Mass Effect Premonition: The End of Dawn
by Narcrotic
Summary: Sequel to Mass Effect Dissolution: Fall of Normandy. Shepard is gone. The Normandy destroyed. With no reason to stay, Tali leaves to go back home. Her new life demands that she move on, but she can't help but refuse. The next two years will prove difficult. Impossible even. -Mature Readers Only. -Tali/Shepard Pairing. AU for Dark Matter Theory and mildly different timeline.
1. Prologue: The End's Beginning

Mass Effect Premonition: The End of Dawn

* * *

><p><strong>|Prologue|<strong>

**|2/2/2184|**

**|Location: Serpent Nebula/Citadel/Kithoi Ward/Yovaan Hotel Complex/2nd floor/Room B-12|**

* * *

><p>Tali's empty stare watched the ceiling in her hotel room to keep the welling tears in her eyes from falling down her hot cheeks.<p>

She was devastated.

Torn.

Angry.

Scared.

Lost.

Grief-ridden.

Hours passed by and she sat through it all, eyes still empty and mind consumed with memory.

She could spend an eternity here, she thought numbly.

The only thing stopping her was the pilgrimage looming over her lulling head. But even then, the responsibility dangled off at the very _bottom_ of her totem pole of worries.

She sighed and checked checked the time to see how much time had passed since John's funeral.

Eight hours.

She'd spent eight hours doing nothing but think.

And sitting here with only her thoughts to keep her company was steering her way to insanity.

She felt herself breaking inside.

And it felt like dying.

She shook her head for the umpteenth time, and went over it all.

The Normandy.

The crew.

Ullipses.

The collectors.

John.

Her eyes squeeze shut at the mere mention of his name.

John Shepard.

She tucked her knees in and wrapped her arms around them.

She went over it again.

The Normandy.

The crew.

Ullipses.

The collectors.

And John.

It was regret, she supposed.

All of it.

Regretful that she hadn't stayed with him before the Denmark had been gutted from bottom to top, muttering one last painful breath before exploding into an unsteady miasma of lights.

Regretful that she hadn't gone down with John against the vacuum of space.

Regretful that she'd watched it all helplessly from a distance.

She cried a little longer and the minutes roll by.

She should've went down that elevator with him.

But she didn't.

And now he's dead.

And she was here.

"John," She quivered as a tear finally fell down her cheek, "_please_." Her chest heaved for air she didn't want to breathe, "I _need_ _you_."

* * *

><p>Four hours passed.<p>

The desire to join the others to some small gathering Liara had planned never grew.

But it was best if she made an appearance. And, with any luck, she'd feel some release from her unyielding vise of depression, and quell, even for a moment, her grief.

A heavy sigh passed through her lips as she heaved herself from bed.

Her eyes were heavy and swollen.

From sobbing, obviously.

She came up to the door and didn't bother checking herself in the mirror.

Having someone you loved so intensely gone would tend to make you not care about the way you looked anymore.

She stepped out into the hallway, went down an elevator, out through the foyer, and into the streets to the rendezvous point Liara had picked.

Passerby's would occasionally glance at the quarian, while others would stare at her blankly.

She ignored them all and absently put one foot in front of the other.

She took a left.

Unlike the Presidium and the local ward surrounding it, the extremities that made up the Citadel were analogous to that of the city floors of Illium or Omega even.

There were undesirables strewn about the alleyways. Most of them sleeping or searching through trash, others smoking some weird herb, or getting high off red sand.

The usual.

Then there were the thieves and gangs and criminals. All of them "incognito" in the midst of the homeless ready to feed off any unsuspecting middle-class idiot who'd accidentally wandered off too far into these parts.

As Tali walked, it wasn't a surprise to come across some pugnacious looking group of people standing on the opposite end of the street.

If it were her guess, they were probably a part of some lame gang with a little 'territory' here.

She watched them from the corner of her eye and mentally sighed.

Assholes like the ones she was looking at tended to disillusion themselves with the idea that quarian girls like her were helpless and naive about the inner workings of what lay stuffed under the Citadel's silver lining.

She counted them.

Two batarians, a turian, and what looked to be a drell.

One of the batarian's pointed in her direction following the suit of three new pairs of eyes (or four if Tali was being nitpicky) turning to stare at her as she strolled by.

They discuss something quickly and came to a stupid decision. Before the group could begin their idiotically aggressive stride, the drell stopped them all with the extension of an arm.

"You're all signing yourselves up for a funeral." The drell informed, "It'd probably be smart _not_ to jump her."

"Oh, shut the fuck up," sneered the turian, "It's a dumb fucking quarian. What she gonna do, cough?"

"I'd rather she give me a handjob." One of the batarians added with a slur.

They pushed past the drell and made their way to her.

Wow.

She was not in the mood for this.

"Hey bitch." The turian spat, his stride long and amped to make himself look bad-ass.

"Fuck off. I'm in _no_ mood." Tali remarked flatly.

Generally, she didn't swear openly; much less with human-made ones.

But there was always an exception.

"Well shit, bitch has got _quite_ the mouth." The batarian who'd made the handjob comment said, "I'd love to see her use it for something else."

The distance closed and before long they surrounded her with the musky scents of cheap cologne and offensive amounts of alcohol.

Oh yeah. They were all drunk as _shit_.

Ordinarily, fighting three sober men would have been dangerous. But judging by their breath alone, this'd be damn cake-walk.

"_What do you want_?" Tali replied with a low growl.

"You." The handjob batarian said before placing his sweaty palm on her arm. He tried to pull her down on to the ground... but his elbow suddenly hung loose at an odd angle.

Then the quarian gave him a nasty cross face too before rolling to the side, pulling out her concealed weapon, and firing.

The bark of her pistol spat two rounds, both swallowed whole by the turian's arm and leg.

The turian, now with _two_ extra holes, slipped and dropped his knife before hitting his bony head on the curb and bruising his brow.

The last batarian whirled around to get a bead on the quarian and realized the hot tip of Tali's pistol was tracing his forehead, laser and everything.

"Drop the gun. Now."

The batarian didn't have the heart to lower his weapon. Mainly out of fear, Tali assumed.

"You _really_ wanna do this?" Tali said with a demanding murmur, "Put the damn gun down and you get to see tomorrow."

The gun fell from the batarian's loose hands and he fell to his knees.

"Please… _d_-don't _s-s_-shoot." The batarian pleaded as he covered his eyes with his hands.

"I removed the incendiary rounds this morning." Tali said flatly as she kicked his gun into the street, "Be glad your friend isn't _cooking you dip-shitted Tet'shuct_."

Tali glanced at the bleeding two-holed turian before tossing her spare parcel of medi-gel toward the guy's feet.

"Your friend's bleeding out." Tali said as she holstered her pistol, "Try this again, and I'll omit my exercise to use such _selective_ marksmanship."

Before she turned and left, she saw the drell from earlier waving to her with a smirk on his face.

Just out of irony, she waved back, and went on her way.

Fucking assholes.

* * *

><p>Garrus tapped at the wooden finish of the bar inattentively while holding his Krolus Heineken in the other. He took another, rather large, gulp and lightly placed the ice-cold mug back on the counter before turning his attention to the vid placed before the small congregation of drinkers.<p>

He came early, as always, to events like this, cheerless or joyful. It was routine, and not even the death of Shepard, as he saw it, could change that. For once, he decided to not wear his iconic visor; the occasion made the head piece an awkward accessory to his outfit. Hearing heavy footsteps come up from behind him, he turned around to see Wrex approach.

"How you doin'?" Wrex asked simply as he sat down at the bar with Garrus.

"Been better." His reply was crass and bitter. He took another swig of beer and put it back on the counter.

"Ryncol. Potent. Two limes." Wrex thumbed the counter for the salarian bartender.

A minute passed by and neither of them said anything.

When the bartender handed the krogan his drink, he snatched it, dumped whatever was in the mug into his open mouth (including the two limes) before setting the mug back down on the counter.

"Another, please." he said.

"Right away."

"So," Wrex shrugged as he faced Garrus, "What should we talk about?"

"Not sure, Wrex." The turian gave another glance at the vid behind them both and shook his head, "Not sure."

Thirty minutes passed before Tali came walking into the place.

Soon after was Ash, Joker, Liara, and several of the crew who were fortunate enough to survive their mishap.

They all moved to a private booth, sipped on alcohol, and chewed tasteless food before departing with little or no good-byes.

This was farewell to everyone mostly.

Including Tali.

No one knew it yet, but she was leaving tomorrow. And she wouldn't say so until she was long and far gone from this place.

Until then, all she had to worry about was getting back to her hotel.

Ash and Liara both insisted that Tali just get a ride in their car, but she refused.

So Liara called a taxi instead before helping her in the air-car, paying for the fare, and saying their good-byes.

When she made it back, she passed the lobby, took the elevator back up to her floor, and weaved her way through the hotel's gray hallways before sliding in her card and entering her room.

Without much thought, she sat on the bed, wept for one last time, and fell asleep.

Though, even in her dreams, Tali wouldn't escape the agony.


	2. Silent Leave

**|Chapter 2|**

**|2/2/2184|**

**|Location: Serpent Nebula/Citadel/Kithoi Ward/Yovaan Hotel Complex/2nd floor/Room B-12|**

* * *

><p>Tali shook her head and closed her eyes before sighing.<p>

Leaving without saying a good-bye to anyone was going to be a mistake.

She zipped her bag full of her meager belongings, shouldered it, and made her way to the lobby to check out.

After doing all of that, she sat down on a lavishly comfortable chair in the hotel's foyer and waited for her taxi.

She stared blankly out to one of the large windows, one with an average view of the city, and thought.

The flotilla was only a day or two away.

After that, she'd be back.

Back to a new life on some new ship to do some new thing.

Yeah. Some new thing.

She squeezed her eyes shut and couldn't bring herself to look at the window anymore.

She still felt regret mostly, if she wasn't lying to herself.

All that time wasted over trying to convince herself the idea of staying with John on the Normandy was an idea best kept as a dream.

But that's all it ever could be now.

Just a dream.

Fuck the pilgrimage.

She wanted _John_ back.

A taxi turned the corner and stopped inside the hotel's roundabout.

She stood up from the chair, walked out, and didn't even give the place a second glance.

"This is the six thirty, right?" Tali asked nonchalantly as she clambered inside.

The driver didn't reply.

When she looked up to repeat herself out of the idea that he hadn't heard her, her mouth went dry.

She frowned.

Intensely.

Of _all_ the goddamn chances...

"_Hi_." Tali growled to the batarian that'd tried mugging her last night, "How're you?"

The man didn't even bother turning around to face her.

He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Uhm..."

"_Drive_." She ordered.

"R—right." He turned off the roundabout and to the airway.

The next minute or so carried off in silence. And it looked like it was killing him more than her.

Tali finally decided to break it.

"How're your friends?" She asked with a frown before crossing her legs and arms, "They faring well?"

"Which do you want to know about first? The one you shot? Or the one with a limp elbow?"

"Limpie first."

"Checked out of the ER this morning. The turian guy's still in. Got admitted into the OR last night."

"I see..." Tali murmured mostly to herself.

"Yeah."

She took a deep breath and willed herself to apologize. "...I'm sorry."

And just as she expected, he wasn't going to take it well.

"_What_? _Sorry_? Why would _you_ be sorry?"

She looked out to her window and into the reflection staring back at her. "...Shooting him was a little excessive. And breaking an arm wasn't exactly necessary."

"I didn't even know them." He admitted, "I was just wasted and high as a kite."

"Apology accepted."

They drove for another minute or so without saying anything before her driver caught notice of the wispy trails of thin smoke out near the ward's horizon.

"Smoke's a little thicker than usual." He pointed out, "See that?"

Tali stared out from her window and to the dozens of felled scrapers Sovereign had laid waste to months ago.

And just like that, Tali slipped into a flashback to their last moments of fighting Sovereign and his pet Spectre.

The gravity of those final hours... the mere idea of knowing the galaxy depended upon the actions of such a select few... It never failed to always make her stomach churn.

"They're still getting head counts, you know." He said, pulling Tali out of her senseless wandering, "Lost my parents and my dog there."

"I'm sorry."

"No reason to be." Her driver replied with the barest hint of a shrug and mellow tone, "Happened during the attack."

"Is that what pushed you to drink and shoot yourself up?"

"No." He shook his head, "It was me losing my job three weeks ago at some firm. Guess that was the last straw. Lost it after that. Working as a cab driver in the meantime to make some ends meet."

"We all make mistakes."

"No." He said quietly, "Not mistakes like that. You had every reason to pull that trigger last night."

"How much do you even remember, exactly?"

"Not much. Enough to make me regret everything."

They finally turned off the airway toward the airport.

"Almost there. You should get your things ready."

She took his advice and shouldered her bag.

"...And we're here." The cab driver said as he pulled up to the airport. He turned around and saw her staring absently to the dozens of people walking outside.

"...You okay?"

"Frankly, no. I'm not." She murmured before looking at her omni-tool, "Thirty credits I believe?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Thirty credit tip." She answered.

"Uh... why are you doing this...? Is this some kind of sick trick up your sleeve?"

"No," She said before handing him a credit chit and smiling weakly, "I do it because..."

She was suddenly at a loss for words.

Because what?

Tali wasn't exactly known for having a bleeding heart for drunk druggies looking for trouble.

But she supposed she had one for the people who'd met dead ends in life.

Like her.

"...Because we all have to shoulder something." She answered finally, "I guess I'm supposed to say there's light at the end of every tunnel."

"I hope so." He murmured weakly with a faint smile before taking the chit from her, "My name's Caleb, if it means anything."

"Your name's… surprisingly human."

"Parents were human."

"...I see."

"Look… before you go… what's your name again?"

"Tali… Tali'Zorah nar Rayya."

His jaw went slack and he didn't have the guts to meet her stare anymore.

"...Of _all_ the people." He sighed before shaking his head, " I hate to say it, but I'm glad it was you we picked. Thanks for handing us a piece of our asses."

"Good-bye Mr. Caleb. A pleasure meeting you."

"Likewise… and ma'am… I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you." She mumbled before shaking his hand. Closing the door, she turned to look at the airport's one of several automatic doors. Hearing his vehicle gradually accelerate behind her, she began a steady walking pace through the bustling commonplace, and vanished into the crowd of people.

* * *

><p><strong>|Chapter 3|<strong>

**|Date: 2/3/2184|**

**|Location: Serpent Nebula|**

* * *

><p>She eyed the long set of tickets in her hand until the ship's intercom squawked for everyone's attention.<p>

"This is Niak Gladimere Speaking, Captain of the _Hollowed Fame_… Our destination is to the Horse Head Nebula. Estimated Time to Arrival is approximately 3 hours until we arrive in the Pax system, planet Noveria. From there, we will arrive at the Noverian space port. Following this message, our attendants will show you a variety of safety equipment, its location, and how they are used. Please, enjoy your flight."

As promised, flight attendants had entered into the middle row and began lecturing their passengers of the rules and whatnot.

As the _Hallowed Fame_ initiated its ascent towards the relay, Tali, unfortunately, had the time to sit down and think some more.

Her heart still ached and the headache she had wasn't helping. Turning off her voice, she groaned before letting her fist clench into a vice. Her omni-tool flashed a warning to tell her she'd just received a text.

She opened the letter.

_From: Garrus._

_To: Tali_

I really wish you hadn't left without telling me. I have something here that Shepard told me to give you in case he didn't make it.

I guess I'll have to wait until I see you again.

Hopefully soon.

_-Garrus_

Her palm found its way across her mask before cringing from the frothy burst of tears. Her small and mighty chokes for air forced her chest to tremble and throb.

* * *

><p>"She isn't going to answer." Garrus murmured.<p>

Liara shrugged and kept her eye on the little trinket in her hand.

It looked handmade she mused. Very professionally done.

She flipped it over and studied it. The thing was made with polished metal and painted matte black. At its center was a disk of glass with laser etched markings.

"What do you think it is?" Liara asked as it danced around in her hands.

"What do you think, Liara? It's for sentimental value." Garrus got up from the chair and walked toward her, "Put it _back_ in the box." He didn't bother hiding his irritation.

She did as she was told and placed the small medallion back into its proper place.

"Sorry… I just wanted to see what it looked like." She said shamefully.

He took the box, stuffed it back into the bag, and put it next to the front door.

"Tali and Wrex are gone." He grumbled frustratingly, "We expected that from Wrex. But from _her?_ From Tali?" He frowned, "After all we've done… we lose _one_ man. And _everything_ falls apart." He sighed again and let his head hang low, "Who knew that he was the only thing keeping us together."

"Garrus…"

"Look at us." He said before giving her a hard stare.

The silent hum of a refrigerator broke the awkward silence between them.

"…We've lost so much. And now we're losing the only thing we've got left."

"And what's that?"

"I don't know... family...? kinship...?" He muttered and leaned heavily on a wall. He glanced at the cast wrapped around her stomach and made a note of how uncomfortable it looked.

"Look… I'm gonna head back up to my room." Garrus whispered as he opened the door.

"Let me come with you." She said, hoping he would let her. He grinned weakly and extended his hand out, gesturing that she follow.

"By all means." Garrus mumbled, "I hope you know how to cook for a turian."


	3. Cast Aways

**|Chapter 4|**

**|Date: 2/3/2184|**

**|Location: Exodus Cluster|**

* * *

><p>Weapons diagnostics.<p>

MAKO sensor manuals.

Simulators.

Alliance engineering proprieties.

It was all _useless_ now.

She scrolled through the long list of apps on her omni-tool and finally decided it be best to delete them. When the last icon finally disappeared from her menu, she came across the long string of text messages she'd kept for the better part of a year.

All of them with John, of course.

Maybe a few with Liara and Garrus... But mostly John.

Most of the topics involved menial things like the Normandy's core readouts, or how she needed help with installing some component into her armor or shotgun.

Some of them more meaningful. Things like dealing with the pressure of combat, or what to do when you had some trouble sleeping at night.

He was there for it all.

Not anymore.

She'd never get to do any of that again with him.

Ever.

She drew out a flat sigh and saved them by stuffing them into an unlabeled file.

"This is your captain speaking…" Her pilot said through the intercom, "We'll be arriving at the Noverian space station shortly. Please be ready for landing. We ask that you fasten your seat belts and have your personal belongings close to you." He took a breath and paused, "And, as per Noverian security protocol, random security checks will be conducted upon departure." The intercom clicked off and left Tali staring at the ceiling.

Great.

Guess who was going to get a "randomly" selected?

This girl.

* * *

><p>"Tali'Zorah nar Rayya? Did I say that right?" The turian asked as he set his hands on the cold metal table.<p>

"Yes sir."

"Go on." He said.

Tali's frown deepened.

The tone the officer was using wasn't helping at all.

"I'm returning from pilgrimage." She repeated for the sixth time since the interrogation started.

He rose what could pass as eyebrows and skimmed through his stack of papers.

Tali peered at his little packet of paper with an unimpressed look on her face. What the hell were those papers even for?

What could he possibly be looking at?

But more importantly, what else was she supposed to say?

They frisked her twice and had her belongings sitting in some locker.

Fuck _all_ of this.

The turian in front of her grumbled something, looked back up to her for a second, and back down to his papers again.

If she were guessing by the way his mandibles flickered, he wasn't buying the story.

"So you're telling me that you are **_the_ **Tali'Zorah. The one who'd helped Commander John Shepard liberate the Citadel?"

"Yes."

"Would she really book passage on a common passenger airship? That's odd, isn't it? Wouldn't she have a better means of traveling?"

"_Look_. You wanna know how it's me?" She stood up from the table before leaning forward.

The turian settled a hand on his tazor and gave her a grizzly look.

"John Shepard got spaced. He was one _fucking_ floor below me. A geth cruiser sabot round pierced the lower cargo deck of the Denmark. Sixty seven crew men dead. Nearly half of them the Normandy's. I booked myself on a common passenger airship because I wanted to get away from it all and go home."

She actually lied. Who would believe her if she had said a collector ship had killed John rather than a geth one?

She unbuttoned a part of her realk and showed the turian the impact shot on her suit. "You see this?"

The obviously uncomfortable turian looked at her burnt stomach.

"This is the result of a directed energy weapon. I threw myself in it to save the Commander, which I would gladly show you, had my omni-tool _not_ been taken away."

He tried to open his mouth, but Tali wasn't finished.

"The Normandy's final resting ground is on Ullipses. Care to entertain me, _officer_, to what happened to that planet?"

"News reports say it doesn't exist anymore."

"_Correct_."

The turian couldn't meet her gaze anymore so he stared at the floor. "I'm sorry."

Tali's shoulders trembled when she sat down.

Seeing as how he didn't have any more questions worth asking, he signaled behind the two-way mirror and stood up.

Before the turian opened the door to leave, he turned his head slightly and spoke with a murmured rasp. "You have my condolences, ma'am."

There was a long pausebetween them both. "... and I'm sorry for your loss... And for wasting your time."

When the closed the door quietly behind her, she let the time that passed by consume her until she wept silently.

Doing this was going to end her.

* * *

><p>"It's a little salty…? Though I'm surprised you managed to cook for a Dextro... much less cook at all." Garrus said as he chewed slowly on the greasy chunk of meat.<p>

She gave the turian a crooked grin before glaring. "I'm a scientist Garrus, not a cook." The cocky expression Liara gave did little to hide the scoff Garrus made.

He rolled his eyes, leaned back, and continued chewing.

"Garrus?"

"Hm?"

"...Do you wonder where he could be right now?" Liara asked as she grabbed her spatula to cook her vegetables.

"Drifting." Garrus said simply with a blank stare.

"Drifting." She repeated quietly.

He shrugged.

"Maybe it's just a feeling, Liara... but did you ever feel that maybe the collectors were there for _us_ and not the Normandy?"

"Maybe." She said before setting the spatula down, "But the meteors... the abduction..."

"and the whole planet blowing up because of a black-hole developing in its core?" Garrus finished for her, "Yeah. Stuff straight from a movie."

"...Movie or not, it happened. It was insane... But, I don't think there's anything else to it."

"It's just a feeling." He murmured to himself.

"Any hunches then, detective?" She crossed her arms and faced him.

"They wanted _every_ poor bastard that was human. That was pretty clear. But why though? You think they might've wanted Shepard? Maybe that's why they took all the humans?"

"What could they possibly have wanted with him?"

"You're burning your food." He pointed to the pan and the puffs of smoke from her hissing veggies.

She muttered something the turian couldn't make out and continued her sub-par cooking.

"Experiments maybe." Garrus suggested since Liara hadn't said anything else, "Rumors always said collectors wanted odd stuff. A slave here, a gun there. Or maybe they wanted a living trophy, I don't know. But what really gets me, is that... somehow they took the crew, while, at the same time, put you, me, Tali, and Wrex to _sleep_. How does that work?"

"It's an interesting point." Liara mentioned with a shrug.

"I mean, no one has any memory or recollection as to how that _happened_? Not even the crew knew. They just... woke up in a _pod_."

"And we woke up at the Normandy." Liara recalled.

"And that's the best part." Garrus said as he pointed to her with his fork, "They didn't kill us. What did they expect us to do when we woke up?"

"I don't know, Garrus. You're not going to get any answers from me."

Garrus stared back at his steak and sighed. "No, I suppose not."

"...You think they still want him?"

The turian scoffed.

"Shepard's dead. What would they want a dead man for?"

"I don't know. But maybe... we should at least try and find him...?"

"You're kidding. He could've atomized in the blast."

"And you could be right... but we should at least try... you and I know it's what he deserves. Plus, you and I have enough expenses to live comfortably for the next decade or two."

"My life span's varren years compared to you."

"But that's more than enough time to search for his body. It's out there somewhere. With the right information… the right equipment..."

Garrus put an elbow on the table and a palm on his cheek.

"I've got nowhere else to go…" He garbled.

* * *

><p><strong>...Hours later.<strong>

She dreamed of flying toward a red giant. Watched its round swollen body, late in the stages of stellar evolution, spread its long, hot, and fiery tendrils into the vacuum of space.

The spiraling jets of bright light from the aging star massed near the event horizon of an inky circle devoid of life or light.

A black hole.

The sun grew pale and its burning fire dampened. Before the small quarian, the sun uttered its final gasp of breath before finally collapsing into a supernova.

She watched it blankly with hardly a flinch.

The pain of John's death was worth more than a _million_ suns.

It wasn't sufficient enough to weigh against the gravity of what she'd lost. If anything, the weight was heavier than any black hole and more visceral than any supernova in the known universe.

She too joined the star's fate. Gripped by the power of an unyielding gravitational pull, she was thrashed around into a vicious elliptical path into the howling dark.

Her eyes opened slowly and had to remember where she was again.

Ah, right.

She was inside some shitty corvette surrounded by equally shitty looking people on her last ride home to Hamshee station.

Her eyes stung, so she closed them and rest her head back on the shitty headrest with fluff coming out the back.

"Only a couple hours more…" Tali murmured with a forced sigh.

She'd been on this old and nasty ship, squeezed between a chubby looking hanar and a pasty looking drell for six hours.

And she was pretty sure this was the eighteenth time the drell got up to piss.

All of this was only reminding her of what was to come.

Cramped spaces.

Old ships.

And being butt to nut next to people without a moments reprieve.

For the rest of her life.

* * *

><p>Wrex's stepped onto the platform and listened to the echo of his footsteps dwarf the salarian's.<p>

"The model?" Wrex asked quietly as they approach the ship.

"HTX Three Series: corvette class, sir." The salarian answered.

"Nice ship." Wrex replied evenly.

"Indeed." The salesman nodded.

"I'll take it."

"Excellent!" The salarian clasped his hands together, "Follow me; we'll get you set up." The krogan followed the small man and watched the bounce in his step with a faint looking smile.

"Where are you going, if I might ask?" Salarian asked as he gave Wrex a quick sideways glance, "Vacation?"

"I wish I were." Wrex said as he followed the little salesman, "But I'm going back to Tunchanka. Some things I need to settle."

"I see." The salarian nodded as they entered his office.

"If it's alright with you, I'd like to pay in full. Cash."

"O—of course! Absolutely! Any warranties you'd be interested in? We off—"

Wrex cut him off with the simple raise of his hand. "None necessary, it's a one way trip; I'll scrap it once I'm finished traveling." The krogan leaned forward, grinned meekly, and offered his hand to shake.

Registering the gesture, the salesman accepted quickly, using both hands to grip the krogan's.

"A pleasure Mr. Wrex."

"Likewise." His voice carried off as he thumbed his Omni-tool to transfer the credits.

* * *

><p>There wasn't much to be said about Ashley.<p>

At the current moment, she was placed on 'leave' and to await 'further instructions from her superiors.'

Fortunately, the brass kept their space and waited for when she could get back on her feet.

So they extended her leave.

Thank god.

Literally.

After what had to have been the fourth shower that day, she sat back down on the couch and turned the TV on just so she could get some background noise to think.

She lost a lot of friends on the Normandy.

A _lot_.

And now Shepard and his team were going their separate ways.

It was only a matter of time, really. This whole campaign against Saren was going to end sooner or later.

But she didn't expect it to end so violently.

She sipped on her hot tea and massaged her eyes to ease the swelling from the amount of crying she did.

It was almost as bad as when she lost Kaiden. She swallowed another gulp of tea to curb her urge to cry again.

She thought about praying.

Hoping somehow that John was in a better place.

After all of the shit he went through, he should be. It wouldn't be fair.

But at this very moment, she didn't want to pray.

John was supposed to be the last person that needed to die in the galaxy.

But he did. He was called home.

In a terrible way.

She gulped down the rest of whatever was in her cup and went to fetch for some more on the stove.

She should've denied the extended leave-time.


	4. Returning Home

**|Chapter 5|**

**|2/4/2184|**

**|Location: Migrant Fleet :/ System: Hades Gamma :/ Ship's Pending Depletion of Charge Saturation|**

* * *

><p>She spent the better part of her trip back on this rental ship in the helm, glancing between screens and the OSD in her hand.<p>

Every now and again, she'd give the little disk in her hand a long and hard look.

This tiny device... this _small_ square... was an opportunity.

An opportunity to change the life of every quarian forever.

An opportunity to change an entire _galaxy _forever.

According to John, it was history in the making.

To bad he wouldn't be around to see it.

A bitter sigh fell from her lips.

"_God_... _damnit_."

"User," The VI spoke to her through the ship's PA, "…Hailing Frequencies have been intercepted. IFF is activated; we are being targeted."

Tali sat up and accepted the hail.

"Fleet control to Foreign Vessel: maintain your current heading. Do _not_ deviate."

"Copy fleet control." Tali replied.

There was a long pause.

"Foreign vessel, state your purpose and content for approach, how copy?"

"This is Tali'Zorah nar Rayya; Requesting permission to dock with the MFS Rayya. I return from pilgrimage." Tali said calmly.

There was another long pause on the end of the traffic controller. No doubt the guy was getting his electronic list of pass phrases for quarian pilgrims.

"Please verify." The air traffic controller replied.

"After time adrift among open stars, along tides of light and through shoals of dust…" She paused, "…I will return to where I began."

"Welcome home, Tali'Zorah nar Rayya."

She imagined that he was smiling.

"I'd like a security and quarantine team to meet me, the ship isn't clean." She got up from the chair, pocketed her pilgrimage gift and started pacing around the helm chair.

"Understood, please… uh, please approach the right starboard interior docking bay 4. An escort will help guide you. Sending trajectory coordinates to your ship's VI now."

"Thank you."

* * *

><p>It was all exactly how she remembered it.<p>

One year and six months and the tiny dripping leak just next to door number six to biomass inductor one was still there.

And the pipe above temperance duct number eight just down the hall still rattled from two missing U-bolts.

And it still looked like the little gray blue tarps covering doors two, eight, and nine for biomass examiner two and three were still there.

She sighed and took it all in.

"Still the same as you left her, Tali'Zorah." Dohn'Sai said as he caught notice of her before waving.

"Disappointing, Dohn." Tali called out with a forced smile, "I told you to fix the leak on door number six before I left."

"The replacement part's been back ordered for a year." He said before waving her off and turning down a hallway, "Nice to see you again, Tali! It's good to have you back!"

"Yeah." She muttered lamely under her breath, "It's good to be back."

Tali's forced smile fell right off her face, and, for some odd reason, the Normandy and her crew echoed through her thoughts ominously.

She made her way to the clean room to get her suit set up for mandatory examination propriety.

* * *

><p>Tali <em>loved<em> being naked.

Obviously.

Any time spent out of her prison would be a good one.

Her robe, which she had discarded long ago, lay on the bed, sulking as she checked over every stitch and fabric on her enviro-suit. She sat down on the cold metal chair and draped both sleeves over her thighs while carefully feeling for any micro tears or thinning imperfections.

The last time she had released herself from prison was in her room back on the SR1.

That was nearly _3 months_ ago.

On the Normandy, she'd be outside of the suit every day of the week. That luxury ended when she had to return back to the Flotilla.

She even had the luxury to sleep with nothing on...

...Which she'd done a lot while on the Normandy.

With a forced sigh, she continued her long and mundane examination.

"Tali'Zorah...? Just checking up on you. Are you okay?" A voice had croaked through the clean room's PA.

Interrupted from her thoughts, she gave the speaker a curious look.

"I'm fine...thank you." She replied flatly. Her eyes fell back to looking over her sleeves.

"Good. Make sure you give yourself a physical to find anything out of the ordinary." The disembodied voice said.

"Thank you..." She mumbled, "Is this Khato'Laksva?"

"Indeed, Tali! I'm a doctor now."

"Congratulations." Came Tali's reply, "Though I have to ask, I don't remember this being part of the propriety when coming back from pilgrimage."

"Just recently, Tali. It's a precaution that was deemed fit for the safety of the crew." Kahto answered over the PA, "We had someone come back from her pilgrimage... she had malignant tumors in her breast. Somehow she'd contracted radiation poisoning from some odd jobs she had. I'll spare you most of the other details." The quarian doctor gave a bleak sounding sigh, "Point being...she had lost more than just a breast. The cancer metastasized and spread to her other organs. She died. Afterward, we deemed it necessary that we incorporate more caution for our pilgrims and people returning from travel duty."

"...was she your patient?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"I'm sorry, Kahto."

"Yeah...you and me both, Tali. She's in a better place now, I hope."

Catching the awkward silence that would have ensued afterward, she spoke.

"What's up? What did you need me for?"

"I need you to step into the that little room next to the bed there, Tali. It's a sensor suite to scan your guts."

"...interesting." She mumbled when she walked to the small sliding door.

"Go ahead and take your robe off and step inside."

"Already off." She mumbled before stepping inside the confining space. Fluorescent lighting enshrined her body.

"See the plates at your side? Go ahead and rest your hands on them please." His said calmly, "Thank you."

She did as instructed.

"Great. And we'll begin." The light was blinding and she squeezed her eyes shut.

"Be as still as possible. This will only take a moment." A glowing film of blue had scanned her body from her vertical and horizontal planes. Then the machine powered down after the test.

"Thank you, Tali. I'll forward you your results to your omni-tool as soon as we're done examining. Enjoy the clean room as long as you need to Tali. But don't forget to check your body and report anything suspicious."

"Thanks Kahto."

"No problem, Tali. See you around." The PA clicked off.

Tali stepped out of the machine, hung her suit onto a hanger, and decided to take a nap. Slipping herself into the bed's comfortably warm sheets, she sighed and closed her eyes.

"Dim lights."

The lights dimmed. Suddenly, a festering blister of guilt had crushed Tali's little heart.

She was laying comfortably in the safety of a bed.

While whatever remained of John floated in vacuity.

A throbbing pain twisted deeply in her throat while tears blot her eyes and streak across her cheeks.

She sobbed bitterly and her chest trembled in mighty heaves.

* * *

><p><strong>Six hours later...<strong>

"13 _terabytes_ worth of data you said?" Mima's head had sunk forward to emphasize the surprise in her voice.

"Yes." Tali retorted uneasily, hands wringing with anxiety.

"What are you so worried about? You could dangle this by the end of a string and have captains nipping at it like varren!" Mima carefully handed her the OSD back, then turned around to face the screen in front of her.

"I know… you're right..." she replied, slipping the OSD carefully back into her pocket, "...so will you help me pick a ship?"

"Well… let me have a look see." Mima placed a gentle hand on her shoulder then began searching for a ship with the specs Tali wanted.

"I've got over 350 places I'd recommend..."

"Any with research labs?" Tali asked in hopes of narrowing the search. Mima went back to searching and came with results. "Okay, you're down to 25."

"Tailored for my specialties?"

A short pause and Mima answered. "You're down to 5."

"Let me see them." Tali's sat down in front of the monitor and looked.

When she thumbed to the last ship, she felt an instant connection to the ship's name.

It was a memoire.

The _Neema_—_Remember your past with reverent eyes; we must carry on._

* * *

><p>The festival's livelihood had loosened Tali's composure, her shoulders finally sagging from the week's daily stress. The music and festivities that had shrouded the Neema's plaza was something that Tali secretly yearned for upon her return.<p>

Though losing John had made it much less exciting.

The finale of the celebration ended with presenting her gift to the Neema's captain. Holding the gift with both his hands, he accepted with a curt nod.

"Welcome aboard, Tali'Zorah _vas _Neema nar Rayya. We are honored to have you as a part of the crew and family." The captain bowed his head following with a prayer, on behalf of the ancestors for having kept Tali safe and sustained until her return.

She knew prayer was mostly a formality. But it still forced her to frown.

_'The only thing that kept me safe was my wits, John, and my crew. Everything else be damned.'_

After the prayer's conclusion, the crew cheered and once more scattered across the plaza to mingle again.

Tali shook hands and made acquaintances with many of the crew and noted which ones she would likely find friendship in.

On top of the promising relationships that could come to fruition, the timely arrival of Admiral Shala'Raan vas Tonbay was unexpected, but nonetheless welcome.

"Auntie Raan!" Tali shouted as she weaved her way through the crowd to meet her beloved family friend.

"Tali'Zorah… _vas_ Neema… oh my _child!_ I am _so **proud** _of you!" Shala's hands reached forward to hug the newest member of the Neema. Tali had returned the favor with a little more force than what was deemed necessary.

The vice around the admiral had nearly knocked the air out of her.

"I missed you _so_ much Auntie." She whispered into Shala's ear.

"I can say the same for _you_... though I can't say the same about those strong arms of yours..." She parted from the embrace, her hands now grasping Tali's.

"How's Father?" Tali asked as she watched Shala compose herself for an answer.

"He's busy Tali, as always…" Her hand sought for Tali's shoulder, the grip tightening on her slouching shoulders.

"Too busy to even see her daughter return from pilgrimage?" She asked bleakly, her head now pointing to her feet.

"He'll see you soon, Tali." Shala raised her head with a gloved hand, "I'll make the Bosh'tet. I promise." They embraced once more.

* * *

><p>CODEX ENTRY: Via Mass Effect Database.<p>

FTL Drive: Drive Charge

As positive or negative electric current is passed through and FTL drive core, it acquires a static electrical charge. Drives can be operated an average of 50 hours before they reach charge saturation. This changes proportionally to the magnitude of mass reduction, a heavier or faster ship reaches saturation more quickly.

If the charge is allowed to build, the core will discharge into the hull of a ship. All ungrounded crew members are fried to a crisp, all electronic systems are burned out, and metal bulkheads may be melted and warped together.

The safest way to discharge a core is to land on a planet and establish a connection to the ground, like a lightening rod. Larger vessels like dreadnoughts cannot land and must discharge into a planetary magnetic field.

As the hull discharges, sheets of lightning jump away into the field, creating an aurora of displays on the planet. The ship must retract its sensors and weapons while dumping charge to prevent damage, leaving it blind and vulnerable. Discharging at a moon with a weak magnetic field can take days. Discharging into the powerful field of a gas giant may require less than an hour. Deep space facilities such as the Citadel often have special discharge facilities for visiting ships.


	5. Family Debriefing

Rael'Zorah's hands remained clasped behind his back while he stared through the _Rayya's_ one of three observation ports.

Tali let her father stare.

She had to remind herself that this was what their relationship stood upon.

Status updates, professional notes, and the occasional meeting to attend.

She was a colleague.

And if that's how he wanted to show his love for her, then she'd make due.

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

Her posture was anything but sub-conscious.

Back straight.

Shoulders reared.

Head leveled and tall.

Hands at her side.

It was something that she felt necessary to illustrate professionalism. The amount of times she had she been berated for her quirky fidgeting was one too many.

"I'm _so_ proud of you Tali…" He turned around slowly to face his daughter.

_That was unexpected. _

She watched her father's shoulders slouch while his hands twitched.

His back suddenly hunched over in such a way that made him look like an old tired man instead of a proud and decorated admiral.

"Dad?"

"Tali'Zorah _Vas_ Neema…" He walked forward and found a seat next to her, "You've been branded as a _hero_. How does that make you feel?"

"Overwhelmed." She muttured stiffly.

His arm found a way around Tali's shoulder. "I could not have asked for a _better_ daughter."

"T—Thanks, dad…" Her head clumsily slipped into his shoulder. She wasn't really catching up to what was going on.

"How did you get all of that information Tali? A raid on the homeworld itself?" He nudged her shoulder with a fist before laughing with his husky voice.

Tali's eyes narrowed as she heard him laugh.

The number of times she'd heard him do it since mom died was probably less than the number of fingers she had.

"There was a Geth incursion that we'd come across in Alliance space." Tali began.

"Yes?" He urged for her to continue.

* * *

><p><strong>|A long time ago…|<strong>

**-Date: 3/8/2183-**

**-Location: SSV Normandy/Frigate Class Vessel-**

**-Alliance Command CCEDF Number: 33DEFZE9-87541JSN-**

* * *

><p>"Normandy?" The voice was heavily obscured by the intercom's electrical noise, "Admiral Hackett here. Are you available, Commander? This is fairly urgent."<p>

"Ready and able, sir. Tell me what you need." John stood up straight and gave his full attention to the PA.

"We're getting reports warning of a marked increase of geth activity in the Skyllian Verge."

Tali, who'd been looking over the maintenance log of an IUR-Coupling Manifold at the CIC station, looked up to listen to the conversation between John and Hackett.

"Our surveillance drones have identified geth outposts on four or more different planets across the Armstrong Cluster… too big for any small group to handle alone."

"And you want us to take them out?"

"Not quite. I don't want you to do this alone. It may be on the verges of Alliance space, but it's still Alliance space." Hackett sighed, "We don't have the resources or the time to evacuate our neighboring colonies. And because of that, we need to take this on the offensive. Frigates SSV-Changsha & Balikpapan, and Cruiser SSV-Mesa are already en-route to the system."

John nodded. "Where do I come into play, sir?"

"It's a lot of information to regurgitate over the radio, Commander. I'll just forward the brief."

"What's the ETA on the task force?"

"Eight hours." Hackett replied, "They'll be the first to contact you when they arrive out of slip-space."

"Any idea what they the geth could be after?" Tali interrupted outloud.

John gave Tali a puzzled frown.

There was an intermittent pause before Hackett answered her.

"Sources indicate the geth are gathering intel on the Alliance's local disposition and armament capabilities... but it's hard to say."

Tali tapped her chin and stepped up next to John. "Do we have an estimate on their numbers?"

"I can't give you an accurate answer. As I've said, any relevant information will be provided in the brief."

"If it's big enough... they could be planning another invasion." Shepard mentioned before frowning at the thought of Eden Prime.

"Let's hope not."

"Anything else Admiral?"

"Nothing else, Commander. Hackett out."

The Normandy's ambient hum returned.

"Sorry..." Tali mumbled while her hands starting wringing anxiously, "I shouldn't have cut you off like that."

John shrugged and thought little of it. "No need to be sorry, Tali. It's fine. That's what humans call 'taking the initiative'. It's a good thing."

She still looked unconvinced. "Oh."

He faced her and smiled. "It's a leadership quality. An important one. Don't be sorry for thinking for yourself."

"Thanks."

"Anytime."

She stepped off the plate, waved Shepard good-bye, and made her to the elevator down to her room. When she finally entered her clean room, she took her mask off, uncapped a water bottle, and took a swig.

She couldn't stop thinking about what John had told her.

About 'taking the initiative'.

It was a _far_ cry from what her dad had taught her.

To Rael, subordinates were supposed to take orders.

And shut-up.

And while John would give orders that needed to be followed, he still praised individualism and encouraged the others to do the same.

That sounded like a true leader to her.

If she'd done that to her dad... a scolding lecture would've awaited her.

Her PA clicked on.

"Hey." John's voice craked through, "Just skimmed over the briefing. I'm thinking we'll be on the ground. So I need you to be part of my ground team. You up for it?"

Going ground side to blow up some geth?

Was that even a choice?

"_Absolutely, _Shepard."

"Great. I'm thinking Garrus should join us." He cleared his throat and stuttered, "I'm about ready to do a combat sim... Care to join me?"

Tali smiled. "Sure. When do you need me? Kaiden said he wanted me to help him with something on the crew deck at lunch."

"1330 hours. Will that be enough time for you?"

"Yes." She said through a grin, "I'll be there."

* * *

><p><strong>|0034 hours later|<strong>

"Sorry... I'm late."

"Four minutes, to be exact." He said while he dawned himself in his gear.

Her head dipped lower and lower until her eyes were staring at the ground. "S... sorry."

_"_Tali? I'm _just_ kidding." He gave the quarian a smile. He nudged her shoulder and urged for her to stand next to him.

_"Oh..." _

_"_Okay. First things first_. _I need your measurements."

"My… measurements?"

"I need to requisition you some proper gear. Therum proved that. I need you at your best and I want you safe."

"Oh...! Well... I can't get _exact_ measurements... since, erm, I'm wearing the suit... you know, unless if I go to my room..."

"Tals... We _really_ got to work on your nervousness."

The little nickname made her heart flutter.

An armored glove reached out to roughly pat her shoulder while his free hand held a roll of measuring tape to drop into her palm.

Her smile grew as she grasped the long string.

"It's got the universal scale on the back. Make sure you measure around your bust, waist, legs, width, length, height, and shoulder width. Okay? Oh, and those wicked looking shins of yours... Probably need a protractor for those."

"What's a bust? I don't think that translated right." Tali's head had tilted, her glowing orbs blinking rapidly.

"The measurement around your boobs Tali. Or… I _think_ those are boobs… right?"

Her cheeks flush as she stared at her breasts awkwardly as if she'd just noticed them for the first time in her life. She looked back up to him. "Ye… Yes—we are… kind of… or—almost identi—quarians are actually mamma—"

"Tali you're getting nervous. A_gain_." He crossed his arms.

"I'm sorry... it's a defense mechanism… I just… I just have to explain because people don't really know my expressions… so I—" She mustered the strength to stop the flailing words.

"You know what I think'll help you relax? A drink. Sometime you should join me next time we're on the Citadel."

_Was I just... invited to go out with him? _

Tali knew they were friends.

_Acquaintances_ at the least. (Which Tali was pretty sure she could cross off now since they'd gotten to know each other more over the past month.)

Despite that, she'd never considered herself an option for someone to actually want to hang out with outside the workplace.

Considering there were _far_ better alternatives of companionship for him other than a quarian girl who ate and drank everything through a goddamn straw.

She was flattered completely, yes. But, on the other hand, it almost felt like reaching for a rope she shouldn't really be reaching for.

Not because she didn't like John, no.

She was afraid of the attachment. Not because she didn't want a steady life or because she wanted a 'taste of the waters'.

It was because she'd witnessed and understood the destructive power of having a broken heart.

_Especially_ in quarians.

That stuff was a _big_ ass deal to them.

She didn't know if she could really 'bond' with someone not a quarian... but... was it worth that chance? To bond with someone incapable of 'bonding' back? To get attached to someone and see them fall for someone else? Or more importantly, to chase something you could probably _never_ have?

Then again, she was thinking of all these intense hypotheticals when all John had asked was 'wanna go out and get a drink sometime?'

Before she could think anymore on the matter, John's voice brought her back to reality. "...ut we really should get started on this simulation okay?"

"R—_right_." She nodded before placing her duffel bag next to his.

This crush on John was seriously starting to probe her brain.

* * *

><p>Two hours passed before they finished their exercise.<p>

And John was impressed with her abilities.

Not that she hadn't already proved that before. Therum was a shining example of how well Tali was at fighting and keeping her head cool.

She'd been trained well.

"So..." She managed to say through a winded breath, "Did I do good?"

"_Phenomenal_ job." Shepard said as he uncapped his canteen, "But, we can make you even better. You can _always_ get better. Remember that. Even I learn." He pointed towards her, "We'll do this same time tomorrow then?"

"I can do that." She nodded, "Question though."

"Shoot."

"When are we actually going to do this mission?"

John shrugged, "Not sure. It's going to be two hours until the Task force arrives. Then we have to link up with them to develop an Operation Order and to determine a ROE. That might take a day or two."

He zipped up his bag took another sip of water. "We're having a briefing after dinner. Get yourself tidied up and I'll see you there."

He grabbed her hand before bringing her in for a congratulatory hug.

"You're doing great, Tali. Keep it up." He said before grabbing his duffel and making his way to the elevator.

She put her things together and glanced, one last time, at John who'd entered the lift.

Wow.

Tali let out a deep breath and tried sorting through her fuzzy thoughts.

It wasn't often she'd come across people like John.

The others on the Normandy were just as polite.

But something was... different.

He felt... more compassionate and thoughtful.

And whether or not he did that to everyone around him didn't much matter.

She felt like a person.

Like an _equal_ around him.

And, somewhere deep down inside, she knew this was more than just some crush.

He'd saved her life.

Let her join the Normandy.

Treated her with decency and respect.

And because of that, she was attracted to him.

_A lot_.

If it were anyone else to have hugged her or pat her shoulder like John did... they'd have earned a snobbish sneer and daggered glare.

But John earned the right.

And she knew he wasn't flirting.

But she certainly wouldn't have minded at this point.

No harm in it, right?

Imagining things like that?

Who would stop her? Much less even know?

Despite the idea, she tossed them aside, because she didn't have to stretch the imagination to know it was all wishful thinking_._

She was a quarian with a handicapped immune system.

And she didn't even share the same chemistry (_Literally_).

And to top that, he didn't even know what she looked like.

...and she'd only known him for, like, a month so far.

She stared at her reflection in the mirror next to her.

There was little to distinguish about her face.

Besides her dainty nose and glowing eyes, details were rare.

She shook her head and sighed.

Here she went again, thinking about all these terrible things over something fairly trivial and uncomplex.

Keelah.

She had to stop doing that. She zipped her duffel up and left to get cleaned up.

* * *

><p>When everyone took their seats, the projector behind John flickered on.<p>

"Everyone enjoy dinner?"

A chorus of yeses answered John.

"Good. I agree. The meatloaf was good." He looked down at the tablet in his hands and began, "So, the first thing I should tell you is what we'll be expecting."

A slide popped up from behind him. "Intel says the geth have been spreading farther along their original FOB's. spreading all across the whole damn nebula."

He read the systems and planets off the list. "They've spread along Tereshkova, Hong, Vamshi, and Gagarin systems on planets, Antibaar, Casbin, Maii, and Rayingri, Respectively. Besides the gas giants they've taken over for charge depletion, we're estimating around a total of 8 to 9 planets under Geth occupation." He turned around to face the hologram. "If you see here, they've positioned themselves so that their defense would be set as a phalanx of some sort."

He pointed to the various planets and patrols across the cluster. "We can't wait for the planets' orbit to off set their tactical advantage. They'll have taken the entire Skyllian by then." He paced around the hologram as it switched to its next image.

"We're expecting a sizeable force strong enough to oppose and suppress the entire fifth fleet ladies and gentlemen. This is no easy matter."

"Great." Ash muttered. The others sitting nodded their heads in agreement.

Garrus rose his hand to ask a question.

"Yes, Garrus?"

"You're probably going to get around to this part, but if they're across nine planets... how exactly are we going to get around to getting them all?"

John nodded his head. "Great question. We're getting the second and first fleets to aid our repelling efforts. The Alliance is planning on pushing a single front all at once. The Normandy will only be partaking in one skirmish. And that's on Rayingri."

Seemingly satisfied with John's answer, he continued from where he left off.

"We also know that the Skyllian verge borders batarian space." The slide changed as Shepard spoke, "Not an important detail... but the Brass are afraid the Hegemony might mistake the Geth for the Alliance or stage them as reason enough to declare a war. Obviously, we don't want that."

The group all nodded.

"Oh. Another detail I missed was that the Normandy's been temporarily assigned to the 63rd Scout Flotilla."

"Who'll be joining us on the ground?" Kaiden asked.

John flipped through his tablet. "The 13th MEU and 132nd Army BCT."

"Really? That many battalions on Rayingri?"

"No. They'll be attending across all nine planets. We'll only have about two companies of men."

"And what about our marine detachment?" Ash picked up, "Will they be on the ground with us?"

"Yup," John said, "Kaiden will be the one leading them."

"Okay." Ashley said, satisfied.

"That's about it so far. The OPORDs still being planned out, so I can't go over anything about that yet... but I'm expecting something from the uppers tomorrow morning."

Ashley thumbed behind her. "So, we good to go?"

"Yup. Everyone's dismissed. Except for Garrus and Tali. I need to speak with you two."

The crew slowly rose from their seats and silently filed out of the room to tend to their duties.

When everyone finally left, and after the doors closed behind them, Garrus spoke.

"So, Tali told me that we're part of your ground team."

"That's right. Kaiden will be leading our detachment and Ash will be aiding him."

"What about Liara and Wrex?" Tali asked.

"Not sure yet. I'll determine that when we get the OPORD." He took a seat next to them both and sighed.

"Tali... It's a far fetch to ask... but do you have any idea why the geth are out there?"

Tali shrugged and shook her head. "Other than what Admiral Hackett mentioned in the brief, no. I have no idea."

John felt the stubble on his chin and nodded. "Okay, I was just wondering. I just can't help but think this is some kind of precursor to some large scale preemptive strike. Like the one on Eden Prime."

"If it's a size that big... then maybe it is." Tali offered.

"Maybe we'll find a lead on Saren." Garrus mentioned.

"That's my hope." John sighed, "Here's to hoping it all goes as planned."

"Anything else, Commander?" Garrus wondered.

John shook his head. "No."

Garrus got up and headed for door. "Then I'll be down in the cargo hold if you need me."

When he left, John turned to Tali. "If you wouldn't mind Tali, I'd like for you to get those measurements done."

"I'll go to my room and do it now." She said before standing up, "So, odd question, but why do I have to take off my suit for this?"

"You're getting an independent rig. You'll have to change into it when we go ground side."

"I see." Tali said, understanding, "Thanks again. Really."

Shepard's eyes interlocked hers, watching her glowing orbs like a child would fireflies.

Her cheeks flushed red.

"No problem. Go on ahead. I'll be waiting for the numbers." He said as he walked her to the door.

She blinked rapidly before replying.

"Uhm. Bye." She nodded before stepping through the door.

John kept his lingering gaze on her until she disappeared from sight.

He finally smirked.

Damn was she pretty.

* * *

><p>(Flashback Continues next chapter.)<p> 


	6. Fall Out

"Brigade! Atten-TION!"

A loud sound of hammering feet boomed across the deck.

"We are touching down in forty minutes, soldiers." Colonel Watson began before he walked to and fro, "Remember. The 13th Marine Expeditionary Unit _will_ be joining us."

Watson curbed the urge to frown when he heard several groans come out of the formation.

He pointed out to the crowd of soldiers to see if he could pick out any guilty faces. "Can it! You'll have your chance of proving yourself better than the jarheads by securing this planet! Under extraordinary circumstances, the army will be _leading_ the assault this time!" He stopped in his tracks and faced his soldiers. "The marines will be a little late to the party!"

Hoots and hollers boomed across the floor.

_Much_ better.

"Mako's have been positioned to your respective drop points, going in via rapid deployment. They'll be the first on the ground. Those LAVs will be clearing a path right into the heart of their infrastructure. From there, you will annihilate and kill any synthetic simpleton stupid enough to mess with the Systems Alliance Army! _HOOAH_?"

The voice of many joined as one: "HOOAH!"

"Brigade! Fall Out! Move to your designated drop ship! Move!" Watson's voice echoed across the entire docking station.

The platoons broke into squads and formed single file lines to enter the VTOLS that would take them to the surface. Anyone assigned to the armor unit gathered near the long stretch of Makos and made their way inside the cramped space.

Four men were assigned to each LAV.

"I'm shaking, man. Itchy as shit." Private Vasquez muttered, "Shit always happens when we do a drop."

"You're a fuckin' pussy, Vas. I swear. Dropped your balls back at basic." Private Arzwall insulted.

"Fuck you."

"Would you guys shut the fuck up?" Vowell said from behind them both, "Wanna hear something good? Commander Shepard'll be with us. He's part of the forward RD."

"What?" He turned to Vas and slapped his shoulder, "Vas here might just shit his pants."

"Arzwall." Vas leaned in with an acrid looking smile, "I'm going to cram my rifle up your ass. Horizontally."

"Everything's an ass joke to you isn't it? You're so _fucking_ gay."

Vowell ignored them both and continued. "The Normandy, if you're both done jerking each other off, is escorting the deployment. We're in good hands."

They all sat down in their seats and strapped themselves in.

"The ops changed a little bit. After we've crossed the FOBs off the list, we go on foot. We're actually going to see him."

"Fuck yeah dude. Maybe he's got that hot ass asari with him." Arzwall said.

"How the fuck did you know he had an asari on his team? And what asari isn't some prude self-deprecating bitch?" Vasquez breathed with a frown.

Before Arzwall could reply, the Mako's driver told them to mind the bump. "Boarding the RADREV. Stand-by."

"Remind me again, what that stands for?" Arzwall asked.

Tillman, the squad leader, answered him. "Rapid Deployment Reconnaissance Vehicle. Made specifically to drop a Mako onto a planet. Small, fast, and lightly armored." Tillman frowned. "Next time, pay fucking attention in class."

"Yes, Corporal."

* * *

><p>Sixty four ships flew in a loose phalanx formation, the leading ship, the Normandy.<p>

"This is Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau of the SSV Normandy. Hold your saddles guys, bumpy ass rides are the norm." Pilot's quirky voice croaked through the Mako's PA, "We're jumping in thirty seconds. Thank you for riding Alliance Airfare Ladies and Gentlemen. We sign you up, we ship you out."

"Cocky assfuck." Vasquez murmured.

"What planet are we landing on again?" Vowell yelled.

"Rayingri, you dumb-ass." Vasquez said with a frown.

"I just forgot dude, Jesus. Don't get your ass in a knot."

"Get prepped, we're falling in thirty seconds you lot." The driver turned around to get a look at all of them, "Don't lose your lunch on her pearly floor, yeah?"

The four in the back nodded.

A click of intermittent static flowed through the intercom, patching the RADREV's pilot through.

"Hit em' hard for us, boys. You'll get the job done. Hooah."

"Dropping in 5."

"…4"

"…3"

"…2"

The RADREV's door opened and the Mako's crew saw the red land below.

"God-Speed gentleman." The pilot's voice ended with a shriek, the Mako already falling through the sky's thick atmosphere.

Thirty one Mako's fell seamlessly through the air.

Vasquez did indeed look like he was going to lose his lunch. All Vowell could do was laugh.

"Think I'm shitting my pants..." Vasquez mumbled.

"What?"

"I think I'm shitting my pants!"

Tillman turned to see the driver and copilot mumbling something.

"What're you guys talking about?"

The driver looked back and shrugged. "We're not receiving any AA fire. Intel told us we'd be receiving some resistance by now."

Tillman nodded and closed his eyes to will himself away from this shitty free fall.

After a thirty seconds of falling, the 2nd armor division finally touched ground.

In minutes, the 2nd Armor established a fob and finally got the call to roll out.

"Pictures don't do this place justice."

"It's 110 degress outside." Vowell observed out the port window, "I already hate this place."

"Dawn your helmets. We're scheduled to be at our objective in less than thirty minutes."

The group put on their headgear.

"We've got thirty minutes people! The 132nd needs that pave way!" The actual announced over the PA.

* * *

><p>John watched the high set walls and empty postings. To him, Tali, and Garrus, it looked like the geth just upped and left the damn place.<p>

"This isn't right." Garrus was the first to say when he looked over one of the Mako's diagnostic screens. "It's a giant trap. And we're all driving right into the middle of it."

"Then stay sharp."

All Tali could do is nod and agree.

John reached for the radio.

"This is the Commander. Exercise extreme caution. Engage without discretion. I repeat, Engage _without_ discretion. Anything beyond this point is to be considered hostile."

The radio squawked. "Uh, say again, Commander? Am I hearing that correctly? Intel reported possibility of POWs."

John sighed before replying.

"Geth don't take prisoners, Captain."

There was a long pause.

"Understood, Commander."

"We'll be at our target in two minutes. I want every soldier ready and in formation. Sat Images confirm the geth withdrew their forces near their main hub. Out."

* * *

><p>Tali took a moment to take a breath and another sip of water before reloading her shotgun.<p>

The battle had been long and brutal, but this was it.

An entire company of men lay waste to the geth's last line of defense.

John rolled onto his back, and grabbed Tali's shoulder. "Tali! Garrus! Get ready!"

"For what?" Tali yelled back.

"You'll see!" Shepard faced the company commander, "Captain, I want first and second platoon to bound up and maintain overwatch as we advance! At that mark, first platoon will throw every grenade they have up that damn hill. Follow that with a three round volley of kill-shot concussive rounds only. Tali will execute a cyber attack to mop up the rest. Am I understood?"

"Clear! Advance! Grenade Volley! 3 round kill concussive! Cyber attack!"

"Good! Execute!"

Thirty three men vaulted over the hill, while the remaining thirty suppressed the geth.

When first platoon passed their mark, standard TA-50 disc charges were thrown up toward the geth.

Tali curbed the urge to grin as she threw her own grenade up over the steep hill.

After that, any geth soldier who'd happened to survive the ordeal was cut down with concussive blasts.

Then the battlefield fell silent. The smoke cleared, and the soldiers took the chance to reload.

"Commander! Orders!"

Seeing the opportunity to finally finish this, he motioned with an arm to the hill top.

"Move up!" John shouted, "Move! Go! Up the hill!" He turned to Tali and put a hand on her shoulder to get her attention. "Now's a good time to put your hacking skills to good use."

* * *

><p>"We killed them all." Tali whispered to her dad.<p>

"Your commander sounds like an _excellent_ tactician. But, you didn't tell me exactly how you got around to getting the data."

"It wasn't easy. After we'd taken stock of what was left over, I'd realized one of the hubs were still networked with a lace. Somehow it misfired and didn't initiate a self-destruct sequence. Faulty wiring I guess."

"Unbelievable." He muttered.

"But I have to tell you one thing."

"What is that?"

"The Geth… they were… studying us… I think."

"In what way?"

"...our art."

Her father physically reeled.

"...Why?"

"I don't know… It came up as a hologram. And it was a woman reciting some poem… sorrowfully." Her brow furrowed as she tried to remember.

* * *

><p>"We're clear, sir! No contacts!" PFC Vasquez called out.<p>

"Excellent job, soldier. Take a break everyone. You've all earned it."

Vasquez would've asked to shake Shepard's hand, but he was too goddamn tired to ask. So he slumped down onto the closest wall he could find before setting away to eating an MRE. The others scattered about to look around the wreckage while a group of soldiers lined up for a picture with a dead geth at their feet.

"Commander! Do us the honors!" A soldier called out by shaking his camera. John, with a shrug and smile, stood in the middle of the group and posed for the picture.

Tali watched from the sidelines and shook her head. For being in the middle of a recent combat zone, they all seemed pretty okay about it.

After the picture was over with, John came up to her and uncapped his canteen before downing its contents.

"You okay, Tali?"

"Good actually." She said simply, "Still alive."

John grinned at her. "Want to help me take a look around?"

"Would love to."

John pointed to a headless geth before approaching it.

"First time I've ever gotten to see one up so close." John said as he leaned down to touch it, "They're pretty intimidating to look at."

"Not without a head they aren't." She said with a snort.

"Very true." He agreed before standing back up to move on to some of the other stuff.

Tali followed.

"So, you never told me how the hell you managed to sneak up on a geth and take its hard drive back before we met." John asked randomly as they enter a hallway and walk down its length.

"It's tricky. And a lot of it has to do with luck." She explained as they walked.

"Luck would be putting it mildly, Tali."

She didn't answer.

"Tali?" He turned around and saw her face to face with what had to be a Geth computer.

"What the hell is that?" John asked as he came up from behind her.

Her hands started digging through her pockets for an OSD.

"Tali? What are you freaking out about?"

Tali whirled on him and pointed at the hub. "Don't you see? This computer is still connected to the lace!"

"Lace? What?"

"Shepard... I don't have time to explain." She said as she felt for her pockets again.

"Here." He handed her one of his.

"Thank you."

"I've been getting the impression that this has something to do with your pilgrimage."

"You guessed right." She murmured between inserting the disk into a conveniently placed port. Data spilled across the screen in preparation for an upload.

John smiled sadly. "Look at that. Not even a month in, and you got what you needed."

Seeing as how she did everything she could, she turned back around to face him. "It's not like I'm just going to up and leave you."

"I know."

They both stood silently and watch the geth computer do its thing.

"Tali. Question."

"Yes?"

"So... how the hell does an OSD connect with that?"

"The geth probably take OSD's they find and study them." She explained, "And if you can take information off a memory source, you can put it on it too."

"Huh." John nodded. "Do you have any OSDs on you?"

Tali checked for the last of her pockets and shook her head. "I must've forgotten them on the Normandy... I don't know what I would've done if you weren't here."

"Wasting the chance of a lifetime, obviously." He joked.

She rolled her eyes.

"Look." John said as he pointed with his chin. The geth hub pinged and turned off.

"How much you get?"

She peered at the read out and smiled brightly. "Thirteen terabytes..."

"That's a decent amount."

A flash of migraine inducing light shimmered brightly before John and Tali.

"Holy **_fuck_**, Tali, that's bright; What did you do?!"

She didn't get to answer.

"_Echoed brilliance and a flickered blaze… those lost to us now have been gone forever…" The blazing fire of light said in a deep and howling voice. _

John and Tali take several steps backward with their hands up to protect their eyes.

For some reason, Tali's visor wasn't polarizing fast enough!

"_Time is reminiscent... sacrifices made pointless by those who inherit them…"_

"What the hell is going on?" A soldier shouted from down the hallway.

"Is this some kind of sick ass joke?" Another yelled.

Garrus reared the corner, caught wind of the bright light, and stopped dead in his tracks.

"Spirits..."

The turian's eyes were wide and his frown long.

Tali visor finally darkened enough for her to make out the details of a naked quarian woman.

"_Futile threats erupting through shoals of ash and ice… souls dispersed into the quaking light of dawn."_

Then the light disappeared and the three were left in stunned silence.

"What the living hell..." John's frown couldn't have gotten any deeper, "Tali. What was that?"

"I... I don't know..." She said in a petrified whisper, "I have no idea..."

* * *

><p>"And that how I got it. 13 terabytes."<p>

"Tali…" His rasp made Tali sit up straight, "Your superior had to lend you a piece of equipment you should have had readily available on your person. I've taught you _better_."

"Dad..."

He stood up and shook his head.

"In a way... Commander Shepard completed the pilgrimage for you."

"Wha... _what_?" She bolted upright from her seat and stared dumbly at him. "_Dad!_"

Rael made his way to the door. "Good-bye, Tali. I bid you farewell."

Her hands and feet went numb when the door closed behind him.

"You... You _fucking_ **_bastard_**..." She choked through a cry, "You. _Bastard_."

A thousands pounds worth of agony fell on her shoulders and her knees trembled.

She fell back on the sofa and stared emptily at the window and the ships that would pass by it's small space.

Minutes passed.

"John..." She whispered through her mind numbing tears.


	7. Mining Escape

**|CHAPTER 6|**

**|2/10/2184|**

**|Location: Migrant Fleet: / System: Hades Gamma: / Ship's Pending Depletion of Charge Saturation. Nearly complete.|**

* * *

><p>"Ma'am… your shift is over with." Juel'Kaan Vas Neema lightly tapped on Tali's shoulder to shake her out of the 'work-trance' she'd usually inundate herself with.<p>

Shaken out of her reverie, she replied. "Oh. Okay... Just another round check and I'll go."

"One last thing: Admiral Raan said she had something for you when I came across her in the lower decks... said she left it in your room." He thumbed behind him toward the door.

Her gaze finally peeled away from the crummy looking screen to Juel.

"Really? She's here? Why didn't she come here to meet me instead?"

"Said she gave up on trying to look for you." He answered.

"Oh... well... thank's Juel. I guess it's a good time to leave anyways." She waived him good bye and made way for the exit.

"Take care, ma'am."

Her workstation left behind, she made her way through the Neema's hallways until she slid down the ladder to the living quarters.

When she approached her room, she yanked the curtains aside, and willed herself to smile.

"...Oh. I didn't expect _you_ to be the thing you left in my room." Tali said in surprise.

"Well, I wanted to surprise you." Shala's murmured quietly when she stood to hug Tali.

"Well, I'm here. What do you want to give me?" Tali asked as they separated.

"Not give," Shala said as she rose her hand, "talk."

Tali gave her a quirked brow.

"Oh. What do you want to talk about?"

Shala'Raan's gaze faltered when she began to waltz around the room in a slow and inconsistent pace.

Tali, meanwhile, decided it be best to sit on her cot.

"We didn't have much time to talk at your after party. I'm sure your travels have left you with plenty of stories worth telling..."

Shala didn't want to place any names that could potentially push the wrong buttons.

Tali's head leaned back on the wall behind her.

"My adventure was long... dangerous... _traumatizing... _saved the galaxy... blew up some Geth… fell in love…"

Shala's head had tilted to an odd angle at the last part, her arms working up in an attempt to fiddle with her veil.

Tali found the silence as an invitation to continue.

"I fell in love with him, Raan… I fell in love with a man who's _dead_ now." Tali's covered her face and shook her head. "I could have saved him… he… just _wouldn't_ listen to me..."

Shala knew exactly who she was referring to.

John Shepard.

She fell into place next to Tali and put an arm around her shoulder. "…I know what I'll say won't measure to the grief you feel Tali... but... with time—"

Tali shot out from her bed and left Shala to stare awkwardly at her.

"I don't want it to _fade!"_ The younger quarian snapped, "As _crazy_ as it sounds!"

Shala took a deep breath. "What happened Tali?"

Her hands intertwined tightly together. "We were rescued from being stranded on this planet." She started finally, "He promised me... that we would speak again after it was all over..." She explained as her head dipped low, "I didn't even get to say good-bye."

For the briefest of seconds, Tali felt something cold touch her dainty little heart.

And Shala was at a total loss for words.

A lot of people who went out on pilgrimage came back a different person.

Some for the better.

A lot for the worse.

Tali on the other hand didn't just come back a different person.

She came back broken.

Defeated.

Destroyed.

She came back to the Neema and had this look in her eye that said: _'I. give. up.'_

Shala curbed the urge to get up and run. The aura around Tali could make her heart turn to frozen stone.

And freeze Shala's heart to stone it did.

She'd be lying if she said it didn't hurt.

The old admiral, ever so carefully, placed both her hands on Tali's shoulders and whispered near her ear.

"You need rest, Tali... more rest than your soul could ever afford."

"Keelah Se'lai." Tali answered out of habit, "Thanks. For coming by... To talk."

"Think nothing of it."

* * *

><p><strong>|Chapter 7|<strong>

**|3/12/2183|**

**|Location: Migrant Fleet: / System: Artemis Tau: / Strip mining production currently underway.|**

* * *

><p>Juel slipped off the boulder and kneed a rock. "FAK." He rubbed his knee and, for good measure, kicked away the offending rock until it lay meters away from him.<p>

"_Shit._ That **_really_ **hurt."

"I'm getting used to it too." She murmured as she finally offered a hand to help him up.

"Yeah... I don't know. I'm starting to not like the trend." He took the hand and carefully climbed the alcove.

_Trend. _She gave her new steel-toed boots another long look.

It was odd, really.

A lot of the time, Tali had dreamed of having hands and feet like a human. Wearing these had given that impression. Though her shins were a dead giveaway. As with missing two fingers on each hand.

It was a little clunky at first, wearing these new shoes.

But it made sense.

Having been prone to stubbing her elongated toes (fairly often), she finally decided it was time for an upgrade.

She was surprised to realize they felt exactly like her old ones. Though it made it a lot harder for her to bend her toes. As did Juel, it seemed.

When the resources allowed them, thousands of quarians had abandoned their old boots for the new ones. Even the Migrant Fleet marines had made recommendations to their soldiers (at the cost of superior agility, of course).

"It makes us look kinda human… doesn't it?" Juel's voice echoed behind her in the cave.

"I was thinking the exact same thing." She agreed before awkwardly trying to stare at the bottom of her sole.

"We need to get these samples back to the mining preliminaries. They'll like the stuff we've found for them." Juel called out as he placed his set of samples into his pack.

"Agreed." Tali remarked before turning on his heel to climb out of the cave. Juel followed closely behind her.

"Glad you let me tag along. I needed to get ground-side least I grow insane." She said as her hand gently caressed the side of a cave wall.

"I'm actually surprised Tali… you coming down here to do this… with being cooped up in the lab nearly 13 hours every work cycle, you make it out to be as if you never want to leave. I've got to dump the garbage twice a day from the amount of paste packets you toss in the bin."

"Right… but the data I brought back isn't going to crack itself... I'm close to a breakthrough—" She was interrupted when he turned around to face her, his hands already crossing his chest.

"You've been saying that for the past _three_ weeks." He inched closer to her with a playful step. "What have you really been doing?"

Soon enough, her own arms crossed her breasts and mimicked his posture.

"Playing video games… and beating your score on **_Verge of Components: Acclimation 2_**."

Juel sat quietly for a few seconds before stuttering surprisingly: "…is your name ZRah335?"

She answered his question by nodding.

He guffawed and bobbed his head slowly.

"You've _got_ to be kidding me. That was you? You beat the level I never could? The last fight? How'd you... what was the ship's name? Or drive core? I can never beat that race."

"I can't tell you that." She muttered. She continued again, moving past Juel.

"Come on. Don't leave me hanging like that." He caught up to her with a slight jog. "Just tell me. It was just a frigate for Keelah's sake."

"You _really_ want to know?" She mocked with a dreary voice, "It was the Internal Emission Sink System. It was called the Tantalus Drive Core, housed within an Alliance Frigate Called the SSV Normandy. Yes…and it was _twice_ the size of any average Core. "

"Tali… I—"

"Next time, when I say I _can't_ tell you that—" She took a step closer, planting her feet in stance as if she were to shoot a rifle. "—Shut. Up."

Tali could see Juel's eyes narrow into daggered slits.

"I understand what you've been through. _Really_. I have." He took one single step closer and nearly forced the woman to take a step back, "But I _refuse_ to stand by and watch you dig a hole you'll never come out of. There's a giant mountain that needs climbing, ma'am... and it isn't going _anywhere_ until it's behind you."

He took the rope they had used to climb down into the cave from the surface hours ago. "Sorry for trying." He climbed up and out of cave, leaving her alone.

Her eyes, having watered from Juel's 'tough-love' (as John would have called it), finally squeeze shut. His short and hard lecture had hit her hard.

Before she could slip further into thinking about how much a dick she was being, her omni-tool made a soft chime.

'1 unread email(s)' Tali read.

* * *

><p><em>From: Liara<em>

_Subject: It's from Garrus too_.

_We can't tell you everything Tali; if only you were here in person. It would be a lot easier. But we're on a mission, Tali. An important one. Just wanted to let you know. Don't worry about us._

_Maybe someday we will see each other again._

—_Garrus & Liara  
><em>

* * *

><p>"What are you two up too?" She said before grabbing the rope that would bring her to the surface.<p>

She shook her head, filed away the thought, and started to climb.

* * *

><p><strong>An hour later...<strong>

Juel stood at the top of a rock and watched the mountainous landscape below. He checked his altimeter and saw their elevation topping 8,000 feet.

Next to him, Tali joined and wrapped her arms tightly around her chest to watch the rising bodies of smoke spreading out across the landscape.

A span of five minutes passed, and soon enough, the number of flares increased tenfold.

"The colors… what do they mean?" Tali asked.

"Each color means a different mineral we've found." Juel explained.

"I've never been on an excavation. It's… interesting." She turned her gaze to the Flare they'd ignited themselves earlier.

"I'm guessing our blue flare says we've found Platinum?" She said before thumbing the smoke.

"Exactly, so that way we can bring in the right equipment for mining."

"I see." She looked up to the sky.

The entire Migrant fleet had managed to dot the heavens as the stars would in a lightless night. Their numbers spanned across the horizon in numbers that one could never count.

"About Earlier… I'm sorry." She murmured.

"You've apologized a hundred times... I know what your going through if that gives you any consolation." He turned to face her and straightened up, "I'm sorry... I know _exactly_ what it's like to have someone ripped away from your life."

She said nothing and kept staring up at nothingness.

"Tali..." He said quietly to get her attention.

There was a moment of silence between them when she faced him.

"...You'll never feel the same way again." He murmured.

* * *

><p><strong>|A Day Later...|<strong>

**|Date: 3/13/2184|**

**|Location: Migrant Fleet: / System: Artemis Tau: / Strip mining production currently in progress.|**

* * *

><p>A neat row of tents and pre-fab units had been constructed as a campground for the miners. Around the camp, a cluster of civilian militiamen patrolled the perimeter to maintain order and safety.<p>

Two casualties had been reported, both non-fatal.

"You see the roster, ma'am? Same shift and job as yesterday." Juel slithered through their tent's entrance, it's space occupied with 8 other quarians.

"Is that so?" She was kneeling on the side of her bunk, mulling through her Omni-tool as Juel spoke to her.

"Yup." He hoisted a pack around his shoulder before holstering his sidearm. "Oh. They're 'eve been sightings of some kind of huge-as-hell animal around here. Not sure if it's dangerous, but, I'd rather make sure we're armed anyways." His palm carefully rest upon the pistol's grip.

"I'm assuming you brought your shotgun?" His hand rose to point at her small parcel.

"Of course." Her Omni-tool dimmed when she reached for the worn pouch she always used for travel. She wrapped her grip around the familiar groove of her shotgun before brandishing it out in front of him.

"Nice." He muttered. She holstered her shotgun at the small of her back.

"Well, ready when you are, Juel."

"Right. I've got three places I've planned on looking around, ma'am. It's going to take us all day to get there, but the images and readings look promising."

"Juel." The man's gaze wandered from his Omni-tool to look at Tali.

"You can just call me Tali."

Juel chuckled and nodded.

"Okay, Tali. Shall we?" He finished by stepping at the foot of the tent, his arm extending outwards to move the tarp to reveal the campground's bustling activity.

"Onward!" She exclaimed through a small smile. They both walk out and head toward the camp's exit.

"Here. I've forwarded you our trip markers." He said as he pulled up his own tool.

"What do you think is down there?"

"Palladium and… iridium." He stuttered as he looked over the logistics.

"I see…"

"Let's get to it then." They exit the camp and into the foliage where a trail had been made from stomping quarian feet.

Tali sighed and glanced back at the camp. "This is going to be a long day isn't it?"

"Oh yeah." Juel nodded.

* * *

><p>*Nyalas: Means the celebration of your return from pilgrimage.<p>

**Acrid Dynamics Miner Flares-Series 50 (ADMF-50)** [Pronounced 'addmifs' for short)- were developed as a cheap and highly visible source of communication for miners signaling ferrying vessels or VTOLs . The ADMF-50 Flares come equipped with micro eezo cores to help stabilize and concentrate flare emission to ensure quality means of communication is established.

**Nature's Galactic Preservation Act (N.G.P.A.) Notice:** Many forms of local fauna (Namely organisms no smaller than the typical insect of 8 cm [3gh, 4ijh, 6tta] or less) can become trapped in the small vortex caused by ADMF-50 operation. Please be wary of extended use. [Please refer to manual for worlds or locations that exclude ADMF-50 flares]

**WARNING: EXERCISE CAUTION ON USE OF ADMF-50 FLARE. VIOLENT WILDLIFE ON SOME PLANETS (REFER TO MANUAL FOR REFERENCE OF PLANETS) CAN, UNDER CERTAIN CONDITIONS, BECOME ATTRACTED TO FLARE EMISSION. ENSURE THAT YOU ARE SAFE AND/OR ARMED. **

**Nature's Galactic Preservation Act (N.G.P.A.) Notice: ** Unnecessary discharge of firearms against local fauna is illegal. Please exercise good will when handling or discharging firearms.


	8. Propositions

**|Bonus Chapter|**

**-Date: 3/13/2184-**

**-Location: Unknown-**

* * *

><p>"It's a suggestion, Mr. Vakarian. There are no conditions. Bring Shepard to me, and he'll walk again."<p>

Garrus shook his head and tried to gauge a reaction out of the enigmatic man.

The lack of response from either of his guests allowed The Illusive Man to continue.

"Doctor T'Soni by now has already made a decision, I assume?" He turned to face the other holo of Liara.

She said nothing.

"Liara… this is _Cerberus_ we are talking about here." Garrus said, "Shepard… _John_, wouldn't want this. It'd be stabbing him in the back for _everything_ we've stood for."

The Illusive Man stared on and took a drag out of his cigarette with the barest hint of a smirk on his face.

He found it amusing honestly, watching them debate, or more accurately, have the turian lecture the asari on the trivials of ethics and morality.

All of it at the expense of the bigger picture.

"And you _know_ it's true, Liara. The man's been _spying _on us. Why else would he contact us on such short notice after the fact?"

Liara remained silent and it was beginning to infuriate him.

Garrus knew all too well what she was doing; stalling herself from choosing what looked to be an inevitability at this point.

His gaze fell to the floor for a moment before glaring at The Illusive Man.

"How would you even get around to resurrecting him?" Garrus asked.

"Vakarian. Your distrust isn't misplaced. I understand that our relationship has been reasonably checkered. I wouldn't invest a large portion of my resources for his body to be held at ransom. For as wicked as I seem to be, you of all people know that I don't folly with inconsequential propositions."

Garrus turned back to Liara.

"Have you made your mind yet?" He murmured quietly.

She still said nothing. Garrus lay his small eyes back at the human.

"Do you really think you can do this?" His expression changed from anger to aspiration, "Is it even possible?"

"I will be forthcoming with both of you. It will not be easy. The investment I'm prepared to make to rehabilitate the Commander will be difficult—but not impossible. You have my word."

"You're word is hardly convincing." Garrus remarked assertively.

"Fair enough."

"We'll do it. We'll bring Shepard to you." Liara said, her eyes never leaving the floor.

This time it was Garrus' turn to say nothing.

"There is no 'we' Liara. You're going to have to do this alone." His stare lingered a little longer to Liara before leaving the hologram and Liara alone.

The Illusive Man stared quietly for a moment before turning his attention to the asari.

"We'll provide you with everything you need. I suggest you link up with a drell named Feron located on Omega. He'll help you."

"And what would a drell have any interest in helping me capture Shepard's body?" her hands crossed her chest as she continued to listen.

"Feron worked for the Shadow broker. And we have compelling evidence that not only is the Shadow Broker interested in seizing his body, but the Collector's as well. They may be working in tandem."

Liara gulped. "—and how do we know that Feron isn't going to betray us?" Liara asked. The Illusive man's simple smile is scripted and calm.

"When Feron heard that the Shadow Broker was dealing with the Collector's, He'd opted out to join us." He said simply, "That and his life depends upon it."

* * *

><p><strong>LOGIN: Tali'Zorah vas Neema nar Rayya<strong>

**PASSWORD: *************

**-Log 1-**

**-Date: 3/14/2184-**

* * *

><p><em>I've made this stupid decision to write down how I feel. John said he did it sometimes. Said it helped him.<em>

_...Maybe it can with me too. _

_Well. Where do I start._

_Spent three days with Juel'Kaan Vas Neema nar Gognimae searching for raw materials. We found some great stuff. The planet's nice. Wish I could spend more of my time here, actually. _

_Though the work is getting repetitive. Just like everything else. _

_I hate it. _

_If it gets too easy? I think of you, John. _

_I can not let you go. _

_Thinking back, I wished I'd grabbed myself by the 'balls' (as joker would say probably) and just admit how I've felt earlier. It was obvious we had the hots for each other months beforehand. _

_Ha. _

_Those were the days, weren't they?_

_You were the only thing that kept me going those final hours though. When we were stranded on that shit planet. We could've died there. We should have, actually._

_ In spite of that, I held my breath up until the end. _

_Even with the small amount of time we spent, it was worth every second. Though you've spared me no less heartache after you died. _

_I miss you. _

_So. Much._

_Though, for what it's worth, I can thank you anyways. _

_Thank you John._

_For everything. _

_End log._

_-End of record-_


	9. Stak-Aid-4

_**|Date: 3/16/2184|**_

_**|Location: Migrant Fleet: / System: Artemis Tau: / Strip mining currently in progress.|**_

* * *

><p>Tali was alone for the moment.<p>

So she spent the free time the best way she could.

By lying down and bouncing her crossed legs in step with the music playing from her omni-tool.

And since there wasn't anything interesting to look at, she stared blankly at the tent's tarp ceiling, and watched the gusts of wind that would flow gracefully against it.

She stared dumbly at that little spot on the ceiling, and for once, hadn't had a single thought pass through her troubled mind.

Nothing.

Zip.

Zero.

And Tali was fine with that.

She didn't try and count the time that would pass by.

That would ruin it.

So she listened to the simple beats and the stringed instruments... the woodwinds and brassy notes that would play delicately into her ears.

Eventually, she heard some footsteps and laughing right outside the tent.

"—me up and, Keelah, let me tell you, he almost had me right there, Hiva. Damn." Came Juel's muffled voice on the other side of the tarp wall.

"Juel, I'd love to hear more, but Olasie and Prazza told me their patrol needs help with packing some stuff up to their ship." Tali heard Hiva say to Juel.

"Speaking of that, when are we going?" Juel asked.

Hiva sighed, "Our team doesn't leave for another four hours."

"Four hours? Well..."

"Don't complain. Team six and eight don't leave 'til tomorrow."

"Oh."

"See you in four hours, Juel."

"Bye Hiva."

Juel moved the tarp covering aside and entered the tent.

"Oh, Tali. Hey."

"Hey." Tali said simply.

Juel went over to his cot, stuffed his bag of belongings under it, and sat down. "So. That's it... we're done. The ship's coming up to taxi people back to the Neema later today. Free time until then."

He picked up the book sitting on his pillow. "So what do you think? Of mining, I mean."

"Nothing to it." Tali said.

Juel guffawed. "Nothing to it. Right."

"Yup."

"Did you hear me and Hiva?"

"Four more hours until we get to go home." She answered with a nod.

"Any ideas then to occupy our time?"

"Not a clue." She said.

Juel shrugged and lay down on his own bed before opening up his paper book.

A minute passed by and neither of them say anything.

Then an idea suddenly hit her.

She'd forgotten all about the stuff she'd brought in her bag.

With a light smile, she got up from her bed to the tent's flapping door.

Satisfied that their wasn't anyone near, she went back to her cot and reached for the satchel under it.

"Uh. What are you doing?" Juel gave Tali a bewildered look.

"So. Abazon had some great stuff on sale for Stak-Aids." She explained as she slipped two little parcels of vacuumed sealed meals into her hand, "Dextro-hamburger with gravy and noodles."

She tossed one to him and he caught it.

"Tali... here?" He skimmed over the label, "I'd _love_ to... but the others are gonna _tackle_ us."

"Oh, please."

His fingers felt the morsels of meat sitting inside the pouch. "But they'll _know_."

"Juel, why are you complaining?" She snorted, "I didn't get it for you just for you to get second thoughts. _Eat it_."

"Pfft. Fine. But it's on you if the others walk in here and find out."

They both unwrap their tube, puncture the pouch, and slurp in a mouthful.

"_Whoah_. God **_damn _**this is good." Juel slurred.

While Tali did agree, her jaw already felt sore from chewing.

"Jaw's aching already..." She gobbed.

"Same." He said as he scrounged for another morsel.

"Juel..." Tali whispered before she faced him, "Thanks. For being my friend." She held her pouch of what pretty much amounted to hamburger helper while she fumbled with her veil, "I don't know how anyone else could deal with me."

He stopped eating and set the pouch down into his lap. "That's a little backwards wouldn't you think?"

"What?"

He hunched over when he realized she really didn't know what he meant.

"You hand me a thirty five credit meal, and thank _me_ for being the good friend? What?"

"It's an apology for being an asshole, Juel." She smacked sarcastically.

"Ass... hole? That's nasty. Some more human talk, right?"

For the first time since John's death, she laughed.

* * *

><p><strong>-One Day Later.<strong>

"Hey Shala." Tali greeted simply as she typed away something on her computer, "You need something?"

"Well... I was just calling to see how you're fairing."

Tali sighed inwardly. As much as it made Tali happy to know she had someone that cared, it didn't help very much to be reminded, even remotely, of her mood and the reason behind it.

"I'm okay, auntie. Really."

Shala, obviously, was not convinced.

The tone Tali used alone could tell Shala a million things. But she supposed it was best if she didn't push the issue any further than necessary. Tali wasn't known for being antsy, but, in retrospect, nagging about the sensitivities of her past probably wasn't a great idea either. The wounds were still fresh, and Tali's behavior reflected as much.

"So... Han got your request, Tali..." Shala said quietly, gazing at Tali's image through her tablet.

Tali stopped doing whatever it was she was doing and faced the webcam.

"And?"

Shala sighed. "It went through."

"Good. That's good."

"You _absolutely_ sure you want to do this?"

"Yes, Shala. I do."

"...There isn't anything else you want to talk about?"

Tali's head hung low and her gaze fell to the floor.

"I'd also like for Juel'Kaan to be assigned to the Neema's special tasks unit."

"Of course Tali. Anything for you... As a matter of fact, I'm sure Han's already forwarded the group their next assignment."

"Thank you... I have to go now, auntie. I'll talk to you later."

Before the admiral could even offer her own good-bye, Tali hung up the call.

She broke her gaze from the empty screen to the pen in her hand before swallowing.

"...Tali." Shala murmured, "...My dear... What's happened to you."

* * *

><p><strong>Moments Later...<strong>

The first thing Tali did when she entered her lab was fidget anxiously.

When she'd caught Juel already busily soldering away on some project, her hands turned into a vice.

"Juel. Hey."

He looked up from his work for one moment. "Hey, Tali."

"I've, uh... asked that you be assigned to the Neema's marine detachment."

Then she mollified herself in a sputtered hurry. "I mean... you don't _have _to—"

Juel put down his soldering iron and whirled around in his stool.

"Whoah. _What_?"

And there she realized, she'd just put him on the spot and signed him up for something she didn't even tell him about.

"Oh _keelah_. I screwed up."

"I'm in the marines again? What?"

"No, no, not exactly..." Tali said as she sat down in a frustrated heap, "I wanted to join Admiral Han's special tasks unit... and... asked that you be a part of it."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well..." He gave the wall a long sideway's glance, "That's, uh... _definitely_ something you talk to me about first."

"Damnit, I can't believe I did that to you." She facepalmed, "I've just... had a lot on my mind lately.

"It's... It's understandable."

"I can go back and tell them to take you out."

"Look, I _guess_ it's okay I join. But... what about our lab?"

She gave the strewn pieces of geth bits on the table a quick look.

"We'll only be gone, at most, for weeks at a time. We'll just pick up from where we left off when we come back."

"...You _sure_ you wanna do this?" He sighed, "I've heard Admiral Han run's his group pretty hard sometimes."

"It'll be like a vacation." She offered.

His scoff reminded her of Garrus.

"A vacation." He pat the imaginary dust off his arms, "You've got a weird idea of what vacation is."

"You know what I mean."

"Just... forward me the details, Tali." He stood up and unplugged the iron, "I... I need to think."

"I'm sorry." She repeated sadly.

He stepped up to the exit and looked back to her with a sad smile. "Just... get me another one of them hamburger things, and we'll call it even."

"Juel..."

He left before he could hear her.

* * *

><p><em>Codex Entry:<em>

_* Solid food consumption-_

_Quarians, in most cases, eat while they have their suits and masks on. There are 2 ways for consuming Animal Protein. A diluted form that has been blended into a pasty like material similar to that of their Nutrient Meal (Or Nutrient Meal-10 or NM-10 for short). The other form is solid meat (Or Solid Meal-10 or SM-10 for short) contained in a dual layered sealed packet, the vacuum space containing sterilizing gel in the event that the quarian must eat the food despite a possible puncture of the packet. The sterilizing gel is edible, but sour and pungent (according to Quarian users). Solid food consumption uses different utensils, in which the 'hose' of sorts is wider to fit the morsels of meat. These Special tubes (Which are called StaK-Aid-4) are in a dual-layered vacuum sealed packet. The hose (with puncture seals at each end to lower the chance of possible infection) is held within. For added protection, the inner lining of the tube can contain a dried layer of sterilizing gel._

_Quarians can tell the difference between a typical food utensil (Basic Quarian Oral Paste-Aid or OP-Aid) and a StaK-Aid-4 utensil, made specifically for solid food consumption. Suit up and Enjoy!_

_Diagram of actual StaK-Aid-4 Utensil Packet:_

* * *

><p><em><strong>StaK-Aid-4 UTENSIL PACKET<strong>_

_**Held within:**_

_-Puncture Sealed Connector Duct_

_-SudMint Teeth Cleaner_

_-Antibiotic Adapter_

_**WARNING: IF PUNCTURE SEAL IS BROKEN IN ANY WAY SHAPE**_

_**OR FORM OR PRIOR TO USE, ****DO ****NOT ****USE**. **INNER**_

_**LINING OF TUBE CONTAINS EMBUTEROLIN GEL.**_

_**CHECK ENTIRE SEAL BEFORE CONSUMPTION**_

_**DO NOT USE IF CONTAMINATED BY OUTSIDE**_

_**SUBSTANCE. IF PACKET IS INFECTED, DEATH CAN**_

_**OCCUR IF USED. ADVISE EXTREME CAUTION.**_

_**Instructions:**_

_-Peel and remove packet top at perforated line._

_-Hold Packet Firmly with Both Hands._

_-Open Secondary bag to reveal Utensil._

_-Connect -BOTTOM- piece of Hosing to SM-10 meal ONLY. *Puncture quickly._

_-Connect -TOP- Piece of Hosing to Helmet Food Port Adapter. (Port Design AeGhore-67L Recommended)_

_-Enjoy Consumption!_


	10. Free Trouble

**|Date: 3/20/2184|**

**|Location: Gemini Sigma: / System: / PODA-D7-77: / Planet: PODA-S2|**

* * *

><p>"You've brought enough firepower to <em>level<em> a city. Where if we left it, I could have had more room for a more _proper_ lab." Niamo'Keena vas Mulia reiterated her rant for the umpteenth time that day.

By now, most had ignored her. But Ka'Reeger had about enough of it.

"We do _not_ have enough firepower to 'level a city'. I did, however, bring enough firepower to properly equip my marines for _your_ protection. I'd suggest you stop complaining; there's nothing you can do about it."

"Barbarians. _All_ of you."

Kal huffed inwardly before deciding on going over the itinerary again.

"Let me be clear, ladies, gentlemen… _marines_… We move in, set up camp, get the samples, get out. Everyone brings a partner. Do not go _anywhere_ without informing your superior. Keep your transponders on, and remember your training. Local fauna here suggests that we got some meat eating animals here. If they get suspicious, fire warning shots. If they look aggressive, don't hesitate; shoot to kill. Clear?"

"Clear." 30 voices were heard.

"Attention hands, we're entering the atmosphere."

The ship started jostling violently as if it were ready to rip apart. After thirty seconds of sharing worried stares, one of the men in the back worked up enough courage to voice his concern.

"Why the hell is the ride so damned shaky? Are we gonna die?"

"Milly's 250 years old. What the hell did you think it's going to do? M.E. Suspension yields were luxurious back then, you fool!" The pilot laughed loudly as they descended. "We got about another minute of this! Keep your back bent!"

When the ship jostled for the final time, its landing gear had touched ground.

Niamo was the first out of her seat.

"We test the local flora and capture any insect or animal, dead or alive; preferably alive, to me. Plant life, especially seeds, fruits, and vegetables are a plus." Dr. Keena announced before pressing her feet to open her foot locker, "The more my team and I know, the sooner we can go back home. Let's set up camp."

"You heard the lady, gear up!"

* * *

><p>The group huddled closely together as they gape at the local landscape.<p>

The first thing Tali noticed when they stepped out into the open pasture was how short the grass was.

To her left was a river separating them from large forest of trees, whose canopy stretched nearly a hundred feet above them. The ground, unlike the dry-green trees, was barren of any type of plant life, save for the scattered streams of light that happened to touch the forest floor.

Opposite that stood rocks that dwarfed the size of their ship four times over.

Their landing zone couldn't have gotten any better. The ambiance and cozy landscape was definitely a good piece of eye-candy.

"Beautiful isn't it?" One of the scientists sighed.

"Deadly is more like it." A marine remarked.

"Enough chit chat, I want a perimeter set. The rest of you, set up camp, I want the ship in the center. It's where we all sleep. Clear?"

"Crystal." The team responded to the team leader. Kal clapped his hands together.

"Good, let's get a move on shall we?"

* * *

><p><strong>Hours Later...<strong>

"Could you ever imagine living here...?" Juel spoke out loud to start a conversation as they both walk through the forest.

"Nope..." She said after a moment. "I don't think I could, actually."

"I wonder what's its like. To just... strut around naked."

She gave him an odd look and stopped dead in her tracks.

"_Keelah_ Tali, I meant without our suits." He stammered awkwardly.

She nudged his shoulder. "I know, I was just joking... Though I have to tell you from experience... it's _amazing_."

It was Juel's turn to stop and face her. "You've actually been suitless outside?"

"Just the mask, actually." She said in a smug sounding tone.

"Wow. You're such a bad-ass." He said sarcastically before giving her a mirthful smirk.

She rolled her eyes and knelt down next to a small flower.

"What's it like?" He asked.

After inspecting the delicate petals, she looked up and tried to find the right words to describe it. Finding none, she reached for the flower and carefully stuffed it into a jar.

"I can't explain it. You'd have to experience it for yourself."

"Wow... and you didn't die either..."

"I was sick afterwards... it was a mild reaction. It helped that it was cold and windy."

"What I'd do to get some of that..." He murmured.

"Maybe someday, Juel."

"Maybe someday..." He repeated.

"I've been wondering Juel... what brought you to the Neema?"

Juel let out a long drawn sigh. "I was afraid you were going to ask that sooner or later... but I guess it's fair you know. I know a lot about you... and I suppose you should know more about me too."

She nodded silently.

They resumed their slow and aimless hike deeper into the forest.

"You know what the _Neema_ actually means, right? What it stands for?"

"Remember thy past with reverent eyes; we _must_ carry on." She murmured the verse from memory.

"Right... that's exactly what it means..." He stepped over a dead log and made sure Tali did too. "Five years ago, uh, I was in the marines. Pre-pilgrimage stuff."

Juel took a giant breath and continued.

"Well... one of my missions went to shit." His voice fell into a shrill whisper. It became apparent that Juel never touched on the subject. "I... I bonded, you know? She was beautiful Tali... just... _gorgeous_... Her name was, uh, Samah'Meyann nar Gognimae." He stammered and Tali could see his eyes had closed, "She and I were in the same unit, actually. We worked together. It was the best. Did everything with each other."

* * *

><p><strong>|Approx. Five years ago|<strong>

**|Location:Capital Class Cruiser: _Gognimae_.|**

**/:En-route to defense facility for rearmament as per Admiral Han'Gerrel's Orders:\**

* * *

><p>Juel marched hurriedly down a hallway with his squad.<p>

Minutes ago, where he was enjoying a meal with the company of his friends, an announcement came over the PA from the captain himself alerting the crew that a fleet of ships were on a direct intercept course toward the _Gognimae_.

Ordinarily that wouldn't have been a problem... but the _Gognimae_ was on its way back to the flotilla for resupply.

Which meant her guns were empty. It was a _terrible_ coincidence actually. Heavy Fleet protocol never allowed ships to stretch past the point of needing resupply as critical as this. But their mission had been equally as critical, if not more so, to keep them until their last legs.

Topping that, her escorts didn't have the capability to take on three frigates and two corvettes.

And judging by the way the pirate ships flew, they knew that.

Juel and his team arrived at their objective:

One of seven docking cradles they were tasked with defending.

"You know how this works. If we get overrun here, we withdraw to our second line of defense. You remember all six, correct?" Sergeant Kas'rie lectured as if it were just a simulation.

"Affirmative." They answered.

"Good. And if you do manage to get lost, you head to the where our militia is at to protect the captain and engineering crew. Copy?"

"Affirmative." They all repeated.

"If these deck stains want _our_ ship... they're gonna have to pay a _very_ hefty sales tax." He studied the bay floor for a small moment. "Adda. Chasuk. Take the crew serve weapon with you and get up on the ledge above us."

"Right away!"

"The rest of us are gonna stay here and hold them down to keep them from moving."

Juel and his other half, Samah, along with Kann, nodded.

"Yes, Sergeant."

"Assume your standard defensive positions. I want to keep them bottled for as long as possible. If we're lucky, we can take out this cradle and move on to help the others."

Samah grabbed Juel's hand and gave it a comforting squeeze.

"Stay safe, Juel."

"I will, hun... please do the same for me." They kissed visors and prepared their weapons.

The ship's PA turned on.

"This is the Captain speaking. The enemy is on final approach. Remember your training everyone, we have faith in you. We have about 30 seconds before they start boarding. Prepare. Keelah'Selai."

"Stand ready, marines!" Sergeant Kas yelled.

"STAND READY." They screamed back in unison.

Six weapons train on the docking cradle's only airlock at the bay's far side.

Juel slowed his breathing and glanced at Samah.

He prayed to the ancestors that she stay safe.

They heard a ship latch on to the _Gognimae_'s dock.

Juel's grip tightened on his weapon.

He could hear dozens of foot steps on the other side of the door.

"Keelah... I can hear them." Kann hissed.

"Shhh." Sweat beaded across Juel's brow.

"They're going to breech the door. As soon as that thing opens, you open fire!"

"Yes Sergeant!"

In an instant, the charges exploded and sent the door blasting off its hinges.

Sergeant Kas had to duck down to save his head from flying clean off.

Just as their leader ordered, they opened fire against the dozens of pirates forcing their way through. Whatever had consisted of the first landing party was killed seconds after stepping into the quarian ship. Juel was pretty sure none of the first wave had kinetic barriers.

They deserved nothing less than certain death for trying to invade their sovereign home.

Then it looked like the real threat came running through. Humans, batarians, salarians, and turians charging in with red gleaming armor.

Juel had actually smirked at the white skulls that plastered their chest plates.

They looked stupid, if he did say so himself.

When Juel was a recruit for basic, one of his first lessons was on repelling a ship's borders. And part of that lesson covered the effects of psychological warfare.

It had taught him that 'intimidating' sets of armor was nothing else but that.

Intimidating.

_Bullets_ went through intimidating. And when his instructor said that, it stuck with him ever since.

So when he fired a burst of fire from his rifle and saw a turian go down with a spray of blood, it only reaffirmed the statement.

"Sergeant!" Adda screamed as she fired her crew serve weapon, "There sending in a whole god damned company! Recommend tactical withdrawal!"

"Affirmative! Fall back! Suppressive fire! NOW!"

"Copy that! Move! GO! _NOW_." She pulled the charging handle back to eject her spent heat sink before holding down the trigger.

The group below ran up the stairs as fast as they could and sped past Chasuk and Adda until they were clear.

Adda's smoking barrel unleashed a steady staccato of tracer fire into a batarian who'd worked up the courage to stand and try and shoot back.

Terrible mistake.

The batarian's head turned to ribbons and flecks of bone went flying like confetti to shower his friends with.

"Eat this you rusty shit decked father fuckers! EAT IT!"

"Adda! Go! I'll be right behind you!" Chasuk barked.

Sparing no chance, she made her way to the exit to meet up with the others.

Before Chasuk could follow, a bullet whizzed right through his knee.

He fell down with a pained gasp and his rifle clattered on the floor.

When Adda turned around to try and help him, a bullet went through her thigh and paralyzed her left leg. She fell down in a crunched heap and screamed. Without skipping a beat, Chasuk yelled to her.

"Adda! Adda, _listen_ to me! You need to get up and help me. Come on. We have to hold them off a little longer." Chasuk cooed as best he could as blood seeped from his leg. She grabbed his hand and squeezed.

"...Okay... I can't feel my leg... help me up..."

He propped her at the door and did the same for himself. They nodded to each other before Chasuk called Sergeant Kas over the COM.

"Kas, you're going on have to go on without us. We're down... I'm sorry."

"Keelah'Selai, Chasuk. Send the bastards to the ancestors." Came his reply.

Chasuk handed Adda two of his small 'quick-burn' incendiary grenades.

"Adda, when they turn that corner you throw it at the oxygen tank. got it?" He gestured toward the liquid/oxygen fuel can at the stairwell.

"Okay..." Her grip on the grenade was strong even though her voice whimpered in pain.

The first pirate turned the corner and was cut down by Chasuk's Avenger. She threw the grenade and watched the chemical reaction spread and ignite anyone running up the stairs into a fiery blaze.

Their screams were almost worth losing a knee, Chasuk thought to himself.

When the fire stopped, more pirates started charging up the stairs.

This time, Adda was half a second too late in throwing the second one. Two pirates ran up and gave the dying quarian woman a stomach full of lead when the grenade clattered near their feet.

Chasuk, who never got the chance to see Adda go, killed one of the pirates and watched the second try and kick away the explosive...

...Only for the guy to get a face full of burning phosphorus.

Chasuk's smirk quickly ended when the pirate who tried to avoid the fiery blaze barreled through the foggy fire with his face charred and bleeding like a ripe fruit who'd just been stepped on. His hands landed on Chasuk's neck and squeezed as hard as he could.

Chasuk wasn't fazed in the least.

The stupid idiot didn't know the quarian had metal plates braced around his neck. Chasuk grabbed the man's head and pushed him over the catwalk down a story below. It was only a nine foot drop... but it put the point across not to ever do that again.

"Eat me you low life scum!" Chasuk screamed. He would have spit on the bastard if he could have. Chasuk reached for Adda's weapon.

He knew he wouldn't last much longer.

It was nothing but a mathematical certainty.

But Chasuk was a marine; mathematics be damned.

He awkwardly flopped onto his belly, extended the bipod, and waited for death to welcome him.

* * *

><p><strong>30 seconds ago...<strong>

When the incendiary grenade's fuse erupted into Captain Erer Jolak's face, he was **_pissed_**.

His armor protected him from most of the burns, thankfully.

Until now, he never regretted not wearing a helmet.

Now it felt like a terrible and _very_ naïve mistake. The pain was _monumental._

Which only served to make him angrier.

He barreled through the 'hot-as-shit' cloud of fire and saw the quarian sitting against the doorstep with his Avenger and dead friend.

Before the surprised quarian could react, the first instinctual thing Jolak did was wrap his armored fingers around the little-shit's neck.

He'd killed _a lot_ of people like that before. And it never ceased to be anything but effective.

Though it'd be the first time doing it to a quarian.

When he felt his hands wrap around the fucker's neck, he squeezed as hard as he could before forcing the quarian marine onto his back. Jolak suddenly realized the quarian's neck wasn't collapsing.

It should have been easier than this.

Jolak's head was suddenly engulfed by the quarian's six large stubby fingers that wrapped around the sides of his bleeding head. In a matter of what had to be a second, he was thrown to the side before being kicked right off the catwalk nine feet above the ground below.

"Oh fuck!"

When he hit the ground, he reeled in pain and squeezed his eyes shut before gritting his teeth.

_Fuck. Me. That **hurt.**_

When he was approached by his underlings, he waved them off to show that he was okay and told them they needed to continue the raid. They tossed him an ample supply of medi-gel and continued up the ramp.

He let out a long breath and let his head rest.

He'd admit it.

These guys were tough as shit.

He really didn't expect a fight as hard as this.

* * *

><p><strong>Present Time...<strong>

Juel eventually heard Chasuk and his crew serve weapon fall silent.

Juel hoped that their deaths had been quick. Chasuk and Adda certainly delivered.

They both managed to hold down that point for a good five minutes before the gun fire finally stopped.

Juel and Samah had to stop Kann from trying to run back to them multiple times.

Kas gave them a quick pep talk as he handed them more heat sinks.

"Keep your head's straight. We lost two of our men... but you can _not_ let that discourage you. We have over four hundred lives depending on us. We must keep fighting. Am I understood?"

"Yes sergeant!"

"That's _exactly_ what I want to hear. You know what to do! Get moving!"

A precious thirty seconds pass before Juel caught wind of movement.

"Contact! Contact!"

It seemed like the pirates were adapting to their defensive tactic. Every raider that ran through held their gun at a hip firing their guns to cover their advance.  
>There simply was too many of them. There had to be twenty or more pirates rushing through. This time, the quarian's didn't have the high ground. They were on an even playing field... and it'd only be a matter of time before they'd get overrun.<p>

Kann was the first to go down. He fired his sub-machine gun into some salarian before taking several slugs straight to the head. He was dead before he even hit the floor.

Before Juel could avenge his fallen friend, he was tackled and pinned to the floor...

As did Samah.

Sergeant Kas, however, continued fighting.

By now, the gun fire had ceased completely.

Kas took on two pirates in hand-to-hand combat and broke in both their faces before taking a third as a hostage and kissing the hot tip of his pistol against the man's temple.

"Put the gun down. Now." Captain Jolak bellowed with his bloody lips drooling.

Kas pressed harder into the man's temple and gave the captain that stood atop a crate a glare.

"You come to _my_ home... you kill _my_ people... and you want me to put the fucking gun _down?"_ Kas paused, "Go **_fuck_ **yourself."

Jolak unholstered his pistol and took aim at Kas.

The hostage whimpered. "Boss? Your aim still good?"

"Yes, Brad. My aim's still good." Jolak lied. His aim was certainly _not good_ after getting a thermo detonated load of blazing fire in the face. "I'm giving you one last chance, quarian. Put the gun down."

"I've got _everything_ to lose if I do." Kas replied.

Juel, having listened to the whole thing, screamed out. "Kas! run! Just run! You've _got_ stop them!"

Kas came to the same conclusion. If they all died here... the pirates would get straight access to the main hall... And if they did? They could outflank all the other teams throughout the ship.

It'd be a slaughter.

That couldn't happen.

"I'm sorry Juel... I'm so sorry... I know you understand..." Kas cried out to them.

Kas fired his sidearm through Brad's temple and hoped their kinetic barriers combined would be enough to let him escape to the next defensive point.

"Fuck!" Jolak watched Kas kill Brad and escape down to the corridor. He gave dead-Brad a frustrated sigh and shook his head.

"Sir... what should we do with our prisoners?"

He gave Juel and Samah a weary look.

"We can sell them to slavers. They pull any weird tricks up your sleeve, you kill them. Got it? Take your team, Bolin."

"Right, boss."

"The rest of you! Let's fucking go! We're wasting time!"

Jolak motioned forward with his hand, put his recently acquired helmet back on, and followed his men through the corridor Kas escaped in. The six tasked to bring Juel and Samah back aboard hoisted the two to their feet and slowly made their way back to their ship.

"So how many of my fucking friends do you think you killed?" The pirate kicked Juel's back hard enough to make him fall on his knees. He got back up and continued walking before giving Samah a long glance.

"Hopefully _all_ of them." Juel sneered, "What do you expect when you attack someone's home?"

"You know, I should just fucking kill you and take your girl. How'd you like that?" The pirate tried to kick him again. This time Juel whirled around and took the kick in the stomach.

But not before grabbing his ankle and twisting as hard as he could with all of his weight. They both crashed to the floor with the pirate's rifle clattering away from them both. A sick sounding pop came from the foot.

"Guys! Bolin! Help! _Fucking_ help!"

"Nah, man." Said the first pirate as he grabbed Samah forcefully by the arm to keep her from struggling. "I hope that quarian fucking kills you. I know you've been trying hook up with my girl back home. So. _fuck_. you." Bolin gave the broken ankled man the bird. _"Good luck, asshole."_ The other four pirates agreed and started walking away with Samah in hand.

The man with the broken foot started panicking. "Guys! _NO!_ Get off of me! I fucking surrender! _Please_!" Juel punched the asshole's face in until he stopped resisting. Then Juel took the bandit's knife from a sheath on his belt and ran after the five men in the hallway that had disappeared behind the corridor.

He'd have picked up the gun the guy had dropped... but he couldn't find it... and he didn't have the time.

As soon as he reared the corner, he was struck across the head with a baton and fell onto his back.

"Shit, you killed the son of a bitch _already?_ That was fast. Thanks, bud." Juel tried to get up but was delivered another crippling blow to the head. Soon after, Bolin pierced Juel's suit with tiny prods to taze him.

His body convulsed violently.

Samah screamed and fought harder against the men holding her down. "Stop it! _Please_! I beg of you!"

"Hurry the hell up up and put her in the ship, guys. Come on."

Bolin stopped tazing him And Juel groaned through gritted teeth.

"Samah..."

"Dude, Bolin, just kill the guy, alright? Let's go!" The pirate yelled as he pushed Samah to his other three friends.

"Nah... The guy did me a huge favor. I'm going to let him live. Maybe he can kill some others and get us a bigger cut of the ship. How does that sound, bud?" He pushed the baton harder into his chest and Juel wailed in pain.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Bolin? Jolak is going to find out?"

"Are _you_ fucking kidding me?" He mocked his friend, "They all look the same you dipshit."

Samah by now was screaming. "Stop! _Please!_ Stop, _just_ stop!"

"Guys, I'm not going to ask you again! Put her on the _fucking_ ship. _Now_." He turned to her. "It's fine, sweetheart, I'm not going to kill him. I swear." he gave off his best toothy smile.

"You _bastards_..." She was roughly pushed to the docking bay as she resisted, "Juel! Juel I love you! Always remember that! Please, Juel!" Her hands, cuffed at the wrists, twist and turn in a desperate attempt to free her hands.

Juel never got the chance to reply.

The last thing he remembered was Bolin's hard pressed frown as he slipped from reality.

* * *

><p><strong>30 Minutes Later...<strong>

Sergeant Kas walked briskly back down the hall with several others in tow to where he left Juel, Kann, and Samah.

The first body he came across was Kann's.

He gave the fallen marine a long look before paying his respects, laying him down into an honorable position, and putting his dropped rifle atop his hands.

When he tried to look for Juel's and Samah's bodies, he couldn't find them. So he sighed and surveyed the firefight's aftermath.

Kas had found out, much to his dismay, that his team had faced the _biggest_ part of the attack. His team of six men managed to hold off an entire _company_ of raiders... whereas the other squads were only facing parties of only a dozen or so pirates at the most.

He had learned that when running back up to third line of defense...

...Only to find that his entire unit was there to back him up after wiping out the smaller boarding attempts.

Everyone under Captain Jolak's command started second guessing their orders at taking the quarian vessel when they realized they had to face an entire quarian detachment of very pissed off marines who had all but decimated their colleagues. At their first available opportunity, the surviving raiders hightailed it to back their ship to make a quick escape.

Kas looked down to find Brad lying in the same spot he had killed him.

He kicked over the dead man, picked up the rifle he lay on, the one that belonged to Kas, and huffed before continuing his inspection further down the hall that lead to the docking bay. He came across Adda's and Chasuk's bodies next.

He lay Adda on the floor the same way he did Kann's before giving Chasuk a long and distant stare.

The man still lay prone with both his hands wrapped around the gun's grip with his head still resting along the stock.

If you didn't pay attention to the clean hole through his visor, It looked as if he were still alive aiming down the sights of his light machine gun.

It was haunting to look at.

As respectfully as possible, Kas carefully removed the machine gun from Chasuk's hands and lay him next to Adda before giving them both soft pats on the shoulder as tribute for their sacrifice. Right after he did so, he heard the soft sounds of weeping at the far end of the bay.

He turned to see Juel kneeling at the airlock.

"Samah..." He cried out in some futile attempt to will her back with his voice alone, "Please..."

Kas slowly approached him from behind.

"Juel... what happened to Samah? ...Where is she?"

Juel was silent for another long minute as he wept.

"She's gone..." He murmured through a choked sob, "...They took her away."

* * *

><p><strong>|Present time|<strong>

**|Date: 3/20/2184|**

**|Location: Gemini Sigma: / System: / PODA-D7-77: / Planet: PODA-S2|**

* * *

><p>"I don't know what's worse..." Juel wept and swallowed hard, "Knowing... somewhere out there... that Samah could still be alive? Or dead?"<p>

She opened her mouth to offer her condolences... but the words never left her tongue.

What good would it even do?

There was _nothing_ that could make her feel any better about John's passing.

And she was sure the same applied for the man sitting next to her.

So she did the only thing she could do. Put a hand around his shoulder and squeeze.

Right now, this wasn't a time for words, Tali decided. It was time for silence.

And right now, as they stared distantly into the forest around them, Tali felt the burden she'd been carrying with her all this time could be shouldered together.

"Thanks Tali." Juel murmured finally as he tried to compose himself, "It sucks."

"I know, Juel." Tali whispered before nodding to him, "I know."


	11. Hollow

**|Date**: **3/24/2184|**

**|Location: Gemini Sigma: / System: / PODA-D7-77: / Planet: PODA-S2|**

* * *

><p>The quarian stood motionless on the cliff side as she watched the sun setting on the horizon. Her eyes, devoid of life, stare on at the fiery furnace that hovered just over the landscape.<p>

"Tali..." John murmured from behind her, "You're beautiful. More than _anything_ I could ever imagine..."

She gave the man a glance and could see the smile she'd fallen in love with.

She didn't acknowledge him.

His whisper is rich with pain. "Please, Tali."

She looked back to the sun's milky tendrils that disappeared behind the rocky mountain. When John tried to touch her shoulder, his fingers crumble to ash.

Whatever was left of his limb had turned to charred embers

"Tali…" He stammered as he crumbled to a knee.

His final gasp of breath fills with sand. _"I love you..."_

In his last moment of struggle, he fell to dust.

And when he did, she gave his dead corpse a careless stare when John's ash, carried by the wind, touched her.

* * *

><p>The first thing Tali did was scream when she woke from her nightmare.<p>

"Tali! _Keelah_, Tali! Wake the _hell_ up!" Juel begged as he shook her vigorously with both his hands.

As soon as she caught up with what was going on, she put a hand on his arm to show she was up. "I'm up... _I'm up._"

He finally let go of her and stood upright before sitting on his cot in a heavy heap.

"God, Tali. You scared me..." His voice lowered to a whisper, "...How bad?"

She rose from the bed and sat at its edge.

"...How loud was I?" Her voice trembled.

"Loud as all hell. I'm surprised you didn't wake half the damned ship. Now _answer_ me. How. Bad."

"I relived it. I can't... I _just—_ I can't take this _shit_ anymore." She forcefully put her closed fists against the side of her head, "How the hell do people just... just get over it?!" She yelled through a choked cry as she pointed accusingly at herself.

Before Juel could reply, a loud trio of knocks rapped on their door.

"Come in." Juel said with a murmur.

The head officer of the mission, Kal'Reeger, stepped in.

"You guys alright?"

"Yeah..." Tali said through a deep breath before placing a palm along the front of her visor, "Just... a bad dream."

Kal sat down next to Juel. "Flashback?"

"Y... yes."

"Pretty bad one, I'm assuming."

"It was." Juel added by frowning.

"Need anything, ma'am? Water? Some food? I can fetch some if you need it." Kal said before thumbing behind him and standing back up.

"I'm okay, Kal... really. Thank you." Her gaze remain glued to the floor.

"I understand." Kal got the message that she needed to be left alone. As much as he knew it wouldn't help, he decided it be best to try anyways.

"Try and rest, ma'am... Life's a _big_ pisser and it looks like you've been passed the biggest turn. Don't hesitate to come to me or someone else for your problems. I hope you'll consider it. We need you at your best." He gave them both the 'do as I say' look before nodding and shutting the door.

* * *

><p>Tali's docile stare watched her hands place a handful of soil into a jar before capping it shut. The view around her was breathtaking... but all she could think about now was the Normandy and John and how doomed the quarians were. And the reapers, of course.<p>

You know. The usual.

She carelessly tossed the jar into her pack with the dozens of others she'd stuffed in there earlier.

The whole operation Tali was participating in was a political front established by Zaal and his anti-war campaign to find a new home to live on. It was noble cause, Tali would admit. If anybody could get them there, it was him.

The poor Admiral actively fought out against the war-mongering Han, Daro, and Rael. She would have added Shala into that list... but she seemed to be right in the middle without a clue of what to do.

But in the end... it was a dead-end idea with dead-end hopes and dead-end dreams.

Zaal had even said it himself, though reluctantly, that studying planets for possible future colonization was, for all intents and purposes, futile.

More over half the quarians wanted Rannoch back... if not _all_ of them. The remaining percent had demanded they give up the attempt entirely and settle somewhere else. Though the latter seemed more logical, it wouldn't happen.

And there were two reasons why:

The quarian's _unyielding_ sense of sentimentality...

...and because the council would have an eager hand to play into denying them that right to settle down anyways.

So even_ IF_ they had somehow managed to find a planet that could satisfy the quarians, they wouldn't take it... and the council wouldn't allow them to.

Tali groaned at her political pondering.

The council _hated_ the flotilla. Every path the Migrant fleet would cross would be a nuisance. All of them understandable.

So if they hated them so much, why would they stonewall them at every turn to settle on a new planet?

It seemed like a far fetch, but it was obvious. The council just wanted them gone.

As in **gone**, gone.

Scuttling all fifty thousand ships in the Migrant fleet with everyone on-board was probably something they'd _highly_ appreciate, actually.

She frustratingly reached for another vial and jammed some leaves she'd just found into its top.

"How many do we have, Juel." She asked before capping what had to be the thirtieth jar that hour.

"A lot. Forty or more, tops."

"That should be enough."

"Niamo wanted at least a hundred."

"Fuck her." Tali loathed with a grumble.

Juel shrugged and hoisted the heavy pack over his shoulder.

* * *

><p><strong>Two hours later...<strong>

Juel carefully chambered the .250 lead tipped round into his single-breech, bolt-action gun.

"Too bad we can't sedate them instead." Tali said with a sigh. Juel didn't say anything as he aligned his eye with the rifle's scope. He gave the animal he was about to shoot a good long once over.

The thing was twice the size of an average quarian. The varren-like creature, with its reptilian skin, sparse black hair, lizard like eyes, and huge tusks, stood at a height of two meters on all four of its feet. It could easily have topped twice that height if it were on its hind legs.

"We'd kill them anyways if we did that, Tali."

"I know." She shrugged and zoomed in with her built-in binoculars to watch.

He held his breath half-way through his exhale, aimed at its head, and remembered not to anticipate the shot. The bullet shot out from his muzzle break with a pounding 140 decibel crack. The animal barely had time to blink before being killed instantly.

"Kill shot." She whispered.

"You know... I'm surprised he died that fast..." He kept his eye through the scope.

"Why's that."

"I thought maybe their brain could be near their ass?"

She rolled her eyes and gave his gleaming weapon a glance.

"Where'd you get that gun?"

"Glad you asked!" He said as if he prepared the night before to answer the question, "...People still make guns out of old tech. They're good for hunting. Could you imagine what military grade mass accelerated rounds would do to an animal with no kinetic barrier?"

"I can imagine." She said flatly. When Juel tried to reply, he was interrupted by a long snarling howl in the distance.

"What the hell was that?" He quickly ejected the spent casing out of his firearm before chambering another.

"I have _no_ idea." She got up from being prone and keeled next to a bush before prying her shotgun from her belt.

A pack of ten or more brutish looking animals of the same caliber emerged from the foliage and gave their dead brother a long but curious sniff. Some of the others looked around to see if they could find the offending animal that had killed one of their own.

The two quarians stared on, too terrified to move.

"...uh, what the _hell_ are we going to do?"

"Wait... just wait and we'll see."

Their snarling grew louder and more viscous when ten or so heads turned to face the pair of quarians.

Oops. No hiding it now.

They were _definitely_ spotted.

Their snapping teeth and piercing glares were _nothing_ of short of intimidating.

It was safe to say they were _pretty_ pissed.

"They're sizing us up, Tali... if we don't do something, they're gonna _kill_ us."

Suddenly, an idea hit him.

"Wait. I got an idea, Tali. Follow my lead."

Juel lowered his rifle, stood triumphantly, and unholstered his side-arm before pointing it at the sky.

He screamed, charged like an idiot, and started firing pot-shots.

Tali caught onto the idea and tailed after Juel while firing her shotgun as fast as it would allow her.

Tali, as she charged down the hill firing her shotgun stupidly, swore the lead alpha (Or what they thought was the alpha) shit itself before tucking its tail and running away as fast as it could. With their leader gone, the other beasts came to the same conclusion when Tali's shotgun regurgitated a large fireball of death to streak overhead and smash into a poor unsuspecting tree. After the rest of them had emptied their bowels, the entire group had retreated back from where they'd come, squealing like a pyjak whose food had just been stolen from out of its hands.

When the ugly sound had subsided, they caught their breaths and finally relaxed.

Juel started laughing.

"What?"

"You have an _ugly_ scream." He said between his small fit of laughter, "It was good though... _excellent_ battle-cry. Your shotgun overload was a _great_ touch."

She blushed slightly as she toyed with her shotgun's handle. Too flustered to say anything, she holstered her weapon and bristled.

"Bosh'tet."

"I've got to tell Kal this. Want the others to know what we're up against. Go ahead and get a sample of its skin and feces." Juel stepped carefully around the piles of poop that littered the ground and radioed in.

"This is HighKnight-1 to BaseCenter-1, please prioritize this message, over."

"This is BaseCenter Actual. Go for Highknight message, over."

"We've encountered an aggressive animal... large by nature... I'm sending you some pictures for identification, over."

"Thanks for the heads up, Highknight. We'll relay the message to the other teams. Over."

"They have pack like behavior and are intimidated by loud noises. Keep your distance."

"Roger... anything else?"

"Nothing else, actual. Out." Juel looked over to see Tali clipping hair follicles with her knife and severing a small piece of flesh to place into two more jars.

"You step in their shit, yet?" he gave the large stools a disgusting look.

"No." She chided without ever looking away from her work. She got up and crossed her arms. "I hope those things aren't too smart..."

"If they are... the mission's going to get a little complicated."

* * *

><p><strong>Hours Later...<strong>

The beast chomped down on the alien's leg and watched it scream in panic and pain.

Before it could get any further into the quarian's flesh, it was killed by a slug to the head. Its mighty jaws went slack and fell next to its eighty other fellow brethren.

Apparently the animals weren't just 'pack like' in nature as Juel had said.

It looked like their behavior was more of a hive mind... Like a colony of ants or bees. And, apparently, didn't take to kindly to having newcomers on their planet.

Six quarians were killed and two others unaccounted for.

Kal was _not_ happy.

Their camp was ruined and ransacked and looked as if a giant tornado had come to do its thing and leave. Most of Niamo's equipment had been destroyed in the attack.

He pumped another round into the monster's head before kneeling down next to Oliak.

"You're gonna be alright, doctor. Don't worry. You're okay..." Kal's words, even to him, sounded hollow.

Oliak whimpered and looked at his leg. His thigh and knee had been marred down to the bone. Meat hung off in tattered shreds.

"I'm gonna... I'm gonna _fucking_ die..." was the last thing Oliak said before falling completely still. Kal knew he wasn't dead yet... his blood pressure had dropped so fast that he'd fallen unconscious.

The doctor was right.

He was a dead man.

But it would be a cold day in hell if he didn't try and save him anyways.


	12. A Day Worth Forgetting

**-Present Time...**

**|DATE:4/1/2184|**

**|Location: Aboard the Neema|**

* * *

><p>If Tali could squeeze the bridge of her nose, it would be now.<p>

The AAR was filed vocally largely by everyone who'd participated.

Almost unanimously, with the exception of a select few, everyone had considered the world a total no go.

Not long after, the entire group filed out of the Rayya's one of eighteen meeting chambers to depart back to their respective home ships. Tali herself, as soon as she'd entered, sat down in a heavy heap to go back home.

It wasn't a surprise.

The entire operation was a failure, clearly.

Just as Tali expected.

Soon enough, the word would spread 'round... and the politicking would ensue.

Heads would roll and Koris would take the brunt of the failure.

As always.

It wasn't long before she'd arrived at the Neema.

Soon enough, after she left the docking bay, decided it be best to attend Oliak's funeral and 'final' departure to the ancestors.

She leaned at the door, far away from the crowd of mourners, and sighed.

Some bowed their heads and started praying. A preacher passed around some religious ornaments to begin a ritual.

Tali was not a religious woman of any sort.

Most quarian's weren't.

Tali would go so far as to believing that most species in the galaxy didn't.

Another bitter sigh left her frowning lips.

The Reapers had voided religion in its entirety.

All of them.

She left the funeral just as the casket had been launched safely away from the migrant fleet. Oliak's wife and son stayed, watching reverently at the spec that once served as a doctor, husband, and father.

Tali cast one last look at the casket before thinking of John.

She felt tears well up in her eyes at the mere thought of John and his funeral.

At the very least, Oliak had an open casket for everyone to pay their respects.

John didn't get the luxury. And neither did the people closest to him.

She left and made her way back to her room.

It wasn't a surprise to see that Oliak's funeral had reminded her of John.

Every day something would remind her of him.

Every. Day.

Chores, working, sleeping, eating...

All of it would make her sink into a memory or flashback of him.

And then, before she knew it, ten minutes would pass, and the people around her would look at her like she was an idiot or lazy slink.

When she arrived to her cubicle, she yanked the curtains aside, went to her desk, opened a drawer, and grabbed for her injector.

She held it at eye level and felt her eyes flutter heavily with shame and hesitation.

The last time she'd ever considered taking drugs was back after leaving Noveria all that time ago with John and the others.

And when she thought of that harsh and unforgiving planet, her well of memories of that bad place flowed.

All of them were worth forgetting.

All of them.

* * *

><p><strong> -A long time ago...<strong>

**|DATE: 6/25/2183|**

**|Location: Noveria: Peak 15 Research complex|**

* * *

><p>"Shit..." John said before taking a painful looking breath of icy air, "...Give me a second, guys. Let me catch my breath."<p>

His weapon dropped into his sling and he leaned on the railing closest to him iced with frozen blood and death.

Both Garrus and Tali stop next to him and rest themselves.

"You okay? You look like shit." Garrus said as he eyed the frozen bits of charred meat on his chest plate.

"Yeah." He nodded through a sigh, "I'm fine." He finally discarded the trashed helmet he carried down the hallway with a frown. The last fight really took it out of him. Breathing zero degree air felt terrible. Add it with the frothing smells of spilled formaldehyde and rachni shit, it was a party.

"I'm glad you're okay, though." Tali offered.

About fifteen minutes ago, she saw one of the rachni beasts whip at his face with one of its razored appendages. His helmet, as a consequence, hadn't fared well against its daggered claws.

But it saved his life luckily. So there was that.

"I know, right? ...It's good to know I have both my eyes still." He gave a bitter chortle and eyed the quarian next to him. She nodded in agreement.

Tali herself had to give John some credit. The way he recovered from that staggering blow was nothing short of spectacular. He rolled to the side in like one of those awesome movie-vids before shooting the monster's horrendous looking gut. The poor thing's stomach turned into a _terrible_ looking cavity running with gooey snot. When the rachni still gurgled a horrifying scream of anger in lieu of being forcefully fed fifteen rounds of incendiary ammo, Tali replied by depressing her shotgun's trigger which took the stupid shit's head clean off.

The rachni's scrambled organs (Or whatever remained) exploded onto the Spectre's armor like a mad artist would a defenseless canvas.

He looked terrifying and, at the same time, like total shit.

She'd have to forgive him later for doing that to his gear.

"Okay..." He breathed, "I'm good. Let's... let's go."

"We should have stuck together." Garrus intoned, "We shouldn't have left Alenko and Ash with Wrex to Guard the VI core."

"Seemed like a good idea at the time." John mused as he looked at the remnants of whatever was left of his helmet. He'd retrieve it later when they came back from doing whatever it was they needed to do here.

The chilly air assaulted his frozen nose again.

_Fuck_ did it hurt. He was really considering the idea of going back to get another one from the Mako just so he could breathe... but thought otherwise. He'd dealt with worse. He could handle it now.

"To leave the Krogan... the same species that drove these aliens to oblivion?"

"He'd be a tactical disadvantage." John explained, "He'd be a liability in these quarters."

"Fair point." He remarked.

They resumed their steady advance before crossing a door which lead into some sort of foyer. Just as they had practiced before, the team quietly, with calculated precision, spread out before analyzing the room's dimly-lit ambience.

Garrus was the first to call out contacts by using simple Alliance hand signals Shepard taught to them both. Hand signals meant they hadn't been seen by the squid faced maniacs. A good thing.

-TWO CONTACTS. FRONT- Garrus motioned.

John nodded and reiterated to Tali. She nodded herself and took a small peak behind her own piece of frozen cover.

Upon closer inspection, the quarian noticed the rachni were consumed with some territorial duel over a dead body. Based on what remained of the poor soul, she guessed it to be human.

Organs and iron-rich blood littered the snow covered floor. The human's torso was left relatively intact leaving an arm and head attached.

The Body jerked and the human screamed a bloody gurgle before opening his one remaining eye to the two rachni above him.

Tali's heart, at that very moment, ceased to exist. Her moral compass, having now been completely unhinged by the horrendous sight before her, could put even krogan to shame.

Her sub-machine gun choked a single round into the man's head to save him from agony worse than hell ever could be. Her focus fell to those two wretched beings.

The rachni peered at the human and realized their twisted game came to an abrupt end. They turned to face the quarian, their new 'game', and charged; amused by the idea of 'meat-not-like-their-own' coming right out into the open.

Unfortunately, they didn't have the capacity to know she was armed unlike the dozens of others they'd killed before.

"_You._ _Fucking_. **_Animals_**."

She stood up from her wall of cover and switched back to her shotgun.

She fired a hefty slug at the closest alien's head and turned it into a hollow skull.

The second one wasn't going to fare any better than its partner. Her shotgun's choke widened for wider pellet spread. She fired in succession three times to cloak the rachni in super-heated tungsten. It stumbled from the blanket of pellets before crashing into a table buried in snow.

"Tali!" John screamed as he tried to get a good line of fire on the last rachni, "Get out of the way!"

His order fell on deaf ears.

She fired into the joints of every limb the sick fuck had. Every thundering bark from her shotgun had ended with a squealing howl of pain.

"TALI! MOVE!" Shepard screamed with Garrus right behind, _"MOVE GODDAMNIT! MOVE!" _Both their rifles were held up with Tali in their line of fire.

When she was satisfied knowing it was going to watch itself die, she fired into the rachni's weaving spears. The stems split like ripe melons and clattered to the floor slithering like snakes without heads.

She walked right up to the creature and dropped her shotgun.

_"You. Sick. Fuck." _She punctuated her words with the strongest kicks she'd ever given in her life right into the rachni's beak.

Blood spluttered from its mouth following several of its beak-like teeth.

She did it again for good measure.

Then she reached for her knife and drove it into its neck several times before working up the courage to finish it off with a blade down its disgusting toothless mouth.

She shoved the serrated blade deeper into its open throat until the dagger surfaced to the back of its neck. Before she could continue torturing the animal, she was forcefully grabbed by John and pulled to safety.

She pushed and struggled while Garrus finished the alien with a burst of rifle fire.

"Tali. **_Tali_**_!_" Shepard continued to pull her away until his back lined a wall. He placed her against an alcove before grabbing for both her shoulders. "**_TALI_**!"

She finally stopped struggling and looked up to the man that finally brought her to her senses. When she did, she wrenched free from his grip.

_"What the hell, Tali, was that!?" _John screamed with more worry than anger.

His stare stiffened at the glare he received from her.

"I did what I had to do, god damnit." She spoke in a ghostly tone and gave him another long stare before sheathing her knife and picking up her shotgun.

Before John could give a reply, she cut him off.

"We have a job to do, Commander_," _She bit coldly before turning away,_ "_Now let's get to it."

Both John and Garrus were too spooked to say anything else.

So they stared silently as they watched her eject a spent thermal shell before inserting more into her guns.

Their stares burned. But she ignored them and racked the slide of her shotgun to check for malfunctions.

The post-trauma was going to settle in soon.

And Tali wasn't naïve to know it.

* * *

><p><strong>-Six Hours Later...<strong>

**|DATE: 6/26/2183|**

**|Location: Normandy SR1, Level 2 A/3.|**

* * *

><p>For the rest of the mission, Tali had been quiet. When they returned, the quarian made headway straight to her room.<p>

She didn't care about killing the matriarch. She didn't care that it was Liara's mother. She didn't care about the asari commandos. And she especially didn't much care for discovering the rachni queen.

She sat on her bed and kept her empty stare on the needle shooter in her hand.

Igxanofen .256% DLY RLSE.  
>-ONE TIME DOSE-<br>TEMP. RELIEF OF SYMPTOMS  
>OF OR RELATED TO PTSD.<p>

The little vial read.

She swore to herself before this had all started that she'd never take it, no matter the circumstance.

But saying it was different than actually experiencing the trauma of watching someone lose their life the way that man did back at Peak 15. She'd remember this for whatever remained of her life. No doubts.

She didn't second guess herself.

She guided the needle to her arm and pulled the trigger.

Tali didn't even feel the pinch. Her breath trembled and she waited for minutes. Things were already starting to feel better. And just to see if it would help, she closed her eyes and shut out the world around her.

A sudden knock on the door stirred her away from trying to settle into an empty and thoughtless trance.

"Tali." John called just outside her room, "I want to talk to you."

Tali considered her options.

Ignore him?

No. That was a good way to get people really worried. And she certainly didn't want John to worry. It was probably best to just meet him face to face since she hadn't taken off her suit yet.

She went to the door and allowed him access into the antiseptic suite situated between her room and the hallway outside.

When stepped in under the spray, he saw Tali open the door from the other side and stand by the doorway cradling her chest with a syringe shooter dangling at the end of her fingertips.

Never had he seen her look so vulnerable in his life.

John felt himself choke up slightly. It was absolutely soul crushing to see her like this.

She felt her walls crumble just being next to him.

"John." She rasped with a choked swallow, "_I— ...I—_"

The syringe held loosely between her two fingers fell to the floor. Her trembling hands cover her mask to hide the agony she felt spilling out of her.

He too felt himself crumble. "Don't—don't cry…"

Without any idea of what to do, John opened up his arms and drew her into an embrace. "It's okay, Tals. I know."

She threw her own arms around the man before squeezing him tightly.

If she let go of him, she knew she'd be letting go of sanity itself.

She tried slurring something, but before the unintelligible words could even leave her, John started to stroke her back caringly.

Anything she was about to say died on her tongue.

Tali didn't necessarily know why, but it helped sooth some of the pain swelling in her chest.

"I'm sorry." John said sadly as he closed his bloodshot eyes, "I'm so, so sorry, Tali."

Minutes pass and they held on to each other with their teary and red eyes.

Eventually, the two separated and held each other at arm's length.

"Thank you, John..." She murmured quietly, _"Thank you so much."_

John nodded caringly at her. "If you _ever_ need me... You know I'll be here."

He held onto her hands caringly. She nodded slowly herself before squeezing his closed palm.

"I think I'm going to take a long hot shower."

"It helps." He nodded before putting a hand on her shoulder, "You'll be okay, Tali. You'll be okay."

"...Okay."

* * *

><p>Time passed and Tali hadn't let the needle leave her sight, much less her hand.<p>

Mindlessly, she stared at the syringe the same way she did after that mission on Noveria, rationalizing her pain could disappear with a simple press of the finger.

God, she wanted to. But another part of her stayed her hand. So she sat quietly in the small lab on the unusually quiet Neema for a long while and kept staring.

Eventually, the lab doors opened with Juel at its berth.

He noticed the syringe in her hand and placed whatever he was holding down on the table behind her.

"It's not going to help." Juel croaked with his back still facing her.

Tali's eyes went to the only other quarian in the room.

She didn't have the heart or courage to say anything, so she stayed silent.

Juel took it as an invitation to continue.

"I've already been down that road. Believe me." He turned around and eyed the shooter in her hand, "It _didn't_ help me. It never did. It's an addiction. A reminder of _everything _you've _ever _lost."

He took one steady step toward her with a concerned look on his face.

"Here. Give it to me." He reached out every so delicately and removed the needle from her hand.

She let him and didn't grace him with the respect of even acknowledging him.

The silence alone told Juel enough.

She was crying inside.

"...I'm sorry, Tali." He murmured, "I'm so sorry."

Without a thing to say, Tali stood up, kept her gaze on the floor, and left the lab.

When Juel heard the doors close behind him, he took a seat before staring at the little shooter and muttering to himself.

"Keelah."

* * *

><p>Codex Entry: Normandy SR1<p>

Level 2 A/3 was originally designated as the clean room on the Normandy. It is in-between the cargo bay and crew quarter level and was generally used for those undergoing invasive surgery. Due to Tali's special needs for sterilized habitats, she was given the clean room to take as her own for the duration of the campaign against Saren.


	13. Spread The Word

**|Present Time|**

**|4/25/2184|**

**|Location: The Neema|**

* * *

><p>"Hey, Tali."<p>

Tali whirled around and faced him. "Hey. Thanks for coming."

"So... why'd you ask me down to the hanger?" Juel's hands wrung a small cloth between his fingers to rub the grease from them.

"I've got news. Contacts back on the Normandy that I'm still in touch with. They sent me something a while ago... and it worries me."

"So..." Juel shrugged, "what can I do to help?"

"Nothing... all you have to do is listen. But that's something I'll tell you later." Her fingers interlock tightly together.

"Er... uh, okay?" Juel didn't hide his confused look.

"We should go talk somewhere private."

"Lead the way."

Juel followed her until they reached a hanger far away from anyone that could be within ear-shot.

"I don't even know where to start. This isn't something you can swallow all at once."

"You know... you tell me that a lot."

She chewed on her lip and nodded.

He was right.

Most of what she said sounded bat-shit _crazy._

To the average galactic commoner, she should've been locked up in an asylum.

"I know... but look." She took a seat on a conveniently placed chair and collected her thoughts. "When I was on the Normandy... I wasn't _just_ fighting... geth."

"Okay...? Go on."

"We were fighting a Reaper. A giant _fucking_ dreadnought hell-bent on destroying everyone in the galaxy."

Juel's head tilted. "...You make it out to be like the ship was alive..."

"That's because it was. It's name was Sovereign." She gave a suspicious glance behind her shoulder to make sure no one was listening to her crazy rant.

"So it _wasn't_ being controlled by that turian spectre..."

"No. Sovereign was a sentient machine. Saren was just an agent."

"So... why tell me this now? You killed it. It's done. It's over with."

"No. There are more. Thousands of them. _Millions_ even. I can't even guess how many. And we managed to stop him from letting the others through the Citadel's Relay."

Juel's stomach didn't feel all that great anymore.

"...what do they want from us?"

"We don't know..." She garbled with a disappointing sigh.

"How do you know all this?" He sat in a petrified heap across from her in another chair.

"We spoke to it once. It told us everything it planned. And it almost happened. But it's only delaying the inevitable... And the only person I could ever fathom leading us against that kind of storm is _dead._" Her palm lay flat against her visor is frustration, "We're _doomed_."

"What should we do?"

"The Admiralty board and conclave already know... but they've deemed the information on a need-to-know basis. I don't blame them. We already have enough to worry about."

"Well shit... what does the council think?"

"Nothing of it. They played it down as if Sovereign were constructed by the geth."

Juel scoffed. "That's _preposterous_. The geth _don't _have the capability to build something _that_ big. No one does."

He took a deep breath and hunched over in his chair. "I would have suggested we tell the council that the geth couldn't have made Sovereign... but that would be pointless."

He faced her and nodded his head lamely. "Yeah... we're pretty screwed from the looks of it."

* * *

><p><strong>|Present Time|<strong>

**|4/26/2184|**

**|Location: The Neema|**

* * *

><p><em><strong>To: Tali'Zorah<strong>_

_**From: Liara**_

_**Subject: nosubject**_

_Tali. Wish you were here. Doing something very, very important. This rebirth will change everything._

_Lazarus will begin._

_If only you were a part of it._

_-Liara_

* * *

><p>The only light that stood out from the inky blackness was the computer monitor's bright light. Tali read the message again for what had to have been the twelfth time that minute.<p>

_What the hell are you talking about, Liara?_

_The letter seemed obvious... _key words like 'rebirth' and 'lazarus' didn't seem to leave much room for interpretation.

The only thing she could think of was that somehow John was involved.

Nothing else mattered.

Or maybe Liara was helping rebuild the Normandy.

Or maybe her email got hacked to advertise a contracting firm for real estate.

Who knew.

In a second, the message on the screen winked out of existence.

"What the..." Tali's eyes blink frantically to make sure she wasn't hallucinating. After what had to be a minute of searching for the email, she finally gave up, turned the computer off, and slumped over in her chair.

Minutes passed by and she lay still with her head in her arms on the desk thinking of John.

She slumped lower in her seat and started boring a hole in the ceiling with her teary eyes.

"John… god, I need you…"

* * *

><p><strong>|A good number of months ago…|<strong>

**(Shortly after Mission on Noveria.)**

**|Date: 7/1/2183|**

**|Location: SSV Normandy/Frigate Class Vessel|**

**|Alliance Command CCEDF Number: 33DEFZE9-87541JSN|**

* * *

><p>Shepard didn't much care for implants.<p>

In part to his laziness, he'd decided _not_ to get haptic interface surgery wired into his fingertips.

Which meant he had to use these pathetically gaudy looking gloves for his holographic keyboard.

"Why don't you just get implants?" Garrus said.

John turned to see that the turian was standing at his door.

"Never got around to it." Shepard turned back around to his computer monitor. Garrus watched him muck his fingers slowly between each key.

"Then schedule an appointment with a doctor for surgery."

"Yeah..." John said in a _'I-don't-really-want-to' _kind of tone, "I'll get around to that." His hand waved toward the turian dismissively.

"Suit yourself."

"What brings you here?" Shepard gestured for him to sit. Garrus took a seat at the table.

"I just wanted to let you know, I've settled the tab with Ash... And despite the animosity I get from her, I'll assure you that it won't affect my job. Bickering or not."

There was this long pause between them.

"Shepard?" Garrus tried to shake him out of his distant trance.

John blinked rapidly to clear his cloudy head. "Good. I'm uh, glad to hear it."

It was clear to Garrus that John was bothered by something. Before Garrus could even ask, John spoke again.

"Garrus… how do you think Tali's holding up?"

The turian's mandibles suddenly went limp. _This again?_

"She's a big girl. She can handle herself."

"Garrus. Don't give me that."

"She's coping. and she's doing it the best way she knows how, Shepard."

The Spectre shook his head.

'Coping' wasn't exactly how he'd have put it. Tali, having become terribly introverted after the incident on Noveria, removed herself from all activity save for engineering and PT.

Other than that, she'd stay in her room for an excess of up to six to seven hours at a time without even saying murmuring a 'hi' to anyone.

"Feros. Remember? A girl no older than her. _Died_. Boom. Half the woman _gone_ because she took one for the team." He leaned forward and kept his harsh stare leveled on the turian.

"The Citadel. Where she was almost killed by Saren's mercs. The used _polonium_ rounds. _**polonium**_. Or Therum... trudging around on top of what remained of the mining crew. even I had to stomach that down. And we've seen some shit."

"Yeah."

"Top that off with more than dozen close quarter fire fights... and _I'd_ have turned crazy..."

A bitter sigh fell from his lips, "Christ, Garrus..." He shook his head before placing an open palm along his forehead.

"Shepard… if you're that worried about me…" Tali's hands fumbled nervously at her midsection while she stood at the foot of his door.

Garrus stood flabbergasted at Tali's silent entrance.

"I, uh... _I should go._" The turian flustered awkwardly with his chair. But not before giving them both awkward stares and awkwardly leaving the room.

It was clear Garrus didn't do awkward very well.

They waited for the door to shut behind the turian.

John's frown grew. "...How much of that did you hear?"

She sat down and kept her head leveled. "Everything important." She mumbled incoherently, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? There's _nothing_ to be sorry about." His face remained grim.

Her arm absently reached for her deltoid. "I know. Well, it's not that I know— Eh... You know what I mean..."

"How have you been holding up?" His tight lipped smile was anything but forced.

"Better. A little jumbled. But better."

"Good. If you ever need to talk... don't hesitate to ask for help. It isn't healthy to be alone and deal with things like that by yourself."

"...You're right. I know."

"Good."

Subconsciously, Tali put her hand over her mouthpiece to show she was smiling. Shepard's brows made this puzzled look which, to Tali's guess, meant he didn't know what it meant. She'd tell him later when their next conversation would allow it.

"Well, I came up here to tell you that I'm ready for whenever you need me."

"That's what I want to here." His tone did little to reassure her.

"_Really_, Shepard. I'm doing better. It helped when you stopped by to talk to me when you did."

"It's what I do." He remarked with a sad smile.

She stood silent for a moment to collect her thoughts while her arms crossed over her breasts.

"The scars you've had… do they… do they haunt you?" Her voice turned dry and hoarse.

"More than you can imagine, Tali." He said slowly while his eyes glossed over.

"Oh. I see." There was a long and still pause, "…I'm sorry. For making you remember it."

He nodded and decided to recount his experience for Tali to learn from. "The worst thing I can remember is Akuze... 50 men died that day... That…" Hew leaned in and his voice turned into a whisper.

"That changes you… you know?" He sighed sharply and he shook his head, "It's funny... You look back… sometimes thinking for _days_, months even, wondering what the hell you could've done to... you know, to change it." He shrugged nonchalantly while taking the time to look inherently interested with the floor.

"The point is, Tali... You come to realize, that there was nothing you could have done. You weren't prepared. You didn't know. You couldn't have. It's like that _all_ the time for everything."

Tali remained silent and continued listening.

"In the end…" His shoulders shrugged, "It can't matter. You pat yourself off, march forward, and promise you'll do better next time." He took in a deep breath and smiled sadly, "That answer your question?"

All she did was nod solemnly.

"...Can I tell you something?"

"Of course."

There was a moment of hesitation and Tali felt her gaze fall to her hands. She'd been meaning to tell him this for a while now.

"...Thanks for coming to me when you did... I needed it more than you can imagine."

Her head dipped even lower and she had to stop the coming tears, "I don't know what I would have done if you... hadn't held me then and there."

He gave her a sad smile. "It comes with the job, Tali. You see a lot of ugly shit out there." And sometimes? I wish I hadn't brought you along with it. Just to spare your sanity."

He was silent for a moment and he sighed. "And sometimes...? Sometimes I wish I hadn't brought you along... Just to spare your sanity."

She immediately shook her head to disagree.

"There isn't anywhere I'd rather be, John. What we do here... it's too important for me to back out. I'm with you 'til the end."

"_That's_ what I wanted to hear." This time, his voice was sincere.

"Thank you _so_ much." She garbled in one slow sigh. When she got up, she walked over to John and gave him a giant hug of which he gladly returned. "You have no idea what this means to me."

* * *

><p><strong>|Present Time|<strong>

**|4/25/2184|**

**|Location: The Neema|**

* * *

><p>Tali had finished climbing down the ladder to the living deck located in the very heart of the Neema.<p>

It was cramped, cluttered, and absolutely _full_ of people getting ready for dinner and breakfast (Both were served together to compensate for the work shift).

She watched a school of children in their mobile bubbles; waddling by, their full attention fixed to the teacher's lesson; explaining hygiene. Smiling inwardly, she continued down the large hallway until she approached Juel's cubicle.

Oddly enough, he lived alone.

He never did mention family before.

"Juel?" She knocked at the cubicle's frame, the milky gray patterned curtains jostling.

"I'm here Tali." He said rather loudly; trying to yell over the crowd.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure." He pulled the curtain back, and welcomed her inside. Sparing a few seconds to look around, she noticed only a bed, desk, computer, and lamp, coordinated in a dress-right-dress, military fashion. She kept forgetting that he used to be a pre-pilgrimage marine.

"What brings you here?" He yawned and grumbled something under his breath. He sat back down on his bed and heard it's springs crunching under his weight.

"You _actually_ have a bed frame? You lucky bosh'tet."

"Beats those requisitioned cots and mats everybody uses. I bought this one when on pilgrimage." He wrinkled the sheets with a hand, "It was awkward installing the frame and box spring. People were watching me from out in the hallway with dirty looks. Worth it now. Sleeping is a hobby."

"I should have brought one of those back from pilgrimage." She mumbled.

Juel laughed. "Should've just bought a whole set for the whole ship. That would've been better than the gift you got."

Tali's arms crossed over her chest.

"Really? And what did Juel'Kaan ever bring back for his pilgrimage?"

"A little of everything I suppose." He asnwered, "I spent three years on my pilgrimage. Brought back alloys, antibiotics, food stores, and a frigate to carry it all back in..." He brought up a hologram of the ship. "She serves under Han'Gerrel now. Turian design. Armed with four MAC cannons along with a whopping set of 500mm torpedo tubes. She serves the Heavy Fleet well."

"Wow. How the hell did they ever let you get your hands on something that could butt heads with a damned dreadnought?"

Juel noticed a little pang of jealousy in the way her head cocked to the side.

He inwardly scoffed.

Tali must've known her gift, in the long term, would outweigh any ship's potential usefulness. That in itself should have been reassuring.

"Well. I bought her with all of her gun ports empty and ready for re-armament... Stuck the ship into a warehouse for three years and spent the rest of my time finding parts... Amazing what you can buy outright on the extranet on Crogslist or Yibay. Second hand equipment or not, she's the best damned looking frigate in the entire fleet. And I'm proud of her."

"I never knew. That's why you love ships so much." She stammered and quickly corrected herself, "Well… more than we typically do. You know what I mean."

"Yes. I do." He nodded and suddenly remembered something, "Oh. I forgot. Your aunt left me a message for you. She left you a box in your room."

"Why didn't she just tell me through my omni-tool?"

"It's broken. Go on ahead. Oh, and also, she told me to tell you not to open it until you can get a clean room."

"Should I go and see?"

"I ain't gonna stop you."

Tali shrugged. "Well. Okay. I'll catch you later then. Bye."

"See you later."

She left Juel's cubicle and dived back into the crowd before finally arriving back to her room.

When she pulled her curtains aside, she saw the box in question sitting on her chair.

"Huh." She went up to the fair sized box and gave it a look.

The first thing Tali noticed is that it wasn't your ordinary box.

It was vacuum sealed one.

Which meant Juel was being serious about scheduling herself a clean room to see what was inside.

Seeing as how Tali had nothing better to do at the moment, she took the box and decided she'd try and pull some strings to get a clean room now.

* * *

><p>Aboard the Neema, many compartments were requisitioned into clean rooms, like most ships refitted by quarians. The Flotilla's Sanitation Department designated sanctions with three different distinctions, ranging from low to high contamination risks.<p>

Standard-risk clean rooms allowed a suited user to make third party repairs with little need to use an abrasive decontamination protocol.

Higher-risk clean rooms allowed an undressed user to make repairs outside of the suit, while maximum-risk clean rooms wouldn't permit even the user to come into contact with their own suit.

Tali was reserved for a maximum-risk clean room, in which she was forced to take her suit off in its entirety because of strict protocol. Not that she was complaining, the ability to actually strut around naked was a luxury. Especially being able to spare enough water to take a real shower like John did…

Humor aside, it didn't stop her from relieving some of those _brash _feelings of desire.

Without so much as a second thought, she turned the water, stepped inside, and slipped in a finger.

She moaned as quietly as she could (a near impossible feat) while her back leaned against the tub.

As the pleasure began to tax her muscles, she went faster and even entertained the idea of John _joining_ her.

_Ha! Keelah that sounds so **dirty.**_

She'd be lying if her imagination wasn't doing an amazing job. Soon enough, her climax came and it threw her high into the air before leaving her completely breathless.

_Whew._

"_Wow_." Was all she could manage to say.

After she was done showering and pampering herself, she made her way to the small bed and finally decided to open the gift Shala had given her.

When she did, she was left speechless for a long moment.

"Oh... _Wow_..."

She reached in and saw a new helmet, realk, and body suit. She even made this gleeful cheer that reminded her of human women showing off their newest pair of heels to their jealous friends when she unraveled her new realk_._

Zorah's iconic purple, of course.

She placed the fabric over her bare breasts and looked into the mirror just to see what it'd look like.

She could rock this.

Definitely.

For the first time since coming back, she felt happy.


	14. Wake Up Call

RATE! COMMENT! SOMETHING!

* * *

><p><strong>From:<strong> Admrial Rael'Zorah vas Rayya

**To:** Tali'Zorah Vas Neema

**Subject:** nosubject

**Classification: UNCLASSIFIED**

**Caveats: FOUO**

* * *

><p>Tali,<p>

You are to report to the Rayya at 1300 hours tomorrow for briefing. I have elected you and several others to undergo a mission.

You may also bring one companion of your choice.

If you have any concerns related or unrelated to the mission, don't hesitate to ask.

-Admiral Zorah

* * *

><p>Rael's sent the message to Tali and sighed.<p>

Word had it (Mostly from Shala's cues and subtle hints) that his daughter was going through 'a hard time'.

He placed both his hands on his visor and made an ill attempt to try and massage the pressure building behind his eyes.

He questioned how pathetic it was that he had to find out about this through _Shala_ and not from his own _daughter_.

The next several minutes were spent glancing behind him to see if Shala had made any progress in fixing her omni-tool.

Judging by the grunts and muttered slurs she made, she wasn't.

For the briefest of moments, a pang of jealously kicked him right in the chest and he felt his stomach swing into his throat.

Behind him was Admiral Shala'Raan Vas Tonbay.

One of five of the most charismatic and intelligent quarians alive.

One of five tasked with coordinating fleets and deciding where all fifty thousand ships would fly and with whom.

Yet...

She still made time to see Tali.

And he didn't.

Menial things like this never occurred to him until now. When Tali came back, the push to shove ratio from Shala rose tenfold. All of it about Tali.

He was startled from his aimless thinking when Shala shouted frustratingly.

"Damnit! I _can't_ do this! I've been at it for hours! You never realize how _important_ these things are." She threw her hands up in defeat, "I haven't sat down and worked on tech for a long time, Rael. It's quite pathetic. I've lost my touch."

"Just get a new one." He said with a grumble.

"No. It's always better to be resourceful, Rael. You of all people know that."

He nodded, uninterested. "So I do."

She let the silence between them ensue for another minute. Shala chewed on her lip and decided she mention Rael's daughter for the umpteenth time this week.

"Tali…"

Rael's brows and lips scowled at his daughter's name.

"What about her." He spoke with a deadpanned tone.

Shala closed her eyes and took the deepest breath her lungs could take.

"She's _hurt_, Rael... and she's lost so much... and someone… _very_ important to her."

She waited for a professionally snide remark.

When none came, she turned around to see Rael absently staring at his blank monitor with his back facing her.

"...I know." He said bitterly.

"Most fathers would take that as an indicator to _help_." She huffed.

Scoffing, he finally replied.

"Maybe." He offered lamely.

"Maybe!?" She stood up disbelievingly and threw her hands up in the air, completely flabbergasted, "That's all you have to say? _Maybe!?_"

She fumed at the back still facing her.

His head dipped lower in the same way Tali would whenever she'd been on the receiving end of an outburst.

"What? Should I start to be… _nice?_ Warmer? What good would it do to just... change on a moments notice, Shala?"

"It would_ sure as hell_ beat being a neglectful bastard of a _father, **Rael**._"

Rael's hand, by reflex, grabbed for his heart.

There it was again. That kick in the chest.

Her words felt like they could kill him.

"She's your _flesh_ and _blood_. Your little _Sen'ya_..." Shala accused before jabbing a finger toward him, "And you've been like this for _years._"

At this point, Shala didn't look like she was criticizing Rael for his sake. It looked more like she was doing it for her own.

"Not even saving the _god-damned_ galaxy is enough for you, is it? What is it about you that'll make you realize that your daughter still _stutters_ around you even when she's faced the worst this galaxy has to offer?! Or the fact that she can't even _look you in the eye_ when you happen to cross her? Does that not mean _**anything** _to you?"

He rose slowly from his chair and faced her with a glare sharp enough to slice through metal.

Shala took one good look at the man in front of her and suddenly gulped when she caught up to who she was insulting.

Rael's fingers twitched and his chest heaved for air. His eyes were narrowed into small slits while his brows furrowed darkly at the middle.

Before Shala could even try and take a step back, he grabbed her by the arms and made their visors kiss.

"**I'M. _TRYING!_"** He screamed and put every ounce of anger and pain he'd carried for the better part of eight years into it.

Shala, startled by his voice, wrenched free from his grip before taking several hesitant steps backward.

She swallowed hard.

Suddenly, Rael's shoulders fell from his puffing chest, his head bobbing downward shamefully to look at his feet.

"I'm _trying_…" He murmured through a cracked whisper before interlocking his hands tightly near his waist.

Keelah, he didn't mean to do that...

"I've never… been good at… expressing my love for her. _Keelah_, Shala… I can't believe I just did that…"

His eyes were brimmed with tears.

Sensing his sudden swell of grief, she put a hand quietly on his shoulder to console him.

"You're starting to feel again, Rael." She intoned quietly, "I haven't seen this much emotion from you since… well… since she died."

His gaze fell to the floor and he shook his head before shrugging off Shala's hand. "I need some time alone, Shala…" He grabbed for his meager belongings (an old worn bag he'd toted around for the past decade with his paper notes) and removed himself from the room.

When Rael shut the door behind him quietly, Shala sat back down while her chest trembled.

"Rael…"

* * *

><p>"You. <strong><em>left.<em> **me, John."

John sobbed as he fell to his knees. "No Tali, I _didn't_. _Please_. You have to _understand_!"

The blood that pooled around him was unsightly.

And disgusting.

And he cradled that large festering wound at his chest like a coward.

"I don't love you." Tali admitted as she stood over him, "I _never_ did, John. _Never_."

"T—Tali... _why_ are you doing this to _me?_"

"You _betrayed_ me, John."

"_No!" _John shouted with his crimson stained teeth,_ "_I didn't... _Tali,_ _please_... s_top... stop **doing** this_."

"You **_lied_ **to me."

She knelt down until she was at eye level before jabbing a finger into his charred and bruised chest.

"You couldn't even keep one. simple. _**promise**_."

His throat gurgled freely of red life.

"I hope you _suffered out in the void, John." _She smiled as she stood back up,_ "I hope you felt pain._"

"T—_Tali_…" Tears of dirt and sand roll down his cheeks.

His eyes were blotted with blood.

As a final price to pay for his insults, she let her back face him.

And in his final moments, he cried before crumbling into ashes.

* * *

><p>Tali felt a lot of things, as of late.<p>

Remorse.

Sorrow.

Sadness.

Depression.

Loneliness even.

But never had she felt guilt as strongly as she did now.

So when she bolted upright from bed, with her moist back and damp neck, it didn't take long for her brain to fully catch up to what she'd been dreaming of to start crying.

"Why... _why_ would I ever say _that_?" Tali whispered finally with a muffled sob, "Why would I ever even dream of something like that?"

Was this some kind of sick sign?

Some weird omen behind this nightmare?

Or was it nothing but that?

Just some sick nightmare?

Tali didn't have to think far to know omens and signs were bullshit. But she also knew desperate emotions wanted desperate answers.

Even answers that didn't make sense.

Her hot sweats came in waves.

And her heart pounded.

After downing a whole bladder of cool water, she sat at the end of her bed and wept again for what had to be the the eighth time this week.

At this rate, it would only be a matter of time before Tali would finally give in to insanity.

This wasn't living.

This was dying.


	15. Order of Operation

-Aboard The _Rayya_-

* * *

><p>Thirty men and women stood silently at attention and waited for Rael'Zorah to arrive.<p>

When Admiral Rael'Zorah _did_ arrive, many of the quarians stood straighter and waited for him to walk up to the pedestal to begin the briefing.

A minute passed by when Rael finally got his papers together to begin.

"At ease, ladies and gentlemen, you may take your seats."

Thirty quarians sat down with a charade of squeaky chairs.

"Information presented to you during this briefing is to _not_ leave this room. This is strictly for your ears only." He cleared his throat as he looked down to his omni-tool to transmit data directly to the screen behind him.

There was an intermittent pause before the screen focused into a specific cluster, which revealed a planet overwhelmed with gray clouds and her sixteen continents.

"Her name is ASPO-D22." Rael began as he glanced behind him to look at the planet himself, "For now, her new designation will be Primerah. The planet was never formally named for reasons I don't know why. Possibly lost in translation."

The slide changed and he started giving basic demographic and geographical information about the planet. "Primerah once belonged to the Peoples Republic of Gormeh. Most of its farmlands are dotted around the peninsulas of the northern continents since its iron deposits and tough tundra further inland complicated agriculture. This is important to know because the inlands indicate to us that dust storms of great magnitude will sweep these iron deposits up and into the air. You know what that means. Poor to no radio communication."

The slide switched again and showed what had to be a satellite image of Primerah's northern continent.

"This is where you'll be. It's an abandoned quarian settlement spanning seventy or so kilometers in length and width. As you can see behind me, there are two walls. The outermost wall and the innermost wall. The outermost wall holds the main city, while the innermost wall seems to be a military base of sort. Most likely an R&D facility, though we can't be sure. The blueprints we've uncovered from the information Tali'Zorah provided suggests strongly that there is indeed a lab and research station, which doubled as a living space."

He took a steady breath and switched to another slide to show the blue-prints he'd found.

"We have reason to believe this research module could give us a good clue as to how the geth have evolved. Answers as to why the geth ventured beyond the veil to ally themselves with a Council Spectre, Saren."

He looked up to see a single hand raised in the crowd.

"A question? Yes?" He waited patiently for the query.

"If you have information pertaining to the geth, would it not already have info on why they'd join… Seereen?" The quarian marine butchered the the dead Spectre's name terribly.

"As of now, no. What we have recovered at the moment is a detailed schematic for how an algorithm works and functions in a single Geth unit. And we can make the assumption that much has changed since the exile... more so than we thought from what we've pieced together." Satisfied with his own answer, he continued his briefing, glancing at Tali who sat at the very front of the row to his right.

"We are on the cusp of finally breaking down the geth, from top to bottom, in _detail_. I will not lie to you ladies and gentlemen. I would not squander with the resources of the Migrant fleet marines if I didn't believe it absolutely necessary. The better we know our enemy, the closer we are to defeating them." Gripping the podium with whitened knuckles, his gaze wandered through the faces of his audience before continuing.

"You will be deploying in 3 separate corvettes. We've monitored a meteor named: Nocturnal-Sentinel; a giant rock 1 kilometer in length and width passing by ASPO-D22 with a berth of approximately 600,000 kilometers." He shifted his feet into a more comfortable position. "That will be your ticket in. You will anchor yourself and coast in 4 days time until you reach your Target. From there, you will disengage and drift until re-entry of Primerah's atmosphere. Retrieve the target, and exit out by using the meteor you landed on."

And so the briefing continued for an hour longer before they were dismissed; the platoon of soldiers and scientists filing out into the cramped hallway, row by row, until no one but Tali and Juel remained.

"Up for it?" Tali shifted in her seat to look at Juel. He nodded.

"Drifting on a giant rock should hide our emission bleed… seems safe enough. Besides the whole—" He finger quoted, "—Geth could be at our necks at every second our heart beats." His shoulders slumped back at his sides before sighing. "Yeah. I'll go."

"Thank you Juel."

"Don't mention it. Seriously. I might change my mind."

* * *

><p><strong>Hours Later...<strong>

"Tali?"

Tali's hands seized tightly around her tools.

"...Dad?"

"Can I come in?" He rapped lightly against the side of her cubicle.

She got up from her desk and opened her curtains.

"Sure. What are you doing here?"

"I..." His stare faltered, "...came to see you."

"Why?"

Rael swallowed hard.

When Tali never got her answer, her frown turned into a scowl.

She sat back down at her desk and resumed her task.

"I see you've gotten a new suit, Tali." Rael said while his feet shift uncomfortably.

The ambiguity between him and his daughter was bigger than he imagined.

Shala's omni-tool, now in the hands of Tali, lay in a vice to keep it steady for her careful repairs. "You noticed."

His thin frown and worried brows deepen.

"How... have you been?"

"Fine."

"...Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"I noticed you got new boots." He awkwardly pointed to them, "You can see I got some myself… they… take some getting used to." His awkward laugh simmered through the air and evaporated instantly.

He never felt _more _uncomfortable in his _life_. He'd faced down skirmishes in space... fought geth on the ground, and defended the fleet against pirates.

But he couldn't even face his daughter and have a real conversation with her.

"What do you need, _admiral?_" She bit coldly.

Rael's mouth hung open as he scrambled to think of something to say.

The pang in his chest started to throb slowly.

At this point, Rael concluded that developing any kind of relationship with his daughter would be impossible.

He was too late.

_Years_ too late.

"I—I don't know. Shala had—" He felt himself at a total loss of words and he felt his stare turn glossy. He never finished his sentence.

And seeing as how Tali had yet to turn around and see if he'd finish, he stood up and stared off into the wall with a look of total regret.

"...I—should go." He moved the curtains aside and stared back to her one last time, "I'm sure you have things to... prepare for. I won't take anymore of your time."

As silently as he could, he absconded himself from whatever passed as spending time with family.

When Rael closed her curtains, Tali set down the tools in her hands and felt flabbergasted.

She'd be lying if she didn't think her father was, at the very moment, an emotional train wreck.

Him mentioning Shala at all made it clear that she finally convinced him to see her outside of work.

But what did he really expect from her other than a cold shoulder?

The last 'talk' they had didn't exactly turn out swell... and the animosity against her dad was still there.

If anything, Tali was _pissed_ about it.

Who wouldn't be mad for being accused of not doing their pilgrimage properly?

But then again... She wasn't exactly helping smooth things over between them at all.

Her hands ceased right in their tracks.

"God... fucking, _damnit_…"

* * *

><p><strong>Days later...<strong>

**|Chapter 8|**

**|Date: 5/1/2184|**

**|Location: Gemini Sigma/Julas Cluster /Migrant Fleet/Aboard Live-Ship Rayya/ Study Deck|**

* * *

><p>"I don't know how you manage to get your hands on any of this. It's like winning a lottery." He toyed with the bladder of juice before stuffing it into his pack.<p>

Tali scoffed feebly.

"It's luck. Really." She replied.

"Okay." Juel said, obviously unconvinced, "You probably get drone deliveries from Abazon or something."

"Maybe. Maybe not."

"It's like, ninety credits for one of those to come here."

They took the ladder down before finally meeting Kal.

"Ma'am." Kal regarded her before nodding to Juel. "Juel." He acknowledged him before turning around to face his soldiers.

"Alright, you know your stations, Marines. Check your gear more than I can count... which isn't that high."

Tali rolled her eyes at the joke. Kal was _much_ smarter then he let on. Which made her wonder why it was always so easy for him to pick on himself. Before she could think more on the matter, a voice called her name.

"Tali."

Tali whirled around to see her dad standing right behind her.

That was certainly a surprise.

"...Dad?"

He nodded and faced Juel. "Could you leave us just for a moment? I'd like to have a word with her in private."

Juel gave Tali a glance before nodding to the admiral. "Of course."

Tali waited for him to leave and spoke. "Uh... what are you doing here?"

He took a deep breath and stared distantly at the Rayya's docking station rife with activity. "Just saying good-bye to you." He murmured before glancing at his feet for just a moment, "...Be safe out there."

She gave him an unsightly look as if he were ill. "I... I will."

"Good." He nodded before standing slightly straighter, "I love you."

Tali felt whatever words she had fall right off her tongue.

"Farewell, Tali." He said before turning around, cusping his hands together behind his back and leaving.

Tali, for lack of better word, was caught off guard.

_Completely_.

Admittedly, she kinda felt bad she hand't said it right back... or it _all_ even.

She looked on until he was well out of sight before finally making her way to their ship.

Stepping inside, she saw both Juel and Kal having a brief conversation before giving her an appraising look.

"That was quick." Juel observed with a grin, "Everything went well, I'm hoping?"

"Better than I hoped." Tali remarked with a sigh, "Are we ready to leave, Kal?"

"Yes ma'am." He brushed his hands off before setting himself down in the co-pilot seat to get access to the radio.

"This is cradle six ready for dust-off and direct departure. How-copy? Over."

"Cradle six, you are granted immediate departure. Releasing docking clamps, you will now be escorted to airlock six. Stead-fast, over."

The magnetic compress liberated the corvette's wings before a giant crane seized the body to haul it over to airlock six.

When they finally entered airlock six, the doors closed behind them to equalize external vacuum pressure.

"Keelah Se'lai. Ancestors watch you." The traffic controller terminated their COM link channel.

"Right." Kal muttered before standing up and speaking over the intercom to his men.

"Okay, everyone." He began with a sigh, "Get settled in, it's going to take a day before we hit the Far Rim. Have fun, take stock. You're all dismissed."

He turned to Tali.

"We'll be going over the logistics of our mission in 3 hours, Ma'am." Kal said as he hung the PA's receiver, "I'll meet you there with Juel and we'll get to work."

And with that, he shouldered his pack, gave them both a nod, and headed down deeper into the ship.

"Why can't he just call me Tali?"

"Don't know." Juel shrugged when he picked up his bag, "Come on, let's get our stuff ready."

"Right behind you."


	16. Look Back on the Good Times

**Please Rate, Comment, Something!**

* * *

><p><strong>|Chapter: 9|<strong>

**|Date: 5/8/2184|**

**|Location: Gemini Sigma/Han System/Aboard Corvette Class Ship: Event Horizon/ Housing Room|**

* * *

><p>"Still haven't unpacked your bag, I see." Juel mentioned before pointing at her stuff.<p>

"I know, Juel, I know." She grumbled before reaching for the duffel, tossing it onto her cot, and opening it, "Just been holding it off."

"Uh huh."

She ignored him and went over it all over just for keep sake.

Inside were the usuals.

Stak-Aid-4 utensil packets.

Injection Medi-Gel.

Embuterolin Smear.

Thermal Clips, Suit Patches, Glass Sealant.

Back-up Omni-Tool, OSDs, Tablet.

Water.

The list went on with a dozen or more items.

"Yeah..." She said, suddenly disinterested in unpacking the stuff from her carry on, "I'm just gonna do it later."

Juel shrugged and thought little of her laziness.

"So. We've got a long while before we hit the Far Rim… how many relay jumps do we hit until we get there again? Five? Six?"

"Somewhere around there." She murmured before lying down.

Whew.

She hadn't realized how tired she was.

Her eyes flicker for a bit before finally closing.

"I'm tired..." Tali murmured, "Mind waking me if anything happens, Juel?" She turned over in her bed, slipped off her boots, and covered herself in a cheap comforter.

"Yeah." He nodded without sparing the chance to look at her, "When you wake up, we can pass the time by going over these eezo reports… I've been checking the spread sheet for days. Could use some help."

"I'd rather we play some blackjack." She mumbled sleepily.

"Black... Jack?"

"Human game John and I…"

"Tali?" He looked over to see she'd fallen asleep.

"Damn... Never seen someone just lose like that right in the middle of talking." He said to himself with a puzzled look on his face before returning to his tablet without a second glance.

* * *

><p><strong>(A week after the Mission on Noveria.)<strong>

**-Date: 7/28/2183-**

**-Location: SSV Normandy/Frigate Class Vessel-**

**-Alliance Command CCEDF Number: 33DEFZE9-87541JSN-**

* * *

><p><strong><em>...<em>**

_|Hey, Tali. Come on up whenever you're finished with your job. I want you to see something.|_

**_..._**

Her heart always seemed to flutter whenever she got a text message from him.

Excitedly, she opened a new box to reply.

**...**

_|I'll just be a moment, John. :) |_

**...**

She sent the message and gussied herself up before making her way to the elevator.

She'd be lying if she didn't feel a slight stride in her step.

After the ride in the elevator with Ashley, the dainty quarian walked over toward Shepard's quarters and knocked.

"Come in." She heard him say.

She stepped in and saw John at his computer looking over the combat simulation John and Tali did a while ago.

"Hey." She greeted simply.

"Hey. How are you feeling?"

"Definitely better than last week."

"I'm glad."

"Whatcha watching?"

"Us, actually." He thumbed the monitor behind him, "The simulation we had around... two months ago I think?"

"Oh?"

"Yeah. You've got some skills, Tali."

"Thanks."

"No, I mean it. Exemplary stuff. You're a tactician on the field, Tali."

She leaned in next to him to get a better look of his monitor.

He pointed to the screen. "Look. Right there. Tech mines. Used them after you tried to lure me while you were reloading? That's smart as hell. A _quarian_ almost got me… and I'm in the goddamn Special Forces."

She slapped his shoulder playfully.

"Need I mention that I'm a Spectre?"

She sat down and bristled. "Jerk."

"Yeah, I know. You know... Garrus was supposed to be here, but he said something about telling jokes with Joker." He shrugged.

"Telling _jokes_." Tali said with a weak smile, "With _Joker_."

"I know." John rolled his eyes, "Pretty sure the pun was intended there."

Tali's tone went serious. "John. I'm, uh, glad we're doing these talk more. I— I've needed it lately." She said as she stared distantly at the floor, "do this every other day?"

"I'd rather we do it everyday." John said before closing his eyes and leaning back, "Just... sit down and talk."

Tali felt herself mimicking John much the same way by leaning back and closing her eyes. "Thanks, John."

"For what?" He opened his eyes and looked at her, "For this?"

"Of _course_." She answered, "John... just last week I was— I don't know. But you were there. And I feel like me again."

"That what friends are for Tali." He murmured.

"Friends don't just put something into my hand— something that could help me step foot onto my homeworld and say 'that's what friends are for.' That's more than a friend, John."

She felt her gaze meet the floor as if she were just realizing it now. "...You're the best thing to happen to me since… I don't know... I don't remember if anything was as ever good as this."

"I know. I'm just awesome like that."

She actually guffawed at him before laughing.

"Bathe in your glory, John." She said, nodding, "You've earned it."

"I'm just glad you got what you needed, Tali." John said with a thin pressed smile, "The best part is that you don't have to worry about it anymore."

"Of course. Well. Because of you."

Tali suddenly frowned.

She didn't have to remind herself that John had practically finished what she was out here to do.

Which meant she had no other reason to stay once they were done doing what they needed to do.

After that, she'd never see him again.

She inhaled sharply.

Tali sensed he was thinking much the same. "It might be a ways off from now..." John admitted, "But I'm gonna miss you, Tali."

"I'm going to miss you too."

"But for now," He said on a much more happier note, "We're together… and a whole fight to finish with Saren. And when we're done… I'll take you to the Migrant Fleet myself. You can show me around. I'll meet your dad."

"I'd like that."

He rose from his chair to pull out a deck of cards from his nightstand before spilling them across the table to shuffle.

"How do you feel about not having any leads on Saren?"

"Mortified and relieved at the same time." Tali answered.

John chuckled. "Unfortunately that's the case. We've got days until we hit up our resupply. Then we have to stop by the Citadel. Hopefully by then we'll have found something."

"Hopefully." Tali repeated.

"Hey, why don't you fetch Garrus. Think it's about time we do a little rematch."

"Okay." She said before standing up.

Before she left she turned to him. "Hey, John?"

"Yeah?"

She went over to him and squeezed him firmly around the neck. "Thank you."

He returned the hug and couldn't help but smile. "Of course, Tali. Anytime."

She let go and made her way to the door. "If I did that in front of Garrus, we'd never hear the end of it."

"No... I suppose we wouldn't." He said as she left to get Garrus.

Quietly, he shuffled the cards again while he thought about what the relationship between him and Tali was exactly.

There was something there.

Something more than just being a friend.

Not that it made complete sense.

It couldn't be that uncommon of a thing to have a relationship with someone that wasn't the same species.

Right?

He shook his head.

Was this even something worth considering?

John Shepard planned things for the long term. Including relationships.

And...

She was going to leave someday.

He shuffled the cards a little harder than necessary before setting them back down on the table and sighing.

He _really_ didn't want her to go.

"I'm back!" Tali exclaimed before taking a seat next to John.

Garrus quickly followed and took a seat.

"Joker's crying, Shepard."

"Really." John said unconvinced as he passed out the cards, "You actually hurt his feelings?"

"Hurt? No. He's just never heard of turian stand-up." Garrus corrected before picking up his cards, "What game again? Mexican Sweat? What a disgusting name."

"No Garrus. BlackJack." Tali mused.

They all laugh.

John arranged his cards and gave them both smug looks. "I'm gonna kick both your asses."

Garrus gave John an unimpressed stare. "Oh? I actually remember you losing a five _hundred_ credit pot. To _Stacker_."

John gave Garrus the finger. "You know what this is?"

"Yes. It means 'fuck you' in human." Garrus quoted with his fingers, "Classy, Shepard."

"That's right." John asserted with smile.

"Garrus is right though, John." Tali added, "Worst poker face I've ever seen."

John held up his hands in defeat before rolling his eyes. "Okay… so I'm not that good. I just do it to hang out with you guys."

"That just makes me blush, Commander."

John gave Garrus an odd stare. "…Turians can blush?"

"Of course we can. Though only the females do it. When they're in the heat."

Tali and John stare blankly at Garrus.

"What."

"I'm _just_ joking, guys."

"How the hell are we supposed to know that?" John shouted, completely flabbergasted, "You've got twigs for a _mouth_."

"You mean these bad boys?" Garrus puts on a show by wiggling his mandibles.

"Keelah."

The turian laughed a little more.

"You know… I don't know how I'd do this without you guys." Shepard put on a sincere smile after the laughs died down, "Couldn't imagine chasing down the biggest bad guy in the galaxy without anyone else by my side."

"We're with you 'till end, Shepard. Count on that. Right Tali?"

"_Absolutely_."

John looked at his hand of cards and smiled. "We're going to kick Saren's ass. He's got nothing on us."

"He certainly doesn't." Garrus agreed.

"Though I can't make any guarantees of surviving the after party." John joked, "You're gonna have to give Tali here my last words after I drink enough beer to make me think throwing myself out an airlock is a good idea."

"A little celebratory suicide, huh?" Garrus shook his head, "No worries. The first person to know'll be Tali. Because as soon she hears it she'll be out there wringing your dead neck in space."

"Very funny, guys." Tali shook her head and couldn't help but laugh at the terrible joke.

* * *

><p><strong>|Present Time|<strong>

**|Date: 5/9/2184|**

**|Location: Gemini Sigma/Han System/Aboard Corvette Class Ship: Event Horizon/ Housing Room|**

* * *

><p>"Well good morning there, Tali." Juel called out as he sat down on his cot, "You've been out for seven hours. How do you feel?"<p>

"Amazingly better." Tali said with a smile, "Had a dream. John was in it. And Garrus."

"Oh." Juel nodded, less enthusiastically, "We... actually got a message from your dad from Garrus not just ten minutes ago."

Her eyes shot open and got up from the bed.

"What? I need to see it. Now."

"We forwarded it to your Omni-tool." He said before returning to his book.

She turned on her omni-tool and went straight to her inbox.

**...**

Inbox(1)

FROM: Garrus Vakarian

TO: Tali'Zorah

SUBJECT: It's from Liara.

Tali. I'm sending you that trinket Shepard made for you. Some quarian said she was returning from Pilgrimage and promised me to pass it on to you. Her name is Miya'Kahto nar Chasuk. I reminded her (Quite a lot I might add) to give it to you. I don't know your new ship name… I'd really like to know what it is.

And Tali… the Alliance just found a message from Shepard shortly after the incident on the Denmark. Found it in some floating wreckage on a black-box.

Yeah.

Liara sent it to me as soon as she got it from them.

They're his last words.

And it's for you.

**[Audio File held within.]**

**Install [Y/N]?**

**INSTALLING**

**{…Link Established.}**

**||Enhancing Audio….Eliminating Electrical Noise./**

**||Integrating Internal Audio Receptors…./**

**||Initiating Recording….||||Begin? [Y/N]?||**

"_Commander John Shepard, Acting Captain of the SSV Normandy, Log... 843."_

_"I decided to record this message in the event that someone does eventually discover my remains."_

"_This is for my crew._._. sorry if it sounds rushed. I haven't had much time to think of a parting speech."_

"The honor was mine friends. T_o lead you, to fight beside you, and be a part of the Normandy and her people. I'm gonna miss you all."_

His breaths turn hurried and thin.

"_I don't...— have much time…"_

"Tali…? you have given me so _much_ to look forward to in my life— I'm so sorry I won't be joining you in the end... and I'm sorry I won't be able to fulfill— _anyofmypromises_."

"Thank you, Tali… for _everything_… You live _happy_, **long**, and— **W**e_l_l… **o**_k_a**y**?"

"Eve**ry**th_i_ng will wor_k_ **o**ut for you, Tali— take my word for it… for my sake… you _have_ **_to _**_move _on—"

"—Don't you let me down. I'm so sorry this is how it ends. I'm sorry. And, Tali?"

There was a sizable pause.

"I love you."

**End of Audio Message. Replay? [Y/N]?**

**||Ending Message…/**

Tali… I am so sorry. But we know you needed to hear this. If you ever need to talk… I'm here.

-Garrus

**...**

Tali's mouth went dry.

Fear.

Pain.

Despair.

Nausea even.

Her trembling hand clutched her heart, while the other tried to muffle her sudden sobs.

Here, she realized they could have _saved_ him.

He was _alive._

_And they could have saved him._

Tears fell freely from her eyes.

Time. That was all he needed. But time was the friendly ally of entropy. And entropy won. It always won.

John Shepard, the man who'd saved the galaxy, died at the hands of entropy's addiction to disaster with a little taste of irony at the end.

A part of her wished she never heard the message. The pain was _real_. And it hurt more than anything Tali could ever have fathomed in her short years of life.

...But... at the same time... hearing him one last time had—

_No. _

_nononononono._

_**No.**_

The idea of walking to nearest airlock and dumping herself out into the vacuum of space sounded more bearable than this.

_Anything _at this point was better than this.

_Anything._

"Tali. Come on. Down this way. There's a room down there for you." Juel said as he guided her out to the hallway to an empty room, "You need some time alone."

"_Y…yeah... yeah I do._" She murmured.

"Just say something when you need me."

_"I will." _She choked with a quiet sob.


	17. Turian Housecleaning

**|Date: 5/10/2184|**

**|Location: Far Rim/Il-Ma System/Approaching Nocturnal-Sentinel/Aboard Corvette Class Ship: Event Horizon/CIC:Pilot Deck|**

* * *

><p>"This rock is <em>massive<em>." Juel muttered as he watched the port view camera.

"Touch down in three." Kal exclaimed as he motioned to those behind him.

The corvette trembled when its feet made contact with the ground.

Juel and Kal lean their heads back in relief.

Phase one was done and over with.

Kal unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of his chair. "Let's go ahead and get ready."

"For what?"

"We're going top-side to see how the other teams are doing."

"Whoah. What? Out _there_?" Juel pointed to the small window, "Do we even have a rover?"

"Juel. I ain't walking a mile just to meet them. That'd be ridiculous." Kal said as he shook his head, "Who'd wanna waddle out in the vacuum for two hours?"

Juel shook his head and shrugged before waving Tali goodbye. "Take care Tali. I'll be back soon."

She didn't bother replying.

Her mood wouldn't allow it.

And even though Juel knew why, it didn't stop him from feeling terribly shitty for her.

Her mood had been a real drag as of late, (more than usual) and he was starting to worry.

If it were really his guess, she'd been pale under that mask of hers since John's death.

Hearing that message probably made her look like death.

She hardly ate anything lately... and the lack of sleep was chipping away at her already crass and acrid attitude.

This woman was slowly killing herself.

With one last reluctant stare, he turned the corner and made his way to the cargo deck with Kal.

Tali stared blankly at them before leveling her gaze back at the empty metal wall before her.

It'd been two days of travel before they finally landed on this rock.

Two days since she heard John's last words in Garrus' email.

She never did reply to the turian... and she wasn't exactly in an eager mood to reply either.

She was sure he expected that.

He'd understand.

Ten minutes pass and she still hadn't moved from her chair.

The pilot had left minutes ago with one of his buddies and no one, not a single crew member or marine, had come up to her to ask for her help or bring her attention to an important matter that needed tending to.

So she sat and waited for nothing.

Waited for the mission she didn't want to do anymore.

A mission she wasn't motivated to finish or even work up the courage to worry over.

The mere idea of staying another four days on this shitty asteroid only made her feel worse.

Her two hands grip the arm rests until it hurt.

"Fuck." She said with a long drawn out mutter. She got up and decided it be best to go to bed and hide under her covers until someone would come along and bother her with work.

Before she could take two steps off the bridge, her radio squawked.

"Hey Tali." Juel said over the radio.

"Juel." She greeted, "What do you need?"

"Reeger and I are leaving now in the rover." There was a pause and she could hear Juel shouting at Reeger for running over a giant rock, "Keelah, Kal! Slower! The thing beats walking, but I don't want to spend an hour fixing it!"

She could hear Reeger mumble a half-sincere apology in the background.

"Anyways, Tali, just let us know if anything happens, okay? We're meeting up with the second corvette in about thirty minutes."

"Okay." She mumbled.

"For what it's worth, Tali... know that I'm here. Hope you feel better soon." Juel said before closing the channel.

"Yeah..." She muttered lamely to herself, "Me too."

* * *

><p><strong>|Date: 510/2184|**

A chime is heard from the far end of the room.

…

…

Liara picked up the phone.

"Garrus."

"Liara. I sent the message two days ago. She still hasn't answered." The turian sighed. "She must be taking this pretty hard."

"I guessed that..."

"How bad was John when you found him?"

"The vacuum of space did a good job of preserving his remains." Liara managed to say before placing a sweaty palm on her forehead.

Garrus' reply was hoarse enough to hear the prominent plucking of his vocal chords. "Seeing that there wasn't a planet to fall into anymore… I'm making the assumption that his remains floated in vacuity. How'd you find him?"

"It was almost impossible. Radiation from Ullipses' star made it nearly unfeasible to find an eezo bleed anywhere." Liara shook her head, "So we started searching for debris. And we found him inside a VTOL. The same one that got us off Ullipses."

"Should we say more? Is the line secure?"

"The line's fine. We may not like them Garrus... but what choice do I have?"

There was a slight pause before Garrus replied hesitantly.

"Not much."

"You listened to John's message. How well do you think she took it?"

"She's... going to need time to digest that." Garrus murmured.

"How long did you know?" Liara asked.

"Elaborate."

"How long did you know they were together?"

"I don't know. They loved each other. That's all that counts."

The turian's voice suddenly lowered into a low growl. "Tali needs to know."

"She can't."

Garrus curbed the urge to slam his fist on the table next to him.

"You're making a _mistake_."

"Then I'll pay for it."

He shook his head disappointingly.

"I don't know what else to say, Liara."

"You don't need to say anything."

"You're giving John a second chance. And one for Tali too."

"I know."

"I only hope the amount of effort you brought bringing Shepard back will recompense the mistake you're making."

"If those words could have any more meaning… I might not worry."

"We'll see about that." He remarked, "Liara. I'm going to have to call this short. I've got to get back to work."

"Work?" Liara frowned, "Garrus… what are you doing?"

"The dirtiest house-cleaning a turian could ever muster to do, Liara."

And with that, Garrus hung up the phone.

* * *

><p><strong>|Date: 512/2184|**

**|Location: Far Rim/Il-Ma System/Departing Nocturnal-Sentinel/Aboard Corvette Class Ship: Event Horizon/CIC|**

* * *

><p>"That's our window." Kal pointed to the monitor overhead, "Okay, bring the landing gear up. Let the rheostats do their thing."<p>

Kal grabbed the radio's receiver. "Maintain disciplined radio silence, everyone. This'll be the last transmission we do before we hit the planet's atmosphere. Communicate with low-level light flares if it becomes necessary."

The other two ships acknowledge his command before terminating their channel.

Kal's hands meet his lap before leaning back in his chair to get a better look out of all the screen around him.

"It'll be another day or two before we hit the planet's surface." He said as he faced both Tali and Juel, "You're free to do whatever. l'll call if I need you."

Juel waved good-bye before turning the corner with Tali down to the bunks.

"You feeling any better?" Juel stooped under a panel to the roof of a service duct somebody had opened to repair.

"Better than yesterday." Her voice flattened when she dipped under the grating herself.

"Good." Juel said, "Have you replied to your friend?" He sat down at his bed and started going through some of his things.

"No… I haven't." She sat down on her own bed and crossed her arms to hide the slight trembling from sobbing the past hour.

"You should. I remember you telling me that you haven't spoken to him since leaving them."

"Later." She muttered.

"Tali. I'm being serious." He murmured, "You hold out on it, and you'll _lose_ them someday." Juel gave the wall next to him a long sideways glance while frowning sadly at some of his memories, "I've... done it one too many times."

"I _won't_." She spat rudely before throwing the blanket over herself, "I just need some god damned _time_."

"...More than your soul could ever afford, Tali." Juel said before patting the end of her cot.

"Keelah Se'lai." Her eyes squeeze shut and remembered how Raan had said the same thing to her all those months ago.

* * *

><p><strong>|Date: 516/2184|**

**|Location: Far Rim/Il-Ma System/ASPO-D22/Departing Corvette Class Ship: Event Horizon/**

* * *

><p>"I want weapons in everyone's hands people!" Kal said as he motioned for the rest of the team to deploy onto the ground.<p>

"You will eat, sleep, and cherish the rifle in your hands. You will have an affair with your rifle, and hope that your living other-half never finds out!" Kal joked.

Several of his marines chuckle.

Kal's attention turned to Tali and gave her a nod.

"The others have landed one click to the east, and two clicks to the southwest ma'am."

"Thanks, Kal." She murmured.

Juel, behind both Tali and Kal, swore loudly while he replaced the rover's wheel Kal had managed to break on the asteroid.

Kal thumbed behind him to Juel.

"Juel's, uh, pissed, ma'am." Kal managed to say before massaging the back of his neck embarrassingly.

"Kal. He's got a good reason."

"Not that we need it anyways. We have the transport in the back." And on que, the corvette's undercarriage started lowering an M-29 Grizzly with a crane.

"Uhm... Where's the gun?" Tali asked.

"Yeah, that's what I said." Kal motioned for her to follow when he approached the APC.

"They had to make room. We improvised and ended up installing a thirty caliber coaxial anti-tank weapon system on the side. Turian made. About as hardcore as it gets. For the size at least."

"Impressive." She said, "I hope we'll never have to use it."

"Couldn't agree more." He climbed to the top and opened the driver door.

"After you, ma'am."

* * *

><p>The M-29 Grizzly was an icon for colonizing space.<p>

And while the name resonated with many, it never made up for how shitty the suspension system was.

Juel groaned, as did several others, when they went over another steep rock and jostled around like a gaggle of idiots.

Five point seat belts didn't do much, other than keep you from slamming into anyone else. And while they shouldn't have taken it for granted, Juel couldn't help but feel about how much a far cry it was from say, some of the old hoverdynes they used back when he was in the marines.

Conversation was mostly absent also. If anyone wanted to talk, they had to do it through the suit radios because the cabin was so goddamned loud.

A miserable experience, put simply.

"Ayguhr-one to Ielsima-one, radio check, over."

"Ayguhr-one this is Ielsima-two, reading you five by five. Go for Ieslima-one actual."

"Copy two, some windstorms are picking up five clicks east of here, break..." Another vicious tremor rumbled across the car, "... and the forecast looks bad."

Kal looked over the data scrolling across the truck's windshield. "So it looks like a storm is gonna stick with us for the rest of the week, over."

_Great_. _More reason to leave this rock._

"Copy, one. The outlook doesn't speak highly." She replied slowly while her voice went deeper into static.

"Agreed. What's your estimate on signal strength?" He leaned back as he maneuvered around some of the random rocks and dead trees that would cross their path.

"A hundred meters, one. Nothing more. From our readout, high concentrations of iron definitely litter this continent. Intelligence was on the money. COM units can't push through those deposits."

"And neither will the Geth." Kal asserted as his hands tighten on the steering wheel.

"I'd like to entertain that idea, Ayguhr-one. Let's not get our preconceptions hopeful now... over."

"Noted, two. Let's maintain radio discipline until that storm hits. I don't want a surprise waiting for us in the storm."

"Copy last, one. Anything else?"

"That'll be all. Stand-by for future updates. We'll keep you posted. Out."

Kal hung the receiver, sighed, and kept driving before glancing at Tali.

"You alright?"

"Yes." Tali lied, "I'm just thinking."

Kal's brow furrowed darkly at her slouched posture. "...Right."

"Seriously... You don't have to worry about me. I'm _fine_."

Kal saw Juel, who'd been sitting next to her, shake his head before crossing his arms and mouthing: _'Leave it be, Kal.'_

_Leave it be._

* * *

><p>Codex Entry: Low-Level Light Flares<p>

Though they have been proved time and time again to be obsolete by their predecessors, the outdated low-level light flares, Nicknamed the fifty-fireflies or Lx-3F, continues to see service in many naval forces including: batarian, hanar, volus, human, and quarian war-ships. The Lx-3F is designed to emit low pulsing lights to signal friendly ships in its local vicinity to report their status without the use of electrical communication. This allows for discreet communication without ships giving away their immediate position.

The quarian fleet have adapted the Lx-3F solely for communicating amongst friendlies in geth space for tactical maneuverability during space travel, with ships usually drifting for days at a time in order to remain hidden. The Lx-3F doesn't emit heat and is provided in a vast array of colors and timed flashes.


	18. An Unusual Recruit

**|Date: 5/17/2184|**

**|Location: Far Rim/Il-Ma System/ASPO-D22**

* * *

><p>Kal was right.<p>

The dust storm couldn't really compare to anything Tali had ever experienced in her life. She'd heard of the stories and the vids about people trudging through giant storms and getting swept away into oblivion. She was aware of the dangers. She understood them. But it wasn't the same until you were actually going through the real thing.

And the howling in her ears and the ghostly silhouettes that played across her eyes were terrifying.

Sure, she'd bee through worse.

She'd faced the geth, krogan, and even Saren himself. She probably had the highest body count here. But there was something about it that made it... _different_.

The winds were gusting at an excess of sixty to seventy kilometers. Anything beyond what they could touch with their hands wasn't visible anymore.

In all honesty, she was surprised they hadn't been swallowed whole by some raging vortex yet.

Who the hell knew; maybe they were about ready to walk right into a sweeping tornado.

So far, seven people had lost their _Realks_. When that happened, many stared dumbly at the flying clothes before deciding it be best to take theirs off to avoid something as embarrassing and as awful as that.

To keep everyone from getting lost in this horrid weather, Kal ordered the platoon to stretch a cord between them and hold onto it as if their life depended on it.

Which, for all intents and purposes, was.

Tali's grip tightened on the rope.

They needed to get out of this weather.

Like, _now_.

"Keep moving," Kal said calmly over the radio, "I see the station. And it looks like a good place to set up camp too."

Eventually, they reach the building Kal was talking about. It was hard for Tali to make out, but it looked to be around three to four stories tall.

"Moraah, Pilah." Kal called for his demolition experts, "Directional charges on the door." He said before pointing at the large hinges.

They did as they were ordered and set up the plastic explosive.

After a headcount twice over, Kal finally gave the okay to level the door.

Tali couldn't wait to get inside. Her _Realk, _ever since they traversed across this sandstorm_,_ felt more like trudging around with sacs full of sand tied to her belts.

Which brought Tali to think about what a terrible coincidence it was to having to ditch their rides back at the gated walls that surrounded the inner part of the settlement _right_ when the sand storm was picking up.

Kal had considered blowing a hole through the wall so they could drive the rest of the way there... but firing HE or sabot rounds through buildings and walls that have been aging over the past couple of centuries probably _wasn't_ the best way of doing things. Especially when they were supposed to be searching through said buildings. So they ventured on foot into the abandoned settlement and made their way to the research centers in hopes of finding a depository filled with stuff they'd come all this way for.

It was better than having to walk on foot through the _entire_ city... but it wasn't exactly convenient to muddle through three kilometers worth of thrashing sand to finally get there.

It'd soured everyone's mood, so most of the walk there had been carried in silence.

Tali checked, for the umpteenth time the past five or so minutes, the belts that fastened her realk closely around her.

There was no way she was going to lose this.

Eventually, the entire team lined their backs against the wall and waited.

"Sora, Maal, and Dyavo. On me. We clear the building first before we move in. No chances."

Kal motioned for everyone to stay outside before he took his small team with him inside.

Tali had counted the minutes that passed by and the pounds she took on just from all the sand massing in her pockets.

Wow. Being out here _really_ sucked.

"Anything of yours break yet?" Juel asked.

She shook her head. "Nope."

"Lucky. My candy got sand in it. Ruined. Bah." He dropped his bar of turian chocolate and watched it blow away. "That's an ill omen, that there." Juel mumbled mostly himself. He tapped her shoulder to get her attention. "How're you feeling?"

"Distracted." Tali answered truthfully, "Better this than staying on the ship." She added dryly.

"If you ever want to talk..."

"You'll be the first to know, Juel."

"Good."

Kal stepped out from the door and waved the rest of the group in. "Okay people. It's clear. Move in one at a time. Check your things and then we do another head count." Kal said through the radio.

Everyone stood up and grabbed for their things. One by one, they started moving in.

When Tali finally stepped into the dark room, she couldn't help but smile sadly at it all.

She was in a quarian building.

An oxymoron by today's standards.

And by the looks of it, they were definitely in some kind of foyer.

Tali couldn't help but wonder if this had been a shelter at some point for refugees running from the geth. She shrugged and thought little of it.

After they had taken stock, they formed up and had their team leaders report to Kal.

No MIA.

Good.

The last thing they needed was to find out some poor quarian got lost out there. In this storm, it'd be _impossible_ to find them.

The team spread out across the foyer and got to work.

While Tali, Juel, and several others pushed over some furniture over to a growing pile of junk, others had tied down a tarp over the door to keep the blasting wind and sand out.

After that, they cleaned the place up as best they could and set up camp.

"Weird." Juel said while he unpacked his gear.

"What?" Tali asked between unshouldering her backpack and gun on the wall.

"We're in a _quarian_ building. Who gets to say that?" The flashlight mounted on the side of his head turned on so he could get a better look of the giant room everyone was in.

"I was just thinking the same thing." She murmured quietly.

They both continued staring at the wall, and for once, didn't have anything to say to each other.

Her frown deepened.

It was pathetic to see what'd become of her people.

Handicapped, immunity deprived, victimized nomads.

There wasn't any hiding it.

They'd been kicked to the dirt.

Though a more accurate analogy would have been something more along the lines of 'being kicked to the void'.

Literally.

"After we get settled in, I want everyone to group up into teams of two and spread out." Kal said, "Bring whatever you can back here. Old tech and artifacts are a plus. You find an OSD and I'll owe you a drink. Let's go people."

* * *

><p>"Green. Then red." Tali said.<p>

Juel tapped his chin thoughtfully while he looked between two pieces of warped metal. "Green?"

"Then red." She repeated. She stood behind him and toyed with a small metal ball-bearing she'd found on the floor.

"A lizard?"

She shook her head. "No."

"A monkey."

"_Definitely_ not."

He grumbled confusingly. "Then what?"

"A Toucan." Tali answered.

"What the hell is that?"

"A _beautiful_ earth bird. John showed me one time on the extranet."

Juel guffawed and stared dumbly at her. "Now, how was I supposed to know that?"

She blinked several times and clicked her tongue. "I... I don't know." She dropped the rusty metal ball and suddenly felt stupid with herself.

He crossed his arms after facing her. "How're you feeling?"

"Better..." Tali, for a brief moment, looked away and wrung her hands together in some pointless attempt to keep the conversation off her, "Focused."

"Right." He shook his head, despite knowing she really _wasn't_ all that much better, and turned back around to resume his aimless browsing.

"I am." Tali whispered sadly.

Juel didn't hear.

"You wanna know what I think is weird?" Juel played with the handle to a filing cabinet and shook it.

"What?"

"If this place is as important as the geth say it is... then why aren't they here?"

"I don't know."

"Who knows." Juel mused as he kept inspecting the metal cabinet, "Maybe it _is_ important. Or maybe we're just wasting our time." He finally opened the drawer and ruffled around its old contents.

"Maybe." She mumbled.

"I think I found something." Juel hissed.

Her pulse heightened. "What?"

"A credit chit. Ha!"

* * *

><p>Other than the six credits Juel found, they'd found nothing.<p>

The other search teams also came up empty handed.

Not a good sign.

Come next morning, they'd have to double their search efforts if they had any hope of bringing something back.

They had a _big_ window of opportunity here. If they didn't find something whithin four days time, they'd have to leave. That or wait three long years before they could leave on the meteor they came riding in on.

And that wasn't exactly an option.

"What've we got." Kal asked Juel.

"Other than some money I found and a bag of bolts from team four... nothing."

Kal nodded thoughtlessly and shrugged. "Was afraid of that. I don't know if we'll be lucky, considering the place is over three hundred years old."

"We'll see what happens, Kal. I'm turning in for the night. See you in the morning."

"Take care."

Juel waved him goodbye before walking to the other side of the foyer where Tali was busily preparing her sleeping bag.

Juel set his up next to hers and laid down before opening his tablet to write something in it.

"It's not dusty here…" Tali murmured. She shut her eyes and got comfortable, or as comfortable as she could sleeping on this shitty concrete floor.

"One of the guys found a broom. Swept the place around the pads." Juel replied. Seeing as how there wasn't the extranet for him to watch a video or an eezo report to read, he put the tablet down and closed his eyes.

Tali laughed softly.

"What?" Juel opened one eye and peeped at her.

"No eezo report tonight, huh? That habit will die with you, Juel."

"I suppose it will." he agreed.

"You wanna hear a story?" Tali said, facing him with an elbow propping her head.

"It's late. I'm tired."

"Bedtime story then." Tali mused.

"What kind?"

"It's the one when I first met John." She answered.

"Well, damn. You should've said that first." Juel pat his pillow and faced her while still lying down. "I'm waiting."

Tali took a moment to collect her thoughts and began.

* * *

><p><strong>|Date: 128/2183|**

**|Location: Citadel Wards|**

* * *

><p>She'd been at this for days.<p>

Her situation had been deteriorating.

_Badly_.

Running and escaping and dodging and repeating that process more times than she wanted to count.

This wasn't some pilgrimage anymore.

This was a struggle for her life.

How the living _fuck_ did she end up in _this?!_

She took a look at the tightly woven bandage around her suit puncture and shook her head.

In the dim red light of this empty and far too clean alleyway, she felt sick just looking at it.

This nasty suit puncture was a result of the choices she'd made over the past several hours.

All of them calls of total desperation.

Ordinarily, she would never have considered Dr. Michel's offer on speaking to the Shadow Broker.

It was shady as _hell_.

But she was _out_ of options.

C-sec wasn't helping, nor any governing body that she'd run across beforehand either.

At this point, it was all about whatever she could get onto her plate. Be it an organization (she used that word loosely) whose purpose was extortion of information or not.

So she waited where they told her to meet and glanced at both the exits continuously.

It wouldn't be a surprise if Saren's men were the next ones through the door.

Really.

It wouldn't be.

She blinked the sweat out of her eyes and winced.

She was sweaty, grimy, tired, and in pain. If this didn't work, this'd be it.

Tali was a fighter, and a damn fine one at that.

But she wasn't naive to not know she'd been losing this fight.

A slight hiss of a door opened and she reared her head at the three shadowy figures walking slowly down the steps.

A turian, who Tali guessed to be the leader, was flanked by what had to be either his guards or paid mercenaries.

When they finally stepped into the red light, Tali's eye's narrowed into slits.

The turian's facial tattoo didn't really help settle any of the anxiety in her gut.

"You Tali'Zorah nar Rayya?" The turian rasped with a cautious whisper.

"Yes." she replied with a quiet murmur. She glanced at their shouldered weapons. "Where's the Shadow Broker?"

The turian ignored her question. "The evidence. Where is it?"

Tali took one step back. "Where's Fist?"

"They'll _be_ here." He stepped forward, and with something that could only pass as a turian smile, slid a hand along her shoulder and down her arm.

Tali near pissed herself and stood up straighter before slapping his hand away.

"Do _not_ touch me."

All the turian did was laugh impishly at her trembling voice. The Salarians at his side seemed nonplussed about his behavior.

Tali took another step back.

She knew she in a bad way... but this was entirely something else. Is this what it was coming down to? Getting on your knees and succumbing to a bunch of thugs pumped with nothing more than hallex and sex on their _minds?_

"No, no, _no_. The deal's off. I asked to meet with _them_. _Not_ you."

Half of her stepped into the pitch dark to unclasp a pair of tech-mines without them noticing.

"Don't make this hard." The turian said with a slender sigh, "I can help you. More than the Shadow Broker or Fist _ever_ could."

Tali felt her throat tighten when he took another step toward her.

"You know, I had a quarian gal once." He began, "Most beautiful girl in _all_ the galaxy."

Tali kept quiet while the grasp around her tech-mines tightened.

"She tried to leave me. For some shit thing. _P__ilgrimage, _if I recall correctly." He stared straight into Tali's eyes, "Wanna know what I did? Killed her. Mounted the dumb bitch right before too."

Tali couldn't muster the courage to say anything.

So a deep rumbling voice answered the turian instead.

"Then I hope you enjoy the void for your sins."

A giant krogan, one dawned in red armor with a crimson headplate, stepped out of the pitch dark and swung his fist so fast, the turian hardly had the time to blink, much less yelp in surprise before having his face look much like a coconut who'd been set against the broadside of a sledgehammer.

Tali lurched back from the krogan and wondered how the _hell_ a figure that large managed to sneak up on all of them like that.

The salarians behind the turian didn't fair much better either.

Apparently, the krogan with scars running along the length of his face, _wasn't_ alone.

Three humans, clad in standard Alliance TA-50 armor, and a turian in citadel security AFAD (Advanced Firearms And Detainment) gear, fired into the backs of the two salarians and had them killed instantly.

A mere second later, dozens of C-sec officers, also in AFAD gear, along with what had to be a detachment of human Alliance soldiers, came in from both doors and secured the alleyway.

Tali stood stunned and frozen.

That was seriously unexpected.

"Clear!" the first group called out.

"Clear!" the second group shouted.

Not a moment too soon, a human, with an 'N7' symbol etched across his chest plate, approached her slowly and stowed away his weapon.

"Are you Tali'Zorah nar Rayya?"

Tali, visibly shaken by what had transpired over the last minute, nodded weakly and dumbly at him.

"It's over ma'am. You're safe now." The man reassured.

Tali glanced over to the multitude of C-sec and Alliance personnel pouring over the alley way with flashing lights just outside the doors. Then she noticed the mines still in her hand and decided to stuff them back into her pouch before taking a breath.

Keelah.

It was _over_.

She shook her head and kept her gaze on the floor before leaning on a crate to catch her breath.

The man stepped in next to her, waved off his team and a number of c-sec agents to stay back and give the woman some space.

"Take your time ma'am."

"You can... just call me Tali." She whispered after closing her eyes.

Wow.

Closing her eyes for anything longer than a second.

She hadn't done that for a long time.

The elcor sitting on her shoulders finally fell off.

"Of course." He took a sterilized bladder of cold water out from his pocket and handed it to her. "We also have turian provisions available if you're hungry. We understand that you've been on the run for days. Eating was probably difficult."

She stared at the pouch suspiciously but took it anyways. If this guy were trying to poison her, it wouldn't have mattered anyways. If these guys were here to kill her, she was already dead.

"Thank you..." She muttered before drinking deeply, "You have no idea what a relief it is to get help. I'm in no position to complain... but I wish you would've come sooner, truthfully."

"Completely understandable, Tali. I wish I'd found out sooner myself."

"Why... why are you here?"

John got straight to business.

"Sources indicate you have information confirming Saren's direct influence and involvement on the raid of Eden Prime."

Tali nodded again, slower this time. "Yes... I do. Who are you?"

"Lieutenant Commander John Shepard. System's Alliance." He extended a hand to shake with hers.

She took the hand in hers and shook.

"You're injured." John said as he pointed to her red blotched bandage, "You need any medical attention?"

Tali's brows furrowed.

What a 180.

Just hours ago she'd been rejected by just about _everyone_ on the Citadel.

Now she had every species here jumping head over heels to make sure she was safe.

But it looked like the human's were the ones that'd be leaving the best impression on her.

Obviously because Dr. Michel was the first one to help her.

And now it was this kind gentleman.

"It's fine." She said earnestly while glancing at the large bandage, "I've already got it looked at. Maybe later when I'm in a clean room."

Shepard looked back at the krogan, his two marines, then the turian c-sec agent.

"We need your help." Shepard said.

Tali looked at John and smiled. "How can I be of service?"

* * *

><p>"Play it again, please."<p>

Tali pressed the play button on her omni-tool and it repeated.

_"Eden Prime was a major victory. The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the conduit." _

_"And one step closer for the return of the reapers." _

After the audio had played across the council chambers, everyone had remained deathly quiet.

"Thank you, Miss Zorah." Councilor Valern said with a hushed sigh, "You've been most helpful."

"Of course, sir." Tali said meekly.

Shepard, who'd been standing next to her the whole time, nodded to her with a determined look on his face.

He certainly made up for her lack of self-confidence.

Which she'd been lacking a lot lately, considering her circumstances.

That and it wasn't everyday Tali got to speak to the Citadel's most important figures _personally_ about matters made galactic.

"The proof is irrefutable." Sparatus announced, "Saren will be stripped of his Spectre status effective immediately and efforts will be made to apprehend him to answer for his crimes."

"I recognize the other voice speaking with Saren." Tevos mentioned, "It belongs to Matriarch Benezia."

"She may have been affiliated with the strike on Eden Prime." Shepard observed.

Tevos agreed. "Benezia is a powerful biotic and her following numbered in the hundreds, if not thousands. A formidable ally for Saren."

"I'm more interested in the reapers." Valern chimed in, "What do we know about them?"

Tali piped up when several pairs of eyes stared at her for an answer.

"Only from what I've extracted from the geth's memory core." She said as she looked over her omni-tool again, "The description labels them as sentient machines spanning heights numbered in kilometers... and were responsible for committing complete genocide to the Prothean empire and its peoples."

"Troubling." Valern said simply.

Tali nodded and continued. "But they vanished soon after. The geth revere them as gods... and that Saren is the prophet for their return."

"Captivating..." The salarian councilor mused, "I've never considered synthetics capable of religious sanctity."

Tevos was inclined to agree with Valern. "A predisposition for religious precept occur commonly in organics." Tevos said factually, "and while it is surprising the geth have done so; we have to remember they are the only race of synthetics of which we know exist today. And a basis or study for synthetic culture remains... clinically absent."

"This is asinine." Sparatus argued, "This prophesying is a front for Saren's true motive. A means to possibly control the geth? Maybe. But nothing more."

Tali listened to them talk with rapt interest. This was about as interesting as it got to interstellar politics.

Most of the time she'd ever come across CS-PAN (Council Space - Public Affairs Network), it was either rife with different transportation departments from each ward "discussing" a possible appropriation of towing punishments for overstepping into a ward's population boundary or extending/changing around a bill about product shipping costs from Illium to council space.

Boring shit.

Tali doubted anyone truly ever watched CS-PAN, but if they were, this'd be the day to watch it.

"Regardless of the circumstances, Saren must be brought to justice and stopped before he can achieve his goals," Tevos said before looking both Valern and Sparatus in the eye, "Whether that be the conduit or not."

"What do we do from here?" Anderson said aloud to get them back on track.

The asari councilor glanced to Sparatus and gave him a look that he was _not_ in the mood for receiving.

It was far too often Tevos did that during interstellar affairs, whether it was on the podium in front of thousands, or in a room discussing simple things like council tariffs or expediting a contract about his own goddamn car insurance.

Right now, the look she was giving him was telling him to shut the hell up and just let the humans have their Spectre.

And while Sparatus would readily admit the humans had an admirable military doctrine, they had gained_ so_ much already. Faster than anyone to date since the Council's birth!

Then this happened.

The raid on Eden Prime.

With Saren behind it _all_.

Tragic and pointless waste of life.

But Ambassador Udina's attempts were about as transparent as the glass of water sitting on his podium.

Udina was funneling a tragedy to push in favor of promoting the human agenda.

_His _agenda.

Playing the simple card of: _'Never let a crisis go to waste.'_

And make no mistake. His fellow cohorts saw through his attempts of diplomatic harassment and endless politicking too. But the difference between Sparatus, and the other two council members, was that they didn't care.

Sparatus knew all the same how this was going to end.

Tevos was be in favor and Valern would quickly follow.

But he was going to argue the point regardless out of principle, whether or not his decision was in the minority.

"No. It's _too_ soon. Inducting another Spectre within _minutes _of another Spectre's acquittal due to inexcusable war crimes is _not, _under any circumstance, _sensible!_"

Tevos' stare remained leveled and calm.

"Permission to speak, councilors?" John asked between the silence.

"Speak." Sparatus said.

"I understand the caution, sir. But it _is_ the _best_ solution." Shepard offered, "A military man of your stature understands, political ramification be damned. Udina may get his Spectre, but you'll get Saren."

Bright kid.

Political ramification was going to be end of this old turian.

Sparatus nodded thoughtfully and downed whatever remained in his glass of water.

Fuck it.

Whatever.

"Very well." Sparatus relented with a sigh.

Tevos held her head high. "John Shepard. Step forward."

Tali stepped aside to give John the room he needed.

"It is the decision of the council that you be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Citadel." Tevos began before pausing, "You are the first human Spectre, commander. This is a great accomplishment for you and your entire species."

John, without thinking of anything better to do, saluted them. "Orders?"

Sparatus nodded approvingly at John. "You're hereby authorized to use any means necessary to apprehend or eliminate Saren."

"Yes sir."

John held his rigid stance all the way through and Tali commended him on that.

If it were her in that position, she'd have trembled the entire time.

Seeing as how nobody else had spoke up to mention something, Tevos decided to clock off. "Good luck, Commander. This meeting is adjourned."

Tali smiled brightly at Shepard.

She was standing next to a newly appointed Spectre.

And it was all because of her.

* * *

><p><strong>|Three hours later...|<strong>

Tali stood with her arms hanging over the guard rail while her glossy gaze stared at John's new ship.

Her name was _Normandy._

_And she was beautiful. _

Her impression of humans soared. What was better than being polite with kick-ass ships and state-of the art technology clipped to your belt?

Nothing really.

Before she'd even left the flotilla, rumors of humans had always been a topic of discussion.

They were advanced.

Sophisticated.

Intelligent.

But they were aggressive.

Dangerous.

Naive even, at times.

And they were most certainly, entitled bosh'tets.

But the thing that struck Tali the most?

They looked like quarians.

Save for the two extra little digits at the end of their limbs and lack of faysakt, they looked alike.

Well... that and their straight shins. She forgot to mention that.

So far the rumors only seemed half true.

Aggressive?

Hardly.

Tali supposed their aggressiveness would have to be instigated first (Like most people).

Naive?

Pfft.

Sure, whatever.

Dangerous?

That she could agree with. Humans looked deadly. But not as deadly as that krogan that'd been hanging around with them.

Tali had been so wrapped up in her thoughts, she hadn't noticed John step up beside her.

"She's the most advanced ship in the Alliance. Fastest too." John said as a way of greeting before leaning on the rail himself to get a better look out the Normandy.

Tali, shaken out of her trance, nodded. "I can imagine. Her engines nearly make up half of the mass alone..."

Shepard watched Garrus and Wrex enter the aerobridge with their bags of gear and sighed.

Today was one _hell_ of a week.

John wasn't really ecstatic about being inducted into the Spectres.

Powers like the ones he was given came with a _giant_ burden of responsibility.

And while he had no doubts about knowing how to shoulder them... he knew the realities of what it was to be a Spectre.

Many of them were faced with challenges John thought impossible.

Many of them had made choices John would hope to never come across.

But if the time would arise, could he ever make a decision that would determine the fate of thousands?

Could he do it with a hundred?

Fifty?

A _million_?

He didn't know. And he was hoping he never would. But hope never really got anyone anywhere. And considering that John wasn't particularly lucky, it'd only be a matter of time until he did.

"We're getting ready for dust off in an hour." John told her, "If you have any second guesses, now's the time to take them into consideration."

And there she realized, she didn't have to do this. She could turn away now, go back to her pilgrimage, and put it all behind her.

The elevator was right there, with its doors open and ready to take her back down to C-sec.

But the impulse didn't come.

"How dangerous do you think it'll be?" Tali asked, facing him.

Shepard frowned before shrugging. "Depends on how long we'll be doing this. Hell, maybe this'll only last a week and we can all get on with our lives. Or maybe it won't."

She nodded and looked over the Normandy once more.

"You don't have to go, Tali. You're not obligated to. And I can't guarantee anyone's safety. Just keep in mind that no one will think any differently of you. You did more than most. Hell, you might have just single-handedly saved the entire galaxy."

Tali couldn't help but chuckle slightly at the thought.

"Those reapers do sound pretty bad." She joked.

"Yes. They do. I'll let you have the deck to yourself Tali. Think it over. Hard."

As he stepped off toward the Normandy, Tali's gaze peeled away from the ship to him.

She made her decision.

"Shepard..."

He turned around and faced her.

"...Need an engineer?"

John smiled.

* * *

><p><strong>|Present Time…|<strong>

**|Date: 5/18/2184|**

**|Location: Far Rim/Il-Ma System/ASPO-D22**

"…And that was it…" Tali finished before glancing at Juel who'd fallen asleep long ago.

She smiled.

It wasn't a surprise to see that happen.

Half way through the story, Juel's eyes looked about as focused as a man without a brain.

At that rate, he was going to succumb to his snoring before she'd get to finish.

Which he did.

But she told it anyways.

Not because she had an audience to give it to, but because she wanted to hear it again for herself.

It certainly put her in a cheerier mood.

She laughed softly, shook her head, thought of John for one last time, and set her head against her pillow before finally falling asleep with the barest hint of a grin on her face.


	19. Chronicle of History

**|Date: 5/20/2184|**

**|Location: Far Rim/Il-Ma System/ASPO-D22**

* * *

><p>Juel was going to be pissed if he caught her rummaging out alone like this.<p>

But she didn't care.

Out here, alone, in this dark corridor far from the others?

It was calming in a way.

She didn't have to talk to anybody... or make appearances.

Or act like everything was okay when it wasn't.

The only thing to keep her company was her thoughts, her flashlight, and the abandoned antiques she would occasionally come across.

She kept walking slowly and would pause every once in a while to look at the old dusty relics scattered about the floor. Most of the stuff here was well beyond recognizable. 300 years of rotting and aging would do that, Tali supposed.

She took a left down another hallway and walked down its length.

And right when she was about to take another bend down another corridor, she stopped when she'd noticed one of the thick plated doors hadn't been shut all the way like all the others.

Which, obviously, spiked her immediate interest.

"Huh..." She mumbled under her breath before setting a hand against its frame. It certainly wasn't big enough to squeeze through.

But it was opened just enough for her to peek in.

Judging by how thick the door was, it ran off a motor.

Which meant there were gears to operate it. But three hundred years of not being listed on the maintenance roster or getting lubed was bound to have rusted shut by now.

She pushed it anyways to see if would give any under her strength.

Surprisingly enough, she'd seen it shift a couple of centimeters.

With luck, she could pry the door open with a pipe or something...

She clipped her flashlight to her belt and started searching the ground for anything that would look even remotely useful.

And just then, her radio squawked.

"Uh... Tali?" Juel said over the radio, "Where are you?"

Tali sighed, walked over to some old drawer and pilfered through its contents. "Uhm... Looking around."

"Looking around." Juel repeated nonplussed, "You with anyone?"

She was hardly paying attention to what he was saying as she pushed the drawer back in to search for something else. "Uh..."

"You're alone, aren't you."

"Maybe." She answered as she knelt down to pick up what looked to be some old gun next to what looked to be the remains of an old rusting pitchfork.

"Keelah, Tali. You're breaking the rules."

Tali didn't reply.

"Tali?"

She blinked in surprise, the weapon in her hands forgotten. Just at her feet, next to where she'd picked up this ancient rifle, was a dead geth.

Tali would have readily admitted that she felt slightly panicked by the sight, even if it were just for a moment.

"Tali? You okay? ...Answer me."

She knelt down closer to the centuries old geth carcass, with its calcified joints and browning metal, and tried to read the inscribed label that would have been on its left pectoral.

"Yeah, I'm fine Juel." She murmured.

And right where Tali expected it to be, it read:

**SM: 9463-35-33**

**UNIT: 1281A [FACILITY OF SCIENCES: CELL 18]**

**PROPERTY OF GORMEH PEOPLES DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC**

She sighed when she couldn't read anymore of the inscribing.

It was a wonder she was even able to read any of it honestly... past the rust and chipping paint, was a warped hole in its chest.

Whether the gun she was holding in her hands was responsible for that, she could only guess.

"Tali, I understand why you're out there alone. But it isn't safe."

"I've been in worse Juel." She said with a faint smile, "Don't worry about me."

She could hear him muffle his sigh. "Just... call in when you're done or if you need help."

"I will Juel. Don't worry."

Juel cut the channel.

She got up, went over to the door, and jammed the barrel of the gun she was holding into its crevice before using some leverage to pry it open.

She smiled as the door gave in and opened itself wide enough for her to slip through.

And when she did, she stopped herself from lurching back and gasping at what she'd found just ahead of her.

"K... _Keelah_..."

_Bones_.

Or whatever was _left_ of them.

Judging just by the number of them alone told her at least three quarians died here. And the bits of tattered cloth that dangled off them was hauntingly disturbing to look at.

She took one small step inside the room, checked every corner twice over with her flashlight, and looked back at the quarian remains.

She hadn't noticed the beat of her heart thrumming in her ears or the shallow breaths she was taking.

She didn't know why... but she was _scared_.

She set a hand against her radio but immediately thought better of it.

She didn't have the heart to say anything or to call Juel, so she kept silent and searched around the room to see if she could find anything worth taking back to camp.

It didn't take her long to see that, just above the bones, to the wall, was a safe.

She took one small step after another, stepped over the quarian remains, and set a hand against the keypad.

And just for the hell of it, she pressed some keys.

And, just as she expected, nothing happened.

Well.

That was that.

"Hey, Juel?" Tali called over her radio, "I think I found something."

* * *

><p>"Damn, Tali." Kal managed to say before putting his hands on his hips, "You've <em>certainly<em> found something."

"We're talking about the bones right?" Juel interrupted, gaping at the quarian remains, "Because I think that's _way_ more interesting than the safe."

"That may be the case, but they aren't particularly useful to us." Kal retorted.

"What makes us think we'll even find something in it?" Juel wondered.

"Well, _typically_, people use them to put important things in." Tali replied.

"Let's hope so." Juel grumbled, "Guess I'll take it out of the wall then."

"Need any help?"

"I'd imagine the safe's just a door over a concrete hole." Juel observed, "All it might take is hammering out the rods holding it in place."

"Do what you need to." Kal said, turning on his heel, "In the meantime, the others will keep searching for more rooms like these."

"Have fun."

"Keep your new friends company, will you. Looks like it's been ages since they've had guests." Kal said, thumbing the bones before walking out.

"Oh, _yeah_." Juel scoffed before turning to Tali, "Well. You ready?"

She nodded.

"Here goes." He set the drill bit against the first screw and started.

Tali frowned at the squealing sound of metal.

"How you been?" Juel asked to start some small talk.

"I'm okay." She said simply.

"Yeah? I've been doing okay too." He answered.

He cracked his neck and pressed harder into the drill.

"Yeah, you should've been with us, Tali. We were down looking at this underground garage. Full of armored cars and a drop-ship."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Eye candy, really. Too bad none of them work. Shame."

"You find any bones there?" Tali asked, glancing at the ones next to them.

"Nope. You'd think we would have." Juel said before shrugging.

He finished the first bolt and started with the next, "So... What do you think happened here?"

"Bad things." Tali answered.

He stopped drilling for a second and shook his head before staring at the remains.

"Yeah..." His stare lingered for a moment, "Tragic."

"I don't think 'tragic' does them justice." Tali whispered.

"Probably not." He nodded before setting himself back to work.

"Need any help?"

"Really a one man job, Tali. No need."

"Think there's any way you can salvage this?" Tali asked before picking up the old rifle she'd used to open the door with earlier.

He glanced at the old pathetic thing for all of a second before shaking his head. "No way. You're talking about hundreds of years of rusting. The threading inside's ruined. The internals are probably the same too.

Tali shrugged and set the gun back down on the old desk. "Oh."

Juel worked silently and she watched.

When he finished stripping out the second bolt, he turned around, nodded to Tali that he was almost done, and started on the third one.

"Really think we'll find something in here?" Juel said.

"I don't know, Juel. That's why you're doing this."

"Hope I'm not wasting my time."

"If the safe's airtight... then whatever's in it will have stayed preserved." Tali thought aloud.

He nodded. "Well. We're gonna find out soon enough."

Juel broke the third screw and started with the last one. "Yeah, it looks like the safe's a solid box and not just a door. Damn."

Tali stepped in next to him and waited for him to strip the last screw.

When he finished, he set the drill down and started pulling the safe out of the wall.

"I need some help." Juel grunted.

They each grabbed a side and pulled the safe out of the wall. When it clunked heavily onto the floor, they heard several things rumble around inside of it.

"Well... that answered that. Something's in it." He breathed.

"Yeah..." She said distantly while nodding, "Definitely."

Juel rubbed the kink out of his shoulder and bent down to pick the fairly large safe up. "Okay. Let's carry it down and we'll open it there."

"Right."

* * *

><p><strong>Two hours later...<strong>

Areht'Mar vas Paltino tossed over a piece of rusty metal over to an ever growing pile of junk before glancing at Juel and giving him a sorry look.

The guy had been working on that safe for the better part of two hours.

And it didn't look like he was making much progress.

"Juel, you know it's okay to take a break, right?" Areht said concerningly.

A marine overheard Areht and shook his head. "Yeah. Bet your back's killing you."

Juel spared himself a moment to give them both a shrug before returning to work.

His back _was_ killing him.

And the only thing that wasn't stopping him from taking a break or giving up wasn't the idea that there could've been something important in it, but his inflated sense of curiosity.

Seriously. What the hell could be in this thing?

Well, he wasn't going to find out if all he did was wonder about it. He applied more pressure against the drill after setting a boot against the metal box.

Tali, who'd been looking over some of the electronic relics brought back to camp that seemed even remotely interesting, would occasionally look to see if Juel had made any progress.

And so far, she couldn't really tell.

The front of the safe had been marred beyond all recognition from Juel's drilling.

He caught notice of Tali staring and shrugged in slight disappointment before kicking away some of the shavings that'd been collecting near his feet.

"Keep working on it, Juel." Tali offered as she tossed a piece of junk behind her, "You'll get it eventually."

"Actually... I think I'm..." Juel strained to say as he started to feel something crack and give, "_almost_ there..."

He pushed harder.

"Come on... _Come_. **_On_**. you... _bosh'tet_."

Several quarians gather around him as he worked, sensing that he was finally getting close.

"You think you got it?" Kal asked.

"Yeah... I g—" Juel didn't get to finish. The safe finally busted wide open and made everyone jump in surprise.

"_Shit_!" Juel yelped as they all stepped back.

"Holy fuck!" Kal screamed,_ "__Keelah_... That was loud as _hell_. Everyone okay?"

"Yeah..." They all mumbled.

Tali stood up and crossed the room to Juel. "Well?"

Juel set the drill down and got on a knee to get a better look.

"See anything?" Tali asked, leaning in next to him to try and get a peek.

"...Yeah..." He said before pulling out a folder chocked full of papers and a little brown satchel, "Wow..."

Anyone within earshot of him turned around and stared at the stuff in his hands.

"Move over." Juel demanded as he made his way to a table.

"What the hell is all that?" Kal asked.

"Juel. Open it up. Let's see."

Juel set the folder aside and slowly unwound the binding of the little parcel before digging a hand inside.

His eyes widened a bit and the room fell silent.

"Guys." He murmured with disbelief, "They're _OSDs_."

Everyone crowded around to get a better look.

"Do they say anything?" A woman asked.

"No. Nothing." Juel answered quietly, his eyes transfixed on the ancient little devices.

The lead scientist, with the name of Pirahn'Roh vas Noriah, picked up one of the disks, examined the little sub-port, and nodded to himself.

Technology was different back then. And the team anticipated that.

So they brought equipment that would be compatible with anything that would've survived here.

Namely, OSD's fabricated three centuries ago.

"Get our computers up and running _now_." Pirahn called out, "I want g-cam six cables here, wired up, and ready for info taxing."

"You heard the man, let's go!" Kal ordered.

The quarians split up into a hurried bustle to fetch Pirahn the things he needed.

While the team scrambled, Juel and Tali stared blankly at the disks in their own hands to see if they could learn anything else.

So far, they'd all been blank and unlabeled.

"Juel. Keep looking to see if you can find anything. I'm going to start searching through the papers."

Juel nodded. "Be careful though, Tali. They're a little brown. Might crumple if you manhandle them."

She flipped open the binder (delicately she might add) and started skimming through its ancient contents.

The first thing she noted was the hand writing.

_Obnoxious_ penmanship, definitely.

Almost illegible.

She sighed and strained to pick out the words in Khellish.

Of the things she could read were words like "constraints" and "time-frames" or terms like "cost-benefit analysis" and "dimension diagrams".

"The safe belonged to an engineer, I think." Tali said. She flipped through several other papers and started to see military documents.

"Anything else?" Juel asked.

"Uhm... Yeah. Looks like whoever this was might've been in the military too."

"You don't say," Juel intoned quietly as he handed her a disk, "because this one's been signed by a Major Dieeal'Larma..."

Tali took the OSD and read over the name before looking through the papers again.

At the top of one of them read:

GORMEH PEOPLES ARMY

MAJOR DIEEAL'LARMA

[FACILITY OF SCIENCES]

RESEARCH & DEVELOPMENT (RESEARCH DIVISION)

[CELL 14: Group 1]

When Pirahn's team set up the tables and computers with the right drivers to accept the OSDs, Tali and Juel walked over with them in hand and set them into stacks.

The foyer fell deathly silent.

Pirahn stepped aside to give Juel some room.

"Do it Juel." Tali said stoically.

He gave her a single nod, selected one at random, and looked around at the dozens of faces watching him.

"Here goes." He whispered.

He inserted the drive into the computer and waited.

"Bring it up on the holo screen." Pirahn said.

One of his technicians put a duplicate up to a large blank wall for everyone to see.

Pictures started to line the screen.

Pictures of a quarian _family_.

And when they did, jaws dropped.

Tali's mouth went dry as she stared blankly at the colorful images of their naked ancestors before setting a hand against her chest.

Juel scrolled down to look at more of the photos.

The next one was of a girl, no older than four, sitting in her mother's lap in the midst of a grassy field on a bright and sunny day.

"It's a video..." Juel whispered, his hand trembling slightly over the play button.

Tali stared deeply into the mother's eyes, crinkled and relaxed from her wide smile.

Her daughter looked much the same.

"...Play it." Tali said.

"Video file selected. Compiling data. Stand-by." The computer said.

The picture of the woman and the girl began to move.

The first thing they hear is laughter.

_"Milia, look at the camera, my daughter!"_ Said someone out of the shot. The father must've been the one filming.

Milia shook her head from left to right with a big beaming smile on her face.

Some of the quarians standing next to Tali take a step back, some purely out of shock or of just how surreal it all looked.

But she stood rigid and watched.

The mother wrapped her arms around Milia and gave her a kiss on the cheek before speaking.

_"Come on Milia, smile! We'll look back and laugh at how silly you are now."_

The mother's raven black hair fell across her shoulder and diffuses the sun's ambient and bright yellow rays behind her.

The camera zooms in closer to focus on Milia.

_"Tell daddy you love him." _The mother said to the girl.

"_I wrove ue, dadee!" _The girl giggled as she looked toward the camera before smiling brightly.

_"I love you too, my baby." _The father cooed. A bare three fingered hand, no doubt the father's, entered the shot and touched Milia's cheek.

The girl leaned into her father's hand.

Tali felt herself smile.

It was beautiful.

_"Say bye-bye to the camera!" _The mother guides her daughter's hand to and fro, and the video winked out of existence.

And that's when Tali realized she'd been holding her breath.

"Keelah." Pirahn muttered.

Tali nodded absently and realized every member of the team stared resolutely forward at the blank wall where the video had just been.

No doubt form reflecting or swallowing what they'd just seen.

"...Are there any more, Juel?" Tali asked quietly.

"I—I don't know..." Juel murmured when he finally took a seat. The way he wrung his hands over the keyboard spoke volumes of the anxiety in his gut. He leaned back into the computer and turned to everyone else.

"Anyone want to see more?"

Tali nodded while the others did much the same.

Juel selected another.

One dated much later than the last.

* * *

><p><strong>|Approximately 289 Years ago.|<strong>

**|Date: 8/8/1895 CE||Quarian Calender: YR 2486|**

**|Location: Far Rim/Il-Ma System/Gormeh Peoples Democratic Republic/City of Basin Si/ASPO-D22|**

**|Eighth Cycle: Crescent Noble.|**

* * *

><p>Milia wouldn't stop crying.<p>

So Yima'Larma did her best to try and comfort her daughter.

"Shhh, it's okay, Milia, it's okay," Yima cooed as she wrapped her arms around her, "Everything's fine."

Another explosion rumbled in the far distance and the glassware in the kitchen shook ever so slightly.

"Dieeal...?" Yima muttered, her eyes wet with barely held back tears.

Milia continued to sob into Yima's shoulder.

The vibrations from yet another explosion from somewhere far off disturbed the dinner plates on the table. The loaf of bread from their hardly eaten meal tumbled to the floor.

They found them.

And they were getting _closer_.

Dieeal stared on through the window into the inky darkness of the night, and nodded with a thin lipped frown at the immensity of it all.

"We have to move." Dieeal said simply.

He turned away from the window to his wife and daughter, "They're coming."

"_Coming_? We're supposed to be _safe_!" Yima cried, "The evacuation fleets won't be here until two days' time!"

"I know." Dieeal murmured before grabbing his wife's hand and consoling her, "We have to go. Come on."

The three stepped out of the kitchen and made room for several quarian soldiers running to get outside.

"Where are we going?" Yima wondered as she carried Milia.

"To my office." Dieeal answered as the cross down a hallway and up a flight of stairs.

When they entered his office, Yima set Milia down, hugged her again and went to Dieeal.

Another distant explosion rattled the building.

And it was _much_ closer than the last.

Klaxons started blaring.

Milia's crying turned to sobs.

"Yima, you need to put this on." Dieeal handed her a chest rig with armor plates and a gun before dawning himself in his own gear, "You're going to lock this door after I leave, do you understand?"

Yima holstered the sidearm her husband gave her before shaking her head immediately. "_No_. You _cannot_ be serious."

Dieeal's radio squakwed. "The geth have breached the outer wall. All units stand by for immediate recourse of orders."

Yima put her head into her palms and shook her head madly from left to right. "_Why_. Why is this happening...?"

"I don't know. But you need to protect Milia, Yima. I'll be back soon, hun."

"Dieeal," Yima muttered as the tears fell, "Please be safe..."

"I will try." He whispered sadly as her wife handed him a camera.

"Put it on your helmet. And record _everything_."

Dieeal nodded, pressed the record button, and attached it to his helmet before kneeling down to his daughter.

"Milia. Daddy's gotta go."

"_No_." She sobbed, wrapping her dainty little arms around him, "please... _don't_."

"I know, Milia. I know." He said as he bit his trembling lip, "But I have to. I'll be back soon. I love you. Be strong for mommy, Milia. She'll protect you."

Dieeal stood up and ruffled her hair with a smile that looked more forced than anything before turning to Yima.

"I love you." Is all he could muster to say. They kissed each other with as much passion as he could fit inside of a second and went back out into the hall before giving them one last loving glance.

And then he was gone.

He jogged down the hallway and joined several other soldiers running outside.

"What the situation?" Dieeal asked as he clicked the gun's safety off, "How many are here?"

A lieutenant looked back at Dieeal as they both jogged down the hallway and answered. "Hear there's a thousand units at least, Major. That's what I've been told."

Dieeal nodded.

When they finally reached the exit to get outside, they watched hundreds of their fellow kin running and scrambling in preparation of the coming fight.

Armored vehicles stood around and waited while several VTOLs loomed over head, to drop off more soldiers.

A quarian Major, with the name of Lohnda'Mar, caught notice of Dieeal, his longtime friend, and waved him over to see him.

"Dieeal!" Lohnda shouted, "Over here!"

Dieeal ran to him. "What's going on Lohnda? You have any details?"

"Keelah, Dieeal, it's not good."

"How bad."

"Outer wall's been compromised. The militia is fighting them right now, but their losing. _Fast_."

"Casualties?"

"Hundreds by now." Lohnda managed to say while he shook his head, "We've already got civilians coming in waves, running from them."

"Lieutenant Mihles told me the geth are at least a thousand strong. How true is that?"

"Not accurate at all, Dieeal... we're looking at a force of at least eighteen thousand units."

"_What_?" Dieeal took a step back and his face paled, "There's only six hundred men left in our entire _battalian_, Lohnda. A hundred of them, non _combatants_."

"I'm aware, Dieeal. But I've got good news too. Intelligence suggests they only possess anti-personnel weaponry."

"How sure are we?"

Lohnda brought up a live feed of the city's outer wall and the geth pouring through it with his omni-tool.

"Look," Lohnda pointed, "Third armor stationed three of their tanks near the breach to stop their advance. But it's not working."

Dieeal grit his teeth.

Just as Lohnda showed, Dieeal watched their tanks flinging lead from every gun mounted on their hulls toward the geth horde.

But they didn't stop. And they didn't slow.

It seemed the geth didn't have much to consider when they were eighteen thousand strong.

The payout of decimating an entire quarian party of only six thousand survivors, most of them civilians, would be nothing short of a statistical success.

The geth knew this.

And because of that, the armor was completely ignored.

Completely.

Thousands had passed them straight into the city.

And they would slaughter anything with a beating heart.

Dieeal didn't have stretch his imagination far to think that any soldier stationed nearby was dead by now.

That meant half the militia and at least a company of rifleman.

Gone.

"They'll run out of ammunition long before they do any real damage..." Dieeal murmured in disbelief.

"Then they'll start running them over if they have to then." Lohnda growled before jumping onto the turret of his own tank, "**_I'll _**start running them over if I have to, Dieeal."

"What of air support?"

"Three gunships and several drop-ships and enough ammo for two minutes worth of sustained fire. Nothing more. The armory had fourteen ZED missiles for the gunships. Air support's limited, Dieeal. It's falling to us to stop them."

"Keelah."

"The ancestors aren't gonna help us Dieeal. Only bullets will. No point in hiding it anymore."

Dieeal sighed. "Never believed in that stuff anyways, Lohnda."

"Don't think anyone does really." Lohnda said with a frown, "But if they do exist, I'm hoping they do something about it, or we'll _all_ end up being ancestors."

Dieeal didn't get to reply.

"We've got Contact!" Someone screamed out frantically, " Keelah, they're just over the bridge!"

Both Lohnda and Dieeal look to see hundreds of geth running to get into the compound.

"Holy—... they weren't supposed to be that close..." Lohnda whispered disbelievingly, "What the hell is going on?"

"Does it matter?" Dieeal said in a much more agressive tone, "Get in your tank and go!"

"Right." Lohnda gave his old friend one last look, nodded to him, and closed the hatch to drive off with his crew.

A company's worth of men formed a line on the other side of the bridge and fired into the mass of charging geth.

Most of them holding improvised pikes and shivs. Some even guns. No doubt from the soldiers they'd killed near the city's gates.

They fell by the dozens, many of them slipping into the rapids below, but the others charged on, closer to their creators.

And just before they could make it to the other side, Lohnda's tank fired a 120 millimeter shell into one of the struts.

Dozens of tension cords snap and give and the giant column fell with a loud crash before crumbling the bridge and sending hundreds of geth into the rushing whitewater underneath them.

The soldiers didn't cease their fire. Any synthetic simpleton who'd survived and worked the courage to try and climb out of the water was quickly cut down.

"No mercy men!" Dieeal screamed as he joined in the charade of gunfire himself, "They shan't have it for you!"

A gun ship roared overhead and finished whoever was left of the charge.

The victory was short lived.

Suddenly a quarian soldier elicit's a short scream before slamming against the ground. "Fuck! I'm hit!"

Several more men follow quickly after and drop to the ground.

"**_Sniper! _**Take cov—" one of the sergeants never finished. Lead exits her throat and kills her instantly.

"The walls!" Another shouted, "Look high!"

Dieeal turned and saw dozens of geth jump over the high walls to get inside the compound.

_Right__ where Yima and Milia were at._

"We need to fall back! Fall back to the median! Move!" An officer screamed.

"No!" Dieeal screamed frantically, panic swelling in his heart, "Yima!"

The quarian firing line turned to a mess. Dozens of soldiers lay on the ground bleeding while anyone standing scrambled to find some cover or an escape from the deadly crossfire.

"Fall back! **_Fucking_ **run! Go!"

"Move!"

"GO!"

"Run!"

Dieeal started running. But not to safety, no. He started running toward the geth, back to his family.

Dieeal trudged passed his fellow kin to the exclusion of all else.

He had to save his family.

Abandoning his wife and little girl was _not_ an option.

It never would be.

Not now.

Not _ever_.

He started running, fired his rifle calmly at any machine who'd happen to chance upon his iron sights, and forced his way back into the building by crashing his shoulder against the door.

The first thing that met him were the screams and gunfire resonating inside the building.

"Yima!"

The gunfire and screams are the only things that answer him.

Swallowing his worst fears, he raised his gun to eye level and scanned the stairwell before slowly making his way up.

The gunfire and sounds of struggle didn't cease.

His office was just a hallway down now.

"Yima! ...Milia!"

"Dieeal!" Yima screamed, "Here!"

He took the stairs two at a time and when he made it to the top, he stumbled upon a geth armed with nothing but a bloody pitch fork.

Not even a second could pass before three sharp prods pass through the other end of his back, right under the armor plates of his carrier.

The first thing Dieeal felt wasn't pain.

It was shock.

Shocked that he'd even been caught that off guard.

Shocked that he'd come so close to getting both his wife and daughter out of here safely.

So. Goddamned. close.

But there wasn't a point in giving up now.

The geth forced the fork deeper and Dieeal kissed the barrel of his rifle right under its pectoral before firing a long burst into its chest.

Ambulatory fluid, shell plating, and internals fly from the new cavity and the geth dropped lifelessly onto the concrete floor.

Dieeal fell to his knees and felt tears welling in his eyes as he stared at the farming tool lodged in his abdomen.

If it meant anything to Dieeal, at least the prongs were thin.

"Dieeal!" Yima screamed as she ran to him. She fell into place next to him with her hot tears and sobbed.

"Shhh..." Dieeal murmured quietly, "It's okay..." He dropped his gun next to the dead geth and held the pole resting right under his naval, "We just gotta... pull it out and get out of here. Where's Milia?"

"In the office..." Yima choked as she cradled her husband as carefully as possible, "_Keelah, this can't be happening_..."

"I know..." He mumbled before setting a packet of clotting agent and medi-gel on the floor next to him, "The fork's thin. I'll be okay if we can get out of here and to the Army's combat hospital."

He stopped and finally looked to her, "You're going to have to help me."

She nodded dutifully and held the end of the pitch fork. "…Ready…"

He gave her a scared look. "..._now_."

They both pull slowly and Dieeal felt _unconditional_ pain. Pain so unlike anything he'd ever felt in his entire **life**.

The pitch fork finally left him and Yima tossed it to the side and wasted no time in applying the medi-gel into his wounds with a syringe.

"I'll be okay, Yima, " He said with a heavy breath, "but we have to go, _we are out of time_."

Suddenly Milia screamed from down the hallway in his office.

Both Dieeal and Yima spring to their feet.

"Milia?!" His wife screamed as they both started running to their daugh_t̷͇̘̗̲͍͖̘̰͚̮͂̈́̆̆̈́͒̉̕͘͝ȩ̷̛͉̦̲̠͍̦͖̝̈̾̓́͋̇̉͒̚͜r̷̨̡̹̺̻̖̝̳̯̻̓̀̍͊̊͆͒͛̽̈́. ̸̧̙̦̺̲̩̝̘̖̣̀͊̎̆͆̎̀̆̈́͑b̴̺̖̩̙̤͚̰͕͖̙͗͗͛̈́͒̎͒̏̌Bũ̶̢̧̢͎̙̗̯̲̖̱̀̀̀͗̈́̋͂̾͝ẗ̸̢͙̪̤̳̼̺͙͚͆̒̆̄̈́̏̎̈̕ͅ ̴̡̨͔̹̼̪̟̪̺͍͂̾̈̈̆̅̉̓̂̚ţ̴̧̧̛͔͎̥̭̣̟͚͒͑̆͐̇̋̋̇̚ĥ̶̠͙͔̮̙̳̦͙͚̲͒̈́́̿̑́̈͒̕e̵̻̻̘̱̤͙̪̰̓́̀̉̄͊͒̚̚͜͠ͅỹ̵̛̹̤͇͔͚̙̮̭̱̆͐̌̏̔̀͘͘͜ ̷̭̪͙̺͙̺̖̹̩̙͛̈́̅̿̍̃̑͌͆͠w̵̡̞̩̠͖̺̺͍̖̫̽̽͊̂̌͆́̏̚̕ě̷̟̩̱͕͈̭̩͖̗͑̂̔̈́̈́̐́̚͜͝ŗ̶͔͍̟͕̮͓̣̼̱͌̋̒́͂͗̍͋̂̐e̶̩͓̠̺͕͍͕͉̰̤̿́̊̂͒̋̿̃̾̚ ̸͕̣̘̥̱̩̰̬̗̠͌̓͆̔̊͗̓͂̾͑t̷̢̺̼̘͖̟̝̣͗͂̔̄̀̿̌̊̉͘ͅͅo̶̢̡̡̩̗͉͖̫̠͐̆̇̈̌̊͌͒̋͗ͅơ̴̺̺̞̬̥̻͎̤̳̑̓̓̋̽̈́͆̈́̊ͅ ̷̛̣̜̲̖͉̭͉͉̀̌̆͑͐͗̓́̂ͅͅl̷̢̛͕̫̳͖̬̩͙͇͐̈́͆̊̂̀͆̒̕͜a̷̧̗͚͇̣̰̟̗̲̻͆͒͑̂̔̎͐͐̃̽ẗ̴̡͈͇̠͈̟̲̮̯̼́͑̈͐̍̑͐̆̿̆e̸̡̛͔͈̩̪̝̗͇̳̝̊́̆̽̈͌̏̌͝.̸̧̗̜͇̻͔̻̱̹̲̒͗̋͆͛̽̋̅́͐ ̷̧̛̛̣̜̬̭̟̩̳̫̮́̔͋͗̅͋͘͝f̷̢̡̛͇͍͖̖͎͈͍͖̎͊̌̎͛͐͘͝͝a̵̛̪̰̺͎̱̱̗̥͖̳̽̑͂͌͌̈́͐͐̕r̸͉͍̞̭̻̣̻̙̥̜̈̒̌̽̿͂̍͌̕͝ ̴̲̼͉̺̖͕͉̭̥̅̒̂̊̉́́́̃͘ͅt̵̨̰̱͇̭̣̲̺̳͙̏̉̎̈̎̌̄̌̄͝ō̶̦͇̱̘̤̝̭̙̺͎̽́̈̉͆̈̈́̚͝o̵̮͉̻̹͇̺̠̘̘̹̽̎̒͗̾́̑͋͠͠ ̶̧͓̭̩̪̫̤͙̟̯́̾̅̊͋͑̂̚͘̕l̵̹̹̘̣̬͎̹̮̜̯̔͐̅̊̔̊́͛̅͝ä̸̻̘͇͖͖͉͙͕̰́̀̽̔̇̄̓͊̀̚͜t̵̛͕͕̱̦͙̹̥͖̳͍͋͌̅͗̈́͒͗̎̕ȩ̷̧̠̘̖̮̣̹̥͔̋̀͆̉̍͆͐̈͋͘ ̴̧̭̠̹̜̘͍̬͔̅̉́̀͗̿͋́͘̚͜t̷̡̡̡̝͓͓̦͈̗͒͆̐̒͌͊͋̒͑͜͝ǫ̶̝̝̦̘͈̖͇̱̀̑̅̉͐̑͂͋͋͜͝ ̸̺͍̞̺̯̮̯̱͔̲͆͋́̑̇̆̇͗͊͝d̷̢̯͎̲̤̜̱̬͈͖̽̍̃͗̍͛͒̋̋̚.̵̨̛̭̤̯͇̮̣̮̙̆̿̑͑̈́̍̈́̂͘͜ ̶̛̪̪̦̫̘͕͇̰̩̖̬̲̺̦̣̦̟̪̣̀̊̈́̍͒͆̃͒̉̀͋̅͛͐̚̚͝ ̷̖͍͎̼͖͉͖̝̻̻̠͎̺͙̲̯̺̓́̒̇̏̋̔̋̎ᗡ̴̧̨̥͖͔̻͕̤͖͔̬̖̹̻̤̣͕̠̼̼͆̾̐̌̉́͛̎͌͊̔͑̀̍̇̀̒̇̽͝Ǝ̸̢̜̥̼͉̱̣̲̻̩̰̤̖͓̬̬̳͚̩͋́̈͆́͌̉͂̔͊̑͗̀̄̉̉̂͆̚͠ͅ⊥̷̧̧̗̜̹̩̟͔̼̫̩͖̻͉̹͉̜̑̈̈́̾̍̎͊͗̿̿̏̏̏̊̓̀̓̚̚͜͜͝ͅ⅂̶̢̧̢̛̠̭͉͓̺̺̱͇̳͉̠̜̥̮̠͈͓̊̒̃̔͊̅̐̆́̽̿͋́͋̋͘͘͠͝∀̷̨̨̝͙̗̥͎͙̪̯̘͈̣̥̰̝̮̺̰̀̈́̈́̓͐̒̈́͒̾̈̊͒̿̄͊̊́̕̕͜͝H_—-**[=⃫**=/**R**ECOR_**DI**_NG **A**BR⃥U⃥P⃥TLY-**H**A_LT_ED..]

**_[F̶̷̸̲̲ᴏ̶̷̸̲̲ʀ̶̷̸̲̲ᴍ̶̷̸̲̲ᴍ∀ᴛ C_**_ᴏʀ_**_ʀ_**ᴜ**_ᴘ̶̷̸̿ᴛ̶̷̸̿ɪ̶̷̸̿ᴏ̶̷̸̿ɴ̶̷̸̿ I_**ᴅᴇɴ_ᴛ_**_ɪғɪᴇ_ᴅ_.]_**

**_A_**_D**O**C:/E%%**R**ECO^RDING[**A**BRUPTLY[**H**A8LTED.87(87&T⃫E⃫S⃫T⃫I⃫N⃫G⃫^65Error^**[_S_T**AN7**D-BY]**RESEQUENCING/:**_

A new recording appeared.

One of a blood soaked floor and deathly silence.

Just ever so faintly, you could hear Dieeal's sobs before picking the camera up with two red stained hands, limping over to a safe on the wall, and turning off the camera for good.

* * *

><p><strong>|Present time…|<strong>

**|Date: 5/20/2184||Quarian Calender: YR 2775|**

**|Location: Far Rim/Il-Ma System/City Ruins of Basin Si/ASPO-D22|**

**|DESIGNATION: PRIMERAH|**

* * *

><p>"Oh my god..." Came Tali hoarse whisper, "The bones... It was <em>them<em>..."

Juel, as silently as he could, removed the disc from the computer, set it quietly on the table, and stared distantly off into nothingness.

No one had a thing to say. Most stared distantly at the dark screen with their empty eyes before wandering their cold gaze to the floor.

Tali took a breath and took into careful consideration everything she'd seen and questions she wanted to ask.

First and foremost...? What were they going to do with this stuff?

Pirahn stepped up next to Juel, took the disc out of his hand, and stuck it back into the computer.

"What the hell are you doing?" Juel asked shockingly.

"Copying everything over and making sure the Admiralty board sees this. _All _of it." Pirahn said flatly as he continued typing.

Some nodded at the prospect of showing this to the Admiralty board.

With something like this, the push for an immediate preparation for war would seem all but _unstoppable_.

Others immediately disagreed. The ramifications of using this to emotionally distress the quarian government on such sensitive matters involving the geth was _not_ a good idea.

One of Pirahn's cohorts, with the name of Rieyel'Tea, was one of the people who disagreed. "_What?_ That is _not_ our mission parameter, Pirahn."

_"_Excuse me?" Pirahn rasped, turning around to face the woman. Judging by his raised voice, it seemed Pirahn was used to Rieyel's open mouthed pandering and constant objection.

"And why is _that_, Rieyel? Tell me!" Pirahn shouted as he took a step toward her, "I'm all fucking ears!"

"You're copying this monstrous shit for the Admiralty board and asking for an emotional fuckfest, Pirahn. You're just giving the war-mongering idiots like you another reason to go to war with the geth!"

He punctuated his words by taking several steps closer to her.

"You. _Fucking_. Geth. **_Sympathizing Bitch!_**"

Pirahn tackled Rieyel and they both fell to the floor.

Several of the other scientists and marines start shouting at Pirahn before leaping in and prying him off the poor woman.

As Rieyel crawled away from the screaming man, she started to cry at the trauma he'd just caused her.

"You just saw what they did to us you fucking bitch!" Pirahn screamed as he struggled against the arms holding him back, "How can we let them get away with this!"

Kal pointed out to a hallway. "There's a room we cleaned up down the hallway. Get Pirahn out of here." Kal ordered, "_Now_. He can come back when he's calmed down."

"Get your hands off me!" Pirahn screamed as he and the three marines restraining him took him out, "Let me go!"

Everyone waited until the three marines and Pirahn left.

"...I'll tell you what we need to do." Someone else said, continuing from where they left off, "Take it back out of the computer and break the disc."

"Pirahn's wasn't wrong." Another argued, "It would be wrong to not let the Admiralty see this."

"No one is going to do anything until we think this through!" Kal yelled sternly before giving everyone a look, "Got_ it?_"

Everyone stopped talking and held their heads low.

"Good." Kal breathed before taking a moment to think, "Who in favor of keeping it? Raise your hands."

Slowly, thirteen hands go up.

"Who in favor of getting rid of it?"

Twelve different hands go up. Tali and Juel included.

"Still too close to decide." Kal intoned quietly before sitting down and sighing.

Tali's downcast eyes stared absently at the ground for a long while, thought long and hard about what she saw, the political implications it could bring, and the people around her.

Surely some would understand the danger the choice of showing this to the admiralty board would bring.

Hugely disproportionate factions between peace or war.

Martial law. More so than what it already was.

A disband of the Conclave.

All out war.

Mass Destruction.

_Extinction_, even.

And either the quarians would win, or they wouldn't.

This was a simple dichotomy.

But what was more important than this?

The Reapers.

The quarians had the biggest fleet in all the galaxy.

Surely that would help logistically when the Reapers would come.

That was more important than this pathetic squabble now.

Tali took the stage and stepped in front of everyone so they could see her.

Kal looked up from his hands to her. "...What's up, Tali?" He asked quietly, "Have something to say?"

"Yes." She answered with a slight nod before turning to everyone.

"I don't know if you all know me," Tali began rather somberly, "But I'm Tali. And you all know my father."

Everyone trained their eyes on her and she took a shaky breath. "My experiences travelling across the galaxy... The people I was with... The people I met... the people I fought against... They all taught me a lot. Skills I'll take with me for the rest of my life."

She looked down momentarily to gather her thoughts.

"One of the things I've learned... and perhaps the most important lesson of my life, especially when it comes to the geth, is that violence and war is _never_ an answer." She turned around, picked up the disc sitting on the table, and put it at eye level before staring past it to her audience. "If we let the Admiralty and Conclave see this...? If we let our captains, and crew, and our family see this? And if we _do_ go to war? I don't know what would be worse. Watching the people we know closest to us witness a horror best kept buried? Or seeing us mobilize for a war we would never win."

"...You make it out to be like we wouldn't have a chance." One of them said.

"You think we would?" Tali asked rhetorically, "Do you _honestly_ think we could?"

The person said nothing.

"Tali's right." Juel added to her defense before taking a spot next to her, "This stuff right here? It needs to stay here."

"If you do that, this guy and his family died for nothing." Another pointed out.

"And _if_ you do show it, we'll **all** die for nothing." Juel countered quickly, "...There's **_no_ **way we're ready for this."

"He's right." Someone else agreed, "As much as I want the geth gone, you're talking about working up against the impossible."

"If we decide to destroy this, there's no telling how Pirahn's going to react to this, though."

Rieyel finally had the courage to speak again. "Who cares what he thinks?" She sighed, "His opinion doesn't matter."

"But it does if he says something about it when we get back home." Tali supplied before stepping next to the woman and putting a gentle hand on her shoulder, "He needs to see reason. Especially since he's leadership."

"I don't want that bosh'tet anywhere near me." Rieyel whimpered slightly before wrapping her arms around her chest, "But do what you have to."

"We will." Tali nodded before looking back to Kal. "Kal? We need to see Pirahn and speak to him."

"I'll take you to him." Kal said as he stood up, "Let's go."

Tali gave one last fleeting look to everyone crowded together before following both Juel and Kal out to meet Pirahn.

And the first thing she did when they entered the hallway was sigh.

How was she going to convince someone like him a decision that meant stalling a war he felt necessary to bring back their homeworld was wrong?

Appeal to his same desires by saying she wants the geth gone too but that they can't?

Maybe.

It was about the only card she wanted to play or could even think of at the moment.

It wasn't long before they arrived with Pirahn grumbling to himself and the marines guarding the entrance.

Kal waved to his marines to step aside and the three walked in before sitting down in front of Pirahn.

"Hey." Kal greeted, "Have you calmed down yet?"

"Calmed down." Pirahn scoffed before looking to both Juel and Tali and huffing, "Hardly."

"We came to you because we made a decision." Tali expressed as calmly as possible, "And I'm sure you know what it is."

Pirahn's hands turned to fists in his lap. "You're. Making. A. _Mistake_."

Tali sat right across from the man and leaned in close to try and punctuate her point. "I want you to know that everyone here with you wants the geth gone _just_ as much as you do. But jump starting something we're not ready for is not going to help us."

"The more we wait... the more we won't be ready." Pirahn strained to say before turning back to face Kal, "Tell Rieyel I'm sorry. For everything."

"We will. You'll get to apologize in person. But we're talking to you now because we still value your opinion." Kal answered.

Juel took the mantle. "Everyone wants our planet back, Pirahn. But this isn't the way of doing it. We have to do it with facts. Not by twisting an emotional hand behind every back we can."

Pirahn sighed and held his head low. "Fine. Do what you want with it. I'm done arguing. Just remember that I think you're doing everyone we know a disservice. _Everyone_."

"We know Pirahn." Tali murmured sadly, "If I knew we could win the war, I'd be right beside you. But not now. Not in this case."

"Take some time to think, Pirahn." Kal said as they all stood up, "Join us when you think you're fit for duty again. We've got a dozen more discs to look through which means we need you back at the helm for this."

"Okay." Pirahn breathed before slumping in his old rusting chair.

And with that, Tali sighed her relief, stood up with the others, and returned to work.

* * *

><p><strong>Four days later...<strong>

**DATE: 5/24/2183**

****|Location: Far Rim/Il-Ma System/Nocturnal-Sentinel/Aboard Corvette Class Ship: Event Horizon/CIC: Observation Room|****

* * *

><p>Tali watched through her small little window, the planet they'd been on for the better part of almost two weeks.<p>

As they drifted seamlessly through space on their asteroid, away from Primerah, Tali thought of her time spent alone and the discoveries she made.

And, of course, Dieeal and his long dead family.

Tali finally turned away from the little window before unshouldering her bag and taking a seat and smoothing out the wrinkles in her realk.

They'd found outdated things mostly on the other OSDs. Some of it an exchange of research between nations involving the geth. Samples of unchecked geth evolution. Development of possible geth culture in the event of AI transfer. Others about simulating armament potential had the geth been equipped for an all out war.

The numbers didn't look good if Tali had any real say in the matter.

Which made her think of why the geth tied this all up with the information she'd procured on that terminal when she was with John all that time ago.

She shrugged to herself mentally. Was it really worth thinking over? It's not like she'd come to a conclusion that easily just by thinking about it hard enough.

The only suspicion she could gather really was the geth knew of the research conducted and marked it as a point of interest.

What else could be said of it?

She looked back out and the window from her seat and frowned.

Not much, she supposed.

Fortunately, the stuff they'd found would be good enough for her dad and the other admirals.

Just another baby step forward to getting their old home back to what seemed to be an infinitely bigger line ahead of them.

She couldn't help but feel hopeless about that.

All this for some unremarkable baby step.

Pirahn's words echoed in her thoughts.

_'The more we wait... The more we won't be ready.' _


	20. Alliance News Network

**|Chapter: 10|**

**|Date: 6/1/2184|**

**|Location: Gemini Sigma/Julas Cluster|**

* * *

><p>You know what Tali liked?<p>

Tea.

The good kind.

The kind that was made with real herbs grown from the rich soils of a garden world and not from some unsightly hydroponic duct.

And definitely not the synthesized kind. It may have tasted the same, smelled the same, looked the same... even identical in every way to the soil grown herbs... but it just... _wasn't_.

She cradled the hot mug with both her hands and took in its sweet scent. And just before she could kiss the mug and savor its sugary notes, her father walked into the room from behind her.

"Tali." Her father greeted as he entered from out the hallway.

"...Dad? Hi?"

He sat down on the sofa and delicately reached for the mug in her hands before setting it down on the coffee table.

"Um... Okay...?" Tali's stare finally left the cup, "...Yes?"

"Tell me about John."

Tali immediately frowned.

"What?"

"John." Rael repeated, "Tell me about him."

She stared dumbly at him with a perplexed look on her face. "—Uh... Well—"

"—Stop stammering."

"Sorry. You just caught me off guard."

"Maybe the vid-screen is distracting you? I know you adore the soap-operas at nine."

She stared at the large vid-screen and the opening sequence of the soap-opera in question. "...I do?"

"Of course." He smiled, or as faintly as one ever could smile, and turned off the vid-screen before looking out the window to the cityscape, "The one with the human and quarian falling in love."

"...? —Erhm..."

"How could you not remember?" Her father continued before staring to the kitchen to his wife, "Honey! You know Tali loves the soaps at nine right?"

"Of course. And she has to watch it with her favorite tea every day." Tali's mother peeped her head out from the kitchen to look at her husband, "Would you like some, Rael?"

"That's okay. I have coffee in my office." Her father turned back to face Tali, "Now, tell me about John."

"Well... he's smart... and strong... and courageous... "

"A soldier, if I remember."

"Mhmm." Tali agreed with a nod. She pulled the sleeves of her sweater up higher to her elbows. Keelah, she hated it when her sleeves went past her wrists, "And I spent my entire pilgrimage with him."

Tali's dad picked up a magazine that was sitting on the coffee table and couldn't help but frown at its picture. "Why do you like this soap, Tali? It's rubbish."

Tali didn't know why, but she felt quite offended by his rude pass of opinion.

So offended in fact, that she felt it necessary to argue. "No, it's not! It's a_ fantastic_ story, dad."

"But the quarian is falling for a human. It's... odd. Don't you think?"

"What's wrong with that?"

"It's not natural."

"Wait." She shook her head, "Where are you getting at with this?"

"I don't like your relationship with John." Her father admitted finally, his smile leaving his face instantly, "It may work on the vids, but not in real life."

Tali felt a knot grip her stomach.

Just as she expected.

Another facade to get in close and destroy her hopes and dreams again.

Her mother must've overheard from the kitchen. But like always, she stayed out of these arguments to keep the peace for dinner later.

"...What do you want me to say, dad?" Tali nearly whispered as she felt herself sweat slightly.

"You need to stop pursuing a relationship with him, Tali. ...He's not your future."

"Worth pursuing? Not my future? Who are _you_ to tell me what my best interests are?"

"Because I'm your father." He said sternly, his hard-jawed frown and icy eyes holding firmly against her, "There are a lot of things you don't see now that will affect you both later in life."

"As with _every_ relationship?" Tali countered, "You don't think I've already considered these possibilities? Or the consequences?"

"You don't have to consider them at all anymore, Tali." Rael said, standing up, "I've already told him you're no longer allowed to see each other."

"_What_?"

"You cannot see him anym—"

"—How _could_ you?" She stood up immediately and felt her eyes brimming with hot tears.

The way her shoulders shook told her she was already well into sobbing, "Is this some kind of... joke?"

"No, Tali. It's not."

She cupped her hands against her face and wiped away the tears from her eyes.

"Had I known earlier Tali, that you were this intimate with a human? I would've stopped this _long_ before it'd gotten this far." He explained with his even glare.

"I can— can't believ— you don't even have the decency to mind my privacy do you? What'd you do? Look through my omni-tool? My computer?"

"No. It was the message from Garrus that I sent to you while you were on your way to Primerah. Your turian friend. The one with John's last message before his death."

Her world crashed down upon her.

This was another dream.

She wasn't wearing her sweater and jeans anymore.

She was wearing an enviro-suit.

And she wasn't living in some big city. She didn't have a living room, or kitchen, or even a goddamn house.

And her mother was _dead_.

The dream went black and the dysfunctional utopia was gone.

* * *

><p>She opened her eyes and listened for the Neema's ambience.<p>

There was a subtle conversation just outside her dwelling. Probably Olasie or Enyah out there speaking with one of the other neighbors.

The daily tremor from coolant pipe nine that ran along the ceiling was beginning to pressurize.

Fuel inductor four, the smallest of the dozen or so on this side of the Neema, was ready to dump its solvents into a tank for future fuel injection.

Just as Tali settled in to try and go back to sleep, she heard soft footsteps approach her little home.

"Hey, Tali," Olasie called from outside Tali's drapes, "You awake?"

Keelah. She was too tired to be holding conversations with people right now.

Even if they were her friends.

"...Ugh."

"I know, I know. Sorry. I'm not one to wake you in the middle of your sleep cycle, but Juel's here at the table and he wants to speak to you."

Tali yawned and forced herself to lay on her side. "Just... come in. Both of you."

"You sure?"

"Keelah, yes. Just come in."

Olasie yanked the curtains aside and waved for Juel to come into Tali's humble abode.

"What do you want to show me." Tali said flatly with her eyes still closed and her blanket still covering half her head, "Tell me it's important at least."

"The Rayya's engines, or one of them, failed." Juel said urgently.

Her eyes shot open and she sat up from her bed. "_What_?"

"Well, that got your attention." Juel said as he set his laptop down on Tali's desk, "I'm lying. I've just got something to show you."

"God _damnit _Juel." Tali groaned before falling back into bed and fluffing the sheets around her, "What is it then?"

"It's an article I wanted to show you."

"You woke me up three hours before my shift and lied to me about the Rayya's engines. _Just_ to show me an article."

"Believe me, when you read it, you're going to be glad I showed it to you."

Tali looked at Olasie and the woman shrugged. "Sorry, Tals. He told me the same: That it was important."

Tali sighed, sat upright in her bed and urged for Juel to hand him the laptop.

When he did, she started reading the article.

* * *

><p>(A(lliance)_N(ews)_N(etwork)—A:lukehilliard:Id333 45-44-A444[Artcl#=]Updtd:06:43:01GeST_ip/tcp:198.68.29.****

**A.N.N.**

_**-BREAKING NEWS: HUMAN SETTLED COLONY ALLEGEDLY DISAPPEARS. NO TRACE OF COLONISTS' WHEREABOUTS-**_

_Posted: 5/31/2184 by Luke Hilliard_

A colony bordering the Traverse in the Swampea Cluster was recently investigated by Alliance authorities and their findings prove quite troubling.

The city of New Sierra, known for its rich platinum boom of 2174, culture, and its Capital of Oman, has disappeared. Or the entire population of over three hundred thousand people at least. While no evidence suggests what happened here, many experts turn toward the possibility of mass suicide. However, the last confirmed mass suicide of this scale was in 2100 in the multi-cultural city of Saleh within the Kaloo Nebulae from religious fanaticism; all before humans had entered the galactic stage.

What makes this more troubling is that there are no bodies or any confirmed signs of struggle.

"They're gone… as if they got up and left to leave another planet." Says Lieutenant Motorola; a member of an Alliance division for Colonization Efforts, "Everything's normal. Except for, you know, the lack of people."

As stated previously, any evidence that could indicate the specific whereabouts of the missing population has yet to be found.

The Alliance News Network will provide more updates as the situation progresses.

_**-End of article-**_

**Topics other viewers found interesting:**

**1.)** Retired Sergeant reveals his life as a soldier and his experience during the Battle of the Citadel.

**2.)** Volus expedite Yandé trade agreement between salarians and turians: A marked increase in comparison to last fiscal year.

**3.)** Omega: Was it the same as it was ten years ago?

* * *

><p>COMMENTS (1,040,305)<p>

* * *

><p><span><strong>|Tᴏᴘ Cᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛs|<strong>**  
><strong>

**-ArCHmster89:  
><strong>experts.. riiiiight. Snce when did teh  
>alliance ever get anythin g right when<br>it comes 2 colonize or science they  
>all probably got taken by pirates<br>Battarian ones maybe the alliance  
>kiled them those bastards<br>**▲1,305 ▼10,034**

—›**Numberwhiles**[In reply to ArChmster89]:  
>What the hell is this? Would it fucking kill<br>you to use spend the extra eight seconds it  
>would take to proof read this shit smear of<br>a run-on sentence?  
>▲16,502 ▼885<br>**[sᴇᴇ 1,307 ᴍᴏʀᴇ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇs]  
><strong>

**-HornyPony|8|Porndaddy:  
><strong>Chilling to think of. Hope they find out what  
>happened. If I remember correctly, there's an<br>active volcano about seventy or eighty miles  
>away from the settlement. Maybe they all<br>jumped in or something. Source: I've visited  
>there about eight years ago.<br>(Holy shit I'm glad I'm not there now.)  
><strong>▲28,302 ▼612<strong>

**—›JigglyMarshmallow **[In reply to HornyPony|8|Porndaddy]**:  
><strong>You make a very valid point with the volcano,  
>but I'm obligated to disagree with you because<br>your name is Horny Pony Porn Daddy. #Sorry.  
><strong>▲9,086 ▼658<br>****[sᴇᴇ 8,200 ᴍᴏʀᴇ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇs]**

**-Bigbutts&Pussy:  
><strong>omg. pray for these ppl. god bless them  
><strong>▲1,402 ▼1,790<strong>

**—›WutduhH8 **[In reply to LikeBigbutts&Pussy]**:  
><strong>God bless them? Your names' fuckin'  
>Big butts &amp; Pussy.<br>****▲9,554 ▼1,002  
><strong>[sᴇᴇ 1,478 ᴍᴏʀᴇ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇs]**

* * *

><p>Tali finally looked up from the article to Juel.<p>

Juel shrugged. "Don't pay attention to the comments."

"Noted."

"Anyways, you always told me you thought the collectors had some weird fascination with humans and kidnapping them. Thought maybe it was linked."

Tali didn't say anything and read the article again.

When she was done, she stared into nothingness for a long while.

What Juel said made sense.

_A lot of sense._

"Tali?" Olasie said to get Tali out of her blank stare, "You okay?"

"I don't know." She answered with a whisper, "Just... thinking."

'Thinking' was putting it modestly.

She was haunted by it. Haunted by what the collectors had done to them.

And she remembered it all with perfect clarity.

In the span of mere seconds, Tali relived the fear and helplessness the same way she did on Ullipses. More so when the collectors had come and taken John away from her.

She forced herself out of the mind numbing trance and faced them both.

"When I was stranded on Ullipses, the collectors took the Normandy's entire crew. Took them and put them on their ship and left us behind."

Juel leaned in with a concerned look. "Left who behind?"

"Me and Wrex, Garrus and Liara. They only took the humans."

Olasie cut in. "But why? Why leave just you behind?"

Tali's stare went docile as she kept remembering. "I don't know, Olasie. But we went after them and got them out. Then the Alliance came. Then John died along with half the Normandy and the people who rescued us."

Olasie sat down next to Tali on her bed. "Keelah, Tali..."

Tali stayed quiet and leaned into Olasie's shoulder. "Yeah... it was bad."

Juel stood up and sat down next to Tali too. "Hey. We're here for you."

"I know." Tali nodded sadly, "Thanks guys."

"So, in other news, I've been going through the OSDs we found on Primerah again."

Tali scrunched her nose up and faced him. "What? We handed it all over to the officials when we got back. Everything we found is classified now."

"Yeah. I copied it. Well, some of it."

Tali rolled her eyes and Olasie did the same.

"Well," Tali said with a nod, "what did you find?"

"More of the same really. Spread sheets mostly. But there was some good stuff we didn't see before. That Dieeal guy was in charge of self-adaptation for the Geth too. To make sure they wouldn't wander off a cliff and the like."

"I see."

"Which makes me wonder," Juel decided to add, "why you're not more involved with all that post work up stuff like your dad is."

Tali felt herself wince.

His question was on the money. She should've been more involved. It's not like she didn't have the clearance or pull to be a part of her father's research division. Or Daro's for that matter. She was plenty qualified.

And just to drive the point home, she was the driving force behind all of this.

All the missions into geth space.

Or the recommitted drive to learn more about the geth.

Their doubled efforts in weapons research.

Her pilgrimage? That was what made this possible. Had she brought back a ship or a contract to some world instead, they wouldn't be here now, doing the stuff they did.

So why wasn't she more involved, indeed?

"...My father and Daro are more than capable of doing it themselves." Tali decided to answer.

"Three master minds are better than two." Juel argued with a small smile.

Tali didn't like how Juel was pushing what seemed to her to be such a mediocre issue.

"Look, Juel. I don't know why, okay?" Tali admitted with a slight growl, "At least I help in some way by joining up with the ground team."

Juel finally took the hint and backed off.

Olasie started to frown at the both of them.

"Tali, I wasn't questioning your capabilities." Juel mollified, "I'm just trying to help my friend."

"By questioning my decisions instead?"

He hung his head and scowled.

"Yes." Juel sighed in admission, "That's exactly what I'm trying to do. What _we're_ trying to do."

He pointed to himself and Olasie to drive his point.

"We just want you to be happy, Tali." Olasie agreed.

"Happy." Tali repeated flatly. She looked away from them both and didn't feel like saying another word.

"Tali..."

"I think it's best if you guys go."

"Come on." He murmured, "I'm sorry."

"Guys? Please go."

Tali ignored them and they both stood up from her bed.

"Okay, Tali." Olasie murmured, "We'll see you later."

And with that, they both left the room and she was left alone.

Minutes passed by and she stared at the wall across from her.

Tali kept thinking about it.

About being happy.

About what it meant.

The word sounded so... empty.

Empty because it died with the Normandy.

Because it died with her mom.

Died with her dad.

And her people.

But most of all, it died with John.

His death changed her. Changed her _radically_.

There wasn't a day that went by where she didn't think of him.

Tali couldn't escape it.

Nor did she even make an attempt to.

She _wanted_ to think of him. To remember his legacy.

And if it meant bathing in grief just to do it, then she'd get by and deal with it.

And because of that, she knew, that for her to be happy, she would remain, forever more, unhappy.

Surely, that was a disorder in some way.

_"...John."_ She whispered as a tear welled in her eye, _"what have you done to me."_

* * *

><p><strong>Later that day...<strong>

Miya'Kahto nar Chasuk, recently arrived from her pilgrimage, walked down one of the Neema's hallways looking for a woman named Tali'Zorah nar Rayya. Well, vas Neema now.

The turian didn't exactly know what her new name was. Fortunately enough, Tali'Zorah's reputation alone made her easy enough to find on the Flotilla's population roster.

Which lead Miya here to the Neema.

Miya kept walking and would, every so often, glance at the little black box in her hands to make sure it hadn't disappeared from her grip.

Finally, Miya arrived at engineering.

Around a dozen or so milled about the engine room. One of them had to be her.

Miya decided she would approach someone and ask.

"—ot it. Get the main out and we'll get that replaced."

"Excuse me, sorry to intrude, but I'm looking for a Tali'Zorah."

The engineer glanced at her for just a moment before thumbing the hallway behind him. "Yeah. She's right down there working on the power station to your left. The purple one."

"Thank you sir."

He went back to work and she went off after Tali.

When Miya went down the hallway, she took an immediate left and saw Tali's back facing her while she turned a dial and typed on a keypad.

"Tali'Zorah?" Miya said to get the woman's attention.

Tali stopped her button pressing and turned around immediately. "...Yes?"

Miya raised the box to her. "I— have something for you. Something your turian friend. erhm— _Garrus_, I think..."

Tali was taken aback with surprise and stared at the box in the girl's hands before finally accepting it with a flabbergasted stare. "...T—thank you... I wasn't expecting it so soon."

"Of course, ma'am."

"I have to ask. How did you—?"

"—Come across your friend? He's still on the Citadel." Miya answered, "And he asked me to pass this on to you when I was done with my pilgrimage."

Tali looked back at the box and couldn't help but scoff slightly at Garrus.

"Bless his heart, that bosh'tet." Tali grinned sadly before facing Miya again, "Thank you again. You have no idea what this means to me."

"Of course."

"Were you compensated?"

"Your friend was very generous with his money." Miya admittedly shamefully, "He payed me several thousand just to hold on to it. He didn't have to do that. He could've just used drone delivery."

"He's a sentimental man and he likes to help people. If anything, he should have given you more." Tali said jokingly. Miya giggled nervously at the joke and Tali took the hint the girl probably wanted to leave.

"Is this the ship you picked to stay on or are you just stopping by just to drop this off for me?"

"Just dropping it by, ma'am. I still need to get back to my home and see my parents."

"Welcome back to the fleet." Tali nodded, "Have fun at your after party."

"Thank you, ma'am. Enjoy your present thing." Miya said with a gracious smile before finally leaving.

Tali stared at the tungsten finish on the little box for a long while, her surroundings forgotten.

"Hiva?" Tali called to her left when she'd finished her inspection, "...Hey."

Hiva looked up from his computer to her.

"Mm?"

"Would you mind if I left for thirty minutes?"

"Why're you asking? Your shift was over with three hours ago."

Tali looked at her chrono. "Oh. well. I guess Yumah should come down here then."

"I'll call her. Good night Tali. See you in the morning."

"Bye."

She rushed out of engineering and felt her stomach churn a little from anticipation.

When she finally made it to her room, she went to her desk and pushed aside anything on that could've gotten in the way.

Then she sat down in her chair and took in a breath before unclasping the locks.

When she opened the little box, Tali's heart skipped a beat at the little black pendant resting delicately on rich plum colored felt.

It... It was _beautiful_.

She picked up the pendant and read the laser inscription that ran along its circumference.

**ᴇ ᴘʟᴜʀɪʙᴜs ᴜɴᴜᴍ**, she read through Khelish translation. Directly across the human phrase on the other side of the pendant was another inscription.

**Tɪᴘᴇᴛʜᴇ'ɪɴs'ᴋᴀs Kᴇᴇʟᴀʜ Hᴡᴀs'Nɪʟᴀɪs. **

_'Time is a gift for the heart and hope for the home.'_

She turned it around to see another engraving, this time of the Normandy.

And right below the silhouette was another quote from John that said simply: ᴛᴏ ᴜs.

Tali's eyes glossed over with tears after setting the pendant back onto the felt.

"..._Keelah, John_." She murmured between a slow cry of grief, "...God. _D__amnit_."

To stop herself from falling any further into despair, she took the deepest breath she could take, held it, and closed her eyes.

As she brought herself under some show of control, Tali delicately grabbed the pendant again and started working on flash fabricating a metal chain to make a necklace.

Ever so carefully, with the help of her multi-tool, connected the small chain to the pendent before clipping it around her neck.

By now, tears were rolling down her hot cheeks.

She wrapped a hand around the small black medallion dangling between her breasts before whispering in a choked sigh.

"To us, John."

_ᴛᴏ ᴜs._

* * *

><p><strong>Codex Entry: Omni-Tools<strong>

Omni-tools are handheld devices that combine a computer microframe, sensor analysis pack, and minifacturing fabricator. Versatile and reliable, an omni-tool can be used to analyze and adjust the functionality of most standard equipment, including weapons and armor, from a distance.

The fabrication module can rapidly assemble small three-dimensional objects from common, reusable industrial plastics, ceramics, and light alloys. This allows for field repairs and modifications to most standard items, as well as the reuse of salvaged equipment.

* * *

><p><strong>Misc. Information:<strong>

Olasie'Venn vas Neema, a Migrant Fleet Marine, is one of three of Tali's neighbors. While she is not mentioned nearly as often as Juel is, Tali has developed a relationship with Olasie as strong as Juel's.

The three of them have become close friends.

Olasie serves under Prazza's platoon as a squad leader. She will serve a bigger role later in the story.


	21. Disclosure

**|Chapter: 11|**

**|Date: 6/20/2184|**

* * *

><p>Cerberus.<p>

Oh, that word made Tali's blood **_boil_**.

And it all began with John's story of Akuze.

But that was before she found out about this.

Now it made her fall into a fit of rage.

When news came out with the conclave disclosing the attack on the Idenna, Tali was rushed to the Rayya to meet her father for a briefing of the attack for reasons Tali didn't know.

But she guessed it was because she'd experienced first hand Cerberus and their witty operatives.

Most of the ones she'd run across were dead of course, but that didn't lack from what she still learned from them.

"What's taking so long, Suvai?" Tali asked as she looked up to see what was going on.

"The docking cradle just malfunctioned. They're working on it now."

"Which cradle?"

"Four."

"Tell them it's the after shaft piston. It likes to stick to the static attenuator sometimes."

"Don't worry, Tali. They know." Suvai reassured.

"Sorry. When she's your birth ship, there's nothing you don't know about her."

"You and me both, kid."

"You're Rayya'n?"

He nodded. "Yes. I told them what the problem was." He careened his head to see the quarians out in their EVA suits repairing the problem, "But it seems they have fresh pilgrims working on it."

They both share a small laugh.

"There we go, Tanis, we got it working. You're free to approach." A controller called through his radio.

Suvai took the receiver into his hand and replied. "Copy, control. Preparing to approach."

Tali immediately sat down.

"Good." Suvai said approvingly, "You remember the nasty bump we get when we dock in four."

"Yeah." Tali muttered as she prepped herself, "I do."

* * *

><p>Tali closed the door behind her and saw her father already waiting.<p>

"Hi." She greeted simply.

"Tali." He turned around from his little window, "I'm sorry we didn't meet sooner. The fleet has been scrambling for a chance to bring the conclave and board together to discuss the attack."

"Of course."

"I hardly had time to schedule a meeting at all. This'll have to be brief."

"It's fine. I understand."

He motioned for her to sit down in the chair across his desk.

"You always do." He said before sitting in his own office chair and picking up a file. He opened it up and read through some of it.

"What's that?" Tali asked.

"It's the report on Primerah from Kal'Reeger."

Tali stiffly looked at the file.

"I know it's unrelated to why I brought you, but... He mentioned a video recording..."

"Yes." Tali nodded rather slowly in partial dread, "...What did he say exactly?"

"Nothing too committed to detail, I'm afraid." Rael answered, "He did mention family photos and such. Charming surprise."

Tali nodded again, albeit with a little less dread this time.

"They were." She said.

Rael closed the file and set it aside before getting to the point. "Tali, you've fought against Cerberus before, correct?"

"Yes."

"Tell me everything you know about them."

Tali wanted to shrug, but didn't. "If you're looking for weapons research, fleet deployment, or tactical execution... then I can't offer much. All I did was kill them and blow up their labs."

"I see." Her father panned in distant thought, "From what you've gathered then. What're they like?"

"Ethically ambiguous. Noncommittal. Or vice versa depending on the circumstance. Independent. Structured. Disciplined definitely."

"Then our assumption of them wasn't injudicious."

"No. Not at all."

Rael leaned back into his chair and stared at his personal library of books. "At first, I was inclined to believe it may have been retaliation... for something I do not know." He whispered pensively, "Cerberus did at least claim responsibility for the attack."

"Retaliation? For what?"

"For granting two human fugitives asylum." Rael said as he considered the Fleet's empty sense of security for a moment, "They were running from Cerberus."

He shook his head.

"Cerberus could've just asked." He murmured quietly.

"Cerberus doesn't ask for anything, dad." Tali offered, "There wasn't anything you, or anyone, could have done."

"They'll pay for it, Tali." Rael said grimly, "They'll pay."

"I don't have any doubts they will." Tali affirmed with a nod.

"I also have something else." Rael decided to say, "It's about the information you found during your pilgrimage."

"What is it?"

"Nothing I can say for certain." Rael sighed, "But it doesn't bode well for the future course of our people."

"Dad, tell me."

"The Reapers."

Tali sat bolt upright in her chair.

"You believe me? They believe me?"

"I do at least." Rael answered, "Yesterday, the admiralty made a unanimous decision to classify the videos and audio you provided regarding the reaper threat to only a select few. At least for now."

"What are you doing in the mean time?"

"Nothing I'm afraid. Daro has volunteered instead for immediate oversee of all investigative research and info taxing."

Tali let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding.

It didn't matter who was working on it. All that mattered were people who were in authority to care.

"You have no idea what this means to me... thank you dad."

"Don't thank me yet, Tali. You can thank me when I'm done building the porch on our homeworld."

* * *

><p>C.M.B-7732:Id11178-11-J786[Artcl#=]SNTtd:09:43:34GeST_tcp/ip:198.68.29.****

**To:** Garrus Vakrian [SB_ScPt:I_d#:454647.9Ob.90]

**From:** Tali'Zorah [SB_ScPt:I_d#:55640.6Op.89]

**Subject:** Hey. |C.M.B-7732:Id/11178-11-| _**Sent:**_** 09:43:34AMGeST**

_-Garrus. I've received all of your messages, and I have Shepard's gift._

_-Thank you._

* * *

><p>C.M.B-7732:Id11178-11-J786[Artcl#=]SNTtd:09:43:56GeST_tcp/ip:198.68.29.****

**To:** Tali'Zorah [SB_ScPt:I_d#:5564.6Op.89]

**From:** Garrus Vakarian [SB_ScPt:I_d#:454647.9Ob.90]

**Subject:** RE:Hey |C.M.B-7732:Id/11178-12-| _**Sent:**_** 09:43:56AMGeST**

_-Good, Tali._

_-Tell me. How are you holding up?_

* * *

><p>C.M.B-7732:Id11178-11-J786[Artcl#=]SNTtd:09:45:09GeST_tcp/ip:198.68.29.****

**To:** Garrus Vakarian [SB_ScPt:I_d#:454647.9Ob.90]

**From:** Tali'Zorah [SB_ScPt:I_d#:5564.6Op.89]

**Subject:** RE:RE:Hey |C.M.B-7732:Id/11178-13-| _**Sent:**_** 09:45:09AMGeST**

_-Better than I was six months ago._

_-Liara emailed me about a Lazarus Project? She sent it a couple months ago._

_-What is that about, exactly?_

_-Are you involved?_

* * *

><p>C.M.B-7732:Id11178-11-J786[Artcl#=]SNTtd:10:56:53GeST_tcp/ip:198.68.29.****

To: Garrus Vakarian [SB_ScPt:I_d#:454647.9Ob.90]

From: Tali'Zorah [SB_ScPt:I_d#:5564.6Op.89]

Subject: RE:RE:RE:Hey |C.M.B-7732:Id/11178-14-| _**Sent:**_**10:56:53 AMGeST**

_-Garrus?_

_-Answer me, please._

* * *

><p>C.M.B-7732:Id11178-11-J786[Artcl#=]SNTtd:10:56:53GeST_tcp/ip:198.68.29.****

To: Garrus Vakarian [SB_ScPt:I_d#:454647.9Ob.90]

From: Tali'Zorah [SB_ScPt:I_d#:5564.6Op.89]

Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:Hey |C.M.B-7732:Id/11178-15-| _**Sent:**_**01:21:01 PMGeST**

_-Hope to god I don't find the nearest quantum entanglement device to hack your files._

_-I'll do the same to Liara if I have to._

* * *

><p>The turian's Omni-tool prolonged its endless spree of elliptical shimmering that splintered the man's face with muddled colors of orange.<p>

The patterned sets of lights begin to exacerbate the irate Turian.

With a sigh, he reviewed Tali's messages once more before deleting them entirely.

He _couldn't_ tell Tali.

The mooring frown Garrus had only grew as the time passed.

The smell of by-product flared through his nostrils, but he didn't dare move.

The smell was bad enough to singe some hairs off a human head if they lingered long enough.

Yet he waited, unmoving, finger over the trigger, a single eye staring through the scope.

"Contacts." His radio squawked, "Second vector. Third window on the left side. They're walking down the stairs."

"Copy, Ghost-2. Retain disciplined target acquisition. Wait for the other group." Garrus murmured slowly, his pupils narrowing in anticipation.

"Wilco, Ghost-1. Retaining disciplined target acquisition." The batarian answered.

"Ghost-1, we have visual on second bounty." Another voice joined the COM exchange.

"Roger, Ghost-3. Tell Scavenger-1 to prep for retraction."

"Wilco, Ghost-1."

"Fire when they place the cargo on the table."

"Roger."

"Copy."

"Standing-by."

"Solar wind is picking up. Factor our distance. Bear the operation order."

As the seconds crawl by, Garrus could only speculate what Shepard's morality would think of him.

About what Liara would say.

The opinion Ashley would give.

Or the unseen frown Tali would have.

It didn't matter.

None of that mattered.

He pressed the trigger.


	22. Septic Failure

**|Chapter 12|**

**|Date:8/03/2184|**

**|Location: Aboard the Neema|**

* * *

><p>Nervous Stimulation was common knowledge amongst the fleet.<p>

Like, _really_ common.

If you didn't know about it and were a quarian, you were either dead, or an idiot.

And it wasn't just the quarians who'd made great use of NervStims.

Militaries from across the galaxy used them in the gauntlets they'd give their soldiers.

Which meant a soldier could load a thermo magazine or pull the pin on a grenade without fucking up and costing people their lives, or god forbid, their own.

While that was all well and good, it still didn't seem to be enough for the Migrant Fleet.

Quarian engineers, as a good example, had taken it a step further and turned their whole suit into a giant hub of feely-feely.

No engineer wanted to dive into the guts of their own ship and snag their suit on the sharp end of a pipe without even knowing.

But, as a quarian, if you didn't have an idea as to what full body stims were _really_ for, you had the IQ yield of a brick.

Even then, it didn't seem to be enough.

Some quarians didn't have a significant other.

So there were stims for that too.

Automatic ones.

Tali, who'd long debated about it between her and herself, got one.

She'd even made up an excuse that she was using it like an engineer was supposed to just in case someone chanced her with a snooping question.

Not that it mattered.

The receipt said otherwise.

And if John was up there watching her?

Well.

She'd be very, very embarrassed.

When she started the thing before bed, anything she'd conjured up hours earlier to just return it liquefied away.

"Oh my." She murmured through a squeak.

She let it continue until her climax and left her with a warm tingly feeling from head to toe that'd probably last for the next hour or so.

Still laying in bed, Tali sighed, turned on her back, and stared up at the ceiling.

That was quite the experience she thought to herself with a wide eyed look on her face.

She didn't remember the last time she'd done anything like this before.

Her thoughts went blank for a while and continued staring at that little spot on the ceiling.

Ten minutes pass and she started thinking of John.

A small smile spread across her face.

"...Hey John." She greeted meekly, "...Just thinking of you."

She ruffled the comforter and brought it up to her chin to snuggle under better.

"Wanted to tell you that I still love you." She said with a small whisper, "And that I think about you everyday."

She shook her head and her smile waned into nothing.

"...I miss you."

* * *

><p><strong>-6 hours later...<strong>

Tali's omni-tool gave a ring.

_…_

…

Startled from sleep, she pried her tired eyes open and looked up to see who was calling her at such a terrible hour.

Juel.

Of course.

She accepted the call and lay back down in bed.

"Juel? Keelah, why do you make such a habit of calling me so early in the morning, damnit?"

"Sorry." Juel said, "Ever since our day cycle's changed, it's been harder to contact you. Look. I'll change my schedule around to make it a little easier on you, okay?"

Tali closed her eyes and settled under her blanket. "Fine. Do it."

"I'll do it today. But that's not why I called."

"Why'd you call?"

He sighed. "Take a look for yourself."

She peeked one eye open and looked to see Juel's face get replaced to one of the Neema's hallways.

Both her eyes opened wide and she sat upright.

"Holy _shit_." Tali rasped, "Is that—"

"Yes, Tali. It's our shit alright. A couple thousand gallons of it sloshing around outside the septic tank."

"What the hell happened?"

Juel frowned. "A team was preparing it for hard transfer to the liveships. Cargo crane broke and it busted the septic tank. Now we've got anyone who's close by to help."

Juel zoomed in to show Tali the extent of the mess.

It looked _bad_.

"Keelah, it's all over the damn floor!" She cried as she teared up at just the mere idea of how bad it must've smelled.

His face came back to view. "Yeah. It's _bad_. We've sealed off the whole damn refuse station from the rest of the Neema. Now come on. I really need your help. Like, _now_."

"Okay. I'm up. I'll be right down."

Juel's face came back to the video. "Don't put _anything_ on. And leave your clothes."

"Right."

"Oh. And Tali? Turn off your olfacs now before you forget. The smell will never leave you if you don't."

"Okay."

"Bye. See you soon."

He ended the call and Tali grumbled before lazily falling back on her bed.

"Keelah." She sighed with a grumble, "I don't want to do this."

* * *

><p><strong>-10 minutes later...<strong>

As she turned the corner, the first thing she saw was Juel wiping his visor slick with brown sludge.

She couldn't help but cringe.

"Tali," Juel greeted when he could see again, "Good. You're here."

"Where is everyone?"

"It's just you and I for this hallway."

"So... we're the only ones that're going to fix the septic tank?"

"It's a two man job." Juel said, "One to weld, another to watch."

"Okay." Tali sighed as she stared at the puddles of shit just outside the closed door, "How're we doing this?"

"We're lucky actually." Juel started to explain, "The septic tank was half empty when the dumbasses on cargo duty broke it. So the poop water is only about... eh, ankle high. I sealed the door off to stop it from getting any more out here. But we're going to have to go back in."

"Keelah."

"Yeah. We've got to be quick about getting in there." Juel said as he prepped the door, "So you ready?"

Tali took a hesitant step forward into the murky water with brown and green flecks.

She felt like barfing.

"I open the door, we run through, I close it. Got it?"

She nodded lamely at her fate.

"Got it."

"Go!"

The door opened and the two rushed through.

Tali whimpered through a cry as felt both her feet sink ankle deep in watery shit.

"This— this is bad!"

Juel dashed in through right behind her and closed the door before nodding proudly at himself.

"If it brings you any solace, we've both made ample contributions to the septic." Juel said before pointing at a large floating nugget of poo, "Bet that one's yours."

"Juel."

"Yeah?"

"Shut the _hell_ up."

He waved his hands up in surrender before waddling over to a table and grabbing his tools.

"So, I had a drone get a look at the damage from inside the tank."

"And?"

"It couldn't tell or see much, so when we get inside—"

"We're going inside?!"

"—Oh yeah." Juel nodded.

"Why can't you just weld from the outside?"

"Would if I could. But I can't reach half the break with the torch. It has to be from the inside."

"This is _not_ what I had in mind for today." Tali sulked as she wrapped her arms around her chest.

"Don't sound so excited." He grumbled as he prepared his acetylene torch, "The oxy acetylene tanks are already down there and ready to go for us."

He put the torch into his pack before hooking it over his shoulder and grabbing the ladder.

"Hatch is right up here Tali." He said as he began climbing, "Come on."

Tali grumbled and followed.

"How many litres?" She asked when they made it to the top.

"Two tanks interconnected with two small ducts. About 75,000 litres total between the two of them."

She gave him a sad stare. "That's a lot."

"Yeah. it is." He said with a frown before unlatching the door, turning on his flashlight, and looking down into it.

"You need to know something." Juel started before giving her his full attention, "This is the large tank. We have to get to the small one through the duct to fix the hole."

"We are literally going to _swim_ in shit. That's what you're saying." Tali said with a monotone rasp.

"Yup. Let's get to it." He crawled down into the tank and Tali swallowed whatever was left of her pride before following in after him.

"Why didn't you ask Olasie or Enyah for help instead, you bosh'tet."

"Because you're available. Olasie's somewhere else and Enyah's at the bridge."

Tali grumbled.

Juel met the end of the ladder and sunk his legs into the refuse. "You know, it ain't that bad second time around."

As Tali sunk deep into the saucy brown, she couldn't help but feel her breath leave her.

This was _not_ a good day.

Just when she thought it couldn't get any worse, she realized she hadn't met the bottom yet.

She sunk deeper and deeper until the goopy mud like consistency met her thighs.

"Oh. Oh god."

"Oh, stop. We're in suits."

"Doesn't help." Tali breathed, "_Doesn't_ help."

"Come on. Through here." Juel pointed as he mucked toward the duct before clipping the flashlight to his helmet.

Tali's eyes narrowed even further. The ducts that connected the tanks? There was just enough room for their heads to poke just above the shit water. Everything from the neck down would be under.

This'd be the end of her.

She swore.

She mucked after him with a sigh.

When they reached the other side, Juel removed the torch from his bag and set it up with the oxy acetylene tanks.

"Okay." Juel breathed, "Let's get started."

Juel turned around and fought with the tubes to get everything set up.

"Be careful."

"I am." Juel said, "Don't worry."

The next minute or so was carried in silence as he got his equipment together.

Then, when Juel leaned in to get some better leverage to begin his weld, he slipped.

"Juel!"

To try and save him from his fall, his arms jutted out in front of him. But all he did was catch his arm and slash it from wrist to elbow across the serrated and jagged metal covered in biohazard.

What moments before was covered in brown shit, was now covered in blood.

_Lots of blood. _

He dropped the torch and felt nothing but shock. Seconds went by and he stared numbly at his bare and sliced skin.

"...Tali I—" He looked up and his empty stare met hers, "I'm—"

"—Going to be just **_fine_**— we have to get you out of here. **_Now_**."

She went to him and guided him back to the duct.

When they did, Tali froze. There was no way Juel could make it out of this one. Not without his arm getting bathed in this cesspool of sepsis.

"Juel... Let me see your arm." Tali, as delicately as she could, gave it a look and winced. A steady flow of blood stemmed through the deep cut. He'd definitely nicked an artery.

"Come on." Tali said, turning back to the duct, "We can do this. We just need to hurry."

"I am..."

"You're okay, Juel." Tali assured, "You're fine."

"Tali... I'm losing too much."

"No._ No **no**._ _Come_ on."

Tali went in and Juel dunking in neck deep himself. His bleeding arm was completely submersed.

"Juel..." She murmured, "You don't have a choice... Come on." before dunking in neck deep himself. His bleeding arm was completely submersed.

He dunked in neck deep himself. His bleeding arm was now completely under.

Tali wanted to cry at the idea of losing Juel like this. She couldn't lose more people after all the things she'd been through in her life.

Not like this.

They finally made it to the other side and made their way up to the ladder.

"Break, Break, Break, we've got an emergency in septic tank access!" Tali called out through the ship's PA when she made it to the top, "We have a suit breach, Infection grade three! I need help _now_!"

She helped Juel up, climbed down the septic tank with him, and waited by the table with Juel clutching his arm dripping profusely with blood.

"Tali... I'm dead."

"Shut up, Juel. You're not."

Not a minute later, a quarian cleaning team with an anti-septic foaming water hose burst in and immediately sprayed them both down before putting Juel on a gurney, spraying medi-gel on his arm, and sending him on his way.

When Tali tried to follow, one of the men stopped her.

"No! You're unclean! You're under quarantine until further notice!"

"So are you! You're in here!" Tali argued, "You're unclean too!"

"We've quarantined every hallway that leads to the infirmary to prevent this from spreading. _Stay_. _Here_. The less people out there, the better."

The door slammed shut behind them and Tali was left alone with only silence.

She fell to her knees, hands pressed closely to her chest as her mind raced to catch up.

"This _can't_ be happening…"

* * *

><p><strong>-Two Long Days Later...<strong>

**|Chapter 13|**

**|Date:8/05/2184|**

**|Location: Aboard the Neema/Medical Bay|**

* * *

><p>"I need to get my dictation done, Hyuji." Taahn grumbled to his assistant, "You can make me a memo for that later."<p>

"Sorry Taahn."

With a small huff, he went back to his computer before talking into his little mic.

"Let's see. Next patient is Juel'Kaan vas Neema, Date of birth 5, 5, 2158. Patient currently being held at condition 3 clean room for rehabilitation... Blood work shows a category 3 infection. Refer to lab work on patient's chart for review."

The doctor pulled up his previous correspondence papers.

"No Hematological problems. No history of excessive bleeding or clotting. Transfusions were seamless." He flipped the paper, "Denies skin rash or excessive reactions to foreign substances. No known medical allergies, severe or otherwise. Respiratory problems are not present. Denies asthma, coughing spells or KP. Endocrine levels green. Denies any cold, heat, or dextrose intolerance."

He looked over more of his papers.

"Abrupt history and physical exam was performed as patient was inducted into anti-septic spray room. No known case for hypotension. Pulse was low, measured at 45 at time of incident due to large laceration on his left arm starting distally from ulna to ulnar. Artery was severed."

BP was 72 over 40. Patient was in tachycardia before falling into bradycardia. Patient then had a life threatening cardiac arrhythmia and was treated with a therapeutic dose of electrical shock. Vitals stabilized after third attempt of resuscitation."

He shook his head. "Blood loss accumulative. Sepsis and gangrene are likely to follow. Organ failure to result. Flag me for future updates as the situation progresses. Refer to Dr. Ghoraan's correspondence for future information. Amputation recommended heavily. Decision to carry on with procedure will be decided at the end of the hour. End of record."

The doctor finished the dictation and leaned back into his chair.

"Damn poor soul. Pity if he doesn't make it. Especially for his girlfriend."

He webbed his fingers together and stared at the ceiling to try and remember her name. "...Tali'Zorah, I think."

He grabbed for the mic again before adding one more detail, "One more thing. Remember to contact Tali'Zorah on patient's status. That is all."

* * *

><p><strong>|Date:805/2184|**

**|Location: Aboard the Neema|**

* * *

><p>"I understand this must be very difficult for you, Tali." Taahn said as he began explaining to her about Juel.<p>

Tali nodded out of formality.

"Your other half had been put into a medically induced coma to—"

Tali stopped paying attention when she heard him say 'other half'. When the doctor was finally done speaking to her, she rose her hands up in apology.

"—I'm sorry. Juel and I aren't in, uhm, a relationship." Tali corrected awkwardly, "I don't want to sound so harsh, but he's just my friend."

"Oh." Taahn looked down at his papers embarrassingly, "Sorry. I just— I apologize."

"It's fine."

"Anyways. Juel's stable for now. But we won't know for how long. His recovery is looking bleak Tali. I'd recommend that you pay your respects in case anything happens."

She nodded numbly at the doctor. "O—okay."

They both stood up and made their way to his room.

The doctor stopped, waved a hand to the glass door silently to show he was in there, and left.

She stared at the polarized glass door for a long while and finally decided to knock.

"Juel? It's Tali."

Juel opened his eyes and stared at the door.

"...Tali?"

His voice made her frown.

It sounded like death.

"Can... I come in?"

"I'm not wearing a mask." He muttered dryly, "You okay with that?"

"You okay with me seeing you without it?"

"Just get in here."

"O—okay."

Tali opened the door, went through several jets of clarifying anti-septic mist, and entered.

Tali's mouth parted into slight shock when she finally got to look at him.

If he sounded like death, he certainly _looked_ like it.

"...Hey." Tali said cautiously.

"Hi." He murmured.

Tali's shoulders sagged and she shook her head. "Keelah, Juel. I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"Uh, because you almost _died_?" Tali said, exasperated that he'd ask such a stupid question, "_Look_ at you."

He took in a slight breath before grimacing and closing his eyes. "Look. Olasie and Enyah already told me the same thing." Juel said before turning away, "You don't have to pretend. I think I'm aware that I'm still dying."

"No you're _not_." Tali said immediately, "You're going to be just fin—"

"—and I'm _really_ getting tired of hearing that too." Juel interrupted, turning back to face her with his furrowed brows, "Just. _Stop._"

"Oh. Okay. What do you want me to say then?" Tali threw her hands up in the exaggeratedly, "Okay! Hope you make it! I'll bring flowers? We _care_ about you. _All_ of us."

He stared at her for a long moment with his dark halos before speaking.

"...Funny you say that, Tali." Juel murmured in a monotone. "...You know what I think?"

"...You know what I think?"

Tali's stare remained leveled.

"What." Tali rasped, "What're you thinking, Juel."

Juel graced her with a ragged looking scowl. "Two days alone gives you a lot of time to think." He began, "And it made me think about you _a lot_, Tali."

The way he said that drained her face of blood.

"W—What do you mean..."

"You've been _using_ me."

She was so stunned into silence, she felt her heart almost fail her.

"...And I didn't realize it until now." Juel continued, his face a mess of contempt, "_Everything_ you've done, Tali. Everything you've said. I was just some... _escape_."

He faced the wall across his bed and his eyes glaze over. "You're here because you can't _bare_ to lose anything else. You're _afraid_. And you will go to _any_ length to try and stop it. You're not here for me, Tali..."

He faced her with his cold and icy eyes _"...you're here for yourself."_

Tali felt something cold grow in her heart.

She took a step back and said nothing.

What _could_ she say?

She _was_ afraid.

_Very_ afraid.

Afraid of seeing someone she'd gotten to know after John's passing die.

Afraid of what was to come after if Juel wasn't going to make it.

Afraid to see that she'd been doing this more to protect herself than for him.

She'd been rationalizing away these past two days about how worried she was for Juel, when in reality, she was worried more for the impact this would make on her own sanity.

But Juel was also asserting that she'd been using him for the entirety of their friendship.

Was she though?

...Yes.

In a way, she was.

Juel kept his even gaze on her and didn't say anything either.

Her silence was his answer.

"Tali... I think you should leave."

"Juel, I—"

"Leave. _Now_."

She felt tears well up in her eyes at his condescending stare.

She felt herself crumble under him.

"...I'm—_I'm sorry_." She choked in a murmur before finally turning away to the door, _"God, I'm sorry." _

* * *

><p><strong>Hours Later...<strong>

She tightened the brace around the drum filter for the sixth rotation before finally shoving the manifold back into its slot and sitting on the floor up against a wall.

With her arms hanging limply over her knees, she stared numbly at the machine across from her and thought over Juel.

Hiva, one of the Neema's engineers, caught notice her sitting in one of the filter rooms as he crossed the hallway, and stopped whatever he was doing to see what was up.

"Tali...?" He said as he stood at the doorway to the filter room, "It's past your shift."

He glanced at his wrist watch, "Almost and hour past your shift, actually. What're you still doing here?"

The man sighed when his question went unanswered. Tali kept staring blankly off into space, Hiva largely ignored.

"...Thinking about Juel?"

Eventually, she nodded slowly.

He bit his lip and gave the ceiling a contemplative look. "Yeah. Visited him an hour earlier myself."

He decided to take a spot across from her by leaning on a desk. "He, uh—"

"—Doesn't look like he's going to make it." Tali sighed, "I know."

Hiva nodded and crossed his arms across his chest before staring at the floor.

"I bet it's not the only thing you're thinking about." He said finally.

Tali faced him for the first time since he'd entered.

"What do you mean."

"You're thinking of Shepard. You're afraid of losing someone else again. Maybe not as close as Shepard was to you... but close enough to make it hurt."

Tali was taken aback for the second time that day.

What the hell? How was everyone reading her mind today?

Once again, she remained silent.

Hiva nodded, mostly to himself, and said nothing.

"I've... lost so much, Hiva." Tali murmured sadly as she too stared at the grate just below her feet, "I just don't want to lose anything anymore."

"That's part of life, kid." Hiva said with as much compassion as he could put in his words, "Life's quite the pisser."

"What am I supposed to say to that?" Tali said, looking back up to him, "That's not helping."

"Didn't say it was supposed to." Hiva said honestly, "Just telling the truth."

"Hiva. I 'm not in the mood for a philosophy lesson."

"No I suppose you're not." He agreed, "But it certainly looks like you could use someone to confide in right now."

"I'd rather not." She said with the shake of her head.

"Your glass speaks a million, Tali."

She scowled. "What am I supposed to say? That I've lost everything? Lost _everything_ important to me? I tell myself that everyday, Hiva. And it's not making me feel any better."

"Maybe so. But you've made progress. Believe me."

"No, Hiva. I haven't." She grumbled frustratingly, "I don't know what the hell you're even talking about."

Hiva was a good man. Tali knew that completely. He had a great wife, a daughter he'd get to call his own, and was a fantastic engineer. Cared immensely for people. Bless his heart, the man tried to help everyone. And Tali really did appreciate his offer, but she _really_ didn't want it right now. All she wanted was to be alone.

"Tali..."

"Hiva, I appreciate the attempt of companionship, but I'm just— I _can't_ right now." She stood up and brushed past him to get out of here.

"...Fine. Okay." He said with the sad nod, "Keep your head on your shoulders."

She kept walking and didn't answer him.

Her thoughts were too jumbled to focus on a reply.

Thoughts about herself.

Thoughts about Juel lying on what pretty much amounted to his death bed while she desperately tried yoking herself out of wanting to admit she was more worried of herself.

Her way of thinking was ridiculously self-centered. She had no doubts about it.

But after seeing the man you'd loved so intensely die?

Grief would do that to you.

Tali took a bend down a hallway and into the Neema's small pathetic looking courtyard that doubled as a hydroponic garden. No one would say it openly, but many of the plants in the small courtyard were fake. Made to look good for hosting events or a place to rest outside of your home. Aside from the occasional off time, seldom did anyone ever come here. Talk of renovating the courtyard into another storage closet always came up every so often. But the place stayed. No one wanted to give up on such an exquisite luxury. Especially for a ship with shitty hallways and frayed ceiling wire everywhere else except here.

Tali found a bench and sat down before numbly staring at the plants around her. Then she closed her eyes and exhaled slowly.

For a long while, Tali kept her mind blank.

No Juel.

No Neema.

Or Normandy.

No reapers or collectors.

Or Garrus.

No Liara.

No John.

No Lazarus.

Tali opened her eyes again immediately.

_Lazarus_.

She'd forgotten about Lazarus for a while.

Thinking of Lazarus immediately made her think of Liara.

Then Garrus.

And then, of course, John.

Her hands, kept firmly at her side, flexed into fists as she churned all the thoughts again in her head. Made her brain melt a little if she had any say in the matter.

No matter how checkered and distant the lines were, they had to be connected.

They _had_ to be.

...Right?

Or was she finally losing it? Just... succumbing to some tinhat conspiracy by means of insanity?

Tali's empty and unblinking glare should've made her worried about that, but it didn't. Until she found out definitively what Lazarus meant, and whether or not John, Liara, and Garrus were connected, Tali supposed the brain melting and tinhat conspiracies would stay.

* * *

><p><strong>|Date:805/2184|**

**|Location: Undisclosed|**

* * *

><p>"Miranda." The Illusive man intoned between a plume of cigarette smoke, "Good to see you. How are you feeling?"<p>

"No worse for wear." Miranda answered, "Have you received my reports?"

"I did. I'm surprised to hear that we may be reaching our deadline sooner than expected."

"Yes."

"Excellent. How's neuroscience fairing?"

"Dr. Wilson and his team have proved invaluable. We are receiving, as per his reports, partial brainstem function. Should I forward you the relevant information?"

"Please."

"Done. Anything else?"

"No." He said with the shake of his head, "Carry on."

She nodded once, terminated the channel, and left him, once more, to simmer over his work and thoughts.

Things were running smoothly.

Rather _too_ smoothly, he would admit.

His appreciated the challenges that came with his job. Kept his mind sharp. His senses keen.

And while the news of the Commander's resuscitation (he used the term loosely) was all well and good, it wouldn't matter. It wouldn't have mattered if he would be alive six months ahead, two years ahead, or even now.

He still needed a ship. Still needed a crew and resources at his disposal.

And he still needed companions.

None of that was ready. And if it came to it, John would remain in a medically induced coma until he could get that all ready for him.

But everything was resting on John's resurrection. It was a _monumental_ gamble for Cerberus to invest in. But TIM knew it'd be worth it. It was better than buying shovels for the graves they'd have to digging if they didn't stop whatever the hell was consuming the homes of humanity's distant planets.

"I'd be lying if I didn't have my doubts about this, Shepard." He said before swirling the scotch in his glass, "Let's hope I'm wrong."

He hoped he would be _very_ wrong.


	23. Recovery

**-Present Time-**

**|Date:9/15/2184|**

**|Location: Aboard the Neema|**

* * *

><p>He shouldn't have been standing.<p>

But he was.

He'd been staring at the mirror for the better part of twenty minutes, looking distantly at where an arm was supposed to be.

No arm anymore.

And there wasn't any getting used to it right now.

It felt like a ghost.

He still felt his arm.

Still felt his fingers.

But, at the same time, he didn't.

His dark eyes, teary from both pain and depression, finally close as he took in a trembling breath. Not having an arm was going to be a drastic change in life style. Under normal circumstances, he would've gone off to get a consult from a specialist and have his insurance pay his way through getting a new one. But he didn't live on a planet.

He lived in a cloud of star-ships that didn't have giant hospitals and specialists for new arms. Nor did they even pretend to have the luxury of having the resources for such a costly surgery. For now, he would have to get by with just his one.

He sighed, wiped the tears away with his only hand, and settled himself back into bed and closed his eyes. Good timing too. Had he been standing a second longer, the doctor would have caught notice of him and turn whatever was left of the hour into a lecture.

"Hey there Juel." The doctor called through the intercom, "How're you feeling?"

"...Don't you have other patients to deal with?" Juel asked with a crass sounding grumble.

"Yes, I do. But you lost an arm. Usually when things like that happen, you're triaged as priority."

Juel didn't say anything.

"Look, Zumi's coming by again to check your vitals. Just rest."

He rolled his eyes. "Right. Okay."

Just before the doctor was about to leave, Juel instantly remembered something.

"Hey, wait."

"Yes, Juel?"

"Uh... can you tell Tali to come by sometime...? It doesn't have to be now. Just... sometime this week."

"Sure. I'll call her."

Juel nodded his thanks. "...Thank you."

The PA clicked off and Juel was left alone again.

Absently, he felt the stumpy end of his long gone arm and winced at the tender flesh. He kept that up for several minutes.

"Look at me Samah." Juel murmured with a blank and emotionless stare into nothingness, "What do you think...?"

Nothing answered him.

He wiped his sweaty brow away before sinking a little deeper into his bed.

"I'm alone again." Juel said quietly.

The visits came less frequently.

Then they stopped altogether.

No one had visited him for a month.

Not Olasie.

Not Enyah.

Or Hiva.

And definitely not Tali.

He'd pushed them all away. Told them every time they'd try to come not to come and see him.

Stupid.

So. _Goddamn_. Stupid.

The silence that consumed the room chipped his sanity away.

The silence made his blood boil.

Made him feel rage.

"I'm. Alone. _Again_." He repeated with a tremble.

He grabbed for one of his books and threw it with as much anger as he could and watched the fluttering pages whisk about between its cover before smacking up against the glass wall and falling.

"_What is wrong with me?!"_

He breaths were shallow and ragged.

He forced in a painful lungful of breath and held it to calm himself down.

Once again his timing was good.

Nurse Zumi came in shortly after and greeted him.

"Hi Juel."

He exhaled quietly.

"...Hey Zumi." He mumbled as he settled himself again into bed.

His back was sweaty.

He hated feeling sweaty.

She started logging his vitals and did a brief physical of his entire body.

He'd long since forgotten how embarrassing it was to your whole body checked over by a female nurse. But she'd been caring about it and did everything she needed to make it comfortableas possible.

"See anything?" Juel asked, "Still good, right?"

"Nothing yet, Juel." She answered, "You're still okay."

"How do I look?"

She gave him an unseen smile and pat his hand. "Better than you were the weeks before."

"You—uh... you busy?"

"Not really, no." Zumi said, "Why?"

He frowned. "I guess I just... could use some company."

"Hmm." She frowned and nodded to him before sitting down on the stool next to his bed.

"Thanks, Zumi."

"Of course Juel. I care about you."

She typed the rest of his vitals on her omni-tool. "So... why haven't your friends been coming to see you? I've noticed it's been a month... I didn't want to say anything because it looks a little personal right now."

Juel held his head low. "I told them not to come anymore."

"Why would you do that?"

"I don't know, Zumi." He faced her with his lifeless eyes, "...I don't know."

They both sat in silence without either of them saying a thing.

* * *

><p>She sat at her desk and stared at the small little frayed pieces of fabric around her hands. She'd pick at the strands every once in a while absently, her mind entirely elsewhere.<p>

It'd been a month since she'd seen or heard from Juel. The only way she'd been able to keep up with him really was through his doctor. Other than that, any details of his existence were all but vacant. All she could get out of him was that he was still alive and getting better, albeit slowly.

That and him losing his arm.

When she received news of that, her heart sunk. His life would be different forever. Her omni-tool rang from a text message and she opened it.

_|Tali, Juel has requested that you visit him in his room whenever you feel the need. -Dr. Taahn.|_

She read the message, and did the only thing she could do. Frown.

He hadn't wanted anybody to visit him this past month. _Especially_ her. Why the sudden change in heart? She grumbled something unintelligible and buried her head in her arms.

The idea of visiting Juel filled her with dread.

Part of her wanted to just... disappear.

To just... run from her problems. Run away from Juel and leave everyone she'd ever known on the Neema behind.

But she couldn't.

_She wouldn't_.

She tried running away from the Normandy. Tried running from everyone she'd ever known in her past life on pilgrimage.

Even John.

Look where that got her.

Nowhere. And now she was nothing more than a shell. Empty. There wasn't any guessing what that would do to her if she tried running again.

Her life felt like a chore now.

Her life felt like... labored living.

And someday?

Someday it would end.

And if there was an afterlife, she'd join John again in the void.

A piece of her told her to just _suck_ it up.

_Just deal with it, Tali. You're just being **dramatic**._

But was she?

She swallowed hard.

No. She didn't think she was being dramatic at all.

John _died_.

Died in _vacuum_.

Died fighting for what he _believed_ in.

She lost him. Lost the man she loved forever.

She felt every moment she ever had with him in the span of seconds. Tears came soon after.

Every hug and every caring stare. Every touch and smile. Every laugh and grin...

All the times she'd spent beating around the bush, hoping that he'd finally hear her feelings of love? She regretted that. All of it.

_"I'm sorry, John..."_ She murmured through a trembling breath, _"I'm so sorry..." _

She took in the deepest lungful of air in her life and willed away the sobs into the deepest part of her heart. She could feel the mass of ice in her chest grow a little bigger. She knew John would never have wanted to see her like this. Not now. Not ever.

He would want her to find solace amidst the pain and to move on in life.

She shook her head slowly.

Move on in life.

The words echoed in her thoughts.

_And they taunted her._

* * *

><p>Wilson took a testing sip and sighed.<p>

"Mhm. Perfect."

"Perfect?" Miranda asked as she turned to him with a surprised look on her face.

"Just talking about the coffee, Miranda." Wilson said with a slight chuckle as he went back to his list, "So. Cranial nerves are integrated. Basic motor and sensory innervations on the face are working... Corticospinal tract conditioned green, and the posterior column-medial lemniscus pathway's good."

Wilson suddenly frowned.

"But the spinothalamic tract hasn't been completely, uh... rendered yet. We're going to have to test its functionality."

"…and what does that entail, Dr. Wilson?"

Wilson gave Miranda a serious stare. "...Waking him up."

Her stare turned cold.

Sensing that she didn't like his answer, he took another sip of coffee before speaking. "I see you don't like that. Do you have any other options or suggestions that could yield results?"

"...No." She answered quietly, "I'm not a Neuroscientist."

She went back to stare at her computer screen.

"That doesn't mean your input isn't taken into serious consideration. You're still my boss. What you say goes."

Miranda stared blankly at the monitor and grimaced slightly.

"Say we do this. What would we be expecting?"

"Miranda. I can't answer that."

"Make an educated guess then, Wilson."

He chewed on his lip before frowning in thought. "Uhm... Primary motor cortex might trigger. Seizure? Stroke? Diabetes? I don't know. Like I said, I'm speaking in total hypotheticals here. Everything else, if things go to plan, will respond positively to the Commander's loss of comatose."

"...Will he feel anything?"

He set down his mug and stared at the John's naked body.

"Likely so. It's going to be a very painful and rude awakening."

"What does the spinothalamic tract even do exactly?" Miranda asked as she reached for her cup of tea.

"It overlooks... more callous contact with foreign exertive forces." He explained with his carefully picked out words, "Notably pain."

"For what purpose do we test him under that duress, Wilson? We've tested every other function of his brain _without_ him being awake."

"Pain affects all parts of the brain." He said calmly, "It's going to tell us exactly how well wired his state of mind is."

"There has to be a better way." Miranda said. "There _has_ to be."

"Miranda. Every second we touch the man, is a risk we take. Each of them monumental. I understand the caution you want to take. But no risks? Means there's not progress."

She wanted to argue.

Wanted to tell Wilson he was wrong.

And when she couldn't find a fault in his logic, she'd default into having the entire Neuroscience team decide what to do.

"...Give me a risk assessment then, Wilson. We'll test him when you've developed a procedure with your cohorts."

"Give me eight hours and I'll have it on your desk in the morning, Miranda."

"Good." She stood up and headed for the door, "Good night, Wilson. I'll see you after breakfast tomorrow."

"Good." Wilson shouted as he put on his eyeglasses, "It's your favorite tomorrow. Powdered eggs with ham and cheese."

She rolled her eyes and his sarcasm. He knew she hated powdered eggs with ham and cheese.

She sighed and gave him a shrug. "It's a necessary forfeit, Wilson."

"With the work we're doing? It'd be nice to eat some real shit for once." He said before glancing back to Shepard, "And it's all for one man."

"For humanity." She corrected.

"Yeah. Well... when this is all over? You, Jacob, and I are going for the finest steakhouse on earth. My treat."

"I'll be obliged to accept the invitation when Shepard's alive."

"Good night, Mrs. Lawson. Until tomorrow."

"Until tomorrow." She repeated.

The door closed and Wilson was left by himself for the third night in a row.

He sighed and reached for his mug of coffee and downed whatever was left in four gulps.

Only recently had John been resuscitated back into the living.

Or whatever passed as living.

For all they knew, all they'd done was shell billions of credits to revive a fruit.

Or they'd actually done it. Brought him back just the way he was.

"Either way. we'll find out soon enough." Wilson grumbled before he started his risk assessment paper.


	24. Lesson from Memory

**-Present Time-**

**|Date:9/16/2184|**

**|Location: Aboard the Neema|**

* * *

><p>"Juel…"She whispered through a little speaker on the other side of his clean room.<p>

Since Juel's back was facing Tali while he lay in bed, she couldn't tell if he was sleeping or not.

"Juel?" She said again to see if he was up, "...You awake?"

He stirred slightly and turned around to see who was talking to him.

When he realized it was Tali, he felt surprised that she'd even consider coming to see him after their fallout.

"Tali?" He answered as he opened his dark sunken looking eyes, "Hey. You actually came."

Tali stared for a moment longer before nodding slowly to him. "...Should I come in?"

"Yeah." He said with the barest hint of a smile, "You should."

He coughed and she couldn't help but slightly cringe at the sound of phlegm gurgling in his lungs.

She walked through a clarifying jet of antiseptic mist for a minute or so before finally entering his room.

"Keelah, Juel." She said with a mumble, "You still look like shit."

He laughed and it caught her off guard.

"Yeah, I do." He answered, "Pun intended I see."

"Ah." She rubbed the sudden kink in her neck, "Bad choice of words. Sorry."

He sighed as he showed Tali his stumpy limb, "They didn't let me keep the other half as a souvenir. Pity."

"Biological hazard I'd imagine." Tali panned with a slight shake of her head, "You doped up right now?"

"Of course."

Tali nodded and brought up a stool to sit on. Then she stared at her wringing hands to think of what to say next. She knew they were both thinking about their fight, but she'd rather just forget about it entirely and just move on.

The silence after between them was a little awkward.

"Uhm..." Juel winced slightly, "...Tali?"

She looked back up. "...Hm?"

"I'm sorry... For what I said to you."

Tali didn't say anything and Juel took the hint to continue.

"...What I said was wrong."

Tali kept staring and shook her head slowly. "What you said wasn't wrong, Juel." Tali murmured without looking him in the eye anymore, "But you _really_ are my friend. You know that."

"I know, Tali. I know. We're still friends."

Her shoulders perked up slightly when he said that. Then she gave him an unseen smile before looking at his stump again.

"Hey. Let's find you a good doctor on Illium. Patch you up just the way you were."

"Uh huh. Who's to say my kidneys would still be intact. Or even inside me."

"Then the Citadel."

He frowned. "…and you have the money?"

"I do. John gave it to me before he died."

"Tali."

"No." She said to cut him off, "It's my money. And I'll spend it on whatever and whomever I want."

"You shouldn't have to. You shouldn't have to do that for me."

Her gaze suddenly fell to the floor.

Shortly after, she stood up from the stool before looking out to the polarized glass that made up his room.

"Would you like to hear a story?" Tali asked.

He shook his head and smiled weakly.

"Do I have a choice?"

A frail laugh bubbled from her. "No."

"Well then." He waved to her with his only hand, "Go ahead. Start."

* * *

><p><strong>A long while ago...<strong>

**|Date: 8/31/2183|**

**|Location: Serpent Nebula/ The Citadel/Zakera Ward/Jumai Inn & Suites: Hotel Complex/Pending Normandy SR1 Forced R&R Deplyment|**

* * *

><p>John, with a meek looking grin, brewed his coffee, poured it into a mug, and took a sip before frowning.<p>

His coffee tasted like licking a bitter brick. Sugar and creamer would probably help.

As he reach for the creamer and mixed it in to his cup, he stopped halfway and stared at Tali sleeping in his bed before sighing quietly.

They were on vacation, amazingly enough.

Waiting for a new lead on Saren or an assignment from the Council or Alliance. Ordinarily, John wouldn't have considered the idea of doing R&R like this, let alone time off at all. But they'd _all_ been working hard, and they'd completed everything they needed to do without anything new coming up.

So far, it'd been nearly a week and a half of nothing. Oddly enough, Shepard didn't feel compelled to worry too much about it either. In just a couple days time, they'd be at it again, whether or not they had a mission to do.

With his creamer mixed in, he poured in some sugar and glanced at Tali again.

Ah.

Tali.

She was probably going to be really upset at herself when she'd come to realize whose bed she'd fallen asleep in.

Watching a vid late into the night would do that to you.

John checked his wristwatch and nodded to himself.

Eight thirty in the morning.

Best to get started with the day, he supposed.

"Hey. Tali." John whispered with his mug in hand, "Wake up."

He put a gentle hand on her shoulder and gently shook her.

She stirred from sleep and beaded her eyes open before looking up to John.

"Good morning there," He smiled, "Sleep well?"

Tali yawned and closed her eyes again before snuggling under the covers a little more.

"Mhm. Yeah."

Then Tali caught up with whose bed she was sleeping in. She opened her eyes, rather blankly John might add, and rose up to her elbows. "Wait... Did I—"

"Fall asleep watching Blasto with me?" He sipped his coffee with a grin, "Yes. Yes you did."

She stared at the comforter laying on top of her.

"Oh. How'd I get on the bed?"

He turned around and went through something in his duffel bag before taking another long gulp of his brew.

"Carried you." He said finally.

Her cheeks flush into a hazy cerise. "And where did you sleep?"

"Sofa." He sighed, "Pretty comfortable."

Tali sat up and put her bootless feet on the ground and stretched.

"...Where'd I put my boots?"

He pointed toward the front door. "I put them over there. Along with your Realk thing."

"Thanks."

Shepard finished the last of his coffee before walking into the bathroom to wash his face.

Tali chided herself mentally.

It didn't take too much of Tali's imagination to think sleeping in his room like this wasn't particularly polite.

Other than it invading his space and stealing him of a bed, was that she probably overstayed. _Especially _since she had a room of her own.

Whoops.

"Hey, John?" Tali said with a frown, "Keelah. Sorry. Sleeping here was pretty rude."

John gave the mirror he was looking at an exasperated look.

Oh, here we go.

Tali's lack of ego stroking her own self-worthlessness.

"You're kidding me, right?" Shepard rasped with a monotone, "You're kidding me."

Tali's eyebrows scrunched up in confusion.

"What?"

He faced her from the bathroom since she was still sitting on the bed. "Tali, sometimes I wonder if the Migrant Fleet's just a giant circle-jerk of apologies."

He put on his best impression of a quarian just to make his point. "Oh, I'm sorry for existing. I'm also terribly sorry for breathing. Oh, you needed that? Sorry."

She couldn't help but sneak a laugh as he returned to the sink. "_Sorry_. I just don't want to be one of _those_."

"One of what?"

"You know," Tali said as she got up, "that one friend that everyone hangs out with even though they'd rather not."

"Tali?" He said as he finished rinsing his face, "I'm going to say this once: _I enjoy your company._"

She put on her Realk. "You mean that?"

"Yes." He answered, "You're my best friend, Tali. I mean that."

Tali slipped into her boots, laced the knife around her leg, and smiled at that thought.

Being John's best friend.

She stood at bathroom's door and gave him a smile. "That means a lot, John."

"It should." He said before grabbing his toothbrush, "What're you doing today? Have any plans?"

Tali perked up slightly. "None. Want me to tag along with you?"

He started brushing his teeth before nodding. "Yup. We need to go shopping. Stuff for the Normandy mostly."

"I'd love to join you."

When he finished brushing, he walked out of the bathroom to get his own shoes on.

"But before that, we need to get some breakfast," John said, "that okay?"

"Maybe somewhere quarian friendly?"

"Of course." John said as he clipped a holster onto his belt, "But you shouldn't worry. You got a Spectre watching your back. You'll be fine."

"I hope so." Tali panned as she waited for John to finish getting ready.

"If anyone gives us any problems, or so much as a dirty look...? I'll kick their ass."

"John."

"Yeah, I know. I'm just kidding."

He checked his wallet, omni-tool, and handgun.

"Ready?" Tali asked as she opened the door.

John nodded. "Yup."

They both show themselves out and start walking down the hallway.

"Hotel's nice, wouldn't you say?"

"Pretty extravagant." Tali agreed.

"I think you've all deserved it." John nodded, "A break from gunning after Saren is definitely a welcoming change."

"Yes. Yes it is."

They rear the corner and see Garrus at his doorway looking out the window across from him.

"Shepard. Tali. So good to see you," The turian greeted as he caught wind of them, "Where were you two?"

"Nowhere?" Tali replied tightly with a quirked brow, "Why?"

Garrus' smile grew. "Hey. No worry. I won't tell."

"Tell? ...Garrus?" Tali replied, nonplussed.

"Tell what?" Liara's head poked out from behind Garrus before sipping on her fresh mug of tea.

Garrus leaned in dramatically toward Liara. "Tali slept in Shepard's _room_."

Liara feigned surprise. "What? Oh _my_."

"What the hell." John grumbled, playing into the joke, "You got Liara in your room, you hypocrite."

"I only came here for the tea." Liara said with a smile as she raised the mug up before patting Garrus on the shoulder, "I'll be leaving now."

The three watched Liara walk out in her pajamas and slippers back to her own room.

"Yeah." John grumbled, "_Right_."

"Hey. She said she didn't have any tea in her room." Garrus said with a shrug.

John waved Garrus off. "Mm. Yeah. Come on Tali."

John gave Garrus the stink eye and watched the turian guffaw at him before closing his door.

"So. Breakfast." John began as they made their way to the elevators, "There's this place I want to check out around the corner."

Tali nodded.

"Okay. Well, I _do_ have food on the Normandy," Tali reminded him, "I can just eat that—"

He let out a single chortle and couldn't help but grin at her.

"Do you do that to avoid seeing me?"

"Oh, _totally," _Tali said sarcastically, "This bosh'tet just can't take a _hint_."

John laughed and pressed a button for the lift. "Look. You're going to eat at a nice restaurant like a lady and enjoy yourself. That's what R&R means, right? You know? Rest and Relaxation?"

"Right."

"I know it's a little weird. Believe me. But we've got a vacation quota to meet." John said as their elevator arrived, "Otherwise my pay gets docked."

Tali laughed. "Ironic."

"Ironic indeed."

They entered the lift and descend down to the main lobby. From there, they exit the foyer onto the street, and walk down a block.

"I'm glad you decided to pick something besides the Presidium for once." Tali said as they continued their stroll down the sidewalk, "A little change of pace is nice."

"Would agree. If the snobs aren't suffocating enough, its the politics."

They arrived.

"Here it is." John said as pointed to the sign above them.

"Yan'Sues! Best eatery in town." Tali read, "Where'd you find out about this place?"

"Online." John answered as they entered through the door, "Good reviews. And guess what. Quarian friendly service."

"That can't be a coincidence." Tali said with a snort.

"Ah, yeah. I looked up places to eat last night."

Tali smiled and felt rather touched by John's thoughtfulness.

"That's sweet, John. You actually had the fortitude to think of me."

"Uh... yeah? Of course. When haven't I?"

"Never really." Tali admitted with a sincere grin, "Thanks."

A waitress introduced herself at the restaurant's foyer and brought them to a booth next to a good view of the Citadel.

As they sat down, the waitress set down a mug for John and poured him his second cup of the day before fetching Tali some water.

"Can't help but shake how odd it is doing this." Tali started when their waiter left, "Doing what we do...? And here we are. Sitting down for coffee and an omelette."

John sipped his second cup and shrugged. "If it helps, I'll remind you again we're off to the Normandy next week. "

"I know." Tali replied, " I just don't think this kind of lifestyle is for us. At least for now."

"At least for now." Shepard repeated as if the words couldn't have been any truer.

She looked out the window and to the dozens of passerby. Every once in a while, a person's shadow would come across their table and pass over her.

"At least for _you_, I should say." Tali corrected suddenly, "I don't think my life will ever get this good."

His smile waned slightly as he set his cup down.

"And why's that."

Tali gave him a look and decided to make a joke. "The Fleet doesn't have restaurants. Or coffee."

He tipped his mug slightly toward her. "Fair point."

The waitress came back with a pair of menus before giving Tali her water and John a complimentary cup of orange juice.

"I'll be back when you're ready to order your food." She said with a smile.

John took the menu and started browsing while Tali went through the dextro version on the back.

He looked up from his menu to her and couldn't help but smile. The sun had been in just the right spot for John to make out her dainty nose and beautiful eyes.

My.

She was beautiful. John couldn't imagine what it'd be like had it been off.

His smile never faded. And neither did his stare.

"See anything good yet, Tali?"

"Mmm..." She kept her gaze on the menu before finally nodding, "I think."

"You sure?"

"Yes. Though I'd imagine it to be much more enjoyable on a plate." She pouted slightly.

"You're probably right."

Tali sighed and looked up from her own menu to him. "You know, John...? Someday, I hope I can do this without a bucket on my head."

John brought up his omni-tool. "Here. I'll add that on my list of things to do."

"What?"

"We'll take Rannoch back. Then I'll open up a dingy little eatery just for you. A couple blocks down from your house."

"You know, I'd like that" She said as she snuck a laugh before shaking her head, "Do you even know how to cook?"

"My mom and dad always told me I made some mean chicken and chili."

"I don't even know what that is."

"You will when I make a dextro version."

"I'll hold you to that."

The waiter came back.

"What would you like, guys?"

"The YanSue's special omelette, please. Sausage to replace the bacon." He put down the menu and faced the waiter, "So you guys actually have a purifier in the back for my lovely friend?"

Tali blushed slightly at the John's remark.

"Absolutely. Stak-Aid packets and all. Just tell us what you want, and I'd love to purify it for ya'."

She wrote down John's order on her pad and then waited for Tali with a grin.

Tali buried her head back into her menu. "Uhm... the number two turian breakfast combo, please?"

"Right away." The waiter left again.

"Here. Let me forward you the stuff we need to go over today at the market." John did as promised and sent her a list.

She received the bulleted email and started skimming.

"Anybody else coming with us?"

"Nope." John shook his head, "Just you and me."

"Garrus and Liara were definitely out of the question I guess." Tali noted, "But what about Kaiden or Ash?"

"Both have stuff to do for the Alliance right now. They still fall under their chain of command. "

"And what makes you the exception?"

"Because I'm a Spectre." John shrugged, "The trade off for written reports, Tali, is verbal ones."

"And you'd prefer the former?"

John shook his head. "I'd rather do neither."

Tali shook her own head and laughed. "That isn't a choice, John."

"No, I suppose it's not."

"So none of them." Tali said as she graced the salt shaker with a long stare, "What about Wrex?"

John thought about it for a moment. "Haven't thought of him actually. Pretty sure he's at the arcade."

"Arcade? What would he be doing at an arcade?"

"Combat sims." John answered, "State of the art. Top of the line stuff."

"Well. I guess he's out then too."

"Yup."

The waiter came back with their food and put it in front of Tali. "'ere you go, hun. Nice and hot."

"Thank you."

"And for you, sir." She said as she set down his plate.

"Thanks."

John put on his desired sauces and went in with his fork.

They ate in silence for a minute or so before John finally decided to speak.

"You know, Tals? This is a blessing."

She looked up from her food pouch and cocked her head to the side.

"How so?"

"Being together like this." John said as he fumbled with his napkin, "I haven't had someone to spend time with for a long while, Tali. And the year we've spent, you and I, has changed that."

She felt her heart start pounding.

Ugh.

She hated it when it did that.

"...I guess, I just wanted to say that being around you is as easy as breathing. I just wanted to thank you for that." John murmured quietly.

The way he worded that caught up with him.

"Well. I sound like a creep, don't I?"

"_No._" Tali spat awkwardly to try and save him from feeling like a weirdo, "Absolutely not."

"No?"

"I know what you meant." Tali said with a small reassuring smile, "You're not a creep."

She put a hand on his and pat it before letting her voice fall into a caring whisper. "You have no idea how special it is for me to hear that."

All John could do was stare lovingly at her.

Part of him wanted to tell her right there.

Just a simple 'I love you.'

But he stopped himself.

And no matter how disappointed he was about the fact, it wouldn't make him realize that Tali had to stop herself from doing it too.

"I care about you, Tali." John said as his smile turned soft with compassion, "Really, I do."

"I know. I do too."

"Good." John said, returning back to a more cheery mood, "Now let's eat before our food gets cold."

* * *

><p><strong>Around an hour later...<strong>

"_This one wishes for you to elaborate."_

_"_Elaborate? Okay..._" _John repeated as he pointed to one of its products, "Look. Right here. Forced warranty co-pay that's eighty percent the original price. That's ridiculous."

_"This one holds their merchandise in high esteem."_ It replied.

"Well apparently not," John grumbled, "if the customer has to pay for a half year warranty at nearly a thousand credits a month."

"_If you do not like this one's bartering system, you may choose another seller."_

"I suppose so." John said as he began wheeling his cart away, "Let's go, Tali. We'll go off and find someone else."

As they walked out of the store, John faced her with a frown on his face.

"Can you believe that? Forced premiums and warranties eighty percent the price of everything in his store? Bull shit."

"It _is_ bull shit." Tali agreed, "If anything, _I'm _your warranty and guarantee." Tali joked.

John chuckled. "Yeah. What use is a guarantee when I have you?"

"Exactly."

They both laugh. As they walked, a volus shopkeeper waved to get their attention.

"Earth-Clan!"

John slowly stopped the cart and glanced at Tali before looking to the pudgy looking man just to make sure it was him he was calling for. "Me?"

"Yes!"

John shrugged and went to him while Tali followed.

"What can I do for you?" John asked.

"Ah. I'd rather say it's what I can do for _you_. _-skeesh- _I see you've tried to sell your goods to that ridiculous hanar! _-skeesh-_ I thought maybe we could make a deal."

"My ears are open." John said, "Refer to my tech expert here. She knows more about the equipment we're handling than I do."

"Ah. _-skeesh-_ very well. I'll consult to your clanless technician."

John couldn't help but let that ring in his head.

_...Clanless? _

_What?_

John's brows scrunched up in confusion as he glanced to Tali behind him for a second. "...Excuse me? Clanless?"

"Yes." The volus said, unaware of John's fairly large frown, "Looters and whatnot. _-skeesh-_ Good for only handling second hand trash and the like. You know what I'm talking about, yes?"

"No," John said rather aggressively as he tried catching up to the blatant douchery that came out of the guy's mouth, "I actually **_don't _**know what you're talking about."

"How could you not?" The volus said as he turned to Tali herself, "Tell him, servant: How did you end up here with the earth-clan? Presumably through one of the collective servitudes on the Citadel, correct?"

John was stunned into silence.

Servitude?

As in... contracted _slavery_?

He was pretty sure those were banned on the Citadel.

...Weren't they?

The volus kept talking. "...Or has your pilgrimage sold you off the highest bidder, hm?" The volus shook his head, "Such trash, I tell you."

Tali glowered and said nothing.

John finally regained his mental footing.

"Do you know who the hell you're even _speaking_ to?"

The volus glanced between the both of them and sensed his newest customer didn't look all that happy anymore.

"No. _-skeesh-_ I'm afraid I have you at a disadvantage, Mr...?"

He ignored the formality and pointed to Tali standing behind him.

"You owe her an _apology_."

"Why? ...For reminding her for what she is? Trash?"

"My name's John Shepard. And you're speaking to a Council _Spectre_, you low life fuck stain." John growled, "And the only trash I see here? Is the thing standing in front of me."

The volus closed his stumpy little hands into fists. "_What_? How dare you."

"How _dare_ I?" John repeated with a slightly raised voice, "This woman here's done more in past three months than what the likes of you could do in an _entire_ god damned lifetime. And I will _not_ tolerate the way you are addressing her."

John leaned in closer than personal space would normally allow. "Are. We. Clear."

The volus recoiled slightly away. "-_**Skeesh**__-I…__**I—**_"

"Shut up." John interrupted angrily, "Tell her you're sorry. _Now_."

The volus hesitated for a moment before facing her.

"I'm sorry, clanless."

Oh, that wasn't really all that sincere. Not at all.

And John wasn't going to take that. And he certainly wouldn't let Tali take it either.

He lowered to a knee so he could stare straight into the man's soul and anything else that could've been hiding behind that stupid mask.

"You've got _one_ more chance before she broadcasts your private data from your Omni-tool to the entire goddamned ward."

"You're -**_skeesh_**- _threatening_ me!"

"Damn _right_ I am. Now say it with her _name_." John rasped with as much anger as he could, "Tell _Tali_ that you're _sorry_. _Respectfully_."

He faced her again. "...I'm— I'm sorry, Tali. -_skeesh_-"

Tali dipped her head. "Thank you."

"Like talking to a damn _child_." John said as he stood back up.

He gestured for her to wrap up their stuff before pointing at the pudgy ball with legs. "Hope we never cross paths again."

The volus was left writhing his palms around anxiously before mumbling something to himself with a huff as they both left his store.

John grumbled to himself when they were well enough away from that walking ball of fat.

"Wow." Tali mumbled quietly.

"God damnit. Can't _believe_ that. What an _asshole_."

Tali stopped walking.

"John. Stop."

He ceased in his tracks and turned back behind her.

"What he did was out of line, Tali."

"John." She shook her head to show him she wasn't upset about the issue, "No one's ever spoken on my behalf like that."

"You deserve _better_." John rasped with a frown.

"I have better." Tali said with a sad smile as she swayed an arm to him, "I've got you."

If John didn't see that as a sign of love, she didn't know what would.

His grimace went away and his eyes went soft. As he stepped up to her, he put a gentle hand on her arm before squeezing it affectionately. "You do." He murmured.

This would've been the time to kiss hadn't there been this sheen of glass between them.

He turned back to their cart. "Third time should be a charm. Let's see if we can't find a turian with enough will to hold their tongue."

"A turian, John?"

"If he even stares the wrong way? It'll be a swift kick to the balls, Tali. I swear."

"Right," Tali laughed as she thought of John leg punching a turian's crotch, "I'm sure."

"Yeah." John laughed before shrugging, "I wouldn't even know how to do that. To a turian at least."

They, by chance, come across a turian shopkeeper's store.

"Well. Speak of the devil." John said as he turned the cart toward the door, "Come on."

With a shrug, Tali followed John in.

As they approached, the turian behind the counter flared his mandibles into a smile before putting his hands behind his back. "Hello. What can I do for you both today?"

"Just looking to see if we can buy and trade."

"Of course! Have a look around."

John thumbed the cart. "My cart here's got stuff I've collected too over the past three or so months. If you need anything, you can refer to my techie here. She'll get you situated."

"Well." The turian said with a bit of surprise, "I was just about to run an errand, but with you here, maybe I won't have to." The turian's Omni-tool sprang to life.

John pointed at the shopkeeper's kiosk. "You wouldn't mind if I took a look, would you?"

"Not at all, sir." The turian said with his small smile. John nodded to the man and started browsing.

Then the turian faced Tali. "Hello there, ma'am. How're you?"

"Good." Tali said politely.

"Good." the turian repeated as he started typing, "Now, my errand was for me to find a spare M-8 chamber and sear. You wouldn't happen to have some analytic converters for those too would you?"

Tali gave the man a grin. "Yes! Just the thing for you."

She went in under one of the boxes and started sifting through the stuff. "M-8 chamber and sear, right here. I also have an Omni-generated weapon system diagnostic too if you want. That'd certainly come in handy over the analytic converter."

"That'd be just the thing, Ms...?"

"Tali'Zorah, sir."

The turian rose his brows in surprise. "My. You're part of the Normandy." He gave the commander a fleeting look, "That's the commander himself? The human Spectre?"

"Yes." Tali said without being able to hold her smile, "That's him."

The turian actually laughed and shook his head. "Who would've thought. Two of galaxy's best in my dingy little store."

She grabbed the parts and brought it over to him. "I didn't get your name, sir."

"Uliach Kueen." He said with a grin. By the time Tali had set the stuff on the counter, John was back with a small grin on his face.

"Looks like we came to the right man, Tals." Shepard said, "He's got quite the set up here."

"I'm sure," Tali said, smiling at John, "See anything good?"

"Yes, I did." John answered before facing the turian shopkeeper, "I noticed a savant IX on the shelf there..."

Uliach nodded. "Yes sir. Top, top of the line stuff. It's quite the buy... a small fortune, actually."

"I'll take it. Tali's been needing an upgrade."

Tali's mind went blank for a second.

_What._

"Of course!" Uliach said happily, "I'll ring it up and give you a dis—"

A loud crash sounded out from behind John and he whirled around to see Tali cursing because she'd dropped one of the more expensive things in their cart onto the ground.

"Oh. God... _damnit_." Tali grumbled with a frustrated groan.

Uliach stared awkwardly at John and Tali before going back to pressing his buttons at his register.

John couldn't help but laugh and step up to her before putting a hand on her ruffled ones.

"Don't worry about it. Tali? It's fine."

"I just wrecked a fortune, John. _Damnit, I'm so sorry._"

"Tali." He repeated with a shrug, "It's okay. No big deal."

"You're lucky, Ms. Zorah," The turian said out loud with a calming smile, "had you been under my command, I'd have made you wash my dishes personally for a week."

Both John and Uliach share a laugh while Tali put a hand on her face embarrassingly.

"You used to be military?" John asked Uliach as he bent down to help Tali pick up the pieces she'd dropped.

"Oh, very much so." Uliach answered as he hobbled around to the other side of the counter with his cane, "Retired out as a pioneering sergeant for the 444th Expeditionaries after serving some time on the home-planet's moon for the 62nd signal corps. Half my service was on Posting Condor, amazingly."

John didn't understand specifically all the intricacies of turian military, but nodded all the same. It sounded interesting, and it would be something worth looking up on a wiki later that night.

"But enough about that." Uliach said as he waved his hand about, "About that Savant IX. I'll set you up with a discount, Commander."

"That would be phenomenal sir." John said humbly, "I appreciate it greatly."

The old turian hobbled back around the counter to set up the discount at his register. "None needed, Commander. Your service is enough thanks for this old bag of bones."

John smiled at the man before turning to Tali and giving her the dip of the head.

"John..." She whispered without it ever reaching him. She couldn't believe he was going to buy her something like that.

"With the discount and parts you brought me... the difference totals at six thousand, five hundred credits flat, Commander."

"Sounds about right." John said right before sliding his chit across a scanner. Anything Tali could've said to object against the purchase was too late. It was under John's name now.

"Let me shake your hand, sir." John asked as he held out his hand for the turian to shake, "Been a pleasure doing business with you."

"The honor's mine, son." Uliach said with a wide grin.

As John and Tali turned to go, Uliach called out to John right after Tali passed out the door so she couldn't hear him.

"...Commander? You keep her safe." The old turian said with a gentle smile and small wink.

"I will, sir." John answered with stout nod before walking out.

Tali was waiting just outside the store when John passed the door. He handed her the box with the new omni-tool in it.

"Surprise." John said jokingly, "Just for you."

Tali accepted the gift with both hands and a nervous mumble.

"John... a _Savant_?"

"Hell yes."

"Why...?" Tali asked with an astonished murmur, "...Why do you do this for me?"

"Because you're a good person Tali." John answered quietly, "That's why."

"_...You shouldn't have to though_." Tali said without the courage to look him in the eye, "_You shouldn't have to do that for me_."

"You're right. I don't." John answered with a shrug, "But I choose to. Because I _want_ to."

With nothing else to say, Tali came up to John and hugged him.

"Thank you, John."

"You're welcome, Tals."

He pat her back and smiled at her. "Hey. Let's put off the chores for another day. Let's have some fun."

"Fun?" Tali said as she took a step back, "Where at?"

"Not sure. Maybe you should check with that new Savant of yours."

Tali beamed at him.

* * *

><p><strong>-Present Time-<strong>

**|Date:9/16/2184|**

**|Location: Aboard the Neema's Medical Bay|**

* * *

><p>Juel's grin grew when her story was nearing the end.<p>

Every once in a while, she'd twirl her hands around to help explain her tale. Other times, she'd stare at the ceiling to gather her thoughts before continuing her long monologue.

She was lost in total memory, that much was certain. Every detail given told seamlessly.

It were no different than if she were reading straight out of a story book.

"—and he taught me that day, that I have to spend my money on what I want." Tali explained when her story finally came to a close, "And if it helps you, then so be it."

She stood up and gave him the stare down. "We're going to the Citadel, Juel. And we're getting you a new arm."


	25. Revival

A/N:

I'm going to take some liberties with some of the characters. For one, I'm changing the personality and drive of Dr. Wilson.

Bioware makes him out to be a fool (Out of necessity for a gaming tutorial for reasons I completely understand), and I don't want to play that card. He's a Neurologist. Ergo, you don't make it far being an idiot by being incensed with goals that could cost you your life. He's loyal to Cerberus. Period. And he'll probably end up serving alongside Chakwas on the SR2 to keep up with Shepard's health.

* * *

><p><strong>|Date:916/2184|**

**|Undisclosed Location|**

* * *

><p>"I wasn't expecting to see you here so early." Miranda said as she walked in to sit down in her usual spot.<p>

"I'm here to forget about the food I ate." Wilson grumbled with a sigh before gulping down some coffee. "You have to agree with me. It was like eating baked cotton."

"...I'll pass a memo to The Illusive man. Maybe he'll agree to make some alterations to the station's cuisine."

"Would've been nice if you'd done that when we started this." He grumbled.

She sat at her station, turned on the monitor, and gave Wilson a bland smile. "I'm sure."

"Did you get my report?"

"I did. Did you test his Medulla Oblongata?"

"Yes we did. Dr. Jerome removed his pulmonary bypass earlier. He's passed the trials, Miranda. He's ready."

She gave John a hard stare. "...Then I guess we should get started."

"Everyone's already on stand-by. I'll call them up now." Wilson pressed a button at his desk for the PA, "Attention, Attention. This is Dr. Wilson speaking, requesting resuscitation team for immediate oversee of operation. We're ready now."

Not a moment later, seven technicians enter Shepard's room and prepare the crash cart and other instruments in case anything went wrong.

Wilson stood up and waved Miranda to the door. "Come on."

She stood and followed him into the suite to get themselves prepped. They wash their hands, change into gowns, and enter.

"Okay everyone." Wilson began as he put on his gloves, "I'm not entirely sure of what could happen these next few moments. Keep your eye on the EKG monitor. Watch out for dysrhythmias or pulseless ventricular tachycardias those will be the first things to see if things go bad. And I'm really stressing if."

Miranda glowered when Wilson said that.

"Are you sure we should do this?" Miranda asked, "Shouldn't we wait until he's stronger? He's only been free of his bypass for under an hour."

"No." Wilson said as he shook his head, "We do that, and we're going to displace our timetable. He scheduled for a total discharge of his life support by the end of the week. This needs to be done before we do anything else. Otherwise we'll risk stressing his other organs into failure.

She crossed her arms and held her breath.

"Look at this way, Miranda. We're opening doors never thought possible in medicine. Resuscitating the clinically dead. I can't overstate my confidence in this."

"We'll see." She murmured as Wilson and the techs started working.

The frown on her face never left. The only reason she was letting this pass by was the sense of urgency she'd been receiving from The Illusive Man the past month (Due in no small part to the recent disappearances of multiple human colonies). Otherwise, she would've delayed the timetables set in place to test this thing for a whole damned year if she had to.

She was snapped quickly out of her train of thought when alarms from Shepard's EKG started blaring.

Not good.

* * *

><p>John didn't know for how long he'd been dreaming... but he knew enough to know it'd been a while.<p>

The dreams though, however rare, came and went, and were usually forgotten.

Large pieces to an unfinished puzzle were missing. Gone. Corrupted even. He couldn't even grasp really what exactly he was dreaming. It was beyond him. _Far_ beyond him.

If John could even remember to utter a sentence, it would say that he could only feel pain.

And it was... always in his chest. His heart always ached. His stomach constantly cramped. His lungs forever burning.

He wanted to scream. But he couldn't. Something kept him still. Kept him cuffed into an unyielding universe of purgatory.

Until now.

He was starting to hear something.

Whispers he thought.

Murmurs maybe.

Mumbling even.

The voices started growing a little clearer.

And when he tried opening his eyes, he felt pain in his chest.

No... not pain.

_Unbelievable_ _torture_.

His eyes burned under the intense lights. All he could see were hues of deep blue and dark red.

The sounds in his ears started to grow impossibly loud. Even the slightest whisper made him want to curl in pain.

He screamed in agony.

He was denied his voice. Blood gushed from his throat and he began choking.

_'Welcome back to the living, Shepard.'_ Saren and Sovereign murmured into his ear, '_Smell the ash.'_

* * *

><p><strong>|Date: 917/2184|**

**|Location: Aboard the Rayya|**

* * *

><p>She followed closely behind her dad and kept her hands firmly at her sides.<p>

"I'm going to the Citadel."

He stopped in his tracks and turned to face her.

"For?"

"Juel."

"...For Juel." He murmured as he thought it over.

"Yes." She nodded, "We're going to find him an arm."

"Ah. I heard about that." He turned back around and kept walking, "And you've passed this to your captain, correct?"

"Yes."

"How will you be booking passage? I'd hope it won't be too costly to the fleets resources."

"We won't be traveling by ourselves." She answered as they enter his office, "We'll be going with the Neema's newest pilgrims come next week."

"Mm. Good." He sniffed.

"You approve?"

"My blessing shouldn't be of concern to you anymore, Tali. This is something you should consult to your captain now."

"I—I know." She rasped as she started playing with her hands absently, "I just... thought I'd tell you."

Rael dropped his own gaze and stared at his feet.

It was really rare to see him do that.

"...When will you be leaving exactly?"

"Not really sure. The itinerary is still being planned."

"Then I wish you luck on your travels."

Before Tali could give her own good-bye, her dad's omni-tool pinged and Raan popped up. "Rael. Koris asked for me to get into contact with you you since you've been ignoring his calls."

Rael took a breath. "I'll return his correspondence when time permits, Raan. For now, he must wait."

"He isn't going to like that."

"He will live with it."

"Fine." She huffed. "I'll tell him just that then."

Rael ended the call and faced Tali again. "I'm sorry Tali, but duty calls. I really do need to speak to Koris."

"Of course dad."

He gave her a small smile. "Be careful out there, Tali."

"I will."

"And do come back in one piece." He said as he sat down in his chair to turn on his computer.

"You act like I'm going on a suicide mission." She joked.

"It isn't far fetched for me to believe you'd go off on another, is it?" He said with a small smile.

Humor. It was really rare to see him do that too.

All she did was shrug.

"...Take care Tali."

"You too. Bye dad." She said before closing the door behind her.

* * *

><p>C.M.B-7732:Id11178-11-J786[Artcl#=]SNTtd:08:00:14GeST_tcp/ip:198.68.29.****

**To:** Garrus Vakarian [SB_ScPt:I_d#:454647.9Ob.90]

**From:** Tali'Zorah [SB_ScPt:I_d#:55640.6Op.89]

**Subject:** Hey. |C.M.B-7732:Id/11178-11-| **_Sent:_**** 08:00:14 AMGeST**

_-Garrus. I'm leaving to go to the Citadel. Just thought I'd tell you._

* * *

><p>C.M.B-7732:Id11178-11-J786[Artcl#=]SNTtd:08:08:02GeST_tcp/ip:198.68.29.****

**To:** Tali'Zorah [SB_ScPt:I_d#:5564.6Op.89]

**From:** Garrus Vakarian [SB_ScPt:I_d#:454647.9Ob.90]

**Subject:** RE:Hey |C.M.B-7732:Id/11178-12-| **_Sent:_**** 08:08:02AMGeST**

_-What for?**  
><strong>_

_-Are you okay?_**  
><strong>

* * *

><p>C.M.B-7732:Id11178-11-J786[Artcl#=]SNTtd:08:09:59GeST_tcp/ip:198.68.29.****

**To:** Garrus Vakarian [SB_ScPt:I_d#:454647.9Ob.90]

**From:** Tali'Zorah [SB_ScPt:I_d#:55640.6Op.89]

**Subject:** RE:RE:Hey. |C.M.B-7732:Id/11178-11-| **_Sent:_**** 08:09:59 AMGeST**

_-Yes. I'm fine.**  
><strong>_

_-My friend lost an arm. We're going to find somebody to get him a new one._

* * *

><p>C.M.B-7732:Id11178-11-J786[Artcl#=]SNTtd:08:13:08GeST_tcp/ip:198.68.29.****

**To:** Tali'Zorah [SB_ScPt:I_d#:5564.6Op.89]

**From:** Garrus Vakarian [SB_ScPt:I_d#:454647.9Ob.90]

**Subject:** RE:RE:RE:Hey |C.M.B-7732:Id/11178-12-| **_Sent:_**** 08:13:08AMGeST**

_-I'll pass the word to Liara.**  
><strong>_

_-Maybe… she can meet you?**  
><strong>_

_-When exactly are you going?_**  
><strong>

* * *

><p>C.M.B-7732:Id11178-11-J786[Artcl#=]SNTtd:09:01:24GeST_tcp/ip:198.68.29.****

**To:** Garrus Vakarian [SB_ScPt:I_d#:454647.9Ob.90]

**From:** Tali'Zorah [SB_ScPt:I_d#:55640.6Op.89]

**Subject:** RE:RE:RE:RE:Hey. |C.M.B-7732:Id/11178-11-| **_Sent:_**** 09:01:24 AMGeST**

_-I'm leaving next week._

_-Liara doesn't need to come._

_-But I guess she's welcome to._

* * *

><p>C.M.B-7732:Id11178-11-J786[Artcl#=]SNTtd:09:04:43GeST_tcp/ip:198.68.29.****

**To:** Tali'Zorah [SB_ScPt:I_d#:5564.6Op.89]

**From:** Garrus Vakarian [SB_ScPt:I_d#:454647.9Ob.90]

**Subject:** RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:Hey |C.M.B-7732:Id/11178-12-| **_Sent:_**** 09:04:43AMGeST**

_-Do you have enough money?**  
><strong>_

_-I can help you with the expenses._**  
><strong>

* * *

><p>C.M.B-7732:Id11178-11-J786[Artcl#=]SNTtd:09:08:35GeST_tcp/ip:198.68.29.****

**To:** Garrus Vakarian [SB_ScPt:I_d#:454647.9Ob.90]

**From:** Tali'Zorah [SB_ScPt:I_d#:55640.6Op.89]

**Subject:** RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:Hey. |C.M.B-7732:Id/11178-11-| **_Sent:_**** 09:08:35 AMGeST**

_**-**I have enough.**  
><strong>_

_**-**Thanks though._**  
><strong>

* * *

><p>C.M.B-7732:Id11178-11-J786[Artcl#=]SNTtd:09:10:12GeST_tcp/ip:198.68.29.****

**To:** Tali'Zorah [SB_ScPt:I_d#:5564.6Op.89]

**From:** Garrus Vakarian [SB_ScPt:I_d#:454647.9Ob.90]

**Subject:** Hey. |C.M.B-7732:Id/11178-12-| **_Sent:_**** 09:10:12AMGeST**

_-Okay Tali. I'll pass the word to Liara. Be safe._

_-Keep in contact._

_-...And don't be a stranger, Tali._

* * *

><p><strong>|Date: 918/2184|**

**|Location: Aboard the Neema|**

* * *

><p>"Hey." Tali greeted as she entered his room, "Come up with a better excuse for not getting a new arm?"<p>

Juel looked up from his book and smiled.

"Nope. I haven't."

"Good. Nothing's going to change my mind. I'll find paralytics if you so much as argue with me anymore about it."

"Terrifying." He said before rolling his eyes, "Didn't know you were versed in phlebotomy. Through a suit no less."

"Doesn't mean I can't try." She joked.

He set his book down and sighed to show he was being serious now. "Thank you, Tali."

"You're welcome, Juel." She murmured, "Think it'll be hard adjusting to an artificial limb?"

"No more than getting used to missing one I'd think." He said as he stared at his stump, "I mean— it _sucks_."

"I can imagine." She said as she stared at the limb, or lack thereof, "When do you think you'll get back into your suit?"

"Not really sure…" He panned, "Wish I didn't have to put it back on, honestly."

He sighed again and tried staring past her tint of glass. "Is it weird, seeing just me? Without the helmet?"

"No." She answered as she shook her head.

"No? And what do you look like?"

"Shepard told me I was beautiful. So… maybe—"

"Shepard saw you without your—"

"—Yes."

He gave her a blank stare.

"...I'd believe him."

He looked off distantly to the wall opposite of him. "You should have seen Samah, Tali. She was _so_ beautiful. …What I'd do to wrap my arms aroun— _Hmm_… well… '_arm'_, around her."

Tali laughed lightly and it lifted Juel's spirits, if only slightly.

"I'm sure she was beautiful, Juel. What was she like?" Tali asked as she sat in a chair next to him.

"Where should I start without it sounding too cliché?"

"Anywhere."

"She was nice. Hard headed. Lovely. Sweet when she wanted to be. A giant bosh'tet sometimes. But she knew where her heart was." He nodded and felt a tear trickle in his eye, "Keelah, Tali. I had it so good with her. Still haven't gotten over her. —Miss her a lot."

He drew in a sharp breath and held it before closing his eyes.

"And to think... of what those... fucking _monsters_ did to her." He shook his head and his eyes turned to ice. "I want to find the man who ruined my life, and _kill_ him."

The air grew very still and Tali's back went rigid.

"I'm sorry, Juel."

"I feel hollow, Tali. Until I end this nightmare, I won't feel peace."

"When we get your arm... maybe."

"Good. I'm not joking. I'm willing to put everything aside to do this."

Her eyes narrowed. Personally, Tali didn't know what to think of Juel's lust for revenge.

But all she had to think about is what she'd do if she was in that position.

Plan revenge probably.

She reached over and put a firm grip on his shoulder. "I'll help you, if that's what you want."

"Wouldn't have it any other way." He answered with a straight stare, "But we can't tell people anything. This is between you and I. Olasie doesn't need to know. Nor does Enyah, or any of the others."

"I know. I won't say a thing to them."

He nodded mostly to himself and lay back against his pillow before staring up at the ceiling in slight disbelief. "I can't believe we're actually going to do this..."

"We will. But we'll have to find leads, Juel."

"We'll find a way, Tali."

"We will." She said before standing up, "Now rest. I'll see you tomorrow. I've got work to do. Docking cradle's static attenuator isn't discharging correctly.

"Make sure you lead it away from the eezo manifest, got it? You might make the ship weigh as much as a piece of dust if you aren't careful."

"I know Juel." She said as she headed to door, "You're looking at a master here."

"So I am." He said before waving her goodbye.


	26. Citadel

"_Prepare for final countdown_."

"Preparing for final countdown."

"_Initiating commandeering crane. You will be transferred to interior docking cradle nine." _

"Copy, control. Waiting for space vector."

"_Stand-by, Tanis-1… obtaining space vector… Acknowledging active pressure. Aligning equilibrium." _

"Were in Tandem, Control. Mass Effect core stabilizing. Rheostats operational. Guardian lasers synchronizing… drive core functioning at sub-optimal velocity."

"_Okay, Tanis-1. Your vector space is seven, two, niner, niner, zero, one, one. Inhibiting quadrant eight point five. You are a go, Tanis-1, shackles released. Confiscation terminated. Closing cabin section seal." _

"Roger. Awaiting the green light."

"_Final detachment in five. Yellow signal wavered."_

"Visual on door release… increasing to optimal velocity. Thank you control."

"_Take care of them, Tanis-1. Ancestors watch you." _

"Roger, Control. Keelah'Selai."

"_Keelah'Selai. Out." _

Flight Commander Suvai'Eem vas Neema's grabbed for his intercom.

"Okay everyone. We're through the cradle. Your pilgrimage has officially begun. We'll be making our first stop at the Citadel. Thankfully, we're two jumps away from exiting the Traverse into Council space. We've been deemed fit to move without an ample escort. Only four other ships will be joining us." Suvai paused for just a second, "We're drifting now until we get word from our escort. We'll follow them through until their drop-off point. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask; just come up to the helm. That'll be all."

Suvai hung the receiver up and went back to his console.

"Hey Suvai."

"Hello Tali." Suvai greeted with his aging smile and raspy voice.

Tali decided to strike up some conversation. "So. How long have you been doing this?"

"Years. About twenty five I think." he answered, "Does my heart good doing this."

Tali nodded approvingly. "Something you've volunteered to do?"

"Of course. My job's to taxi people." He grasped the old worn joystick to emphasize his point, "And I recall bringing you to the Rayya every time your dad needed you. But, if I remember correctly, he's relocated his resources to one of Admiral Xen's research frigates… The Alarei?"

"He has." Tali remarked flatly, "He's taken the ship for himself."

The old man didn't push the conversation further; she obviously wasn't interested in talking about that.

"_Ilheemai-4 to Tanis-1, escort achieved. Prepare for Relay's marked acquisition_."

"Roger, Ilheemai-4. Standing-by." Suvai answered through the radio.

He turned to Tali. "We're ten minutes out until we pass through the Relay. Make yourself comfortable. The Citadel's three hours out."

"I'll get some rest and see how Juel is doing."

Suvai nodded. "Okay. I'll be here."

* * *

><p><strong><em>-Three hours and thirty minutes later...<em>**

* * *

><p>The Serpent Nebulae and the Citadel was truly a spectacular view. One grand enough for Juel and Tali to watch quietly.<p>

"...Been a long time." Juel said pensively as he placed his only hand along the window.

Tali inwardly agreed. The rehash may not have been as long as it was for Juel, but the sight was, if it had meant anything, nostalgic.

The Citadel's ringed center, flanked by its five creased arms, was truly a sight to behold. But through Tali's wavering eyes, it had only reminded her of loss and pain.

Not just upon just herself and her personal experience, but to the quarian people as a whole.

They were barred here. Looked upon like varren squealing for rotten second-hand meat. The Citadel's inhabitants rarely festered over a quarian's presence. As 'inconvenient' as it was to have a quarian around, it was unheard of to actually stand out and actually be rude to one.

It was, for the most part, 'un-classy' to ponder over such insignificant things.

Though it wasn't all bad. While Tali would freely admit there were a lot of racism geared toward her race, thousands of others weren't.

Which had to mean something.

"How do you feel?" Juel asked quietly.

"I should be asking you that, Juel." She said.

"I guess you should be. I'm feeling fine, by the way." He murmured, "Can't wait to deal with C-sec."

"Maybe I can get us some legal immunity. From John's old captain."

"Yeah?"

"Yes." Tali nodded, "I'll pay him a visit."

"Who else do you want to see?" He asked before leaning on a support beam.

"Garrus mentioned having Liara here to see me, but I doubt that's going to happen." Her shoulders shrug faintly.

"Okay… and my arm?"

"I'll handle it. If anything, Anderson can point us in the right direction." She stared out at the window herself before touching her necklace with a free hand absently.

"And of my other problem?"

"We'll find an information broker. A reputable one. Then we wait."

"Fair enough." Juel said before sitting in a chair and looking toward Suvai.

"—What registry? We do this every year, Khorus. _Every. Year._ It always just seems to _magically_ 'disappear' at everyone's _earliest_ convenience, doesn't it?" The man's hostile looking posture almost made Juel grin. The pilot continued his rant against the traffic controller.

"…Yes. No. Yes… Yes. Yes. y_esyesyesyesyesyes_. Good. We'll take it."

The old gruff man huffed frustratingly before dropping the receiver back into its jack.

"Damn turian. Every time. Every damned time."

"Calm down, Suvai, before you give yourself an aneurysm." Juel said jokingly.

Suvai turned around and actually laughed. "No, believe it or not, Khorus is my friend. We've known each other for a little over sixteen years."

"Really?"

"The little shit just gives me a hard time. But every year we meet and share a few drinks and some stories."

"Well, it looks like you've shared some history with him."

"Yup." The helmsman nodded distantly before looking at Juel, "Come on. We'll be docking now. You guys need to get your stuff ready."

"Will do."

Both Tali and Juel rise from their seats.

"Any idea how you two plan on getting back home?" Suvai asked.

"Think of it as another pilgrimage." Juel answered.

"If you can, bring me a replacement for ol' Tanis, here. She's served me well, but I need to cut some strings."

"We'll see, Suvai. And thank you. We'll see you in a couple months. Or a couple weeks depending on how this goes." She gave the old quarian a rough pat on the shoulder before walking off into the ship's claustrophobic corridor.

"Take care you two. And keep him safe! At least until he get's a new arm!"

* * *

><p>"<em>Next<em>!" A human woman, well into her mid-forties, laid her dagger like stare along the eighteen quarians shuffling their way through customs. The first quarian pilgrim, by the name of Dreim'Mlah nar Neema, stepped through the ill-fitted scanner before being subjected to a 'callous' pat-down by a turian security officer.

The officer carefully placed his hands along the young man's torso before placing both palms against his faceplate.

"Clear." He motioned with a cheerful eye before motioning along to his next 'victim', "Next!"

Gyui'Illetel nar Neema was next.

"Pilgrimage, you guys?" The Turian's voice was mirthful as he tried to give the quarian girl a smile.

"Yes, officer."

He placed both his hands along her shoulder blades before running them softly along her forearm.

"I'm sure you'll bring something back good. You're clear."

"Thank you."

Yeusa'Illetel nar Neema.

"Tell your brothers and sisters there's a great shelter here on Zakara. Just ask Avina, the Citadel's VI. She'll get you all situated."

"Thank you sir."

"You're clear."

Tali'Zorah vas Neema.

"If I remember, last year, there was a lot less pilgrims…" The approachable turian motioned with silent hands for her to mimic his posture.

She obeyed.

"A little more on Zakara this year. And I'm not actually a pilgrim. I'm here to get my friend here a surgeon… and a new arm."

"Is that so? I'd give you advice, but I wouldn't know any good doctors for that." He followed the basic pat-down procedure the same he did on the last four hundred and thirty six itinerants.

"You know…" Tali began, "You're pleasing and sociable attitude makes this bearable… and it doesn't go unappreciated. Thank you. I'd give you gratuity… but that isn't allowed, I'd think."

The turian smiled and shrugged.

"The galaxy's a better place when people smile and pat you on the back. Enjoy your stay, ma'am. I hope your friend gets what he needs."

Tali's hands absent-mindedly grasped the turian's. "I'd like to know your name, officer."

"Sergeant Mare Talone. At your service, ma'am."

"Tali'Zorah vas Neema nar Rayya."

His eyes widened a bit. "Tali'Zorah? A _Hero_? Back on the ol' Citadel? Confirm with the clerk up there and he'll get you set-up for some VIP. If Ider Mannus so much as even gives you a salarian winch, come back to me."

Tali actually smiled.

"Thank you, Sergeant Talone."

"Anytime. Next!"

Juel'Kaan vas Neema.

Talone waited for the limbless man. "Hope you guys find what you need."

"No kidding. Not helping out on pipe duty sucks." Juel pointed to his limbless stump.

"You'll leave with a new arm. I'm sure of it. Carry on. You're clear."

"Much appreciated, sir."

Tali eyed the busy view before placing her hands on the customs desk.

"How can I help you?" A salarian asked when he finally got around to serving the two of them.

"Officer Talone has requested that we receive VIP passes."

If the salarians had brows to emote with, this one did.

"V.I.P, passes? _You two_? What for?"

Tali took a breath.

"For saving the Citadel. Former operative aboard the SSV Normandy."

"Likely story."

"Likely." Tali repeated with a drawl, "And how many quarian's by the name of Tali'Zorah vas Neema _nar_ Rayya do you come by, exactly?"

"Name the Normandy's ground team." His eyes narrowed before crossing his arms.

"How, _trivial_ of you." Tali said before leaning in uncomfortably close to the salarian, "Garrus Vakarian. Urdnot Wrex. Kaiden Alenko. Ashley Williams. Liara T'Soni and John Shepard."

She didn't hide the anger she felt for having to mention John's name.

"And the Normandy's XO?" A little smile managed to creep along his skinny cheeks.

"Pressly. Ask another question and I'll have Councilor Anderson personally reprimand you for your lack of civility. _He_ was exonerated of command of the Normandy before Shepard became spectre."

The salarian's smile vanished quickly. "_I'll, uh, _get you those VIP cards."

"_Good_." Tali chirped mockingly, "Top level, officer. The Presidium is where we're headed."

"Yes ma'am…"

* * *

><p>"I am aware that the financing council is concerned for the Citadel's next fiscal year, yes." Anderson mollified, even though his mind wandered elsewhere, "But we have to consider the 12.8% dip in taxation revenue is in no cause to fraudulence. It's in direct correlation to the <em>Rea<em>—_ahem_, geth, attack. Population numbers have dropped both by casualty and the thousands of people leaving council space."

Anderson stood slightly straighter as the turian's eyes rose slightly.

"Good. I'll see to your financing team. I'm sure they've devised a plan of action… And also see to it that the foreign stimulus your congress has established must increase its eezo goods."

"Understood, Mr. Dimak. I'll be looking forward to your report." Anderson lied, "We'll set up negotiations for that eezo."

"Good day, councilor."

The call finally ended and Anderson allowed himself to heave a sigh he'd been holding since the conversation started.

"I'm getting too old for this…" He grumbled to himself before opening up the personal fridge sitting under his desk for a bottle of water, "Way too old."

Before he could uncap the water, his pager went off and the phone started ringing.

"Joann, could you hold off my calls please?"

Joann, his personal secretary, didn't answer.

"Joann?"

He peered over his desk to see she wasn't there.

"Oh hell. what do I pay that woman for."

He sat back down in his chair, sighed, and took the call.

"Councilor Anderson speaking." He said before taking a sip of water.

"Captain Anderson…"

He nearly choked.

"Tali'Zorah? I…" He coughed slightly and cleared his throat, "…what brings you here? Not that I'm complaining… it's just a welcoming surprise."

"Thought I could visit, I suppose."

"Do, come in. I'll open the door for you." He pressed a button right under his desk before placing a smile on his face.

But then he relaxed a little more since he had to remind himself this wasn't another possy politician kissing his ass.

Tali ambled through the door with Juel and reared the corner before finally meeting Anderson.

"A pleasure, Captain." Tali said as a formality. They shook hands.

"Please, Tali. You can just call me Anderson."

She nodded slowly and smiled.

"So what's going on, Tali? What brings you here?"

"I'm sorry to come on such short notice... but I need help. I have a friend here with me. His name's Juel'Kaan. I'd like you to meet him."

She gestured to Juel.

"Of course." Anderson nodded, "It's my pleasure. A friend of Tali is a friend of mine."

"Thank you, sir."

"How has the last year or so treated you?"

"Well…" Tali shrugged, "It's been tough. What about you?"

"Ah." Anderson shook his head and looked at the papers on his desk, "Didn't exactly think I'd be spending my twilight years behind a desk like this."

"You're doing something important at least." Tali defended, "Being a councilor is a big deal."

"True. As much as I like to complain, it's important." David explained, "But sometimes it's like beating my head against a wall."

"The other councilors giving you trouble?"

David couldn't help but shrug. "They have their reasons. But enough about me. You said you needed help?"

Tali took a chair and sat down. "I'm sure you've noticed, but Juel's missing an arm. And we're trying to find him a prosthesis."

"I see."

"And maybe... some legal immunity." Tali added shamefully.

"Well, I can definitely help with the legal immunity part." Anderson said immediately as he put on his glasses to get the papers started on his computer, "But I think Liara would probably know more about getting a prosthesis than I would."

"Liara?" Tali said, visibly confused, "What do you mean?"

Anderson looked at her with his reading glasses and frowned. "You aren't with her? She was here just an hour ago. I just assumed she was with you."

"No." Tali immediately played with her veil as she thought it over, "...Garrus must've been serious about Liara coming here then..."

Tali stood from the seat. "Do you know where she is?"

"Hmm... She told me she was going to be at the SouthStar Café right across the street from here."

"Thank you, Anderson."

"Of course." Anderson said warmly, "I'll get you your legal immunity. Call me in an hour and I'll email it to you."

Tali, as she turned around with Juel in tow, smiled darkly.

Her mind played out the likely scenarios, but knew, for a long moment, her questions would finally get answered.

'_Tell me, Liara… what exactly is the Lazarus Project?'_


	27. Awkward Catching Up

**|DATE: 9/24/2184|**

**|Location: Citadel|**

* * *

><p>She swallowed the rest in a single gulp and sighed. Then Liara stared at the bottom of her empty mug with a lewd looking frown on her face.<p>

Why humans liked coffee just for the taste alone was _beyond_ her.

"Goddess."

Her coffee was _really _bitter. But it was a consequence she was willing to pay for to stay awake for not sleeping too well the night before.

Not that Liara had been sleeping well in the first place.

And knowing that Tali was already up in Anderson's office speaking to him wasn't going to settle any of the anxiety that'd been keeping her up at night.

With the frown still set on her face, she pushed aside her uneaten pastry, stared outside her window again for the tenth time, and looked up to the artificial rays of sun.

Meeting Tali here was spelling disaster.

Tali knew she was holding something back.

Something _really_ important.

All Liara had to do was confirm with Tali it was all about John.

That's it.

That's all she had to do.

And then the pain Tali had been suffering through would stop.

All the grief.

All the sorrow.

All the agony, torment, and misery would be gone.

...Or would it?

John's death ended her.

Destroyed her_._

So what would happen if Liara told Tali John's body had been handed to Cerberus?

By _her_ doing?

In the end, Liara didn't know what to think of it. And she sure as hell didn't know why she even relented to coming here in the first place.

Maybe that's what Garrus wanted.

Maybe that's why Garrus convinced her to go.

For her to slip up and just admit what was going on.

But that couldn't happen.

Maybe in the future, when John was up and about, but not now.

No one else needed to know.

Not Wrex.

Not Ashley.

Not Adams, or any of the other old crew…

And _definitely_ not Tali.

Unfortunately for Liara, Tali was an entirely different problem to handle.

And it was all because of that _stupid_ email she'd sent to her months ago.

The one where she vaguely implied of a 'revival'.

It was supposed to be a gift. An ambiguous one at that, but a gift nonetheless.

Well.

It was more than that.

Not necessarily just a gift to Tali per se, but a way for Liara to find some peace for her moral compass. A way to recompense the choices she'd made with Cerberus.

But now Liara was coming to regret it all together.

Sending that message to Tali was a serious mistake.

But why hide it from her, right?

Why was it such a big a deal to just be straight with Tali and just tell her?

There were many reasons why Liara wasn't going to say anything.

First and foremost, as cliché as it sounded, she did it to protect her. Tali didn't need to be involved or aware of Cerberus and John.

Secondly, there wasn't any guarantee John would even be coming back in the first place.

What good would it do to tell her John was coming back, just for it not to happen?

It wouldn't. Bringing Tali through some high, just to relive the feeling of knowing he wasn't coming back for the second time?

Was that even a consideration?

No. It really wasn't.

Liara nodded to herself with finality.

The less people knew, the better.

Tali included.

No matter how guilty she would feel about it.

Liara ordered another cup of coffee and watched the waiter pour.

When he was done, she looked at the steaming brew with a disinterested look on her face.

"You know," The waiter began with a humble smile, "you look awfully unhappy drinking that."

"I need it." Liara answered dryly before looking at the young and attractive human man.

"I'm certain. Tell you what." The man placed a hand into his apron to fetch four little parcels of sugar and creamer.

"Add this, and I guarantee you'll like it a lot better."

"What is it?"

"You'll see." He wandered off to tend to another customer's order.

She read the little packets he left for her.

"Sugar…" She read with a monotone rasp before reading the other parcel, "...almond creamer."

Her frown grew dark.

She'd been drinking coffee all this goddamn time without the basic foresight to add something as simple as sugar and cream.

She couldn't help but pinch her nose at how laughably stupid that was.

She mixed the cream and sugar and stirred with a spoon before looking back out the window across the street to the district wall and Anderson's office a floor above.

How long would it be before Tali would come stepping down the stairs from his office?

Liara suddenly saw Tali start stepping down the stairs from his office.

Well then.

Liara held her stare from inside the SouthStar Café and idly started tapping her fingers against the hot mug as she considered what she should do.

Tali didn't know she was here. Or at least, Liara didn't think she did.

And as of ten minutes ago, Liara hadn't known Tali had been on the Citadel either. She'd only found out when she saw them walking up the stairs to Anderson's office.

Liara grumbled.

Maybe it was best if she go out and meet them.

Or maybe it was better if she just give Tali a call first to get a good idea of what mood she was in.

...All this time and you didn't think of this?

She peered a little closer and frowned.

Could that even be Tali?

It had to be. The iconic purple and light swirled pattern had to be of the same make.

And from what she could tell, even from this distance, that Tali wearing the black pendent from John.

Her gaze fell back to her new mug of coffee.

Yeah.

That was definitely her.

And if she looked good then...

Well.

She certainly did now.

When the two quarians finally step down the stairs, they exchange a couple words before glancing at the café Liara was in.

Liara felt a cold sweat shiver across her skin.

Maybe they _did_ know she was in here.

She did, after all, tell Anderson she was going to relax here.

When they started walking toward the front entrance, Liara's guess looked about right.

She started to collect her thoughts.

Any moment now, Tali would catch wind of Liara sitting alone and sit down across from her.

Probably give her an invisible stink eye.

And then they would talk.

And either it would end bad...

Or end _really _bad.

_Here goes..._

Both the quarians stepped inside.

And just as Liara guessed, Tali noticed her sitting alone at her empty booth with only a mug of coffee and little pastry to keep her company.

Tali gave Juel a look and he took the hint to find a something to drink at the bar.

As Tali approached, all she could think about was the distance that'd grown between her and the ever-so-lucrative Liara.

Tali took a seat across from her and said nothing for a moment.

That was definitely the stink eye Liara had guessed about.

The silence between them remained deathly quiet.

"Fancy seeing you here, Liara." Tali finally greeted with darkly furrowed brow.

"Likewise, Tali." Liara grimaced slightly without showing it, "Garrus told me to come. I wish he were here with us. But he always finds himself busy these days." She looked as if nothing were wrong and cupped her mug with two hands before smiling.

"Tell me."

Liara's eyes widen slightly and her smile waned into total seriousness.

"I can't."

Tali's voice dropped several decibels, but the crude and malignant tone did not. "Then we'll go somewhere where we _can_."

"You don't understand."

"Then. _make_. me."

**"**I came here to see you, Tali. Not to talk about our jobs." Liara's blue eyes carefully pierce through Tali's visor.

"Because Garrus _told_ you to come here. Told you to come see me."

"…and what of it, Tali? Is that so bad?"

Tali leaned back into her chair and went quiet when a waiter passed by them both.

Tali's slim jaw flexed as she processed and chewed over their conversation (Or whatever passed as one).

Seconds pass, but the silence ensued.

This was it. If Tali couldn't convince Liara to drop the act and tell her, she was going to hack her omni-tool.

She primed a temporary dropbox and began searching for a way to get unrestricted access to her files.

...really?

Tali suddenly felt a pang of guilt wrack her chest.

Not even a minute of talking to your old friend and you start hacking her files.

Fantastic.

It almost felt like betrayal.

But the potential payoff was too great to pass. Tali _had_ to.

The idea of Liara keeping something her that could be about John was too much to bear.

It was, in all essence, _infuriating_.

She held her glare for another long moment before folding her arms on the table.

Tali decided this was Liara's last chance. And she'd _better_ take it.

"Just tell me what Lazarus means." Tali said, "You've mentioned it once in a message."

Tali sat up straight, "_Garrus_ knows."

Tali's frown began to bare teeth as she leaned in closer toward Liara. _"Why. Can't. I."_

Once again, just as Tali expected, Liara didn't answer correctly.

"I'm sorry. I just... _can't_."

Tali started the hack.

All Tali needed was minutes at the very most. Then every byte of memory would be copied over to her.

She curbed the urge to beat a closed fist against the table. "I don't have time for this…" Tali murmured frustratingly before looking to Juel who'd occupied his time with introducing a straw through his induction port, "My friend here has one arm. Where do you think I can get him a new one?"

Liara's feeble smile, although hidden by her sad and tired eyes, returned.

"The Ullison Medical Center… they can help him. A cohort of mine back during my digs had to get his cybernetic limb replaced there. Considered one of the best on the Citadel."

**|/:ʜᴀɴᴅsʜᴀᴋᴇ ᴇsᴛᴀʙʟɪsʜᴇᴅ. ɪɴɪᴛɪᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴀɴsғᴇʀ.|**

_Keep her talking._

"What have you been doing for the past nine months?"

"Brokering… with information." Liara managed to say before sipping her coffee.

"An information broker." Tali clarified, "Where?"

"Illium…"

"Illium…?" She repeated mirthlessly while she rapped her fingers against the table.

"Yes… and I can't say much more."

"Not surprising."

Liara stalled herself to think by taking another sip of her coffee.

_What's happened to you, Tali? Has John's death changed you this much?_

Liara's eyes wither sadly at Tali before finding the rights words to say to her.

"I'm _sorry._" Liara reached for her hand and gripped it tightly before placing another above, "…I wish I could help you... If there was anything I could change, Tali, I would."

Tali suddenly felt herself choke up.

"Liara…" Her head shook slowly from left to right, "Don't… don't do this…"

"I _have_ to. You've changed so much." Liara offered with a teary eye as she pointed to her heart, "And it started here. You _loved _him Tali. And now he's gone. But believe me; Someday? Things will get better."

Liara's caring touch was killing her.

Making her feel guilty beyond comprehension.

"And how is that, Liara?" Tali said as she bit back tears, "explain to me."

"Believe me, Tali." Liara said with as much compassion as she put inside of just a few words, "Just believe me."

A long and trembling sigh bubbled from Tali's lips. "…Okay…"

Tali stopped the hack.

Either Liara was really good at making Tali feel guilty, or Tali was finally catching up to what she was just about to do to Liara.

**|/:ᴅɪsᴇɴɢᴀɢɪɴɢ ʜᴀɴᴅsʜᴀᴋᴇ. ʜᴀᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴀᴛᴛᴇᴍᴘᴛ ʀᴇᴅᴀᴄᴛᴇᴅ. ᴛʀᴀsʜɪɴɢ ʀᴇᴄᴏᴠᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴄᴏᴅᴇ. ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sᴜʀᴇ, ᴛᴀʟɪ'ᴢᴏʀᴀʜ?|**

Tali, without ever skipping a beat, confirmed with her computer to quit the hack completely.

_'Yes.'_

**_|/:ᴅɪsᴇɴɢᴀɢɪɴɢ|_**

"I will…" Tali's firmly grasped Liara's five, "I believe you. But I still need your help."

"Anything."

"If you're an information broker, that means you might be able to help my friend. He's looking for a pirate by the name of Captain Erer Jolak. He was a captain of some ship?"

"Hmm." Liara opened up her omni-tool and searched.

When she finally found out something related, Liara spoke up. "My sources say, if they're not mistaken, that Jolak was relatively infamous in the Terminus."

"Was?"

"Yes." Liara answered as she brought up the man in question, "His vessel scuttled several days after raiding a quarian ship some odd years ago. He was ready to dock on Omega when it happened."

"Do you have a picture of him?"

"Right here."

"Juel needs to see this himself." Tali said before turning around to get Juel attention.

Juel noticed her wave and came over.

"Need me?" He said simply.

"Does this look like Jolak?" Tali said before gesturing to Liara.

Liara showed Juel the picture on her omni-tool.

Juel eyed the profile of Jolak and finally nodded when he was done looking. "That's, uh, definitely him."

"Your target's dead. _Been_ dead. His ship scuttled after raiding a quarian ship."

Juel felt a pit settle in stomach when Liara told him the ship Samah was on had blown itself up.

All these years of wondering and he was finally faced with an answer.

One he didn't really want to hear.

There was no reason for Jolak to blow up his own ship. Especially after all the losses he'd taken after trying to raid Juel's old home all that time ago.

Which meant it had to have been done on purpose.

The only conclusion Juel could draw was that Samah somehow had escaped their clutches and blew their ship up by overloading its reactor.

Nausea overcame him.

"...Samah must've killed them." He said numbly before taking a seat.

"Uh..." Liara glanced between the two, "Who's Samah?"

"Jolak attacked the _Gognimae_." Juel answered distantly with a whisper, "I was on that ship when it happened. And they took her away from me."

"Juel..." Tali began, "You don't know for sure Samah was on that ship when it happened. She might've gotten out or—"

"—Really, Tali? Do you really believe that?"

Tali's reply died on her tongue.

No.

She didn't.

Juel, knowing that Tali wasn't going to reply, turned back to Liara. "Thank you." Juel murmured as he felt the tears coming, "I couldn't have asked for more."

"Juel…" Tali tried to reach for the man's shoulder, but he rose from his seat and went outside.

The two women watched him walk away until he disappeared around the street's corner.

"Go, Tali. I'm going to be on the Citadel for the next couple of days. We'll… find a hotel together?"

Tali got up herself and smiled, albeit lightly.

"I'd… like that."

**...**

"Juel, wait up." Tali called out as she caught up with him. He continued his wide stride into a dark corridor before finally turning around to face her.

"What?" Juel's answered callously.

"…What?" Tali said visibly confused, "Juel, you just walked off."

He shook his head stiffly from left to right and covered his face with his only hand.

"Fuck, Tali." His eyes squeeze shut at the thought of Samah. The mere idea of her getting caught in some atomizing explosion tore at the finest strands of his heart. "_Fuck_."

"I know..." Tali whispered as she stepped up closer to him, "I know, Juel. I know."

His trembling chest and deep grinding sobs crushed her. Juel, without it even being a choice, hugged her with his one arm and wept deeply for the uncaring universe they all lived in.

* * *

><p><strong>|One day Later...|<strong>

**|DATE: 9/25/2184|**

**|Location: Serpent Nebula/Citadel/Kithoi Ward/Karemein Suites/4****th ****floor/Room D-18|**

* * *

><p>Tali was dreaming.<p>

Dreaming of a beautiful night at some fancy restaurant under the summer stars.

Just across from her, on their small candle lit table, sat John with his classy suit and loose tie.

Just to make sure she'd dressed for the occasion, she looked down to see she was wearing, in equal measure, a classy dress.

John took a sip of wine from a tall glass before glancing at the modern looking fire pit next to them.

"John," Tali said with a small smile as she looked back up to him, "...I miss you."

"I know, hun." John replied with his own smile, "I miss you too."

He leaned in closer to her before putting a hand over hers. Whatever was left of his smile disappeared. "But you won't be waiting long."

"What are you talkin—"

"—Just… believe me, hun." He said as he raised her hand to kiss, "Just believe me."

"I don't understand… you're just… a figment. Some made up fabrication of my mind…"

"Yet," His smile returned and he stared at his meal, "you're still talking to me."

She gave him an even stare. "...I _love_ you."

"I love you too, Tali."

His smile never waned.

He looked up past the strung up lights hovering above them to the twinkling stars.

"Do you remember, John, when we crashed on Ullipses?"

"Yes." He nodded, "I do."

"Do you remember our night together?"

"Yes."

She looked up to the starry sky herself. "I'm still hoping, John. Hoping for you."

He leaned in close and caressed her cheek.

"Good." He murmured.

**...**

Liara gently shook Tali's shoulder. "Tali. Hey. Sleep well?"

Tali's eyes slowly bead open. When she finally could make out who was waking her up, she cocked an eyebrow.

Liara's gown wasn't leaving much to the imagination.

"Yes, I did." Tali answered before closing her eyes again and snuggling deeper into her pillow.

"Good." Liara said softly, "So... it's still early. Maybe now's a good time to get Juel to a hospital to see what a doctor can do for him."

Tali grumbled before sitting upright and nodding. "I guess you're right. I'll go ahead and wake him."

She turned to Juel and shook his shoulder. "Juel. Wake up. Time to get ready."

"Ugh."

"I know. You're still tired. But it's best if we go when it's still early."

"...fffine." He relented with a sigh as he got up, "I'm up, I'm up."

They got ready and left.

They traveled by taxi to the Ullison Medical Center so Juel could get in line for a new arm.

Since Juel didn't exactly have medical insurance, Tali would have to pay in full the amount needed for Juel to get his new arm. Fortunately, with Tali waving her hefty amount of credits with Liara's help, they booked Juel in for a pre-op in less than six days.

After that, they spent the rest of the day browsing the Kithoi mall (To Juel's utter disappointment) looking at clothes they'd probably never buy.

When they retired for the night, Liara got all of them a bottle or two of wine each to celebrate before finally succumbing to a drowsy buzz on the sofa and floor.

* * *

><p><strong>|DATE: 925/2184|**

**|Location: Undisclosed|**

* * *

><p>"I'd like to not think about it when I'm exercising." Jacob argued as he finished his last rep on the bench.<p>

"We can multi-task. And just _to be sure_, I'd like to not repeat what happened." Miranda said as she adjusted the weights on the leg press.

"Fair enough." Jacob sighed, "Only having a CNA course turned me more into a liability."

"…Then more training won't hurt you." She nodded as she began her own reps.

"Like I said, Miri, there's no point. The Lazarus project's almost done. I'll let the techs do their job without getting in the way."

"Shepard's still a working progress. And that might still be months away. While we've seen extensive cognitive and physical functioning, that doesn't—"

"—By the looks of it, Miranda, he'll be up and running in around, I'd say, three months. One extra month of physical conditioning under a rigorous regimen."

Jacob lay back on the bench press and began his fourth set. "But what do we do from there? If I remember, The reports say the SR2 and her crew still need to be worked on."

"Not necessarily. The Illusive man's already doubled his stock. The other cells will be aligning to our deadline." She stopped her leg press and gave Jacob a serious look. "—the loss of _New Georgetown_ seemed to have pressed his dues. The disappearing colonies are becoming more frequent; three more over the last two months."

Jacob finished his set before reaching for his water bottle. "Kyle and Penny had some of their family there…"

"Then they know how important the Lazarus Project is."

"We're about ready to hitting two years on this, Miranda. We need to find what's happening, and stop it."

She fixed him with a determined stare. "Agreed."

* * *

><p>AN:

Wondering why Tali had such a weird dream? Here's an answer if you want to know the reasoning behind it:

So, you're probably wondering why Tali had such a peculiar dream with John like that; as if he were actually talking to her. Believe it or not, it's actually Tali's subconscious telling her that John's coming back through allegory. If you notice, I made John repeat in her dream "Just Believe me, Tali." in almost the same way Liara did at the café in their little heated argument.

Her subconscious is pretty much convinced he'll be back, and her dream is a way of her subconscious telling her that.


	28. New Arm, New Life

**|CHAPTER 14|**

**|DATE: 10/2/2184|**

**|Location: Serpent Nebula/Citadel/Kithoi Ward/Ullison Medical Center /8th floor/Room H-8|**

* * *

><p>"How's it feel?"<p>

"Definitely better than the last one," Juel said when he flexed his machine fingers into a fist, "It's awesome."

Tali nodded happily and Juel gave her a serious look.

"Thank you." Juel mumbled.

"No need to thank me." Tali said, "Thank Liara. Without her good grace, we'd still be stuck getting new patient paperwork."

He nodded at that and kept staring at his new arm.

"Yeah."

"How long's the therapy?"

"A week." The salarian doctor next to her answered for Juel as he typed something into his tablet, "About eight hours each day with breaks in-between. After that, he'll be discharged from the hospital."

"Good." Tali said with a small smile before taking a few light steps backward to the door to leave, "Juel? Rest and listen to the doctor. Okay?"

"Don't worry." Juel said as he rolled his eyes, "I will."

Both the doctor and Juel watch the lovely woman leave.

"She yours?" The doctor asked.

"Mm? Oh. No. Not at _all_. And between you and me? I'm not interested either. My last girlfriend got killed in an explosion and I've yet to feel interested in love again."

"...Oh." Is all the doctor could mumble before burying his attention into his tablet and keeping his mouth shut for the rest of the check-up.

* * *

><p><strong>A Day Later...<strong>

_"John?" _

Tali's whisper sent ripples of unimaginable pain through his head and he screamed.

_"...You promised."_ She whispered sadly.

John fell to his knees and covered his ears in a vain attempt to stop the sound from killing him.

"Stop please! I didn't break it!" John screamed as sweat dripped from his nose as he squeezed his eyes shut, "I didn't!"

_"How could you...?" _She cried into him, _"How..?!" _

He felt blood run down his nose and he fell to the floor curled up in a ball. His hands pressed harder into his ears to stop the whispers and pain.

"Please! Stop! You're killing me!"

Tali was there no longer.

And just when John felt like he could take a breath, Saren appeared.

He stared at the poor looking soul and bent down to look at him with a distant look in his eyes.

**_Everyone You Know And Love _****_Will Perish._**

John forced himself to open his eyes. Past Saren, he watched Tali staring lifelessly into the eyes of a looming reaper high above her.

"Tali!"

_**The Visions Cannot Be Denied.**_

In some desperate attempt to escape the inevitable, Tali leapt away from the beam of energy racing after her. But she wasn't fast enough. A cloud of destruction and fire consumed her and John screamed.

Through the pain and raining dirt, John forced himself to stand before pushing through Saren's ghost to her.

"Tali!"

_"...Here, John."_

The smoke cleared away and John felt the blood drain from his face. "No... No nonono."

_"H—Hold me..."_ She whimpered quietly as her life pooled beneath her, _"...please." _

Saren reappeared over John's shoulder with his empty stare.

**_You Will All Die._**

* * *

><p>"There. On the monitor. Something's wrong."<p>

John's labored breathing from the lab forced Wilson to look up from his work.

As Shepard's eyes opened, he could see Wilson and Miranda walking around him.

"God. He's reacting again... I think he's waking up." Wilson set down his tablet on the counter behind him in a hurry before facing John.

"Wilson... give him the sedative! We can't risk another accident like this!" Miranda ordered harshly.

"Go!" Wilson said, "Get the techs and the crash cart!" Wilson firmly pressed Shepard's arm back down onto the table. "Do it, Miranda!" He yelled before turning back to John, "Commander, calm down. Lie still. You were just dreaming. Nothing happened."

John didn't relent and Wilson leaned over him more. "Shepard? If you wanna stay awake, you need to _calm_. _down_."

John did his best and started taking deep lungfuls of air to get himself to calm down.

"...Good. We're here to help. Okay?" Wilson set a hand on his shoulder as Miranda came up from behind with a look of what John could only guess as 'almost shocked'.

"My name's Doctor Wilson. You're in a medical facility. We'll answer any questions you have as soon as possible, okay?"

John tried to open his mouth to say something, but Wilson interrupted him quickly by raising a hand and giving him a serious frown.

"Don't talk. We had to repair some stuff in there. It's healing. You thirsty?"

John nodded and pain shot up like needles into his skull. He felt like groaning, but he stopped himself from doing that too.

"Okay... Don't move or you'll be on that bed for another three months. Got it? ...Good. I'll be right back."

Miranda kept staring at John and he ignored her. He looked up to see several cameras and instruments of all kind hovering around and above him.

His back felt damp and his skin moist. That nightmare he had just moments before really took it out of him.

Seeing Tali like that...

He didn't even want to think about it. So he kept staring at the ceiling and tried thinking about the last thing he could remember.

The collectors flashed into his mind. Ullipses. The crash landing.

It was all coming back to him. But the very last thing he remembered however, was being sucked out of the Denmark's cargo bay into space.

...Things got a little fuzzy after that. But the question remained. Where was he now? How long was he out?

...Did anybody else even survive?

_What about Tali? Or Garrus, Wrex, Liara, Ash, and everyone else in his crew?_

"Back." Wilson said with a pitcher and cup full of water. That Miranda woman still stood by him, staring.

"I'm going to put the straw in your mouth, Commander." Wilson said as he put the cup near his mouth, "Drink **_slowly_**. I _cannot_ stress that enough."

Just as he said he would, Wilson put the straw in John's mouth and he began to drink. When John looked satisfied, he pulled the straw away and set it beside him.

"Here's a notepad. Go ahead and write your questions down if you have any." Wilson handed him a paper and pen. "After, we'll ask you some questions too."

John scribbled sloppily on the paper and handed it back to Wilson to read.

-crew. where are they-

"God... he still remembers..." Miranda said, completely astonished.

John furrowed his brows in worry. _What the hell is that supposed to mean? _

"Anyone who survived the events of Ullipses were posted elsewhere..." Wilson handed him back the little notepad.

-who survived-

-Only half your crew lived, Commander." Miranda answered evenly, but under a tone of slight caution and understanding, "As for the non-Alliance crew? They came out alive. All of them."

John felt himself relax slightly.

-how long-

Both Wilson and Miranda exchange glances.

"...A long time." Wilson said quietly.

John wrote the words again before underlining them repeatedly. -how._ long.- _

"...It's the second of October, 2184, Commander. It's been almost a year."


	29. Meld Me

**|DATE: 10/03/2184|**

**|Location: Serpent Nebula/Citadel/Kithoi Ward/Karemein Suites/4th floor/Room D-18|**

* * *

><p>They were watching some broadcast on the vid screen. Soaking in some weird show about a dodgy law firm on Illium.<p>

Tali blankly stared on to the two characters talking.

"—This one's told you the truth, Baxley, this one considers you a friend."

"I ain't your friend. And cram the hospitality, jelly, I ain't in the mood for it."

"Then what is this one to you?"

"A business partner. A real shitty one."

"That hurts this one's feelings."

"You know, I might've smiled at the idea of us being friends two months ago? But finding out about your downplay of involvement in the money laundering our competitors have been doing down the street isn't helping our situation any! I mean, f—k! What the hell were you thinking?!"

"Just as this one wondered what you were thinking when you hired Arisa as a lawyer... she doesn't even have a license for law."

"Yeah, I know damnit. But that's completely different than trafficking drugs, jelly. I mean, even for Illium? You're an idiot!"

"Either puts our jobs at jeopardy."

"I'm gonna grab those tentacles of yours and hang you."

Tali didn't really know where the story was going. Probably because the series was well into its third season and was the first time she ever saw it.

Not that she cared really. She was never one to watch much TV. Understandably because she never had the time to.

Liara cast a glance at Tali and frowned. She didn't look all that well.

"Hey," Liara said to get Tali attention away from the vid, "how're you feeling? You okay?"

"I'm fine." She mumbled as she kept her attention glued to the screen. The hanar mentioned it not having a neck before the two characters drew up fists and tentacles to start pummeling each other.

"When did you get the pendent John made for you?"

Tali immediately detached herself from the vid and faced her.

"... a while ago. Why?"

"I'm just glad that Garrus got it to you." Liara answered.

Tali clutched the piece and looked at it. "Me too."

She kept staring at the necklace before finally facing Liara. "I'm sorry. For being an ass earlier."

"I understand."

"But _do_ you?"

"Yes, Tali. I do. You had every right."

Her gaze fell back to the necklace. "I'm not entirely sure John would've wanted to see me this way..."

Liara said nothing and Tali let her head hang low.

"Why'd he fall for me...?" Tali said quietly without the courage to look back up at Liara, "Why?"

"Because of who you are." Liara answered simply, "Of what's on the inside and not the outside, I think."

"...I miss him, Liara."

"I know." She answered before wrapping her arms around Tali and resting a chin on her shoulder, "It's okay."

"It's been so long... and it still hurts." Tali mumbled as she leaned into Liara, "He actually saw me. My face I mean."

"Did he?" Liara asked into her shoulder as she stared emptily at the wall. She could feel Tali's grief swell. It was nothing short of painful.

_If you're going to do something Liara... now's the time to do it. Give to her what she deserves._

Tali nodded numbly and didn't say anything.

Liara's placed both her hands on Tali's shoulders before leaning in close to Tali's face with a sad smile.

Visibly confused, Tali felt the urge to lean back, but didn't.

"Wh—what are you doing?"

_"Embrace Eternity."_

_..._

There was a term John used back on the ol' SR1. Had to do with his visions and Liara going into his head to make sense of them.

He'd never told anyone in particular really. But he did share it with Tali.

Total _mind_ fuck.

Tali didn't understand it much then. But she sure as fuck did now.

In _every_ way _conceivable_, Tali felt completely and totally violated.

Hell, Liara didn't even ask for fucking _permission. _It was like kicking down the front door of someone's home before blasting every window open in the middle of the best shit storm a thunder god could've ever made.

She felt something crack and whistle and pop. Her whole brain felt like it was sitting under an ice-pick.

And just before Tali could scream at the mere idea of dealing with this for another second, it subsided.

Gone completely.

She opened her eyes and saw nothing but an inky void that surrounded her. There was light... but it was black.

There were colors... but there weren't any.

She could smell something now. It was sweet and bright. Cold and crisp like the early morning air.

Her core felt warm too. And for the time being, she felt peace.

So this was what it was like, huh? Damn.

Tali didn't want to feel it, but she started to feel jealousy. Liara had done this to John every time she'd ever read his mind.

_Ugh._

"No, Tali. I didn't." Liara said but didn't, "It wasn't fun. At all."

Tali whirled to the voice-but-not-voice. She could hear her think?!

"Yes. I can feel what you think." Liara affirmed as she appeared out of nowhere.

Tali turned to stare at her and blushed. "Oh... Nice robe... thing."

Liara walked up to her. "You're wearing one too, Tali."

Tali looked down to see she was wearing a white flowy looking robe. She could see both her bare feet standing on blackness. "Huh."

"Come." Liara offered a hand, "Walk with me."

"...Liara? I'm not exactly used... to this."

"I know." Liara whispered but didn't, "It's okay."

"I see my feet." Tali mumbled, "I'm assuming you see my face too."

"When we meld, Tali, we share experiences." She explained, "Your face is well known to you. And because of that, your face is well known to me."

"Ah." Tali murmured, fairly confused.

"I know." Liara nodded, "It's confusing."

"Confusing? I can't even hide what I'm thinking. Watch."

_Liara's a giant asshole._

Liara frowned. "No. I suppose you can't."

They kept walking to nothing.

"Where are we going?"

"I'm taking you somewhere."

"Why are we even doing this?"

"I want to show you something."

The aimless path they'd been walking on stopped before fissuring. A set of steps rose to the air and a whirlwind of light spawned into existence. Tali didn't have to think too hard to think it was some kind of gateway.

"Keelah."

Liara stopped walking and pointed to the steps. "Go, Tali."

"...to where?"

"A memory."

With a second glance, Tali took the first step and climbed until she was face to face with the pooling of blue light. With a lot of thought, Tali finally stepped through.

...

She felt a torrent of frosty air spill over her. Chills crawled along her skin and the light consumed her a hundred times over.

Sparks fly and Tali suddenly is standing on dirt with a sky above and mountain ranges at the horizon. It took her moment to acclimate to the sudden change in scenery.

"...Where am I?"

"The past." Liara answered as she stepped up from behind Tali.

Tali started to recognize the mountains. Her face grew dark and she turned sharply to Liara.

"Why are we here, Liara. Why are we looking at Ullipses."

"...To see the last of your days with John."

Tali said nothing. And oddly enough, she wasn't taken aback. But she still gave Liara a long stare before turning back around to look back up at the sky.

She suddenly saw the Normandy. Saw its long trail of black smoke and flecks of paneling shredding off her beautiful body.

"That's you, Tali." Liara whispered, "Flying us to safety."

Tali kept staring at the Normandy and felt herself become stricken with anxiety. "God... I remember."

Just when the Normandy was about to make contact with the ground, the scene changed and the air grew cold again. Tali shivered.

She started to feel a fire. When she opened her eyes, Tali saw herself without her mask on, sitting next to John, closer than personal space would allow, talking and laughing together.

If Tali didn't have much to say when she watched the Normandy fall, she definitely didn't have much to say about what she was seeing now.

"You see this, Tali?" Liara waited for the memory of Tali and John to smile and laugh again, "It's beautiful."

Tali didn't say anything and kept watching him.

He looked alive.

Real even.

Just as lively as she remembered.

And as Tali stared into his eyes the same way she always did when she was stricken with love, she realized again how happy they were then.

Tali felt a tear welling in her eye.

_"God, Liara... I miss him."_

She watched herself and John leaning in to a kiss that never came. An explosion from somewhere far off interrupted them.

Liara ended the scene before they could see anymore.

"...Shame you two fell short of time."

"Had fate given me ten more seconds..."

All Liara did was nod sadly. "It's cliché isn't it?"

Tali faced her as the ground around them started to grow into steel walls. "What?"

"To have something always stop you."

"Story of my life, Liara. We were living inside a romance novel. I swear."

Liara laughed slightly when the setting was done morphing into John's quarters inside the Normandy.

Quietly, Tali looked on to John sleeping and spooning her under the covers.

"This is where he told me." Tali whispered faintly as she stepped up next to the bed to get a closer look, "He said: I love you."

Liara didn't say anything and Tali didn't need to turn around to know she was at a loss of words.

Moments pass and neither of them say anything. Tali's gaze eventually falter and she was left staring at her toes with tears starting to fall across her cheeks.

It looked so real. His gentle breathing. The warmth that radiated from him. She dropped to both her knees and kept staring numbly at her own memory.

However imaginary the tears that fell into her lap, they still felt real and painful.

_"Liara... I— I can't."_ Tali choked, _"I don't want to see this anymore."_

Liara put a hand on her shoulder and gave her an understanding nod. "Okay."

Tali watched the room dissolve from view.

"...Thank you."

"Of course." Liara said coolly as they moved on. Soon enough, they were inside a collector ship with pods strung about in rows with people inside them.

"Remember this?"

"...Yes." Tali said mutely, "This is where we rescued them... the crew I mean."

"Look." Liara said simply as she swayed in arm.

Tali turned around to see herself covered in clumps of dried mud and charred dirt from head to toe holding an unconscious John in her lap.

She stared on sadly at how bad both of them looked.

"Keelah." Is all she could mutter to say.

"We weren't at our best." Liara agreed quietly.

"Not at all." Tali whispered after finally looking away from her memory.

Tali was dreading what was coming next. Partly denial or not, she knew what this was leading to.

It was leading to the Denmark. It had to be. It's where this terrible nightmare ended… or for her, where it began. John died at the end of this memory. A lot of her friends on the Normandy died here. This wasn't anything she wanted a rehash of. _At all._

"…What's next?" Tali asked timidly with a frown as the scene began morphing into something else, "If it's— if it's what I think it is… then I don't want to go there, Liara."

Tali turned around, but Liara wasn't there.

"…Liara?"

The scene kept changing and her skin crawled from the cool air around her.

"Liara?"

Tali whirled around desperately for something blue, but she couldn't find her.

"Liara!"

The Collector ship soon turned into the Denmark.

"_Liara_… _please_. I can't relive this..." Tali whimpered desperately as she stood in front of the elevator in engineering, "Please!"

The elevator opened and she saw only herself step out.

John stayed in the lift.

—INSERT LOOSE GRIP SECTION HERE.

Witnessing the end of John was going to end her.

_"Liara!"_ Tali cried as she covered her ears to hold herself from hearing anymore,_ "Please! **Please** don't do this to me! God please don't, Please!" _

Tali fell to her knees and tears spilled from her eyes in waves,_ "No. No no no. I can't. I can't do this again. I can't."_

She watched in total horror as the elevator doors close over John before leading him to death.

And as Tali screamed to recompense the mistake of letting John down to his grave all that time ago, she was swallowed whole by fire and flames of the Denmark being torn in two.

* * *

><p><em>"Tali. Wake up!" <em>

Tali realized she was lying on the floor. It felt as if the whole Rayya were on top of her.

Both her eyes stung and she struggled to open them. "Ugh…"

"Goddess. Tali. Are you alright? Are you okay?"

As Tali started to get her bearings, she felt her stare turn cold to the blue blot hovering over her.

"You son of a _bitch_."

"—What?"

"Why would you do that to me?!" Tali heaved with a snarl as she propped herself up, "Why!?"

"Tali— I don't know what you're talking about…"

"Don't know what I'm talking about?" Tali said with a forced laugh, _"DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?!" _

Liara put two hands up in total disbelief of Tali.

"You pushed me out of the meld…" Liara explained even though she didn't really understand why Tali was acting the way she was, "Whatever you saw after the Collector ship wasn't me… I swear."

"Get. _Away_. From. Me."

Liara did as ordered and backed up. "T—Tali… please."

"Don't you ever do that to me again." Tali intoned darkly, "_Ever_."

Tali got to her feet and brushed past Liara to her bedroom.

"I'm sorry…" Liara whispered with tears pooling in her eyes. "Please believe me… _I'm_ _sorry_."

Tali didn't hear the apology.

* * *

><p><strong><em>-Meanwhile...<em>**

"Okay Juel. This one's twenty kilos. Right behind you. Care lifting that for me?"

Juel turned around and saw the weight. "Yeah. I can do that."

He bent down, grabbed the weight, and brought it over his head with his new hand.

"Excellent." His doctor said with a smile, "Now put it out in front of you. Full extension please."

Juel obeyed and did as he was told and grinned a little at how seamless it was to do that.

"Much stronger than your old arm. No doubt you can tell."

"Definitely. It's incredible." He set down the weight and pointed to his regular arm. "Should probably replace this one too then, yeah?"

All the doctor could do was laugh and Juel felt happy.

"You'll have to lose it first Juel. Sorry."

"I might just do that, doc." Juel said as he scratched an itch on the top of his head with his new arm, "I mean, it feels just like my old one."

"But it isn't, unfortunately." His doctor explained, "It's much stronger than what you think. You have to be wary of your new strength."

"How strong are we talking?"

"Strong enough to fatally injure yourself. It's easily capable of manipulating weights above 150 kilos. Fortunately, we've installed a VI that inhibits your strength as to not injure you or someone else."

"…Is it possible I bypass these restrictions?"

"Well, of course." The salarian said as he typed something into his computer, "You're quarian, Juel. I'm sure you could bypass anything. But legally, I'm supposed to tell you not to for your own safety. Otherwise you might hurt yourself. _Badly_."

"I won't push myself." Juel reassured, "I swear."

* * *

><p><strong><em>-Three hours later...<em>**

The bathroom's tiled floor was, like everything else in the apartment, creamed tan. The metal tiling that stretched across the room wasn't assembled as well as it should have been either. Likely built from some group of underpaid illegal-immigrated construction workers looking for a quick means of getting years of aging of this place didn't do it any good either. Poorly built bathroom or not, Tali sat on the floor anyways with her back against the long side of the tubs with the door locked and closed.

She stared emptily at nothing and she couldn't stop the recent memories from lapsing across her vision.

Then she squeezed her eyes shut to try and keep away what practically amounted to a hallucination.

She wrapped her arms around her knees and cringed as she felt another wave of pain run across her when she saw the Denmark explode and her with it. "God _Damnit_."

Spending time here for three hours inside a bathroom no bigger the size of her cubicle wasn't helping her health.

Neither was Liara pacing just outside the door either.

"Leave me alone!" Tali demanded.

"No. Not until you get out of there!" Liara replied dully as she wiggled the door knob just to see if it had magically opened, "I'm sorry… how many time do—"

Liara didn't finished because Tali opened the door. Her glare tapered even more on Liara.

"…I'm going to check on Juel."

"Okay… I'll be here then." Liara said, sensing the lack of any invitation to come along.

"Good." Tali huffed before squeezing past Liara and going for the front door.

Liara stare was kept resolutely forward and she kept listening to the petite footsteps until the sound of a door opening and closing was heard.

When she knew Tali had exited, Liara felt her shoulders sag and her head fall.

"What am I doing…" She whispered to herself.

Her omni-tool started ringing.

"…Hello?"

"Dr. T'Soni."

Liara felt her mind go blank and heart skip a beat or two.

"I—illusive man…"

"Have I interrupted anything, doctor?"

"No… just some thoughts."

"Are you free?"

"No. I'm not in the time or place to—"

"Doctor T'Soni. Do not lie. I wouldn't broadcast myself openly in the midst of a public building until I've been made very aware of where you are and the company you're with."

"How'd you—"

"Kithoi Ward, Karemein Suites, 4th floor, Room D-18. A rather lax decision in hotel choice wouldn't you think? It's been mentioned in several reviews to have sub-par living conditions." He smiled sincerely and took a sip of his drink.

"Tali picked it." She remarked lamely.

"I'm aware. It says so on the invoice." He snuffed the cigarette he was holding into his ash-tray and kept his smile up before admitting another cigarette into his mouth, "Given Ms. Zorah's humble aptitude and reputable spending habits, it would come naturally for her to pick it."

Liara cut straight to the chase. "You're watching me… What for?"

"A precaution, Dr. T'Soni. Protection not only for Cerberus, but for you as well. You've helped us, but you've garnered the attention of a _very_ dangerous enemy. It's an obligation, if not necessity."

"I don't want to be spied on."

"I will respect that. The personals of your life will remain anonymous and unmonitored. You have my word."

As much as Liara felt that wasn't true, she didn't want to argue the point.

Lliara went back to the living room and went to the fridge for her leftovers from last night.

"…What did you need to talk about?"

"I have tremendous_—" _The Illusive man stopped himself from saying anything more and, instead of continuing, took a drag from his cigarette. "Knock knock."

Liara looked up, and sure enough, a trio of small knocks on the front door was heard.

The Illusive man winked out of existence of his own accord and Liara decided to answer the door.

"Who is it?"

"…Tali."

Liara didn't hide the confused look on her face when she opened the door.

Neither of them said anything and they both stared awkwardly at each other for several seconds.

"I, uh… forgot my keycard." Tali said quietly as she wrung her hands together at her waist embarrassingly. She brushed past Liara and quickly grabbed the plastic card sitting on the stand next to the door before rushing out with barely a mumbled good-bye.

When Liara closed the door, she waited until Tali's footsteps were long gone before taking a breath. "Too close."

The Illusive man came back and nodded. "Agreed. Would you like me to continue?"

"Please."

"Shepard has been awake and conscious twice now."

Liara felt herself at a loss of words.

"What…? I— That's _incredible_."

"That's not all." TIM said, "He remembers who he was, the Normandy, and all of you. To what extent however, has yet to be determined."

Liara still hadn't said anything.

"…T'Soni?"

"I'm sorry. It's just… that's a lot to take in."

"I fulfill my promises and I do not fall back on my word. Maybe someday you'll realize that we really _are_ on the same side."

"…Maybe."


	30. Try to Remember

She lied about visiting Juel. Currently, it was the least of her concerns.

He was well off on his own.

He didn't need a visit from her just a day afterward, anyways.

She was headed off to the restaurant that John had taken her all that time ago…and it seemed the anniversary of that day was nearly due. She took a taxi from Kithoi to Zakara while sipping on her tiresome thoughts for the entire duration. Occasionally, her wandering eyes would settle on an insignificant piece of the Citadel until it passed by her peripherals.

When she arrived, she weaved through the commonplace before meandering around the stores that held little interest to her curiosity. And Tali couldn't help but notice the ornate clothing that tailored her suit had earned a few looks.

Fortunately enough, they looked more curious than anything else.

Finally, she reached her destination.

Her eyes drink in the restaurants sign held above the doorway the same way she did when John brought her here. Tactfully, her fingers grasp the door's handles before entering the building's foyer.

"Hi! Welcome to Yan'Sues! My name is Sarah! How many guests are going to be with you today?"

Tali's averted eyes cease their pensive inspection before looking to the woman.

"Just one…"

"Hey… I remember you…! Or… at least, I think I do." The waitress spoke up as she told the quarian to follow her with a menu in hand.

"Y-yes… you were our waiter the last time I was here…"

"That was a long time ago, wasn't it?"

"…how do you remember me?"

"Not many quarians eat here. I could recognize your voice." They came across several people consuming their attention with their meals. "Where's your other half?" Sarah gave Tali a small table—the one Shepard and Tali had used all that time ago—after handing her the menu she held. "Is he coming later?"

"N-no…"

The waitress' face seemed to give an understanding nod. "Oh… I'm sorry to hear that."

"No… not like that…" Tali's head fell to look at the table's recently cleaned top. "He… was taken from me… ummm... Killed…"

The waitress immediately frowned. "…I'm so sorry to hear that." The human put a hand on Tali's shoulder. "What was his name?"

She mouthed humbly before looking to the woman. "John Shepard."

The hold on her shoulder seemed to have tightened a bit as she said the name.

"You're Tali'Zorah nar Rayya." She spoke her name more out of assertion than that of a question.

"Yes." Tali omitted the idea that she should properly correct her name.

"I… I'm so sorry… I just… I can't…"

"It's okay… we both know it was a long time ago. I just… came by. To remember."

"If it means anything, ma'am… I'll buy. It's the least I can do."

The waitress lightly touched Tali's necklace to emphasize her words. Shortly after, Sarah left to give the quarian much needed space to ponder over her long shelved thoughts.

Tali's eyes slowly slip away from the window's view to stare at the vacant seat across from her.

John sat here at one point in time. Now, the only thing she could grasp and hold onto was a distant living memory; some _improvised_ ghost of John that didn't exist anymore.

Her brows furrowed as she looked out to the cities colorful display of plants along the porch-line.

Relative to the heartache she had felt earlier, the pin prick of grief swelled again when she mused over her brooding and reclusive memories.

The frozen ice in her heart was poisoning her pain inflicted chest.

Coming here was a mistake.

* * *

><p>A week had passed. The remaining time on the Citadel was uneventful. Conversations between Liara and Tali afterward were carried forth in careful caution. Liara's delicate padding in her words angered the quarian, but always managed to think better than to be forthcoming on the lucrative and fairly enigmatic information broker.<p>

The visits later in that week were hardly spent seeing Tali's friend, Juel. As a matter of fact, Juel was barely allowed visiters due to the duress of his physical exercises to practice his new arm.

When he finally returned, he looked no worse for wear. His suit's tight sleeves had covered his synthetic limb as if nothing ever happened.

With bags in hands, the three finally exchanged their solemn good-byes before separating at the airport.

What else could be said?

Liara _actively_ withheld information that Tali frantically wanted answers to.

She _actively_ danced around the questions Tali had desperately—and angrily—questioned and even begged for.

She _actively_ spoke Tali out of indulging her senses with truth and revelation about 'Lazarus'.

The quarian's apology to Liara was utterly empty. The grief and swelling animosity towards her grew with every moment that passed by her.

"Hey. You ready?" Juel's hand slowly waves in front of Tali's face as he croaked his words.

Her bland and rather ceaseless thoughts were spliced—a sudden reprieve from the overbearing weights of thinking.

"Yes. Got your stuff?" She asked through a small smile as they continue walking through the airport's extravagant hallways filled with travelers.

"One backpack." He murmured as they both take an escalator to the second floor.

"Same… I did get some juice for us… I thought we could celebrate… you know. For your new arm."

"I'd like that, Tali." His unseen smile beams at her when she clumsily sifts through her bag to retrieve the small parcels of liquid.

"Here." Her deft fingers drop the container of sweet juice into his palm. He nods his approval before waving her over to sit on a table in front of a small sandwich shop. He took it eagerly before puncturing the duct seal from his helmet to package.

"Good stuff… always good stuff. Honestly… where do you go to find these?"

"I took a visit to a restaurant that purifies food for you." She followed the monotonous procedure to consume the juice.

"I see… Thank you Tali." He takes another long swig before speaking out again. "Oh, did you message Councilor Anderson? Did you tell him we're leaving?"

"Yes." She muttered through a swallow. "He knows we're leaving. And he also gave us immunity to C-sec and paid for our travel back…" Her eyes falter as she fumbles with the plastic bladder she held in her hands. "He gave us first class…"

"What…?"

"I tried to tell him it wasn't necessary… but he wouldn't listen to reason." Her eyes roll before smiling warmly at the message, "But he said a Citadel hero should be comfortable."

"Well… not that I'm complaining." His hand gestured toward her before rapping his fingers against the table. "I've never ridden first class on a ship before…what do you think it'll be like?"

"One, I don't think a quarian has for centuries. Secondly, it's going to indulge our every whim."

"I think I'm going to be sick to my stomach." Juel feigned by placing a hand over his visor before chuckling. "Come on. We can enjoy it. Vids, drinks, ample amounts of space…"

Her own small laugh followed. "I guess so."

"Both their parcels of purified liquid cough dry air. Simultaneously, they sever the section seal before tossing the spent packets into a nearby bin.

"Ready, Tali, to go back to the Migrant Fleet?" Juel imitated a gruff and military like voice before pointing off to the Airport's Travel Security Agents that stood waiting.

She replied, her tone dripped and brimmed with sarcasm. "I'm ready to get groped by handsome Turians, if that's what you're saying."

His reply was mirthful. "Keelah, Tali… Don't tell me you've got a thing for _Turians_."

"I don't know…" She played along with the tease. "Garrus was pretty good looking…"

Juel stared at her for good number of seconds before answering. "This conversation is over."

She mustered a snort before stepping into the fairly long line of security. "I was just kidding, Juel. I'm only xeno for Humans."

"And for good reason… damn, Human women are… _whew_. What's the word they use? _Hot_?"

"And what's wrong with quarian women, _huh_?" She gave him a light glare before smiling.

"Nothing! The only thing Humans lack though are curvy legs… too straight…"

"I've made due." Tali countered through a snort.

"So you have." He gave her a hard pat on the shoulder.

Tali decided to change the subject. "You never did tell me how your physical rehab was doing."

"It's physical therapy, actually… and it was easy… a little clumsy at first, but… good."

"How much more powerful is your arm?"

"If I truly maximized its potential, it would rip freely from my body."

"Please tell me the doctors put a VI to—"

"Yes, Tali. They did. It couldn't happen."

She breathed a sigh of relief before taking another long step forward in the line with Juel.

"Good… I'd hate to repeat this again… and I don't think I could afford another surgery like that… considering we didn't have Health Insurance."

"Yeah…" He trailed off as Tali finally stepped into the security scanner. "I would too… definitely." His gaze trailed off as he gave himself a grin.

* * *

><p><strong>-Two Days Later-<strong>

"The works of old steel, formed through ceaseless toil in the maker of hands; molds our past and sets our future... I shall prevail." Juel's grip on the joystick wanes as the traffic controller takes his time to process the clearance request.

"Copy, O'joy-4. We'll get you situated. We're having some problems with our only available cradle. Please hold."

"Copy, Control. We'll make due with our time. Our ship is clean. I repeat, our ship is clean. Belay the sanitation teams. A security detail will do just fine."

"Acknowledged, O'Joy. Out."

The man lay back in the new seat before patting the arm rest. "Think Suvai'Eem will appreciate his new replacement for Tanis-1?" He turned to face her while craning his neck to the side to prop his head for rest.

"Well, we did make a promise, didn't we?" Tali's arms crease under her breasts before leaning forward into the chair adjacent to Juel. "I don't think he'll like the human name though."

Juel gave Tali a grin. "He can get over it."

"Control to O'Joy-4, please prioritize this message, over." Juel's prosthesis grasped the radio's mic before placing it tersely over his vocalizer.

"This is O'Joy, go for message, over." Juel's voice hardened at the controller's relatively harsh tone when he replied.

There was a sizable pause in the controller's response. "Admiralty is requesting that you be transferred to the Rayya as soon as possible. They say it's urgent."

"Okay, Control. We'll be heading there. Thank you." Both quarians look to each other before shrugging.

"Keelah'Selai. Out."

"I wonder what's going on…" Juel muttered quietly to himself before leaning further into the seats lumbar support. Before letting his head drop to get a good view of the ceiling, he looked to Tali chewing on the fairly abrupt announcement.

"We're going to find out soon enough. Go ahead and uplink with the fleet's main traffic data stream. Find where the Rayya is." Tali took a seat next to Juel before placing two digits carefully along the circumference of her small dangling piece of jewelry around her neck.

A hollow pit fall into her stomach. No doubt her Father had requested to be notified of her arrival back to the Neema. She could only wonder what her dad could want from her.

"Already on it… looks like it'll be a twenty minute travel time…" Several more seconds passed as Juel scrolled through the information. "…looks like there might be some delays too."

"My father will give us some leeway if it's important enough."

"Good enough. Plotting course. And there we go." The chair squealed when he leaned even further into his chair. Casually, his digits intertwine before placing them both against the back of his helmet. "…any idea of what they want?"

"No. Not a clue." She turned to him before shrugging casually.

His blank mask gives her a good idea of what he was expressing.

"I don't know, Juel. We'll find out, okay?"

"If you say so."


	31. Cypher

"Hey dad."

"Tali." Rael, who'd been spending the better part of an hour looking at a screen, shot up from his seat to greet his daughter, "Your travels went well…?"

"Yes."

"Good." Rael grasped Tali's hand and shook it, "I'm glad you're safe."

Tali gave him a long sideways glance.

It was odd to see him so...

Jumpy.

Rael turned to Juel and gave him a nod. "Juel. Good to see you in company. I hope your arm is doing well?"

"Much." Juel answered quietly.

"I have news." Rael began before pacing around his lab, "Your pilgrimage gift... I just saw the recording of the singing woman... the one you said you saw on Rayingiri."

Her brow furrowed. "What of it?"

"It was a _message_. An _encryption_."

"An encryption?"

"More like a cypher, right?" Juel caught on as he pointed to the data scrolling across one of the dozen or so screens in the room.

"Exactly." Rael said tersely, "The geth were studying something."

Tali frowned when Rael turned on the holo-projector. Just as promised, she watched the same woman all that time ago singing in front of her hushed audience.

And it was beyond weird. According to her dad, the geth were using her as an e-mail.

"Why would the geth use a cypher? _Especially_ like this?"

"Part of me doesn't want to know." Juel murmured through a sigh as he leaned against a table.

_"_I mean,_ w_hat even gives you the impression that this could be used for that?" Tali's frown deepened, "…it's an awfully _organic way_ for the geth to be communicating. Don't you think?"

"It is, Tali'Zorah. And it's _exactly_ what I've been trying to figure out." The unmistakable lilt of Daro'Xen's voice could be heard entering the room from behind Juel and Tali.

"Daro… a _pleasure_." Juel said when he faced her.

"Likewise, Juel'Kaan." Daro's undertone did little to hide her coupled apathy.

"You have history with Daro?" Tali hissed quietly.

"Enough for me not to like her." Juel said before giving Daro a steady glare.

"Please, Daro. Continue."

She nodded to Rael before approaching one of the still frames of the singing woman.

"Look at the fabric of her clothing." Daro said. Her fingers traced the frill of her dress. When the blank stares finally returned to Daro, she explained further, "There's a signal running along the length of it."

"How?" Juel asked.

"Quite simple really."

Juel crossed his arms. "Care to _elaborate_?"

She stared at him. "Short-burst infrared light. Homogenous nifrometry linked with tertiary aquadators that sync with Hieghmohn's code. Simple as that."

"That was a mouthful." Juel mumbled.

"Indeed, darling." Daro's smug tone made Juel's eyes roll.

"Magnify by eight, Rael. Quadrant two point five please. There at her shoulder. Play it at half the speed. Thank you."

The magnified image of the singing woman's shoulder, as Daro promised, began to fluctuate into a distinct pattern of lights.

"What does it tell us?"

"Coordinates to a solar map. And a star pattern."

"But why an optical one? Why would the geth do that?" Juel still seemed unconvinced.

"Deception, Juel. Our best guess is that the geth developed a contingency with Saren and Sovereign when in contact with other organics."

"By doing what an organic would do." Juel said nonplussed.

"_Precisely_."

"It didn't seem to work." Juel countered.

"Quite the contrary. I'll entertain you with an analogy, Juel. Imagine a hair, split into a millionth of a fraction. That small _insignificant_ piece represents the fraction we _now_ understand. The information your _girlfriend_ provided to us is so fascinatingly complex."

Tali's eyes narrowed into slits. By no extension was Juel a romantic interest. A significant other, yes. A friend who'd known and experienced first hand what it was like to lose someone you loved to something beyond your control.

And Daro knew it.

But Daro _loved_ pushing buttons.

Ones that _really_ didn't need pressing.

Rael leaned onto the table with a glare that would have sliced through her thin little suit.

"_Daro_."

"Mhm?"

"Let's keep this professional. _Shall we_?"

She looked at Rael and relented. "Very well."

"Those coordinates… Where would they lead us to?" Tali asked.

"The Dholen system within the Far Rim."

"What's significant about the Dholen system?"

"A quarian observation colony established on Haestrom some three hundred eighty years ago."

"Haestrom." Tali repeated with a whisper, "...What makes this interesting?"

"We're not really sure." Rael let out an exhaustive sigh, "All we know is that Haestrom's colony was established to observe Dholen's magnetic corrosion and solar output. The star is a red giant. But it erupted into one several years ago prematurely… and no one knows why." Rael placed a palm over his visor before continuing. "…But if the geth are interested in it… and if 'Sovereign' the Reaper was investing a considerable amount of his geth army into studying Dohlen, then it's a cause for concern."

Tali's eyes widened at the mention of Sovereign. "How do we know _Sovereign_ was involved?" Tali asked.

"The 'cypher' was an acting report sent from the Far Rim to a designation titled: Sovereign, Old Machine: Nazara." Daro then shrugged before placing the majority of her weight on a foot. "At least… that's how we've managed to decrypt it."

The four quarians stare quietly for a lengthy sum of seconds before Tali spoke.

"I need to go there." Tali murmured, "I need to go there and find what Sovereign and his geth were looking for."

Daro's couldn't help but scoff. "Tali. Your aspiration to uphold Commander Shepard's torch is quite… _admirable. _Though I can't help but question your judgement_."_

"You keep Shepard -**_out-_** _of this_." Tali forced a finger against Daro's chest, "Am. I. _Absolutely_. _Clear_?"

Daro's glowing eyes look at the offending finger before giving the woman a bland smile.

"Did he _pop_ your little suit, Tali girl? Hm?"

"**_E_**_nough_!" Rael's fist slammed against the table before pointing at the other admiral, "You are _out_ of line. Your work has been absolutely valuable, Daro. Now _leave_."

Thinking better than to inflame Rael's thinly sliced patience, she, as hard as it was, gave her best unseen smile before waving good-bye. "A pleasure, you three."

She stepped out of the lab as quietly as her nimble feet could allow before closing the door behind her.

The remaining three watch the door close before breathing a sigh of relief.

_Finally_.

The acidic aura around Daro managed to leave an arrogant stench in the room… it'd probably be days before the ship's scrubbers could rid the reeking attitude away.

"Do you want to do this, Tali?" Rael asked.

"Yes. Absolutely."

"Good. I know I can trust you." The mentally aged Admiral sighed before turning off the holographic projector, "I'll have Gerrel handle the logistics… Two months minimum preparation time. I'll have my advisors develop an OPORD with him."

"Thank you, Father." She let the air hang awkwardly for a moment before closing the distance between them, "I love you, dad."

"I love you too, Tali. Come here." Both his palms rise up and urge for her to embrace him.

Cautiously, she approached her father and gave him a hug that could've lasted a lifetime.

"Be safe, Tali, when you finally have to go to Haestrom… remember that it's in geth space. I shouldn't have to remind you how dangerous it is."

"I… I will, dad. How many missions have we done?"

His palm cupped the back of her helmet before placing her at arm's length. "A lot, Tali. A lot. You can go now. Maybe I'll see you sometime on the Neema… if I have time."

"I'd like that."

* * *

><p>"You've received my update sir?" Wilson's clothes and lab coat looked none worse for the wear when he spoke, but the sags under his eyes spoke volumes for the amount of work he'd poured out from his suffering complexion. "Especially about the Shadow Broker?"<p>

"Yes. Your scale of progress on Shepard has soared _exponentially_. Even I had my doubts. I'm glad you proved me wrong."

Wilson frowned inwardly. He was resurrecting the clinically _dead _for the absolute first time in history and the best he could get out of the man was a professional compliment. Had he been in public, he'd be swimming in intellectual and financial wealth whilst walking up to a podium for a nobel prize to give some fancy speech in a fancy suit.

Doctors and scientists from across the galaxy would have come to hear his personal testimony to such a claim.

That and he could finally get laid with reputable women. He couldn't help but mentally chide himself.

"Can I get a raise yet?" Wilson asked with a mirthful grin.

"Yes. You can."

"Wow. That was easy."

"Your work and your loyalty deserve their proper merit. All of it is _excellent_ news. Though the Shadow's Broker's attempts at espionage, are not, however."

"A little more than espionage, sir. I had some technicals extract information from a virus that he provided me to use against our security network. Needless to say, they've sent you a 'patch' of sorts to update the exposed defects in our system. You can have your own team evaluate the findings."

The Illusive Man's brushed titanium arm rest, accompanied with his recommended dosage of chilled burden, is pressed against the man's fingers.

"Forward the information."

"I'm still worried, sir. And Miranda has reason to believe so, too."

The Illusive man's glass is raised toward the hologram. "Wilson, you need not worry. Miranda will be well informed of our next move."

"Okay. I have to get back to it, TIM. Take care of yourself. Thanks for the raise." The doctor gave Harper a slight dip of the head before terminating the QED.

TIM lit another thinly rolled cigarette and smirked. Half the reason The Illusive man hired Wilson was for his pragmatism. He liked it—knowing that Wilson kept things friendly and professional, was something the Illusive man had learned to respect. And his respect for the man soared when Wilson eagerly handed over information that could have compromised the Lazarus project in its entirety.

He'd be sure to reward him for his loyalty.

"Have Miranda extend a pay grade raise for Wilson's efforts." He spoke to his personal communicator and waited for a reply.

"Yes sir."

* * *

><p>Ironically enough, the sun dress Tali wore, was stunningly extravagant. John could never really measure how strikingly beautiful she was.<p>

But he knew it was just a dream. Watching her like this with a smile full of bliss...?

This wasn't real.

Their arms were hooked too. They were walking down a path inside of some large park.

People trailed behind them too. John looked to see Garrus close behind with Wrex, and Liara not too far off.

Where Ashley was, he didn't know.

"Look at the flowers and trees, John…" She whispered with her toothy smile, "Aren't they beautiful?"

He turned back to face her and gave her a loving smile. "Yeah..." He murmured as they kept walking, "Definitely are."

His smile turned into a beaming grin."I love you, Hun."

"I love you too, John." She said before putting an arm around his waist.

"Spirits." Garrus guffawed, "Can you guys save that for tonight?"

"Jealous, Garrus?" Wrex said with his sly smile, "Wish that was you instead?"

Garrus didn't answer.

Both Wrex and Liara laugh at his expense.

They continued walking aimlessly along the path for a while before John finally decided to speak.

"So... Where we going?"

"Not really sure..." Tali answered,

John gave Tali a thoughtful frown before pointing up the small hill on their left.

"Let's go up there then. What do you say?"

"Good idea," She nodded, "We can watch the sunset."

They climb up to the top of the little hill before picking seats on the grass.

The sight was marvelous. Ahead of them, proud mountains topped with snow pierced the sky. The warm sun sat just above, cradled between a valley.

"...Where are we, Tali?" John asked with a whisper.

"Home, John. We're home." She gave him a wet kiss on the lips right when Rannoch's sun set along her glacial mountains.

**…**

Wilson entered John's room, went up to his bed, and slightly shook his shoulder to wake him from sleep.

He had convinced Miranda to let John sleep for another two hours. The mental and physical burdens he'd been carrying had been taking their toll, and pushing their project too far could bring in some ill effects that wouldn't look all that great on the paperwork.

Fortunately enough, the argument between the two didn't last long. She was inclined to agree with the man, considering the circumstances.

"Commander. Hey there. You need to wake up."

John grumbled and didn't say anything.

"Come on. You got to wake up. You've been sleeping for a good ten hours."

"Fine, fine." John muttered dryly without opening his eyes, "I'm awake. Jesus."

Wilson sighed. "...How you feeling?"

John sniffed and smacked his lips, but kept his eyes closed. "I'm fine. Wish you hadn't woken me up though."

"I know. I convinced Miranda to let you sleep for a little while longer." Wilson said, "Did you sleep well at least?"

"Yeah." John answered, "I did."

He always slept well when he dreamt of her.

"Are you still dreaming?"

"...Yes."

"That's good. Means your brain's still working."

"Can I have some water?"

"Absolutely." Wilson poured him a styrofoam cup full of icy water and gave it to him.

John accepted the cup, sat up in his bed, and drank deeply. Then he lay back down and rest his head on the pillow before sighing. "Thanks."

"Of course." Wilson put on his stethoscope, "Ready? Let's get started."

John kept his stare at the ceiling while Wilson started his usual exam.

This was his second week awake? Third maybe?

John didn't remember exactly.

But John's first week?

...It was painful.

The physical therapy only took him so far. He could handle that.

But his heart, on the other hand...

His heart was still killing him.

A day had yet to pass where he didn't think about Wilson and Miranda telling him he'd been in a coma for nearly a year.

That was a _long_ time.

Long enough to know that anyone close to him was probably gone.

Long enough to know that Tali was probably gone too.

He'd cried silently to himself alone that night.

Sobbed until the tears burned his eyes.

Wept himself utterly stupid before sleep took him from his despair.

She was probably with another man.

Living aboard one of the Flotilla's ships.

And him forgotten.

Knowing that robbed him of everything. And because of that, he felt empty and alone. Depression followed soon after. It usually got worse when he went to bed and had nothing to do but think.

John gave the ceiling a crestfallen look when Wilson finally finished his quick exam and walked out the door.

seeing that he alone only with the cameras to watch him, he realized the dream he had just moments ago seemed less passionate now.

But some small piece of him whispered out and told him to search for her anyways after all this.

To find her and make things right. Even **_if_** she had moved on.

It was the biggest 'if_'_ of John's life.

Hopefully, no matter how far fetched it felt, that everything would turn out in his favor.

And _if_ it did? He'd hold her close to his new heart.

And this time, he'd never_. Ever. _Let her go.


	32. Anniversary

**|Date: 11/02/2184|**

**|Location: Aboard the Neema|**

**|Time: 0600, local standard time.|**

* * *

><p>The alarm on her small nightstand started ringing.<p>

Her eyes, tightly shut from her long night of sleep, bead open slowly to get a look of the time.

"Ugh..."

She hated that alarm.

Most annoying goddamned noise that'd ever graced her ears, if she told the truth.

0600 she read on its little display.

She heaved a dark and tired sigh.

She didn't like to keep up with dates and times.

Just work.

Nothing else.

Keeping up with dates and times meant keeping up with things she'd much rather leave behind.

A way to keep the tragedies she'd experienced exactly where she wanted them to be.

Forgotten.

And at the bottom of her thoughts.

She knew she could try.

But it never really worked.

The alarm yelled for her attention.

She gave the thing an acrid and groggy looking glare before turning it off and wrapping herself deeper into the bed's sheets.

Wow. She _really_ didn't want to get out of bed.

Tali heard her neighbor, the one right above her, Enyah, step down her small flight of stairs before exchanging some pleasantries with Tali's other neighbor, Olasie.

Tali yawned, massaged her temples, or as much as she could with a helmet on, and sat up at the side of her bed before slipping on her omni-tool and getting a look of the day's schedule.

Best if she get started with the day if the others were.

Amazingly enough, after she'd logged into her profile, she realized the maintenance roster hadn't assigned anything to her for the day.

Odd.

She started skimming through a bulleted list of the Neema's itinerary, hoping to find something to work on.

Nothing available.

Incredible.

That never happened.

She finished browsing through the Neema's catalog and grumbled.

She wasn't just going to sit by and surf the extranet all _day_.

Ordinarily, Tali would have taken the lull in maintenance as an excuse to head to her lab and mingle with her projects. But she didn't have anything to do in her lab anymore. Any project she'd been working on had been quickly transferred to Daro'Xen and her father for immediate oversee.

Tali assumed it was for the best. The less ships with geth parts, the better.

She huffed to herself and finally got up before opening her drawer and putting on her _Realk_ and clip on pockets.

She might as well wander around at least.

If she was lucky, she'd find something to do.

And if worse came to it, she could always look around the trading decks for stuff.

She always liked doing that.

Flattening out the wrinkles in her _Realk_, she cracked her back and yanked the curtains aside before walking out.

**|0800 local standard time.|**

"Tali!"

Tali's narrowed glare, hidden under the visor's ever subtle visage, turned to watch a young pair of girl's approaching her flank in the mess.

Great.

Her teeth gnash a mutter of slurring words to stem the lack of tolerance she had for these two.

How they managed to find her as often as they did was remarkably abnormal. _Especially_ in the Neema's beset hallway of busy flurrying people.

At first she'd considered her veil's brilliant violet and pale white swirls to be an easy symptom of detection. Not to mention the unique medallion centered right above her breasts.

But Tali was starting to feel a little suspicious that Juel was probably the one telling them where she was whenever they'd ask him.

Then again… she did run by a fairly linear schedule… so…

"Hi, TalTals!" Chilo's congested voice rang through the commonplace.

A nickname, one that she wasn't particularly fond of, was spoken loudly to gather the attention Tali didn't want from anyone passing by.

"What's up?" Siv asked as she picked at the frayed piece of cloth at her thigh.

"Hi, Chilo. Hi Siv." Tali omitted the common honeyed tone she typically carried in her voice.

If the two small girls had noticed the elder quarian's lack of airy disposition, they paid it no mind.

"Whatcha doin' today?"

"Working. You two should be in school."

"Can't." They both exclaim merrily.

"Our Yulah is _very_ busy. We got off early today!" Chilo fist pumped the air.

Keelah. These girls were immature.

Siv was quick to add more. "We're going to spend our time at the trading decks to—"

Chilo gutted Siv to shut her up and stop her from saying anymore.

"_SHH_!" Chilo hissed angrily while staring down at Siv'Miah. Siv reeled at her slip up and gave half-made apologies to her friend, "You can't say anything, Siv!"

"What are you doing at the trading decks." Tali asked with a glare.

Tali's rebuke forced their mouths shut.

"Girls? I'm waiting for an answer."

"_NOTHING_!" They both run off in a fit of moronic giggles before disappearing behind a corridor.

Dealing with them almost made her sympathize for her father, to a degree. If she'd acted like that all the time, she wouldn't have wanted to spend much time with herself either.

But she didn't act like that… so the point was moot.

Tali considered chasing after the two children for a proper disciplinary action, but she'd be lying if she hadn't felt a twinge of apathy and more importantly, laziness, over the issue.

Her head fell back slowly as she let the umpteenth sigh pass her lips.

Fortunately enough, a shipment of Edict-40 pipelines arrived at her workstation. At least she could steal herself in the satisfying company of basic assembly.

Maybe listen to some music too.

**|0930 local standard time.|**

This is exactly why she didn't want to keep up with the time.

Minutes ago, when she was focused on installing a small pipeline for ERCXeSS Coolant (Which always seemed to be in short supply on the Migrant Fleet's reserves), her omni-tool chimed.

It was the anniversary day of Illos.

The anniversary of the Citadel's Attack and in equal measure, its liberation.

The anniversary of the Council's spared lives.

The anniversary of the countless souls that had given their lives away in the face of ignorance—an ignorance of a looming gallow that many paid _dearly_ for.

The day that had determined the fate of the Milky Way and the inhabitants within it.

Tali considered giving Garrus a call.

Maybe even Wrex or Ash.

...But why though?

The others were, undoubtedly, reflecting in the same way she was.

Well.

_Mostly_, anyways.

She dropped her wrench right back into her tool-box, sat down on a crate, and felt a small smile creep at the corners of her lips.

Past the pain of Illos, Tali recalled the days just before the culmination of Saren's doom and the Reapers' delay.

The memory was mundane and plain, Tali would admit. There wasn't anything particularly special about it.

But, in a way, it was.

She leaned back and sighed.

It was incredible, really.

The amount of time that'd passed since then—was _too_ long.

And short.

Her smile waned slightly as she thought about how bitter her life had become since John's death.

It was a miracle how she'd managed to make it this far on just her legs alone.

"Illos." She muttered quietly, gracing the rusty walls across from her with a distant stare.

Her smiled turned somber.

"Hey John." She rasped with a low whisper, "I feel… so… _stewpid_ for doing this…"

She swayed her feet and ogled them for a while. "...Guess I just wanted to say hi. And that I love you."

Dry and repetitious vibrations from the Neema's engine from somewhere far off answered her muted voice.

"I wish I could see you again, John…" She said, her smile fading ever so slightly before scoffing, "I'd screw a _vorcha_ if I had to…"

She stared into her hands for another moment and shook her head, "eh… maybe not… But, you know what I mean."

She listened desperately for a reply she knew wouldn't come.

"Look at me… you're not even here and I still feel like babbling."

Her stare turns docile and glossy.

"You know… it's impossible for quarians to ever truly move on from their bonding mate." Tali said before crossing her legs and looking up to the ceiling thoughtfully,"To think it was going to be a human... a Spectre in the Alliance, no less."

Her lip trembled.

"I want you here, John." She murmured, tears welling in her eyes, "Because deep down… I'm hoping you'll still come back to me…"

_Please John._

_Come back to me. _

* * *

><p><strong>Date: 1102/2184**

**Location:** **Omega Nebula/Sahrabarik System/Omega Space Station**

* * *

><p>Garrus' talon hovered hesitantly over the send button.<p>

He stared at his omni-tool worriedly and finally shook his head and deleted the email.

Sending a message to Tali wasn't going to do her any good.

This somber anniversary was time to remember and to reflect on history made galactic.

Earlier this morning, Garrus actually sat down and watched the vids while he ate breakfast.

He flipped through some of the channels before finally coming across a news anchor mentioning the Citadel and the geth attack exactly one year ago.

He watched the rest until his meal was cold and finally shook his head.

The details the anchor provided were shotty at best.

But at least they got the gist of it.

It was obvious to anyone that Commander Shepard hadn't acted alone in stopping Saren's "coup" attempt.

It took the team of one turian, one quarian, one krogan, two humans, a council-spectre (Also a human) and a detachment of Alliance marines to stop Saren and his geth.

If one believed in miracles, surely they would have pointed out this one.

Garrus would be quick to agree with them.

It really _was_ a miracle straight from the spirits that they'd survived _that_ many firefights, traps, and explosions.

The best one had to be that IED Saren had the pleasure of surprising them with on Illos.

Or how their M35 LAVs were, quite literally, hyper-spaced _into_ the presidium's lakes…

Sixteen _more_ firefights on their way up to the council chambers…

The team's exhaustion was so beset on their psyche; the crew had nearly overdosed on stimulant packages to keep their peek endurance for the remainder of the mission.

Garrus even remembered both John and Tali sipping on energy drinks every time they'd take a break from shooting at the pro-reaper asshole.

Not that he was blaming them. He'd scarfed down multiple biscuits on the elevator ride up to the council chambers.

Though, it was a shame he had to trash the food when Wrex had decided to barrel through the lift's pressurized glass so they could make the rest of their way there by foot.

As a matter of fact, Garrus was pretty sure he still had a recording of that shitty day.

"Replay log seventeen: recording two, VI." Garrus said silently.

—{Yes, Archangel. _Replaying.}_

**…**

"—h shit. Saren cut off the elevator controls..." a marine from behind Garrus said.

Though it was a little hard to hear the soldier since Garrus was chewing loudly on his food.

"Any ideas? We sit here any longer and the Geth are going to laze us." A marine spoke up from somewhere outside of the camera's field of view.

Another scrounging bite gorged the camera's speaker when Garrus fumbled with the wrapper.

"I've got one." Wrex said as he pushed his way up to the elevator's glass, "Everyone's helmets secure for Vacuum exposure?" The giant dinosaur grinned madly at John and Tali.

"What's your plan, Wrex?" Another marine asked as he took a position beside the Krogan.

"We're going out _there_." Wrex said punctually by loading a concussive round into his gun.

"_Waitwaitwait_." Garrus took another mighty morsel of cracker into his mouth before tossing the rest on the ground, "Littering on the presidium is illegal in at least thirty six ordinances and regulations on the Citadel." Garrus specified sarcastically before smirking.

Just to be ironic, he stepped on the biscuit and felt it crumble under his boot.

"They'll be pissed when they see that." A marine said.

Anyone who had the energy to chuckle did. The rest just smiled.

"Pretty sure the groundskeeper ain't gonna care."

"How many regulations against breaking vacuum sealed presidium elevators?" Wrex asked as he watched the Turian fasten his helmet while chewing.

"At least two… but since that's pretty much comitting suicide… You'd be filing for your own verdict. In the case you do survive? ...two months of back bone community service and a quarterly of doubled income tax. Maybe even a year or two in prison. No parole."

"Harsh." Shepard replied with a tight smile.

"It is what it is." The turian shrugged.

"And the guns we'll be taking inside the chambers?" Tali's queried before looking at her shotgun.

"Four hundred thirty one regulations that specify or in some way prohibit the handling or discharge of firearms in or near the presidium commons or chamber. Twelve kilometer diameter minimum. But they do have a conceal carry permit program for those who apply. Turn down rate is exponentially high, as expected."

"You'd think _one_ law would be enough." Liara mentioned tersely. Before the Turian could offer a curt reply, the Krogan released a salvo of fire into the lift's glass composite.

Just as the turian had suspected, the glass shattered and threw forth thousands of shards out upon the vacuum of space.

A marine with a broken arm, with the name of Jason Holley, stepped forward and leaned out to get a better view of the long spire.

He took a deep and pained breath before speaking. "Quite a ways…"

"Twelve hundred twenty two meters to be exact." Pete Stacker mumbled from somewhere behind.

"Holley. You've been relieved of command." Shepard spoke aloud for everyone to hear across the COM (considering there wasn't an atmosphere anymore), "Chief Williams will be your new Actual, Bravo Team." Everyone in the elevator clambered out of the claustrophobic space before leveling out across the miscellaneous placing of cover.

"Copy, Commander. What should I do instead?"

"You'll be covering our rear. Copy?"

"Copy, Sir."

* * *

><p>"<em>End Recording, VI."<em>

—_{Yes, Archangel. Categorizing.}_

Garrus, standing inside a broken and destroyed lounge, sighed before ejecting a thermal magazine from his rifle.

The past days had been absolutely numbing, but he and his team had accomplished more than their usual fare of missions.

"Not like you to take a break in the middle of a heist, Archangel." Lantar Sidonis had motioned from behind his turian cohort as he ruffled through a crate that had survived the deafening blast.

"I wouldn't call it a heist… just… a rightful reallocation of goods to those in desperate need."

"You're playing Robin Hood, Angel." Gregg Folly joined Sidonis in the casual rummaging of supplies.

"You're right. I am playing Robin Hood."

"I'm surprised a turian would know what that is." Folly shrugged as he tossed a dozen or so parcels of food into a container behind him.

The turian's voice glowered. "When you've live on an Alliance sessel for a year with a full human crew, you learn a lot."

"That you do."

A batarian, with the name of Jugath Ishvak, reared the corner and grumbled. "Enough talking, Folly, let's just get the supplies and leave."

"What's wrong, quad-eye? Afraid our bomb attracted too much attention?" Folly snickered as he continued his aimless scavenging. When the human finally pulled out something that looked even remotely useful, the Batarian explosive expert snatched it out of his hands.

"_My_ bomb. And yes, I am. I nearly leveled the whole goddamn building." Jugath glanced at the thing he took from Folly before giving it back to the human.

"He's right." Garrus said, "Maws tight and lips sealed. Got it?"

"Okay. Fair enough." Folly said with a show of hands. "Back to it."

"Good… because it looks like the Sun just found out what's up." Garrus punctuated his words with the flicking safety of his weapon. He continued to watch, through his vantage point, at the fair sized number of Blue Sun's carefully moving up to their position.

Sidonis looked up from his box. "What? We got contacts?"

Garrus nodded. "Yeah. Just wait and I'll tell you what to do."

Garrus waited for several seconds before giving his batarian explosive expert a stare.

"Jugath. Wait for them to trip the claymores."

Then he pointed to Folly and Sidnos. "You two? Keep the perimeter intact. Link up with the others and keep the evac clear."

"Right."

"Got it."

The two men stand up hurry out of the room.

"Come on, Jugath. With me."

The batarian smiled brutishly before settling down in his own perch to get a clear view of the squad of Suns.

Garrus had to give it to them. The Blue-Suns knew their stuff. They were keeping rank and checking their corners methodically.

But it wouldn't help them.

"Switch to thermal optics." Garrus ordered, "Check your fire until I give the order everyone... And keep your head cool. We have them."

Garrus settled into his stock and got a bead at the two soldiers on point.

"Get ready," Jugath warned, "They're about ready to cross the trip wire."

When the Blue Sun's finally passed the road's small crossing, a shaped EMP charge had, quite literally, fried the Blue Sun's onboard computers suites.

And more importantly, their kinetic barriers.

Following that, two claymore charges had enveloped the mercenaries into a 50 meter box of improvised perverted steel.

The damage was, as Garrus had expected, minimal.

But the men and women who'd foolishly decided _not_ to wear full-bearing ballistic helmets were, as an ill-fated effect, crippled from gouged eyes and ripped cheeks. Those closest to the blast fell from the explosive trauma and inadvertently shielded their fellow soldiers from the shrapnel.

But the trip wasn't finished.

Two smoke grenades broke out and engulfed whoever was left.

"Exercise discretion." Garrus murmured through the radio, "Kill shots only."

Cautious and calculated semi-automatic fire rang out through Archangel's small and effective firing line.

Sixteen shots rang out.

All of them hit home.

Archangel's opposing force never had the chance to return fire.

"Now _that's_ a record." Garrus said proudly, "Wrap it up here. Get our things and move. Regroup at Thaxton-one."

"Copy. We're withdrawing. Meet you at the safe zone."

Garrus gave himself a grim smile.

He had a great team.

If they kept this up, Omega would be a goddamned wasteland.

* * *

><p><strong>|Date: 1102/2184|**

**|Location: Aboard the Neema|**

**|0930 local standard time.|**

* * *

><p>"Tali? Juel called out as he walked down the hallway, "You there?"<p>

"Here." Came a small and feeble reply.

Juel rounded the corner and saw Tali sitting on top of the only crate in the engine room.

"Hey." He greeted quietly before grabbing a stool and dragging it over to sit next to her, "...you know you're not supposed to be alone here."

"I know." Tali said with a hushed sigh before finally looking to him, "...Am I like this all the time?"

He shook his head and played with some of the fraying fabric on a piece of his suit. "Nah." He forced himself to say, "Not usually."

Tali didn't have to push the issue any farther. She knew he was lying.

"I've noticed you haven't been eating at the mess lately either."

He pointed to to the food bladder in her hands and glanced at the wastebasket full of the things. "You've been eating here instead, I've noticed."

She squeezed the pasty concoction and gave it a distant look. "Yeah..."

Juel crossed his arms and tried to smile. "Want company?"

She gave the wall next to her a long sideways glance. "Illos." Tali said quietly.

"Illos?"

"Today's the anniversary." She whispered.

Juel's bit his lip and nodded.

Over the year, Juel had learned bits and pieces of Tali's adventure with John... and whatever she would leave out, either purposefully or not, he would research on the extranet.

Other than the raid on Eden Prime, John being appointed Spectre, and the attack upon the Citadel, the details were vague.

"You know you never did finish that story for me." Juel said.

"Oh yeah. That's right." She said with a tired smile, "Want to hear it again?"

"Of course."

"Well…" She began, "It all started when the Normandy got impounded by Udina. He's an asshole."

"The guy's name alone sounds bad. Why'd the ship get grounded again?"

Tali snorted.

"For several reasons, the council would say. But they were tired of John's warning of the reapers..." Tali said as her eyes lulled out of focus, "...We just couldn't convince them they existed."

"But you obviously escaped the impounding. How'd you do it?"

"David Anderson."

"You mean the councilor we saw on the Citadel. The dark looking human?"

"Yes. Him. He was the Normandy's Captain. Previous to John. He came up with a plan to get the Normandy out to stop Sovereign." Tali explained, "So, John and I met up at a club with him and said he'd go into Udina's office and lift the impounding order."

"Was Udina in there at the time?"

She laughed hoarsely. "Mhmm. I saw the footage too after. The bastard got a winged punch right in the jaw. Knocked him right out. What a pussy."

"Pussy?"

"Human talk."

"Right."

"And we were off to save the galaxy." She looked up at the ceiling.

"With John Shepard at your side." Juel said.

"Yes. With John at my side." She repeated, "Well. More like, me at _his_ side."

"You gonna tell me the rest?"

"I suppose." She shrugged, "I guess I'll start right after we left the Citadel."

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 15<strong>

**A long while ago…**

**|DATE: 11-1-2183|**

**|Location: Serpent Nebula/Aboard SSV Normandy|**

**|En-route to: Pangaea Expanse /Refuge System/Illos|**

* * *

><p>John laughed at her poor joke and downed whatever was left of his drink in a hasty gulp. "Christ Tali. That joke was so stupidly not funny it made me laugh."<p>

Tali shrugged and giggled a little. "I was never good at telling jokes anyways." Tali relented after sipping a little more of her soda.

"Nah, you're just fine. The punch line saved it." John assured her.

He set down his glass and pointed to the other side of his room.

"Look there." He said, pointing to a briefcase resting comfortably in his lounge chair, "There's something there I want to show you. Got it yesterday. "

She turned around to get a look at it.

"What is it?" She asked before standing up to fetch the briefcase.

"Got the stuff right before out impounding." John explained as she set it down on the table next to him, "Thought we could use them against Saren when the time comes."

She unclasped the buckles that lined its seal and opened it up.

"Wow…" She slurred.

She picked up a pouch of incendiary rounds and played with the weight before smiling.

And it wasn't just incendiary ammunition. There were shield capacitors, technical scramblers, lock integrators, Frictionless materials...

_oh..._

And what's this?

Right next to several of John's new ammo blocks was a black brushed aluminum case.

She cocked her head to the side and picked up the box and couldn't help but think how out of place it was next to all this military equipment.

"What's in here?" She asked before trying to pry open the box.

Shepard, having been engaged with looking over his own handful of stuff, caught up with Tali's unintended meddling and got a heart attack. Right before she could open it, he snatched it frantically from her hands.

"Not yet!" He exclaimed through a flimsy sounding yelp before opening up his nightstand and shoving the box into it.

Tali's stared at him like he was a freak.

"Not yet? What?"

"Not _yet_." He breathed.

_Smooth_ John.

_Fucking_ smooth.

John felt a lick of sweat dampen his back.

In that little black box, the one Tali had almost _opened_, was a medallion he'd crafted for her.

And it was for **_after_** they'd defeated Saren, stopped Sovereign, and the geth.

"What's in it?"

"_Nothing_."

"Why won't you let me see it?" Tali prodded before letting her stare linger on his nightstand a little longer.

"_Because_. I said so." He said complacently to try and hide the blush that rose on his cheeks.

The idea of giving Tali something that practically amounted to a Pal'tec vis surden was something he was going save for when he would finally get the balls to finally ask her out.

Well.

It was more like skipping the 'going out phase' to 'We're engaged'.

Don't get him wrong, he wouldn't have minded calling Tali his fiancée.

But that would probably scare Tali just enough to have her high tail it out of the Normandy back to the Flotilla.

The details were a little messy, admittedly. He'd work out the kinks of how it would all work later.

But in all seriousness, he couldn't deny it. The woman in front of him made him the most happiest man alive.

He was _madly_ in love.

"Will I ever get to?" She asked quietly before crossing her arms in defeat.

"Maybe. Not sure." He gave what best amounted to a smile before sifting through more of his purchases in an anxious effort to move on with the conversation.

"Fine…" she pouted with a mumble.

She gave his nightstand another disappointed look before reluctantly prying her gaze back to the items that didn't seem to interest her anymore.

"What else did you get?" She placed a finger over a product with a label she didn't bother reading.

"Lots of stuff. Garrus and Wrex are going through what I brought them down in the lower decks..." He mumbled before sitting back down and ruffling his short hair, "I doubt they could go through all their stuff before we get to Illos..."

"What about Liara and Ashley?"

"Not quite sure. Probably with the crew or getting something to eat. Why?"

"Just curious. Didn't see them anywhere." She leaned into the table and squeezed the ends, "Oh. I got something for us too while you were 'meeting' with the Council."

"Really?" A genuine look of surprise came from Shepard's face, "What is it?"

"I thought we could use this to—uh, _relax, _you know? Like you said. And it didn't cost too much, either... just, uh, a _couplehundredcredits_..."

"Oh my god. A couple hundred credits." John said sarcastically, "I can't believe you'd do something like that."

Tali rolled her eyes.

"Tali... your pay is _good_." John added, "You probably got like, eighty grand sitting in the bank."

"Well… not exactly." Tali corrected.

"Oh… What _have_ you been using your money for?"

"Oh... you know..." She waved him off, "Basic field maintenance kits, food, sterilizers—things like that." Her arm absentmindedly makes its way to squeeze the other in embarrassment.

"Tali." He shook his head before pinching the bridge of his nose, "That's what our LOGPACs are for…"

He couldn't count the number of times he had told Tali this.

It was cute, in its own right, but seriously? He snorted sarcastically and put a smile on his face.

Quarians.

What could you do.

"What...? What are you laughing for?" She puffed eccentrically before pointing accusingly at him, "Do you want to see what I got or not?"

"Yes! Okay. Come on. Show me." He sat back down and pushed the items to the side for more room.

"Good. I'm not sure if you'll like it… I do still have the receipt just in case." She said before her expression went blank, "Well—not that it'd _matter._" She kept rambling and fetched for the toolbox she'd placed near the foot of his bed. "It's something we can shar—"

As Tali talked, John turned around just in time to see her bend over. He couldn't help himself but look at her beautifully round—

"John?"

He lulled back into focus. "Huh?"

She turned back around to face him. "...So?"

"Say what…? Say that again?"

She gave him an odd look. "What we're you staring at?"

"Just my _lovely_ quarian." He gave her a lopsided grin.

She shook her head and he knew he'd struck home.

"Well, I asked you if you wanted to try this with me." She finally knelt down to retrieve her expensive purchase.

Another beautiful view of her perfectly round ass.

He felt like a god-be-damned highschooler again.

He almost forgot to answer her question again. "Of course… but I still don't know what it is yet."

"It looked so awesome, John… I just _couldn't_ pass it up. Especially when I found out it was _multiplayer_!"

"…what?"

She pulled out of her bag two virtual headsets and set them on the table.

"It's even compatible with Sense Stimulations!"

He furrowed his brow and grabbed for one of the headsets. "You know, I've always wondered what these could do."

"Did I mention _multiplayer_ John?"

"I remember you mentioning sensory, uh… _stimulation_…"

_That_ certainly didn't come out right.

If she caught the unintentional innuendo, she paid it no mind.

"Yeah!" She shook his shoulder briskly to further grab his attention, "I saw the demo and _everything_. Already installed the SenseStims to my suit."

She could hardly contain her giddy excitement.

"How do I get that?"

"What?" She whirled around with her own simulator in hand.

"The… you _know_… _nervous_ stimulators." The graceless way he cleared his throat did well to compliment the bad combination of words he murmured into a sentence.

"That's what these stickers are for. Follow the instructions. You put them on your skin."

Her visor disappeared under the clunky headpiece.

His quirked a brow when Tali started giving out ooo's and aah's to the miniature hologram projected in front of her.

"Oh my gosh, John… this is _amazing_." She squealed elatedly while pressing a hand against herself, "There's a whole menu of places to go to and things to feel... the list doesn't end!"

He gave her a hidden grin before finally strapping on the awkward headset and sticker-leads.

"Well then, it looks like you and I have a bit of exploring to do, huh?"

"Keelah John, absolutely! Let's see how well they remade the Normandy, yeah?" She approached from behind John sitting in his char before placing both hands on his shoulders.

He gave the woman a delightful sigh before replying nonchalantly. "I have a feeling you're going to give me the grand tour of the service ducts...along with her static attenuators, ME-50 Rheostats, and… EX-TAT Propulsion preservation stabilizers."

Tali gave John an all knowing laugh; a laugh John had come to fall absolutely in love with.

Looming death or not, John felt happy.

And what better way to spend it with his quirky quarian?

He settled in and readied himself for the coming storm.

There was no way the Virtual Normandy on here would even compare to the real one.

* * *

><p><strong>|PRESENT TIME: Date: 1102/2184|**

**|Location: Aboard the Neema|**

**|0930 local standard time.|**

* * *

><p>"So that's what you did before a suicide mission." Juel said with a sad smile, "No anxiety... no stress... no sense of impending doom?"<p>

"Yeah." She nodded sadly, "Oddly enough. Just John and I and that silly little game."

And that's when Tali realized the box John had hidden away from her all that time ago before Ilos was the pendant she was wearing now.

She cradled the little piece and gave it a sad and loving smile before rubbing a thumb over its engraving.

She couldn't believe it hadn't occurred to her earlier.

"I wish he didn't die, Tali." Juel whispered, "Ancestors _know_ you don't deserve this."

In spite of the Neema's loud working engine, the silence between them was suffocating.

She nodded absently before finally removing herself from her perch.

"I tell myself that _every-day_, Juel. Every_._ D_ay_."

"I... I miss _him_, Juel." Her voice broke for the second time that day.

She fell into Juel's arms and wept into his shoulder.

Hot streaks of tears well in his own eyes. "_Tali_…"

His voice died and his trembling lip turned to sobs.


	33. Treadmill Sweat

**|PRESENT TIME: Date: 11/02/2184|**

**|Location: Undisclosed|**

**|1100 Local Standard Time.|**

* * *

><p>He was walking, at least.<p>

Well, in some sense he was.

His breath was hoarse as he shuffled his feet along the slow paced treadmill.

"How…how much longer of this?"

"A little longer, Shepard. We're trying to get some good preliminary data to our boss. Please concentrate. It'll be done soon." Wilson gave the exhausted man an edged look before returning his attention to the console in front of him.

The random number of leads that adhered to his chest seemed to drip of sweat as he continued his 'leisure' stroll.

Topping the exhaustingly painful walk, he knew Wilson wasn't the only other person in the room.

He hated when she didn't openly invite herself into a room.

He could feel the damned devil staring at him from behind as he continued his determined and painful pace.

"You mind? I'm trying to work here." He murmured in-between his gasps of breath. Her heels clicked softly against the metal tiling before giving off her usual cold stare.

"I'm here to help monitor your vitals."

"My doctor is more than capable of watching my…" He took a look at the screen behind Wilson. "…O2 saturation and steadily rising blood pressure." Half the reason his heart beat into tachycardia was because of her presence.

He tried to give Miranda an abrasive glare but couldn't. It didn't do well to be menacing when his sweat damped his pits and face from muscle weakness. "If you want…to be useful, get me some water."

He held his stare forward and ignored the frown she gave him.

"Wilson..?" She finally managed to say. "Get the Commander some water." The Doctor began to rise from his chair, but was abruptly interrupted mid-rise.

"I asked _you_, Ms. Lawson. Not Wilson."

She ignored the blunt and chastising remark.

"I need to speak with you alone." She insisted quietly as she motioned for Wilson to leave. "You can take a break from your exercises."

"Fine…" He clumsily felt for the handles that neighbored the treadmill before finally getting the courage to jump off. He didn't openly admit it, but it was a serious relief to finally stop moving his legs. He shuffled over to the closest chair before plopping down in a sore heap.

"How have I been doing?" He muttered through gritted teeth as he began massaging his thighs.

"Better. Much, actually." She rummaged through the data outlining his daily routines. "I'd say in another two months, you'll be reaching your peak."

He took a deep breath before closing his eyes to the cool air that began venting through the room's ducts. "Is that your personal projection?"

"Yes. And I'm _rarely_ wrong."

This time he did give her the glare he intended to give the first time.

"Arrogance is a good way to get you killed in our line of work, Ms. Lawson. I suggest you change your haughty attitude for a more pragmatic one for the future."

A prudent nod and small smile spliced her lips. When he saw the face, he could tell she was told this before dozens of times.

"Arrogance is making presumptuous and uninformed assertions. I make neither, John."

"_Shepard_ is fine." He remarked sharply before wiping the sheen of sweat from his brow. "…and treat your subordinates with some level of respect. It really,_ in all honesty_, goes a _long_ way."

"Perhaps." She shrugged before taking a seat across from him to get a look at the list of charts that lined the monitors.

"You're looked upon like the ice-queen here." His raw throat swallowed and he let his eyes squeeze shut from the pain.

"I'm aware."

"Maybe you should rectify that."

"My way of doing things carries results."

"But it doesn't breed loyalty, Lawson."

"I don't need their loyalty. I need their skills. Nothing more, nothing less." She was quiet for a moment before adding. "There's a bigger picture here, _John_. Bigger than all of us. That's what matters." She emphasized his first name; a rather immature challenge, John might add, to objectify his demands to be called by his last name.

The man before her couldn't help but shake his head at the deadpanned concept.

"You'll see where that takes you in the future, Lawson. I learned the hard way. Many times. And if your way only gets you results? Then I'll walk out alive in the end and with more."

Seemingly satisfied, he closed his eyes and let the cool air lick his hot sweat.

After an agonizing sum of seconds, the woman finally let loose a small sigh.

"Shepard…we need you at your peak. And I will do everything in my power to make it so. And if it'll smooth things along, then I'll take heed to some of your advice. You are the Galaxy's hero." A feeble, but telling smile, however small, did break through the woman's cold façade.

A smile crept along John's lips. "Good, that's what I like to hear, Miranda. And you _can_ call me John, if you want. I just want my stay here to be a pleasant one. If you and I are going to be stuck together, it might as well be on good terms. Sound's good?"

"I can certainly do that for you." When she finished, Wilson had entered the room with a cup and pitcher.

He continued his purposeful stride to Shepard without ever sparing the chance to stare at Miranda. "Hey. How's he doing?"

"Good. John here said is going to prove me wrong on his physical therapy, yes?" She accentuated her Aussie accent as best she could before giving a perked smile.

The small smile on Shepard's face grew.

"I'd be more than happy to take you on that offer, Ms. Lawson." He took the cup from Wilson's hand eagerly before downing the iced liquid.

"Good. Because you'll finally be getting a debriefing tomorrow at 1200 hundred hours." Her gaze wandered down to regard the tile floors that took her sudden interest. "Please prepare yourself."

"You told me I was in a coma for two years without anyone knowing. I think I'm prepared to handle a debriefing and get a hold of Anderson and my old team…" John's sudden frown intensified when he thought of Tali again. A million worries rose back to the surface and fought the sudden urge to kick the table across the room.

How he _missed_ her.

And Garrus.

Wrex too.

Kaiden.

Ash.

Chakwas…Joker, Pressly, and the dozen other names he didn't want to think of at the moment.

"Just rest for a few more moments, John. You'll be up and about in no time."

"Yeah…get me back on that treadmill. Let's hurry this up. I'm ready to get better." He urged for Wilson's hand before turning to Miranda. "Soon enough, I'll be running faster than you."

"My two mile time is thirteen minutes seventeen seconds, John."

He chuckled a bit before grasping the bars that flanked the exercise machine. "That's pretty good. Mine's twelve minutes flat."

She frowned.


	34. Departure & Fate

**A/N: So...We're finally gearing up friends for MET:SA. I can't WAIT to finally let this story take off. ;) **

Also, Go ahead and get onto my Soundcloud and listen to my latest song: Pensive. Type in my name: Nicholas Powell 1 in the search bar on the website and you'll find me at the very top. I'm an asian guy! (You seriously can't miss me.)

I'm also in San Diego at the moment, visiting for vacation. The view is absolutely amazing here and the City life is interesting to watch and be a part of for a while!

Enjoy your upcoming 4th of July guys. And your vacations if anyone is on them at the moment!

* * *

><p><strong>|Date: 1123/2184|**

**|Location: Omega Nebula/Sahrabarik System/Omega Space Station|**

…

…

…

"Hello…?" A slow and sleepy whisper answered the call.

"Garrus." The caller replied. "He's alive."

When the Turian's brow plates rose, the caller hung up.

He held the phone's receiver for a moment longer before placing it back into the dock.

The deadly look that emanated from Garrus' face intensified.

It didn't do well to know that the caller was also _Liara_.

That meant John was alive again.

And under Cerberus colors.

"Spirits." He hissed before bringing both his Talons to his eyes and forehead.

Another sleepless night would indeed find him on a day where he would need it most.

_Damnit_.

His thoughts immediately went to Tali.

How would she handle this kind of news?

His moral compass spun on its axis as he tried to bring his burning anger under control.

Liara's way of handling this was, for all intents and purposes, _pathetic_.

Why couldn't she just _fucking_ tell the damned poor girl?

A throaty groan from Garrus signaled his frustration.

Another yawn, interposed between his racing thoughts, beckoned for another round.

Eventually, after popping several of his vertebrae, shook the last remnants of grogginess from his mandibles.

The other day he messaged Liara to get caught up in his growing absence of communication. He brought up Tali and asked how their visit together went on the Citadel. The most he got was news of a small dispute between the two women during their stay. But the details weren't forthcoming (as with almost anything at this point).

When the awkward and meaningless chat came to an end, Liara made the Turian promise not to tell Tali _anything_ regarding John.

He hated himself for it. And, frankly? He was starting to hate Liara for it too.

Whatever he saw on his nightstand was knocked over in anger.

It was, _literally_, _killing_ him inside. Knowing that he was keeping something from someone he considered family?

Damn near unforgivable at this point.

But there must've been a reason for Liara's secrecy.

_Likely_ because it involved Cerberus. And if that was the case, The Turian's maw would stay shut for as long as necessary.

But that didn't mean he liked it.

His fist slammed against the nightstand to stall his overbearing thoughts for another second.

No.

_Not one bit._

* * *

><p><strong>|Two months later...|<strong>

**|Date: 01/22/2185|**

**|Location: Unknown|**

* * *

><p><strong>"<strong>Miranda." A soothing swig from his brandy forestalled the woman's response as he patiently continued to drink. "How is he?"

"His psyche is improving. Finds some release with physical activity. Opens up more to Jacob. He's coping with what's been brought to him. But remains utterly silent on the matters of his well-being. _Nothing_ we haven't anticipated." She spoke quietly with a perked smile while her hands placed squarely behind her back locked into a vice. She looked on and placed her gaze along the man's hard set jaw that usually came with his brilliant mind.

This conversation was about Freedom's Progress. She could tell, through his featureless expression, that he was quickly skimming his correspondence regarding the colony's vital economic assets, along with a series of stock exchanges, and per capita geographies that would affect the surrounding settlements in lieu of its mysterious disappearance.

"Another colony has gone dark. How much more time do you need?" He spoke, but remained transfixed with the text before him.

She was hoping he wouldn't ask. She was proud of her immense project…but certainly hated when timelines were set as a priority rather than the core subject. "I wanted more time to get him to come to terms with his new life."

"How much _time_, Miranda." He asked again between a small drag. His other free hand danced along the several holographic terminals in front of him. He clearly wasn't interested in the menial details of Shepard's profile.

"He's ready. But I'm not sure how willing he will be to helping our cause."

"He knows we're Cerberus." His question was more out of statement than of question. He broke his stare and leveled it at Miranda for a moment. "I will debrief him tomorrow, personally, at 1100 hours. Our purpose was to bring him back. If he doesn't want to stay with us, then we will part ways. But he must be informed of what we are willing to undertake if he chooses to accept us as a benefactor." The grin he gave Miranda was all she needed to know. The Illusive man wasn't giving Shepard a choice. He was giving him an ultimatum.

"I'll begin the preparations."

* * *

><p><em><strong>The next day…<strong>_

A nice set of fatigues adorned Shepard's chiseled body. The physical therapy did wonders for him. As promised, he beat Miranda's two mile score.

It was surprising, really. He had never seen a woman who could be on par with most of the guys in ICT at Rio de Janeiro.

But it was trivial. He was more worried about what these people stood for. His gaze faltered to stare at his chest emblazed with a Cerberus logo.

**_A Cerberus_**. **_Logo_**.

The burning sensation he got from his chest (purely all in his head, he noted), was a reminder that a lot _really_ has changed.

He was no longer a Lieutenant Commander anymore in the Alliance Navy. (No matter how much he wished to be.)

He wasn't an authorized Citadel SPECTRE either.

As far as the Galaxy was concerned, Shepard was a hero turned legend.

Hopefully it was something he could rectify. But with everything gone…he shook his head slowly while doing little to hide the angry grimace that painted his appearance. After minutes of silently sulking at how bad his luck had been, he turned to face the viewport placed squarely at his left.

He ignored the three individuals sitting across from him. His attention remained fixed on the Kodiak's window. To the others, it looked as if he was watching the passing stars and slowly shrinking Lazarus space station to his 'new' posting.

But in reality, his eyes wandered along the dark recessed contours of his face; continually studying the grotesque lining of warm colored separations beneath his skin.

The faint and warm glow of his scars bit at his sanity like a rabid dog. He forced himself to look away and glared at the three before him.

"So…the 'Illusive Man' wants to debrief me?"

"Yes." Wilson motioned with an idle gesture while silently slipping the data pad he held into Miranda's relaxed grip. "We'll be docking in a minute with a Frigate to take us to the next QEC.

"What happened to the one on Lazarus?"

Jacob gave an easy scoff before shaking his head. "Techs at Lazarus said it's down for repair and couldn't fix it in time for your debrief. We decided to take you the next closest one."

Shepard had to stop himself for asking why they didn't use a regular comm-buoy.

He had forgotten the fact that these were damned terrorists and needed to avoid regular means of communication.

"Fine. I'll see what your boss has to say."

They all nodded in unison before leveling their attention elsewhere.

His gaze returned to the glossy glass next to him.

Soonest chance he got, He would find Tali and Garrus.

And get out of this shit mess.

* * *

><p>"Ugh…I…damn." He threw the cards down in huffed sigh before taking another sip of his Turian wine.<p>

Good stuff, he would add if it weren't for the idea of being totally owned by his best friend.

"Come on, Juel. Another game?" Tali said softly with a perky smile. Her fingers deftly slide across the laminated deck of cards as she collected them for another round.

"What? So you can steal the remains of whatever I have left stored in my room? You took the last of my Turian chocolate…"

"Yup…delicious." To punctuate her words, she put a chocolaty morsel into her mouth before chewing slowly on the delicacy. "After all that time of scrounging for delicious foods for us, you never shared these with me? How _dare_ you. Serves you right, losing them all like this." Another delicious chunk of chocolate fell into her mouth.

"Ie meanth, houw cud ue?" The mouthful made Tali speak like a child with a terrible speech impediment. "Geeze Juel! Selfuss basturd."

His only reply was a mock laugh before leaning to get his new set of cards.

"You ate the damned chocolate before I could win it back, Tali. That _isn't_ kosher." The serious tone he kept finally dropped when she coughed hoarsely.

"Choking there, Tali?" She could see the set of trolling eyes behind his mask.

"Can it, you dirty headed filter." She shook her head to clear the remnants of ill swallowed sweets.

Juel rubbed his helmet in indifference before looking to his cards. "Eh…"

"Another bad hand?" Tali asked quietly.

"No." He called off as he added a rusty bolt in tribute to an ante. "I'm just misleading you."

"You mean '_trying'_ to." She tossed her own set of small washers. "You're losing."

His hand patted the smaller pile of chips gratuitously. "Size doesn't mean anything."

"Wow. Juel. Really?" Placed a forefinger and thumb against her visor before flicking the glossy glass.

He shrugged before speaking. "Maybe _you_ should clean your dirty headed filter, hmm?" He rose the pile by placing a piece of fabric he took from the trading deck earlier this morning when they were on the Neema. What did it matter? He knew their poker equivalent of chips would make it back into the daily circulation trade.

"Shut-Up."

"Yes, Ma'am." He muttered.

"So…" Her demeanor took on a more serious tone. "You ready for this?"

He studied his cards in quiet silence before finally speaking. "You remember that article I showed you all that time ago? About all those humans disappearing on those colonies?" He looked around for the others that scattered about the hanger.

She nodded slowly, their card game forgotten. "Yeah…I do…you think…? …You think it could be related? On Freedom's Progress, I mean? and Ullipses?" Her words spoke madly as she tried to connect the possibilities.

"I don't know…You should know more than me, Tali. I just hope that poor bastard we're getting is okay."

Her teeth bear into a slight scowl. "Yeah…me too." She nodded while adding some more chips to the pile. "Be ready for anything, Juel. We'll see what happens."

"We'll be finding out soon enough." The cards he held went limp as he pondered over the seriousness that could arise from this simple 'mission'. The only reason they ended up joining was because of Gerrel's positive exhortation and Tali's snooping suspicion of the Collector's possible involvement in taking an interest in humans the way they had all that time ago on Ullipses.

Juel could only muster another hoarse sigh when he finally showed his cards.

"Three of a kind. Pay up. Heat sinks, and that last piece of chocolate you tried to hide, you rusty deck of a du'pah."

She stared sheepishly at her empty hand before showing off the useless numbers. Shepard's old deck of cards slid from her fingers onto the table.

She muttered callously as she handed over her last piece of hidden candy. "Fine. You Hoarding Tet'shuct. Have it."


	35. Freedom's Progress Part I

A/N: Two words, my friends: FREEDOM'S PROGRESS.

It's here. It's long. and Hopefully, with your guys' response, good.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 16<strong>

**Present time.**

**|DATE: 1-24-2185|**

**|Location: Unknown|**

* * *

><p>"Commander Shepard."<p>

"Illusive man… I thought we'd be meeting face to face." John's first instinct was to cross his arms across his broad chest to give off the impression of apathy.

"A necessary precaution," The Illusive man intoned between a small drag of his cigarette, "…Not unusual with what you and I know."

Shepard nodded all the same before relaxing slightly.

"Doctor Wilson informed me of how much it cost to bring me back…" John said while lines of worry show on his forehead, "Why'd you do it?"

TIM carefully lay back into his chic chair before taking a conservative sip of his brandy. "For the defense and preservation of Humanity." He answered with a small grin, "I didn't invest two years' time and billions of credits to bring you back to serve as a common soldier. Humanity… The galaxy… is against the greatest threat of our _very_ brief existence."

"The _Reapers_." John said, unimpressed. He didn't need a lecture. He needed some answers to the questions that'd been running through his mind for months.

"Can I ask some questions?"

"I'd be worried if you didn't." He gave a small sway of his hand.

"How'd you find me?" John asked while shrugging, "Last thing I remember was suffocating in space inside a ship."

"Your cohort, Dr. T'Soni, with the help of my staff, helped apprehend your body and any remains within." He explained, "We gave your last message to Ms. Zorah to ensure that she heard your last words."

John felt his breath leave him.

Hearing her name made his stomach twist and turn with anxiety.

No doubt the pro-human leader looked down upon his relationship with the woman.

"...Where is she?"

"After your death, she returned to the Migrant fleet and joined Admiral Gerrel's ship: The Neema."

"How do you know that?"

"Information is my weapon, Commander."

"Right... would you, uh, have any further information regarding her status?"

If it were any more of a joke, John was actually hoping to get the answer along the lines of _'Yup, and she's still single too.'_

…But in what reality would that exist in?

"Unfortunately, no." TIM answered. He took a long drag from his cigarette before crushing its red embers into the chair's built in ash tray, "I don't have any further information regarding Ms. Zorah's current status or whereabouts."

John nodded silently, cuffed his disappointment, and changed the topic.

"What about any of my other team? Garrus?"

"Mr. Vakarian has dropped off the grid for some time. Though his current location is on Omega."

"Wrex?"

"Shortly after your death, Wrex returned to Tuchanka and has been doing an admirable job of uniting Krogan clans on Tuchanka."

"And Ashley?"

"Master Sergeant Williams is now currently stationed on Horizon as a geographical specialist."

"That's her new MOS? I can't imagine she'd be willing to do something like that. I wasn't even aware she had the expertise for that."

"That's her 'Official' MOS. She is currently helping to deploy a defense grid to human colonies in the far reaches of the Traverse."

The confusing look on John's face only grew. "Why is the Alliance involving itself with colonists out in the Traverse? They're outside of Alliance jurisdiction and protection."

The Illusive man gave John a wide smile as he admitted another cigarette into his mouth. "Which brings us to why you're here, Shepard." He stood from his seat and took a long drag, "We're at war. No one wants to admit it, but Humanity is under attack. Entire colonies, _Human_ colonies, are disappearing. We suspect the Reapers or even the Collectors." The Illusive Man blew a puff a smoke out from his nostrils and into John's holographic image.

John grimaced slightly. "The _Collectors_?" The pained features on John's lips crease into a frown, "Only _Human_ colonies? How could you know the Collectors are involved?"

"The Official after action reports of your team, and those who were sent to save you from your isolation on Ullipses. In all reports, your team consistently brought up how the Collector's had apprehended you at the Normandy's crash site." He pointed straight at John, "None of them knew how they managed to capture your entire Alliance crew. The Collectors showed a special interest in Humans, and your incident with them backs that. The lines are there. You just have to know how to find them." Seemingly satisfied with the answer he gave, he sat back down into his chair to take another swig of his brandied rock.

Before John could speak, The Illusive man rose a hand.

"There's more." The Illusive man said while skimming through a report unrelated to their discussion, "I'd also like to mention that we believe whoever is abducting entire colonies may also be working for the Reapers… just how Saren and the Geth aided Sovereign."

John's worry lines on his forehead deepen as he croaked apprehensively. "You think the Collectors could be _working_ for them?"

"It's always a possibility."

"If this involves the Reapers: Then point me in the right direction."

"Ms. Lawson was worried you'd be resistant. She's rarely wrong." He brought up a picture of a colony John wasn't familiar with, "Freedom's Progress is the latest colony to go dark. I have a shuttle ready to take you there."

"I'll find the evidence we need." John murmured.

"Good to hear it. Miranda and Jacob will brief you."

* * *

><p><strong>Two hours later…<strong>

"We've yet to get a reply. Attempts of initiating contact with the colony's air traffic isn't working. I've got to bring her down." The pilot shrugged worriedly while prepping the ship to enter the planet's atmosphere.

"Sounds good, Toreah." Prazza said, "I'll get my marines ready and prepped for departure."

The pilot turned to face Prazza.

"Uh, from what we've got on the map, it looks like we have a landing pad on the town's outskirts… Around… a klick away from the colony's border."

"Do it. We can walk that distance. If we have to, we'll find a vehicle to use for rapid transport if he's unable to walk."

"Right."

Prazza nodded to the pilot, gave one last cursory glance at the viewport, before palming the headrest and heading back into the hold where his platoon sat.

When he passed by his two newest temporary members, Juel and Tali, he nodded to them.

"Listen up! The colony's not responding to our hails. We've designated an LZ one klick away from the colony." Prazza sat down in his own seat and strapped in, "From there we'll walk and find a way in."

The cabin's lights turned stark red to warn everyone of atmosphere entry. Anything not tucked away or strapped in was quickly put away.

"If we come into contact with humans, I want everyone's weapons holstered and on safety. I will _not_ risk a diplomatic incident with the only race in this galaxy that doesn't hate us." The ship started shaking violently,

"Now, let's go over the plan one more time." He turned to his first squad leader, "Erickeh. What do we do if we come under fire from humans?"

"Deployment of less-than-lethal weaponry and hacking strategies to compromise the enemy. When we have created a sufficient enough distraction, we will withdraw back into the ship and leave… With or without our primary objective."

"Correct." Prazza managed to point his finger toward his second squad leader, "What loads will we be using if we are engaged, Olasie?"

"None sir. We will use discretionary tactics by using anti-thermal/IR smoke grenades, and ocular flares if necessary."

"Good." He motioned for his next squad leader to answer his next question, "Who is our ambassador for this mission?"

"Tali'Zorah. She has the most experience in handling human affairs." Naika answered.

"Excellent. If we do this right, we'll get our objective and leave without incident. You are all to exercise _extreme_ caution. You will only fire your weapon if you _absolutely_ have to; o_nly_ if your life is in direct and immediate danger.

The platoon nodded in unison.

"Good. Stead fast marines."

* * *

><p>"Fan out. Secure the LZ. Second squad: I want you to establish a Forward Observer at the colony's high walls." Prazza spoke quietly to the platoon while checking over the remaining pieces of gear he hooked onto his chest rig.<p>

"Copy. Second Squad: Form up. Let's move." The second squad leader, with the name of Olasie'Venn vas Neema, led her squad down the landing ramp to prep for their short journey toward the colony's border.

"Tali'Zorah." Prazza began with another whisper, "I wouldn't ordinarily allow civvies into a squad going head first, but considering you're the only quarian here with the highest Geth and Krogan body count… I'd like for you to be part of first squad. They'll take point and establish a FOB to get a search party going. With any luck, you'll be able to establish a connection with the humans if we find any."

"Sounds good." Tali replied with a smile while slowly retrieving her shotgun and bag, "Come on Juel."

"Right behind you, Tali." He gave Prazza a quick nod, "Thanks, Prazza."

"No problem, Juel." Prazza placed a hand on the man's shoulder and shook it briskly, "Ancestors with us. Hopefully we'll find the poor bastard and get him back home where he belongs."

And with that, Juel and Tali ran down the ramp and caught up with first squad to begin their march toward the colony's high walls that surrounded the town.

It wasn't long before the marines started chatting up aimless conversations to pass the time.

"Ever been in snow, Hishe?" Talukh asked as he watched the slow falling snow.

"Second time. First was on Noveria." Hishe replied, keeping his stare forward.

"Never been there."

"Hope you never have to." Hishe said, "Place is a nightmare."

"Yeah? For pilgrimage, right? What kind of work?"

"Contracting. Binary Helix stuff. Weapons testing. Close to eight years ago. What'd you do for your pilgrimage?"

"Ha." Talukh shook his head, "Dumb shit for a while. Ever been to a Salarian homeworld?"

"I can't imagine." Olasie, their squad leader piped up, "Let me guess, Talukh. They used you as a test subject."

"Why are we even talking about pilgrimages?" Kilsa finally spoke, "Tali's got us all beat."

"True that." Juel replied.

Tali blushed slightly.

They continue for a way in silence.

"No automated farming machines… no people… no cars…" Juel shook his head, "Not even the damned street lights are on out here."

"And look..." Tali motioned to the air traffic tower out in the distance, "That explains why they weren't responding to our requests for landing... Everything over there is off."

Several heads turn to look at the tower's dark silhouette.

"Maybe they turn it off at night." Kielhie suggested.

"Who would do that?" Talukh murmured as he continued to peer into the black silhouette, "That makes no sense, Kielhie."

"They're human… Aliens do weird things." Hishe shrugged.

Eventually, they finally came up the wall and the huge door that would lead them inside.

Walking around it wasn't an option... it spanned the entire circumference of the town.

"Check your corners. I want your safeties off. Visors hot." Olasie ordered.

"But Prazza said—"

"We were expecting contact by now. The parameters have changed, and I will countermand that order as the situation dictates."

A series of clicks from their weapons told the group they were now ready to fire.

"Kilsa, get the door open."

"You got it." The marine approached the panel and pressed a few keys, "Door controls aren't turning on. I'm thinking the whole damn power grid's offline." The man rubbed his helmet in thought before backing off the panel.

"We don't have the right explosives to detonate this door."Olasie said as she thought, "Hishe, I want you to deploy a grapple line to the wall. We're going to have to climb to get on top."

"Roger." The man set off with his battle-buddy and returned shortly after, "Okay. This way."

He led the group from the entrance-way to the wall that flanked the massive door. "Well. Start climbing."

Tali could almost swear Juel groaned a little bit.

They took turns climbing the large wall. When they all reached the top, the spread out across the wall's walkway to get a better look at the colony's interior.

Just as dark as everything.

No lights.

No movement.

Nothing.

"...This isn't right..." Juel said as he zoomed in on some buildings with his visor's binoculars, "something's definitely off."

And at that exact moment, Tali remembered.

She remembered the Normandy.

The Crew.

Ullipses.

The Collectors.

And John.

But this time, John wasn't the foresight of everything else.

It was the Collectors.

The stillness in the air...

The emptiness...

The Collectors were here.

"Juel…" She murmured, "I feel it. The Collectors definitely did this..."

When she said that, it caught him way off guard.

"Do you _absolutely _believe it could be the Collectors, Tali?" Juel said with a frown before facing her, "Were not going on much here other than your '_gut' _and a little news article."

"It has to be..." She muttered lamely, "I can't imagine what else would've happened to these people..."

Juel's frown only deepened.

Tali rubbed her fingers along the length of her visor frustratingly before sighing. "Though… with any luck, the Collectors will have left our pilgrim here like they did with us on Ullipses."

"Okay." Juel said as he got up from his kneel, "I should probably tell Olasie then what's up."

And with that, he got up and made his way to Olasie and her squad to explain what'd probably happened to these people.

Tali didn't like this.

She didn't like it at all.

She'd faced many things in her short and little life.

Terrible, traumatizing things. But she'd done it and came out stronger and better because of it.

But this...

She was scared to death of what way beyond and below these walls.

_Terrified_.

Juel came back and fell back into his small hiding perch next to her before speaking.

"Olasie said she's reporting back to Prazza to advise them of our situation."

"Let's hope Prazza gets third and fourth squad down here soon." Tali said quietly.

"Would agree..." They both look out into the town and Juel sighed, "Veetor could be anywhere out there. And there's no guarantee he's even in the colony..."

Tali swallowed dryly.

"Then we better get started."

Juel nodded and sighed. "Why don't you tap into anything COM related? Maybe you can get a bead on him."

She nodded vigorously. "Right."

"Yell if you see anything." Juel intoned quietly, "Actually, just whisper. I'm going to help the others set up post here."

"Okay." She mumbled before curling up against a box and turning on her omni-tool.

Ten seconds in and she found something.

"Weird…"Her Omni-tool was picking up short burst radio frequency pinging around a single point... And if her memory served correctly, the hopping was working on an encrypted broadband 205A-5 channel; the same channel that LOKI Mechs operated on. It wasn't a particularly great find, but it gave them something to work with.

She got up slowly, and made her way to Olasie.

"Hey, Olasie... I'm getting something on encrypted broadband. Same hopping channels that LOKI Mechs use to communicate with each other. And from what I can tell, we've got security mechs scattered within the city. Nothing big, hopefully. Just basic stuff. Can't tell you what armament though."

"Thanks for the info, Tali. Looks like we'll need to wait for the others so we can clear out the place safely." Olasie unpacked some observation equipment as she talked, "Think you can keep looking for more stuff?"

"Gotcha."

The radio clicked on and Prazza's voice came through. "First squad. Be advised, we're getting a visual on what looks to be a transport shuttle descending from the atmosphere, heading three one two. Do you see it? How copy."

Just as Prazza warned, a Kodiak was descending from the atmosphere at their eleven o clock on the opposite side of the colony.

"Confirming visual," Olasie replied, "What should we do?"

"Continue as instructed. We don't have enough information to act on it right now now. We'll deploy a URD and decide from there. The rest of the second, third, and fourth will be catching up to you."

"Copy. Anything else?"

"Nope. I'll see you shortly. That'll be all. Out."

They all stared as the kodiak's rheostat thrusters kicked in just before disappearing under Freedom's long horizon of buildings.

"Think it's the Alliance?" Juel asked.

Olasie shrugged. "I... couldn't tell from here... Might be a civvie. I didn't see any other markings other than a tail-wing number."

"Damnit." Tali mumbled through a worried glare, "That can't be good news..."

Juel shook his head and sighed.

This place was a giant floating mystery.

And it wasn't exactly smoothing along the moods of anyone at this point.

Add the possibility of combatants, a confirmation of mechs patrolling the city, and Tali's understandable suspicion of the Collectors?

Well...

It wasn't going to be fun.

* * *

><p><strong>10 minutes prior…<strong>

John had kept his arms crossed the entire ride. He didn't want to show it, but he was planning on a way to get out of this terrible mess.

"I'm happy I convinced you to take a regular Kodiak shuttle without the Cerberus markings. It certainly would have done wonders for diplomacy if we had it open for display for everyone to see."

Miranda stared absently at John's passive remark.

Jacob shrugged indifferently when they finally descended into the planet's atmosphere.

"So… where did Wilson go?" John mentioned quietly.

"Back to the Lazarus station. He'll be preparing for your first stage physical and mental examination to certify you're healthy. After that… I can't say. He'll likely be relocated for a new cell project or assigned to us for the rest of your stay."

"What will happen to the Lazarus station?"

"Once we are finalized with the project, it'll be recycled for The Illusive man's next cell group."

"What if we don't find any evidence here?" John asked while shaking his head.

"That isn't an option." Miranda stated flatly. Noticing the silence that ensued after, Jacob spoke.

"Another thing, Commander: You're the ranking officer in this op. Anything you want to go over with us?"

John thought for a moment before leaning in close to get their attention. "First, you're going to remove those Cerberus markings on your uniform. I've got duct tape here."

"I will _not_ put tape on my uniform." Miranda watched Shepard hand the tape to Jacob.

"That isn't a uniform. That's a cat suit. And yes. You will. I will not have people knowing that Cerberus is here. Understood?" Before she could give a reply, he spoke again. "Our first priority is securing survivors. Nothing is better than finding a firsthand account of what happened here."

"Doubtful there'll be anyone left." She said while relenting to strip off a piece to place right above her breast.

"If there are non-humans here… then maybe there will be." John said.

"We're on approach. Stand-by." The pilot called out. They all stood up and prepared their weapons.

"We also need to get you some armor." John added.

"I'm fine." She countered with an angry glare.

Something told John that she got that a lot.

"No. You're not. If you are under my command, you wear armor and something you can run in. Heels don't work here. As _good_ as they look on you, they don't belong in my outfit."

"Understood. Commander."

"Be advised, party. I've got some readings down here… thermal signatures at the far side of the colony outside the border in the farms… looks like someone landed here a little earlier than we did."

"Thanks Wilbert." Jacob answered, "Probably pirates or looters. We'll handle them."

"Roger."

Shepard peered through the port display and saw the close approaching congregation of buildings.

Of all the things that could be plaguing his mind... it was the Collectors that'd been doing it the most.

At least ever since The Illusive Man mentioned they could've been responsible for what'd happened here.

"Touchdown. You're free to move, party." Wilbert broadcast over the PA, "Sheila and I will wait here. We'll deploy some Mechs to guard the Kodiak."

"Take care guys. See you soon. Be safe." When the door opened, the three carefully stepped out and took a careful eye to their surroundings.

The first thing John noticed was the snow.

It reminded him of Noveria.

Even in his armor, John could feel the nasty bite of cold touch his fingers every time the wind would gust or make a low howl.

He glanced at Miranda.

Even in the wind and the shitty lighting, she looked perfect.

Other men might have called it beauty or perfect.

But John called it weird.

"Cold?" He asked simply to her.

She graced him with a blank stare.

"No."

John sighed mentally.

He was _really_ sick of façades.

I mean, _r__eally_ sick of them.

"She's like that all the time, Commander, you should know that by now." Jacob said, sensing John's thoughts, "I wouldn't worry about it."

Miranda said nothing as they walk across the landing pad.

"Welcome to Freedom's Progress." John read on a frosted over sign, "Population: 913,000..."

He shook his head.

"Christ."

They both stepped up behind him.

"Orders, commander?"

He took a deep breath and turned around to face them before grabbing for his rifle. "Check your corners and targets. I don't want a single round fired without my explicit permission. Understood?"

"Yes sir."

"Absolutely."

They step off the landing pad, crossed the catwalk, and approached the door that would lead them downstairs into the settlement.

* * *

><p>"We came as fast as we could…" The entire group breathed heavily when they made it to the top of the wall.<p>

"Good. But we need to move faster. We set up and start searching for Veetor after we get our FOB running."

"Plan of motion if we come into contact with the unknown group?"

"Do _not_ look hostile. I'd like to get out of this with everyone's heads on straight. But safeties remain off. I don't want them to get a jump on us if they are ready to kill people." Prazza motioned for the teams to set up and move out.

"Let's go. We move in a column efficiently and effectively." Without even having to speak, four squads began repelling down the wall to set up a small base of operations in a nearby building.

"How's our ship?" Olasie asked Prazza when they began setting up rendered images of the city's layout.

"Our ship's guard detail is aware of the situation and is patrolling the landing zone. The URD's en-route to scan the area. ETA one minute."

"Okay… who do you want to send out on a search party?

"You and second squad will begin the search on this quadrant of the city." He pointed to the holographic image that was now up and running, "Third squad will protect our FOB. Fourth will conduct the search on this quadrant. I want to keep our line of communication active. Five minute updates. We need to be thorough."

Prazza set his DMR down on his lap before looking over the city's layout. "We should… have an aerial view any second now…" He whispered, "Maybe we can spot the people who landed earlier."

The squad leaders around him nodded in unison. He looked to them. "Any suggestions? Should we initiate peaceful contact with the group?"

"Yes. It's better for them to know were here. Last thing we need is for them to get spooked and engage."

"Too many unknowns yet to decide. What's their disposition? Objective? What's their armament potential?"

Tali listened from a distance while she remained transfixed on the falling snowflakes from outside the closed window.

"You're right, Erickeh. We don't know. Let's just wait for the UAV's Visual."

On cue, the hologram began giving a detailed overview of Freedom's building layout.

Prazza pointed almost immediately to the display. "There! Right there. We've got… six signatures…"

The squad leaders began picking out the details of their juicy find.

"It looks like they're looking for something…"

"See there? They've got two Mechs guarding their shuttle."

"They're armed. They don't look like looters. Could be Human or Batarian… hard to tell."

"More likely Humans… The Hegemony border is too far out. And since when did they start deploying Kodiak's for shuttle transportation?"

"Definitely not looters. Maybe they're Alliance then?"

"If it were the Alliance, they would have sent a whole damned company here with a cruiser overhead. Doubtful. Plus... the color scheme is off for it to be the Alliance."

"We outnumber them by a little over forty. I vote to initiate contact." Prazza said aloud.

"Agreed." Another squad leader said.

They all nodded.

"Then we've got a plan of action. Volunteers?" Prazza looked around the room.

"Our squad can split up." Olasie offered, "I only need four or five men tops. And since Tali's our ambassador, we'll make the perfect contact group."

"Fine." Prazza pointed to them, "Take Tali, Juel, and two of your squad to meet them. We'll ping you their location." He turned to those who milled about the large room, "The rest of first squad will be joining second to continue our search. Remember: LOKI Mechs may be in the area. Be wary, people."

He turned back to Olasie. "Olasie? Be careful. Carry on your task at full discretion. Your parameters are to do everything peacefully, however."

"Okay." Olasie gave him a single nod before motioning her small team to follow her.

When they stepped back outside into the darkness, they stared emptily down its length before looking to each other.

"Ready everyone?" Olasie asked.

They all nodded slowly.

"Okay..." Olasie huffed, "Let's do this."

She took her first step and her team slowly followed.

Juel noticed Tali removing a her ammo block out of her shotgun. "What are you doing?"

"Loading incendiary rounds." She said before pocketing the block and removing another.

"Why?"

She stared at him with her empty looking eyes. "They work better on Collectors."

Juel's brow furrowed darkly when she inserted her new block into her weapon before priming it.

It's not that Juel didn't believe a word she was saying... but, if her experience was anything to go on, it told him she'd been through some _terrible_ things.

He fell back in line and decided he'd change the block in his own gun.

It was better to be safe about it than never getting the chance to say sorry.

Tali would point the barrel of her shotgun in whichever direction her paranoia would tell her to.

Shadow?

Aim at it.

A corner?

Aim at that.

A doorway?

Keep your eyes on it.

The idea of a Collector lurking in some dark haunting shadow _terrified_ her enough to make her want to keel over and hurl into her mask.

She'd have to face a million geth before she'd ever consider the idea of coming head to head with one of them again.

Tali's wide-eyed stare and frantic look was starting to get worse.

She was worrying herself into insanity.

"Tali?" Juel murmured quietly, "You okay?"

"No… quite frankly… I'm not." She answered with an uneasy mutter.

Juel decided not to push the issue any further.

"This is one-actual… can you hear me two?" Prazza muttered through the radio.

"Yes." Replied Olasie, "We're already en-route to the map marker."

"Good. I'll keep you posted. Maintain current heading. Out."

Tali nodded at Prazza's voice and took a deep breath.

The erratic gusts of chilly wind blew against Tali's realk was making her grit her teeth.

Its howling hiss wasn't quelling any of her anxiety either.

Nor were the tricks the shadows of every _fucking_ corner would play with her eyes.

And walking down these unkempt alleyway between what'd once been someone's home was too confining... There'd be nowhere to run if they ran into the brown ugly freaks.

This was going to drive her _crazy._

Olasie rose her hand to halt the formation. "Hold it. I see two mechs coming up on our left. Talukh? Take em' out. _Silently_."

"Yes ma'am." Talukh nodded to the woman before disappearing from view.

Huh.

That brought Tali some comfort.

She didn't know they had an infiltrator with them.

The man obviously had a large serrated knife of some sort. Because he came back with servo oil spilled across his blade.

"Easy enough." He shrugged before sheathing the slicked knife, "Took their battery packs. Maybe if we have time, we can come back and salvage some of their parts."

"Good work. Let's keep moving." They exited out of the alleyway and came across a four lane highway filled with empty cars.

Hundreds of them.

All of them with their doors and ajar.

Juel's mouth fell open. "Keelah..."

"...Oh my god." Olasie murmured.

As the marines passed by, they'd glance inside some of them and shake their heads.

And when it was Tali's turn, she skimmed over the interior of some family sedan before setting her eyes on a small stuffed animal in the backseat.

Keelah.

What happened here.

* * *

><p>"Commander. Wilbert's saying that he's found around forty contacts spread out across the town." Jacob frowned as he turned his Omni-tool off, "Most likely looters or pirates."<p>

"We don't know that for sure. We're going to come across them at one point. We'll find out what's going on. And If we have to shoot, we shoot."

Jacob nodded. "We're going to find out what's going on very shortly, Wilbert's reporting five or so of them coming our way."

"Does our pilot know where they are exactly?" He motioned for them to go back outside onto the street.

"Yeah… about… a hundred or so meters out now. The Mechs they've killed haven't been much trouble." Jacob said while depressing a number of buttons on his Omni-tool.

"Any armed group wouldn't have an issue handling security drones." Miranda chided while scanning the building tops.

"True enough…" Jacob closed the door behind him as they stepped back out onto the chilled snow, "…We've searched through close to five homes now and have yet to find anything." The operative shook his head in disbelief.

"See that?" John pointed to a security camera, "That looks like an answer. Maybe we can trace something if we find a wire." John said as they walked, "Hell, maybe even the people here might have some answers."

They vaulted over a small line of fencing and around an abandoned air car before finally taking a moment to get a view of their new surroundings.

"Looks like we're at town square…" John murmured while looked at the ground to see a high volume of softened foot prints strewn about in the icy snow.

John's brow furrowed when he realized the foot prints weren't ones that could've been made by a human.

"Hey." John said as he pointed in the icey slush, "Come look at these..."

But before Jacob and Miranda could get a chance to look themselves, a voice shouted out to them.

"Identify! State your purpose and content here!"

What in living hell.

That caught him off guard.

The voice alone told him enough.

It belonged to a _quarian_.

He turned around slowly and confirmed his guess.

Right there, twenty meters away, were three of them with what looked to be the leader standing in the middle of the street.

This was confusing.

The quarian leader spoke again, louder this time.

"I ask again: Identify yourself! State your purpose and content for being here!"

"I should be asking _you_ that question." John answered.

His brow had quirked when he noticed one of the quarians, embroidered in beautiful purple swirls (Much like Tali's veil he noted) take a questionable step backward while placing a fist against her breast.

With a frail sigh, he decided it would be better if he just answer the damn question. "I'm here with my team to investigate the colony's sudden black-out."

His gaze remained fixed on the quarian who kept taking steps backward until her back lined against a wall.

* * *

><p><strong>Five minutes prior…<strong>

"Just two more streets to cross. Looks like they're leaving the building for the next one." Prazza stated over the COM unit.

"Copy. We'll keep you posted if the situation changes. We'll initiate contact in five minutes." Olasie responded before pointing to her two subordinates. I want you two to separate and follow us in the shadows. If you can find a heightened vantage point to cover us, do it. Understood?"

"Understood." The two look to each other before running off into a nearby alleyway.

"Okay…" Olasie sighed before taking a deep breath, "Just us three now. You ready guys?"

The three look to each other nervously before nodding. "As ready as we can be." Tali's squeamish stomach lurched into her throat at the prospect of communicating with armed and dangerous men. For all she knew (Much to her paranoia) it could be Collectors hiding in Human flesh ready to take her back into their horrid ship to experiment on her.

A stupid idea…

yet…

"Tali? You sure you want to do this?" Juel and Olasie both stared worriedly at her.

Her words fell from her mouth before she could speak them evenly. "I… I don't know… I…"

Olasie put a hand on her shoulder. "Tali? It's okay. I can do it if you want. But I do need you to talk to them once we find out why they're here. Can you do that?"

"Yes." She nodded vigorously to show some encouragement, "I can… thanks, Olasie." Tali rife emotions forced her to take a deep breath. The fear in her stomach could be parallel with being at the mercy of a Krogan armed with only a paper clip and a craving for quarian blood. Another whiff of air into her lungs to keep the senseless thoughts at bay.

"Let's do this then." She mumbled with finality. They took the last bend in the street before finally catching a view of three humans milling about in the courtyard.

While the other two humans were gesturing and talking with their omni-tools lit, she couldn't help but keep her stare on the man who'd been staring at the snow, looking as if he'd just lost something in it.

And, ironically enough, he looked _strangely_ familiar...

"Olasie… We're in position and have you under cover. You can initiate contact."

Olasie nodded to her COM unit and looked to Juel and Tali. "Here goes…" The woman mumbled meekly.

She stood up, glanced at the gun in her hands, and walked out into the middle of the street.

"Identify! State your purpose and content here!" She yelled to the three humans.

Tali saw the two of them that flanked the one in the middle whirl around to face them.

But the one in the middle remain transfixed on the ground for five full seconds.

Olasie swore under her breath at the intense amount of silence that hung in the air.

Finally he turned around to face them.

"I ask again! Identify yourself! State your purpose and content for being here!" Olasie repeated with a little less tact this time. It seemed Olasie didn't much care for the lack of an answer.

The human in the middle finally spoke. "I should be asking _you_ that question."

Tali's world was _knocked_ asunder.

Her heart had cried out in sudden anguish.

That voice...

**_THAT._**

**_VOICE._**

She took an uneasy step backward and placed a hand along her breast to touch her jewelry's centerpiece.

"I'm here with my team to investigate the colony's sudden black-out." The man added while looking a little disappointed with himself.

She took as many steps backward before lining her back along a wall.

"_Tali_…?" Juel hissed quietly so the humans couldn't hear, "What the _hell_ is wrong?" Juel's faceplate tilted to show his worrisome concern. "You okay?"

"T-t-_that_… _voice_…" Tali whispered, "It_…I-i-itcantbeit**j**ust**c**ant_." Her eyes are as wide as a Varren's.

"Why are you guys here?" The man asked while taking a step closer. To show his compliance, he ordered his subordinates to holster their weapons while doing so himself.

"What do you _mean_, Tali? _Whose_ voice? _His_ voice?" Juel was definitely worried now.

Tali continued to shake her head while glancing back at that human with a voice just like John's.

Olasie seemed to take notice and hissed in Tali's ear. "Tali?! _What the hell_?" Before she could further instigate Tali's mad emotions, Olasie turned to the approaching humans.

"We're here looking for a pilgrim with the name of Veetor."

"A quarian pilgrim out on in the Traverse?" John's finger is placed at the base of his helmet. "I had a quarian pilgrim on my team once." He mentioned. Tali suppressed a muffled cry and lay flatter against the wall.

"Maybe we can reach our goals mutually, then." John nodded and turned to face the frightened looking woman. "Is she okay?"

"I'm… I'm not quite sure…" Juel remarked quietly to the commander before turning back to Tali, "I think we should go and regroup back to our FOB to get situated. We'll meet you back with Prazza and the others." He reached around Tali's shoulder and carefully brought her back down the alley toward their temporary base.

Tali, with her arms wrapped tightly around her chest, mumbled a quiet string of insanities while giving another fleeting look at what she swore was her long dead lover.

Is this what insanity was like?

_Truly… she had lost it._

Juel kept his stride up until they were well out of sight.

"Tali? For Ancestor's sake… tell me what the _hell_ is going on." He tried to give a comforting tone, but failed miserably at it.

"That _man_… That man is _John'Shepard_!" She nearly screamed at Juel while wailing into a fit of tears.

Juel's eyes widen while his arms fell to his sides in exasperated shock.

"…_what_?" Juel stammered breathlessly while looking behind him suspiciously. "Tali… you said he was _dead_. How could he be standing right there? Are you _absolutely_ sure? We can't even see his face…"

"I _don't_ know, okay?!" She pointed accusingly at herself while her chest trembled from the tears falling freely from her eyes, "_I don't know_! I mean… I got his last message… I heard him _dying_… and I—and to see him standing there _normally_? —_Like he… like he_…" Her words roll off the tongue in a hurried gulp for breath, "Like he didn't even _die_! Like nothing _ever_ happened!" Her breath turns into a heaving cry while she shook violently from her heaving breaths, "I… I _don't_ get it… why here? Why now? I don't…! —I don't _understand_!"

"Calm down, Tali. _Calm_ _down_. We don't even know it's him yet, okay?" Juel grabbed for Tali's forearm and tugged assertively. "Come on. There are still mechs out here. We have to get back. You can get your thoughts together back at the base… Now seriously, come on!"

Tali, whose eyes remained unfixed by anything that crossed her glossy gaze, mumbled to herself the entire way back.

* * *

><p><strong>Three minutes prior…<strong>

"What the hell was that, Commander?" Jacob hushed his concern with a hand covering his mouth.

"The hell if I know…" John shrugged while finally exchanging nods with the remaining quarian.

"Commander Shepard. System's Alliance." He shook the quarian girl's hand vigorously, "Any idea why your friend sped off the way she did with your other soldier?"

She shrugged before looking down the alley Tali left in. "No…I have no idea…" Olasie cleared her throat before awkwardly adding: "I, uh…have two more of my men that have a zero on us… I'll have them come back down to meet us."

John nodded in staunch approval. "That's good, ma'am. That's what you should do every time. Don't be sorry for doing the right thing." He took a moment to analyze the snowy landscape before finally speaking again, "So you guys don't know what happened either…" He said as a way of statement.

She only shook her head. "No. The only reason why we're here is because we received a distress call from a pilgrim here: Veetor. That's why…" She took a step out toward the open street to give herself a moment to peer down its length. "I have to ask… why did the Alliance only send a single shuttle?" Olasie now had turned to face the Commander.

Miranda and Jacob both exchanged worried glances.

"The Alliance needed discretion; _especially_ in the face of colonies that wish to remain outside of Alliance jurisdiction." He fluttered his hand in a sign of loathing disappointment, "Unfortunately… the turn for rejecting our protocol is also refusing protection that could be propagated in the Traverse. Hence things like this." John finally shook his head.

"It's a pity…" Olasie sighed while placing a hand along the frame of an iced car door.

"It is." Shepard agreed while thumbing to Jacob and Miranda, "I'd like to you to meet Lieutenant Taylor and Major Lawson."

Jacob frowned at having his rank below his wife, but said nothing.

"A pleasure." Miranda smiled and shook the quarian's hand briskly.

"Like the suit, hun." The quarian intoned between their handshake.

"Nice to meet you. My name is Jacob Taylor."

"My name is Olasie, if I forgot to mention it." She shook Jacob's next. When they finished exchanging their pleasantries, Olasie's men finally turned the corner and met up with her.

"We're Out-Op, Olasie. Let's head back to base. You advised Prazza of what's going on?"

"Yes. Prazza is aware and wants us back at the FOB ASAP."

"Okay…" Olasie flicked the safety off her weapon before tilting her head in the direction they needed to go, "Follow us, Commander. I think it would be a good idea if we stick together."

"Agreed." John let a small smile appear on his face. His luck couldn't have been any better. Running into quarians on his first visit on this planet was like waking up from this putrid nightmare.

It was anything short of a miracle… hopefully, they could help Shepard find his way back to Tali… or at least point him in the right direction. Surely she must've been a quarian celebrity with how she'd helped him kill Saren and his puppet Geth. Not to mention the terabytes of data she had given as a pilgrimage gift.

John, under the satisfaction of finally planning on how to see Tali again, took on each step with a little more confidence than the last.

The cocktail of emotions that spilled into his gut was a little overbearing, but he made do with what he had.

But he wasn't lying to himself; it was mainly anxiety.

He wouldn't even know where to begin… or how to explain his two year disappearance. Would she even have the desire to hear him out? Would she even care anymore? Would she hate him forever?

Did she… move on?

The ugly ideas of reality reared their heads as he thought.

When the time came, he concluded, he would know what to say.

* * *

><p>"Tali?" Juel's voice carried enough weight to make her turn around, "Tell me what's going on."<p>

"I don't know, Juel!" She rose her hands up in protest, "I. _Don't_. Know."

"You need to talk to the man." Juel offered while taking another step closer to the woman, "He'll be here soon."

She shook her head. "I'm crazy… I just know it." A bitter chortle left her lips. Juel frowned at the obnoxious sound.

"No. You are not. You were bonded to the man. You don't forget things like this." He closed the distance and put both hands on her shoulders, "I can help you. Let's see if this man really is John'Shepard. If he is… he has a **_lot_** of explaining to do." Tali could see the translucent glare that came from the other side of his visor.

"Okay…" She nodded slowly and placed both of her hands on her small medallion, "…Okay" she repeated with a small snort.

She sat down in an empty chair that neighbored a dinner table laden with uneaten food.

They both look to the array of meats and vegetables.

"Odd." Juel mumbled while looking over a bowl of small yellow squares.

"It's corn, Juel." She muttered uninterestingly while placing her head into both of her palms.

"Corn?" The nook between his pointer and thumb fits between his vocalizer, "Looks tasty."

* * *

><p>John saluted the platoon sergeant as a sign of respect. "Commander Shepard. Alliance Navy. Where's your Lieutenant?"<p>

Prazza gave the human a good careful once over before returning the military gesture. "Good to have the Alliance with us, Commander. I _am_ the Lieutenant." Prazza allowed himself a moment to relax while thumbing the hologram behind him, "I'll get you up to speed with our situation."

John signaled for Jacob and Miranda to mingle with the other quarians.

"A Lieutenant Platoon Sergeant?"

"We're not Alliance, Commander… Responsibilities in our militaries are carried out differently. I'd love to give you a lesson on how our chain of command operates, but we're pressed for time. But I would like to mention that we are called out by our job description rather than our actual rank."

The quarian sergeant led the ex-Spectre to a portable platform with a holographic image of the city's layout.

"I'm sure Olasie has informed you of our problem?"

"Yeah. She did. You've got a Pilgrim named Veetor here and you're trying to find him. We can help aide the search effort in exchange for helping us find evidence for what could have happened here. But tell me one thing…" Shepard's hands unknowingly fold across his chest as he leaned in to whisper to the platoon sergeant, "It looked like one of your soldiers had a break down when she saw me…"

"Uh…" Prazza shook his head as if he were trying to remember something, "Yes, Olasie told me about that. I think she might have snapped when she saw a human again… No offense."

"What do you mean? How do you figure?"

"I heard she lost her Captain two years ago… was part of some human ship that helped take down that…" Prazza looked around suspiciously to make sure no one could hear him within earshot, "…that thing called a _Reaper_ during her pilgrimage." He said at last while carefully looking behind both his shoulders.

…_What?_

John's mind reeled. He took a step back and let his gaze fall to his feet while he contemplated the sheer and very crazy coincidence of it all. The sudden pounding in his ears started to aggravate him.

He saw Tali.

And didn't even -_fucking-_ know it.

_Brilliant._

_Truly_ the best way to introduce yourself after she thought you were dead for _Two_. _Fucking_. _Years_.

John didn't keep the jittery show of anxiety in check and Prazza took very careful notice.

"What's her name?"

"Tali'Zorah vas Neema…" His brows rise as he answered the human, "…why?"

John shook his head at his own pathetic sense of perception.

…_shit_. _shitshitshitshit_. _Not. Fucking. Good._

_Keep your fucking cool, John. Don't screw this shit up any further._

"Where is she?"

"I, uh… from what I can remember, she went down that hallway to your right to get her bearings back together… She's with Juel, her bondmate or something." Prazza stepped up next to the commander as they both look down the hallway.

"Her… bondmate?" John's voice cracked as his gaze lowered into an unfocused stare.

"I think they're bonded… I have no clue. I don't know them very well. They did come together on this mission though." Prazza remarked before looking to the Commander.

"I want to see her." John finally said depressingly, "To say I'm sorry… for you know…" He turned to face the platoon sergeant, "…for scaring her."

"She's a civvie. So it's not my call." Prazza turned and yelled for Olasie, "Olasie!"

"Yes Sergeant?"

"Could you please direct the Commander to Tali? He wants to apologize to her."

"Can do. This way Commander. I'm sure she'll be alright seeing you now."

John followed silently until they reach the room's doorway.

"She should be in here." Olasie stated while walking through the entrance.

"Huh…" Olasie scanned the room from left to right, "I thought she was in here…" She gave the living area another hasty glance, "…That's fine. Stay here. I'll go find her." When Olasie Left, Ms. Lawson had entered the room. John kept his gaze fixed on the wall before him while taking off his helmet.

Shepard paid the woman no mind when she called out to him.

"Commander?" Lawson asked while she approached.

"What is it?" He leaned on the end of a rustic piece of furniture before glaring at the Cerberus operative.

"You're tachycardic. Your heart is going into—"

"I'm fine." Shepard rudely interrupted Miranda with a low growl.

"No. You're not. You aren't ready for stress like this…I need you to calm down before you give yourself an embolism."

"You're not serious." Shepard's eyes fixate with hers.

The look on her face told him she was _indeed_ being serious.

He rolled his eyes inattentively. "What do you want me to do?" He muttered miserably.

"Take off your glove." She ordered while extracting a small parcel out of her bag.

"Fine." He unclasped the locking mechanism that kept his gauntlet on. She opened the package and gently grabbed for his bare hand.

"A little pinch." She whispered before injecting him with a fluid into his wrist.

He stared at the needle for a long while until it was done administering.

"Done." She kept holding on to his hand. How she marveled at the success of nurturing this man back to life. Apparently it didn't occur to her that she was overstepping the boundary of personal Space.

If he didn't know any better, it looked like they were holding each other's hands affectionately.

It wouldn't really have mattered to John if the timing weren't so _horribly_ bad.

"…J-_John_…?" Tali stood at the doorway with both her palms placed squarely between her breasts.

Miranda looked unamused when she looked over to the young quarian. Shepard's mouth hung open as he tried to walk over to her.

"…Tali…?"

The quarian lashed outward with a sneer powerful enough to halt John's advance. "Stay _away from_ me." Her hot eyes felt like superheated tungsten pokers touching John's chest.

"Tali…? Please… Please Just let me…" He walked toward her again. When he finally came within arm's length she pushed him away forcefully. He fell back and slammed against the table behind him and knocked over a sizable number of bowls holding generous amounts of sauces and food.

"STAY. _AWAY_! _FROM_ ME!" She screamed, "WHY?! Shepard?! WHY!? You _PROMISED._ _ME_." By now her eyes are stained with tears, "You… you _son of a bitch_! I believed for so long that you were _dead_! And _you_…! –and I find you _like_… _like **this**_…_!?_ With another _woman_ no less?!"

She took several steps back while covering her breasts with both her arms in an attempt to keep the violent trembling at bay. "How could you…? How **_Could_** You, John?"

"Tali… please… just _please_ listen…" He called out and tried to touch her again.

Her arms swings outward. "Don't touch me. Don't _Touch_ _Me!_"

Her screams seemed to be loud enough, because Juel stepped in with his sub machine gun primed and aiming at Shepard's head.

"Back away from her. **_Now_**. I won't ask _again_, Human." Juel sneered while pulling the ejection handle for effect.

Before long, Miranda's own pistol is primed and aiming for Juel's visor. "Not a wise proposition, quarian." She chided angrily.

"_What the hell is going on in here?"_ Prazza shouted while hesitating if he should bring his own rifle to bear.

"Miranda. Stand down." Shepard muttered while looking at the filthy amounts of food that stained his armor.

"_Commander_." Her tone could cut steel.

"I said: S_tand_. _Down_." He repeated again with a little more malice. He heard her pistol holster neatly back into its pocket.

"I'll comply." John took a few steps back, but his gaze never left Tali. "I don't want this to turn into an incident."

Juel's weapon clicked back into safety and went to Tali. "You okay?"

Tali said nothing and practically ran out the door and away from John.

Those who remained under the silence of cold muffled winds, awkwardly stare at each other to get a sense of some direction from what happened just moments before.

"Commander…" Prazza began while looking at the sauces that spilled across his armor, "I'd recommend that you keep your distance from Tali'Zorah for the remainder of this mission." He stepped forward aggressively to assert his order, "Otherwise _we -will-_ have an incident in our hands. Am I _absolutely_ clear?"

"Do you know why she's lost it like that, Sergeant?" Shepard's voice is barely above a cracked whisper.

"No. I don't, commander. Would you mind enlightening me?"

"Because, Prazza… I am _the_ Commander John Shepard. The one who stopped Saren and his Geth from taking over the Citadel."

Prazza handed the man a towel to wipe off the filth.

"As much as I am inclined to believe you Commander, you will still keep your distance until we are done exercising our search and rescue effort. I will not have you and your team compromise this operation."

"Remember where you stand, Sergeant." Miranda called out evenly, "You are on a Human settlement in the Traverse. You are also speaking to a human officer with a rank and pay grade twenty times higher than you."

"Irrelevant." Prazza countered with an angry grimace, "You do not fall under my chain of command."

"This _is_ relevant, Sergeant. My after action report will detail every event that has occurred during this operation. That report will then be passed to _my_ chain of command for a determination of where both our people stand. I suggest you not order the Commander where he can and cannot go on this _Human_ settlement."

Prazza shook his head and complied. "I ask you to please not start anything. For everyone's sake."

"Agreed." Shepard's weary tone reached out to everyone still standing in the living area.

"Good." Prazza breathed out a sigh of relief, "Let's go people. We're done here. Back to your posts. Now." One by one, the quarian marines filed out of the room until only John and Miranda were left.

"I'm going to find her, Miranda. I need to." John said desperately as he looked out to the open door.

"I'll help you." She replied softly with a graceless but sincere grin.

"Why would you be interested in helping me?"

"I'm here to help you Commander, be as it may." The weird looking smile grew and John felt his stomach churn a little. As sincere as the smile was…she apparently didn't do it much.

"Okay… Where's Jacob?"

"Helping the search effort with Prazza's first squad." They both walk out of the hallway and run into Juel shortly thereafter.

When they passed him, Juel extended a hand to halt their advance. "Stop." Juel said before pulling John and Miranda to the side, "Look… I, uh…I want to say sorry… to both of you... and for aiming at your head… Name's Juel'Kaan, by the way…"

"Don't worry about." Shepard said while rubbing the back of his neck in an awkward fashion, "You did what you had to do…"

"Look… I'm not going to pretend to know what's going on… but I wanted to ask some questions… to straighten things out." Juel motioned for them to follow him to a secluded part of the building. Quarian passerby glanced curiously at the man covered in partly dried gravy and beans.

"Do you know her? Tali, I mean?" Shepard asked while following closely behind with Miranda in tow.

"Know her?" He scoffed slightly when they entered a foyer of some kind, "I've been stuck with Tali ever since she came aboard the Neema…" He shook his head at the numerous piles of memories that lay buried in his head, "You've got to answer me truthfully." Juel turned around and leaned against the wall to look as casual as possible.

"Do you know where she is?"

Juel rose his hand to stop the imminent bombardment from the human. "Yes. I do. Remember: my questions first."

The ex-Spectre frowned but gave his consent.

"That could be anyone wearing John'Shepard's face. How do we know it's really you?"

"Juel… I _need_ to speak to her."

Juel's brows lower in objection.

"_Please_… you have no idea how much I have to explain… you _have_ to trust me…" Shepard's voice practically pleaded to the man, "She needs to know where I was."

"Answer my question then. How do I know it's really you?" It didn't look like the quarian was going to budge.

"Because... I love her. That's it… I… I have nothing else to prove." John, defeated by his own lack of conviction, spoke in a raspy croak.

"You get _one_ more chance, Shepard. Don't squander it… and keep her under control will you? You're bringing up a wide array of emotions she's been trying to bury for two years. And now they're all coming up at once." Juel's index jabs at his stained armor, "She's told me _a lot_ about you, Commander. She's showed me holos, videos, and about anything of the like. She is downright _obsessed_ with you. And to think you were dead when you weren't? That's going to hurt her. And you saw what that did."

Juel began walking down the hallway and John began to follow somberly. Juel's speech was not helping his already sullen mood.

"Miranda…" John called out quietly, "I'm going to do this alone. I'll catch up with you when I can."

"Will do."

"How well do you know her?" John asked to break the silence.

"Well enough." Juel replied, "I'm not bonded to her, if that's what you're asking. She's not bonded to anyone."

Juel saw the man's shoulders perk up a little bit. Juel could only shake his head and grin slightly at the man's transparency. According to Tali's description it would fit him perfectly.

"Right through here." Juel stopped right at the entranceway and gave John the wave to go in.

John silently stepped into the room and saw Tali sitting at the far end in a chair with her back facing them.

John gave Juel a nod and he left him alone with her. For good measure, Juel slowly closed the door behind them both.

"Tali." John whispered while making sure he kept his distance.

He could hear a quiet sniffle from the woman.

"Tali… please..."

"What do you want…?" She slurred through an acrid murmur. She didn't even bother to turn around and face him.

"I want to explain." John replied in a fretful whisper. The man was beyond terrified of what this conversation held for both of them.

"It isn't worth explaining, _Shepard_." Tali lied. She wanted to know. She _needed_ to know. And she _needed_ those answers _now_.

However pressing those questions were... it couldn't push past the tar and grease that soiled over her heart.

"Yes. _It is_, Tali…"

"You _lied_." She muttered lamely, "You _lied_ about your death and _left_ me and everyone that cared about you _behind_…"

"I was **_dead_**, damnit! I did _DIE!_" John pointed straight at her and she finally turned around to face him.

That part obviously caught her immediate attention. "I was brought back… resurrected... I don't know… I've been trapped for months in rehab just so I could walk again!" He took several steps toward her.

Her gaze faltered and she resumed her search for the floor's grimy details.

"Tali... there's so much I need to get caught up on..." His own teary eyed gaze fell when he finally sat down in a chair opposite from her.

It must've been her last strand of reality finally giving way to insanity. This couldn't be happening. Having John here right in front of her like this?

Unquestionably senseless.

Completely Ludicrous…

"This isn't real…" Her head sunk even further, "It can't be… John Shepard is _dead_."

"It is real, Tali. I'm _right_ here!" John had to stop himself from letting his shout pass the wall's proofing.

Tali was shook out of her reverie at John's exasperation. "Tali. I. Am. _Right_. _Here_."

She shook her head again and fought harder against this kind of unreality. She'd wake up soon. She had enough of these _stupid_ dreams.

John was beginning to grow impatient. He got up and put a hand on her shoulder before placing a pointer under her chin.

"Tali. I'm _right_ here." He said for the third time. He lowered to a kneel and caught her fleeting glances.

"John?" Tali whispered into his ear, "Don't leave me…" Their eyes meet and John finally let a sad smile sprawl across his face.

"I'm not going _anywhere_. I'm going to stay right here for as long as you need me to."

Tali began to realize this really wasn't a dream. "John?" Her eyes widen in slow realization.

"John…?" Her tongue rolled awkwardly as she said the name. Her voice, as disparaged as it was, clung on to some feeble hope that John wasn't dead.

"It's me, Tali. It's me. God _damnit_ it's _me_…" His voice cracked several more times when he slowly wrapped his arms around her.

Her chest trembled as she gripped his shoulders and hugged him tightly. John could feel her silent sobs when her grip turned into a vice.

"Keelah... _John_…" She swallowed hard before squeezing her eyes shut, "...you have _so_ much explaining to do…" Her joyful tears recess down her cheeks while a bright smile spread across her lips, "I can't… I can't believe it! How?! John?!" She stood with her arms still around him and squeezed harder until it almost hurt.

"John! Oh ancestors! John!_ I can't believe you're alive! I just can't... oh, Keelah I'm going to hyperventilate..."_

_Everything_ felt better again. Shepard finally let out the breath he was holding… mainly because Tali was squeezing it out of him anyways.

When she was finished, she took a step back and frowned slightly at the thought of that Miranda woman, "But…what about that woman you…were holding hands with?"

"She was giving me a shot, Tali… nothing else. It was bad timing…" He shrugged but thought nothing of it. He had Tali back. With him.

Just as it should be.

Tali's hand held her visor in shame. "I caused a scene and everything… I just… _couldn't_ control myself… please forgive me." She couldn't control the giddy feeling she had. Topping the tears that kept falling freely from her eyes didn't help either. "Come here… I could really go for another hug…"

She urged for him to embrace her again. "Damnit, _John_… God _Damnit_…"

He pat her back rhythmically while his smile grew.

A minute passed and they both stood quietly with their eyes closed to get caught up in the serious absence of each other.

"...You have absolutely no reason to be sorry." John separated the embrace and kept her at arm's length. When he did, he glanced at the piece of jewelry centered between her breasts. He idly placed the medallion into his palm and played with the weight.

There, in the engravings, just as he remembered, read:

ᴛᴏ ᴜs.

"You really haven't moved on." John rasped quietly, "Did Garrus give it to you?"

"Yeah…" She replied at last, "I wore it... to remember you." She sniffled a bit before playing with the weight herself, "Although I was a little disappointed you didn't give it me in person." She teased, "But it's okay."

He embraced her again and had forgotten the long list of worries that troubled his mind. "Tali... I love you."

Her smile grew until it hurt her cheeks. "John... I love you too."

Another minute of silence passed before Tali finally spoke.

"I'm still so confused... we have so much catching up to do... _You_ have so much catching up to do..." She rest her head into the nook of his shoulder before sighing.

"I know... we still have a lot to talk about... But I'm back... and I'm **_not_ **leaving you."


	36. Freedom's Progress Part II

**A/N:**

Continuing on from Freedom's Progress!

Enjoy friends!

I do have some questions for my awesome readers at the end of this chapter. It'd be great if you could answer some of them when you're done reading!

Thank you!

(pls revuuw I need dem revvuews, pls!)

* * *

><p>"So…" Tali's hands grasped Shepard's shoulders gently. "What do we do from here?"<p>

He reached for one of her hands before glowering. "I'm not sure…I was hoping you could help me out?"

"For you? Anything." Her digits wrap around his tightly and held her faceplate an inch from his nose.

"Keep your head on your shoulders. I need you to hear me out first..." He took a deep breath to stave off the indecision that plagued his thoughts. "I—_don't freak out_…I…was brought back by….Cerberus."

John could feel her tense tightly. "John?"

"I know…I know…and I need to get the _hell_ away from them." He looked around the room as if the Illusive man himself were sniffing his shoulder. "Those two people out there? They're Cerberus operatives. They're _good _people. Trust me. But I can't do this. Not with them. I need to find a way back to the Alliance without having some terrorist organization breathing down my back as a beneficiary. It's not an option."

She nodded vigorously in agreement. "You sure? Absolutely certain they won't act against us?"

"Yes. They're not going to do something they'll regret."

She nodded lamely to show she trusted him.

"It's a little late to ask that question, actually..." Tali sighed while silently asking for him to sit down next to her. "Cerberus managed to breach the flotilla's defense grid months ago…Killed civilians aboard our ship named the _Idenna_. It's a long story and one I'll tell you later."

John's transfixed stare broke and he scoffed starkly at the thought of civilians, let alone _Quarian_ Civilians, getting slaughtered by the hands of Cerberus soldiers. "I can't believe they would do that. That's low…even by their standards."

"Well t_hey_ did." She disputed quite harshly. "We _have_ to get you away from them." She crossed her arms while devising a way to get John away from those low rot eating Varren. "…You should come with me…I'm sure my government can grant you some sort of asylum…or at the very least, have you become a provisional guest…Maybe more." She groped blindly for his arm and began listing the numerous reasons why he should do so. "My government believes in the Reaper threat, too…you could be outfitted with a Quarian crew and apply for a Flotilla subsidy or the like…"

He nodded brightly at the concept. It didn't sound bad at all.

"It's a plan worth pursuing…but what if we don't get those things?"

"You can always go back to the Alliance…we can reinitiate you back into the Spectres if at all possible…If it comes to that, I'll gladly take a leave of absence to help."

His gloved hand rubbed thoughtfully along his chin. "Good. Then I'm coming with you...But this secret? It stays between us until we're ready to tell the others."

"Okay."

"Good…I'm going to have to contact my mom and dad…" He placed a hand to rub his neck worriedly as he thought of what the implications could actually hold of speaking to his parents that thought he was dead. "I had a trust to ensure they would get whatever remained of my finances incase if something happened." He nodded grimly. "I'm going to have to contact them…hopefully they didn't spend all of it." He leveled his pensive gaze across her glossy glass. "Would your friends mind if we ran an errand to pick up some essentials? Food and whatnot?"

"Of course. If anything, I'm sure Prazza would be happy to get some leave for a day." Tali's cheery smile, although hidden, continued beaming at the man. "This is going to be _amazing_…but when the time comes…what _do_ we tell the others?"

"They'll learn the truth when they're ready." He gracefully put a hand on her lower back while reaching out to her free arm. "Probably until we're off the planet and past the relay…so as to not get Jacob and Miranda killed?"

"Right. Good Idea."

She pressed into his touch with a soft sigh and nodded happily. "I'm still getting used to this…you being alive really hasn't settled in yet…" She sat down in his lap with another smile spread across her lips.

"Take your time, Ms. Zorah." Tali's effervescent eyes, giving leeway for her vibrant grin, flushed from beneath her glass as John said her name. "Take _all_ the time you need."

Her fingers glide along his jawline in awe. "I can't believe it…" Her voice was barely above a whisper. "…you're _back_ John…I seriously just don't know how to handle it..."

She gave the man another amorous embrace while straddling him on the warm colored sofa.

"And you _still_ owe me that promise." She hummed by his ear while spicing her tone with a little desire. "I _want_ that kiss."

_I want more than a kiss, John…but one thing at a time…_

"You say where and when, hun." John replied with a curt smile on his lips. "But for now, I can satisfy you with this…" He placed both of his hands along the flanks of her back and kissed her vocalizer.

Involuntarily, Tali pressed her own lips against the mask's interior while letting her arms hang over his shoulders. Her eyes close to imagine what his lips would feel like and more importantly, _taste_ like...

In time, she would. Oh yes, she _definitely_ would.

"Damnit John…what I would do If I could just kiss you now…" She placed her visor on his forehead in a soft sigh of satisfaction and slight disappointment.

"We will in time, Tali. I'm happy to wait."

"I'm not." She said while deciding to remove herself to sit next to John.

With a curious look, Shepard reached for Tali's pendant that dangled from her neck.

"I wish I gave this to you in person." He spoke quietly with a frown. "It kept me wondering of what you'd think of it." He laughed pathetically at himself for remembering. "I wanted to ask you out to dinner and all that crap before working up the courage to give it to you…it was such a tacky idea."

"_Well I like tacky_. Besides…we went out together for dinner _every_ time we docked for resupply back on the Normandy…" She replied confusingly. Every 'date' they had been on had been _extraordinary_…and the thought of Shepard actually 'asking her out' (as the humans called it), made her giddy with excitement. It was quite the disappointment to know John couldn't stare down the face of a masked Quarian and tell her he wanted her to be his _girlfriend_.

"There were so many opportunities you had!" She mocked with a relentless smile. "You were definitely scared. I'm so upset that you didn't have the _bawls_ to do it."

He ignored her comment by a way of shrugging. "Well…it _does_ look like a Pal'tec vis surden…" He mentioned while rubbing his back clumsily. "…I'm no Quarian, Tali…but that's important to your culture…like...'wow' important." He leaned forward before looking to her expectantly. "I sound like an idiot…" He shook his head when he remembered designing the thing on a late night in his quarters. He was so proud of himself until the _really_ stupid 'what if' questions starting toiling with his obsessive use of paranoia.

Eventually he yielded to the 'what-if-situations' he'd created and stuffed it into case under his bed. He decided it'd be better to give it to her after their campaign against Saren was done. And of course, he didn't forget the time Tali almost found it with her curious snooping right before Illos…

_Swell_ times…

"We can be mumbling idiots together." She grabbed for the necklace herself before giving off another sincere and lovely smile. "I look back and think of all those times we flirted with each other." She snorted at the silly memories they made together. "But it became something more than that, you know? …I always considered the idea that we were in our Hecs'tiyl…or our Pemla'tiyl during our campaign during Saren…but hearing you say this just _confirms_ it."

"Uhm…You're going to have to enlighten me on those words…? They don't, uh, exactly translate." John's crooked brow did most of the speaking for him.

"Right…Pemla'tyil….it's like the first stage in bonding with someone…it's the time when a couple learns each other through deep sharing of thoughts…it probably sounds weird to you...but hear me out." She explained with rapt interest at the concept of her Human actually experiencing a Quarian emotion.

She actually put a lot of thought on the matter when she had the free time to do aboard the Neema. It certainly was an excellent way to put her mood into something a little brighter for the day ahead of her…and finally getting to explain it (to _John_ no less) was nothing short of relieving.

"The second one is called Hecs'tiyl. It's where your partners need's come first to your own. I'd say we started feeling that when we got around to being stranded on Ullipses. Maybe even before that."

John could only smile at her thorough lecture. "I remember…You jumped in front of a god-be-damned collector beam to save my life."

"I have this Giant scar to prove it too. It's a _big_ circle." She pointed to her stomach while getting up for him to get a closer look at her covered belly. While he stared boggle eyed, she traced the circumference of the scar's size with an animated finger.

John's eyes widen in fear and found himself at a loss for words.

"…Seriously?"

"_Hell no_, John. I'm just joking. You know how uhglee that'd look?" She patiently patted his forearm to try and relieve the man's painful expression while sitting back down next to him.

She rolled her eyes and continued:

"Felz'tiyl is the latest phase of courtship…it's a pathway to our hearts…and signifies the time where the two realize…that they're incomplete without each other…" Her head had lowered to gaze at the ground. "You…died when I felt that…for two years John…I felt like I lost half of me. Like I was missing pieces of my heart…"

Her stature deflated a little bit as she fell down into the sea of memories she made herself. It was a stitched quilt of thoughts she wasn't particularly fond of…and it always made her trip onto its cold embrace whenever she mused over the past.

John shook her out of her seemingly distant trance.

"I'm here now…and I'm _not_ leaving. You see this?" He raised the pendant up to her face. "This was a promise. One I'm gonna keep. I have no intention of being with anyone other than you. Our time together has taught me a lot…and I know that I need you by my side at every turn we face. For better or worse."

"…I've waited _too_ long to hear that from you." Tali's placated sigh, accompanied by the kiss John gave to her veil, allowed her to wrap an arm around his. "Ahhh…But you have _no_ idea what you're getting into by bonding to a Quarian. I'll make it as easy as possible. Maybe later you'll really get to understand the whole concept. I just hope you won't get overwhelmed."

"You make it sound like it's going to be painful."

"It is. The ritual requires rusty blades if we marry outside orthodoxy." Tali's platitude did little to ease John's rather worried misunderstanding.

His voice comes through as a petrified mumble. "…wut?"

Tali giggled slightly at John's vexed and strained frowning muscles.

The dull headed John she so desperately loved didn't seem to catch the ill-made taunting she threw around (Which was definitely a habit she had picked up by Juel).

Before he could force her to elaborate on the matter, a voice called from outside the room.

"Hey! Sorry to be rude…? but we still have work to do?" Juel could be heard pounding on the outside of the door. "Commander! I hope to the ancestors I don't regret my decision for letting you see Tali!"

"Oh Juel…" Tali could only roll her eyes at the man's protective aggression.

"Who is he exactly? He told me he knows you really well." John asked while they both got up from the couch.

"He does...He helped me cope when you died… we got along so well because…he, uh, lost his own bondmate years ago."

"I see…" It occurred to John that most would never get the luck to have a second chance like he did with Tali.

"Come on…maybe we can properly introduce ourselves this time, hmm?" She placed both her hands together in mock professionalism before hugging him quickly once more. "You're going to have to anyways…since you _are_ coming with us." She elbowed John softly on the side before noticing the stains on his armor. "Oh…wow—did I really do that?" She picked at his armor inattentively to scrape away the dried gravy.

"Yeah…"

"I'll make it up to you. Maybe later you can let me clean it?"

"I don't have any spare clothes."

"Pity…" She gave him a good pat on the shoulder. "Guess you'll have to make due. Don't want our commander to smell like..." She sniffed at his armor. "…Mashed potatoes and buttered corn…"

"Tell you what. You clean my armor and I'll take you out to eat dinner at a special place. Your pick."

"As long as you handle the tab…and take me home to your place."

John could only laugh at Tali's strikingly sarcastic and half serious innuendo. "It's good to be back, Tali."

"Yes John. It's good to have you back."

* * *

><p>"Nothing. Twelve Mechs and nothing…" Jacob watched the Quarian squad leader step out of the building's foyer in frustration. He couldn't blame him. They've only searched a half of a square kilometer and spent nearly two hours chasing echo trails and bouncing transmissions. Whoever this 'Veetor' kid was, he was good at covering his tracks.<p>

"Okay, people. Regroup. We start in the next house. Same procedure. Stack up."

"All call-signs, all call-signs…this is first-actual…Prioritize this message…over."

"This is first squad…go for message…over."

"We're going to have to find a new avenue of approach…we don't have time to search the whole city. We've got our techs setting up our cybernetic suite to start triangulating the Mechs' Broadcast origin. We'll update your parameter shortly. Out."

Olasie nodded before sitting down on a nearby flight of stairs that led to a porch.

"Set up a perimeter. Stay vigilant, Marines." She motioned to her team while ushering for the black human next to her.

"Hi." Jacob announced while swiping away the snow with a boot before sitting down himself.

"Hello." Olasie replied respectfully. "How fares your end of the search?"

"Haven't found anything worth reporting to the uppers. So far? Your guess is as good as mine. These people disappeared…and we still haven't figured out why." He shrugged. "If all goes right, we'll find a server room and see if we can't find some surveillance footage." His breath blew forth from his large nostrils in a giant heap.

The Quarian next to him, who observed the visible breath that rose from his lips with an interested eye, pat her knees quietly until his hot life finally retroceded up along the bruised sky. "I'm damn tired, Jacob'Taylor. Sleeping was impossible on our trip here. The beds looked hard to pass up." Her head tilted toward the general direction of where they had recently searched.

"Take 'em. I doubt they'll ever be used again." Jacob mused in a 'not-so-humorous' joke while thumbing the building behind them.

"Yeah…" She glanced over her shoulder as if she were actually considering the idea. "Heh. What's that human-speak? One man's slut is another man's treasure?"

Jacob tried to point out and mollify the terrible mistake she made with the term but was rudely interrupted by their com.

"All Call-signs, this is first actual...The Cybernetic suite did its job. Found a good place to start looking…Heading: One kilometer East of your current position: Grid: five, three, four, one, six, seven, nine, one…Our recon drone is malfunctioning so I want you guys to bound up to designated check-points and report your arrival…how copy?"

"Copy, one-actual. We're on our way to the designated markers."

* * *

><p>"Yes, Juel. He's is definitely John'Shepard." She looked up to John's eyes while placing a hefty piece of her weight along his arm. "I'd like to formally introduce you, Juel…which is better than pointing guns as a way of greeting, mm?"<p>

"I'm well aware." Juel countered apathetically while shaking Shepard's hand. "Sorry again for pointing my gun at your head. I usually do it to crazies."

John's cumbersome laugh followed soon after with another hidden grimace at the non-joke Juel spit out from his vocalizer. "You always this pragmatic?" John managed to ask aloud to end the shake.

"Yes. He is. And he's an asshole. But we're used to it." Tali shrugged while patting a disappointed Juel on his shoulder.

"I'm just giving you shit, Commander." He said between glaring at Tali. "But it's true…I've '_apparently'_ earned a reputation from my compatriots as being very…how do Human's say it, Tali? Down to rock."

"Down to Earth." Tali coughed.

"Whatever." His hand waved figuratively before folding his arms across his chest to stave off the indifference he usually felt with talking to newcomers. (Be it Commander Shepard or not.)

"I hope we can put it all behind us. The screaming, yelling, and gun pointing. Yeah?"

"Yes." Juel nodded while ushering for them to all start walking down the hallway to get caught up on the current news of the operation. "Right now Prazza has the search party heading toward a grid marker. They set up the cyber suite and triangulated the signal broadcasting to the Mechs. It'll help point us in the right direction in finding Veetor."

"Why didn't they just use it in the first place?" Tali asked.

"Eh…Prazza didn't even know we had one with us until they opened up one of the bags we brought." He shrugged.

"Sounds good. Maybe we should get out there and help." John offered while carefully rotating his shoulder cuff to help relax his aching shoulder. "I need to go out anyways to find out what the hell happened to this place."

And so John and Tali, who were followed by Juel and Miranda, disembarked and began making their way toward the search party's location. Small talk ensued between the four and John learned more about Juel and some of the things that had happened over the two years of his absence. Tali had noticed John was frowning for the walk's duration. Likely because he was coping with the idea (And being reminded _again_) that he was gone for two years. Or maybe he was worried because she kept glaring at the Miranda woman walking next to her.

When they met back up with Olasie's search party, they exchanged pleasantries and began moving again. The trot lasted for another fifteen minutes until they came across another wall with a massive door blocking their path.

"Search party to one-actual, we've reached marker seven...but marker eight is blocked by a large wall…please advise…over."

"Copy party, we're working on a solution…is vaulting over the wall an option?"

"Negative, one…" Olasie took a moment to look at the large overhang suspended above them. "There's a large part that overhangs the top here."

"Okay…we'll find you an alternative route on our map. Stand-by." When Prazza finished his sentence, the doors before them started to open.

"Belay that…Belay that. Doors are opening." Olasie ushered for her men to take cover.

The doors opened until it could berth one man.

Weapon safeties, many of them clicking like a ramble of staccatos, flick off. The group, as a whole, deliberately rose their weapons toward the opening.

As soon as they did, their weapons fell back into a state of rest when a shaky Quarian, armed with an old human pump-action shotgun, cried out: "Who's…who's there! I'm armed!"

"Veetor?" Olasie breathed. "Veetor, it's us…it's me. Olasie…back on the Neema."

Veetor's gun lowered carefully until the barrel pointed toward the ground. "Olasie? Is it…? Ancestors…why are you all here?"

"To get you out of here…we got your distress call before it went out…I have a whole detachment here to rescue you and bring you back home…"

Veetor put his shotgun down against the concrete wall and let out a long sigh of relief.

"Damn is it good to see you guys again…I didn't think I was getting out of here alive…"

"What happened here, Veetor? What happened to everyone?" Olasie waved her hand out to show the empty urban landscape.

"Taken…" He answered between sucks of breath. It seemed the pilgrim hadn't slept in days. "Taken by these aliens…"

"Aliens?" Tali and Shepard look to each other while the conversation continued... "What kind Veetor?"

"I…I don't know…they looked…like…Collectors I think…"

John's looked as if he'd just got done watching his arm being flayed alive in front of him.

Tali wasn't far behind.

She'd looked as if she were looking between the jaws of a hungry Varren sizing her tasty (and rather glassy) head.

Simultaneously, their eyes squeeze shut to starve the fear that suddenly filled their bellies.

"John…?" She hissed between a petrified breath. "I don't suppose you had your own idea of what happened here…do you?"

"Yeah…I was hoping to God I'd be wrong…" His icy glare didn't match too well with his tight-lipped frown. "…guess I wasn't."

Ordinarily, Tali would nod and agree with him. But this time she felt a cold center in her heart ever since she heard the word 'Collector' fall from Veetor's mouth. She couldn't bring herself to really reply nor answer the man she loved in front of her. Instead of emulating the way she usually did with words, she took a step closer to him to try and release the chords of tension that were strung by their fear of the Collectors.

The snow started falling a little heavier when John growled at himself angrily…low enough for no one to hear.

"What did they look like, Veetor?" Olasie motioned for Veetor to take a rest. He gladly denied. The idea of rest to him was reserved for when he got the hell off this planet.

"Brown cartilaginous skin…" He mumbled worriedly. He imitated their stature nervously with his hands. "Four glowing yellow eyes…big heads…" He ushered for the entire group to follow him. "…We need to _get_ out of here…" He looked to the three humans next to Tali.

"I have to ask…you're Human…How come they didn't find you? …where did you hide?"

"We're not survivors. We just got here…" Miranda answered in a quick attempt to get to her point. "Would you have any evidence to support your accusations?"

"Yes…lots." He nodded erratically while stepping up to a building. "Surveillance…recordings…I studied them…lots of readings…electromagnetic…dark energy…" Veetor brought up his Omni-tool and entered a room bathed in red light.

John was quick to give the room's nightmarish gleam an acrid looking glance before muttering something to Tali's ear.

"This whole place feels wrong."

She gave him a worried stare and nodded.

Olasie tuned into her com unit.

"Actual…this is Search party one...We have the objective, break. Condition 1. He's ready and mobile." She looked to her team and motioned for them to form a line to start moving back. "We're getting his stuff and coming back to you."

"That's excellent news, Search party. We'll start packing. Meet you back at the site, over."

"Copy one. Out."

"Veetor, grab your stuff, hand the humans the evidence they need, and get moving." Olasie, along with several others, looked to the screen that showed an ample amount of horrific images they wished they hadn't seen.

The group files out of the room, one by one, until only Veetor, John, and Tali were left.

"Just another minute, sir…I've almost got it for you…" His fingers pry a small OSD out from his desktop computer. "Here…" He dropped the disk into John's palm.

The Commander gave his empty thanks and continued staring at the display and the recordings on it.

"So that's how they did it…" He muttered darkly. Small flying drones milled about haphazardly while their larger companions worked on settling the prostrated humans in pods analogous to the ones John and his team had once been in back on Ullipses.

"Did what?" Veetor mumbled back while he stuffed some of his possessions into a duffel bag. Tali couldn't peel her gaze away from the footage either.

"The Collector's took us a while back when I was stranded with Tali on Ullipses…" He mentioned Tali with a hand. "Didn't know how they managed to take us into their ship…Guess that's how they did it."

The hairs on Shepard's back stiffen from the rigid and terrifying memory. Veetor didn't bother to reply, the zipper answered John instead.

"I'm ready, sir…to get out of here…"

"Not many could go through what you did and come out sane, Veetor. It's good to see you're still in one piece." John gently put an arm on his shoulder and shook it. "You've done us proud. Thank you."

"Thank you, sir."

Veetor took some hesitant steps out before looking back into his domain. He was glad to feel he didn't grow some sort of useless attachment to this humble dwelling. The monstrosities and nightmarish trauma he'd experienced just days before had made any good memory of Freedom's progress perish in a blazing sea of psychiatric agony. It wasn't even a dwelling really…just some utility hub he happened to be near when the Collector's attacked. Hours had passed when the screaming and buzzing finally ceased. When he thought it was clear to come out, he ran to a nearby house that belonged to Ol' uncle Gregg (as the man called himself), picked up a few of the human's things, including the shotgun the gruff, beer bellied man owned, and came sprinting back. He didn't even realize where he was for the first two days. He sat in a petrified heap the entire duration while straddling the action of the old pathetic (and probably useless) shotgun.

When he realized he was at a security center, he began piecing together footage of the invasion while finding a way to activate the security mechs. Only then, after another day, did he find it 'safe' enough to leave to his real home. He'd grabbed his foodstuffs, activated his distress beacon, and ran back in a hurried fit to get back to safety that the communication center provided. He waited for so long, he had given up hope of ever getting off the planet…

He was glad to know he was wrong.

He'd _kiss_ Olasie if it made him feel any better.

"Where exactly did you guys land?" John asked to Tali while turning off the large sets of monitors in front of them.

"On the skirts of the city…it'll be about an hour walk from where we're at."

"Yeah?" He nodded while looking at the frame of a key holder. "We can cut that time in half with this."

He took one of the key fobs and gave it a little jiggle. "I saw the truck right outside the garage."

"Good idea."

They both walk out and eagerly close the door behind them. When they look over the mighty beast of a vehicle that John had pointed out, Tali smiled. She was happy to know they'd be getting a nice comfortable ride back to their ship.

With John, no less.

"What did Veetor give you?" Miranda inquired while looking at the set of keys John held in his grip.

"Evidence for the Illusive man." He happily relieved himself of the OSD. "Come on. We can all ride back in the truck." He waved the keys in front of her face for effect. She shrugged before calling Jacob to help John.

When everything was settled, everyone settled up onto the truck's large bed to be taxied over to their temporary base.

* * *

><p>"Mmm. It's good to see we're all getting along." Prazza motioned with both his hands to show how pleased he was with the turn out. "Best Op we've had in a while." He nodded several times to himself before shouting out orders. "Let's go, people! Get everything loaded onto the truck. Let's move!"<p>

Prazza gave a nod of thanks for the truck while waving over some others near him to help disassemble the cyber suite near the middle of the room.

John gave the platoon sergeant a curt nod before sitting heavily onto a sofa. His left, which was flanked by Tali, also held both his subordinates, Miranda and Jacob, who conversed out of earshot of them both.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Tali whispered.

"You don't know? I thought your helmet has speech amplifiers."

She shrugged while pointing at where her ears would be. "Too far away, you bosh'tet. And have you noticed how loud it is around here?"

"I suppose." He mumbled while taking a satisfying swig from his water bottle he had taken out of the fridge in the kitchen just down the hallway.

She watched him drink until he was finished. "Let's help the others, John?"

"Yeah. We should." He downed the rest in a little gulp and placed it on the nightstand to his right.

"How are you going to tell them you're not coming with them?" They picked up a set of duffel bags and started walking slowly toward the exit.

"I'm not going to say anything." He smiled darkly at leaving them hanging like that.

A little immature…but it would have to do.

She smiled and said: "I like the way you think."

They both hand the duffel bags to a Quarian on top of the truck's bed.

"So that's it then?" She asked John while they walked back inside for another load.

"That's it."

"Good." When they walk back in, John murmured to Tali to keep helping the others while he checked on the two Cerberus operatives mingling about.

"Miranda…Jacob." He called out while motioning for them to follow. He had a plan of motion he wanted to enact to ensure he could get away from these people successfully and without incident.

"Commander."

He led them to a den and asked for one of them to sit down at a well accommodated desk lined with a long grid of decorated medals and antiques of Alliance military history.

John let a brief sigh pass his lips. If with any luck, this man put up some sort of fight before they got to him. But it was doubtful. Nothing indicated any kind of struggle.

If it were anyone's guess, the house looked as if the whole family was out for dinner getting pizza.

"Miranda…I want you to start piecing together the information held on that disk. I want to make sure we have the right stuff we need before we leave. If we have to, we'll double back to Veetor's safe-room and find what we need."

She nodded quickly in agreement. Honestly, she couldn't wait to get her hands on the possible intricacies held within Veetor's OSD. The wealth of knowledge the Quarian could have interpreted made her lips purse with excitement. Ordinarily, she wouldn't see, much less _glimpse_, at such a great find. Not that the Illusive man forbid it; quite the opposite really. She usually just let her subordinates do the knowledge lifting with information like this. That and she was usually needed elsewhere…planning operations and what not.

Then she frowned.

So this is what it felt like to be ordered around then…

To actually do the menial work associated with something bigger than just her.

It was like some kind of torch that was passed to the Commander instead of her.

It felt like being played…even if it was just a little bit.

Being a little upset at her giddiness was somewhat of a disappointment, now. She always knew she was an asset…but not on _this_ kind of level. Her fingers, agitatedly, pressed the keys on the keyboard a little harder than she needed to.

"Right away." She murmured half-heartedly without stealing a glance at Shepard.

"I'll be back, then. I'm going to talk to Tali one last time…Make sure no one sees what you're doing, hm?"

"Got it, Shepard." She chided quite silently while nodding to the man.

"Good. Jacob. Keep an eye on her, will you?"

"Of course."

Seemingly satisfied with what his operatives were doing, he left while closing the door at the end of the hallway.

"I know that look, Miri."

She sighed contemptuously. As much as she loved Jacob, she hated how he brought up these kinds of things. For a brief second, it reminded her of when she thought of how detrimental a relationship would be with her work.

How wrong she was.

"I'm not used to this." She looked at the mouse awkwardly before slipping her hand over it to guide the cursor onto the icon she needed to press.

"Not used to a mouse?" He rolled his eyes. "Two things. People still love to use old tech. Folks out here like to stick to things they know and remember." He leaned in and put a cusped hand over her shoulder. "Which brings me to think that you're not really liking this new position of following the Commander around."

"Oh, shut-up, Jacob."

"I love you, hun." He said by way of rubbing her back as she waited for the information to load on the computer.

"I love you too, you bastard."

* * *

><p>"Everyone aboard?" Several Quarians nod happily when they feel the truck's engine growling with primitive life under their feet.<p>

"Good. Let's get out of here." He slowly accelerated out into the street and made headway toward the direction Prazza and Tali pointed out to him.

"How did you get them to stay in the house?" Tali asked to John. He gave a guilty half-smile before saying:

"I'll tell you later? I feel a little bad leaving 'em hanging like that."

"You shouldn't."

"I know." He shrugged while he unknowingly put his blinker on to go left. "Question. Most of the city's power grid is down…how are we going to get through?"

"Through what?" Tali asked.

"Through the gate? I mean, there's a wall around the whole city right?"

Tali, if lack of better word, face-palmed. She turned around let her face poke out of the back window to get a view of Prazza.

"Prazza…the power grid is still down? How are we going to get passed it with the truck?"

"Not to worry. When you were chatting with the Commander, Veetor helped restore power to some of the city's functions…namely our exit." He nodded while turning back to look at Olasie sitting next to him.

"You'd think someone would have mentioned that earlier if it was a problem, Tali." Juel added with a prodding chortle.

She breathed out a sigh of relief and ignored Juel.

It was good to know they wouldn't have to walk anymore.

"Good. You hear that, John? We're okay. Just keep driving." She laid further back in the passenger seat and let loose a long sigh of satisfaction. Her head lolled against the slight bumps in the ride while watching John focus on driving the vehicle. Her dreamy eyes watched reverently at the surreal sight.

_John. He was back…_

_He's sitting right next to me. _

_Like…really. No joke. _

Eventually, they passed through the city's large walled gate and made their way toward the landing zone.

She snuck a hand onto his lap and gave off a smile that could shine brighter than a thousand suns. He yielded to her small embrace by putting a palm over hers and squeezing three times.

Soon enough, they arrived to the ship and parked the vehicle close enough to start unpacking their gear and the salvage they brought aboard. When they finished with that, they took a quick roll call and started boarding the ship for a very speedy departure.

"You ready John?" She asked at the ship's door.

"For the adventure of a second lifetime? Hell yeah I am." He reached for her outstretched arm and helped himself aboard. He stole himself one last look at the city's outstretched horizon. Thirty minutes had passed when he heard the Quarian ship's rheostats engage. He couldn't help but wonder when those two sad saps would realize he was gone…

Something also told him it wouldn't be the last time he would see either of them.

"Let's get out of here, hun." He pat her back gently while walking up the ship's catwalk into the cargo hold where many of the others started strapping themselves in.

"The adventure of a lifetime, you say?" Tali began with a little hint of sarcasm. "We've had one…the one with all those Geth and Krogan? You know…Saren? Reapers?"

"Ready to start another?" The drowning noise of the Eezo core started to quiver the ships' cabin.

She chewed on the idea for a couple moments before giving him an answer.

"Happily, John. Let's try not to get such a shit ending, hmm?"

"Duly noted, hun."

They pick an empty row of seats away from the large crowd of marines.

Out of the corner of Tali's eyes, she could see Juel giving off a single nod with a thumbs-up sign she taught him months ago.

She returned the gesture.

John, meanwhile, as he reflected upon the recent events of the day, brought up a personal log to record what happened. He frowned slightly when he gnawed on the possible repercussions that lay ahead of him from his few and very select choices.

When said ramifications of his actions would be in full swing, he would want to be as far away from them as possible. He would achieve the means of preventing the Reapers' return on his own terms. Not the devil's.

But those problems, to him, at this very moment, mattered little.

He had his life, and more importantly, Tali back.

"Guess that means I'll be meeting your dad." He gulped as he suddenly thought of Tali's Father. "Admiral Zorah…" He gave Tali's clan name a heroic tone. "Think it'll end badly?"

"Eh…we'll see." She put a comforting hand over his to help relieve his ever so troubled mind.

Tali could feel the ship's legs reclining off the ground back into its body. They were airborne.

"You'll love it on the Neema, John. You'll be just like us. Suit and all."

"Great."

* * *

><p>Jacob and Miranda watched the Quarian ship ascend up toward the stratosphere and beyond.<p>

"Ouch…" Jacob muttered finally after they gawked at the upsetting sight. "Talk about some serious rejection…"

"Rejection, Jacob? Rejection!? We just watched a multi-billion dollar project leave in front of us!" She paced in an erratic manner while conjuring up a rant. "I gave him a smile…and everything! Helped him try to get back with that god-be-damned bloody Quarian!" She growled angrily.

Jacob continued to search across the dark sky as if he could still see the long gone ship.

"Smiles? A smile, Miranda, wasn't going to win him over…" He put a pause between his words. "It's way more than what you'd usually give me." He joked delicately despite the rather disappointing outcome of what happened.

Her daggered eyes tried to cut the back of his head but failed miserably. "We fell for it. We fell for the oldest bloody joke in the book."

"Yeah…we did…what the hell are we going to tell the Illusive man?"

"The truth." She traced the trails of smoke the ship left in the sky.

"Be happy he didn't leave with the evidence too." He placed his hands on his hips and messed with the rocks under his boots.

"As fortunate as that is…" She coddled her ego and groaned inside. "…we still have a job to do."

"Tim's going to be pissed."

"An understatement of the century, Jacob." She paused and started walking back to their Kodiak. "A god-damned understatement of the century…Bloody Hell…_Bloody_. _Hell_."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

Well. I hope you like the turn of events that occurred!

I took out the large mechs. I never understood why a Colony would have huge bulking tanks with a mini-gun and rocket launcher. I mean, sure, one could argue that it would be for defense against pirates...but that's some serious overkill. If it were an invasion the colonists living there wouldn't purchase and operate weaponry that could cause massive amounts of collateral damage. You'd want something more precise...like SAM missiles or a local militia.

That was just something I wanted to mention.

But of course, I understand why they were in the actual game though. It was really a gameplay decision, not a story one.

Now! To those questions I'd like for you guys to answer: (You guys don't have to answer all of them, or in any particular order. just FYI.)

**1.)** What do you think of the Character Juel (Tali's friend)? Thoughts? Concerns?

**2.)** You like Prazza better this time around? Yes? No?

**3.)** You guys actually like the turn out of what happened? Do you like the fact that John left with Tali?

**4.)** What would you all like to see in the next chapter?

Thank you!


	37. Over the Phone Reunion

A/N: Enjoy friends. It's just going to get better and better. ;)

Boy did I get a lot of replies and reviews last chapter! Thank you for answering my questions! THANK YOU!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 17<strong>

**|Present time.|**

**|DATE: 1-24-2185|**

**|Location: Crescent Nebula/Tasale System/Illium/Vista Cova/**Sky Scraper:'Nos Falls'/**Trinity Suites: Haven Plaza/Floor 82 of 96|**

* * *

><p>"This is the Shepards' residence. How can I help?"<p>

The air around John, petrified with anxiety, hung silently over the phone. "Dad…?"

The voice of John Shepard was _unmistakable_.

"Who the _**HELL**_ is this? Is this some kind of _**sick**_ joke?"

"Dad—"

"Who the _hell_ do you think you are?"

"_Stop_—"

"I'm going to find _you_, _you son of a bitch._"

"It's me-It's _**ME**_—_It's Me, Dad. It's me._"

A shallow breath filters through the phone. "…John? Son?"

John felt a three fingered hand rest lightly onto his shoulder. He gave Tali a long sideways glance and suddenly remembered, from his library of memories, how lively and animated those glowing silvery orbs were behind her mauve colored glass.

She conveyed her feelings through them. Spoke with them. John Shepard could feel the alluring quality of what her eyes were capable of alone.

So when her vibrant orbs, glowing behind her delicately pressed sheet of silky purple, dimmed as she gave John her convection of love and sympathy, he died a little inside.

Her beauty, known _only_ by John (As far as he was concerned), was trapped and shackled by a crippled immunity. It forced her into a casket to be locked away from those around her forever.

John hoped in the coming days he could change that. Someday in the future, he mused.

He could see her brows emoting in a sign of worry and understanding.

It captivated John… Her eyes were quantified to an exponent of beauty unworthy of trying to figure.

But it wasn't just her eyes.

He'd seen her face before.

The most beautiful_ damned_ goddess he'd witnessed in his life. John didn't think it really occurred to her on how strikingly beautiful she actually was.

Of course, she (or at least he suspected) used it to her advantage to lull him into stupidity when they were stranded on Ullipses. Or at least that's how he saw it. _Not that he minded, of course._

He sighed mentally.

That was a _long_ time ago.

He wanted to see her without it again. Desperately. Soon, he concluded. Soon.

He willed himself back into focus and answered his father.

"Yes. It's me, dad. It's me. Where's mom?"

"She's… she's on tour. Never mind that. _Where_ are you? _What_ are you doing? We thought you… _we thought you were dead_."

"I know… and it's complicated. Something we need to get caught up on… and not something we can discuss over the phone."

His father's breath is heavy and ragged. "God, damnit son…it's so good to hear your voice…I've missed you _so_ much. You're mother…she's…she's missed you too…" He stressed his words with a shrill sigh. The man took a few deep breaths and composed himself a little more, "Listen to me. I know your line of work is keeping you busy…and it probably explains why you've been gone for so long… but… but you come back and see us. You hear? You come here and see your mother."

"You got it, dad. I will. I'll be there as soon as I can… but I have a favor to ask."

"_Anything_, John. We owe it to you."

"I need my money back…"

"Done… I'll get it back to you. We haven't touched it since you died. Hell…" He put a small frail laugh between his words, "We were debating on giving it to charity… or donating it into the Alliance biotic thing… Grissom academy or something…"

"Well…" He gave Tali a small smile and looked out upon the busied landscape, "I'm kind of glad you didn't. Just whenever you can, dad. My friend is going to text you her routing code. Her name's Tali. You remember me mentioning her, don't you? Back on the Normandy?"

"Of course! That little rascal quarian you've babbled about over the phone all the time! I'll be waiting son… Don't take too long to call back, you hear? Once I tell your mother, she'll be worried _sick_."

"I will dad. Make sure you tell her I said hi and that I love you both. Tell grandpa and grandma too."

"Will do. Will do… Take care, son. I love you. And I'm proud of you."

John hung the phone back onto its receiver and leaned into a pillar. "It was good to hear him, Tali. Wow." He urged for her, with a willing hand, to give him a sideways hug.

"That's good. How's the weight on your shoulders feel now?"

"Lighter, now that I've talked to my dad. Wow… it feels good." He gave off his brightest smile and, naturally, nuzzled Tali's veil with his nose.

"But if feels even better to have you along for the ride, hun." His arm, which was draped around her petite waist, squeezed to put more '_oomph_' to his words.

They were on Illium (Of all places of course). Some city called_ Vista Cova_. The sky was brilliant, and the skyscrapers did well to compliment the sun's milky colors setting along the mountainous horizon.

Both Tali and John stood near the top of a luxury scraper, where its rooms housed hundreds of plazas and stores. They move slowly amongst the well-spaced shoppers from the plaza's center to the building's overhang to get a great bird's eye view of the city below.

"Nice place, isn't it?" John murmured aloud with a pursed grin.

Her eyes, drenched with the details of which lay below and above, finally peel away to John. "It's quite the view, yes."

"How's Prazza and his marines?"

"Sticking together and making their way to the closest dextro-bar their filters could find."

"What about Veetor and Juel?" He asked.

"Getting a drink with them." She smiled and thought it good of Veetor getting a fresh breath of air.

"So we get to stay in this paradise for a whole day, huh? I'm surprised your uppers let you do this."

She turned around and let her arms dangle onto the silky bars that border the large edge. "They treat their marines well, huneey." Her arm hooked around his.

"Oh… I almost forgot. Could you text your routing number to my dad? I really need that money to run some errands."

"That's right. Here, I'll send it now." While keeping her arm around his, she typed through her Omni-tool.

"Good… I'll need to get some things like food... change of underwear… maybe a nice Exo-suit just like yours for when I'm on the Neema…"

She sent the text message and gave the man a curious smile. "That'd be a really good idea..."

He copied her relaxed posture and nudged her shoulder jokingly. "You can actually pretend to be dating a quarian."

"…As opposed to dating some human who happened to save the whole damned galaxy while taking his quarian counterpart with him along the way? I think I'll keep my human."

"I love you." His head shook and his smile grew, "Jesus I'm hungry… hadn't had anything to eat since leaving Lazarus."

Tali was a _reasonably (She liked to stress that part)_ composed woman. She spoke her mind when she was asked or when she felt it necessary. She wasn't afraid of a lot of things either. A good example would be social norms… or some of the basic principles of human or quarian chivalry. Sure, some of them were important. Being shy sometimes lurked somewhere with her list of embarrassing quirks. Being mad at one person for too long was something she'd go to great lengths to avoid. Nor did she find it compelling to place a grudge on any particular person. It'd consume you... eat you alive and shut you out without release.

But there _was_ an exception.

A _very_ _**big**_ one.

Liara.

A grudge wouldn't even really begin to explain the _enormity_ of _hate_ she suddenly had welling in her heart. Sure, the euphoric surprise of having John back did douse some of the burning and oily flames… but _only_ a little.

_Liara_.

A satisfying thought of placing her six chubby fingers around that blue bitch's neck felt _amazing_. Maybe even a good swing at her stupid _smug_ face. The left cheek in particular where her eyebrow always seemed to curl in some weird direction.

Tali had to keep herself from sneering at the _little blue shit_.

Her head turned sharply to the man. "_What_?"

"…I… want something to eat?"

"You came from the _**Lazarus**_ Station? Were you part of something called the _Lazarus_ project?"

Her lips trembled at how her tongue curled at saying 'Lazarus'.

Two _fucking_ years of guessing what that one _stupid_ word was.

Two _heart_ _grinding_ years of wondering what it all _really_ meant.

_Two years_ of trying to figure out the elusive meaning behind a simple seven letter, three syllable word.

_Lazarus_.

Anything worse than Lazarus would be the five letter, six syllable word.

_Liara T'Soni_.

"Yes…? How… how did you know?" He took one small pace backward as if he were trying to distance himself from her. Tali saw the gesture and reeled at his reaction. It was an absent motion John displayed… but it might as well have been a _giant_ chasm between them _now_.

"That blue _bastard_ son of a _bitch_!"

"Tali! What are you talking about?" He seized both her shoulders in a tight grip and tried to shake her out of the maddening reverie.

"Liara knew about this the _entire_ time…?" She lulled with a hissing mutter as she shook her head vigorously, "That damned _bitch_ kept you away from me…" Her voice spoke in an angry whisper. Her mumbling words became trembling breaths of air. "Why? _Why would she do that?_"

"Liara was involved? How?" He finally let go of her.

"I don't know, John…" She swallowed hard, "…but _we're going to find out_."

"The food can wait. Let's just sit down." He grabbed for her hand and walked her over to a nearby table, "Tell me what you know."

The café they sat outside from spit soft electric music from its speakers. Tali would have enjoyed the modern tunes, had she not been so entirely focused on Liara's _unforgiving_ betrayal.

"Start from the beginning Tali." He said as they both take seats outside the '_SouthStar'_ café.

Tali took a deep breath, collected her thoughts with two ruffled imaginary hands, and began. She explained how she received a message from Liara a couple months after Shepard's death with a message containing some kind of clue with the word '_Lazarus'_ in it. Tali also described in the following months afterward, she tried to find some meaning behind the bizarre clue. Eventually Tali got to the part where they met on the Citadel. Tali's animated story replays the memory of Liara's meld (which she left certain parts out because of the embarrassing naked part). Tali added with a groaning sigh that Liara only further eluded Tali with what 'Lazarus' had all meant. Then she got around to telling him that she suspected it involved him, but couldn't have been sure. She also had a nagging suspicion Garrus, to some extent, was involved in the mystery too.

"And then you and I met on Freedom's progress…" She concluded at last. They sat in silence for a minute and chewed over the likely scenarios.

The quarian threw her hands up in the air before hissing outwardly. "_Why_ would she do this to me? She _must've_ known I would have found out later!" Her elbows, now propped up along the tabletop, rest her head frustratingly.

"We can't be sure of anything until we actually talk to her."

"I _know_ what she did. She left me in the smoke. Kept me _out _of the circle." She pointedly remarked with a small growl.

"Have you considered that maybe she did it to protect you?"

"Protect me? Protect me." She scoffed, "John… from what? Cerberus assassins who find out I got in on their little secret?"

"Think harder... she could have been doing it do save you emotionally...?"

"Do you know how relieved I would have been, knowing you'd be coming back? I would have been there since _**Day. One. **__to help_." Her index finger simultaneously rapped the table for every word she spit from her lips.

"From Cerberus?"

She hesitated slightly as she let the ethically inept idea chew through her moral compass. "Yes. From Cerberus if I had to." Her glare narrowed into daggered slits, "_She's going to pay_, John."

John head dipped slowly and hoped the brewing shit-storm with these two women would pass with time… Some way to relieve this dense pressure amicably; and not through some biotic smashing, hacking frenzy, fist-fight. If one thing was for sure, Tali would at least get two good blows to Liara's blue face before being thrown across the room. He'd give Liara that. She was a great biotic. But it wouldn't really matter. An enraged quarian with a very apt knowledge of biotic amps might as well be the hulk on fucking steroids potent enough to kill a blue-whale.

Liara would _lose_ that fight in the long run. Hands down.

Jesus Christ.

"Hun. Calm down." He got up from his chair and sat down right next to her. When he put a hand on her arm, he could feel the anxiety radiating from her deltoid and bicep.

"I'm right here, Tali. And I want you to hold it together."

"I'm trying."

"Good."

When he pat her on the back, she got a reply from John's father. Tali took a look and read the message aloud. "It's ready for you, son. Be safe. Talk to us soon. -dad"

"Good. Let's eat. I'll pay."

Her eyes remain fixed on the table as she garnered enough will to reply.

"I could really go for a drink... think they got any Turian liquor here?" Tali sulked by muttering to John.

"I wasn't aware you were into such hard liquors." He offered his hand to get her up from her seat and into the sit-down restaurant.

"I need something to celebrate with." She countered with a meager smirk before accepting the hand.

"It's a sit-down café, Tali." He gave his quarian a thin-lipped smile, "How about this. We eat here, go get some of the stuff I need, and get a drink. A good one. Wine… yeah? Then we'll retire for the night at a nice hotel. Somewhere friendly. _Q__uarian_ friendly."

She convinced herself to bury the vice of fire against Liara for now. Right now, she had John, and a whole day to release herself of responsibility.

She nodded several times when he spoke and let out a sigh of release.

"You're right. We've got a whole night to spend. Just _you_ and _me_."

"Damn straight." When he pat her roughly on the shoulder, her smile grew, "Holy shit… They got pho here. You know how good that is?" He pointed to the menu right outside the café's door.

She let her eyes look over the picture of soup John had pointed out on the menu. "Noodles in a giant bowl of broth… spiced with… seelahnntro? Beef, chilli sauce, and bean sprouts. Veeitnuhmeese origin…" She stared blankly at the picture for another moment, "They look like worms."

He put on a chuckle as she read the description. "It's delicious."

"Worms."

"Worms or not, I'm getting it." He opened the door, and with a little chivalry, let Tali through.

"Thank you."

"You're very welcome, Ms. Zorah." They walked past the lobby's empty podium to a booth and took their seats. Tali, emptily, engaged her toes to a steady beat over John's feet while they waited for a waitress to get them started with something to drink.

Some habits did indeed die hard. Tali quirks were _just_ as John remembered. The past two years had changed _absolutely_ nothing. He smiled at her usual routine of inspecting or messing with some of the objects included on the table's center piece. When she finally got bored with the spice shakers and sauce packets, she'd usually move on to the Dextro menu to browse through their 'purified' selections.

"Anything good, hun?" John asked her before placing an affectionate hand over hers.

"Uhm… yeah… wow. This looks good. Here: Look." Her finger hovers over the laminated picture.

"Get it, then." He grinned while looking at the mighty morsel of meat sitting on a plate in the picture.

"I will…" She whispered.

John started to read the description of the food himself loud enough for her to hear. "A… sahmyahgh steak… boiled and tenderized in… sweet elilmehg… is simmered to perfection in this victorian style dish…"

His tongue had trouble pronouncing the difficult words.

She giggled at his unwieldy pronounciation. "They're animals raised fresh from the fields of Caravehere, native only to some Turian colony… I forget which." She added, "Other quarian's I've talked to said it tastes _amazing_…" Her tongue felt heavy and her mouth watered. "I can't wait…"

They ordered their food and waited. When it finally came, John busily separated his pair of chopsticks before dipping in his desired sauces. Tali, herself, ate her scrumptious meal through her induction port with a happy smile on her face while she chewed on the delicacy.

"How are your worms?" She asked between a mighty morsel of steak.

"Delicious, thank you." He slurped the noodles and let out a sigh of satisfaction.

The last time he had a real sit down meal had been… well… two years.

John had to keep reminding his internal clock that Ullipses didn't happen a couple months ago.

"How about your food? How's it taste?"

"Oh my ancestors, John. I wish I could share."

"I'd probably die." He pointed out with a grin.

"It'd be worth it." She said with a swallow.

"Tell me something Tali." He opted to switch to his spoon to sip on some of the spiced broth.

"Mm?"

"Where'd you get that suit? My god… it just looks _so_ good on you. I would have said it sooner, but I wanted to wait 'till we were alone."

Her hands immediately went to the frill of her veil. "You like it? My Aunt gave this to me as a gift. She's like a surrogate mother to me." She snorted as she flattened her clothes to try and enhance the suit's snug features.

"Although I don't get to see that thigh gap anymore… damn shame. _Dem'_ Hips, Tali." His smile, smeared from cheek to cheek, grew.

She rolled her eyes at the joke. "All quarian women have thigh gaps. It's considered _very_ attractive."

"_I'll agree with that_. I guess it leaves more to the imagination anyways." He shrugged.

"You dirty Tet'Shuct… But I'm _very_ flattered to hear that from you." She giggled a little, "I would say it does _enhance_… _ahem_… some of my qualities wouldn't you say?" She stared at her legs and gave herself a good once-over. She had a good body and she knew it. Hearing John confirm her self-evaluation only made it _that_ much better.

"Human women would kill to get a figure like yours." He nodded to affirm his statement.

"I'm sure. I've seen some… not so great looking humans..."

"Yeah… people like that usually let themselves go… physically… emotionally…"

"Could that happen to you?" She asked a little admonished by the idea of John actually weighing over 150 kilos and being grossly depressed with his state of life.

"Sure. If I ate too much."

"Don't eat too much. Please. I like the John I have now."

"Count on it."

She gave a sigh of relief. "Good… I don't think I could handle kissing you if you were that big…"

"I wouldn't either…" They both laugh a little.

"So what's it like living on a quarian ship? Get me up to speed with what I need to know."

She forestalled the question with a finger while she chewed. When she was done, she answered.

"Well! First, I'd like to say it's something that you could handle. Sometimes the jobs we get are little touch and go, but it's nothing too difficult. Jobs like that usually weed out the lesser ones anyways."

"What's _your_ job, Tali?"

She let that question settle in as she started to ponder on what _exactly_ her job on the Flotilla really was.

"Varied." She said finally, "Everyone's is… mostly. Right now I handle some engineering tasks among five others in a group…" She took a long swig from her hydration pack, "When I'm not turning knobs and reassembling wires, I'm in my lab or running special missions like this one. Although I haven't exactly had a project to do in a while…at least three months. They've been taken over by Admiral Xen and my Father."

"Wait. You've got your own lab? Christ, Tali. You sound like you're a doctor or something."

"What? Technically, I guess, I am… I do have a doctorate in engineering… a major in math… and… an associates in Eezo theory."

"You majored in math _while_ you were in doctorate school?" He bristled.

If she really was telling the truth, then his education _paled_ in comparison.

"Mhmm. I finished the doctorate a year _early_ too." She said with a slight smile. She hated to boast… but it felt _good_ sometimes. Plus, it was Shepard she was impressing to… so… double good.

"How often do people do that?"

"Not too often."

"Uh-huh…" He put little effort in knowing Tali would smoke him if it ever came to a math test.

"What about you John?" She asked while putting both her elbows on the table and interlocking her six fingers, "I know you're smarter than you'd like to admit."

His chopsticks absently prod his food as he chewed over the words he was going to say to her. "I majored in engineering, actually..." He said through a sigh, "That, and I got an associates in Avionics along with a M.A. certification just for the hell of it. Did all of that with a dual-membership program. Full ride scholarship with ANROTC at Ravington. Only because I had kick-ass grades and a little pull from my dad and mom."

"John. That's awesome."

"_Okay, Dr. Tali_." He joked, "You know, I'm surprised we never knew talked about this earlier."

"Wasn't that important, I guess. Half the stuff I learned I still haven't used to this day, John. Nobody cares about those certificates except for snobbish bosses."

He agreed by nodding and pursing his lips in understanding. She continued.

"I got my associates when you were gone, anyways. Did it in my spare time. I, uh… finished that class with an eighty-two percent, actually. So I'm not _that_ prestigious."

"Oh what. _ever_." He exclaimed. He put down his utensil and put a hand on his forehead. "It's _great_ to know that my _fiancé_ is smarter than me."

Her grin turned into a bright beaming smile. "Oh shut-up, John. I did it out of necessity. I needed a better understanding." She muttered with a slight grin. Her hand props the side of her head. "Do you _really_ want to bond to me?"

"You're wearing that thing, right?" He pointed at the pendant that dangled loosely between her food and breasts, "…and humans call it getting_ married_, by the way."

"No difference." She finished by rubbing her dexterous calf along his. He grabbed for both of her hands and played with the ends of her glove. She acknowledged the affection by squeezing his own digits lovingly.

"John." She whispered with her dreamy eyes.

"Yes?"

"I'd like to go."

He nodded in agreement and paid for their meals by sliding his credit chit (wired with Tali's bank account) into the kiosk next to their table.

They gathered their possessions, took one last moment to make sure they hadn't lost anything, and left to take a stroll down the plaza.

Her arm, draped around his, with her head resting along his shoulder, squeezed affectionately.

"Beautiful night life, isn't it?" She let her eyes drink in the dark sky and warm colored signs that hung over the lengthy boardwalk.

"Yes. It certainly is…" His own eyes look at the vibrant display, "Let's just find a place to stay, Tals. We can toast there. We can do the errands in the morning. What do you say?"

"I'd _love_ to."

* * *

><p>"The data confirms it. It's the Collectors. No doubt." Miranda made it clear to her boss.<p>

The Illusive man nodded absently to her report while he skimmed over Veetor's thorough readings.

"It's disappointing to hear Shepard had decided to leave you."

"It changes everything."

"Not necessarily." He replied through a tight and professional smile, "You're both being assigned to the SR-2 effective immediately. For now, you'll be the ship's captain until we can find a way to secure the Commander's trust."

The Illusive man took Miranda's silence as an invitation to continue.

"In the meantime, I'll outfit the ship with the intended crew along with a detachment of soldiers to begin recruitment. I'll forward you the dossiers."

She nodded. "Right away."

"Miranda." He intoned between a swig of brandy.

"Yes?"

"Don't fail me."

* * *

><p>Juel hadn't felt this bad for a <em>long<em> time.

It'd been years, in fact.

He'd thought, at first, that losing himself in the company of fellow friends and drink, he could buzz his 'not-so-bad' problems away until they came back in the morning with some breakfast and a pounding headache.

But he stood there, staring at his sealed container of harsh liquor as if he'd been staring at a blank wall for hours.

He knew exactly why he felt terrible too.

He didn't want to admit it, but it had to do with Tali.

Well... Not necessarily _her_, per say, but it had to do with the whole recent reuniting with her long lost lover.

If lack for better word, he was jealous. Not because Tali had John again. No. Far from it in fact.

It was because he _knew_ he wouldn't get Samah back. His brows furrow a little while his eyes drooped from exhaustion. It was years ago, but if he put his mind into it (Which he did more than he'd care to admit) the scabbed wound in his heart would split open big enough for _fat_ to come out.

He rolled his eyes at the precarious thought. He stared absently at his potent concoction in front of him.

The drink's alluring powers, still contained within his unopened bottle, called to his tongue and teeth.

Wow he felt depressed.

"What's wrong, Juel?" Prazza pulled up a bar-stool and set next to the sullen man, "We should be happy. No one got hurt, and we've got a day off to pretend we still live like normal people. It's a good day."

"You're right." Juel uncapped his bottle and rose it into the air, "For us Bosh'tets that get to live for another day! Keelah Se'lai you dumb Tet'shucts!"

Prazza rose his own glass in silent understanding and took generous swigs from their respective drinks.

The bar's electronic music complimented the modern bar's ambiance. More than half of the congregators were quarian.

Juel allowed himself to smile grimly. There were too many of them to pick a fight with. The people here would have to deal with it. And _if_ they did, they'd be fighting marines. Hardcore, Geth-Killing, Krogan ball-kicking, ones.

Weapons or not, their martial arts and tech capability could give even the Asari's biotic flexibility pause.

Juel's throat burned with alcohol. He washed down the sensation with another swig of liquor.

"Think they're pissed they have forty quarians running around in their bar?" Prazza spoke his concern between a sip of his beer.

"Sure. But we pay and keep to ourselves... mostly. They should be happy enough for that." They both swirl around in their seats and stare at the room they had been keeping their backs to the entire time.

Some of the congregators, both quarian and turian alike (Likely too drunk to care or notice), held each other's shoulders while they rosied around in a circle singing to some illegible and ill-sung tune. Several salarian's stare absently at the senseless camaraderie while they sipped on their own drinks.

"So—it's none of my business—But we're men… why the droopy shoulders? Is it… because of Tali?"

Juel's head lulled and shook. "Nah… That blessed Bosh'tet… I _wish_ I was lucky as her." He muttered.

"What do you mean?"

"I lost someone a while back. Some pirates raided our ship when we we're pre-pilgrimage marines… She was taken by the rustfucks aboard their vessel. She ended up escaping somehow and scuttled their ship."

"Oh…" Prazza's grip waned on his drink when he knew he'd trespassed some serious personal territory, "Shit, Juel. Sorry… I didn't mean to go there."

"It's fine… it's just—"

"—That you wished you could've gotten a second chance too."

Juel nodded sullenly. "Exactly."

They both, simultaneously, sip through their straws.

"If it means anything, I'm here if you need me. You can always come by my place if you ever need to talk. I've got a good stash of some beer if you need a drink sometime at home. You remember what deck I'm on, right?"

"Of course… I'll take that invitation, Prazza. Thanks."

"Good. Now finish that drink and come join us whenever you feel the need. I'll give you some space for now."

Juel nodded and watched Prazza slowly walk over to his marines.

He groaned slowly and downed whatever remained in his bottle.

"Bartender… another round please…?"

"My pleasure, Pal."


	38. Wine, Dine, and you'll get the Rest

**A/N: **Wanted to let you guys no first and foremost, this chapter is NSFW. You've been warned.

Enjoy! :D

* * *

><p><strong>|Present time.|<strong>

**|DATE: 1-25-2185| **

**|Location: Crescent Nebula/Tasale System/Illium/Vista Cova/Mara Horizon's Luxury Suites/Mansion 14|**

Tali was very pleasantly surprised. Her wine had somehow disappeared three times now from her glass.

The dinner she'd eaten from earlier staved off some of the creamy buzz, but the warm feeling was getting hotter and hotter with each passing moment.

Her smile deepened as she continued the heartfelt one-on-one with John at the kitchen's warm-colored island.

They talked for hours (Or for what seemed to be hours) catching up on Tali's past two years aboard the flotilla.

Shepard poured himself another generous amount of Reigning Nova's famous distillery. For once, John enjoyed a real alcoholic drink. But he had to admit… sharing it with Tali while they both sat on their bar chairs closer than personal space would allow made it _ten times _better.

He took a nice long swig from his glass and gave off his umpteenth smile since they entered the luxurious hotel hours ago. John, before engaging in their small celebration, showered and changed into a robe and sleepwear the staff provided on the bed.

He took a small moment to truly appreciate the modern décor while Tali busied herself with refilling her wine bladder.

The '_Mara Horizon's Luxury suites', _it was called. Best damned hotel on Illium's left hemisphere.

Rated at a total of **_10 Diamonds._** (If such a term existed for human luxury service)

_That was equal to what would amount to a twenty star hotel._

But those diamonds were _very_ well earned. John and Tali had immediately agreed the suite, after a sizable amount of inspecting the view, couldn't have been any more luxurious than the one they stood in. They both, several times after they had entered the place, took the time looking out at the distant horizon, where Vista Cova's glimmering nightlife shined exquisitely through the mansion's polarized windows.

The suites were separated on a 40 kilometer estate, each the size of a mansion, included with a landing pad, indoor pool, entertainment room, king size bed, Kitchen (ironically) and, oddly enough, an ozone filtration system.

It seemed the hotel believed in providing their guests with air intended only for what lungs were _designed_ to inhale. No dust. No Asari rose pollen (Which littered the landscape around them), No exhaust (from the industrial facilities dozens of kilometers away), no bacteria, contaminants, nothing.

It was a little ironic that a luxury hotel would go so far as to filter entire suites (The idea sounded expensive)... but John wasn't going to complain.

Neither did Tali, surprisingly.

The place was jaw _droppingly_ _beautiful. _

It was the best escape from reality they've ever had. Hands down.

But… One night here cost John 6,000 credits.

But he kept in mind that he was doing it for Tali. And if she liked it, then it was worth every penny.

"You're going to empty your bottle of wine, hun. Keep filling up your glass, and I'll have to order you another soon." He tipped his glass toward the direction of her bottle and smiled when she glared at the liquid's disappointingly low level.

"My cup must've been deeper than I thought." She mumbled with a small sigh, "But I feel _soooo_ good, though." Her finger feels for the edge of her sealed cup.

He leaned forward with an interested eye. "I hope you won't be getting too drunk?"

"No, no. I'm okay. Really..." She said hurriedly, "I would never drink so much to forget something as _amazing_ as this… no way." She took another long sip of her wine and withdrew the straw from her helmet.

"Good... because all I'm looking for tonight? … Is a good buzz to share between my future wife and me."

She gave off a frail laugh before heading to the cupboard. John's brow curled interestingly as she retrieved a sleek looking glass from the cabinet.

"I'm making a toast, my huneey." She slurred with a wide grin, "To my handsome Bosh'tet lover who kicked death in the face to come back with life anew... Keelah'Selai." She poured the drink and rose it into the air to clink with Shepard's glass. His lop-sided grin and furrowed brows went along with her silly satire.

John swallowed his half-dry, lightly sweet beverage and set the glass back onto the table.

"Hun? You're supposed to drink it after we do that." He noted while curling his brow a little higher.

I know." She replied when she set the full glass down.

"Then…?"

Her hands dance around the seals of her neck.

John's lower lip trembled slightly when a sudden knot gripped his stomach and wrenched it toward the inner wall of his gut.

Ten seconds had hardly passed and her helmet was removed freely from her head. The drapes of hair that fell freely onto her shoulders looked _incredible_.

Just like last time (All those years ago), she inserted her small translator into her ears without John ever noticing.

John had to keep his jaw from slacking onto the table. His heart squeezed in loving agony at Tali's spine-chilling beauty. If he were forty years older, he'd have to be hauled away on a stretcher to the nearest hospital for a heart attack.

Her eyes and smile, glowing in splendor, nearly fry Shepard's eyeballs off. It was the face galactic super-models practiced and yearned for.

Her neck seal that lined her back parted and let her neck show. She set both pieces onto the counter delicately and gave John a _very_ toothy smile. Her silvery eyes, carefully painted with some very obvious hints of desire, narrow to give her grin some leeway.

She rose the new glass of wine high into the air again. "To my love: John Shepard…" She took a sip from her naked and chilled glass. When she was finished with the drink, her eyes set onto John's.

John tried to smile and, instead, mumbled a low-set string of something unintelligible.

He gulped.

To him, the last time he saw her face was numbered in mere months… but it didn't much matter.

Seeing her again like this made his brain feel like goop in a greasy case of topless tupperware.

Saddening. He thought that he would have gotten good with women by now at nearing the age of thirty. Obviously not. He waited for her to speak so he wouldn't ruin their moment.

For how long this would remain perfect was anyone's guess.

Then again, she was just as new to this kind of thing as he was.

Plus, knowing each other for _this_ long wasn't going to bring in something irrevocably awkward. It was _impossible_ at this point. If they _did_ make some comical mistake at this precious moment, they'd laugh it off, and continue like it never happened. But in all seriousness, John was _very keen_ on _not_ ruining it.

She put down her drink and slipped herself into John's heart-felt grasp. Her smile turned soft and her eye-lids loosened.

"John…" Her arms loosely wrap around his neck as if she had practiced for a part in a dramatic play. John responded in kind by placing his own arms around her delicate frame. Her smile, having finally wavered, allowed her soft and supple lips to part ever so slightly just enough for John to work his deadpanned brain into action.

_This was it. _

_Keelah, this was it. The moment I've been waiting for all these years… The perfect moment…_

_…Hope my wine doesn't taste too bad... I heard mixing wine is terrible._

Finally, their lips, after a yearning of nearly two-and a half years, meet in a soft and very meaningful kiss.

Her soft lips, finer than the smoothest yarns of finely strung silk, press further into his. Her eyes remained closed for the entire duration.

After a monumental stretch of time passed by, the kiss ended.

She let out a soft exhale of breath and kept her arms around him. "Wow. I—_wow_… dreaming can't even—compare… _just_… _wow_…" Her eyes shoot open, "…I did it right, right?"

"Yes. You did _great_, Tali…" His hands started to caress her back slightly while his eyes warmed up to her shockingly beautiful complexion.

Well… he didn't exactly '_warm up'_ to her face… the glamor and hype of how innocent her jawline looked did well to enhance her eyes and thin nose. The Faysakt (As John remembered it being called) that met at her eyebrows also enhanced the god like beauty she had.

"…can we do it again?" She asked through a whisper.

She pressed slightly into his touch. "…please?"

"You don't have to ask."

Their lips lock again with twice the amount of honeyed passion. Her arms slowly make way to holding the sides of his head.

The palms of Shepard's hands explore further along her back. Her soft moan of satisfaction gave him all he needed to know that she enjoyed _every_ second of it.

It continued, their wine long forgotten.

John didn't exactly recall getting on the couch in the living room... nor having Tali straddle him just moments after their first kiss…Much less did he care.

The pace quickened, and soon enough, Tali got the hang of making out.

By now, both their hands ventured off and rubbed lustfully over each other's bodies.

Tali's core tightened into a heating throb.

She'd been waiting _years_ for this moment.

_Years_.

It wasn't even really waiting. It was hoping for something she knew she'd never get. Not because John wouldn't give it to her…but because he couldn't. She didn't really expect that tonight could really be what she'd been yearning and dreaming for: to truly show her love through intimacy.

The quarian removed John's robe and threw it somewhere over the couch toward the kitchen.

John took the cue and picked her up, legs and all, toward the bed in the master bedroom down the hall.

He set her on the plush comforter centered on their bed and resumed.

"I certainly wasn't expecting this…" He said with a big beaming smile.

"Yes you were, you Bosh'tet."

"Maybe a _little_." He remarked between a small peck. She smirked and gave him another long kiss.

He spoke between the kiss with a small snort as they laugh together. "But, come on… It's been a long time coming, wouldn't you think?"

"Of course. Now would you?" She tugged at the bottom of his shirt.

"What? You want to see more of me?" He said with a snicker. He complied and pulled the shirt up and over his head before tossing it behind him carelessly.

John was always worried when this day would come. More ecstatic than worried though, of course. He'd made several contingencies in the event of something bad arising amongst their love making. Most of it involved laughing it off, and patting Tali on the back while mentally rebuking his poor performance (Or hers if that was the case).

But he came prepared, poor performance or not.

A while ago (As In two years ago), he researched quarian anatomy to make sure Tali's… _ahem_… _lady parts,_ would even really… uhh… _fit_.

He couldn't believe how relieved he was when he got the answer he was desperately searching for. The last thing he needed was twenty or so stitches from some wicked set of teeth wedged inside her genitals. If they **_did_** have teeth… the stitches probably wouldn't even have mattered at that point. After that, he'd probably urinate as well as a water bottle peppered with birdshot.

It was stupid reasoning, he admitted with a crooked brow. But still.

"Oh, _Keelah_." She muttered while placing a delicate finger to trace the fine grooves of his physique, "You're like one of those pictures of models you see at the front of those stores at shopping malls."

"Those people are fake." He replied.

"I can deal with fake. Seriously though, John… You. _Look_. _great_."

"Oh please." He rolled his eyes, admonished by the idea of ever getting such a compliment from her. "The weights I lift and the shower I took did most of the work..." He looked at his pecks and sniffed at his shoulder, "Speaking of which… How do I smell? They had some cologne in there and opted to try one out."

She took a deep whiff and sighed, her head lulling in satisfaction. "Really. _Really_. Good. I was going to say something, but I thought it's how you smell all the time."

"Ha!" He laughed and nuzzled his nose with hers. "I could say the same thing. You smell like cinnamon and honey..." His nose sniffed at her neck and she shivered.

"Really?" She moaned while he brushed his lips carefully over her neck.

"I wouldn't have any reason to lie, now would I?"

"No. I suppose not. I shouldn't be bothered by the idea of smelling like insect spit." She hugged him tightly and snorted at her own joke before giving him another very long and loving kiss.

"I shouldn't have taught you anything about human food… but, just for future reference… there isn't anything wrong with that at all. Honey is considered a delicacy, really. Smell and all."

She rolled her eyes and grinned sarcastically.

"Here… give me a second. I need to do something."

"What's wrong?" Lines of worry crease his forehead.

"_Nothing_. Calm down, John. You'll see."

His brows' worrisome expression never ceased. "What are you doing?"

She smiled and answered him with a light peck on the lips.

Ostensibly satisfied with her kiss, Shepard watched intently when she sat at the bed's end to loosen the three straps that lined high above her waist.

"Oh… _mmm_… I see now." He mumbled with a tight lipped expression as he heard the fasteners unclasping. His hands, unknowingly, flex with every belt that was tossed toward the floor.

Soon after, he watched her Realk unravel from head to thigh.

Interposed between removing her articles of clothing, she would steal glances to make sure he was still watching.

Which he was, of course.

She removed her boots and slipped her leggings out from them.

"Like it?" She whispered while draping her long and limber legs back onto the bed's comforter.

He mumbled a small, very incoherent 'uh-huh'.

She held out a single finger to forestall his attempts to resume their 'over the suit' action. "Just a little longer… I'm not finished yet." She intoned with a smile.

Her hands got to the release mechanism that lined her back and pulled. A soft sigh escaped the seal, followed by several vertebrae like pops.

Now _this_ was the part John definitely _hadn't_ seen before.

He had to stop himself from panting.

His heart rate _soared_ beyond the limits of FTL while his cheeks flush into heavy shades of burning red. His eyes narrow to take a fleeting glance at his shrinking pants. It looked like his heart wasn't the _only_ thing that was engaging into slip-space. Such a _pitiful_ analogy, John noted with a mental grunt. But it'd have to do… It was the _only_ thing he could think of to hold himself together.

Her back, just as smooth and immaculate as her cheeks, was revealed to him.

"What do you think?" She asked while slipping her arms out from her sleeves.

John, by now, had reached for a pillow and covered himself from the waist down.

She ceased her toiling and decided to ask a very rhetorical question. "What are you hiding?"

She already knew _well_ beforehand what would happen to John if she engaged in behavior like this.

"What do _you_ think?" He put on a defiant façade before swallowing. "Keep going, hun."

She shrugged and accepted his _not-so-forthcoming_ compliment. The upper half having been removed, she slowly peeled her legs from her leggings until the entire thing flopped onto the floor.

Her toes curled instinctively against the bed's soft fabric.

Wow did it feel _great_ to be naked.

She'd daydreamed for years about doing this. Would it be humiliating? Awkward? Embarrassing?

Nope. She didn't feel any of that.

Either she was disillusioned with sexuality, or was _very_ keen on sleeping with John.

_Heh… it was probably a heavy mix of both. _

If she was feeling anything, it was the feeling of _incentive_. Something she found _truly_ invigorating. Savory… _Sweet_, even.

But she reminded herself that her incentive was _love_. It _couldn't and wouldn't_ have been anything else.

Tali's overdosed sense of self-confidence (channeled only by an overpowered amount of love for her mate) seemed to pay off when she saw her lover's reaction.

John felt like something had coiled around his throat. _And_ his pants, he'd like to add.

Of course, he had deduced very quickly that the feeling was some kind of normal, albeit deluded psychiatric symptom he was reacting to. But he expected this. _Witnessing Tali undress was __**supposed**__ to make you breathless. _

But it wasn't _just_ breathtaking… it was heart-wrenching, ball-twisting, bone-breaking, and finger-snappingly painful. But in the _good_ way.

The whole _'Tali-package' _was a _very_ serious step up from only knowing her precious and faultless face.

To see her like this now? Bare of anything other than the skin she was born with?

It would put even _God_ to shame. And if she could put the 'supposed' universe's creator to unceasing ignominy… how well would John fair against the face of Tali's _unadulterated_ beauty?

"So…" She lay sideways along the bed in such a way that would leave her hiding only the most intimate parts of her, "…what do you think?"

"_Speechless_, is my answer…" He remarked with a timid smile.

He inched her way closer to her, pillow left behind, and mimicked the way she lay down with his head propped by an elbow. He did well not to poke her.

He swallowed down whatever remained of his nervousness, and kissed her while barely managing to hold down his unkept grin.

"Guess I should lose the pants, huh?" He snapped the elastic waistline with a thumb.

"I _did_ lose mine." She bit her lip into a guiltless smile and thumbed the suit that sulked quietly in the corner it had been rudely thrown in, "It's only fair…" Her hand slowly trimmed its way across his chest down to the crest of his pants.

John had no doubt that Tali's wine had some sort of factor into how she was acting. He'd never expect the quarian to go for most of all the 'first-moves'.

It was big game-changer. Goose-bumps littered his skin as she gave his stomach a soft touch from her silky fingertips.

"Alright… want to take them off for me?" He couldn't help but stare at her supple breasts and wide hips.

She gave him an answer by placing both her hands at the flanks of his waist before pulling them down until they left his ankles.

"Should I leave my socks on?" He chuckled slightly at his black socks that remained on his feet.

"Eh… it kind of looks weird with them on..." Her pointer and thumb quickly pulls them off his feet.

Staring at the five appendages at the end of both his limbs, she began playing with his toes with an interested eye. "Wow… I've always wondered what it was like to have five small little toes."

John snorted while rolling his eyes comically. Tali was seeing him _naked_ for the first time… and all she could think of first was his feet?

He wasn't offended.

If anything, It made him relieved to know she wasn't focused on really impressing him. In turn, it relieved the stress and pressure of trying to adequately please your partner. Nothing was worse than feeling that before sex.

In spite of that, it was still the first time for them both… So there weren't any expectations or high standards to live up to. Even then, it didn't matter. The night was for them and _nothing_ else.

"That tickles, hun." He flexed his toes and she gave a generous laugh. Having satisfied her curiosity, she decided to continue where she'd left off.

"Mm… _much_ better…" She gave John a very slow and good once-over, "and… _wow._ John… you're sooo _beautiful_."

He wrapped an arm around her and laughed. "Hun… you're supposed to say _handsome_… not _beautiful_. That's what you say to chicks."

Her sly grin turned soft as she went up to kiss him. "Sorry. You're really _hauwt_ then… is that better?" She gave him another long kiss of which he gladly reciprocated while mumbling an unintelligible 'yes' in between.

The feel of real skin-on-skin action had, just as they both had expected, reignited their desire of love. Her breasts brushed invitingly over John's chest as they continue to kiss. His strong arms carefully grab for her arm and leg to straddle him. Their hands resume their courageous adventure of running along the lengths of their bodies.

It had struck Tali, amidst the kiss between them, how far they _really_ had come.

Tali, through a considerable amount of effort (With John's protest), separate their locked lips and so they could talk without losing their breath.

"John..." She rasped quietly before staring deeply into his eyes, "...I love you."

He caressed her cheek with a hand and put as much love as he could inside his loving smile.

"I love you too, Tali." He croaked quietly, "With all my heart."

Her raven hair, which encased both of them in a lengthy tunnel of dark locks, was, with the utmost certainty, downright spellbinding.

They kissed again.

When they relieved themselves of smacking at each other's faces, Tali finally worked up the courage to start touching his member.

And at that very moment, Tali felt a rush of emotions reminding her of everything she'd ever dreamed of had come true.

She was with John.

And they were in love.

So _madly_ in love.

And she was finally happy.

All seriousness aside, she was going fuck her future husband good. _Real_ good.

Or at least try to.

No better way to start than now.

"…_uhm_… should we?" She asked as she stroked him every so slightly.

"Oh yeah…—yeah, go for it_._" He dragged his words under one breath at her nimble touch. He could do without the sensitive groping (Not because she was bad at doing it, but because it was _too_ good.) …but he'd manage.

Hopefully.

She prodded his member several times with her glistening slit, her breasts dangling over his forehead and nose like small melons dangling from a string.

"Sorry… a _lot_ harder than it looks." She giggled uncontrollably until her hand, still wrapped around his manhood, finally inserted herself onto him correctly.

Her hands flex instinctively against his chest and she moaned.

It struck John, after he'd disappeared into her, that he was right about three of _four_ things:

She was _extremely_ tight… _blazingly_ hot inside, and _very, very_ wet.

The fourth thing (Of which he'd guessed wrong and was in no way of being a bad thing) came off as bit of a serious surprise. Blinking rapidly and seizing the chance to take a large breath, he realized she was much _deeper_ than he had originally anticipated. That or he'd shrunk. His second pump, he glanced down to see his full size and was resolved to know he _was_ indeed the same large size he'd always been.

He thought, when he factored that quarians were of smaller build and height, it'd come naturally that they'd… be _smaller_ too.

"Obviously not." He groaned loud enough for Tali to hear.

"Wh-what…?" She gasped between what seemed to be anywhere between a painful shriek and cry of pleasure. It wasn't that far-fetched to think it could've been both. I mean… she _was_ a virgin.

"N… nothing…"

John didn't get much more time to continue his train of thought. Her knees, which straddled the pinned man, continued to rise and fall slowly.

His libido grumbled angrily at how lousy a fight he was doing of holding himself down from turning into a mad frenzy.

If it were up to his instinct rather than his conscience, it wouldn't be lovemaking right now. But that's exactly what he wanted… to make _love_ to her…'not let his dick do all the talking'.

Her arms, which were locked at the elbows, supported herself on his shoulders. Finding it appropriate, she lay parallel against his chest to give him a sideways kiss.

John took it as an indicator to take over for her. With a firm grasp of both her hips, he pushed slowly until her hands unknowingly grasp the sheets. He made sure he was being gentle and kept the pace at a slow rhythm. It surprised John to feel her forcing herself down on him with every thrust. He expected her to want to take it slow to get used to it.

It was even _more_ of a surprise to hear her moan frustratingly.

"Faster? _Please_? Come on, John, faster!" She asked between her hearty grunts and bucking thighs.

He didn't bother replying. He got his green light. Reaching to hug her back while simultaneously grabbing her ass, he heightened to the pace she wanted. She forcibly thrust herself into his push while heightening her moan for every time he plunged down. Her groans and moans grew louder with each passing moment, her hands gripping the pillow behind John's head tighter and tighter.

At this rate, their session would hardly last five minutes. But it would be an _awesome_ five minutes.

John felt her canal narrow to an impossible size and nearly had to stop from being over stimulated. Luckily enough she reached hers first before he could.

Her hips dug deeper into him while her legs trembled in ecstasy. The thought to stop the scream she threw forth from her lips was hardly a concern for her. Plus, she was pretty sure John wouldn't mind. If anything, he'd like it.

A good sheen of sweat covered the quarian as the slowed the pace down to catch her breath. "Keelah… only half a minute in and I already came…" She took several deep breaths, "ar—are you enjoying this?"

"Is that a _rhetorical_ question?" He gave off his brightest grin and squeezed both her breasts to reassure her. "Yes, is the answer, hun."

"Keep going—don't… stop—" She replied and fell back against his chest to resume.

"—_Not_ stopping." Given his _soaring_ desire to keep himself from spilling, he made a unanimous decision to try and focus on pleasuring her instead of himself.

An 'easy' feat for anyone willing to place their mind elsewhere for the entire duration. But in what kind of sick universe could you ignore such an overwhelming stimulus (if you could even call it that)?

From _Tali_ no less?

Nowhere.

It was imminent that John pits would also dampen from perspiration. If he kept up the speed Tali forced him to stay at, he'd be sweating everywhere.

Tali was pretty sure, the next few minutes would determine whether or not the sheets would have the same sweaty fate as their skin. But she didn't care.

Being _this_ horny, _anything_ sounded good.

Frustrated with his lack of any form of basic will power, his arms hug Tali's back and rolled them both over so they could switch places. Elated with the new position, Tali took in the new sight and happily continued.

"Ohm, uhm—_much_—_different, _John…"

"You're not—making _much sense_, Tali."

She replied with a hearty moan and grasped tightly against the sheets for some much needed leverage. John was really surprised that she could handle all of him. Not once did she _ever_ complain about his size. There _was_ the occasional grunt or gasp she'd make that sounded rather painful… but _every time_ he'd slow down with a pitiful look of concern on his face, she'd mutter between the cries and yelps of pleasure to go faster and _harder_ again. Shrugging, and deciding that both of them were still in the 'win-win' zone, he continued with the performance Tali demanded from him.

For being a virgin, she was _great_.

_Best_ sex John ever had in his _life_.

Hope her first time would be as great as she imagined it would be.

Her chest heaved for air while her moans grew loader. John took note and realized he found Tali's very 'oh-so luscious' _sweet_ spot.

Might as well squeeze another orgasm out of her.

Her body tensed and trembled in ecstasy for another several seconds. John could certainly feel it. The contractions _and_ the death grip she held around his waist with her legs would definitely leave their marks. The pain actually gave him a good break from exploding himself. The lack of air in his lungs helped too.

Finally, her locked legs uncurl around his waist and fall back onto the sheets in a sweaty heap.

John let out a hasty breath before thanking the heavens he was able to go _this_ long and give _this_ much to his exotic fiancé.

He gave off another winded breath and grinned stupidly at her.

_Whew… _worth_ every _second_. _

John, to some very large extent, expected his performance to dip below the abilities of a hyper-minuteman witnessing a woman undress in front of him for the first time in his life. It was good to know and fairly relieving to know he was wrong.

"_Second_ time…_Keelah_… that's the best orgasm I've _ever_ had."

"_Ever_…?" He smiled and gave her a peck, "Ha, you make it out to be like you've had others."

"It's true..." She said with a slight laugh, "But I've _never_ had anyone else except for you."

She brought her hands up to mimick his member.

"_Ahhh_. I get you." He nodded bluntly in understanding, "You uh… help yourself along whenever you '_feel the need'_."

"Yes, John." She sniped humorously while taking care to roll her eyes, "I _masturbate_."

He chuckled and she slapped his shoulder playfully. "I seriously don't see what's wrong with that… and I don't do it that often… But nothing beats this, John. _Nothing."_

"Really? You absolutely sure?" His eyes glower in concern, hoping that his performance hadn't upset her somehow. She gave off the impression that anything John did, short of _dying_, wouldn't ever upset Tali. But it never hurt to ask and make _absolutely_ sure.

"_Yes!_ …Now will you?"

He relented with a smile, kissed her on the lips passionately, and decided, with a good amount of time in-between, to continue as Tali's libido necessitated.

Her head arched back onto the pillow followed by another hearty groan.

He kept his slow pace while keeping in mind that she still liked it rough. The motions they kept making wouldn't let him last much longer. And she looked well on her way to coming three times now. "If I keep this up, Tali? I'm going to... come."

"Really?" She reached up toward his shoulders and pushed him over until he lay on his back. "I want to come at the same time…"

He nodded dumbly and let her hitch onto him.

Slipping back onto his throbbing core while placing both her hands squarely on his pectorals, she started the pace herself and already began to feel her building climax.

"John… I already feel it." Her breasts which dangle over his head finally flatten against his chest so he could enter inside her better. "Go faster… faster…"

"Yeah?" He grabs both of her cheeks with his hands and gives them a good squeeze. "_Good_…"

Her grunts turn into squeaks before finally seizing up to hold her breath as she felt the mountain climb higher and higher. Her feet find ample amounts of purchase against the bed while she digs harder into his hips feeling every thrust getting tighter and hotter.

She could feel him growing really stiff. That must've been a good indicator of him coming to his own peak. She'd have to time this right.

Her grinds became much more consistent in speed and pressure to further induce their orgasms.

"Tali…? I, uh—I'm… _I'm_…"

"I _know_!"

Suddenly, she let out a scream that sounded like pleasure, pain, ecstasy, and anything in-between while John had, concurrently, let himself go inside her. To say that the mess between them now was _horrendously_ huge was a _monumental_ understatement. Neither had noticed how much natural lube had accumulated between them. It was also good to mention that neither cared.

The room was bare of sound except for the heavy breathing and quiet sounds of air vents filtering fresh air into their master bedroom.

"Keelah… that was…" She lay back down on top of him while his member continued to throb inside her, "…amazing." She murmured through a satisfying sigh.

"Yeah… No kidding… Maybe we should, uh… take the sheets with us when we leave next morning." He breathed as he stroked her back passionately. "We probably made a terrible mess. I'd hate to let the caretakers clean this… much less see it."

She snorted and closed her eyes to give him a light kiss on the lips. "Did you… enjoy? Even a little?"

"Yes. I enjoyed it. **_A lot_**." His brows emphasize his point, "Holy shit Tali… you did _great_..."

"Good… I needed to hear that." Her head slowly nestled onto his chest, "We should probably clean up… take a shower together… you know… _uhm_…go to bed…" She yawned while fighting to keep her heavy eyes open.

Her breath soon fell into a soft sigh.

When John nodded in agreement, he realized that his rhythmic breathing had, as a consequence, put her to sleep. His one brow arched curiously as her mouth lulled open with a single small snore.

_Cutest damned thing in the galaxy. _

He couldn't blame her really. His own eyes felt like they were being tethered down by a set of heavy weights… Taking into account how exhaustive their session was, it didn't come as much of surprise to have her _actually_ fall asleep straddling him. It was an ironic way to end the night though. He was expecting at least some more heartfelt kisses and cuddling for the next hour.

Comfort aside, He was **_very_** happy with the turn out. Gently brushing a hand along her naked back, he conceded with the idea that he should cover them both with the folded comforter, mess and all, until morning time would wake them both.

"Good night, hun." He cooed before kissing her on the forehead, "...See you 'till morning."

He yawned once, closed his eyes, and fell asleep to the soothing sound of her soft and adorable snores.


	39. The Day After

**|Present time.|**

**|DATE: 1-25-2185|**

**|Location: Crescent Nebula/Tasale System/Illium/Vista Cova/Mara Horizon's Luxury Suites/Mansion 14|**

* * *

><p>"Good morning." John mumbled with a dry whisper. His eyes had been jailed shut for nearly eight hours. So when he tried to pry them open, he blinked in high spun staccatos in some pathetic and futile attempt to compensate for his sleep swollen face.<p>

"…Morning…" She replied with her own small murmur. She kissed him on the cheek, yawned, and rubbed the hazy feeling from her eyes just to make sure the previous night wasn't just some crazy misconstrued fantasy.

The ceiling's sky light centered above their bed allowed Illium's hot sun to spread its soft milky tendrils of orange light into the dark maroon colored room.

"Sleep well?" He asked before taking a deep breath and letting his diaphragm stretch against Tali's weight.

"_Yes_." She slowly rose from his chest until the sheets slipped delicately from her frame. Still straddling him, she drowned her face under the sun's welcoming and radiant glow.

John, having been absorbed with the stunning display, noticed that her iris had been snuffed of their pale glow because of the sun's warm ruby colored rays.

"What about you?" She finally asked when she messed with the locks of her hair to get them under some semblance of control.

"Like a brick." He replied before adjusting his pillow to enjoy the show she was giving him.

She bathed herself in the sun and closed her eyes before smiling.

"How's it feel?" John asked, "Good?"

"it's amazing." She answered before opening her eyes and deciding it be best to _finally_ separate from him.

But John stopped her.

"It's pretty crusty down there…" He said with a small grin.

She looked down and giggled. "Yeah… I fell asleep before we could even shower…Sorry…" She shrugged before fiddling with his member still stuck inside of her, "Keelah… it's like we're glued together."

"Yup. Guess we'll be like this for the rest of our lives."

She rolled her eyes before slapping him on the shoulder. "Oh stop. Carry me into the bathroom and we can take a shower together?"

"Thirty more minutes." John reached for the blanket they had both used earlier.

"John… I'd love to… but we should get ready soon. We have errands to run, remember? And we're leaving to go back to the flotilla late tonight.

"Fine, fine." He grumbled with a witless grin on his face. The answer for her invitation into the shower should have been blatantly obvious. "Okay hun. You ready?"

"Mhmm." She reached around his neck to anchor herself. "Be careful… I'm—uh—a little sore."

A 'little sore' was a tragic understatement. She'd have to take a low dose of painkillers to walk straight without wincing at every step she'd take today.

Totally worth it.

"Okay, Hun. I'll be careful."

He grabbed for her bottom and carried her into the bathroom. She gave the large room a good once over. Yesterday night, John had rushed his shower so she wouldn't get lonely in the Kitchen… Which made her wonder why his expression mirrored hers.

"Whoa…"

'_Whoa'_ was an appalling word to describe the alarmingly beautiful number of features the bathroom contained within its Asari Oak walls.

The amenities that came with the bathroom were _far_ too many to count. The shelves that lined the walls were stocked with toiletries the quarian couldn't even put a name to.

The shower itself, centered in the middle of the room, had glass walls as clear as any crystal she'd ever seen. The damned thing could easily house twelve occupants inside its ample space. It called to her dark and dirty desires by offering luxury she'd feel ashamed for even sampling. With its five heads mounted at every corner with one directly above for maximum aquatic coverage, it called to her with another elated echo to step into its comforting embrace.

Topping the ludicrous size, the floors were finished with smooth chiseled stone inked with dark earthy grays, browns, and greens.

It was _nauseatingly_ beautiful.

Did she mention it came fitted with motion sensors and conduits for conditioning the water to desired levels instantly with total accuracy?

He slowly stepped in under the steaming stream of water.

"Feel good? Is it too hot? I set the shower to yesterday's setting." He asked while still carrying her.

"No… no… not at all… It's perfect." Her grasp tightened around the man as the steaming water poured over them both. "_Keelah_, I haven't taken a real shower in _ages_…and doing this with you makes it a million times better."

"Good. There's some soap over here." He gently put her down until she could properly balance herself on her bare feet. He passed the lilac scented soaps before helping himself to some lavender shampoo.

"I love you." John whispered with a smile before putting it on top of his short hair.

"I love you too."

The rest of the shower had been focused primarily with cleaning their dirty bodies with tender kisses interposed between their thorough scrubbing. When they finished the long and hot shower, they relieved their full bladders, and retrieved their robes from the walk-in closet set aside in the wall adjacent to the gorgeous looking shower stall before settling on the idea to order food from guest-services.

As he looked through the menu, he gave Tali a big beaming smile and kiss before looking at a clock.

They were making good on time. Nine thirty-two A.M. (According to Human calculation for Illium). The planet's orbit took one extra hour over Earth's… so he guessed it made up the difference by adding another 0100 hours. That meant they'd have to meet back up with Prazza's team at the airport at around eight. He shrugged at the pandered thought before deciding he'd satisfy himself with a hearty helping of country fried steak with a side of some salted hash-browns. He didn't even try to guess what Tali was ordering.

"So…" Tali began as she flipped through the paper menu with her bare fingers. "whatcha getting, John? Some eggs like you usually do for breakfast? Maybe some squiggle things you call hash-browns?"

"Yup." He muttered lamely with a smile. "You?"

"Something Turian. I'll spare you the details."

"Good. Everything you eat looks purple."

"Everything Turian is purple. And everything you eat looks like our blood." She nudged his shoulder before kissing him on the cheek.

"Fair point." He relented with a small chuckle.

She sipped her glass of water after tinkering with the cup's rim.

"You ready for a _real_ Exo-suit? Think you can handle it?"

He turned the vid screen on before turning to her with a small shrug. "We're going to find out… think you'll still be able to pick me out from the crowd when we finally get to the Neema?"

"Of _course,_ John. We'll put a nice little N7 symbol on your suit… maybe even a _Realk_ for your helmet! You're going to have to let me pick the color scheme though."

His brows furrowed worriedly. When she saw his tawdry, albeit completely fake, expression, she slapped him lightheartedly on the chest.

"Oh stop." He winced pitifully at her. "I'll pick something you'll like."

"Okay, _okay_. I _trust_ you." He shoved her softly into the plush couch before she got up from the chair.

"I'm going to order our breakfast then." She said while she relished the feeling of her bare feet scuffling lazily across the clean wood flooring.

Tali sent the requests for food on the refrigerator's data screen before putting the wine away from yesterday night. Her smile grew when she picked up the rumpled robe on the tile she had so eagerly taken off of him prior to their love-making. She took a deep whiff of the fabric and sighed.

She'd have sex again had she not been _so_ sore. They'd had to try oral next time… Hopefully John wouldn't mind. She spared herself a moment to glance at the man she loved watching Illium's news broadcast. He scoffed and rolled his eyes at the Asari news anchor who spoke out of ear-shot. She stole herself a little chance to pretend that this was her life with John, inside their mansion ordering take out because they had been too lazy to cook this morning.

Someday.

But right now, they had a slew of problems to worry about…

_Cerberus…_

_Collectors…_

_Reapers…_

She didn't dare mention any one of those names out loud here… she was happy with spending her time here blissfully. She knew John would agree.

"Oh… shit…"

"Huh? What?"

"Tali… _look_. We're on the god-damned _news_." He grumbled a lowly 'Christ' from his lips before setting his head into the palms of his hands lamely.

_'After careful analysis of the audio and video taken at the South Star Café, it has come to the utmost conclusion that Commander Shepard has returned from the dead! But that's not all! His quarian counterpart, now identified as Tali'Zorah nar Rayya—'_

Shepard rolled his eyes at the obvious mistake. "They got your _name_ wrong Tali. What a surprise."

Tali hurriedly walked back into the living room. "Keelah."

She was fairly shocked… but then mentally chided herself for remembering that Illium, despite its lucrative lax of legality in anything involving munitions development and pharmaceuticals, was shrouded with surveillance cameras to help 'ensure' its tourists and civilians alike receive adequate 'protection and safety' from Illium's law enforcement. Consequentially, it also meant Illium's news companies could cover stories hotter than the planet's own surface. (Which was pretty damn hot.)

'—_could even be __more__ than just a friend. Let's take a listen.' _

The scene had switched to an Elcor whose head had been cut clean from the top of the screen. Tali scoffed quietly at the terrible camera angle.

'_Flabbergasted: It can only affirm our assumptions that there may be a possible love triangle. It cannot get any more obvious than this.'_

Tali, soon after John, held her own head embarrassingly before sitting down next to John in a horrified heap.

The screen had again changed to view John and Tali standing outside the South Star Café talking animatedly.

'_That blue bastard son of a b*tch!' _

Tali grew pale and watched her voice through the vid's speakers. Hearing the colorful human expletives she had used to describe Liara made her shoulders sag lower and lower until they felt like detaching.

'_Tali! What are you talking about?'_ Shepard replied just as she remembered. Then the screen jumped back to the Elcor, where his head had now been visible.

'_Descriptive and informative: The quarian seems to have a grudge against another former member of Commander Shepard's team: Liara T'Soni who now lives on Illium providing her services as an information broker.' _

On que, Liara's cold azure face appeared at the corner of the screen.

They both watched in horror when Tali's face reappeared on the TV screen.

'_Liara knew about this _the _entire _time_…?' _Tali watched herself in the vid shake her head in anger.

The quarian let out a humiliating groan loud enough for John to hear.

He took notice and offered a comforting hand by slipping it into her grasp. "Hun. It's fine. Who cares…?" He insisted by patting her hand several times to try and give his words more sustenance.

Even then, he knew they'd remain hollow. He knew _exactly_ who would care and why they would. The avenues of embarrassment for their little outburst in public were far and plenty, but they'd have to pick one and stick it out until the end. He slowly sighed to himself; This certainly wasn't the best way to make a reentrance back to the living… and to have the news 'accidentally' (which he used loosely) falsify the talk into looking like there was some kind of sick triangle of love between Tali, Liara, and Him.

Call him shallow… but the idea of dating someone eight to nine times older sounded like nothing better than statutory rape. Did it make sense? He didn't much ponder on the insignificant matter.

"Liara? Since she lives on Illium? _Cerberus_?! Since you ditched them? The Alliance? The Council? Or the whole Milky Way for that matter? And I _sure bet the __Reapers_ would be positively _thrilled_ knowing that the man who led an entire fleet into killing Sovereign, is alive again!"

Obviously he snipped too many strings. "You're right... we're kind of over our heads here."

They both turned to back to face the vid where Tali's helmet and John's face consumed the entire screen.

'_That damned __b*tch__ kept you away from me… _Why? _Why would she do that?' _

Tali winced at her fiery and hateful words. Liara would definitely be made _very_ aware of her select choice of vocabulary.

It didn't feel any better hearing half of her voice silenced with the amount of swearing she used.

'_With half-merited honesty: The ensuing argument between Shepard and Zorah provides evidence against Liara's possible infatuation with the Commander. With Finality: We'll provide more as the story and study progresses. Back to you, Alania.'_

John didn't feel much like listening to whatever remained on the Vid… and neither did Tali for that matter. He turned the screen off and forced the quarian to sit closer to him.

"It's fine, Tali. Don't worry about it."

"Ugh… I know. I can't believe—I should have watched my mouth."

"It happens..." He grabbed for her ankles and placed her legs over his lap. "Hey. You're okay." He chuckled and drew a line with his fingers down the curves of her calf. "You got some _great_ legs, you know." He took in a deep breath to make his point. Hopefully his distracting comment would repel the negative feelings Tali was feeling.

"Hope they were sufficient enough for last night?" Her snarky aptitude pushed aside whatever anxiety remained.

"Yes. _Very_. Best damned legs I've _ever_ laid eyes on."

She snorted obnoxiously at his equally obnoxious compliment. "Well… they're all yours."

He took a sip from her cup of water before letting a worried crease curl around his lips.

"How are you feeling?"

"Sniffy. That's about it—took some painkillers and anti-inflammatories though after the shower…it'll help with the symptoms."

"Good. I'm off to a good start with your friends… I'd hate having to explain that we had sex and put you down for a week…"

"I don't think it's going to happen, John. Not every stray piece of bacteria is going to harm me…"

She took the glass of water from his hands and downed whatever remained in the cup.

* * *

><p>"Ugh…" Juel's eyes bead open at an alarmingly sluggish rate. The overcasting shadow from a slow moving industrial fan from above him told the partially sober man it was probably time to wake up.<p>

Now if he only knew where he was…

Several wrappers of some sticky type of candy adhered to his visor and clothes. He brushed them off as he saw them with a look of serious disapproval.

"P—Prazza?" He asked aloud through a painful groan. It took a long moment to get a reply.

"No… it's…" A female voice, which belonged to Olasie'Venn as Juel now remembered, spoke in a low belched grumble. "_me_…"

"Where… where are we?" Juel mumbled with his belly still on the cold hard concrete floor.

"The hell if I know." The sounds of discarded trash could be heard falling off the woman when she got up to a sitting position. "Ancestors…Keelah, Juel…we're in an alley…?"

"Next to a dumpster…" Juel added with a crass mumble.

They turned to each other. "Well… this does wonders to our already soiled reputation as a species doesn't it?"

"Cram it, Olasie… Here. Let me call Praz—" He fumbled for a button that wasn't there. "My Omni-tool's gone…" His arm fell lazily back down to ground. Had he been more awake, he would have cared more.

"Same… I had a _lot_ of good stuff on there… too bad it wipes when it's gets farther than a kilometer of me."

"You wired yours to wipe too?" He scoffed lamely. "Damnit." He slowly rose to his feet and felt the pounding headache he knew would come. "What happened last night? How'd we end up here?"

"Don't know…" Olasie paused. "_Shit_, Juel… I've—I've got a suit breach…"

His eyes, previously sleep ridden, pry open in worry and alertness. "You okay? Any lacerations? Punctures?"

"No… _weird_… just a clean sliced piece on my inner thi—Oh _KEELAH_...somebody put a _tattoo_ on my thigh!" Sure enough, Juel saw a sizable piece of her skin through her breach with a small tattoo of some pathetic looking flower that looked native to Illium.

"What the?"

"You heard me, damnit!" She played with her open skin frantically hoping she could rub the ink out of her leg. "JUEL! It's a TATTOO."

"I've been made very aware of that… You'll be _fine_, Olasie… it's… it's okay…" His hands wrung anxiously as he continued to look at Olasie's naked flesh. "_Ancestors_ that's an ugly tattoo…"

"Shut up, Juel? _Please_?" She grumbled like a little girl being refused chocolate. "Help seal it up for me."

"Fine…" He pushed himself closer to her and gave the artist's atrocious representation of a flower a good long once over.

Shrugging at Olasie's ill-found luck, he grabbed for the long string of tape she pulled out from one of her pockets after smearing a cold adhesive anti-biotic gel over the skin to ensure she'd be fine. Had the tattoo been any higher, he'd have flushed a bright red from touching so dangerously close to her privates.

"Look… you haven't reacted to anything…" he began with a large smile. "You should be fine. We were probably here for hours anyways…"

"JUEL. It's a _TATTOO_." She repeated through an angry hiss. "A real _shit_ one at that."

"It gives you character." He slapped the long strip of square tape right over her thigh before giving it a good pat. "You good?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

"You're welcome." He got up and offered her a hand of which she gladly accepted.

"We have to find the others… how hard can it be to find forty more of us?"

"I don't know… I hope they didn't end up like us?" The stare at the nest they made in the grimey litter.

"Time will tell… let's find out where the hell we are first."

Olasie and Juel, like two kids having lost their parents, walk out from the alley into the street. It seemed they weren't too far from where they had ended up drinking the night away.

"Look… we should just make our way back to dock… our Omni-tools were stolen and I ended up getting a Tattoo probably from some shady place. I'm surprised I didn't _die_."

"You're lucky." He admitted before picking a direction to walk in. "Of all places… your _thigh_… good luck telling that to your boyfriend."

"I don't have one. And STOP reminding me about this thing. Please."

"Okay, okay, okay… fine." He paused at the walkway's corner before pointing in the direction of where the dock was at. "Down this way, from what I remember." They cross the street onto the sidewalk with the occasional passerby walking passed them.

Juel, having now labeled himself to look no better than a drunken loser, shook his head loosely from left to right. Juel fortunately—or rather _unfortunately_—ended up with a partner of which to share the terrible burden of walking up in an alley with a rotting trash receptacle to greet you.

The tattoo on Olasie's leg was bad enough. But he couldn't shake the idea the night before was an adventure _really_ worth forgetting.

"Damnit, Juel… number one rule about tourism is to _never_ lose it for the locals to take advantage of you."

He nodded in agreement before replying. "I don't remember drinking _that_ much. Do you?"

"No… I'm worried about the others." She intoned while crossing her arms.

"There were forty of us… there's _no_ _way_—" Juel caught the sight of one of their own leaning against a pillar as if his life depended on it.

"Prazza?"

"The one and fucking only…" He murmured, never taking care to look at either of them.

"What the hell happened to you?"

"Too… many Turian escaupee shots…" His words were waxed over with nausea.

"Where is everybody?" Olasie asked while leaning on the column herself.

"Inside… getting breakfast… _ugh_… where did you guys go? Where's the rest of you?"

Juel's eyes narrow into slits. "The… rest of us?"

"You had _two_ others with you…" Prazza's hands went up to brush some of the grease that marred his clothing. "Did you lose the bosh… _erhm_… 'tets?"

Olasie and Juel groan after looking to each-other.

"It looks like we did…" She sighed and tried to look behind her in the unlikely scene of seeing two quarian figures walking up from behind them.

"Who were they?"

"Juel… how could you forget?"

"I don't know, Prazza." Juel stared up at the sky and cursed its bright migraine-inducing glow. "We woke up in an alley next to a _dumpster, Prazza_. That should give you an idea of how wasted we got."

"You what?"

"You heard me. We lost our Omni-tools. I had candy stuck to my face, and Olasie ended up getting a tattoo. On her leg."

Prazza's eyebrow curled to an unfashionably high degree. "Keelah, guys… you fucked up."

They all groan simultaneously.

* * *

><p>AN: It was a short chapter. I know.

Most people who reviewed or PM'd last chapter were pretty stunned at what happened.

It was the first time I've ever made a scene like that. Hope you enjoyed it. ;D

Let's hope Juel and Olasie can find the two they lost. :P


	40. Bad Timing

**|Present time.|**

**|DATE: 1-25-2185|**

**|Location: Crescent Nebula/Tasale System/Illium/Vista Cova/Mara Horizon's Luxury Suites/Mansion 14|**

* * *

><p>Tali's Omni-tool rang as she chewed on her mouthful of turian steak.<p>

She stopped chewing and looked down at her omni-tool.

_Why is Prazza calling me? _

John placed his empty plate back onto the breakfast tray before sipping his coffee. "You going to answer that?"

"Yeah." She answered before accepting the call by pressing a button on her omni-bracelet, "...Hello?"

"Hey, It's Juel."

"Juel? What's up?"

"We, uh…" There was a long pause followed by a hoarse sigh, "We fucked up last night."

To hear Juel use a human expletive was surprising. If he used it, it must've been _bad_.

"Juel…? What do you mean? And why aren't you using your own Omni-tool?"

"It got stolen."

"Stolen." Tali repeated flatly.

"Yes, Tali. It's gone."

"Huh. Ironic." She remarked before finally swallowing the last of her meal. She gave John a pursed look, shrugged, and spoke again. "Someone stealing something from a quarian. _Classic_."

Juel took Tali's innate humor with another heavy shake of his head. "Not funny."

"How'd it get stolen?" She put Juel's voice on speaker so John could hear.

"Olasie and I… we got wasted. Woke up in some alley… had to walk our asses back to port before finding Prazza…"

"I don't see why losing an Omni-tool is that bad… just get another one."

"It's not just that…" He grumbled while he shook his head and bit his lip, "There were two others with us."

He turned to face Olasie rubbing the back of her neck. "We lost them in the city."

"You _**can't**_ be serious. _Juel_. That's bad. Two drunk quarians in Illium is not, under any circumstance, a safe thing…" Tali's fingers begin to chaff the forefront of her nose, "Juel… they could be hurt… or signed into indentured servitude… or—"

"I get it! I know! We're already looking for them."

"Who exactly did you lose?"

"Talukh and Hishe…"

"Olasie lost _half_ her squad?"

"Yeah…" Juel groped the back of his own neck awkwardly, "Did I mention Olasie got a tattoo on her leg also?" The sound of a slap could be heard over the phone followed by a slur of swearing from Olasie.

Whatever Tali had been drinking went down the wrong pipe. "What? Juel? What the _hell_?"

"Keelah, Tali. I told you we fucked up alright? Jebus."

"It's Jesus." Shepard piped up while clearing his throat.

"Whatever." Juel snapped back with a retched groan, "Shepard? You got to help us out."

"I'll give the authorities a call... hopefully we can find out what the hell happened to you guys and find out where they are." John replied with a grim looking frown. Juel and Olasie would have to let go of whatever remained of their dignity for this one. If Vista Cova's surveillance cameras caught them in their drunken stupor, which they no doubt did, it'd be worthy for the news to catch wind of. The ex-spectre could only imagine the headlines that would soon follow after.

'QUARIAN DRUNKARDS CAUGHT HUMPING ELCOR OUTSIDE BAR. AWKWARD INNUENDOS TOWARD INNOCENT BYSTANDERS ENSUE.'

As funny as that headline would be… it'd woudn't be good. Hopefully it wasn't going to end that badly.

"Thank you." Juel mumbled, "I have to go… we're going back to the alley we woke up out of to see if we can trace our steps… for however helpful that'll be. I don't remember anything from last night."

'Wish it'd stay that way' murmured Olasie not too far behind Juel.

"We'll be heading back into town, Juel. We'll meet with you soon after we get John and I run some errands." Tali said before frowning.

How Olasie, a senior member of Prazza's platoon, or more importantly, her _neighbor_ on the Neema, took it _this_ far was beyond her.

Was anyone in Prazza's platoon even remotely sober anymore? Or did they all get drunk?

She shook her head and sighed.

She was surprised the number of MIA's hadn't been far higher with how Juel was explaining it.

She shook her head and sighed.

Before she could speculate any further on the matter, Juel spoke. "Fine. I'll message you whenever I can. Just tell me when you're coming into town."

"Okay." She ended the call after she gave John a long shake of her head.

"One problem after another… I don't remember the last time anything ending smoothly."

"The story of my life, Tali." He muttered before taking a gulp of coffee and nodding bitterly, "The story of my life."

* * *

><p><strong>|Several hours later...|<strong>

If Tali could whistle, it'd _definitely_ be now.

John, awkwardly, yanked the curtains aside before showing off the pricey Exo-suit he wore. He decided to keep the color scheme neutral (Grays and Blacks) but relented to having Tali pick out a 'Realk' (as she called it) with a classy piece of red and white striping.

He looked _nothing_ like a typical quarian.

For one, the amount of fingers he had would be an _excellent_ indicator for disqualification.

That and his legs were _way_ too straight for it to be normal.

But that just made it _exotic_.

Tali could only hope he wouldn't be swept under a high-tide current of flirtatious quarian women looking for something a little out of the ordinary.

_Ugh_…

She'd have none of it. She'd push her mate away before hissing and sputtering in much the same way her distant ancestors would if she had to. Embarrassing or not, it'd make a clear signal to 'back the _hell_ off'.

"How do I look?" He fixed the 'Realk' around his helmet carefully.

_"ooooh." _She nodded happily and slid an arm around his, "_Really_ good. _Great_ butt, John. Straight legs…_mhmm_."

He rolled his eyes before stepping in front of a mirror. "_Yeah, yeah." _He mocked lightly against her obnoxious flirts, "I'm surprised they'd even have a shop like this on Illium… and to have quarian accessories here too…?"

She nodded absently in agreement. It was true. The suit John was wearing was intended for long periods of exposure to worlds considered 'unlivable'. The stuff miners and die-hard archaeologists wore. Stuff they knew they'd be wearing for weeks to months on end. They even had package deals with 'convenient' accessories; like eating, breathing…

Or some of the unspoken things.

Like pissing.

Or shitting.

Tali even noticed on the brochure, which had been procured at the front of the store, that the Exo-suit, if purchased with a product bundle, would come with a 'Levo-friendly laxative supplement, a catheter attachment with invasive/non-invasive inserts, and a list of liquidized food with a 'wide variety of _Great Tasting Flavors!_'.

She shook her head slowly during the entire read. John was going to have quite the wakeup call.

Nothing he couldn't _suck up through a straw._

Ha.

She smiled stupidly at her sorry ass of a joke.

"Should I even wear a Realk over my suit? Doesn't that look a little… _weird_? I'm not quarian."

"Nonsense!" She snapped happily with a single pronounced snort before closing the brochure in her hands, "When you're on the Neema, John? With me? You'll be glad that you'll be wearing one… it'll give you a sense of individuality."

"Tali, I was in the military."

"Doesn't count. You still got to keep your face."

"Fair enough. If you say it looks good, then it looks good." He shrugged before letting an unseen smile loose. He had to admit. The N7's equivalent of a Realk did look quite flattering. Well... it wasn't exactly an 'N7' Realk. It just reminded him of it. He shook his head and shrugged inwardly.

The last thing he needed was some cross-species incident about culture mixing a quarian article of clothing on a Human.

Earlier, during the ride to the shop, John tried to convince her that he should just keep the Alliance special-issue armor he had now. His justification for keeping it remained sound until she gave him a list of reasons why it _wasn't_ a good idea.

He was completely convinced by the time Tali got to explaining that his skin would look like Joker's leg cast from his accident in the bathroom back on the SR1.

"You better not show me off, either." He chided finally with a minor half-serious laugh.

"I won't…" She rolled her eyes before crossing her arms, "…probably."

"Tali."

She answered the long drawn-out pronunciation of her name by patting him on the shoulder with a wide split-lipped grin.

"Should we give the police another call?" John asked as he stepped back into the changing room.

"They said they would call us whenever they would find something." She replied while dividing her attention with the large selection of colorful _Realks_ beside her. Her eyes darted wildly at the vivid display.

"I guess." He shrugged before separating the section seals lined across his body.

"Need help?" Tali asked while peeking at the crack in the curtain.

"Nope. I can handle it, hun." He put his pointer against her visor and slowly pushed away until her helmet fell out of view.

"You _sure_?" Her head returned back to the peep hole.

"I am _very_ sure." His beaming smile ended when his neck seal pinched his skin, "OwOwOw. _Fuck_ that hurts. _Ow_!"

"I _have_ been wearing one my whole life." She continued with a sigh in spite of his obvious grumbles of pain. She yanked the curtain aside before crossing her arms and sticking out a hip. "Sure you don't need help, huneey?"

He swallowed his pride and nodded. "Yeah. I—I need help."

Her gloved hands deftly separate the clamps correctly before tossing them into the container next to him.

"Need help putting on your pants too?" She slapped his butt and smiled. He rolled his eyes and put on an ambitious smile while shaking his head at her 'charming' innuendos.

"I love you."

"I love you too John."

Five minutes had passed before he buttoned his flat-front khakis. He gave the pants an odd look before putting on his shirt.

He wondered why he bought them at all. It wasn't like he'd be wearing civilian clothes again anytime soon. He shrugged before carefully folding his purchase into the container with Tali latching the buckles.

"Oh. I'm getting a call from the Police…" John mumbled before thumbing his Omni-tool, "Hello?"

"Hi, this is Arah at Vista Cova's police department. I'm trying to get a hold of Mr. Shepard?" John made his way up to the front of the counter with Tali pulling out a credit chit to purchase the Exo-Suit.

"Yes. Speaking." Shepard stated as Tali conversed with the clerk.

"We've found your friends. They're waiting here at the station."

"Are they okay?" John eyed Tali, nodded, and gave her a thumbs up.

"They're drunk, nauseous… and very, very, dirty. Other than that… they're fine."

"That's great news, Arah. I'll be there soon. Sorry for your trouble."

"It's what I do. We'll see you soon, sir. Take care."

"Bye." John ended the call and let out a hoarse breath.

It was good to know they weren't dead.

"They found them?"

"Damn straight they did." He shook his head, "Let's hope they didn't make a total ass of themselves last night. I'm sure they'll have something aired on the news later tonight."

"Don't remind me." Her hand brushed lazily across her visor.

"Don't need to tell me twice." He mumbled in agreement when he shouldered the small case.

"Then we should get going then."

They waved good-bye to the Volus store keeper before stepping out onto the busy streets of Vista Cova.

Before long, they were speeding down the airway to VCPD's station to finally get a hold of the two sorry sots who'd drunken themselves to total stupidity.

John shook his head lowly and tried to let a smile come through the bitter expression.

If John were still under Alliance command and if these were _his_ marines… they'd have a _lot_ of explaining to do. Hell… _he'd_ have a lot of explaining to do. He doubted his superiors would be happy knowing he had four of his own under his command go AWOL/MIA over a couple hard drinks.

"I know what you're thinking." Tali began without ever turning to regard him. She continued staring out the window to get a good view of the City below.

"What am I thinking?"

"About what you would have done if this happened to the soldiers under you…" She finally faced him and played with the edges of the crate in-between them, "That and you were probably going to ask me what kind of disciplinary action Prazza and his marines will receive."

_Two years and she still can read me like a manual._

"Am I really _that_ transparent?" He asked while tucking his arms at his sides.

"Only when you want to be." She replied curtly, "It's up to Prazza to punish them… but I doubt he will... He's probably just as guilty."

"I hope it's a lesson for them… next time… they might not be so lucky."

"True… But they deserved the rest, John."

"No argument there. They just need to be more careful."

She nodded absently before letting her gaze fall back out the window.

"Hey, Tali…? You know, I was just wondering, when exactly did you start calling me John?"

She turned back around to face him with a crooked brow.

"Uhm… I don't know…? Why bring it up now?"

He shrugged and smiled at her. "I was just thinking about it all of a sudden…"

"Well…" She pat her hands against her lap and chewed on her lip, "I mean… I did call you John sometimes even before 'us'. I just called you Shepard sometimes too."

She shook her head . "I can't imagine calling you Shepard now. It would sound... _way_ too professional..."

He smirked and nodded to himself. "Yeah… you're right. John's just fine, Tals. I'd prefer it that way."

"Well, since we're on an unrelated topic… I was wondering when you'd actually be going to see your mom and dad…" Tali chirped a little nervously and wrung some of her fingers together.

"Well... I haven't put much thought into it, really... Whenever the time presents itself, I suppose." John said before cracking his knuckles, "Soon, I hope… and I'd absolutely love for you to meet them. They'd love you, Tali."

"Heh…" She laughed anxiously and pried her hands apart before fiddling with the taxi's door handle.

"Don't worry hun. It won't be for a while." He pat her thigh to try and calm down the antsy quarian.

"Look… we're here." Tali pointed to the Police station with a gleeful eye as they set down against one of the many landing pads for sky cars.

John paid the robotic taxi its fare before stepping out onto the humid air with Tali already waiting outside.

"Whoah… it's _hot_." He put on his sunglasses (which he had also purchased from earlier today) before giving a good long stare at the wavy heat simmering off the car they just stepped out of.

"Come on, hun. Let's hurry up and get them so we can go. I'd rather not spend too much of my time here."

"Okay." She suddenly seized his hand and clenched it into a vice.

_"Ow… Tali…?" He faced her angry glare that she kept resolutely forward. _

_"Liara. Is. In. There."_ The malice that suddenly dripped from Tali's tongue carried enough weight to ground a skyscraper.

Sure enough, when John peered through the police station's windows, he saw Liara standing at the receptionist desk speaking to Talukh and Hishe.

John's audible gulp fell on deaf ears.

It seemed the storm had enough time brewing.

Shit was about to go down… and with John in the middle of it.

Fuck.


	41. Follow Up

A/N: Wanted to make a small announcement.

There's a GREAT Novel/FanFiction on FF that I'm giving some praise to here. The Author is FsDxRAGE and the Story is _Deception_ and its sequel _Aurora_ Prophecy.

I'd **_seriously_ **recommend reading it. Great story, great plot, and equally amazing Characters in the Mass Effect Universe.

* * *

><p>Liara felt a curt jab on her shoulder.<p>

Turning around to the source of the offending finger, she saw Tali and John moments before getting a daggered glare that would, and quite possibly, gut here right then and there. Liara was honestly surprised it wasn't a two fingered fist to viciously kiss her face instead.

"…Tali." Liara stammered while chaffing both her fingers together callously.

"I…" She turned to Shepard with hardly a smile on her face. Liara was hoping when she finally saw John, it wouldn't be under a sea of frothing anger. Her words liquefy and simmer into the air.

John stepped up, put a hand on Tali's shoulder, and gave Liara an apologetic look.

John's hand pressed slightly harder into her shoulder to try and stave off the quarian's temper. The ex-Spectre could, quite literally, feel it radiating through her bones.

The other two quarians stare awkwardly between the three while idly picking at the stains that pocked and marked their clothes.

"Liara…" John acknowledged her with an abrupt nod.

Tali muttered (with a hiss no less) something garbled while her rubber gloves made this griping sound that reminded Liara of choking someones neck. If she were to guess, those gloves wanted to be around hers.

Liara gulped and subconsciously rubbed her throat with a clammy palm.

"How'd you know we'd be here?" John began with a frown. Liara was quick to give a reply.

"I'm an Information broker, John." She shot Tali a glance, "**_That_** and the aired news about your… '_confrontation'_ with Tali yesterday at the South-Star."

"I meant every word, you dirty rot headed Tet'shuct."

Liara's gaze wandered to the floor; Tali's insult ignored. "I would have come sooner if I had known you were coming to Illium… It's… good to see you again, John."

"Likewise Liara... But you have a lot of explaining to do." His lines of worry crease his forehead, _"A lot."_

He drew the asari in for a hug and suddenly felt a large salvo of laser beams trying to carve a hole into the back of his head. The burning sensation, as John guessed, was probably from Tali's eyes.

He willfully separated himself from the friendly embrace before putting a fist over his mouth to awkwardly clear his throat. John turned to face the two 'not-so-sober' quarians.

"Hishe… Talukh… go ahead and go outside. Wait by our Taxi."

"O..okay."

"Yeah… You got it, Shepard."

Tali inwardly growled at the relatively distressed asari in front of John.

Had they been anywhere else besides a police station?

Liara would've gotten a lovely set of black eyes that would probably outmatch even the classiest forms of eye shadow.

And a swollen crotch from a full swing, two toed, kick. With luck, it'd be more painful that giving birth.

John's gaze remain fixed on the two quarians shuffling awkwardly across the lobby before giving Liara another hard edged look.

He wasn't disappointed in the least… but he needed to show that he wasn't exactly happy about the situation either. Namely for Tali's sake.

"Look... this isn't the place nor is it the time to discuss whatever's happened between you two."

Liara nodded vigorously in agreement.

"Yes."

Tali's gloves chaff harder against the bone-breaking grip she held around nothing.

Just as Tali was about to give Liara a good piece of her mind, John placed a hand around her shoulder again and squeezed.

"Tali..." He tugged at her deltoid, "This can be discussed later."

Tali approached the blue-shit and forced a chubby finger against Liara's plump breast. "Don't think you're out of this. _Ever_."

Liara eyed the offending finger before looking back to the opaque glass mere inches from her nose.

"I can understand why you're mad, Tali... but that doesn't mean it's a good reason to be." the Asari murmured with an even tone. Liara's brow furrowed slightly and shook her head subtly from left to right.

It took sleepless nights…

and sacrifice.

and _dedication_.

and _perseverance _to find John.

She willingly forged an alliance with the hands of those who tampered with fate like gods trifling with pawns on a chess board.

Liara's spirits further glowered.

She did it for the Galaxy.

For Shepard.

And, more importantly, Tali.

_She did it for Tali._

And all she did was shout and spit words Liara wished she'd never heard.

Granted, Liara knew she didn't handle it perfectly… but she didn't know the repercussions would be _this_ bad.

The quarian scoffed loudly enough for a nearby law enforcement officer to hear. The condescending snort was soon followed after with a deeply sarcastic and mirthless laugh.

"Two years, Liara. _Two. Years._ I thought he was _dead_." Her vocalizer hovers over her Liara's lips menacingly. Tali could almost feel the shallow sucks of breath liara took, "I deserved to know. Everyone did. I asked. I **_pleaded_** with you to tell me."

Liara's shirt rumples from the two fists that grab her collar. "You made me suffer knowing that John was going to be well and **_alive_**!"

"Is there a problem, here?" Another asari police officer approached John with both her hands settled onto her wide hips.

"No." John said between a long and drawn out sigh. Tali's daggered glare remains transfixed on Liara.

"You _sure_? Because I'm about to sepera-"

"I think a former Spectre can handle this, thank you."

"Up to you pal... but as soon as your quarian friend here spills some blood, I won't be responsible for cleaning up the mess."

Tali did indeed snort at the unintentional compliment.

"Tali. We don't have time for this."

"John. You have _no_ idea."

"I don't. But you know this isn't right."

"John. You. Have. _NO_. Idea." She repeated.

"Maybe, maybe not. But we have responsibilities to take care of. And those take priority." To patronize his point, he placed a thumb behind him to the two quarians waiting outside.

Tali let go of her collar, turned around, and nodded once before walking out of the station to the patiently waiting taxi.

"Liara. Sorry." John breathed with a small shake of his head.

_Partial shit storm averted..._

"Don't be... I probably deserve it."

"That's still remains to be seen. I wish we had more time to talk... but I have a lot to do."

There was a brief moment of silence while Liara nodded several times.

"Was it wrong?" Liara's eyes glisten with moisture at the question.

"What do you mean?"

"N... nevermind. Go. Keep in contact. If you ever need my help, don't hesitate to call me on my Omni-tool. Same number as always."

"I will..." He gave a single decisive nod, "I'll see you around Liara... and thank you for bailing out our two friends here."

"They signed themselves into indentured servitude, actually... I managed to buy them just in time." Liara's hands reveal two crushed contracts, "Brought them here so we could lawfully dispose of these."

"Liara... thank you. You saved us a lot of trouble."

"I did... I was the highest bidder at the auction. If I hadn't gotten there when I did... You might not have had them now."

"I'll make sure to tell Tali that. It was good to see you."

"Thank you. Good-bye, John."

And with that, Shepard walked out of the station's building before meeting up with the three quarian's waiting by the air car.

* * *

><p>The ride to port was quieter than John liked. He kept his head forward, while tapping thoughtlessly at the steering wheel to an equally thoughtless tune. He decided it best to distract his thoughts by driving the taxi himself instead of the automated machine that sat in-between the center console.<p>

The two that sat in the back constantly rubbed at the sides of their helmets with the occasional groan to remind them of their nausea.

More importantly was Tali, whose legs and arms remained crossed with her eyes aimlessly wandering at the day's pearly stars and passing air cars.

"Do you know when we're leaving?" John asked to stir up some kind of conversation.

"In a couple hours." Tali murmured between a low sigh, "Turn right here."

John complied.

"You know..." He put a subtle laugh in-between his words, "...I think Liara near pissed herself."

"She should've. Shame doesn't even come close to what she deserves."

"Was it really that bad, Tali?"

"More than you can imagine."

A gruff voice spoke behind John.

"Shepard. Quarian women are absolutely _crazy_ over their mates. You should know that by now."

Tali huffed and nodded silently. In spite of Talukh's well-made point, it still deserved a glare worthy of melting rocks.

Talukh shrugged before pointing at the window for John to take a left.

"So I heard you guys accidentally signed yourselves into slavery." John began.

"Yeah..." Hishe spoke up this time and forced another wave of nausea down.

_"What?"_ Tali severed her glossy stare to the two seated behind her with eyes as wide as the driver window.

"Yeah... Liara bought us at the auction..."

"How much were you bought for?"

"Eh..." They both clumsily fiddle with their fingers and necks, "Not as much as we were expecting..."

"Two-hundred." Hishe said.

"Two Hundred Thousand?" Tali asked.

"No…" Hishe wrung her neck even harder, "Just two hundred."

Tali silently grumbled and fumed. Being sold into slavery in and of itself was humiliating, cruel, evil, and wicked... but it was downright _embarrassing_ to get sold at a price worth less than the average Omni-Service bill.

"That's it?" John's brow crooked, "You'd expect the prices to be a little higher... I mean... you guys are quarian."

"We were drunk." Hishe murmured.

"And we looked like shit." Talukh added.

"Both valid points."

"How'd you end up signing yourself into indentured servitude?"

"Don't remember... the, uh… details are a little vague." Talukh said with a frown.

"We should make an effort to keep it that way." Hissed Hishe.

"Better make up a story to Prazza then." Tali sighed with the wave of her hand.

John put a hand onto her lap and gave the thigh a good pat.

"Don't worry hun. Everything will be better soon." He gave her a wink and pulled the air car down to port.

"I know." She said with a small and partly forced smile, "Everything will be better soon. I'm glad things turned out better than we expected." She shook her head and turned to face her fellow quarians, "I called it by the way; about you signing yourself into slavery. Idiots. Both of you."

* * *

><p>It had been a <em>very<em> bad day, to say the least.

It all started when Sidonis, who'd been munching on a helping of sandwich meat happily, realized the offending plastic in his back pocket (Which had been constantly irritating his back side when sitting down) was really a tracking device with the words 'Fuck you Archangel :)' written on it instead of his wallet. The stare Sidonis gave Garrus, who accompanied him for the meal, was completely deadpanned. He couldn't blame him. Sidonis was at a loss of words just as much as he was.

Things spiraled downward from there.

When their first trip wire went off, they knew 'shit was going to hit the fan.' (As Gregg Folly would've said.)

Garrus, along with the rest of his team, stared out at their respective perches at the site below to prepare for the coming siege...

Only to come across a sight they were **_not_ **expecting.

Men and women, clad in white armor, marched across the bridge from the burning buildings behind them.

Soon enough, Garrus recognized, through a long drawn out sigh, that Miranda woman, the one in _Cerberus_, was leading them.

Before long, she was standing in front of him with her hand outward for him to shake.

He reciprocated the gesture.

He wasn't going to be rude.

They _did_ just save their asses.

"Lawson… that's the name, right?"

"Correct, Mr. Vakarian."

The Turian's brows lower in slight surprise.

In spite of his best efforts to drown his tracks… Cerberus still had their tabs on him.

Then again, what was supposed to expect?

Being in contact with Liara, the one who'd kept Garrus in the loop about Cerberus and Shepard, was, obviously, going to get him shadowed by them.

But like Garrus said, he wasn't in a position to be an asshole.

"I, uh... certainly wasn't expecting such a welcoming party." Garrus intoned with a slight cough. Miranda ordered her men to secure the building's local perimeter before speaking.

"Shepard is alive and well. We're here to recruit you, Mr. Vakarian."

"Straight to the point, I see…" His disparaged voice fell several decibels. Miranda could tell it was a growl of dissatisfaction. "Where is he?"

"Shepard is on Illium with Ms. Zorah and Dr. T'soni."

"Spirits... that's _not_ good." He shook his head and managed to look at his tired team of misfits looking suspiciously at the Cerberus commandos taking stock around their immediate perimeter.

"Not good at all. Tali and Liara… together? ...after all this?"

"How so?"

"Tali's got some _sharp_ bones against Liara…" His gaze fell and looked back behind him, "You know… because she was kept in the dark about Shepard?"

"We're… aware of that. The implications were unfortunate, but necessary. The less people that knew, the better."

"Not in my book." The Turian's fingers twitched slightly at the idea of hurling his rifle around like a bat the same way he did to Saren a couple years back.

Good times.

"And certainly not in Tali's." Both of his mandibles droop as he prepared for what Joker had taught him to say when people _really_ screwed up. "You done _fucked_ up, Ms. Lawson."

"Right in the knockers, that one. Surprised to hear that from you Arch." Exclaimed Gregg Folly with a little more enthusiasm than expected.

Sidonis gave the English accented human a long sideways glance before mumbling to the man to shut-up.

If she was taken aback by the crude remark, she didn't show it. "Be as it may, we still have a job to do. We're preparing for evacuation, Mr. Vakarian. Your team is more than welcome aboard our ship."

"I'm not going anywhere with you. Nor will my team." Garrus said as respectfully as possible.

"You're aware of the Collectors, yes?"

Garrus' eyes widened in surprise while his fingers flexed instinctively around his gun.

He glanced behind him and stared at the dark corner behind him warily.

It'd been _nearly_ a week since he thought about them… usually there wasn't a day that went by without him dwelling on those dreadful week on Ullipses.

His eyes shudder.

"What… what about them?"

"They're on the move. And they're abducting _entire_ human colonies."

Garrus suddenly remembered hearing about that. He shook off the weird notion (In no small part to willful ignorance) when he realized the related article came from a sleazy tabloid wrought with Omega's celebrities and pictures of promiscuous aliens of about every race (Hanar included) screwing each other in large rooms.

All at the same time, he might add.

"Does Shepard know about this?"

"Much. But as I mentioned, he went to Illium with Ms. Zorah, however."

"How'd he go with Tali to Illium?"

Jacob intervened with a simple hand on Miranda's shoulder. "Long story short, we met on Freedom's Progress; the latest city to go dark. We've found definitive proof the collectors are behind the abductions."

"Are we meeting up with them later?"

"We're working on that."

It was Garrus' turn to cross his arms across his chest. "So Shepard _left_ you guys…"

Jacob nodded, scratched the stubble on his chin before taking another step closer to the turian. "Look. It sounds crazy."

"It is."

"I know… I'm trying to make a point here." Jacob took a deep breath, gave Miranda a quick glance, and spoke. "Yes. We're Cerberus. We eat babies and shit. As bad as that sounds, we're here because we're trying to _stop_ the Collectors… we're trying to convince John to join us… but it looks like he'll be going to the Flotilla with Tali'Zorah to get things figured out first."

"How can I trust you?" Garrus eyed the black man with a steady eye. Garrus was a good judge of character. Being a cop did that.

Jacob definitely was not a baby eater.

"You'll… have to see for yourself."

"If I go with you… my team can go?"

"If they're willing."

Many of his team shook their heads. "Arch… we have family. We can't just up and go."

"And don't think we owe them just because they just got done saving our arses. We coulda' handled 'em." Yelled Gregg.

Garrus turned back around to Jacob. "Did you clean house?"

"We have two Hammerheads out there with another platoon of men outside establishing a perimeter. Any sorry ass that was planning on killing you is dead."

Garrus mouthed a small thank you so Gregg couldn't hear. "If you came a couple hours late… I don't think we'd be here. Could you get an estimate on how many numbers were in the assault?"

"Close to two hundred contacts, Archangel. Most of them were in the buildings we leveled with charges."

Garrus let out a hoarse air of breath.

Yeah… they definitely wouldn't have survived.

Miranda stepped up next to Jacob and offered a potential solution. "Their families can be situated at a Cerberus facility for safety. If that isn't an option, we can always find them a new place to live."

Gregg, and another human, Skyles, were the first to raise their heads at the proposition.

"You would really do that? If we help you, I mean?"

"Absolutely. You'll be provided with a salary and allowance for your families. No questions asked."

Gregg stepped up to the plate with the biggest and most sincere smile a man could make. "I'm fuckin' in! Baby eatin' or not!"

Skyler nodded erratically. "Same here. I'm ready to get my family off this freakin' rotting hell hole. This is _not_ the place to raise a family."

Jacob and Miranda both smiled. This was turning out _a lot _better than they expected. Getting Archangel was the objective… but getting to recruit his _entire_ team?

Even freaking better.

Garrus shook his head several times from left to right before finally walking over to stand by his right-side man.

"Sidonis… what do you think?"

"They're terrorists."

"I know… but would they really go all this way just to lie to us? They may be bad… but they're doing something right."

"_They're_ _terrorists_." He repeated a little harsher this time.

"We have the chance to do something bigger and _better_, Sidonis. As much good as we do here… it wouldn't compare to saving _entire_ colonies from the Collectors…"

"When Cerberus asked you to help them the first time, you refused without a second glance… why the change in heart, Garrus?"

Garrus closed his eyes and gave out his reason. "This is different… It doesn't have to make sense, but we've been given the opportunity to right bigger wrongs than what we're doing now."

Garrus' mandible nearly brushes Sidonis' as a way to whisper near his ear. "_And_ I have the shaking feeling that the Collectors could somehow be related to the Reapers."

"You said that a million times… Spirits, Garrus, you always mention that _yellow_—"

"—_fiery figure_ that said things Reapers say. _Damn_ straight I've mentioned it a million times."

"I trust you, Garrus, with my life… if you think this is the right choice… then I'll be right behind you."

Garrus put a rough hand on Sidonis' shoulder. "Thank you, Lantar."

Jugath, the Batarian explosive expert, spoke behind both of them with the other two Salarians and Krogan.

"Same here, Archangel. We're all in."

Garrus nodded.

Garrus turned to Jacob with an adamant stare. "Fine… We're in."

* * *

><p><strong>|Hours Later…|<strong>

To say the least, Prazza was _not_ happy. Disciplinary action, however, would remain out of the circle.

(Only because Prazza didn't want to look like a giant whopping hypocrite.)

"Question, Tali." John muttered quietly as they walk along the ramp into their ship.

"Yes?" She said from behind him.

"When we get to the Neema? Where am I going to sleep?"

"John. You'll be living with me. We'll be sharing my room." Her eyes crease for her giant giddy smile.

"_Really_ now?"

Tali's smile beams at him. The idea of cuddling John every night…

Oooh…

_Hope he's okay with some over the suit action…_

"Tali?"

"Uh—Y… yes! What's wrong with that?"

"Absolutely nothing, hun." He took one last look out the door before closing the hatch behind him, "So everyone's on board?"

"Prazza and Juel checked to make sure. Everyone's on."

Dull thunderous sounds of magnetic clamps could be heard releasing their ship.

They both silently walk down the hallway into the conference table and take seats next to each other while some quarians mill about in the hallway.

"The suit's _oddly_ comfy." John began with a small smile. He got a wave from Juel that walked by.

"It's expensive. It _supposed_ to feel comfortable." Tali said as she acknowledged Juel with a nod.

"Another question… You have any upcoming missions? Like this one?"

"Actually… yes… But not here, John. I can't speak of it out loud here… you know… classified information."

"It must be really important."

"Yeah… it kinda is… I actually want to use that as an ice-breaker between you and my dad..? If that's okay?"

John gulped.

"…Doesn't your dad think I'm dead?"

"Yeah… it's going to be really weird explaining that."

"That's undermining it, Tali."

She stared at him for long moment and gave him the biggest shrug of her life.

"As John'Shepard would say: 'Time will only tell'." She mimicked his voice with a terribly deep and raspy one.

The imitation was awful.

He lightly shoved her into the chair before rolling his eyes.

"I love you too, John." She remarked with a slight giggle.


	42. News of Arrival

**Several hours later…**

The first night sleeping in a suit wasn't nearly as bad as John expected it to be.

Well… he'd slept in armor before. Longest streak of sleeping in gear was around a month. And that was from training at ICT. Everything else, with the exception of Akuze and some odd skirmishes (Mainly with pirates and terrorists), had been good enough to spend his sleep cycle on a ship with his pair of boots and socks scattered about his quarters.

But those missions _paled_ in comparison to his campaign against Saren.

_Even then_, it wasn't as 'intense' as the vids made it out to be. Shepard, the savior of the Citadel, wasn't 'battling day in and day out' until he got 'Saren's head'.

Sure, the number of missions increased exponentially when he shouldered the responsibility of being a Spectre. But, when there weren't any leads on finding the indoctrinated sap (Or Sovereign for that matter), he was spending his leave mostly at the Citadel.

He'd sample the local food, exercise, plan for the days ahead, and have dinner with Tali. If they had enough time (Which they usually did), the two would go sightseeing and browse through some of the nearby stores for things that would catch their eye.

Earlier in the days of hunting Saren, John made an admirable attempt at conjuring the crew to go out to for some 'ice-breaking' activities.

It soon became clear, after many failed attempts; his team had their own ideas of going about their shore leave.

He yawned softly and stared reverently at Tali whose head had been completely covered by their worn comforter. Why she used the thing was beyond him…

As Ironic as it was to see the young woman, stripped bare of her boots and clipped pockets, cloaked under a pale chocolate colored blanket fluffed with clumpy fistfuls of synthetic cotton ( a testament to poor washing and cheap fabric)… didn't make it any less adorable to watch.

The hotel back at Vista Cova was _way_ better. He shrugged and continued his aimless pondering.

Kaiden and Ashley still had direct ties with the Alliance and were regularly dissected by them for constant updates and debriefings. The brass actually _kept_ John from attending the debriefings; mostly because of electoral censorship and other politically correct reasons that were beyond him.

Not that he openly complained about it.

After that, they'd usually hit up some bars before dumping their weekly allowance on expensive-as-shit wine and getting a nice hotel to sleep in for the night.

John scoffed a bit as he made an ill-made effort to rub the sleep from his eyes.

_Visor_… right.

Garrus and Liara usually went off on their own with 'eat-shit' grins on their pleased and crinkled faces.

That left Wrex and Tali.

Wrex was already out of the question.

When the Commander tried to invite the krogan to dinner with him and Tali, he looked more tempted to squish his head rather than shake his hand. With that kind of motivation, John was inclined to agree on his refusal of invitation.

Wrex really preferred spending his time at the range while rebuking other shooters with sarcastically astute observations on their respective weapons and posture. When he wasn't at the range, he was drinking at the local under-kept bar, or attending piss hard combat-simulators.

John smiled as he finally stood from his bed before shuffling lazily across the room to the door.

Naturally, since the others were so busy doing their own thing and because her schedule was free, Tali would tag along with him for shore leave. She'd happily follow him anywhere with a bright smile and giddy step.

A soft mumbled, but happy, sigh left John lips as he took a moment to look at Tali sleeping one more time.

His groggy yawn and sleepy eyes nagged for him to go back to bed… but he wanted to know how far out they were before meeting up with the Migrant Fleet.

The site of over 50,000 space craft crossing over a looming nebula was something to behold… and he really didn't want to miss out on such an amazing display.

Prazza was the first person John crossed with.

"Hey." The Commander greeted with a monotone rasp.

"Commander." Prazza acknowledged him with a nod.

"—Hate to ask… but where are we?"

"Another twenty minutes or so before exit out of FTL and hit up the Flotilla." Prazza 's frown was placated with a light sigh.

"Oh yeah? Okay… where's Juel?"

"Down in the cargo bay preparing the freight we bought. You should actually go down and meet him... get your things organized and ready for departure. It won't be long."

"Okay… will do. Thanks." Prazza turned back around to face the port with a tired eye.

John passed by his room once more before rounding the corner to a flight of stairs. Taking them two at a time, he reached the storage bay and saw Juel writing something on a data pad while hovering over a small box of Stak-aid packets.

"John… good. I needed you." Juel put on his most sincere smile before thumbing one of the boxes behind him.

"Hey. What's up? Need any help?"

"Some extra hands would be great." He shrugged, "Your stuff… where do you want it?"

"Wherever is best for you guys." John replied.

When John didn't get a reply, he turned around to face Juel.

The quarian, for a long moment, watched the foreign piece of plastic that suddenly caught his eye. With his pointer and thumb, he carefully peeled the sticky candy wrapper from his elbow that'd been probably glued on his arm since leaving Illium.

It was clear that Juel was not amused.

"Uhm… Over there." Juel pointed to a corner before flicking the plastic piece of crap over his shoulder.

"So, what's up?" John asked timidly before walking to his food stores and equipment.

"My head hurts. A lot." Juel replied kindly.

"I can imagine. How is Hishe and Talukh doing?"

The quarian shook his head several times before replying. "They're lucky. Having a headache would have been the least of their problems had T'soni not showed up when she did."

"Very true."

"How's Tali?"

"She's sleeping."

"You guys have a rough night as well?"

John immediately rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

_Yes. It was very rough. _

"Uh… yeah. Wine. A bit too much."

"Commander…"

"You can call me Shepard."

"Shepard… wine sounds a little romantic." Juel glowered.

"Yeah. It was." John stuttered. He set down some of his parcels and fetched for some more.

"Well, If Tali enjoyed the drink, that's good."

John decided it best to change the subject. "Hey, Juel. Another question."

"Go ahead."

"What should I expect when we arrive at the Neema? About the peoples' reaction to me, I mean."

Juel's head swiveled upward to stare at the ceiling before shrugging."

"You know… I'm not really sure. We're a pretty insular people… we don't look down on other races… but we certainly don't praise them either. If you prove your worth, they won't care what you look like or how you bleed."

"We both bleed red."

"True. Very true."

"You know anything about Tali's dad?"

"Not too much. He's… an interesting man."

"I can only fathom." John grumbled callously. A quarian walked across the cargo bay with her fingers outstretched in such a way that could only indicate having a story worth being told. John guessed she must've been speaking about their drinking binge the day before.

Three others followed while pitching in their own experiences of drinking in public while bobbing their heads simultaneously in agreement. Blinking lights from their vocalizers showed they were laughing. He inwardly shrugged and turned back to Juel.

"Don't get too worked up. He's very aware of your accomplishments. He'll take those into account… but I'm not really sure of what his opinion is of… quarians with non-quarians."

"He can get over it." John stated through a grim frown. The repercussions that could follow from arguing with a quarian Admiral and his daughter were anything less than foreboding. It frightened him.

Juel faced John full on. "That's _exactly_ what you should say if the time comes. Anything less, and you wouldn't deserve her."

John nodded and appraised the man's odd compliment. "Amen to that brother."

Juel saluted the Commander as casually as possible before resuming his work with a frail smile.

"How well do you think the others took to hearing about the Cerberus operatives at Freedom's Progress?"

"Can't really offer an opinion on that. Prazza certainly didn't much care to hearing it… I think he's pretty pissed actually."

"Yeah? Shit. I kinda like the guy too."

"I heard Prazza lost some _good_ friends with what Cerberus did. If he knew any earlier with them there? Keelah, John, I don't know. The outcome wouldn't have been good."

"Do you think he trusts me?" John's bulk sat heavily on his boxed food.

"Can't say for sure. Sorry." Juel shrugged again, "But that attack Cerberus did was pretty damned personal. It was actually for the best he—…**_we_** didn't know until now."

"It wouldn't have been fair if I hadn't told you." John said.

Juel agreed, nodded, and further added to John's point.

"That… and it would've been odd having a human Alliance naval officer, for no ostensible reason, join us."

"I was getting around to that." Shepard couldn't help but roll his eyes at Juel's keen observation while giving enough room for his hand to rub his neck, "Look, I wanted everyone to leave with the same amount of holes as they came with."

"I get that. But some people don't know any better. Hope that when we're back on the Neema, that people don't think you're some kind of under-cover Cerberus agent plotting on blowing up another ship."

"Well I'm _not_." Is all John could muster to say with a grimace and hidden glare. Being accused of something, even _if_ it was unintentional, made Shepard livid.

It was an obligation, if not a total necessity, to tell Tali's people the absolute truth. He knew the word was going to spread. But it needed to be said. Hopefully they'd understand that John was fleeing for refuge rather than making an attempt to exploit it.

Juel took the signal and put two hands up in the air in mock surrender. "You know what I mean, Shepard. It's just hard speaking to someone that Tali told me was _dead_ for two years… only to come up under Cerberus colors."

"I get it… I get it." He too placed a hand up for mollification, "I understand. But I want to make it clear that I am **_not_**, in any way, affiliated with them."

Juel took John's voice inflection as a good indicator to end the conversation. "I'm going to get back to work, Shepard… thanks for putting your stuff there."

John's thin lipped frown stayed creased like that for another couple seconds until he finally decided to reply. "Yeah. Of course. See you around."

John got up, hissed slowly, and left to go back to his room a deck above.

Their short exchange had turned sour… as with his mood. He took the steps slower than he did coming down just so he could appropriate his grumbling thoughts.

Soon enough, he was back in the room at the foot of their cot where Tali was still sleeping.

"Hey Tali… wake up… hurry. We're coming out of FTL any minute now... I want to see the Flotilla with you." He gently pat her shoulder.

She craned her neck to the side before smacking her dry lips with her equally dry tongue. Waking up to see John hovering over her was probably one of the best things to wake up to. She replied curtly with a shallow smile.

"Okay… let me get some water and I'll meet you in the small observation port."

"You actually have an observation port?"

"Yeah… The ship just has a big screen to act as a window. You can't tell the difference. I swear."

"I'll take your word for it."

"Go on." She groped for her small satchel under the bed before retrieving a disposable bladder.

"Tali?"

"Yeah?"

"Where is it?"

"Oh! It's down the hall. Take a left then your second right."

"Thanks."

She smiled before quenching her parched throat with long gulps of water.

After yawning twice, she fell back on the bed, wrapped herself in the comforter, and stretched. Several wets pops that came from her back had meant she did exactly what was intended. Another yawn before massaging the palm of one of her hands with a thumb.

She was, without a doubt, the happiest quarian alive.

No nightmares… a renounced feeling of purpose…

Something to look forward to…

All because John was _back_.

_And he's coming to stay with me._

The thought of Liara passed through her thoughts along with the two miserable years prior to John's resurrection.

The smile she had suddenly didn't feel as sincere as she would like it to be…

She shook her head and let out a hoarse sigh. She was still hurt; somewhere deep down; like a gnawing gash that refused to heal completely. She trusted John's explanation completely…

Yet…

She shook her head again; this time harder than the last. Other than Liara qualifying as a total asshole for keeping Shepard as a secret… she shouldn't be angry.

But Tali was pretty sure her fuming temper wouldn't be quelled until she could meet some sort of closure on the issue.

Don't get her wrong… she received an _ample_ amount of closure when John came back. That much she could give Liara. But there was still a tiny hilt of displeasure… a little voice that whispered incessantly of wanting to know what _really_ happened, in detail, and how John's resurrection really panned out.

Even then… _nothing_ was worse than being deceived or even _lied_ to... _especially_ when it was about the one thing she cared _most_ about.

Tali cleared her throat before suppressing a heavy sneeze.

Holding her breath amidst watery eyes and runny nose felt _terrible_. Fortunately enough, the pills she took in tandem with her water would help with the shitty symptoms…

At least she knew where John placed his heart on the matter.

It was with Tali.

And _no_ one else.

* * *

><p><em>"You will absolutely <em>_**NOT**__ believe it, folks. Illium police is reporting to have sightings and firsthand accounts that suggest Commander John Shepard, first human Spectre, Savior of the Citadel, could still be __**alive**__." The camera's telescopic lens panned out so the audience of billions could see the three humans sitting comfortably along a sleek sofa._

_The man sitting closest to her nodded while adjusting the tie strung loosely around his collared neck. "Now, we remember Shepard as the Alliance Naval officer appointed by the Council himself, to become a spectre." The other two nodded at his recap, "He had the SSV Normandy under his command along with non-human members to aide him during his hunt for Saren." The classy looking man with the loose tie and leather watch began listing the species with his fingers, "Turian C-Sec Agent, an asari archeologist, quarian machinist, and even a krogan Battle-Master." _

_Four pictures of John's old team arose at the corner of the screen that could be viewed across the galaxy. _

_ "He also had an entire marine detachment to help him, if I remember correctly." The woman spoke up, her professionally curled bangs bobbing as she nodded to affirm her own statement. _

_"Indeed he did." The third man finally spoke up while combing his own long hair over his forehead as discreetly as possible. _

_"After Shepard's death—or allegedly, I should say, his team had, uh, broken up and went separate ways." The man with long hair nodded as he gesticulated with his arms and hands while folding the papers he had wrapped between his fingers, "But it doesn't look like that kept them apart. Apparently the Commander wasn't spotted alone. It looked like he was also seen with one of his old squad members—the quarian…uh" He looked down to his papers to make sure he got the name right. "… uhm… with the name of Tali'Zo—" _

The channel was switched to another news broadcast.

_"—On Illium, where the first sightings were reported. Video surveillance pretty much confirms it. Shepard is back. And he's alive."_

_The human broadcaster was cut short by a salarian with tall horns with perfect symmetry. "I really doubt it… it's amazing what they can do these days with a little bit of cosmetic software. Until they go there and correlate the suspect's DNA with records of Shepard's…"_

_The human's assertive and provocative tone interrupted the salarian's logical counter. _

_"For __**what**__ reason would the asari police lie—" _

The channel was switched again.

_"Why now? Why there? What would make Shepard disappear for __**two**__ years… only to come popping up on Illium? Of all places? Why on earth was he seen boarding a **q**__**uarian**__ craft? How can we really be sure this is Commander Shepard? It almost begs the question as to whether or not the Alliance has any credibility in giving any recourse on the issue—"_

David Anderson took a moment to peel his blood shot eyes from the vid screen to the people near his office a deck below.

Having ignored them for more than the past three hours he'd finally decided it be best to rid his ears of their ceaseless chanting by going out to eat and clear his head.

If Shepard was alive… that meant his death was played... and if someone played his death, that meant there were people in the Alliance even Anderson didn't know of. It _must've_ been their pull. Who else was capable of forging John's death? It all seemed a little too convenient that John was stranded and got spaced. But, then again, his team had pretty much confirmed it. And he knew they wouldn't lie. None of them would have. Unless even they knew something he didn't…

Motive… money, perhaps?

He immediately threw that idea into the trash bin. No way. Not in a million years.

Anderson glowered.

Quite the political shit storm, really.

Fortunately, for Anderson and the rest of the Council, it was unanimously agreed upon to remain quiet on the matter until they could actually answer the public's demands for explaining Shepard and his reappearance.

More importantly for that matter, Tali was seen with John on Illium. And what better way to investigate than to call the people caught in the periphery? Anderson thought for a moment.

The best way to contact her was to contact Liara. But now wasn't the best time.

He'd always liked the Quarian. After shaking hands with the girl back before Saren and the Reapers all started, he could tell she'd make a great addition to Shepard's investigation. Hell, it was, in the end, her that had brought Saren to justice.

Anderson nodded in satisfaction a few times.

It was good to see Saren's ill-made decisions and politically racists fronts finally blow up in his face. Adding the long collateral civilian casualty list Saren was directly responsible for, and Anderson was happy to see the bastard go down.

Soon enough Anderson was dwelling on the past. The man leaned further back on his chair and suddenly thought of that Quarian that accompanied him during the Battle of the Citadel more than two years ago.

Nabi'Adda nar Somma was her name.

He had scribbled it on a post-it the first day he entered his office before sticking it at the foot of his monitor in some vain effort to think of what kind of fate he'd procured on her. Anderson's interlocked fingers and worrisome frown only deepened when he tried to rationalize in his head that his idea of letting her escape in that ship without him was better than facing the group of Geth that had entered the hanger bay seconds after…

He'd have to ask Tali sometime to see if he could ever get an appropriate amount of closure. Maybe even get the chance to speak to her again.

Guilt was, of terrible necessity, a good way to make a man grow unquestionably mad.

A hot pocket of air blew from his mouth as he finally felt the need to stare at the ceiling in the same place he usually did when dwelling on things that he knew would never change.

He was surprised he didn't see a hole yet from the amount of boring he did with his eyes.

"Anderson." A voice called as it entered his office.

"Udina." He replied to his advisor without ever taking his eyes off that spot on the ceiling.

"Concerned and worried as always?" Udina murmured with his naturally patronizing character.

"I swear, Udina. Sometimes I think I should step down and let you take over as Councilor."

Udina bristled at Anderson's extremely sarcastic and mirthless mumble.

"Don't take your job too lightly, Anderson. Our responsibilities are _too_ important. Though I would concur with that sentiment."

Anderson did indeed laugh this time and finally let his gaze wander down back to his desk marred with inches of paperwork and a single coffee stain.

"The sentiment is null, Udina. Trust me whole heartedly you ragged bastard."

Once again, Anderson's advisor huffed before sitting at his desk opposite of Anderson's.

Anderson didn't much care for Udina.

Hell… he didn't even really _like_ him.

_But_ he got shit done and helped him in ways he knew no other person could. And when they retired some nights from working late, they'd visit their favorite bar while they drank beer and snacked on pistachios with a helping of some saucy chicken wings.

But when times got tough, Anderson depended on him. Anderson would even go so far as to say he was a good friend. Albeit a terrible one sometimes. But still. The decisions Udina made, with the exceptions of the ones in the past involving Shepard, deserved their proper merit. Hopefully, Anderson could shape the man Udina needed to be if he ever took over as Councilor.

"What do you think of Shepard?" Anderson said, his humor all but snuffed out of his expression.

"It's bull shit." Udina said simply. "The amount of conspiracy theories that involve around the man, even to this day, astonishes the living hell out of me."

Anderson curbed the urge to mutter 'Reapers' out loud.

"It is what it is." He said instead. "We'll know when we know." The councilor finally stood up from his chair and waived to Udina who carefully peeled the lid from a cup of yogurt.

"I'm going for lunch. See you in half an hour."

"Be careful. You should have C-sec escort you. The crowd is absolutely wild out there."

He gave the chants from below their office another long and tired listen.

_"Give the Truth!"  
>"Give the Truth!"<br>"Give the Truth!"_

"So I've heard."

Udina grunted before putting on his reading glasses to look at yet another article related to Shepard while stuffing a large helping of Greek styled-yogurt into his mouth.


	43. Kings of Space

**Chapter 18**

**|Present time.|**

**|DATE: 1-27-2185|**

* * *

><p>There it was… the Migrant fleet. A cloudlike aggregation of fifty thousand ships drifting soundlessly through space.<p>

Shepard's fingers on the port window flexed instinctively at the sight. Models of every ship John could ever fathom floated by…all of them old and full of character, he imagined.

To his right, Tali, who had just gotten out of her power nap, watched with a lazy eye before sighing happily at the nostalgic and homey view.

"Wow…" Is all John could say.

"Yup."

The human gave the nebulae behind the whole Flotilla a good once over.

"How long does it usually take for the traffic controllers to get us a docking cradle?"

"Really depends." She replied earnestly, "Typically ten to twenty minutes, tops."

"Not bad." He murmured. He sighed and took a good long look at Juel who stood at the far end of the room. He was conversing with some others while pointing several times to the data-pad he was holding.

"What's he talking about?" John asked.

"Eezo reports. Always Eezo reports." She panned with a monotone.

John shrugged and returned his attention to the port window.

"So _many_ ships… it's amazing." He murmured. Tali nodded slowly and took the time to appreciate the view herself.

"Yeah… I should look at it more often…"

He nudged her shoulder before giving it a good pat.

"Quite an impressive home." He whispered, "You should _definitely_ look at it more often." His eyes immediately recognized one of the Quarian Live-Ships.

"Oh my god. That's the Rayya…" He felt his breath leave him. "…you grew up in _that_?"

"Yes. Yes I did." She said smugly while crossing her arms and bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"You think we'll ever get a chance to go there?" He turned back to face the Rayya that was finally beginning to recede from view.

"Absolutely." She said with a frail laugh before stammering, "We, uh—actually have to go there and debrief my dad tomorrow…so…" Her hand carefully flattened one of the creases on her veil.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"But afterwards… you're going to have to give me a tour… I'd _love_ to see what's she's got inside her."

He winked but remembered she couldn't see it. Instead he placed a pointer on his visor and stabbed twice to signify his expression.

She nudged him with an elbow softly before muttering 'Bosh'tet' to his crappy innuendo.

* * *

><p>"What. In. Living. Hell. Is. This." The mercenary's finger jabbed repeatedly at the cool blue fish tank that lined the cabin's longest wall.<p>

"Décor." Miranda said evenly.

"The looks of it… you're out to try and make Shepard a goddam space king..." Zaeed walked down into the bedroom and guffawed at the king sized bed and lounge. Both Garrus and Miranda watched Massani continue his aimless inspection.

"So… this was supposed to be Shepard's cabin." Garrus began while he looked around himself. Every second he spent in here reminded him less of a military ship and more like a gleaming rich man's quick getaway for a one night stand.

Zaeed was right.

Space King.

"Yes." Miranda said simply, "…and I know you don't approve."

"Quite the opposite, really." Garrus replied by giving the woman a guarded smile, "If Shepard does join us, he'll deserve it—though you'll have some convincing to do." His boots scuff slowly to Shepard's desk and put a talon on the only box resting upon it.

"This is…" Garrus' talons slowly grasped the small and delicate piece, "It's Shepard's Medal of Honor..."

"The original." Miranda added while walking up next to the turian.

"How?"

"It was in the ship we found Shepard in. Inside a box… Only his and Tali's… Along with a shotgun and a bandolier of thermal heat sinks."

"You mean these?" Miranda and Garrus turn back to see that Zaeed had opened every cabinet imaginable while holding said Shotgun and bandolier in his hands.

"That's Tali's spare shotgun from the Normandy SR1…" Garrus put down the medal and hurriedly approached the mercenary with his hand drawn out to take it from him.

"Fancy piece your quarian gal had. Her modifications? Rightly done." Zaeed dropped the hefty weight into Garrus' hands.

"Indeed she did… she lost her first one raiding a Collector ship. It was my fault…'turbulent landing' was the reason why, if put lightly."

"Raiding a Collector ship..? That sounds like a story worth telling, that there." He gave Tali's old shotgun a nod.

"It was. I'll tell you sometime if I ever get the chance."

"Good." He nodded to Miranda to get her attention.

"You said we had a mission to get to, love?"

"It's Mrs. Lawson."

"I'll work on that."

Garrus put the shotgun and bandolier carefully back into one of Shepard's drawers.

"We're trying to get a Salarian scientist in the slums. He's running a dingy clinic right in the thick of a deadly plague." Garrus explained, "Thing is…the virus only kills non-humans… Vorcha excluded. And everyone is blaming the humans… naturally."

"Naturally." Zaeed repeated.

"And it would be understandable, Mr. Vakarian, if you abstain from this operation… considering the biological hazard." Miranda piped with professional concern.

"Nothing a hard suit can't handle."

"Excellent. Briefing will be in fifteen minutes in the conference room. EDI is already providing us an operation order." Miranda's heels clicked as she made her way to the elevator, "Please place everything back the way it was, Mr. Massani."

"Right away, love."

When Shepard's door closed, Garrus turned to the mercenary.

"Last I heard, Massani, she was married. I'd keep those credit crummy hands off her." His mandibles split into a wide grin.

"Ha. Comedic. Lucky bastard… or unlucky. Whoever he is."

"Jacob."

"No _way? Taylor? _ That ugly arse?"

"I think his skin looks better than all you pasty types."

"Ha! You an' I are gonna get along just fine, Archangel."

"I still don't understand. Why's Jacob unlucky?"

"Lesson number one, Angel: Never marry a woman who isn't willing to change her title in the name of pride. If she can't get on two knees for you, then why in hell should you get on one for her?"

"You're assuming she doesn't give oral sex to Jacob … because she didn't change her last name to his?"

Zaeed frowned. "Christ, kid."

* * *

><p>Three Cerberus LAVs (stripped of Cerberus' typical white gleam for incognito-ops) turned the next bend and onto a shady looking street with dozens of homeless bystanders.<p>

A typical scene on Omega.

Garrus' team, Garrus himself, Zaeed, Jacob, and a small six man squad of Cerberus soldiers stationed on this shit hole, zipped through Omega's city traffic in their tanks to their objective. The ride carried on in silence for a sum of minutes before Garrus finally caught something in the corner of his eye.

"Look at that…" The turian's mandible flared angrily as he watched, from a distance, a number of batarians (In Blue Suns armor, of course) tying down a naked Salarian before brandishing a hot poker. The first thing one of the batarians did was swing the red hot prodding tool like a bat across the Salarians face, effectively knocking out teeth and searing a cheek. They turned the corner before Garrus could see any more.

Garrus saw something like that every _fucking_ day. And at _every _available opportunity, he'd make an effort to stop the lowly scum of Omega.

But he knew he couldn't save everyone…

He didn't expect to.

Though, the brutal public beatings happened less frequently when Garrus made a name for himself as Omega's _'freelancing, kill-on-the-spot, police officer', or more popularly: 'Omega's Archangel'. _(Which wasn't far from the truth.)

News of being executed on the spot for so much as 'beating the shit' outta the locals spread fast.

Seeing it again, even though he was aware that hundreds of others were facing the same fate, made him feel like his two years spent here hadn't made much a difference.

He sighed quietly and prayed to the spirits he didn't believe in.

People were suffering immensely.

And he just passed by a lowly soul that was right in the thick of it.

_Damnit._

"I've done some _fucked_ up shit in my life." Zaeed muttered with his edgy and gruff voice, "But nothing like that... torture _rarely _works. Sick practice for sick people, that there." Zaeed sat back down into his seat and leaned comfortably back into his chair.

"Good men mean well." Garrus offered to Zaeed, "I'm sure you've done your share of good deeds, Massani."

"_Good men mean well."_ Zaeed repeated nostalgically, as if he'd heard the uttered phrase a million times before. The Mercenary shook his head and disagreed. "I fancy that quote. But I don't fit that characteristic. The way I see it, and the way you see it, are one in the same, Archangel. Don't matter how many bullets are put to the cause. They're still goddamn bullets. Each end gives you an expensive bloody casserole no one wants to eat."

"Where are you going with this?"

"My point being that you and the Blue Suns, the Eclipse, and the Blood Pack, all fight to fill something up. Be that hearts or wallets. At the end of your day, someone's made a living that's actually worth a damn."

There was a long pregnant pause before Garrus spoke. "You're right… you don't fit the characteristic."

"Didn't say I liked it… but didn't say I haven't done it either." Zaeed's eyes flickered as if there was some regret behind them. In a flash, it was gone. "But I damn well have to eat and pay my fair share of bills."

"Hmph… Like your _cigars_… and _booze_."

"Damn straight."

"I've been around types like you before." Garrus growled, "…and I know _exactly_ how you play."

"Is that so?" Zaeed leaned forward with a smile that Garrus knew wasn't sincere.

"When things get too tough… when you realize you'll be neck deep in thresher shit… it'll be a clear that your loyalty stands by a price tag." The turian's arms boldly crossed his chest, "I'll lend my life to a man with a noble cause any time of the year over a firepower _purchase_." He pointed to Zaeed to help stiffen his point.

"Spout all you want kid. I've lived three times your age. I've been through more wars than you've got toes and fingers. I've killed more men than the bullets you've shot." Zaeed kept chewing his unlit cigar, "I didn't get to where I was by eyeing a bloody escape route when shit keeps hitting the fan. I do not cross on my deals. Never have. Never will."

Another long pause.

"How much did Cerberus pay you, exactly?"

"Enough to keep me interested… and enough to deal with you." The man's lips cracked into a wide split grin before letting his smokey laugh crackle into the air. Garrus knew Zaeed took their disagreement with a grain of salt. It was obvious that, as soon as the paid gunman laughed, he'd been in this argument plenty of times before. It was also apparent that Zaeed wasn't offended in the least.

But it was clear: Garrus respected the man less for his actions… But gave grudging deference for his honesty.

"How long until we're there, driver?" Zaeed asked aloud.

"Right up here, and we'll drop you off. There's a check point up ahead with Aria's men sealing off the district."

"Figures… we're gonna have to get passed them. And not by killing them either."

"Agreed." Garrus intoned with a nod, "We kill her men, and we're effectively screwing with Aria's operation… we have any bribe money? We need to get through without incident."

The driver nodded. "Always."

"Then let's get to it."

* * *

><p>The first thing John noticed was the stares.<p>

Never had he felt _more_ self-conscious then he did now.

Dozens of eyes staring carefully at the human striding down proudly with Tali at his side. He didn't dare break posture or slim down or curl his back in shame. They were probably more curious than anything else. Hopefully Tali was right about wearing a '_Realk' _that was affixed to the top of his head.

It still felt weird.

"So… no debriefing with anyone? Not even the Neema's captain?" John asked Tali.

"No, we get about an hour or two before we meet back with him for a formal meeting."

"Why?" John asked with a bizarre expression on his face. Shepard was usually, in regards to his military career in the Alliance, used to either: emptying his brain with AARs to his superior, or typing up formal AARs within an hour of executing a mission (If he or his team wasn't part of a casualty list).

He didn't really expect it to be any different with the quarians.

To be so informal like this was… uncanny.

"So we get time to see our family." She answered with a small smile.

Eventually, Tali turned the corner and urged for him to follow her down to the lower decks to begin a tour of the _Neema_.

"Tals, you go any faster, I'm gonna lose you." He said.

John was actually surprised he didn't have to shove his way through the crowded hallways. In spite of the long stares, people still nodded and made space for the bulkier human. John muttered thank you's for every person that took their time to maneuver around him.

Which was everyone that crossed by his path.

"No you won't, silly. Come on." She shook her head at his overtly awkward politeness.

Juel, who had been following behind both of them, shrugged apologetically to the human and strode off to the hallway on their left.

"See you Tali! Take care Shepard!" He yelled.

"See you at dinner?" Tali called out as they continued walking away from Juel.

"Absolutely!" Came Juel's disembodied voice. Tali took a right and John followed.

"So… you guys got showers here?"

"Twelve. Yes. But they're in the clean rooms. There's a sign up roster for it if you ever want to reserve it."

"Even if I'm a human?"

"Absolutely. They're regularly cycled after every use by opening them up to vacuum. UV Radiation from nearby stars kills anything inside."

John let out a sigh of relief. "Good…"

When there was enough room, John caught up and walked to her side. "Where we going?"

"Where we're going to live… you know, my room."

"You have a roommate by any chance?"

"Nope. Well… _now_ I do."

John could see her eyes squint from her smile.

"Good. How's the bed?"

"We'll work on that." She replied, "We'll take a look at what's on the trading deck later."

They reached the ladders that lead down to the living quarters.

"Come on, huneey." She slurred with her smile. He scoffed and grabbed the ladder's footing before stepping down cautiously.

The sounds of happy laughter and soft ambience grew as they continued down.

"How many people live here?"

"Hundreds."

"You know them all?"

"Of course. We're family here, John. And you'll soon be too." They take their final step from the ladder and onto the deck flooring. John stood, ogled eyed, at the hundreds of small homes.

The first thing that came to John's mind were shanty towns dotted all over the poorest places on earth (Which, unfortunately, still existed).

But John instantly thought otherwise.

The materials the quarians used were cheap and worn… but unlike the shanty towns he'd just thought of, weren't amok with filth, grime, and disease. They were neat, organized, and spotless.

Elaborate clothes and curtains covered the walls and doors of _every_ small dwelling. Hundreds of cubicles, fashioned together in clustered rectangles, stretched farther then John had expected.

But that wasn't all. These clustered hovels were installed with second and third stories; each with ladders or handmade stairs to reach them.

John even saw that some intuitive quarian had drilled smooth oblong shaped handles leading up to one home that reminded him of a rock climbing wall he'd used to climb on those stupid competitions back in Brazil at ICT.

"This is absolutely amazing…" He breathed. She leaned into him slightly.

"I knew you'd like it." She whispered delicately.

"Though I wonder… where is everyone? I thought it'd be more crowded."

"Working, John? We've all got jobs, remember? Anyone here is probably getting ready to go to sleep." She grabbed his hand and tugged for him to follow.

"Where do you live?"

"Right over here." They took the next bend and walked down until they met her cubicle.

As John had expected, it was covered in her iconic purple fabric.

He put his hands on his hips and looked proudly at the curtain that covered her room. "Hope the neighbors are good?"

"Of course! You'll meet them later. The people above and three rooms down all have the same sleep cycle we do." She said happily.

"How'd you manage to get a bottom floor room?"

"Luck. _Lots of luck._ And a little pull from the captain…"

He gave her a look.

"Okay, _a lot_ of pull from the captain. He _insisted_ that it'd recompense my pilgrimage gift."

"_Oh my god._ I _completely_ forgot about your pilgrimage gift… _Jesus_… was it good enough?"

"Good enough? Keelah, John, I've been branded as a _hero_…"

He nodded in relief. "As it should be. Because you are."

"Sweet talker." She muttered before pulling the curtains to the side.

Everything was where John expected it to be. Plain, simple, and dotted with décor that would never get in the way. A small holo frame, computer, desk, bed, and cargo box. They'd have to move some of the furniture around if he was going to sleep in here too.

"Wow… you've done yourself good in here… a cargo box? For _stuff? _How _dare_ you. What is this? A luxury suite?"

If quarians rolled their eyes, which John was pretty sure they did; she was doing it.

"Whatever. It's got everything I need. I've got room to spare if you ever need to put stuff in there too."

"I can keep my guns here…?"

"Uh… that's really up to the captain actually." Her hands suddenly wring anxiously, "I don't think he'll have a problem with it… but, you're not quarian, so…" She shrugged and tried to atone for her slight slip up, "Well, I mean, we trust you—_**I**_ trust you, it's just…—you know."

"It's fine, Tals. Really. It's not a problem if I can't. Where can I turn them in?"

"At the requisition office. Two decks above, down the hallway, and two rights passed the cafeteria. They'll put it in the armory for you and register them."

"That's just fine… Tali...? Really. It's okay."

"I know your guns are important to you."

"It is what it is. It's the captain's ship, and I'll respect his decision either way." He gave her a smile she couldn't see and sat at her bed.

"So… an actual mattress instead of a cot? Where'd you manage to get this?"

"I actually used to have a cot… Juel convinced me to finally get one. Haven't regretted it since."

"Oh, I'm sure." His hands grasp the sheets carefully, "Hmm… I wonder if there's any _stains_ on here." He looked carefully at the comforter, scanning up and down its length.

"Knock it off, you pervert." Tali said by pushing him lightly, "But I wouldn't mind putting some on there later." She purred as quietly as possible.

Shepard's pants grew a little tighter. "Oh really now?"

"Mhmm." She draws the curtains back over the rod. When she did, she strode calmly to him (Which was more about two steps) and lay him carefully onto the bed while lying next to him.

The twin sized mattress could barely hold them, but it didn't really matter. Her one hand massaged his deltoid slightly while Shepard's strode casually under her inner thigh.

_Damn_. This was awesome.

She let out a soft moan that couldn't have passed beyond the walls of her room.

"Yeah… just like that." She hummed. His hand steadily rose higher on her inner-thigh until the frills of her cloth rumpled from his sensual massage. She squeaked in pleasure before grasping his tricep tighter.

Seeing this, John was pretty sure he'd just get a good case of blue balls. It's not like he could _realistically_ put stains on her sheets without it being a biohazard or something.

_He could see it now on the Neema's local news. _

"_HUMAN BIOLOGICAL WASTE, NOW IDENTIFIED AS JOHN SHEPARD'S REPRODUCTIVE FLUID, RELEASES PATHOGENS; BECOMES AIRBORNE. REPARATIONS AS FOLLOWS…" _

No. There was no way he could get a proper 'finishing' without something bad happening. He was just fine with pleasing just her.

He smiled, gave the woman a loving look, and pressed a little harder in-between her legs.

The reaction he got was all the motivation he needed to continue.

"I love you, hun."

"Uhnn..."


	44. It's not an Invitation

**A/N:** My computer is up and running but far from actually being useable. Thanks for waiting, guys.

* * *

><p><strong>|Chapter 19|<strong>

**|Present Time|**

**|DATE: 1-28-2185|**

* * *

><p>"Hey Joker." Garrus came from behind the pilot and placed both his hands on the head rest.<p>

"Hey. What's up?" Joker glimpsed at the turian and went back to monitoring his controls.

"Just wanted to talk."

"About what?"

"Cerberus." Garrus said simply.

They both gave the blue orb next to them a suspicious glance.

"Yes. They eat babies. Jacob has established that multiple times." Joker rolled his eyes, "I swear he uses it as a pick-up line."

Garrus sat down in the co-pilot's chair. "Why'd you join? Why'd Chakwas join?"

"She signed up because of me. They showed her and I what they were doing to Shepard. Seeing that…" Joker's eyes glossed over, "I couldn't exactly say no."

"How long ago was that?"

"Pff. Maybe almost a year and a half ago. He looked like a mummy."

"Wow. How observant of you." Garrus said sarcastically.

"Look, I was there too, okay? We got fucked over _good_ back on Ullipses. As did the whole _fucking_ planet for that matter." Joker leaned in as close as he could to Garrus and frowned, "I still get nightmares from that shit."

"Same." Garrus whispered.

"I still think about it _every_. _day_."

"I do too."

Joker was quick to reply. "But Shepard's back…we just have to convince him it's worth being here."

"That we do. Jacob and Miranda have been cooking up a plan with my help…but I think it's going to fail."

"How so?"

"They want to try and go to the flotilla and pick him up using me as leverage."

"Yeah. Brilliant." Joker laughed, albeit awkwardly, "The giant glowing Cerberus logo isn't going to fly so well with them. And Tali would probably be the first person to pull the trigger."

Garrus sighed. "I'm trying to convince them to remove it."

Joker turned to EDI. "Hey, EDI. Whose bright idea was it to put that on the ship?"

"The SR2's conceptualization team. The Illusive Man picked the design." EDI replied.

"God-damn artists… think we can just—_I don't know_, put a tarp over the logo in the meantime?"

"Tell me that was joke, Joker." Garrus' mandibles split into a wide grin.

"That was the shittiest pun ever."

"Shitty or not, it was a stupid idea. Next time we dry dock, we're buffing it out. You think diplomacy is going to work when we've flagged Cerberus as our sponsor? It just isn't going to work." Garrus said.

"I think they kept it on there to put them under a better light. Make 'em look like the heroes for once." Joker offered.

"Sure…but they've ruined the opportunity. They should have reconciled their ways earlier."

"I agree. Testing the thorian zombies and rachni wasn't really fly with any of us the first time around."

"Exactly. We're getting rid of it. Whether they want to or not."

"How's the new guy doing?" Joker asked.

"Mordin? He's doing great. Talks faster than light."

"Don't most salarians?"

"No… this guy _really_ takes it up to another level."

"And the other new guy?"

"Zaeed is…" Garrus paused, "_interesting_."

"What about your whole Omega team?"

"They're settling in just fine. We all share one of the rooms down in engineering." Garrus answered.

"You guys ready for the pick-up?"

"Subject Zero? No. I think we should leave him there. I've read the report. He's a spirits-be-damned _psycho_."

"Yeah… but TIM thinks Zero here is a resource worth keeping. He's a pretty good judge of character… have you actually talked to TIM yet?"

"Yeah, I've talked to The Illusive Man this morning. _Very_ charismatic." Garrus shook his head, "How long until we get there?"

"Four hours." Joker replied.

"You know what our next dossier is after this one? It's picking up a Krogan warlord."

"A Wrex lookalike perhaps?"

"No…Look up the name 'Okeer' sometime." Garrus said, "And Wrex was a battlemaster. Not a warlord."

"Okay? Should I be worried?"

"Very."

Joker grumbled.

"How's EDI treating you?" Garrus wondered. He looked at the glowing orb.

"She's breathing down my back." Joker would be lying if he didn't want to give the AI the bird, "How's the crew been around you?"

"Keep to themselves mostly. They're polite and know what they're doing."

"They were handpicked by The Illusive Man." EDI interjected.

Joker rolled his eyes. It didn't come off as a surprise that EDI was doing a little self-promoting. It was probably wired to propagate tacky Cerberus PSYOPS propaganda whenever it could. Garrus was probably under the same impression.

If Garrus noticed, he didn't show it.

"He picked them well." Garrus said and got up, "I'll be in the forward battery. I'll message you when I start making power fluctuations. The main gun needs calibrating."

"Okay. See you around."

Garrus dropped a paper envelope into Jeff's lap before leaving. Joker gave the turian a wary look before carefully opening the envelope. In crude penmanship (no doubt from Garrus copying the letters on the extranet) read in english: _They're Listening._

Joker looked further into the pouch and saw eight crushed listening devices.

"Figures." Joker shook his head, sealed the envelope back up, and tossed them into his drawer, "_Fucking_ figures." He repeated.

It was clear what Garrus was doing.

He was giving Cerberus a giant obscure indirect middle finger. And what better way to do that by handing the envelope to Joker in _front_ of EDI.

If Garrus was working with Cerberus, it was going to be on _his_ terms.

Period.

Garrus walked down the Normandy's long neck, across the CIC, and stepped into the elevator. During the entire duration of his ride back down to the crew deck, he stared at the camera stuffed into the elevator's corner.

He hoped the Illusive man was watching.

More importantly, was the fact that Shepard was alive again. And he was with Tali… probably on the Migrant fleet now.

Garrus tried to imagine how different things would have played out had Tali not found him earlier.

Probably a lot different.

His omni-tool turned on and dialed for Tali.

* * *

><p><strong>Fifteen Minutes Previously...<strong>

John gave both the little quarian girls sitting beside him a puzzled look.

John remembered somewhere, either from Tali telling him or the extranet, that personal space was supposed to be a serious thing for quarians.

Apparently not.

With John in the middle, they had reached for both his hands and gave every finger he had a wiggle.

"_Chilo_…" Tali's growl didn't seem to faze them as they continued their violating inspection, "_Siv_…You're not being very _respectful_ of our guest." She spat in her monotone rasp.

"Don't be such a grump, TalTals." Chilo said in her mocking voice. John couldn't help but smile at the nickname they gave Tali, "Mr. Shepard seems to be having fun…right Mr. Shepard?"

"Of course!" John answered in his overly merry tone.

Usually, Tali _loved_ to hear his rich voice speak like that.

But not when he was defending these two sorry jokes.

"Isn't it hard to keep track of all these fingers?" Siv said to John's right when she gripped his pinky and ring to connect them, "There's so _many_…"

"Not at all…" John explained with his big beaming grin. He leaned in close and began typing on an imaginary keyboard, "I bet I can type faster with all these fingers then _both_ of you."

"Nu-uh." Chilo berated.

"Yes-Huh, you dim-bulb. He has more fingers than us, Chilo." Siv called out over John's lap to get in the other girls face.

Tali let out a quiet grumble and returned to her pasty meal and fixed her glowing eyes on the nipple. "I'm so sorry, John."

"Don't be. These guys are great." He laughed and gently placed his hands on both their heads.

"Okay, guys, let ol' Commander Shepard here finish eating. We have stuff to do." Juel said evenly between a mouthful of food.

"Okay…" Both the kids got up, waved the adults goodbye, and poked Tali's sides to tickle her before finally leaving them.

"Great kids…" John chuckled as he watched him go.

"You're kidding." She said flatly. John nodded and Tali faced Juel, "So it's that easy for you, Juel? I can hardly make them pick up their trash, let alone be polite! I should just have a word with their parents."

"You have. On multiple occasions." Juel pointed out, "It's probably why their efforts at pissing you off have doubled."

John shrugged and made an eager attempt to show he wasn't interested in voicing an opinion when Tali looked at him.

"Ugh… I'm going to get my tablet." Tali got up from the table, retrieved the device in her room a few feet away, and sat back down.

"So what's scheduled for tomorrow?" Juel asked with a dreary tone when he fumbled with his bladder of food.

"We're meeting up with Admiral Zorah tomorrow first thing in the morning for an official debriefing." Tali answered.

She handed the tablet to Juel so he could skim through the text.

"So… just a typical meeting then? Nothing else?" Juel passed the device to John.

"Admiral Gerrel will be joining… along with Kal, Prazza, and their respective teams." She replied.

"I thought this was a debriefing… why is Kal'Reeger attending? Let alone another Admiral?"

"It's about Haestrom." She said finally, "I shouldn't say anymore until tomorrow."

John rubbed his chin thoughtfully while he slurped on his tube of canned peaches through a wide straw.

He remembered her mentioning this earlier.

And it had him worried.

John knew enough to know she was referring about a quarian colony that was abandoned in the wake of their exile…

Which, needless to say, was in geth space.

The details hadn't been forthcoming (for obvious reasons) which had made him terribly anxious about what would be laid ahead for them all.

The last thing he wanted to do was fight geth.

In John's short but enduring Alliance career, it was safe to say the geth were the _toughest_ bad guys he'd ever faced.

They had the might of the krogan, the discipline stronger than a turian, and the intelligence five times that of a salarian.

It was, to John, _very_ puzzling that he and his team made it as far as they did, and then some. Too bad it ended so tragically two years ago.

"Let's not worry about it." John lied. He put on the fakest smile she couldn't see and took a swig of his jug of water.

"Agreed. We'll get all our questions answered tomorrow."

Tali agreed by slowly nodding her head. A quarian woman turned the corner and suddenly threw her arms up in surprise.

"Tali! Juel!" Enyah called out in her honeyed voice, "I heard we have a new guest! Please, Tali, introduce me to your friend!"

Shepard couldn't help but notice how his translator had given Enyah an Aussie accent.

"Oh!" Tali immediately got up from the table, gave Enyah a hug, and gestured with a hand to Shepard, "John'Shepard Vas Normandy, meet Enyah'Say Vas Neema nar Oyulna. She's our neighbor. Right above us."

"Pleased to meet you ma'am." He offered his hand and she shook it briskly with both of hers.

"This has to be the most _interesting_ thing that has ever happened on the Neema… except for when Juel lost his arm..."

"Can it woman." Juel chided from behind Enyah with a snort.

"Wait, I hate to skip on formalities, Ms. Enyah… but—Juel, you lost an arm?"

"Yeah… slipped in a septic tank and cut my arm lathered in poop. You can imagine what that does to quarians. Terrible stuff."

"That... uh—wow. How'd you get it replaced?"

"Oh, Tali here brought him to the Citadel to get him a new one... fully synthetic." Enyah answered for Juel.

"Really?"

"Yes, Really." Tali said by placing both her hands together to try and bring the weird topic to a close.

"So, Enyah here works on navigation and traffic control." Tali began.

"That I do… What does our new friend do?"

"Uh… Alliance Navy… Recently—_er_, retired." Tali stammered. John nodded quickly.

"I meant what are you capable of doing here on a ship? Are you an engineer?"

"Oh!" Tali quickly corrected herself, "Well, John?"

John cleared his throat and put his elbows on the table.

"Well… judging by the lay out of the Neema and her armor… I'd say she was a Haveron-4 Capital class; a salarian and turian joint design made about close to seventy years ago… though two of her engines on the furthest sides had been stripped and upgraded with Tacheon Rheostats: Grad-Stat stage two's. This ol' metal bucket's almost sixty years old, had her armor stripped and reapplied, and would be twice as slow as any in her field… and she'd still hold her own against a turian cruiser."

Tali let out a loving sigh and felt her heart flutter.

"Tali." Enyah turned to her, "You've got one hell of a keeper."

"Damn straight, Enyah. Damn straight."

Enyah sat down next to Juel. "So what brought you here? It's not every day we have a human come live with us."

"Seeking refuge, actually. Running from Cerberus."

"Cerberus…" The tone Enyah used could best be described as razors cutting through flesh.

"Yeah…"

"Then more reason for you to be here and away from those Bosh'tets." She grabbed Tali's wrist for her attention, "You gave him a tour right? Of the _Neema_?"

"Of course! How else would he have regurgitated all that sexy talk like that?"

"Only you would see that as foreplay, Tali." Enyah shook her head and laughed. Juel stared awkwardly at his meal.

Tali leaned in and gave John her best set of dreamy eyes. "Definitely. That's all it takes to make me swoon."

Juel by now was desperately trying to find something to distract himself. John caught on to her joke and decided to join.

"Oh yes. It's _all_ I have to do. It's _too_ easy."

Enyah laughed and slapped Juel on his back.

"Okay. S_eriously_?" Juel cried out.

Tali started laughing. "Oh, you are so pathetic."

"Hey you guys."

"Olasie!" Juel stood up from his table with a big grin on his face. "It's so good to see you. How's your…" he gave Enyah a quick glance and decided it be best he whisper to her, "Tattoo?"

"Fuck you too, Juel." Olasie whispered back with a thin smile.

"I forgot to mention earlier, John, that Olasie is our neighbor next to us." Tali said by waiving to the recently tattooed woman.

"Nice to see you again, Commander. And I forgive you for lying to me."

"Lying?" John gave Olasie an odd look.

"You told me you were still Alliance…" She admonished, "When you weren't anymore… need I mention the Cerberus rats holding you hostage?"

"Sorry... I'm sure you understand."

"That's why I forgive you." Olasie shook his hand and sat down at the table.

John bit his lip and stood straighter in his chair. "So, Tali… are all your neighbors girls?" John gave her a confused glance.

"No." She shook her head and thumbed the room right above Enyah's room, "That's, uh, Hiva'Mowla up there. He's on duty right now; part of the engineering crew. He probably won't be here for another hour."

"And where do you live, Juel?"

"Somewhere that way." Juel pointed behind him, "Far enough away to avoid these three."

Olasie punched him lightly in the arm. "Knock it off you bosh'tet. You love us. Remember?"

"Yeah. Whatever." He grumbled with the shake of his head.

"I'm going to go to bed, guys. It's been a long day." Enyah said as she got up. She took the small flight of stairs up to her room. "Oh, and Tali?" She gave Tali still sitting at the table a swaying finger, "Keep it quiet. I don't want to hear anything when I'm sleeping. Okay?"

"No promises." Tali shouted back in a mocking tone.

She didn't show it, but that got Tali a little embarrassed. She stole herself a quick glance to see Shepard shaking his head.

She imagined that he was actually smiling.

"_Keelah_." Juel groaned, "Do you guys ever stop?"

Tali ignored Juel's rhetorical question and faced Olasie.

"How's Veetor?" She asked.

"Doing well. He's checked in to the doctor to get a full psychiatric make-up. He's emotionally winded… but I think he'll be alright. Though he won't stop mumbling."

John nodded grimly. "Does he have anything else in regards to the collectors?"

"Just copies of the same stuff we've already seen. Video and analytic data. Radiation sampling. The like." Olasie took a deep breath and wished she could have another bottle of the stuff she had back at Vista Cova, "The stuff we saw there was, in all seriousness, disturbing. I can't believe they could do that to a _whole_ colony."

The lighthearted atmosphere dropped instantly. Every smile at the table turned into a deep pressed frown.

It would be safe to say that Tali and Shepard were both thinking about the old Normandy and the fate she suffered on Ullipses.

"Well they did." Juel answered, "And there isn't anything we can do about it."

John hoped that wasn't the case.

Honestly, Shepard was beginning to the think that the Illusive man really was on track with the whole 'The collectors and reapers are behind all this'.

Not that he didn't believe him in the first place… It's just that he wasn't particularly fond of signing an agreement with a human supremacist hell bent on shitting on everyone else to advance the human cause.

He wouldn't be surprised if Tim voted for the Terra Firmas.

Fucking fear mongering douche-bags.

Tali shrugged. "For right now, all we have to worry about is tomorrow. So, Olasie, we'll be meeting up with you in the morning before we head off to the Rayya with the others."

"Sounds good, Tali." Olasie replied before standing up, "I'm going to head to bed too."

"Same here." Juel said.

"I guess that means we will too." John stood up and shook Juel's and Olasie's hand, "See you in the morning."

Tali exchanged good-byes with them both before stepping into her home with John.

When John closed the curtain, he sat down on her chair.

"Hey. How are you feeling?"

Tali had to pause at the question.

She was feeling a lot of things, lately.

Like, a _**lot**_ of things.

The first and foremost being that John was alive.

Alive.

He wasn't dead floating in space or laying in a coffin six feet underground.

He was sitting right in _front_ of her.

_Breathing_.

Remembering the collectors didn't much help either. At all.

Tali was downright _terrified_ of them.

If not more so than the _geth_.

Then there was the reapers, of _all_ things.

But that wasn't as pressing as the issue right before her.

"I… I don't know, honestly." She sat at the end of her bed and looked at John. Behind his visor, she could see the concern in his eyes.

"I want to know… what happened after—" She took a quick breath and blinked away the coming tears, "…after we separated on that elevator two years ago."

John was quiet for a lengthy moment before getting up to sit right next to her.

"Hey. It's okay. I guess I should have told you earlier." He pat her on the back and drew in a deep lungful of air, "When I went down to the cargo bay…I told half of the crew to head up with you to prepare the evac pods while the rest of us would stay down to prep the rest."

He watched her fingers flex tightly around her knees.

"Right after that, a giant hole blew through the deck. I hung on for as long as I can… but I couldn't. Ended up getting spaced."

Tali had a hard time keeping the trembling heaves of breath down. He held her tighter.

"You remember when we got picked up by Gonzalez? Yeah. His ship ended up getting spaced too. Made my way to it before locking myself inside…"

"The ship was out of decommission." She said in a shallow breath, "I remember your message, John. You suffocated to death."

She swallowed hard and felt the lump in her throat. "I'm so sorry, John…" She said in a long drawn out whisper, "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be."

"You should have listened to me… I pleaded with you to stay… but you didn't."

"I know. I should have listened to you. I promise you that will _never_ happen again."

She sighed. "Good."

"What happened to Ullipses?" John asked, "Wasn't exactly around for that part."

"Gone. It doesn't exist. Sucked up by a black-hole."

"What?"

"Don't ask how. I don't know." Tali answered, "I know. It's stuff straight out of a stupid sci-fi movie. But it happened."

"Tell me I'm not the only one who thinks the ghost rocks had something to do with it."

"You're not. But we're guessing it's related."

"Anything else? Do we know more?"

"No. The trail disappears after that."

"How did you guys make it out alive?"

"We had to ditch the ship when you got spaced. Then the Alliance dropped out of hyperspace and drove the collectors away…why didn't Cerberus tell you any of this?"

"They weren't exactly forthcoming with _anything_… I had to fight with them even tell me what _year_ it was."

"Of course…" She shook her head before she started taking off her clip-on pockets and belts. "What was it like being dead?"

"Like…" He paused, "Uh, _well_—it was like having a long night's sleep, I suppose."

"Sounds about right." She said when she folded her _Realk_ neatly away into a cubby. She looked up from the drawer and gave John a puzzled look, "I hate to bring it up again… but the collectors…"

"Are you suggesting—"

"You're not Alliance anymore." She interrupted.

"But I'm not exactly a Spectre either." He put away his own clip-on pockets and equipment in the cubby next to hers.

"Maybe we should go and reinstate it?" Tali asked as she ushered John into bed with her.

"One thing at a time… After the mission on Haestrom goes, we'll see if we can. After that, we can find out exactly what's going on with the collectors."

"…and the reapers." She added.

"Them too." He reached for the blanket and put it over both of them.

"John?" Her nose was a mere inch from his as they rest on their pillows.

"Yes, Tali?"

"I have a feeling this is going to be a busy year." Tali said in a tired whisper.

"I know." John replied.

Tali's omni-tool shined on her night stand. She sat up from the bed and peered over John's shoulder to get a better look.

"Who the hell coul—it's Garrus."

John shot out from the bed. "Garrus?"

"Yeah… he must know you're alive." Tali waved with her hand to tell Shepard to give her the electronic bracelet. He gave it to her.

"Garrus?"

"Hey. Good to see you. It's been a while since we talked." Garrus said.

"Months, actually. What's up?" Tali greeted.

"Honestly, Tali, _I _think I should be asking you that." His mandibles frowned, " Where's Shepard?"

"Garrus." John called out, "You smug bastard. Damn is it good to see your face, man."

"And you look no worse for wear, Shepard. I can't believe you're actually back with us. I didn't think Cerberus could do it."

"WAIT." Tali's back stood straight up, "YOU. _**KNEW?**_"

"Yes. And Liara promised me not to tell you."

Tali's head whipped back and made this long forced laugh John knew wasn't happy.

"Of course she did."

"If you're mad at me—"

"I'm not mad at you. Not that much." Tali interjected, "What I _still _don't understand, is the reason behind why she kept _him_ a secret." She jabbed her finger into John's chest.

"Look. You're pissed."

"Pissed? Garrus. I'm _**livid**_." Tali spat angrily.

"Fine. But you need to hear me out."

"Okay." John said after he pat Tali's back to calm her down, "What's up?"

"Are you alone? No-one in ear-shot?" Garrus asked.

"You're linked to our suits only." Tali huffed.

"Shepard." Garrus let out a long drawn sigh, "John. Cerberus asked for my help. And I accepted."

"You're kidding me." John retorted, "_Why_?"

"It's a long story. But you need to hear me out in full."

"We're listening."

"Cerberus wasn't joking about how much they invested into you. Were you aware of what they were prepared to provide you with?"

The silence from Tali and Shepard was his invitation to continue.

"They were going to be your benefactor."

"So?" Tali shrugged.

"They built a ship outfitted with a crew and top-grade resources."

"A ship? …But is it as good as the Normandy was?" John asked.

"Better. A Normandy look alike. She's twice as big, twice the amount of fire power…" Garrus looked at Tali, "And an engine twice the size of the old. New internal emission sink. Cerberus knows how to build a ship. And I'm not exaggerating."

"I got to swallow this. Garrus, are you under duress or something?"

"No. Though I'm glad you asked that. Here. Look. I'll give you a little tour of the crew deck." Garrus' camera switched to a first person view.

"Look familiar?" Garrus showed the elevator before rearing the corner to let John and Tali see the conference table next to the kitchen and Miranda's office.

"Holy hell… she looks just like the Normandy… just _bigger_."

"Yeah. Shepard… We've been recruiting people to take the fight against the Collectors abducting human colonies. And if there's anybody we need, it's you two."

"We can't." Tali said before John could even say anything, "We have a mission."

"She's right, Garrus. We do have a schedule to go by right now."

Garrus' face returned on Tali's omni-tool. The look on his face was not happy. "Okay." He said, "But Shepard… You're the only guy who can do this. You _remember_ what the bastards did to us two years ago. And TIM thinks they're paired up with the reapers... It's time to even that score. I'm not asking for a decision. This is a matter of when you're coming aboard."

John looked at Tali. "I don't know. It depends on how long this mission is… after that…" Shepard's voice trailed off.

"Give me a time-table to work by."

"It's not that easy, Garrus."

"Didn't say it was, Shepard. Call me whenever you have an answer. I have to go."

"It was good to see you again Garrus."

"You too. Both of you. When you do come, you'll see Joker and Chakwas. They're here too."

"No kidding?"

"Seriously. It won't be like old times… but it can be once you two get back on with us."

"Count on it, Garrus. Take care of yourself."

The call ended. Tali held her hands in her lap before throwing them up in the air.

"There is no way Garrus would—I just… _can't_ believe it. Why would he _join_ them? They're _Cerberus_!"

"We can get those questions answered when we talk to him again…" John stood up and started pacing, "TIM got me a ship? With a crew and resources? Jesus. Why didn't he tell me sooner?"

"If it were my guess... He was trying to leave an impression for his cause."

"It didn't work."

"What are we going to do?" Tali, by reflex, reached for John's hands.

"After this mission, Tali… I really don't know." He squeezed her palms.

* * *

><p>When Garrus ended the call, he sighed and went straight to fridge for some water and a hot meal. When it was done heating in the microwave, he went on his way down to the main battery to get started on his calibrating. Before he could take the first bite out of his steaming steak, Miranda walked in behind him.<p>

"Mr. Vakarian."

"I'm not going to even take a guess as to why you're here." He put his turian version of a fork down and looked at the woman.

"I was contacted by EDI." Miranda began.

"And?"

"I don't take kindly to demure ploys."

The turian shoved a mouthful of food into his open mouth and chewed. He did it to piss her off.

He knew humans didn't think very highly of what a turian looked like when they ate. And judging by the way Miranda gaze faltered when his mandibles started glistening from grease, it put on the effect he wanted.

"Do not imitate the illusion of control on me, Mrs. Lawson." He slurped, "I'm the closest damn thing to getting Shepard in on this. So I'd suggest you stop tapping in on my self-mumbled conversation about eezo applications in the battery."

"You've taken the liberty of removing them without bringing the issue to us first."

Garrus sighed and pushed his plate to the table next to his unassembled gun.

"Lawson, I'm sure you know a lot about me."

"Everything I needed to know." She replied.

"Then there's your answer. I expected this kind of resistance." He stood up and easily towered a foot over her. "And I will not put up with it."

"Mr. Vakarian." She stared him right in the eye, "If you have any complaints, then take them up with me. The memos you have been putting across is gratuitous and unnecessary."

"Oh, but it is. My point needed to be made. If you want my help? If you want _Shepard's_ help? Then we need to trust each other enough without wiring every wall with a tap." He took the last envelope he had that was for Chakwas (stuffed with more broken listening devices) into her hand, "It's a request, Mrs. Lawson. Please accept it."

She took the envelope, nodded, and walked out.

She was not used to dealing with people like this.

Not one bit.


	45. Getting Acquainted

A/N: I expect some nice hearty reviews! Especially form people I'VE NEVER HEARD OF THAT READ MY STORY.

* * *

><p>"Hey Juel."<p>

"Hey Tali. Get a good night's rest?" Juel plopped the plastic bag on the table John and Tali were sitting at.

"Yeah…" Tali lied.

She glanced at John who hadn't faired any better in terms of sleep.

"…you could say that."

She slept _terribly_. And John did too.

And it wasn't because they weren't used to sleeping next to each other.

The exact opposite, actually.

They'd both had been mulling over the better part of the night about Garrus and his 'proposition' on actually _**joining**_ Cerberus. It made for a terrible conversation piece. So she held her tongue.

"Anything I need to be made aware of?" Juel asked by leaning forward a little bit to push the issue.

"No." Tali replied before yawning, "It's fine. I'll tell you later sometime. What's that?" Tali pointed at the bag Juel put down on the table.

"Food."

"What did you get?"

"Uhm, let me see." Juel looked up and started listing exotic quarian dishes with his fingers, "Fresh ins'k filet, seared ju'pah vessel, and syalak for Shepard."

"Liar." Tali mumbled.

"Syalak." John said with a mundane grunt, "Tali told me back on the Normandy that '_syalak'_ tastes like battered varren shit."

John peered into the plastic bag. "…That and I couldn't eat it anyways." He added.

"I was being _sarcastic_." Juel said exasperatedly, "Tali's very aware that the Neema _doesn't_ own a buffet, and a choice in the matter doesn't exist." He chided with a scoff. "I got some oral _paste_ for Tali and I, and some…" Juel fetched for one of the tubes and read it, "Eggs and… er, _pohtaetoh_ for you in your food box." He stuffed the tube back in the bag, "And we need to leave in five minutes if we want to make it on time. We're meeting with the others to get taxied to the Rayya."

"_Asshole_." Tali said quietly enough for Juel not to hear.

"Let's go then." John swayed with his hand for Juel to lead the way as he got up. Tali grabbed the bag of food and followed Juel with John.

"How you feeling?" He asked after tapping her shoulder.

"I could use some coffee." Tali replied, "We hardly got any sleep."

"I know… I'm still thinking about Garrus too." The hallways started getting more crowded with people.

"What should we do?"

"I have no idea, Tali. We'll think more of it when we're on our way to you know where."

"Okay." The three of them started climbing the ladders.

Tali glanced at John and smiled. "How do you like it here so far?"

"Everything I hoped it would be." He replied with a grin.

"Good. It's not like you're allowed to say anything else." Tali laughed.

John snorted at the joke and shook his head as they kept climbing. "Have to ask. Why no elevator for the quarters?"

"It's been broken since before I got here. We haven't been able to find the parts to get a replacement."

"Oh." He made this gesture that amounted to a shrug, "Ah, you don't need them. It's good exercise for the legs anyways."

"Okay, you straight legged freak." Tali teased. She poked his leg with her two toes to make a point.

"You wanna make fun of my legs? Seriously? How many times have you stubbed your toes with your chicken feet?"

Tali looked at her feet before glaring at him.

They finally reach the Neema's main floor and hobbled off the ladders.

"More than I care to admit. And I know _exactly_ what a chicken is. I boogled it."

"Did you." John retorted with a smirk.

"And my feet look _nothing_ like a chicken's."

Juel rolled his eyes at their aimless conversation.

"I know, I know." John relented with a sigh.

"They're bad-ass claw feet." Tali shot back, "Get on my level."

It was John's turn to roll his eyes as he tapped Juel's shoulder. "Yeah. You should have seen the bed she ruined back at the hotel, Juel. What a mess."

Tali's jaw dropped. "Juel. _Juel_, listen to _me_. He's _**lying**_."

"You know what…" Juel raised his hands and swayed his head in a way that told him he wasn't in the least bit interested, "That's a story worth keeping for when I need it."

Juel turned away and kept walking. John shrugged, took a full on punch on the shoulder, and watched Tali keep her distance from both of them.

John couldn't help but laugh.

"I bet that smile's gonna disappear when you meet my dad." Tali said without ever looking back at him.

The smile evaporated off his face.

* * *

><p>In about two seconds, John was about to meet Admiral Rael'Zorah Vas Rayya.<p>

A man known to virtually every quarian _alive_.

Responsible for the lives of seventeen _million _people.

Responsible for their safety and wellbeing.

Responsible for the fleet's resources and for whom they would be dispensed for.

And a dozen other things John was sure he could add to that list.

John took in a deep breath, stared at Tali, and walked through the doors to the conference room.

There, by himself, was Rael'Zorah in the flesh, with a single light hovering above him as he reviewed notes in a paper book.

By no extension did he look like an admiral. Besides the small cloth patch on his left breast, there weren't any other markings Shepard could make out.

His _Realk_ sported the same pattern scheme as Tali's, although his was more of a bluish-gray tone.

If he noticed John, Tali, and Juel walk in, he paid it no mind.

John had to stop himself from marching directly to the man before saluting and standing at attention.

Or maybe he'd like that…

"Tali." Rael greeted.

He looked up to her before immediately looking at John. "Who is this?"

"Shepard?" She whispered while her hands wrung anxiously, "Would you like to introduce yourself?"

Rael faced the commander again.

John stood up straighter.

"Commander John Alan Shepard. Alliance Navy."

Rael turned back to Tali. "Is this a joke?"

"No, dad. It isn't. Shepard's alive. And you're looking at him."

Rael stood up from his chair, put his hands behind his back, and walked straight up to John.

"You said he passed, Tali." Rael said as if John wasn't standing right in front of him.

"I got better," John replied, "sir."

"Why are you here?"

"Seeking asylum."

"From whom?"

"Cerberus."

Rael nodded, and seemingly satisfied with Shepard's answer, sat back down. "Is that all?"

John grimaced.

Tali wasn't kidding.

This man was _hard_ to keep a conversation with. Even a _professional_ one. And the way Tali was lightly bouncing on her toes only made him feel that more uncomfortable.

"No. Tali told me she's on a mission. And I want to be a part of it."

"Absolutely not." Rael opened his book again and resumed his notes.

He tossed a confused glance to both Tali and Juel while his mouth hung open.

"I don't think you fully understand what's going on, Admiral." John intoned politely.

"I do." Rael looked back up and didn't bother setting his pen down, "Two years you've spent destroying my daughter's _life_ on the periphery of _your_ actions. Unintentional or not, those two years will be two she'll _never_ get back. Whatever string you've plucked with Cerberus is none of the Migrant Fleet's concern."

John was in _total_ shock. So shocked in fact, that John had to rethink what he just said.

It didn't look like Rael was done ranting. "She _loved_ you, Commander Shepard. It was evident in the way she grieved for you. Though her mourning seems unfounded now; since the man she lost is standing in _front_ of me."

Rael jotted down a sentence in his book. "I will _not_ let her go down that path again."

"That's not your choice to make." Tali murmured.

He jammed a punctuation mark at the end of his sentence, and pointed the end of his pen at her. "This is not up for debate. This man goes in hiding and doesn't make even the _slightest_ effort in contacting any of you? Who's to say he isn't an _imposter? _Who's to say he isn't some charlatan, hubristic, _simpleton_ out to make a gain from _my_ _daughter_?"

"Now you hold on _**one**_ second." John pointed straight at Rael, "I _**was**_ dead. And _now_ you owe me an _apology_."

Rael was quiet and put his pen down slowly.

"In reference to _what_? My spiteful 'insinuation'? Please, Mr. Shepard: Enlighten me. The situation you've herded yourself into doesn't leave much to interpret."

John leaned forward and felt like his teeth were ready spew words he hadn't felt like saying in a long time. He hammered away the anger and explained himself instead.

"Cerberus found my body. And brought me back. And here I am. Getting the _hell_ away from them. And I am not, under any circumstance, an imposter, nor do I intend to make _**any**_ gain from your daughter."

Rael kept staring and John swallowed hard. "Now that you've got the gist of what's going on, interested in hearing more?" John included.

When the silence ensued, John started to wonder what exactly was swimming in the admiral's head.

Either he was going to listen, escort him to a cell to rot, or shoot him in the head. So far, the game looked even.

John gulped.

"Elaborate." Rael finally asked without sounding like he was asking.

"The details are vague. Some things I can remember… and some things I can't." John shrugged, "What do you want to know?"

"What cell group were you in?"

"Lazarus cell."

"The operatives assigned to your…'reincarnation'?"

"Operatives Miranda and Wilson…" John's brows scrunched up, "Hold on. How the hell do you know how Cerberus works?"

"They've initiated contact with potential job offers in the past. All of it years ago. And all of them declined respectfully. Just from that, we've learned that they work in cells and have up to three operatives known personally by The Illusive Man to oversee them."

John quickly saw himself standing on some common ground.

It may have been just moments ago that they'd just acquainted (albeit horribly)… But John decided to take the chance at mentioning the Idenna.

With luck, it'd put him under a better light for Rael to look through.

"Tali told me they attacked one of your ships a while back."

Rael nodded and John had to smile at that. Seemed like Tali's dad was opening up a little bit now.

"Yes. They did. They'd even sent us a well-mannered apology, if memory serves. Something along the lines of preserving 'Cerberus Interests'."

"That's sick."

"It is." Rael agreed, "Not only did we decline the apology, but _sought_ them out. They were reimbursed for their mistake via orbital bombardment on not just one, but _two_ of their cells in the traverse."

"Tell me you hit them right where they needed to be."

"Oh, we did." Rael let a small grim smile show, "They've yet to reply to _our_ letter of apology."

"You never told me about this, father." Tali said dumbfounded, "I could've helped."

"None necessary, Tali."

"I have to ask, who were they after when they attacked your ship?" John crossed his arms.

"Your own kind. They've been granted protection and asylum." Rael replied.

"Who are they?"

"I'm not at liberty to say… Shala is in charge of that. I don't even know their names."

"Sir. You want more information on Cerberus… and I want to participate in this mission with Tali. Can we make a bargain?"

Rael twirled the pen he held around slowly as he chewed over the idea. "Prove to me your Commander Shepard."

This time, John knew how to answer this one. And in this way, Tali would know without a doubt it was him through and through.

"The last time I saw Tali before I died… was on the Denmark. It was one deck above the Hanger, right next to the elevator. I told her: 'Do your magic, hun; I'll be back before you know it.'"

John looked down and stared at the floor. "Took me two years to get back. Sorry Tali."

Tali didn't bother saying anything.

"Is what he said true, Tali?"

"Yes." She murmured.

Rael took one deep breath and relented. "Very well. Take your seats. The briefing will start in ten minutes."

John let out the biggest breath he'd ever held in his life.

"Thank you, sir."

Rael ignored him.

Tali waved him over to take a seat. When he did, John glanced at the conspicuously silent Juel before looking at Rael who remained at his desk writing in his book.

"Tali… I talk with your dad again, he's going to give me cancer."

"That went better than I expected…" Tali said instead, "I was expecting a fist fight or something."

"I'm surprised he even mentioned our relationship…" John twiddled his thumbs and kept his stare forward, "But I think I got on his good side with mentioning Cerberus."

"You certainly did score some points." Tali added, "You did good, John."

"Yeah. I hope so. How long do briefings like this go?"

"Two hours before an intermission. Then maybe another two hours. We're planning on staying at Haestrom for a while."

* * *

><p>"And <em><span><strong>this<strong>_ is why we need to buff out the Cerberus logo." Garrus hissed as he dragged the half-naked screaming woman covered in horrendous tattoos to a jail cell.

They took the elevator down, and Garrus had to pin the woman twice against the corner (a little more forcefully than he had to) to make her stop struggling. She wasn't much without her blue magic.

Miranda kept facing forward with her hands placed squarely behind her back and tried to ignore the insanities subject-zero was spewing from her blood caked mouth.

So far, Miranda had been called a slut, a raging cunt, a whore, a bitch, a fanatic cock-sucker, cum dumpster, and anal deprivator.

Miranda didn't take too kindly to the insults (Much less understand the last one), but ignored them none the less.

The op had _not_ turned out in the best of fashions.

Four Cerberus soldiers and two of Garrus' men were killed from whole skirmish between the Blue-Suns, mechs, prisoners, and of course, Subject Zero.

And it all started because Zaeed had an _immense_ amount of history with the Blue-Suns. And when Miranda learned that, she instantly regretted having Zaeed join them on a bloody Blue-Suns _station_ for the transfer.

Zaeed did not, by any means instigate the situation. The Blue-Suns had started it by trying to tackle the mercenary and cuff him for their supposed leader 'Vido Santiago'. To 'end a fight that'd been decades in the making.'

Under no circumstance were they going to leave Zaeed behind. Not only was he a competent individual, but Garrus, with the permission of Miranda of course, made a _very_ vocal rule among the crew to not leave _anyone_ behind for their time on the Normandy. Having Zaeed hauled away like meat on a slab to a cell like the prisoners here constituted as such.

That and it didn't do well for loyalty or morale to know that you'd run the risk of being signed off by your peers as a statistic before having the Illusive man read the report and send in a replacement.

It just wasn't going to happen.

Miranda and Garrus barely had a moment to exchange glances before putting a bullet into the three mercenaries that escorted them for Jack's transfer, including the men who made an attempt to haul off Massani.

Everything spiraled down from there.

Eventually, after they had released subject-zero from her cell, and after they had finally caught up to her, tried to convince the erratic woman to join their cause.

And as soon as the half-naked woman saw that Miranda and the Normandy were sporting a Cerberus logo, she attacked them.

The monster had been tazed, pepper sprayed, flash-banged, and riddled with bruises from rubber bullets and bean-bags. And it _still_ wasn't enough to stop the woman. By the time they had her in cuffs and had deactivated her biotics, she'd killed _two_ of Garrus' men.

The batarian and salarian.

Miranda said nothing when she opened the door to the cell before helping Garrus put subject zero inside.

"I'm sorry, Garrus." Miranda finally said when Garrus closed the sound-proof glass door.

The wall thudded repeatedly from subject zero's fists. It went on like that for a full minute until her knuckles were bloody.

Garrus watched it all with a tight lipped frown.

"Tell that to the six people we fucking lost today, Mrs. Lawson. I lost two of my _own_ for a _fucking_ psycho that isn't the least bit concerned about what we're going up against. We decide at the end of the day if we put a _bullet_ in the back of her head. Am I _clear_?"

"That isn't your decision." Miranda said.

Garrus' jaw clenched and he leaned near the wall with his back facing her.

"You're right." He said before rearing on her.

He unholstered his firearm and thrust it her way. "It's _yours_, Miranda. _Make_ the decision. I'll be the first to send her body out an airlock with what she did to _my_ people."

Garrus walked past Mordin who'd just walked out of the elevator before pressing the button to get himself back up to give the rest of his team the bad news.

Mordin watched Garrus lean back in the lift before the doors closed.

"Heard what happened." Mordin began, "Came as soon as I could."

"Dr. Solus… Is Dr. Chakwas on her way?"

"Yes. Had things to grab. Paralytics. Suppressants." Mordin's wide eyes examined Jack and tapped his chin, "Damage superficial, I hope?"

Miranda gave subject zero a careful once over and shook her head. "Not exactly. Potential concussions. Broken ribs and fingers, sprained wrists, and a fractured nose."

"Can tell." Mordin breathed.

Jack spat a blood-ridden loogie at the glass and Mordin watched it dribble down to the floor.

Mordin pointed to the gun Miranda carried. "Rifle still in hands. Why?" He asked, "Prepared for something?"

Miranda looked at the rifle and shook her head. "No." She lied.

Garrus' words rung in her head.

"But Garrus' rifle." He pointed at the markings. It took the salarian all of a second to see what was going on. "Two of team dead. Direct result of her. Get suspicion he wants to kill her."

Miranda ejected the half used heat sink and watched it clatter to floor before leaning the gun against the wall.

"He does."

"Fully agree with him. Risk not worth undertaking. Liability for safety of crew and Normandy itself."

Miranda sighed and couldn't shake the feeling that Garrus and Mordin were right. But she had orders. Justifications to meet for the means to an end.

"We'll work on that, doctor. Right now she is a liability. But hopefully…"

Subject Zero gave them both bloody middle fingers and mouthed 'fuck you' to them.

"...We'll get her to join the cause."

"Tenacity admirable, Mrs. Lawson. But not sure if spent on right things."

* * *

><p>At the very front row was John, Tali, Juel, Prazza, Kal, Olasie, and the rest of the company's respective squad leaders.<p>

After the intermission for everyone to take a break and stretch their legs, they all clambered back into the room and took their seats before the briefing resumed.

The mission was going to be a _colossal_ undertaking. Eighty three men and women were preparing to go to Haestrom.

Twelve scientists to sample the environment and observe Dholen and her planets.

Eight engineers, two of them experts on radiation applications and dark matter.

Three architect specialists (A narrow description given their wide ranged application in the knowledge)

And sixty three soldiers (which also doubled as crew for the ship that would take them to and from the planet).

John, Tali, and Juel were not included in this number.

And the briefing went on for another two hours, and eventually, everyone filed out until only the front row was left.

John leaned his head back on the worn head rest and shook his head.

His fears were justified.

Geth space.

Equipment that was going to be prone to failure.

It was going to be hot.

The buildings were old. _Really_ old.

The MGRS was inaccurate. (Three hundred and sixteen years old to be exact)

The intel was limited.

At least he was surrounded by competency. And he'd acquainted himself with several more quarians.

But the worst of that list?

The Reapers.

The height of the briefing had been when Rael and Han revealed that the reapers is what had spooked them into investigating why Dohlen, Haestrom's parent star, had suddenly turned into a red giant.

And now he understood why Tali had insisted they do this mission.

The leadership grouped up together and discussed amongst themselves about the finer details of the mission. Stuff like, who'd be on what shifts, the equipment they'd be bringing, or how the responsibilities were going to be split.

John's eyes felt like bulging out of his head and the pressure behind his sockets was building.

There was nothing John wouldn't do to just sit down in some pajamas, sip some coffee, and go over the operation order printed out on a packet of paper. Call it weird, but it was therapeutic in a way. He'd also admit that having Tali sleeping in his bed would help. Something to look at and admire when he'd rest his eyes from reading and reviewing. Call it creepy, or even _really_ creepy, but it didn't sound like it could get any better than that.

What John would do if he could get a pot of hot coffee to himself. If he took Garrus on his offer (Which he probably was going to do), then the first stop he'd make prior to joining the second "Normandy" would be at wherever they could get a Teurig Roaster.

"Tali. Commander Shepard." Prazza waved them over to join the huddle, "Juel. You too." He added.

"What's up?" Tali asked when they all joined.

"We want to know more about the reapers." Kal answered quietly. Everyone nodded.

John and Tali exchange glances.

"What do you want to know?" John shrugged.

"Everything." Kal motioned, "At least what you know."

"Well. Where do I begin…" He put his hands on his hips and decided he start with anything that was on the forefront of his thoughts, "You saw the vids two years back right? That giant black dreadnaught with legs attacking the Citadel?"

"Yeah. Of course. The video with it docking with the Citadel Chambers. Had over a trillion hits." Prazza said with a lilt in his voice. (He didn't want to admit he'd spent a lot of his spare time watching vid-tube)

"Good. Forget everything you know about them. Because _everyone_ is wrong." John said with a sway of his hand, "He was not a geth construct and by _no_ circumstance did it belong to Saren."

"We're aware that the Geth aided themselves with Saren." Kal mentioned carefully.

"It's more complicated than that. The Geth didn't exactly team up with Saren. They teamed up with that Reaper. The giant legged dreadnaught's name was Sovereign. And he was sentient artificial intelligence."

Ten pairs of glowing unblinking eyes stare straight into John's soul when he spit A.I. from his mouth.

Wow that was awkward. The barest hint of a frown played across his lips and he blinked rapidly.

Tali intervened to help explain further. John understood how quarians felt with AI's. She knew he'd taken to heart how personally she'd taken it all.

He just needed to work on his tact a little more.

"This goes back _millions_ of years." She said with care, "We don't know how they were created or what they want to do with us. All we know is that they cycle around every fifty thousand years to wipe out sentient life across our galaxy."

"What could they possibly get out of that?" Prazza wondered, "Do they do this to other galaxies?"

"I don't know." John answered, "We don't know the 'why' or 'how'. All we know is the 'who' and 'what'."

Some share nods.

Others still seemed unconvinced.

"Look. I know. Believe me. It's hard to wrap your heads around this." John didn't know if his words brought them any comfort, but they needed to know. "Honestly, this is the first time I've ever talked about this to anyone outside of the Alliance and Citadel Council."

John shook his head. "And I'm not even sure if they see it the same way Tali and I do."

"Seems pretty obvious to me." Kal intoned with a grunt, "Plus. The council can screw off. I'd take your judgment over theirs any day of the year."

John tried to smile at the sentiment. He wanted the people in front of him to know. He needed them to understand. But not under the precursor that 'just because the Citadel won't listen, I will.'

"I can understand their reasoning." John defended them lightly, "It's a big stretch to tell them what I did."

Kal was having none of that. And neither was Prazza. "Surely you've given them evidence on the contrary. You've backed your accusations with evidence, correct?" Prazza argued.

"Of course. We recorded everything during our missions."

"And what did they say?" Prazza was pretty sure his question was rhetorical at this point.

John shook his head. "Never got an answer. It's… _complicated_." He said disappointedly.

He wasn't lying. It really _was_ complicated. But what John really wanted to say was: 'No. I died before they gave me an answer. And I have no clue what opinion the Citadel or Alliance has on the matter.'

For now, he'd keep his mouth shut and help cycle the confusion out of the conversation. The Reapers were doing enough of that.

It looked like Tali didn't give any dissent in trying to downplay the fact he died either.

And because of that, John had no problem believing the Citadel and Alliance did the same to him to what they were doing to Kal, Prazza, and the others now.

The Citadel and Alliance, undoubtedly, buried his image and what he represented before claiming it'd all been some giant misconstrued fallacy and that the reaper threat had really been finished with Saren and his death.

But he was back. And the news had made him a galactic celebrity again.

And because of that, what repercussions would lay in now for him and the rest of Shepard's team and crew?

He and Tali had been broadcasted across the _entire_ galaxy because of Illium's news agencies. Conspiracy theorists and investigators alike would scrounge whatever they could to make sense of it all.

And that announcement wouldn't just affect him. He wondered what would transpire against the others of the Normandy and her crew. They'd be under the spotlight, yet again… and they probably wanted none of it.

Hopefully, if not regrettably, Cerberus was on the job to help delay the inevitable.

He only wondered when all this would fly back and hit both him and Tali right in the ass for that night on Illium at the South Star café.

"This is the way I see it." Prazza threw his opinion in and pointed behind him as if he were pointing straight at the Citadel itself, "It's been _two_ years. If they weren't with you right then and there, then they weren't persuaded. And seeing that everyone unionized with the Citadel hasn't been upping their military prowess or industrial capacity since they destroyed that reaper says something."

Prazza knew it was _immensely_ more complex than that. But there should have been some correlation, right?

"I don't know." John admitted, "I just don't know."

Kal stepped up next to Prazza. "You've got us, at least. It's a start."

"It's more than a start." Tali said aloud, "The conclave and the board are behind the reaper threat."

"There you go. That's something. You've got what pretty much amounts to our entire species then standing right behind you. They may not all know it yet... but they will soon."

Shepard smiled.

He'd lost his ship… half his crew… lost all credibility (supposedly) that followed soon after the incident on Ullipses...

He'd lost everything.

_Including_ his life.

But he was back.

And now Tali was at his side again. He lived on a new ship. Just got back in contact with his best friend, and suddenly had the backing of seventeen million people and the largest flotilla of ships the galaxy had ever seen.

Even if it was just some platoon lieutenant (which was still a weird title to John) saying it meant _all_ the difference in the galaxy.

John wasn't exactly familiar with the intricacies of quarian government, but if he got backed by the conclave and board, then he'd finally have an ally he could jot down on a list. This war was going to be won with alliances.

John didn't know if Cerberus understood that. Maybe Cerberus was willing to toss aside Humanity's moral compass and scape-goat everyone else in galactic society to preserve what they stood for.

Fortunately, that wasn't going to happen.

Cerberus gave him a second chance. And he was going to fulfill that chance by making it a mission to get the whole galaxy prepared for what would come.

But one nagging little thought tugged at the other side of his rope of hope.

How the _fuck_ was he going to do all that?!

To say it was light-years beyond him would be an understatement!

By no extension was he some heavily revered political diplomat. A political figure maybe at one point, but nothing else. That alone wasn't going to save the galaxy.

He actually didn't know _what_ would save them. Even if they had banded together, and even if they had united all efforts and fronts, would it make any bigger of a difference? Would the numbers still be trifling on the right side of a decimal point? Would it only amount to a pinchful of victories that weren't even worth mentioning?

Once again, John couldn't answer.

He could understand why Ash way back when would pray every night.

John could see the appeal.

It felt like you were doing _something_ in the face of total uncertainty. It felt like you could always fall back on some kind of bigger plan, even when you were backed into the deepest and darkest corner you'd ever been stuffed in. The ambiguity would suddenly not look so ambiguous anymore… even if the ambiguity was the reapers, and the collectors, and the geth, and a whole slew of other things John could pick through on the top of his head.

And based on the experiences of John's life, it wouldn't do _any_ good.

Pray all you want… but the reapers weren't going to be defeated by racking up sincere calls to a god.

The only thing would stop them would be dreadnaughts. And men to run those dreadnaughts. And men to build those dreadnaughts, and families to support the men to build those dreadnaughts. And the men to defend the lives of the men's families and the men themselves to build the dreadnaughts.

They weren't going to offer some reprisal against the reaper's unyielding onslaught that would come if the galaxy didn't get its fucking _shit_ together.

Plus, if a god _did_ exist, he or she didn't seem too keen on preserving any of the predecessors to this cycle.

John frowned. He wasn't bashing religion. It may have sounded like it, but he wasn't. Not intentionally, at least.

If anything, he respected Ash for her faith completely. For all he knew, he _could_ be wrong. That _one_ little murmured moment of meditation could transcend across the dimensions and send the reapers packing straight to the place where a god would send on his list of genocidal assholes who'd finally met their reckoning.

Who knew.

He'd prefer it that way. There'd definitely be a lot less blood-shed. And then he'd turn into a believer.

Speaking of Ashley… he wondered how she was doing. He'd have to find a way to contact her sometime. And whoever survived from the old crew.

John replied to Kal finally with a thin smile. "It's something." He repeated.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Hope you guys like where this is going.

I'm sure you've noticed, the Title has changed from Mass Effect Trepidation: Superlative Acquisition has Changed to Mass Effect Premonition: End of Dawn Just FYI.

Mass Effect Degredation: The Value of Organic Life has Changed to Mass Effect Dissolution: Fall of Normandy. It is also getting a remake again. I've already got half way through. It'll read less like frakenstein novel and more like the way my reading style is now. That and I'll be adding and changing some parts. Though some parts will remain the same, just with simpler words.

Stay tuned!


	46. I'm not done yet

A/N: Hope you guys enjoy. I've been extraordinarily busy lately, and you can tell by the lack of releases... I'm going to make an effort to try and roll them out more regularly. Enjoy!

* * *

><p>It was a mistake.<p>

That's what it was.

A giant, brewing, boiling, _mistake_.

"I'd arrest that pompous bastard. He's _lying_, Rael. You should have told me this before the goddamn briefing."

Rael's fingers brush over the edge of his notebook and flip the pages repeatedly while he thought it all over.

He didn't bother replying to Han; his head was too wrapped up with worry to.

"Rael, did you hear me?"

"Yes." He replied.

Rael wanted to explain to Han what it was like to foresee a mistake your daughter was going to make. But it wasn't particularly enriching for someone like Han to go into such detail.

He trusted Tali. Loved her _immensely_. Proud of her.

Though her judgment had been… under some ambiguity lately. More so after the schism she developed in her behavior since returning from pilgrimage.

She was a different woman now.

She still stammered apologies endlessly around him. Still wrung her hands anxiously whenever she'd get nervous or backed into an endless conversation about stuff she never liked talking about.

But the attitude changed.

Two years ago she'd happily sit by and listen to a lecture or converse about Eezo-block theory or the latest shipment of supplies they could use to repair or replace something.

Now it was about how fast she could get her work done so she could retire for the night.

The fire was gone.

It… _worried_ him. So drastically, in fact, that Rael had made attempts at trying to change and reconcile his ways after Shala had called him out on his lack of attention. But the signals he received from Tali in return for his efforts were shrugged off and ignored. Likely too wrapped up with Shepard's death.

Rael used to label her with a wide magnitude of qualities.

Unyielding perseverance.

Determinant.

Compassionate.

Directed.

Stubborn even (A trait of her mother's).

He'd never openly expressed his praise. Not directly in front of her anyways.

She didn't need it. And he realized, years after it was too late, that he should have. He should have praised her the way a father should.

But it was different today. And it was obvious why.

The two hours that Rael was giving the briefing, he'd noticed, from every glance he'd give her, that her mood mirrored the Tali he'd known back three years before.

As a father, it did well to see the most important person in your life look happy.

On the other hand, it made him realize it was one of the one things he'd failed as a father. The time he made Tali smile as a child could only have been numbered in the dozens.

After his wife died…

Well.

It was never.

Shepard had been the 'tipping of the bucket', if lack for better word. The 'helping hand' or the 'ladder of reprieve'.

From what Rael could tell, John was helping her climb out of the hole she had fallen into.

If Rael were to do anything other than begrudgingly accept this 'relationship', Tali would, without a doubt, bury herself willingly in her hole rather than climb out.

"He's still here. If you want to talk to him, now's the time." Han said, interrupting Rael's aimless pondering, "I won't say anymore. Though the best place, I believe, for Shepard, is in a goddamn holding cell. At least until you can make the determination of where he stands and whether or not he is legitimate. The Real Shepard was goddamn hero. Either he's turned into a lying loser, or an imposter working for Cerberus."

"Or maybe's he's telling the truth." Rael said mostly to himself.

The words sounded empty.

Han gathered his personal belongings, ignored what Rael just said, and leveled one last stagnant stare at the other admiral. "See you until next time, Rael."

Rael nodded as he left and finally put his notebook back on the table with a meager sigh.

He contemplated his choices, then decided to page his assistant.

"Keenlah. Please have Shepard escorted to my office at his next available opportunity. I wish to speak with him. Personally."

* * *

><p>"And it was right here." Tali said through a smile as she watched the Rayya's irrigation system sway and rumble with a sludge of a biomass.<p>

"Wow…" John replied. He peered at the dozens of valves and buttons to try and make out what they said. Then he remembered they were in a different language.

"Tell me what it tasted like." John asked.

"The sweetest and softest thing I've ever tasted. Literally _melts_ in your mouth. I'd fight Sovereign again just for another bite."

"That good, huh?"

"It only exists on the Rayya. And Rannoch, of course."

She leaned on the counter next to her and pointed with her chin to a group of 'tourists' (as the Rayya's home dwellers called them) line up to get their small piece of fruit. Many of them bounced on their toes or tilted their heads to get a better look out of the man near the front slice it up for them to sample.

"See that?" Tali said.

"Yeah." He nodded.

"They're visiting. An official field trip. Every quarian takes a visit to one of the live-ships someday. And part of that field trip is to get some of that." She pointed at the guy who started inserting the sliced fruit in a device that would purify, seal, and package the single slice to be distributed.

"How do they eat it?" John asked, puzzled.

"SM-10's." She turned to him to explain, "Solid Meal, Version 10. With the right stuff, they can eat it right here without having to take off their helmets.

"All that just to eat." He whispered sadly, "How often do they get to do this?"

"Once. That's it." Tali shrugged and looked at the line of quarians happily getting their wrapped piece of fruit, "Part of me wants to sneak in line for some. But that'd be wrong. And Pas over there knows me anyways."

John, inwardly, frowned.

Not just two hours ago, he had a sizable helping of some packaged pineapple to snack on while Tali showed him around the _Rayya_.

Close to four hundred years before, the weirdly shaped earth fruit was a delicacy to large parts of Europe, and to an extension, Colonial America. It was so rare and expensive, that people would, quite literally, _'rent'_ the fruit just to have it on display at the host's party or celebration.

A conversation piece to brag about during the festivities with drink, fall-off-the-bone pork, and jam.

To sample its deliciousness would have cost _thousands_ of credits if one were to compare the price today.

To the quarians, it was _that_ rare. Actually, _more_ rare than that.

And here he was with a whole box back on the _Neema_ full of the damn things in single serve packets.

It was curse in its own right. Some things needed to be taken for granted. And the list of things the quarians could take for granted could probably fit on a post-it.

And those things were family and friends.

He stuffed the negative thought to the back of his mind.

"Maybe I can get in the line for you." John joked by leaning next to her. He put on a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Please. A quarian could spot you a light year away."

"Okay. Funny. A space pun. Like I haven't heard of that one before."

She snorted and laughed. "And you haven't ever used one? Who doesn't like a good space pun?"

He ignored her. "Here's a good substitute, Tali. Next chance you get, buy some dextrose sugar in bulk. And eat it."

"That's disgusting."

"Maybe." He crossed his arms and pointed with an elbow at the bundle of quarians chewing away and conversing about the experience, "But you'll lose the sweet tooth."

Tali shook her head and leaned closer to him so their arms touched. "I don't know how we always end up talking about weird things like this."

"Neither do I."

She nodded quickly. "Not that I'm complaining." She said quickly.

"It's better than talking about you know what." He breathed with a sigh.

"Agreed."

She stayed quiet for a moment. "Well. That's the end of the tour. We can do part two and three whenever we get the chance to visit again. The shuttle's going to be leaving back to the Neema soon anyways. Best if we get to the docking bay."

"Thanks Tali. I had a lot of fun. And seeing everyone staring at me was the best part. Especially the other quarian women. Hot damn. Pretty good looking veil's man. I tell you."

"Shut-Up."

"Tali'Zorah. Commander Shepard."

Tali's head tilted at the familiar voice. She turned around and was surprised to see her dad's assistant.

"Keenlah…" Tali stuttered, "Hi… what can we do for you?"

"Your father wishes to speak with the commander." Keenlah said, staring blankly at both of them.

Tali hung her shoulders in worry and tried to hide it.

"Oh, that's fine, I guess." She turned to John and shrugged, "Come on. Let's go, John."

"Alone." Keenlah added flatly.

Tali's words left her mouth. Her jaw hung for a moment and looked at John again. When nothing came out of him either, she shrugged worriedly. "Okay…" she whispered. Her hands started wringing anxiously.

"But, how will we get back to the Neema?"

"He'll be taking a separate ride back." Keenlah answered.

_What? _

Tali didn't like this at _all_. Alone was one thing, but she wasn't going to take a trip to the Neema and leave John on the Rayya. Call her clingy, but if something bad was going to happen, she was going to be right there for it. Her shoulder's straightened out.

"I'm not leaving." Tali said with finality, "I'll wait." She crossed her arms and dared Keenlah to disagree.

When Keenlah was going to argue even further, John raised a hand to save the woman's breath.

"That's perfectly fine. I can go. No big deal."

"I'm _still_ not leaving." Tali said.

"You can bring that up with Admiral Zorah." Keenlah relented, "Follow me, you're father's pressed for time."

* * *

><p>While Tali waited outside her father's office, John stepped inside, alone, and saw Rael with his hands clasped behind him watching the ships that would pass by his window.<p>

It was quiet. Other than Rayya's thrumming hum of her gryo-ducts and slowly moving sludge of biomass meters below their feet, was John's erratic, anxiety ridden, gulps of breath.

He did not want to get into another argument with the guy.

"Reporting as requested, Admiral." Shepard announced. Out of formality, he stood at parade rest and looked ahead.

Rael finally turned around and faced the human.

"At ease, Mr. Shepard."

John took his moment to look around his office. Beside his desk, computer, notebook, and pen holder, it was bare.

Not a single frame of his wife or a holo of his daughter.

No doodled drawings Tali had drawn when she was young…

No letters, or notes, or a meaningful card his wife would have given him…

There wasn't the barest hint of _anything_ that would remind him of family.

Above his desk, however, was a single picture of a sunny and bright shoreline. Above that, was a shelf full of colored patches of fabric, stitched with small insignias that had to be the human equivalent of medals he'd earned over his career.

Either Tali wasn't exaggerating with the resource supply, or Rael kept a thick line between what was considered professional and not.

Both equally depressing answers.

_Would his home be any different?_

John couldn't find himself an answer when Rael sat down in his chair.

"Please. Sit."

John sat.

"You wanted to see me?"

"Yes. I did." Rael took off his omni-bracelet and set it aside next to his notebook before sighing.

"Tell me why I should let you stay."

John's brows furrowed, and, with a second to think, spoke.

"She came back from pilgrimage." Was all he managed to say.

Rael leaned back, turned his chair around, and pointed to the portrait of the shoreline above them both.

"You see that?"

"Yes."

"It's the Capital of Veras. Her shoreline." He explained with a wary whisper, "Considered one of the most beautiful on the entire planet of Rannoch. Just south of the republics of Gera and Raymoh. Formally considered a meeting ground for international affairs."

John stayed quiet and listened.

"They'd sit in the sand, under Rannoch's sun, and discuss the continuity of a country's relationship to the other. Fares and goods, trades and tariffs, exports and imports."

"What republic did Veras belong to?" John put in curiously.

"Veras belonged to the Grand Republics of Moranah. That picture… Is older than you, than me, and any krogan alive today."

Now that John got a better look out of it, it really _did_ look old. He wondered, just for a moment, how it'd been preserved so well.

"That's old."

"It is. Passed down the line, generation after generation… and eventually to me." Rael finally turned back around, "The Zorah's we're descendants of Moranah." He stated factually, "They were the envoys of our republic… and one of the last cities on Rannoch to fall during our exile."

Rael looked back at the picture again, like he did every day he was in his office, and shook his head.

"I'm sure you know very well of what happened during our exile."

"Tali has made me very aware, yes." John answered.

"It was the downfall of my _entire_ species." Rael began anyway, "Two hundred eighty nine years we've been without a homeworld. And not once during these past three centuries, has _anyone_ lent a hand to helping the quarian cause."

Rael took one small breath and held it. "_Billions_ dead. Parents murdered in their homes. Children, slaughtered in their schools. Families killed in their living room begging for their lives. It was _genocide_ in its entirety. One to be talked about in a _history_ book for millennia to come."

Everything Rael said John agreed with.

But John knew he'd never _truly_ understand what it was like to be denied even the most basic of freedoms that the rest of the galaxy took for granted.

And while John was intrigued by the small history lesson, he didn't exactly know where Rael was going with this.

"But something peculiar happened." Rael continued, "The man in front of me, a human, _fought_ the geth and _defeated_ them, _and_ was the very first to -_ever-_ help a quarian the way you did." He webbed his fingers together and set them on his notebook.

"According to Tali, you saved her life. Helped her with her pilgrimage, and allowed her access to the Normandy and _everything_ within. _Paid_ her even, for her services as an _equal_."

"All true." John affirmed.

"Why?" Rael asked.

John smiled and leaned as far back as comfort would allow; but wondered how he could answer the question without coming off as a pompous boasting ass.

"Why…?" John looked down momentarily.

The answer was obvious.

"Tali earned it." He said in a thoughtful whisper, "I'd give my _life_ for her if I had to. No questions asked."

Rael nodded and, for once, looked like he was smiling, albeit slightly. "I can't say which direction the future of my species is going… but if I had any say, you certainly were a step in the right direction for my daughter."

Rael's head dipped and it reminded John of Tali. "...Thank you, for what you did for her, Commander." He mumbled.

"You don't have to thank me sir. She deserves much more."

Rael nodded slowly and looked back up.

The man in front of him was definitely the same man his daughter had fallen in love with.

And while a human wouldn't have been the first option he'd want for his daughter, he couldn't complain. Saving the galaxy with Tali on his side scored the man some points worthy of keeping, he supposed.

"I couldn't agree more. You're free to leave. Welcome to the Flotilla, Shepard. With luck, the Neema's captain can push some papers and have you become an official member of her crew."

John's brows rose in surprise.

That easy then?

No long lasting animosity?

No butting heads?

No cell to be escorted to?

Just a little talk and little exchange of words?

Shit… That went better than expected.

"Thank you, Admiral." John stood up, saluted the man, and walked out.

The door opened, and Tali whirled around with a wide-eyed expression.

"Keelah. What happened?"

John smiled and reassured her with a pat on the shoulder. "Nothing. We're on good terms now, Tali. Let's go home."

"I was expecting you to be in there for hours… I think we still can make it in time for the ship to bring us back home if we run."

John chuckled, "Okay! Let's go."

* * *

><p><strong>Three Hours Later…<strong>

"Pass me the bolts."

"Which ones…?" John looked dumbly at the dozens of fastening bolts. Next to small pile was Tali's box of oddly shaped gizmos and tools Shepard couldn't put names to.

"The bigger ones. Right there. To your left, Shepard." Juel said in a hurry.

John handed him the bolts and Juel hovered them over the open holes. "Okay, hurry the hell up… I can't hold the pipe up forever."

"I thought your new arm was supposed to make this easier." Tali called out as she drilled the screw through the bolt Juel was holding.

"It's _still_ connected to a regular fleshy socket. I can _still_ get tired."

"So this is what it's like?" John asked, "Day in and day out? Replacing pipes with new ones?"

Tali shrugged as she searched for a new drill bit. "…And guessing where you put your tools. So yeah. That's about it."

"Tali's lying." Juel remarked pointedly, "It's a lot more complicated than she would care to admit. The other half is praying the equipment forum doesn't crash when you're downloading something from the compartment cloud."

Tali groaned. "Ugh. You can't _imagine_ how many times the Neema loses the Flotilla's intranet connection. And it _always_ seems to be when you're downloading a diagram for making something." Tali finally found the right drill bit and started screwing the bolts in again.

"That sucks…" John said.

Tali nodded. "It'd be easier just to have the whole list locally… but you're talking about having millions of parts on your omni-tool." Tali pat Juel on the shoulder to tell him she was done.

"It's just not worth it." Juel finished for her.

"Why not just use the extranet then if the Neema's intranet sucks?" John mused.

"Because the Flotilla's forums have information extranet websites lack. Mainly hands-on quarian input." Tali answered.

Juel watched the pipe's PSI dial return to normal.

"All that work just to replace one little sensor…" John shook his head.

"Yup." Juel croaked, "Looks like we fixed it. O-rings are on right and the seal is checking out."

"What's next then?"

"Mundane maintenance checks until we get another call to get something else replaced or fixed." Tali supplied.

"Tell me your worst maintenance nightmare." John asked.

Tali gave John this 'are you serious?' look.

Juel piped up.

"Well, besides cutting my arm in the septic tank and losing it, I'd have to say it was when Tali and I had to take a trip outside the Neema to get the intranet antennae fixed."

"Worst. _Ever_." Tali quipped with a grunt, "This idiot almost lost the panel to keep the thing in place."

"Yeah." Juel laughed, "I had to tie a rope to Tali's ankle and have her get it back."

John stood shocked. "You don't have EVAs for that?"

"Ordinarily, yes." Tali said while rolling her eyes, "But in order to fix the EVA suit problem, we had to fix the antennae to download the right part first."

"And there's no… contingency for this? Don't you guys have a second intranet antennae? Or someone to lend an EVA suit from another ship?"

"That _was_ the second one and no, we couldn't borrow one."

"Why didn't you guys just have the piece needed on hand for it?" John asked disbelievingly, "That makes no sense."

"John? Look. Sometimes it happens. We're used to dumb things like that all the time." Tali explained.

Somehow, Tali realized that convincing John that 'this_ was just how the way things were' _wasn't going to fly with him.

As he would say, 'shit happens'.

And shit happened a lot on the Neema.

_Dumb_ shit.

And they were used to it.

"An endless self-perpetuating circle." John murmured with a small frown, "That's bad guys."

"Yup. But we deal." Juel shrugged, "But it's not like we've got a choice in the matter."

"Maybe." John said, nonplussed, "It just worries me that Tali's life was in the balance with only a rope tied to her _foot_. That's all."

"Hey. It was a good ass knot." Juel retorted.

John and Tali groaned.


	47. It'll be Time

A/N

**I've got another little questionnaire up. Please answer it after you're done reading. Enjoy! **

* * *

><p><strong><em><span>One Week Later...<span>_**

**|Chapter 20|**

**|Present Time|**

**|DATE: 2-06-2185|**

* * *

><p>John woke up on their bed and took in one shallow breath of air.<p>

He'd have taken a larger breath, but their bed was _absurdly_ small.

So small in fact, that even the slightest shift would be enough to unintentionally wake your partner up. (Largely in part of the box springs that their bed was made up of.)

Had they lay on the bed shoulder to shoulder, John's arm and leg would have hung limply over the edge.

Fortunately enough, they both preferred sleeping on their sides rather then on their backs.

It was an interesting challenge of trial and error, but Tali hadn't minded sharing at all; in spite of John's polite insisting that he just sleep on the floor.

Seeing as how he hadn't woken Tali up yet just by blinking, he turned his head slowly to her and listened to her soft snores.

They were therapeutic in an odd way, hearing them.

And behind the mauve tint that separated her from the world, was a face John could hardly see.

But, if he'd concentrate enough and look past the glass, he could make out the faintest of details.

Her frail and dainty nose is what stood out the most, obviously. Then it was her closed eyes and thin eyebrows... and the faysakt that crossed her forehead.

She was pretty damned good looking. A model, by galactic standard. Beautiful, if nothing else.

And here he was, spending time with the love of his life on a quarian vessel smack dab in the middle of the flotilla.

They always did say the perfect couples always came from long friendships formed through fire, trial, and hardship.

He couldn't exactly find a fault in that.

Back on the old Normandy, they were fighting against Saren and the geth for an _entire_ year. And during that entire year, there wouldn't be a day where they'd see each other and work together with small talk to pass the time (Much like the ones they would have now).

It wasn't anything special at first, since he'd grown to know everyone aboard the ship by a first name basis.

But eventually Tali, to him, began to stand out from the rest.

And it took them until the very end of it all to finally admit what'd been brewing inside their hearts.

It was dramatic, yes, but it's the way it happened. He died and because of that, left her as a result.

John wasn't a man who could say he hadn't had a single regret.

He had _plenty_ of them.

And one of them definitely was dying.

He should have just listened to Tali those two years ago and just stayed out of that goddamn elevator.

But he couldn't change that. And he was in **_no _**position to complain. So he smiled and felt happy with where he was at.

He yawned as quietly as he could and leveled his stare against the ceiling.

This past week, for the most part of his stay on the Neema, was uneventful.

A pipe to replace there, a circuit to fix here. Some water to mop up on a deck above or an oil leak to patch up down below.

Basic stuff.

Any other man of his stature would have been insulted to have their itinerary filled with that many basic housekeeping chores.

But John relished it all.

Because everyday, Tali there was by him to share a joke or two and talk about things whenever he wanted.

And everyday, after morning work was done, they'd join Enyah, Olasie, and Juel for lunch before heading back off to do whatever it was they were busy doing.

And everyday, when their work was done, they'd retire to their room and talk to each other late into the night about frivolous things that would make them smile and laugh.

But tomorrow was the day they leave for Haestrom.

After that...

He didn't exactly know what was going to happen.

Would he come back and live on the Neema? Or would he be on the new Normandy to take the fight against the Collectors?

The answer seemed pretty clear to him.

But Tali was still on the fence.

One of the biggest reasons was because they'd be flying under a Cerberus banner (Which was also a reason for why he didn't want to do it either).

That and she had a responsibility here on the Neema.

And because of that, John hadn't brought it up any more than he needed to. They had a good thing going here, living like this.

No need to ruin it by reminding her of that.

John was so entranced with his thoughts, he hadn't noticed Tali wake up.

"Hey." Tali croaked as she turned to face him.

"Good morning hun." He replied without missing a beat. He brought her in close, both of them still under the covers, and nuzzled. She hummed at his embrace.

"Still getting used to you, John." She said before wrapping an arm over his chest.

"Me too." He cooed.

He would have kissed her cheek, but both their helmets would have gotten in the way.

Tali stretched and yawned before turning on her omni-tool and holding it above them both. "Let's see what we've got lined up for us today."

When she accessed her main screen, she frowned and stifled a yawn. "Why do I have eighteen text messages from Olasie?"

"She okay?" John asked worriedly.

"They're all pictures of... cats." Tali said with a confused mumble. She scrolled across the dozen or so pictures of feline creatures and rolled her eyes.  
>"Hi, Tali!" Tali read aloud from Olasie's text, "You cannot BELIEVE how adorable these things are! They're soooo cute! And they're from earth! Can you believe there's a whole fanbase dedicated to these little guys? Juel and I watched a bunch of videos of them last night! I just joined! and you should too!"<p>

Tali shook her head and brought the schedule up to look over. "Well. That's Olasie. She's kinda of a ditz sometimes for cute things."

Shepard chuckled. "I can imagine. What's the time?" He asked.

"Time for us to get some coffee." She said as he pat his chest softly before trying to get off the bed.

"Hold on a sec." He grumbled with a tight smile, "I need a little dose of Tali right now."

He grabbed for her arm and forced her to straddle him. She giggled and kissed their visors together.

"I love you, John. A lot."

"Love you too, hun." John said as he pat her back, "Wouldn't mind kissing you right now."

She traced a finger over his helmet and stared him straight in the eye.

"Take off your helmet real quick." Tali whispered.

Against his better judgement, he didn't argue and took off the helmet.

He felt the cool rush of air on his face and watched Tali do the same with her visor.

Seeing her naked face would never get old.

Ever.

"I love you." She said again.

Hearing her naked voice never got old either.

Their lips met softly and she kissed him with as much passion as she could fit inside of a second.

John gazed into her soft set of eyes and grinned. "I love you too."

And before he knew it, she dawned the visor again while he re-clamped the seals on his helmet.

She finally got up off him and stepped up to her desk to retrieve her boots. "We've got quite the day ahead of us."

"Yeah?" John said, sitting up himself before putting his feet on the floor to get his own shoes, "What's special about today?"

"You'll see." She answered before latching the finally lock on her boot, "Now hurry up."

"I'll see?" He asked with a puzzled look, "What does that mean?"

"It means: You'll _see_." She winked.

"Uh huh." He pulled the curtain aside and they step outside.

They seemed to be right on time because Enyah was stepping down her spiral staircase.

"Hey." Enyah greeted groggily.

"Hi Enhyah." Tali said with a smile, "Sleep well?"

"Yes ma'am." Enyah said as she stretched and yawned.

"Want to walk with us?" Tali invited with a wave.

"Yes ma'am." She repeated.

"It's the big day." Tali reminded her.

Enyah perked up. "Already?"

"Yup."

John glanced between them to find any hint as to what they were discussing. "What are you guys _talking_ about?"

"You'll see." Tali insisted, "We just need to meet up with Juel."

"Does he have everything ready?" Enyah said by cupping her voice emulator to distress John even more.

"Yes." Tali whispered back teasingly.

"What about Olasie? Is she ready?"

"Yup."

John crossed his arms. "What is this."

"Stop fussing, John. You'll find out." Tali assured him, "You'll see in a few minutes."

They carried on in silence and crossed a few hallways to a sealed off room. When the three stopped by the door, John's first impression was that they were just screwing around with him.

But Juel and Olasie opened the door.

"He here?" Juel intoned quietly.

Tali pointed with her head to John standing behind her.

"Good. Come on in."

Tali, Enyah, and John enter the room.

"What..." John took a look at the table and the single tablet sitting upon it, "...is going on?"

"John." Tali turned around to face him, "You're being accepted as a crew member of the Neema."

John blinked in surprise.

Well.

He certainly hadn't expected that to happen.

"What? _Really_? I've only been here a week though."

"True…" Juel said, "But considering that you're the reason the entire galaxy is standing… We'll take that as your pilgrimage gift. It'll look good on the paperwork."

"That, and my dad pushed for you to get you initiated." Tali admitted, "So, yeah."

Olasie laughed while Enyah shrugged.

"So… that means my name is, what, John'Shepard vas Neema nar Normandy?" (John would have said Demeter, but the Normandy had a much more special place in his heart)

"Actually, yeah. That's exactly what it is." Tali said. She handed him the tablet to sign himself into the roster.

When John finished signing his name in, he put the tablet back down and stood triumphantly. "That's it? No ceremony? No giant meeting with the captain?"

"Nope. I asked the captain to keep it informal. Because I know you'd prefer it that way." Tali said with a smile.

"Congratulations, Shepard." Juel motioned with a nod. Tali, Enyah, and Olasie all smile in unison. "You're a fellow crewmate."

"Nothing else? No hazing or some group prank to push on me?"

"Nothing else." Tali said with a bright and bashful smile, "We get on with our day."

"God, you made it out to be like you were doing something _crazy_." John said as he crossed his arms, "All that hype..."

"I know." Tali put a hand on his shoulder, "We knew it'd give you anxiety."

He scoffed and shook his head before smiling under his set of blushing cheeks. "Of course you knew."

They all walk out to the hallway.

"You get my texts, Tali?" Olasie asked.

"Yes." Tali rolled her eyes, "All eighteen of them."

"Tell me they aren't amazing."

"She sent it to me too." Enyah piped up, "I think they look disgusting."

"Disgusting?" Juel pointed straight at her disbelievingly,"Olasie and I watched videos of them all night. Their little meows make my heart melt."

Both Juel and Olasie share a laugh.

"Whatever." Enyah mumbled, "I've got to get to work. See you guys at lunch."

"Same here." Olasie said as she crossed into another hallway, "Bye you guys."

John, Tali, and Juel wave their good-byes.

"So..." Juel began as he put his hands on his hips, "Ready for tomorrow?"

"Are we ever ready?" Tali retorted as they walk down to do their daily regimen.

"Is that a philosophical question?"

"Pretty sure it is Juel." John answered sarcastically.

"Wow. I'm suddenly compelled to leave you guys." Juel grumbled as he turned down the next hallway.

"Where's you going?" John asked.

"Nowhere." Tali answered for Juel while laughing, "Bye Juel!" She shouted out to him as he disappeared into the crowd.

John put a hand on her shoulder and shook it. This past week had been damn near the best in his life.

The people... the culture...

They had little.

But they counted their blessings here.

And it showed in everyone's character.

And now he was considered crew.

An official member of the migrant fleet.

It felt like he... belonged.

"I love this place." He said with a happy sigh.

"And why's that?" She asked as they start walking again.

"Never been somewhere so happy."

Tali thought about what he said for a second and nodded. "I guess you're right... Everyone here is happy. As much as we complain, we don't know any different."

John's smile wanes before giving her a sideways glance. "You sound like you're just realizing that now."

Tali shrugged. "I kind of am. For a long time... all I would think about was you. And I took the people I knew in my life for granted because of it. I was probably a real drag to be around... but all these people stuck with me through it all."

"Because they cared about you." John said, "All of them. Juel, Olasie, and Enyah."

"I know. I should probably wrap them a gift basket or something as a thank you." Tali suggested with a small smile.

"That's really not a half bad idea." John nodded as they both step into an elevator to go down to engineering, "I hear everyone here loves turian chocolate."

"You heard right." Tali remarked pointedly, "That stuff goes by quick... and it isn't cheap. If you buy it... the shipping will always cost more than the chocolate itself."

John frowned. "Wow... and how often did you buy food outside of the fleet?"

Tali tapped her chin to think. "Well... I did it maybe... like, once a week?"

"Really?"

"Mhmm."

"Well of course you could!" John suddenly remembered, "You got paid on the Normandy... and I gave you a _huge_ bundle of cash."

"Yeah..." Tali, for some weird reason, suddenly felt ashamed, "You made me a millionaire."

"Tali... I made everyone a millionaire. You act like spending the money I gave you on chocolate was a bad thing or something."

"I should've spent it on better things. I just couldn't help myself I guess."

John shook his head and sighed. "You are just... incredible sometimes Tali. It's a wonder how you eat without giving away your food first."

Tali slapped his shoulder playfully as they entered the engineering bay.

"Oh stop."

"I know it's not really something you say out loud here since it's frowned upon... but being selfish sometimes _isn't_ a bad thing."

"I know, I know," Tali agreed as they step up to their usual spot to work, "You've taught me that. If it makes you feel any better, I'm probably the most damn selfish quarian on the _ship_... save maybe those two rats, Chilo and Siv."

John ignored the mention of the two little quarian girls, "And what makes you think that?"

"Because, I'm the only one here who would prefer something expensive and classy... and _not_ complain about how '_wasteful_' the luxury is."

"Oh..." John said in a tone that didn't at all hide his silky voice, "So you enjoyed the Mara Horizon, huh?"

"I'd go there a _million_ times if I could, yes." Tali said quietly with a smirk, "...And repeat what we did a _million_ times too."

"Smooth, Tali. Damn smooth." He said through a toothy smile.

"I know. I mean... I can still be frugal, John. It's not hard and it doesn't bother me at all, you know? Living life like this makes me happy still, either way."

"Same here." John nodded, "Living like this doesn't bother me at all."

"See? It's just that... after going to Illium and spending a day in the fanciest hotel in the galaxy... I just, you know, had a change of heart. And kinda prefer the finer things in life now."

"Nothing's wrong with that, hun." John said with a smile, "We'll put it on our agenda okay? We'll plan another vacation there sometime."

Tali beamed at him. "Count me in."

* * *

><p><strong>A Day Later...<strong>

John was smiling.

It felt good to be in a company of other soldiers again.

They were different in a lot of ways, definitely.

The chain of command and ranking system here could hardly even compare to the Alliance. But there was still familiarity, quarian marines or not.

He strapped himself down next to Tali and gave her a look before seeing Olasie sit down next to him with Juel next to her.

Thinking of something to start a conversation, John turned to Olasie.

"Ever been in geth space before, Olasie?" He asked.

"This'll be my second time. So yes." She replied as she sat down.

"How many of you guys have fought geth?"

"Most of us." Olasie replied with a smile. She handed him a shoulder pauldron from her pack and pointed to the lines she had etched into it. "Our platoon keeps a count of all our kills."

"Eighteen." John counted, "Impressive."

"Yeah..." Olasie said embarrassingly before putting the pauldron back, "Tali's body count is in the hundreds though. I can't imagine what yours is."

Tali nodded. "Yeah... He's killed a lot of geth." Tali said curtly while she skimmed through her omni-tool, "Maybe... what, somewhere around two hundred fifty?"

"Something like that." John replied while smiling at Tali again. Prazza and Kal both passed their row of seats and nodded to the four of them.

"Feel good to be back in your old armor?" Juel asked as he started eating out of a meal tube.

"Yeah. definitely." Shepard looked around and leaned in so he couldn't be heard by any of the other soldiers. "Question. Do security teams clean this ship when we come back? Is it considered unclean?"

"Yup." Juel and Olasie answered at the same time. Tali nodded.

"So, I can take my helmet off for now?"

Juel and Olasie shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess. It shouldn't be a big deal." Juel answered.

"Good." John took off his helmet, set it aside, and closed his eyes before leaning his head back. The cabin quieted down and when John reopened his eyes, he realized half of everyone in the cabin (All from Kal's platoon (Because Prazza team had already seen his face)) was staring at him.

John frowned.

"…What…?"

"Damn." One of the marines closest to him said, "They really _do_ look just like us."

Some quarians laugh.

"Bit meatier though if you haven't noticed." Another said.

"…I don't mind that." A female said from somewhere in the seated crowd.

They all laughed and John's cheeks flushed into a heavy shade of red.

The sultry tone that quarian woman used certainly set the stage for feeling humiliated.

Honestly, John didn't think it capable to feel as embarrassed as he did now for _actually_ showing his face.

Even as red as he got, his pride still wouldn't let him put the thing back on.

The ship's PA squawked. "Attention. Attention. We're set for final departure. Get your stuffed stowed and make sure you strap in."

When John looked at Tali with his red cheeks, she pat his shoulder and shrugged. "They're just excited to see a change of pace for once." She reassured, "Don't worry about it."

"Yeah... okay." He cast a long glance at the woman who'd called him out on his 'meatier' build and saw she was still staring at him.

It didn't make him uncomfortable, per se. But the innuendo the woman had made could only bring John to the conclusion that she was either admiring the view or staring out of curiosity.

Probably both, if it were his guess.

"Wish we had the Normandy for this." John decided to say before looking at Tali.

"Certainly would minimize the risks, wouldn't it?" Tali observed with a sigh, "I miss her."

"Me too."

"Think the new one can compare?" Tali asked. In the background, the ship's PA announced the blast doors closing behind them.

"We'll have to ask Garrus."

"It's worth a shot." Tali agreed, "How much he'll be allowed to give us isn't going to leave me with much to imagine."

"It's something."

"Everyone hush up!" Kal announced, standing up from his chair with Prazza.

Everyone, including Tali and John, stared at Kal.

"We're all aware that the _-oh so famous-_ Commander John Shepard of the Normandy will be joining us." Kal began, "And it's my job, and his, to offer a formal introduction to our company!" Kal turned and waved with a hand for John to stand. "Stand up sir, we owe you an ovation!"

John did as he was instructed and stood up so the company could cheer.

"Why the applause, sergeant?"

"You're the biggest enemy the geth's ever had the pleasure of fighting, sir. It's an honor to have you here."

"Well, if that's the case, I'd like to have Tali stand up with me." John turned to Tali and urged her up.

"I don't want to sound so cliché, but the honor's mine. Tali kicked some ass on the Normandy, and I can't help but think with a whole company of like-minded people, we might as well saddle up and go straight to Rannoch."

"It's on our list, Commander." Kal laughed, "So there you have it. John Shepard Vas Normandy in the flesh. You can go ahead and take a seat, sir."

When Tali and John sat back down, Olasie nodded to him with a smile.

"Smooth, Shepard." She quipped.

"Thanks." John replied with a smirk, "I try."

* * *

><p>Joker hobbled down the hallway, passed a few Cerberus technicians busying themselves over a data pad, and entered docking bay one. With a Styrofoam cup of orange sorbet in hand and a spoon in the other, he went right up to the Normandy, or as close as the fence line would allow, and watched Garrus hang over the Normandy's port-side buffing out the Cerberus Logo on her hull.<p>

"Looks like a vagina." Joker said as a way to greet himself.

Garrus, with a bewildered look on his face, looked back and saw Joker waiving to him. Against his better judgement, Garrus decided _not_ to give Joker the satisfaction of giving in to his poor sex joke.

"Joker. Hey."

"How's it coming along?"

"Nothing a little time and effort can't fix." Garrus answered quickly with a shrill sigh. He pat the powdered metal fragments that'd been collecting on his gloves before setting himself back to work on removing the logo.

"Awfully nice of Cerberus for letting you do this." Joker remarked. He ate another spoonful of cold sorbet before pointing the spoon at the two wings Garrus had removed from either side of the logo.

"See? Vagina."

"I'm not seeing it." Garrus shrugged indifferently.

"Of course not. Maybe it's cause you're turian." Jeff frowned suddenly, "I don't even want to know what a turian one looks like."

Garrus stopped sanding. "Joker. If you want to be useful, get me some water, rather than spouting about something you'll never get."

Joker, unfazed by the insult, ignored the comeback.

"That Sidoner guy should help you."

"It's _Sidon**is**_." Came a bi-toned voice from behind Joker, "And I am."

Joker took a side step to let the turian hoist himself over the fence to Join Garrus.

"Okay, why not everyone from your team? They could be working on the starboard side."

"Do you realize where we are?" Garrus asked while waiving the sander around, " Were on a _Cerberus_ station. The less aliens on Cerberus' decks, whose agenda is for _promoting_ the human cause above everyone else, the better."

"Right." Joker nodded and set away eating the rest of his sorbet, "Any news on John and Tali?"

"No." Garrus replied immediately. Sidonis handed him a new scrubbing mat for the sander and started again. "They had a mission to attend to first. It's still up in the air if they're joining."

Joker caught the disappointing lilt in Garrus' voice. But Jeff wasn't worried about it.

"Shepard will come around. Like he always has."

Garrus shrugged. "Maybe."

"What? You think Tali's persuading him not to?"

Garrus was quiet for a lengthy moment. "You could think that."

"We both know Tali. She's not like that." Joker argued, "Cerberus or not, she gets the bigger picture."

"We'll see." Garrus said in an unconvinced tone.

"We'll _see_? The hell is that supposed to mean? Garrus. We _know_ her."

"She found out." Garrus admitted without ever looking at the human.

Joker's eyes lit up. "Oh... _Shit_. She knows Liara and you have been keeping John from her."

Garrus didn't say anything.

The human turned around, leaned on the railing, and looked at his sorbet disappointingly. "Holy fuck that's bad."

"She's more pissed at Liara than me." The turian added unwillingly, as if he was shifting the blame on the asari, "But that doesn't exactly excuse myself either."

"Damn straight it doesn't. Sure, you might've been smoothing things along had John not come back... but you should've told her anyways."

"You tell that to Liara." Garrus countered with a growl. He pressed the sander against the Normandy's plating harder than necessary. "Liara wasn't willing to look at alternatives. So I kept my mouth shut because she made me promise."

"Look where that got you." Joker said.

"I _didn't_ have a choice."

"Hell yes you did." Joker turned back around to face Garrus' back, "Whose trust would you rather betray? Liara's? Or _Tali's_?"

Garrus finally worked out about a tenth of the hexagonal shape that made up the center of the cerberus logo, "_Neither_, would be my answer."

"Neither." Joker repeated, "You didn't pick 'neither'."

Garrus raised the plexi face shield from his face and turned off his sander before pointing at the insinuating little shit of a pilot with his stupid cream of ice thing and human lipped frown.

What in spirits did Joker know about the decisions he'd made over the past two years?

One thing Jeff should've known by now was what levels of Garrus' tolerance were set at.

Talking to Jeff about his allegiance to John and his trustworthiness to Tali and Liara were _definitely_ not one of them.

While Garrus did regret the decisions he'd made about keeping the Lazarus Project away from Tali, he understood why they were made.

But it was too late now. And there was absolutely no point in reflecting on it all.

This conversation was absolutely aimless.

"Where are you getting at with this, Joker?"

"Making sure you're still you, Garrus." Joker said with a sigh, "The pole between your ass still seems to be there, and it's only fair I remind you."

Garrus stared with his beady eyes for a long moment before snapping the plexi shield back around his face.

"Duly noted."

"So what do you think she'll do to you when she gets within arm length?"

"Nothing but a friendly hug to make up for lost time. Wrap up some turian chocolate to give her if she'll let me. With luck, it'll reconcile my mistake of not telling her John was coming back."

"That's it? That'll make up for it?"

"Hopefully. If anything, spending time with Shepard will have cheered her up."

"Oh, I'm _sure_ John's cheered her "_up_". _If you catch my drift_." Joker said with a wide grin, "You _did_ tell me they booked a one night stay on one of Mara Horizon's mansions on _Illium, _of all places. Shit like that doesn't get any more romantic, Garrus. Everyone in the _galaxy_ knows that place."

"_Liara_ told me that they booked a night there." Garrus hurried to say embarrassingly.

"Whoah, I ain't saying it's creepy to know. GaLACTIC PeOPLE magazine has their front cover showing a picture of the two stepping out of their air car there. Headline news declaring SHEPARD ALIVE? OR HOAX?"

"I'm still not drawing any rash assumptions." Garrus huffed.

"I am. She was probably wined, dined, and fu—"

"Mr. Moreau." Miranda called out with a tablet in her hands.

"Yeah?" Joker turned around and faced the woman who stood at the end of the aerobridge connected to the Normandy's door. "What can I do you for, ma'am?"

"EDI sent me the trial runs for the amplifiers you requested be modded for less lift attenuation. Care to share them with me now?"

"Ah! I would. Glad you came." Joker said smugly before hobbling toward her, "Take care Garrus. You too Sidoner."

"Sido_N**IS**."_ The other turian corrected with a grumble before the two turians were left to their devices.

"How long until Mr. Vakarian finishes his modification?" Miranda asked as they walked down the aerobridge to the Normandy's antimicrobial suite.

"Two to three hours. He's still has the starboard side to work on. Why? We in a hurry?"

"Yes." Miranda replied as the anti-septic jets began spraying them down.

"What's going on?"

"We've just been notified Shepard has transited out of the Migrant fleet and is moving toward the Insabar relay."

When the doors opened, Miranda stepped out and realized Joker wasn't following suit. She turned her head slightly to see his deadpanned look.

"You put a _tracker_ on him?" Joker said disbelievingly.

"On his suit. Yes."

Joker walked past her and couldn't stop shaking his head.

"You know, I've been meaning to say this, but I can't say I blame him for ditching you the way he did." He murmured.

"It was necessary." Miranda replied simply.

"Apparently so. He left you guys hanging back on Freedom's progress because he couldn't trust you. So there's _that_."

Miranda, with her hands clasped neatly behind her back, leveled her cold glare against the lieutenant's.

It was intimidating enough to shut him up for a moment.

"Mr. Moreau. I don't take kindly to your brazen and foul attitude." She informed with a flat monotone, "Do _not_ let it continue."

Joker let out one grizzly sounding laugh.

"What. Gonna replace me? Put me in a cell? Put a _bullet_ in my head?" He shook his head and the brim of his hat severed Miranda's stare before he decided on sitting in his chair.

He didn't give her a chance to reply.

"What do you want to do about Shepard?" Joker asked.

Miranda took one silent breath and answered him. "We need him here. On the Normandy."

"Okay. You said he left the migrant fleet. Big deal. How do we know we've even got a window of opportunity to do this? Will he even be willing?"

"We have our window. They're heading for Haestrom. His willingness remains to be seen."

"I don't even know where that is." Joker said before looking up the planet quickly.

Miranda stood quietly next to him and glanced at EDI's avatar.

Joker frowned as he read. "That's their mission isn't it?" The pilot said before turning off his omni-tool, "Their mission's in geth space?"

Joker's face suddenly went blank.

Miranda couldn't have known that just by the tracker alone. She said John left the Migrant fleet just _now_. And heading toward one relay didn't mean anything.

"...How the hell do you know they're going to Haestrom." He said in a way that didn't sound at all like a question, "The Insabar relay is three jumps out from there?"

"We have a tracker on his suit." Miranda repeated.

Joker could tell she was deflecting.

"Yeah." he said with a hard pressed frown, "But it doesn't offer you his goddamn _destination_. He's tapped isn't he? You _tapped_ him too."

* * *

><p>AN:

Okay! Some questions for anyone willing to answer! (Please answer them.)

1.) What do you think of John actually ditching Cerberus on Freedom's Progress and leaving with Tali? Did you really expect that at all?

2.) Do you want John to stay on the Flotilla? or does Tali and John really need to join up with the Normandy already?

3.) I've asked this question before, but what's your opinion of Juel? Yay or nay?

4.) What would you like to see in the future? Do you see any foreshadowing at all?

And as always, please review! It means so much to see support from people.

Thank you!


	48. Jack

**A/N:**

Believe it or not, I was happily typing away on my keyboard when I spilled my half-n-half Snapple all over my desk, which, incidentally, dribbled most of its contents into my keyboard. (I know, brilliant.)

Fortunately enough, the keyboard is _still_ **fully** operational, and after spending about two weeks off and on again removing keys to clean them and lubing them up (With gun oil no less), got most of the stickiness out.

Hell, even the LED Back-lighting's still functional.

So I got that going for me at least.

Though the 'P' key, the 'L' key, the 'Back Space' key still get sticky sometimes.

lulz.

Just a little quick update.

Enjoy the appetizer.

* * *

><p>"Jack. I want to talk."<p>

"Fuck off."

Garrus raised one talon before setting it lightly against the 'CELL-BLOCK EVACUATION A' button.

"Tell me to fuck off one more time, Jack. Please. You'd really make my day."

She didn't say anything.

Satisfied with her silence, he decided to speak.

"I want you to know I'm the good guy here."

"The _good_ guy? The **good** guy."

Garrus curbed the urge to just press the evac-button after Jack's effortless sneer and eye-roll.

"Yup. I fucking buy it." She continued, "What kinda 'good guy' threatens a prisoner with sending her out an airlock?

"A _very_ _**fucking**_ pissed off one, _Jack_."

She crossed her arms and shrugged.

"You killed two of my guys back on Purgatory. Two _very_ _good_ men."

"You were trying to take me."

"YOU _struck_ first."

"I'm a crazy bitch."

"EDI. Vent the cabin pressure in cell one, please."

"Yes, Mr. Vakarian."

The room's typical white lighting turned yellow before a klaxon blared in her cell.

Jack's eyes widen slightly when she could hear a rotor prep the airlock evacuation sequence.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"The attitude better drop in the next fifteen seconds, Jack, or I watch the air get sucked freely from your lungs." He took a step back and crossed his arms, "Do you understand?"

"You're bluffing."

"Cabin pressure evacuation sequence initiated. Please vacate cells immediately."

Hissing air crept around the seals on Jack's cell door.

"Willing to bet your life on that?"

Five seconds pass.

"Stand by. Interior pressure equalizing with exterior atmosphere."

"…Okay! Okay! Fuck!"

"EDI?"

"It's done, Mr. Vakarian. Evacuation disengaged."

Garrus waited for Jack to catch her breath and stared at her darkly.

"Jesus _Christ_… dude… What the hell do you want from me?"

"An apology."

"I did what I thought I had to do. I didn't know, okay?"

Garrus dragged a stool over and sat right up to the plexi-glass and stayed quiet for a minute.

"We're going to get to know each other a little better, Jack."

"Fine. Let me put on a shirt. It got fucking cold as shit in here." She took off the leather strapping around her chest and put on a shirt.

All in front of Garrus.

"Space is cold." Garrus said tersely.

As odd as it was, she laughed. "No shit, dude… what do you want to talk about."

"I want you to know about the men you killed. So that way, you think twice before killing someone you know nothing about. To know that they had lives, and dreams, and feelings. That they might still be here right now, had you not attacked us outright after you saw the Cerberus markings on Miranda and her soldiers."

He took a deep breath and began.

"They're names were Jugath Ishvak and Amarath Sentaih. Ex-cabal and STG; Both explosive experts. They had their moments. Hot headed, both of them sometimes. But they righted more wrongs than you could possibly count. Saved more lives than I can remember. Thousands of people, maybe." Garrus lectured.

"Guess where that got them, Jack." He asked rhetorically with a crass sounding hiss, "Biotic inflicted rebar wounds. Jugath took six to the chest. Amarath took two in the lung and one in the eye socket."

Jack's silence was Garrus' invitation to continue.

"Let me set this straight for you." Garrus said factually, "Realize that I'm a non-human working on a pro-human ship. Everyone here? Save for Miranda and Jacob, do not have careers in Cerberus outside of a year. They're all here for one purpose. Would you like to know what that purpose is?"

Jack crossed her arms and sat on the floor. "Why."

"To stop the Collectors from abducting hundreds of thousands of people away from their homes."

Jack's gaze broke and she stared at the floor nonplussed. "And what. You were coming to me for my help?"

"_Exactly_!" Garrus lashed out as he thudded the plexi with a pointer, "And you killed _good_ _FUCKING_ people because we, the galaxy, needed _you_."

They stayed quiet for another minute and Jack hung her head low the entire time.

"I think it's my turn, now." Jack murmured lamely, "I don't know how much you know about me or my relationship to Cerberus... but they had a cell group way back. With some fucked up intention to enhance biotic potential in children."

"They kidnapped you." Garrus said as more of a statement then question.

"Yeah. They did." Jack took off her shirt again and traced the scars that ran the length of her sternum, neck, and back. "See this? See these scars? I was a lab rat for years. _Years_."

Garrus' mandibles pressed into a low frown.

"I wasn't the only one either. Hundreds of kids. Funneled through like trash. Terrible. Fucking terrible."

Garrus understood how deep Cerberus' went to keeping their book of principle and morality conspicuously absent.

But children?

To Garrus, TIM probably spent all of about a minute writing up a manifesto for Cerberus.

"_The means were justified if the ends were met with satisfactory results." _

Probably framed the thing or put it on a plaque to look at. You know, to make him and everyone else sleep better at night for all the shit they'd tuck under their belts at the end of the day.

"What happened to the place?"

"I got out. Killed anyone that got in my way. Don't know what happened after that."

"And you've been on your own since." Garrus assumed.

"Yeah. So you can understand how bottomless my hate goes for Cerberus, Vakarian." She murmured, "Falls to fucking infinity. I acted on impulse from experience."

"While I understand your intention, Jack, it isn't an excuse for _killing_ people."

She got up and went right up to the plexi before pointing at him. "Fuck. you."

"EDI," Garrus said while watching Jack flinch slightly, "please access log six, index one, Purgatory file. First person perspective, please."

"Yes, Mr. Vakarian. To whom should I play it to?"

"Subject Zero."

Just as Garrus ordered, a screen in her cell turned on for Jack to watch.

"This from your view?" Jack asked as she watched.

"Yes." Garrus answered.

Jack watched Garrus load his bean bag rounds, prep his tazer, and pepper spray, while the others in his group did the same.

On the other side of the locked door, they could hear the muffled sounds of some Blue Sun guards getting ripped apart (Quite literally) by their objective.

"She's right through the other door." Miranda said, "Steadfast. ROE's changed now. Less than Lethal rounds only. Pacify the target if necessary. Understood?"

A small chorus of 'yes ma'ams' sounded.

"Open the door."

The door opened and they walked through carefully with their guns raised to scan the room.

Other than the sound of their foot-steps scuffling across the grated floor, was Jack's labored breathing with her back facing them.

"Jack?" Garrus called out as carefully as he could, "We're not here to hurt you."

The topless woman turned around and saw the Cerberus markings on Miranda's uniform and another from the lapel on a Cerberus soldier.

Suddenly, her biotics glowed vibrantly while her sneering frown turned into gnashing teeth.

"Jack! Please, listen! We're aware of your connection to Cerber—"

She charged and the vid she was watching froze.

"Freeze it there EDI. Now play at half the speed. Right after twenty five point three."

"Yes Mr. Vakarian."

"Right there, Jack." Garrus pointed as Jack continued watching, "See that?"

Jack saw the nine or so rebar's she'd thrown with her biotics at the salarian and batarian. All of them hit home, both of them dead before they even hit the floor.

Ordinarily, Jack felt fine killing people the way she did. Proud even.

It was a high, honestly. Warmed her right up, head to toe.

But reflecting on what happened…

_Understanding _now the good willed intentions of those she'd killed…

And watching herself do it...

She felt like hurling.

What a fucking wake up call.

The woman couldn't bring herself to say anything. So she kept silent and rubbed her eyes with her arms to keep the tears from falling.

"You were smiling, Jack." Garrus growled, "_Smiling_. Who _does_ that."

Minutes passed and the two of them said nothing.

But the gravity of the situation was dawning on the woman.

She was a fucking monster.

And it was all because of Cerberus.

"I need help." She whispered, "A lot of it."

"I don't think I can ever forgive you for what you did, Jack. But I'm willing to put it behind me if you think you can handle yourself."

She nodded. "Yeah. I can do that."

And as simple as that, Garrus opened the door to her cell and sighed. "When's the last time you've had someone to talk to like this."

"Years dude." She rasped quietly, "Thanks."

Garrus sighed. "Don't thank me. Do you know who I am, Jack?"

"Yeah. You served with Shepard on the old Normandy two years ago with some others and kicked Saren's ass."

"We also kicked Cerberus' ass along the ride. So don't disillusion yourself with some idea that I don't realize that Cerberus is bad. _Real_ bad, in your case."

"It sucks you won't have Shepard to help you guys this time…"

"Oh, he's still alive." Garrus motioned for her to step out of the cell.

"No shit. I should've expected that."

She webbed her fingers together and bit her lip, "Uh, you know… That was nice. Talking to someone for once."

"It's better than killing people, absolutely." Garrus agreed.

"I have to ask though… were you really going to throw me out the airlock?"

Garrus looked at her with a blank stare. "It was a serious consideration."

She smiled.

"I'm not joking."

She didn't seem all that affected by him telling the truth.

"Where we going?"

"Up to CIC. You can meet Miranda and tell her first hand that you'll cooperate with us." He pressed the button for the elevator and waited.

"After that?"

"We'll find you something to eat, then we'll requisition you a cot and supplies." He said before glancing at her prison jumpsuit, "...And a proper uniform."

"So you said we're after Collectors. We got a mission or somethin'?"

"Yeah, actually. We're en-route to picking up Shepard himself right now."

"Sweet."

As they step inside the lift, she turned to him and crossed her arms. "Thanks for being straight with me."

He gave her a sideways glance. "Of course."

"You guys gonna give me my amp back?"

"That's not up to me." Garrus faced her, "But the answer will be no. You're the first person here to inflict casualties to the crew. You're unstable, Jack. The crew does _not_ like you. And right now, I don't like you either."

"I guessed so."

When the elevator door opened, Miranda was already there with Jacob close by and a soldier clad in white armor to greet them.

"EDI tell you?" Garrus said as a way of greeting.

"Yes." Miranda replied before staring at Jack, "How are your injuries?"

"They're fine." Jack said, automatically disinterested in looking at the brunette.

Garrus cleared his throat to remind Jack of what she needed to say.

"Oh. Right. You have my full cooperation too, cheerleader. I ain't gonna hurt anyone on the ship. Promise."

Miranda raised an eye-brow. "If you need anything, Jack, please put in a requisition order and we'll have it delivered to you."

"Right-o."

Miranda waived Jacob and the soldier off. "Anything else?"

"Nope."

"Very well. You're dismissed." She faced the turian, "Garrus, if you could get her up to speed with everything, please?"

"You got it." He pressed the button and the elevator closed before bringing her back down to engineering.

"Everyone here, Jack, are trained and capable soldiers. _Including_ the crew." He faced her, "You try anything, pocket a shiv, or disturb the peace, there won't be any second guesses. They'll kill you. Or lock you up until we drop you off at an Alliance prison. Don't screw this up."

"You guys sound like a bunch of assholes." She quipped.

"We are when you kill our guys with rebars." Garrus said, denying her humor.

She frowned.

"How much of an introvert do you consider yourself, Jack?" Garrus asked.

"A huge one. Put me away from everyone else."

"Works for me. We'll put you down in maintenance below engineering. I'm sure Donnelly and Daniels will love that."

Jack's brows furrowed. "Who?"

"You'll know soon enough."

"So… you wanna tell me more about picking up Shepard?"

"Right. Our ETA's in an hour. He's with a bunch of quarians right now." Garrus explained.

"What the hell for?"

"If you know me, then you should remember Tali'Zorah from the vids too."

"Yeah. I do. Why's he with her?"

"It's a long story. And one I don't feel like repeating." Garrus murmured, "I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm hoping this goes through without incident."

"Heard that never happens when you run with the Normandy."

"You heard right. But I'm hoping this'll be different."

"Why would this be hard? You act like he doesn't know you're coming."

Garrus gave her the hardest look of his life.

"That's because he doesn't."

* * *

><p>The next one will be John and Tali, I swear.<p>

Please review guys.

Hoped you like the interaction between Garrus and Jack. Because it needed to be done.


	49. Two years, huh?

Sorry for the month long delay. Enjoy!

Also, I've hit fifty chapters! Yay!

Please leave a review when you're done reading. And if you'd be so polite as to tell me what you're expecting next!

* * *

><p>Radar Control Operator Ina'Mae vas Paltino stared passively at her screen while she kept an aimless conversation going with the sensor's officer, Sahti'Mel vas Paltino.<p>

"So... You see the human?" Ina asked as she looked up from her monitor.

"Nope." Sahti said with a shrug, "Why?"

"Ah. Just wondering."

"You know what? I did, actually." Sahti mollified as she pressed a few buttons on her terminal, "Right when they were boarding."

"And?"

"And what?" Sahti's brow rose, "Nothing else. I saw him. Big deal."

Ina shrugged. "I just think it's cool."

"No, I think you were checking him out."

"I was _not_."

"His legs are straight though," Sahti said as she shook her head, "and I, quite frankly, think it's weird."

"Why does everyone say that?" Ina argued, sitting back upright in her chair, "What do straight legs have anything to do with it?"

"I don't know... it's... just... weird." Sahti Shrugged.

Ina shook her head disbelievingly. "Wow Sahti. Never struck you as the shallow type."

"Shut it, Ina. You bosh'tet."

Mehl'Daykah, the astrogation officer, looked up from his computer and list of solar charts with a crooked brow. "Is there a problem you two?"

"Nothing important, Mehl." Ina said, turning her head to face the officer sitting behind them.

Mehl stared at Ina for a second longer before returning his attention to his maps.

Ina's monitor flashed and she whirled her head back around to face the offending light.

Oh. _Shit_.

Ina frantically read over the information splashing on her screen to make sure the pinging sensors weren't picking up some reflective silhouette of some passing asteroid or a radiation spike from a solar flare.

Nope.

This was the real deal.

"Captain!" Ina called out with a wide eyed and partially frantic stare, "Passive radar just pinged a slip-space rupture on our starboard side. Frigate sized vessel running on parallel course bearing grid coordinates one eight seven seven two one niner three three!"

Everyone on the bridge within ear shot of Ina turned to their captain.

Exiting out of slip-space running along a parallel course just outside of weapons range wasn't a coincidence.

That was a mathematical impossibility.

And everyone knew what that meant.

They'd been _followed_.

"Ina," Captain Leena said, "bring it up on my screens." She turned to her first officer, "Tahl, bring the _Paltino_ up to preparatory combat alert status and standby for further orders."

"Yes ma'am!"

She turned to her RCO and furrowed her brow darkly. "Is it the geth?"

"Unknown," Ina replied, "...but I wouldn't put it outside the realm of possibility."

Sahti spoke up. "Ma'am! We're being hailed!"

Everyone brows shot up in surprise.

Geth didn't hail quarians.

They engaged them.

So whoever this was wasn't geth.

A huge relief, yes, but the question remained: Who the hell was that flying by them? In geth space no less?

They were about to find out.

"Bring it through then, Sahti." Captain Leena said calmly.

The hail patched through and Leena sat up her chair to watch her screen.

"This is acting captain Miry Lawson of the Normandy SR2 of the System's Alliance 72nd Kilo task force delta-six. Genuine IFF confirmed. Stand-by for instruction, over."

_Wait. What?_

Everyone on the bridge looked amongst themselves with concerned looks on their faces.

What the hell was the System's Alliance doing here? Or better yet, why the hell were they telling _them_ what to do?

"Stand by for instruction?" Leena said disbelievingly under her breath, "This is Leena'Dohn, Captain of the _Paltino_? What instruction? Over."

Miranda was quick to reply. "Our sensors indicate you house a high priority Alliance operative gone AWOL in your care. We need him back, over."

Leena was taken aback, including everyone else under her command.

The human in their care was _still_ an Alliance operative?

"Uhm... er..." Leena stuttered completely at a loss for words, "...Acknolwedged, Normandy... Uhm... What are you recommending we do? Over."

There was a sizable pause, and for the briefest of moments, Leena swore she could hear a turian_, of all things,_ mumble something over the radio with the Normandy's acting captain.

"Is it possible for us to speak with him?" Came a bi-toned reply.

* * *

><p>Everything was fine and dandy until the Paltino's PA told the marines to get out of their seats and load their weapons for possible boarding action.<p>

Just as John filled his chest rig with thermal magazines, a quarian opened the hatch to the cargo room and went straight to John.

"_Commander_." the quarian said as evenly as possible, "You're needed at the bridge. _Now_."

Tali's head cocked to the side as she set her shotgun down.

"Why?" John asked, visibly confused, but still starting to follow the quarian, "What's wrong?"

"You'll find out shortly. Now come on!"

Tali said nothing, waived to Juel and Olasie for them to stay here, and followed John out with the other quarian.

"No, I need to find out _now_." John demanded politely as they jogged down the hallway, "What is it?"

The quarian hadn't bothered even glancing behind him to give a reply, "The Alliance is here. And they want to speak to you."

John's confused expression grew two sizes. "_What?_"

Tali hadn't seemed any more confused than him. "John?"

"We'll find out when we get there." John said with a shrug as they take another turn before entering the bridge.

"Get him up here. Let's go!" the Paltino's captain yelled, "The longer we stay on this line, our chances of discovery grow! _Move!_"

John walked right next to the captain, with Tali in tow, and saluted her. "Reporting as requested, captain."

Captain Leena quickly returned the salute and stepped out of her chair. "Go ahead and sit, Commander. The _Normandy _wants to, ah, speak with you."

John gave the captain a deadpanned look, glanced at Tali for a second, and sat down in the chair.

"Uhm..." John could hardly talk through his frown, "This is Commander Shepard. Go ahead."

"Shepard!" Garrus greeted easily, "Nice to hear from you. How you feeling?"

"Christ, Garrus." Shepard's shoulders sagged slightly, "You really know how to make me worry."

Garrus managed to chuckle slightly before getting straight to the point.

"Don't know if you're already aware, but we're flying right beside you. Obviously."

"I'm aware." John replied, "But... what the hell are you guys doing here?"

"Looking for you. Took us a while. And the brass start asking questions when the quarterlies stop coming in from our _captain_." Garrus managed to say with an even looking stare.

Captain Leena cocked her head to the side to stare at the human.

Commander Shepard was a _captain too_?

"Don't tell me you guys said I was AWOL." John played along when he realized several pairs of quarian eyes were staring at him.

"We might've let that slipped." Garrus admitted, staring off screen for a second, "Nah, I'm just joking. But seriously. We need to pick you up."

"Pick us _up_?" Tali butted in and forced her tone a little louder than necessary, interrupting John's chance to reply.

Tali, clearly, wasn't impressed with the turian's timing.

Nor was she impressed that the Normandy, a **_Cerberus_ **vessel, **_NOT_** an Alliance one, was flying next to them.

That was a smoking heat sink just _waiting_ to get dropped into a tank of fuel.

"Garrus. We're on a _mission_." Tali said as she buried her wave of anger with a deep breath.

"Ah. Tali. Nice to hear from you!" Garrus said without a hint of disappointment in his voice, "Don't suppose we can make a trade?"

Tali crossed her arms and moved in next to Shepard to see Garrus on the monitor. "There isn't a deal out there that'll change my mind."

"Hmph. That's a problem."

"Uhm. Hate to intervene...? But I'd like to be made aware of what's going on?" Captain Leena said, leaning in too to see the monitor and the turian behind it.

Garrus looked at Captain Leena. "Our captain seems to be working with you. And it looks like you could use our help." Garrus said. There was a squabble behind the turian (no doubt from Miranda voicing her dissent) and he waived it off. "Would you care for some help?"

"No. We're quite capable, thank you." The captain replied as respectfully as possible. As well-mannered as her answer was, Leena wasn't exactly comfortable with the idea of a human/turian jointed military vessel interfering with sensitive quarian affairs.

Even _if_ the ship belonged to man sitting in her chair.

It wasn't exactly a secret the quarians would prod around geth space... but it wasn't exactly common knowledge among the galactic community either. Nor was it ever deemed significant enough for any governing body from council races to investigate any further than necessary.

And besides, who was she, the captain of some small frigate, to decide such a matter? Decisions like that were left up to a body of admirals to decide. Not her.

Though, on the other hand, Shepard had sat down like all the others in the briefing. He knew of every detail and phase of their operation. And if the admirals trusted him enough, would that mean, by extension, they could also place trust into the Commander's team?

Optimistically speaking, yes. Military diplomacy between two 'nations' (The term was used loosely) or more accurately, between two races, or in this case, _three_ races, was always a good thing. Having allies could make the difference between life and death.

An extra soldier to keep your backside company never hurt.

But, realistically speaking, Captain Leena faced a possibility of being reprimanded for accepting help from an outside source because she hadn't asked the higher ups first.

Everything was a gamble.

When Leena faced the purple suited one next Shepard, she knew the Tali girl had been thinking through the same thing.

"It's not our decision." Tali said to Garrus.

"Whose is it?" The turian asked.

"Admiral Gerrel's, really." She answered with a tight lipped frown.

"Then ring him _up_ and _ask_."

John stood up from the chair and offered it back to the Paltino's captain. "Ma'am," John began, "Using a broad band signal to connect to the Flotilla would be ill-advised. Given the nature of our mission and parameters you're limited to, It's best if we make the decision ourselves here and now as the situation dictates."

Leena sat down and thought over it all before looking to Tali and John. "And what would you recommend, _Captain_ Shepard? It is, after all, your ship."

"Let them help you." John answered flatly, "They'll be invaluable."

Tali immediately disagreed.

But now wasn't really the time to voice an opinion that was going to dispute the issue.

John knew what he was doing. Which meant she would trust his decision.

Leena took a deep breath. "Two frigates flying in tandem doubles our risk of discovery."

"Negative, Captain." Garrus advised, "Normandy's outfitted with an IES and onboard cyber suite. She's invisible to anything save a window. Stay close enough behind us and you can share some of it."

"Well. That would explain why my radar station didn't seem to be _working_." Ina the radar operator chimed in with a mumble.

"That sounds rather difficult to pass up… Very well." Captain Leena said with a blank stare and sigh, "Standby for parade formation; Transmitting to your VI. Invitation sent."

"Acknowledged, Paltino," Garrus replied, "We're receiving invitation, locking in to transit grid eight seven seven two five six eight two one. Stand-by for recourse."

"Good to have you with us."

"I'd also like to request permission to see the Commander by use of shuttle, if at all possible, Captain." Garrus asked.

Leena rubbed her thumb and forefinger together. "...Permission granted. You'll be forwarded to my ATO for preparation of transfer. Stand-by." Leena said before cutting the channel and telling her ATO to get it situated.

John closed his eyes and squeezed the bridge of his nose to ingest what'd just happened.

The SR2 was here.

Which meant _Cerberus_ was here.

John couldn't really shake the inkling feeling that the story he was forced into selling now would start falling apart _pretty_ fast for anyone with an excessive sense of curiosity.

It wouldn't even be _hard_.

Stick a couple needles in it, and soon enough, the plot holes would be there.

Then Captain Commander Zombie John Shepard still working for the Alliance and running away from Cerberus by seeking refuge on the quarian flotilla even though he owned a ship would be in a jail cell.

...Before getting summarily sentenced to dying out in void for a _second_ time for not revealing the whole truth during a vital quarian military operation.

It almost made John laugh.

_Almost_.

At _least_ he'd told the whole truth to Rael.

And while everyone on the ship was familiar that he was distancing himself from Cerberus, they didn't really know the finer details of what was going on.

He wanted to tell them _everything_... But that would make things absurdly complicated.

Not to mention it would make Rael look bad, him look bad, and Tali look bad.

But you know what?

It was somewhat of a relief to see Garrus along for the ride with Joker at the helm and Chakwas in the infirmary.

That much he could account for. So it wasn't _that_ bad.

Unfortunately, it didn't ease, much less stop, any of the worries he'd been nurturing.

Nor did it stop any of the questions John was raising.

Questions like, what happens if someone really does start asking questions?

Or, more importantly, how did the Normandy find him?

John rolled the kink out of his shoulder and sighed. "Need me for anything else, captain?"

"No, Commander." Leena asnwered, "You're dismissed."

"Just one thing, ma'am, if you let me."

Leena tilted her head.

"Did they tell you how they found us?"

"Yes." Leena said as she pressed a few buttons on her terminal, "You left your transponder on and it pinged them right before entering our transit into Geth space..." She explained before giving him a look, "You should probably turn it off before it compromises our position."

He nodded to the woman, and followed Tali out of the bridge before forcing a chuckle that wasn't happy.

A "_Transponder."_

Right.

When the door to the bridge closed behind them to make their way back to the bridge, they both sighed.

"You cannot believe how upset I am right now." Tali started with a frown.

"Completely understandable, given the circumstances." John agreed, "You thinking the same thing I'm thinking?"

"Yes." Tali hissed, "Punch that cerberus bitch right in the face."

John laughed. "You're pretty close. But I'm really thinking we should search for the tracker right now."

Tali nodded and clapped her hands together. "_Right_. Much more productive idea."

"Where do think they would put something like that?"

"Well... considering they knew exactly where we were; I'd guess it's on you right now." Tali said as she got on her tippy toes to peer right into the insides of his shoulder pauldrons, "Look for something no smaller than my pinky, John."

"Your fingers are huge though." John said with a quirked brow.

Tali took a step back and looked at her fingers, tracking device forgotten. "What? No they're not."

"Your pinky's as big as my pointer, Tali."

She grabbed his hand and compared them.

"Huh. You're right."

Tali held his hand a little longer than necessary and shrugged.

Now that she thought more about it, she'd always paid more attention to the number of fingers he had... not really so much the _actual_ size of them...

That should've surprised her, but it didn't.

"Not that I'm complaining, hun." He interrupted by raising her hand to kiss, "Your hands look just fine. I like them, personally."

"Why thank you." She cooed, "_Anyways. _Look for something no smaller than the end of my pinky, as I said. If they had to track a device light years away, they used comm buoys to do it. Which means an ample battery to power the thing and a powerful electrical suite."

John sat down so she could get a better look out of his shoulder pads while he started checking the pockets in his chest rig.

Other than the stuff he'd loaded into them, they were empty of anything even remotely suspicious.

Omni-tool? No. He'd gotten a new one on Illium.

His issued Cerbers Radio? Of course not. He'd left it next to Jacob back on Freedom's Progress.

John was at a loss.

"Find anything yet, Tals?"

Tali shook her head and kept looking. "No. I'm not finding anything. Maybe it _is_ smaller..."

"Any ideas then?"

She tapped her chin. "Where'd you get this armor?"

John's expression deadpanned.

"In a _Cerberus_ locker… shit… you think—?"

"Here." She said before taking out her multi-tool, "Turn around, I'm checking your suit's on board battery."

He did as instructed and turned around.

"You, uh, know what you're doing, hun?"

"Vaguely." She teased as she unscrewed the small panel on the left side of his back.

When she removed the plate of armor to get into the wires of his suit, she clicked her tongue. "...And there it is." She murmured before pulling out its wires, separating the device, and handing it to John, "Just as I thought. Hooked right up to your damn battery..."

"Too bad we hadn't known about it earlier..." He said disappointingly before shaking his head and playing with the weight in his hands, "We should've checked."

"We'll remember next time." Tali reassured.

John handed her the device back.

"There won't be a next time Tali." He corrected.

"Even better." She said as she pocketed the little dead tracker.

"Any reason you're keeping it?"

"I want to return it." Tali said with a cheeky smile, "It's only fair they get their stuff back."

* * *

><p>John and Tali stood and watched the Kodiak enter the Paltino's docking bay before engaging its rheostat thrusters for a safe landing.<p>

Ironically, if not comically, the sides of the white gleaming kodiak were bare of any Cerberus markings.

As a matter of fact, it looked like they'd been sanded off and replaced with Alliance markings. John allowed himself a chance to shake his head all the same before looking to Tali, giving her a nod, and approaching the vessel.

"Ready to see Garrus?" John asked with one shallow sigh.

"It's been a long time." Tali admitted, "And I'd be lying if I hadn't missed him a little..."

Olasie, who'd volunteered her squad for Garrus' arrival, sent several of them to flank the ship while the rest had watched from a steady distance away.

They weren't pointing guns at the shuttle... but it never hurt to be too careful.

"Just a second..." Garrus said over the Kodiak's loud speakers, "I'll be right out."

"Take your time Garrus," John answered, "We're in no rush."

He leaned into Tali. "Nervous?" he whispered to her.

She scoffed slightly before dipping her head and staring at the floor. "Maybe."

"It's Garrus."

"I know." She said before staring at him, "But I don't know if I want to hug the bosh'tet or punch him in the face."

"When in doubt, Tali, It's always both." He grinned.

"Not helping." She mumbled.

The Kodiak's doors hissed open and out stepped a rugged looking turian in blue armor.

"Here I am." Garrus said with a wide grin.

"Damn Garrus." John walked right up to the smug looking turian and gave him a rough pat on the shoulder, "You look no worse for wear."

"It's only been close to two years." Garrus said as he nodded before looking past Shepard to the quarian behind him.

"Tali."

Tali walked right up to turian, gave him a square look in the eye, and hugged him.

"I forgive you." She said simply.

Shocked, Garrus returned the hug and stared at Shepard giving him a little shrug and tight lipped smile. It was the human's way of saying 'you're lucky she's not pissed at you' look.

So no slap to the face or an onboard EMP to his suit's electrical suite.

Well, that went better than Garrus expected.

According to Liara, there was supposed to be a fallout to pay for what she'd done to Tali.

Apparently not.

"...Thanks, Tali."

"You're still an asshat." She said before separating from the hug and stepping in next to John.

"So, what now?" John asked.

"Well, I guess you can introduce me to whoever needs it... and then we can talk about some important things."

John nodded. "And after that?"

"You two come to the Normandy with me."

John took a deep breath. "I'm going to need some major convincing before I step foot on that ship."

Garrus stared at him for a moment.

"How many people were on Freedom's Progress, Shepard?"

John didn't meet his gaze.

"This is a matter of helping millions."

"It's always a matter of helping millions." Tali said, crossing her arms, "It isn't a question of helping them. It's the question of whom you're doing it with, Garrus."

All Garrus could do is shrug. "I don't know what to say, Tali."

"We'll talk more about it later, then." John said.

Tali waived over Olasie and Juel who'd been watching from the other side of the cargo bay.

When they finally came over, Tali introduced them. "Olasie, Juel, this is Garrus. He's an old friend of ours."

"Heard a lot about you, Mr. Vakarian." Juel introduced politely.

"Most of it good, I'm assuming?"

"Most if it, yes." Juel replied with a small smile.

"And this is Olasie." Tali brought Olasie a little closer, "She's under Prazza's platoon. She was with me when we found John."

"Nice to meet you." Olasie said.

"Always a pleasure to meet a flattering lady."

Olasie blushed. "Ehm... t-thanks."

Garrus turned back to John. "I think now's a good time to bring you to the Normandy. At least to see it."

"Is Miranda and Jacob on it?"

Before Garrus answered him, Juel and Olasie both look at each other before staring exasperatedly at both John & Tali.

"_Wait_." Juel held up a hand, "What in dirty fuck is going on? Miranda and Jacob work for _Cerberus_."

"Why the hell are they on that _ship_?" Olasie asked disbelievingly.

Tali immediately faced the two and gave them harsh looks. "We're in a _very_ delicate situation right now. Understand? Do not speak of it. Because I won't say anymore. At least not until we're somewhere where we can talk about it more openly. Got it?"

Olasie sighed and shook her head. "Fine."

"Okay." Juel huffed.

"Yes is the answer to your question, Shepard." Garrus said, lingering his stare for a while longer on Juel and Olasie before looking back to John.

John bit his lip. "Well. That's gonna be awkward."

Tali actually laughed. "Why? Because we ditched them?" Tali slapped his shoulder playfully, "No. It's sending them a message, John. It tells them you can't be _manipulated _into their bullshit."

"See? That's a good way to look at it." Garrus encouraged.

"Tali?" John crossed his arms and looked at her, "What do you think?"

She looked at the Kodiak and chewed on her lip. "Well… If Joker and Chakwas are there too… then… I guess it's okay…"

"If you have people on the ship you trust..." Juel drifted off.

"Want to tag along?" John asked him.

He shook his head instantly.

"No. I mean—I _do_, but it's _Cerberus_... And I don't want to intrude on something like this."

"Intrude?" Garrus laughed, "You know, we've got a Salarian biologist there that would absolutely _love_ your company. You and Olasie can get a tour."

"Olasie?" Juel nudged her shoulder, "What do you think?"

"Why not. Live a little, right? Terrorist organization or not."

"Then I guess I'm on board with the idea." Juel said as he clapped his hands together, "So we're leaving now then?"

"Step right in." Garrus said by waiving his hand.

Olasie called out to Talukh on the other side of the deck. "Hey. I'm leaving with Tali and will be back in a bit. Tell Prazza please!"

"You got it, Olasie."

When they all stepped inside, Garrus sat at the helm and closed the Kodiak's side doors before grinning widely at his passengers. "Tali? John? You're going to love the new Normandy. Believe me. And I've got a surprises for both of you that you can't pass up. Well, two for Tali. Wait. Make that three."

"Three presents?" Tali asked, surprised, "You got me three things?"

"Just wait Tali." Garrus dismissed before picking up the radio and calling for the Paltino's ATO for permission to leave their docking bay.

While Garrus talked, Olasie and Juel conversed quietly while Tali leaned slightly into John.

"Keelah, John. So many problems to deal with... but at least we've got each other..."

"Even with the strings attached, I would agree." John said with a smile before putting an arm over her shoulder and leaning back to get more comfortable.

"You set back there, Garrus?" Shepard called out.

"Almost. Just waiting for the captain to give us the green to go."

"She's probably wondering why you want to leave right after you arrived. It's only been four minutes." Juel said aloud.

"Probably." Garrus said with a shrug before noticing he'd just gotten his go ahead, "But she seems okay with it. Ready everyone?"

"Ready." Tali said with a slight smile.

"Then we're away." Garrus pulled the kodiak around and disembarked from the Paltino back to the Normandy.

The inky blackness of space enveloped every window the kodiak had.

When the dome lights dimmed, Garrus decided he go straight to business.

"You trust your friends, Tali?" Garrus asked, turning his head slightly to look at them.

Tali didn't even have to think about it. "Of course. With my life."

"How much do they know already?"

"Juel's a bit more in the loop than Olasie, so we're going to have to get her caught up." Tali answered before staring at both of them, "What we're about to tell you can **_not_ **leave us. Got it?"

Juel and Olasie nod diligently.

Tali leaned in. "The Normandy is not Alliance."

"I guessed that much." Olasie uttered, shifting rather uncomfortably in her seat, "Why are they here, though? What are they trying to do?"

"Believe it or not, they're here to help. Really." John said with a hoarse sigh, "And the ship's technically mine... and they want me back..." Shepard included.

"Okay, so you weren't lying about being the captain of the ship." Olasie said, partly nonplussed, "But why do you have a turian and salarian as part of the crew?"

"We're picking up people along the way to help us stop the Collectors." Garrus piped up.

"You mean, to stop their abductions?" Juel asked.

Garrus simply nodded. "Yup."

"And it's all backed by Cerberus." Olasie finished as she started piecing together the puzzle.

"Exactly. It's a well-intentioned cause. _But_..." John drifted off.

"What John's trying to say, is that he's not up for the idea of partnering up with a terrorist organization." Tali finished for him.

"Bingo." Shepard mumbled.

"Like I said. It's a delicate situation." Tali craned her neck and rubbed it stiffly.

"Delicate?" Juel scoffed, "That's putting it lightly. You've got a razorblade sitting right on your end of your eyeball."

"That's quite the analogy." John breathed with a grumble.

"And we're _trusting_ these guys to help us for the next _week_ in the Dohlen system?" Olasie stood up and started pacing.

"Olasie? Sit down. I've done the pacing myself enough already." Tali said with a shrill sigh, "I've thought it over a million times already, and, unfortunately, the bigger picture has to come first. At least for right now."

"Odd, coming from you, Tali." Garrus interrupted.

She gave Garrus an acrid looking glare. "I still don't like it. Had we found the funds from an _appropriate_ source, I'd have crammed Cerberus' offer right down their throats."

"I don't either, Tali. I would much rather take it straight to the Alliance." The turian argued, "But the politicking and its 'hedge of bureaucracy' is stalling their ability to act effectively. Something all of us should should be expecting by now, if experience says anything."

"Tragic." Olasie grimaced slightly, "If its as bad as Mr. Vakarian says it is..."

"...Then there won't be any colonies left to save." Juel panned.

"It's the devil's advocate." John said quietly.

Shepard looked at Tali and gave her a distant look. "...You know we have to do this."

Her eyes gazed at the floor while she listened to the hum of the kodiaks engine.

"I know." She murmured.

"And we all know the reapers could very well be behind this."

Tali closed her eyes harshly. "Keelah, John. That's the worst part."

"What are you guys going to do?" Juel asked, leaning in worriedly, "I mean, after this mission?"

"Stay on the Normandy." Tali answered before John could.

Garrus glanced behind him, completely shocked.

John was doing the same.

"Then I'm coming with." Juel said instantly.

"You don't have to feel obligated, Juel." John cautioned with a sad grin.

"But I do, Shepard." Juel countered.

"Aw, shit." Olasie face-palmed and shook her head, "I'd do the same... but I've still got a _job_."

"Maybe I can pull some strings." Tali suggested with a small smile, "We'll worry about it later."

"We're coming up to the Normandy now, guys. Now's the time to see her if you want to." Garrus said to his passengers.

They all step in behind the turian and get a view of the SR2.

Tali gasped.

Less than a kilometer away was the Normandy SR2 with it's pearly white color contrasting darkly against the blackness of space behind it.

Cerberus or not, the ship looked good.

Beautiful even.

"_Keelah_. She looks _better_ than the SR1..."

"Everything about her is better." Garrus rasped, "That's your first surprise Tali. You'll love to see what keeps her running."

"And if I'm the captain, then I've just appointed Tali as my Chief Engineer." John said with a crinkled smile.

Tali beamed at him.

"What about me?" Juel asked.

"What're you good at?"

"Well, I got this fancy plaque with my masters in electrical engineering."

"You're so full of shit, Juel." Olasie punched his shoulder.

"Yeah, I don't have a plaque. But I really am an electrician."

"Don't forget your computer science." Olasie added, "You forgot to mention that."

"That too." Juel rolled his eyes, "What're doing Olasie? trying to make me feel better about myself?"

"You could say that." She laughed.

The kodiak's radio squawked. "Jacob to Garrus. You okay?"

Olasie's eyes narrowed. She completely recognized Jacob's voice.

"Doing just fine." Garrus replied, "And I've got visitors."

"Is, uh, Shepard onboard?"

"Indeed. Along with Tali and two other quarians that'll be very happy to see you."

"Bosh'tet." Olasie quipped.

Jacob sounded rather uncomfortable.

"Uh, right. See you shortly."

Garrus cut the channel and brought the Kodiak into the Normandy's docking space.

When the Kodiak touched surface, Garrus turned off the shuttle, sighed, and got up from his chair.

"Welcome aboard the Normandy, everyone."


	50. Time to lead, Commander

_**A/N: **_**YOU _NEED_ TO READ THIS.**

_**WARNING: **_

_**CHARACTERS WILL BE DISCUSSING EVENTS THAT HAVE OCCURRED IN **_

_**MASS EFFECT DISSOLUTION: THE FALL OF NORMANDY. SPECIFICALLY, THE CHAPTER "THANKSGIVING". ** _

If you want to refresh your memory, go there and read the chapter real quick. Otherwise, I'll provide a quick summary below to get you up to speed.

The summary below contains major spoilers for the first book. I'D REALLY SUGGEST READING THE FIRST IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY.

**/SPOILER STARTS\**

The Normandy crash lands on a planet called Ullipses. A "garden world" in the barest sense in that it does have a protective atmosphere and breathable gases. Nothing else roams the planet other than tundras and deserts.

A mere two days pass before the Normandy crew discovers the Collectors are there on the planet with them. And only because the Collectors attacked them without any provocation. Fortunately, the Normandy and her crew are able to withstand the firefight and emerge victorious, at the cost of several lives and two missing in action. Desperate for escape and safety, the crew repairs their only surviving distress beacon, in spite of knowing that the closest com buoy is light years away, and hope that Alliance will start an investigation to their last known location when they realize the Normandy hasn't returned.

This is where it gets worse.

The collectors had attacked because they needed three humans to synthesize a paralytic for their seeker swarms. When the collectors finally had created what they needed, they sent out the seeker swarms and captured the Normandy crew in its entirety. Nobody, not John, not Tali, Garrus, or anyone on Ullipses has any recollection of the seeker swarms. Their only guess is that they were also administered (forcefully of course) a drug to also give them memory loss.

But something eventful happened. The non-human crew, Tali, Garrus, Wrex, and Liara, were left behind. It is unknown how this occurred.

Shepard's band of misfits leave the Normandy by taking the Mako to mount a counter-offensive to rescue Shepard and the crew. After infiltration of a collector base, and after noting that the crew is nowhere to be seen on the ground, the group steals a collector gunship and flies to the Collector ship (Yes the one from ME2 at the beginning of the game). After crash landing the gunship (Because of Garrus' lack of ability to fly a foreign vessel) The group stumbles out and begins their search for the crew and John.

That's all you really need to know. If you want the rest, you gotta read the first story. :)

**/SPOILER ENDS\**

Enjoy!

Will have more questions for you guys to answer when you're done reading. Would gladly appreciate your input/feedback.

Thanks.

* * *

><p><strong>|Chapter 21|<strong>

**|Present Time|**

**|DATE: 2-07-2185|**

* * *

><p>It wasn't long before Miranda and Jacob were in the Normandy's lift to take them down to the cargo bay.<p>

And while they both weren't ecstatic about the quarians John brought with him, Jacob was the only one who'd expressed his discomfort.

"Our luck." Jacob muttered.

Miranda slipped in one small smile. "Our luck, Jacob. Our luck." She repeated with a sigh.

Jacob chuckled. "What're you expecting will happen?"

"What else." Miranda answered plainly when the lift stopped and the doors opened.

"Let me go first, Miranda." Jacob insisted, "You aren't exactly the most finesse person on the ship when it comes to making amends."

"—or establishing relationships, apparently." Miranda sighed before falling in line behind Jacob and giving him the go.

He nodded his thanks and went up the Kodiak while watching Garrus step out.

With John.

And his three quarians.

"Like it so far?" Garrus said, holding his hands up to parade the cargo bay's size to the guest's he brought.

"We just got here Garrus." John said.

The first thing Tali noticed when she stepped out of the Kodiak was the Normandy's fluorescent lighting.

And it reminded her nothing of the old Normandy.

"...It's… definitely brighter." Tali said immediately as she graced the walls around her with a snooping stare. When she finished her full round-a-bout, her stare fell immediately on the black man approaching them and the woman behind him.

Tali's temper flared and she flexed her hands tightly into fists.

_Fuck_.

Did they really have to see them so _soon_?

John, Olasie, and Juel still hadn't finished their own quick skimming before realizing who was walking up to them.

"Right on time." Garrus noticed before giving the two operatives a single nod, "I see you've come for the welcome party."

"Glad you came back with the right stuff." Jacob said with his pearly smile as he greeted the turian.

Garrus just nodded his thanks and gestured toward the group of newcomers.

John gave the man an awkward stare while Olasie couldn't help but fume at him.

Matter of fact, all _three of the_ quarians were fuming at the man.

_And_ Miranda.

"Not exactly sure if you remember, Mr. Jacob." Olasie spat before putting a weight on one foot and crossing her arms, "But I'm Olasie. We exchanged pleasantries on Freedom's Progress."

John could help but bite the tip of his tongue and clench his teeth.

God _damnit_. He was afraid this was going to happen.

John glanced at Tali, and, from what he could tell (just by her body language alone), told him she was actually looking _forward_ to seeing if Jacob would squirm a little.

Jacob's smile waned slightly.

"Yes… I remember perfectly, ma'am."

"Hmph."

"I understand, very completely, why you dislike me." Jacob admitted before frowning, "And I know it doesn't mean much, but I have no ill will against the quarians. None. And what Cerberus did to your people was evil and wrong."

Miranda rose an eyebrow, but kept her lips shut and let Jacob have the stage. He said he was going to handle it, and by god, she was going to let him.

Olasie's standoffish attitude eroded just slightly and she slouched a little.

But Juel didn't.

"Words don't mean much to the dead, Jacob." Juel intoned very evenly. Tali positively smiled at Juel's well put out remark.

"I know." Jacob admitted immediately, "And that's why I'm not excusing Cerberus' actions."

Juel didn't bother replying and Jacob took the hint.

"Look," Jacob began, "I don't know what kind of relationship we're all going to have together in the future, but I'm looking forward to working with all of you on Haestrom if it means anything."

Jacob finally laid his eyes on John.

"Commander." He nodded.

"Jacob." John replied, "How pissed was your boss when you had to tell him I left you guys?"

"Fairly." Miranda interrupted.

"I'll tell him I'm sorry, if that matters." John replied, casting her a quick and blank stare.

Garrus had been staring between them all and twiddled his thumbs rather anxiously the entire time.

And since nobody else was talking anymore, Garrus decided it be best to finally intervene.

"_So_. It's by order that all privileges and responsibility of the Normandy be handed solely over to Shepard's immediate oversee, effective immediately."

All three of the quarians nodded happily at that, including John and Jacob.

"Sounds about right." Jacob agreed.

Olasie tilted her head up and noticed someone staring at them from a floor above. She gave the person an odd look. "Uhm... who is that?"

Garrus glanced behind him to get a look himself before turning back around and thumbing the engineering floor right above them and the large window that spanned its main hall. "There, the classy lady staring at you right above us, is Subject Zero. She likes to be called Jack."

Tali looked up, as did the others, and stared at the… bald human female with tattoos lining her entire body.

Tali couldn't help but stare oddly at her boobs also.

"Eh… any… _reason_ why she's topless at the moment?" Tali mentioned to add, still staring at Jack and her completely bare breasts, "Isn't that—_I don't know—_frowned upon for humans?"

John stepped up next to her and stared at the strange looking woman. "Uh… generally, yes." John said with a raised eyebrow as he nodded absently to Tali's comment.

When Jack finally realized everyone from the lower deck was staring at her, and sensing they were ogling her because her boobs were out in the open, she cupped her breasts to show them off and mouthed, "they're _just_ tits, ladies and gents," before rolling her eyes and walking off back to her hidey-hole.

"So what she, uh… what she doing here?" John decided to ask.

"She's a biotic." Garrus answered after watching her walk off, "Best one I've ever seen at that. I'll tell you more about her later."

"She looks like a criminal." Juel hesitated to say.

"Oh, that's because she is." Garrus hastily added with a smile, "She's fucking crazy."

"She going to be a problem?" Shepard said with a confused expression.

"Unknown." Miranda said with a blank stare.

"Right." John nodded with a smile that was anything but happy, "First impressions guys. They're important."

Jacob didn't do a good job of hiding the look of embarrassment on his face.

"Mrs. Lawson," Garrus turned to her, "Is it possible we have Mordin come down and give both Olasie and Juel a tour of the Normandy? I have to go up and talk to Tali and Shepard."

"Of course." Miranda said before turning on a heel and heading to the elevator.

"I'll go with her. Give you guys some space." Jacob said before following her.

And just like that, they left, and the group was left alone.

"Let's just make one little rule, okay?" Garrus addressed with his back still facing them all, "Let's all get along and not cause any more drama than the ship already has."

"He's right." John agreed reluctantly, "If we want this ship to be anything like the original, we can't incite anything anymore than what's necessary. Cerberus bullshit or not."

They all nodded and didn't bother with saying anything.

"Can you tell us a little about this… Mordin?" John asked as he faced Garrus.

"Interesting man. Former STG. Biologist who'd been involved with handling the Genophage."

"What's he working on exactly?"

"Not something I can explain without lecturing you."

"It'll be another few minutes before he comes down the elevator… I think we've got time." Tali said.

Garrus caved in and shrugged. "Fine." He grumbled, "How intact is your memory, Shepard?"

"Pretty intact so far… haven't had any issues. At least, from what I can remember." John joked.

"Funny." Garrus said as he shook his head, "But we all remember Ullipses. Right?"

John's smile fell off his face.

Tali's too.

"Yes. We do." Tali nodded stiffly.

Garrus' mandibles pressed into his face to frown. "Remember, Tali, when we woke up alone on the Normandy, with all the crew gone?"

Tali shuddered. "Yes."

"Turns out they used these… little drones. Millions of them apparently. And they swoop in giant waves toward their target and inject some kind of paralytic into you with several microscopic needles on their asses."

"You'd make a great teacher, Garrus." John managed to say with a tired grin, "I'm imagining Mordin told you all this?"

"Yeah."

"That doesn't explain how we all woke up without any recollection of what happened though." Tali mentioned.

"Mordin doesn't know why either. He guessed the drones inject something to make you forget too."

John shook his head as his eyes glazed over in memory. "You know, the last thing I remember then, before waking up on the collector ship… was driving on my way back from a patrol in the Mako." John said, "And… that was it."

"I was taking a nap at my post while Garrus took his turn to stay watch." Tali said with the shake of her head, "That's what I remembered."

"And the last thing I remembered was thinking about whether or not to write something on your visor with that marker." Garrus panned with a smile.

John laughed. "God, I forgot all about that."

Tali rolled her eyes at both of them. "Bosh'tet."

"I feel _so_ out of the loop." Juel butted in. Olasie couldn't help but nod and agree with Juel.

"Ah, you didn't miss out on much." John said as he shook his head, "I mean, we laugh at it now… but it was hell then."

Tali and Garrus nodded.

John turned back to Garrus. "When all of us were back on Freedom's Progress, there was a quarian there. Only one guy left in the whole damn city. Showed us the drones you just mentioned with some security footage he'd pieced together."

Tali nodded and spoke. "John and I guessed it was the little drones that were responsible for all that."

"You guys are talking about Veetor." Garrus said.

Tali eyebrows scrunched up. "What? How'd you know his name?"

"Cerberus gave the data you handed over to Mordin. Then Mordin gave everyone on the Normandy a seminar of his studies and research he'd been doing since he joined us. Mentioned Veetor as a reference in his bibliography."

"You still haven't answered the question yet, though." Tali hastened to add, "What did he learn?"

"A lot, actually. He's working on a countermeasure to prevent any of that from happening again."

"That's good." John nodded, "Because there's nothing stopping them from doing it again."

"Which makes them impossible to fight right now." Garrus agreed, "So, until then, all we're doing is recruiting people to help us along the way."

"There's a lot hinging on one thing." Juel worried, "What if he never finds it?"

"It's not an option." Garrus said as he faced him before shaking his head, "He either synthesizes the counter-measure or we all go home."

The elevator doors opened, and out popped a salarian with a mug of hot tea in hand as he ruffled through one of the pockets in his lab coat, all while he held a conversation with EDI.

"Genetic locus full of ad hoc, EDI. Alleles, product RNA, phenotypic traits, DNA; all synthesized…" Mordin took a breath, "Synthetic organism. Must be. Very clear collector drone organic machine."

"Understood, Mr. Solus." EDI agreed in a more VI'ish tone since she hadn't been introduced to her new guests and captain yet, "I will continue culture sampling and report to you when it is completed."

"Mordin." Garrus greeted when Mordin took a moment to sip his tea, "glad you could come down here."

"Of course." Mordin smiled when finally found what he was looking for, "Here to serve."

Mordin turned to face the commander before blinking. "Commander Shepard. Glad to have you aboard. Look forward to working with you."

John extended a hand. "Likewise, Dr. Solus. Haven't been told much, but I'm impressed with what I've been informed of so far."

Mordin took the hand and smiled. "Still have much to do, however. Please hold applause though. Should be for after I create counter-measure."

John laughed. He could tell right off the bat the he and Mordin would get along well.

And it looked like he had a sense of humor.

Everyone liked that.

Mordin then turned to the three quarians. "This must be Tali'Zorah." He bowed his head slightly, "Honor to meet you."

Tali immediately went up to the man and they exchanged handshakes. "The honor is mine, doctor. I'm glad you're on the Normandy."

"Likewise." He said before taking another sip of his tea and stepping a little closer to the last two guests, "Apologize for not knowing your names; Tali'Zorah and Commander Shepard understandably more famous."

"Not a problem, Doctor." Juel intoned with a slight smile, "Juel'Kaan with my friend here, Olasie'Venn. We're friends of Tali and John."

"Hi." Olasie greeted.

"Shall we?" Mordin said as he turned back to the elevator, "Would love to start at lab and work way down."

"Wherever is best for you, Doc." Juel said as both the quarians follow him into the elevator.

Olasie waved both John and Tali good-bye before the doors closed on them to bring them up to the Normandy's CIC.

"And then there were three." Garrus said as he faced John and Tali.

"Where we going?" John wondered.

"Up to your room." Garrus answered, "Or, should I say, both your guys' room?"

"I don't mind that. Do you Tali?"

Tali shook her head. "Nope. Don't mind at all."

"Good." Garrus conceded.

They all stepped next to the elevator and waited. When it came down to pick them up, Garrus went in with both John and Tali and pressed the button to take them up to the Captain's quarters.

"Remember, I got presents for you guys when we finally get to your room." Garrus started, "And they're good ones."

Tali leaned back on the elevator's railing. "What is it?"

"You'll find out."

"How's management been doing since I wasn't here?" John decided to ask.

"Miranda's been the acting captain in your place." Garrus explained, "And she's been doing surprisingly well. I don't have any complaints. She gets the job done."

But then Garrus sighed. "However, she doesn't exactly have the same… _tact_ as you do."

"How so?"

"Well…" Garrus shrugged, "She's not the one to go to when you want to spark up a conversation… or even develop a relationship outside of something professional."

"She's a textbook, Garrus." John said before shrugging himself, "It's hard to see her any other way."

The three finally arrived at John and Tali's new cabin.

"Here we are." Garrus said as they all step out.

"Kinda small up here…" John observed as they step into a foyer of some kind.

"That's because the only thing up here is your living quarters."

"I was actually expecting the quarters to be on the crew deck…" Tali murmured.

Garrus finally opened the door to their room. "You're special. In the good way."

John bristled at the living space. "Holy shit, Garrus…" He stared boggle eyed at all of the eccentricities, "I feel like I'm some kind of… of—"

"—Space King? Yeah." Garrus confessed, "But you have to admit, it's certainly an upgrade from the SR1."

Tali didn't muster enough energy to say anything. So she stared at the aquarium full of fish before laying her eyes on their new desk and, more importantly, their new bed.

California King Size.

_Nice. _

"Plus, you _did_ save the Galaxy." Garrus continued, "Think it's fair, given the circumstances."

Tali looked around. "Where's the bathroom?"

"Sliding door right behind the desk." Garrus said as he stepped near the door to open it, "You've got everything you need here now. No need to shower with us simpletons anymore like you did with the old Normandy."

John scoffed. "This is… a lot to take in." He finally breathed.

"That's not all. I've got something else." Garrus walked over to John's dresser and retrieved a cardboard box.

"I believe this stuff is yours, Tali."

He handed it to her.

She gave the turian in front of her a cursory glance before accepting the large parcel and setting it on the desk.

"Should I open it?"

Garrus nodded. "Yes."

She opened it and gasped.

She reached in and took out the shotgun resting inside. "This… it's my old shotgun… well my spare one at least."

"My god…" John said disbelievingly before crossing his arms, "That's all the same stuff you left on Gonzalez's ship…"

"Yup," Garrus nodded, "along with a thermal bandolier."

"But…" Tali shook her head, "I put… something else in here…"

"You mean your Medals of Honor." Garrus supplied as he opened up a drawer on John's desk to retrieve them, "They're right here."

John immediately walked up next to Garrus and shook his head in amazement.

"Keelah…" Tali whispered as she took her Medal of Honor from Garrus' hand, "...never expected to see these again..."

"Wish you would have rescued mine." Garrus panned with a laugh.

Both John and Tali rolled their eyes.

John reached for his also and gave it a long gaze before shaking his head lightly and setting it back down on the desk.

He'd actually completely forgot about earning that.

As a matter of fact, he was sure Tali did too, judging by how wide her eyes were at the moment.

"Here's your last surprise, Tali. At least before you see the Normandy's engines." Garrus mumbled as he pulled out a chocolate bar out of his pocket, "For you. It's apology candy."

He gently handed it to her. When she accepted the bar of turian chocolate, she cocked her head to side and set her medal back down onto their desk.

"What for, Garrus?"

"You know why." Garrus replied quietly without even having the courage to look her in the eye, "…Because of Liara and I not telling you John was coming back."

Tali's heart sank.

Lifeless silence between the three quickly followed after.

"Garrus…" Tali whispered as she shook her head, "…It's okay…"

The turian shook his own head sharply at her. "_No_. No it's _not_. What we did was wrong." He argued, "Very. _Very_. Wrong. And you had every right to know what was going on."

She stared at bar of chocolate for long moment and felt two years' worth of pain she'd endured from losing John in under a second.

She did have every right to know.

She _should_ have known.

And what they did was unspeakably wrong.

She should have hated them both. More so to Liara than him, considering Liara had forced Garrus into promising that he'd keep his mouth shut to keep anything regarding John away from her.

But staring at this bar of chocolate, with its paper wrapper and silver foil, was, in a weird kind of way, a sense of symbolism.

A symbol for Garrus' mistake and his aim to recompense the suffering Tali's grief had procured upon her.

And she supposed Garrus was hoping she'd see that.

Fortunately enough, she did.

For as much pain and hopelessness she'd experienced over the years of John's death, it wouldn't bring her to actually hate them for anything longer than, maybe a year.

Two for Liara's case.

But still.

"I know it doesn't mean much…" Garrus rasped disappointedly to himself as he stared at the floor, "But I want you to know that I did care. And that it ate me up inside. A lot."

Tali kept staring at the chocolate.

Seeing as how Tali wasn't replying, John decided to speak up and save them all from another episode of silence.

"It's the thought that counts, Garrus." John said as he stepped next to Tali before clasping the turian on the shoulder, "Definitely the thought that counts."

Garrus still didn't look happy with himself. "Thanks Shepard. I guess I'll leave you two to be. Take your time and… talk things out. I'll be down in CIC in the meantime."

"Garrus?" Tali finally said aloud, looking up from the candy to him, "Thank you."

She even had the courage to smile at the turian before slipping the bar into a pocket, "It means a lot. Really."

Garrus finally let go of the imaginary breath he was holding and nodded to her. "You're welcome, Tali."

"I'll see you around?"

"Absolutely. Engineering is on the third deck, Chief Engineer. Whenever you're ready, ma'am."

Garrus nodded to them both before turning on his heel and walking out to leave them alone.

When the door closed behind him, both Tali and John stared out into their new quarters.

"Well…" John said finally, "What do you think?"

"Homey." Tali whispered as she wrapped an arm around his waist, "Definitely homey."

John smiled. "It won't be like the old Normandy… but I think we can make it pretty close." John said with a sigh, "All we need is Wrex and Ash."

"We can certainly try." Tali agreed.

He stepped down toward his bed before glancing at the lounge area.

"Wow, Tals…" He breathed, "This place is really something else."

"It's no Vista Cova," Tali jested by leaning up next to him, "But it'll do."

"Surprised you're not already on your way down to see the engines." John said before smiling at her.

"Well, I mean, I'm still new here. Kind of a little wary of the idea of wandering around by myself."

"Oh, Tali." He laughed, "You're a big girl now. Cerberus vessel or not."

"This is different, John," she pouted, "Would you care to join me when I do though?"

"Maybe after I change into some fatigues… that okay?"

Tali nodded. "Oh. Right. That'd probably be more comfortable."

He went over to the dresser and started rifling through its contents.

Seeing as how there wasn't anything better to do, Tali sat down on the sofa and decided she'd watch him take off his armor.

He popped off the seal on his gauntlets before unclasping the neck seal. "Appreciating the view?" he smiled.

"Mhmm…" She garbled with a lopsided grin, "Never gets old."

"It's been two weeks since I've been able to lift weights." John added as he finally got around to unlocking the clasps on his grieves, "Hoping they've got a proper gym we'll be able to use."

"Put it to good use." Tali said as she leaned farther back before putting both her hands behind her head to web her fingers together, "…Bend over a little bit."

He gave her a crooked looking expression. "…What?"

Her smile grew two sizes. "You heard me. Bend over a little bit. I wanna see your butt."

He scoffed at her and relented before comically showing himself off. "Like what you see?"

"Oh yes…" She nodded, "I do…"

"I feel like a stripper."

"Mmm… roleplay." Tali said as she bit her lip guiltlessly before laughing at her own stupid joke.

John couldn't wipe the smile off his face and he laughed. "I love you Tals."

"I love you too, John."

John immediately frowned. "Oh, shit." John started massaging his forehead, Tali's joke making him think of something, "This room's probably bugged."

"Let them see." Tali shrugged as she stared casually at the ceiling for some kind of camera, "I could care less if they want to watch our love life, John."

His shoulders sagged and he put on a shirt before walking over and sitting down next to her.

"I'm sorry we even have to consider something like that here." John sighed, "I don't have to think very far to imagine our cabin's bugged."

"It probably is." Tali said as she gave the room another cursory glance, "We'll find them. And we'll destroy them."

He smiled and put an arm around her. "That's what I wanna hear."

"But until then, they're going to have to be repulsed by our relationship." Tali mused, "And I'm hoping it makes them absolutely nauseous."

"We can hope." He finished before finding a pair of boots and pants and putting them on.

"Ready whenever you are, Tali."

"I'm actually excited."

"I bet."

They leave their room and go to the elevator. While they waited for the lift to pick them up, John crossed his arms and started thinking.

"How long before we get to Haestrom?"

"Thirty six hours, fourteen minutes." Tali checked on her timer, "Plenty of time to get up to speed with everyone on the Normandy."

"After we see the engines, maybe we should go and visit Joker. And then Chakwas."

Tali nodded. "That would be a good idea."

John bit his lower lip. "…Think we'll get paid?"

"What do you mean?"

"Think Cerberus is going to give everyone we pick up a paycheck?"

"I'd hope so." Tali said as she thought about it herself, "But… isn't that accepting, like, blood money pretty much?"

John shrugged. "I have no idea."

"It doesn't matter." Tali shrugged herself when the elevator finally arrived, "I'm doing this for you and the people getting taken from their homes, and because the collectors could be working for the reapers." She added with finality, "Nothing more."

They stepped inside and he gave her a nod. "We're on the same boat then."

When the door closed behind them, the elevator's PA clicked on. "Is there a specific level you wish to go to, Commander?"

Both Tali and John look up at the speaker.

"Ah. I heard you speaking with Dr. Solus just earlier." John said, "You're the ship's VI, correct?"

"No." The voice answered factually, "I am EDI; The Normandy's _Artificial_ Intelligence."

* * *

><p>1.) Jack. She's crazy. Am I handling her character right? At least from what you've seen so far?<p>

2.) Olasie (Tali's other friend). What's your opinion of her, if any? Do you like original characters? Would you be interested in knowing them more?

3.) EDI just introduced herself. To both Tali and John. What the hell do you think's gonna happen? Hazard a guess.

4.) What do you see happening on Haestrom? Hoping for a formal introduction into the "DARK MATTER" Theory? Because I've got pages of stuff I'm ready to dish out for it.

5.) Overall, what do you think of the story so far? Anything you want to see happen/not happen? Tell me.

You **_don't_ **have to answer all of them, it isn't necessary at all. Just whatever you wish to answer. The feedback and input really help me as a writer because the reason I write this isn't just for me. It's for all of you, my readers. Because really, I do care about what you have to say.

Thanks guys. Really. It warms me heart right up to know people actually take the time to read my stuff and actually enjoy it.

**NEWS: **Still doing touch up work on the first book and touch ups in the second. Changing it to sound more natural and flow more organically so it's more enjoyable to read. I've said it a thousand times before, but I like reminding you guys. It's nothing too major, but I'm stuffing more dialogue and more natural speech to make the story feel and sound more believable. And really? I'm having a lot of fun with it.

I've actually built a reputation for re-writing (I know, it's absolutely terrible) But I feel it necessary to do.

That's, uh, pretty much it for now!

-Narcotic


	51. EDI

A/N: Apologize for being off the grid for around two months. Have been working mostly on rewrites The End of Dawn, and The Fall of Normandy.

I also want to add, that when I'm finished rewriting this story (along with the prequel), I will re-release them; As in, I'm going to save all these chapters, delete them off this story, and add them back on every two days or so for you.

If you have any questions or concerns, please, send me a PM or leave a review for me to reply to.

Enjoy, friends.

-Narcrotic

* * *

><p>Tali didn't say anything.<p>

Absolutely.

_Nothing_.

John gave her a long sideways glance.

A frightened one.

She took in a long and unsteady breath before closing her eyes and channeling whatever was left of her patience into focus.

"…EDI." She said as evenly as possible, "That must mean something, _correct_?"

"Yes, Tali'Zorah." EDI replied, apparently unaware of the quarian's well-kept rage, "It's a phonetic pronunciation of E-D-I. Enhanced Defense Intelligence."

Whatever happy mood Tali was in just moments before exiting out of their new home was gone.

_Completely_ liquefied.

"You must be aware of the quarians'… _animosity_ toward artificial intelligence, yes?"

"Yes." EDI answered, "I have categorized and logged thirty two thousand instances, essays, and opinions of quarians and their relationship to the geth via the extranet as you entered the hanger. As a precaution, I waited to introduce myself formally, in the company of Commander Shepard, to alleviate any concerns you may have. Do you have any queries?"

"…Queries?" Tali bristled before turning to John and forcing a laugh, "Queries."

EDI didn't say anything.

And John didn't know what to say either.

Or even what to show on his blank face. So he did the only thing he could do. Work his mouth without a thing to say and shrug apologetically at her.

"What did you learn on the extranet." Tali asked, turning back to face the camera in the elevator.

"First search inquiries comprised mostly of the quarians' progressive lineage of AI, social studies, and history. Due to the second to most recent AI/VI Proclamation Act of 1723 and its laws governing VI and AI in the past, the geth were labeled as VI until the quarian exile of their homeworld in 1882 and their eviction of the entire Perseus Veil in 1895. A galactic poll, titled: "A.I. and a philosophical belief", was conducted, based on age, sex, and race, twenty five years after their exile. Ninety-nine point seven percent of quarian participants viewed the existence of A.I. with hostility. Ninety-eight point six percent believed it to be at least a precursor to inevitable conflict. All logical given the events of the time."

"_Still_ logical," Tali intercepted as she crossed her arms, "given the events of **_our_** time."

"Correct." EDI agreed, "The Raid of Eden Prime by the geth, allied by both Saren Arterius and Sovereign, do help support the allegation that A.I. will always be in conflict with organics."

"Allegations? Is that what we call it?" Tali spat with a harmonic rumble of anger.

"I did not mean to offend." EDI supplied with what had to have been a slight hint of apology in the AI's tone, "Nor do I intend to incite. I just wish to understand more."

"Here's what you need to understand." Tali said slowly, "There's a very important number in my society. Seventeen. Million. That number is the population of my _entire_. **_species_**. Tell me the pre-war population numbers of my people before our exile."

"Forty three billion."

"That's right." Tali whispered, "Forty three billion. When we left the Perseus Veil, EDI, we left with a humble number of fourteen million survivors. Less than _one_ percent of who we were. It was genocide. In every way, the geth _ended_ us." She shook her head and felt her teeth grind against each-other as a tear of hate welled in her eye, "They aren't _allegations_, EDI. They are facts. Do not mistake the two. _Ever_. Do you understand?"

Several seconds passed, which, as everyone knew, was an eternity for an artificial intelligence. Eventually, EDI finally replied.

"Yes, Ms. Zorah."

"I cannot believe Cerberus thought you were a good idea." Tali growled, "Actually, I can. It isn't hard at all."

Shepard stared at Tali with an unhappy look on his face before biting his lip and shaking his head. "EDI, take us to the engineering deck. And… don't introduce yourself to Juel and Olasie. At least for now."

"Yes, Commander." EDI replied, "Logging you out."

The elevator began its descent and Tali neatly flattened out her _Realk_ as she tried to make sense of it all.

"Don't say anything John, it isn't necessary."

He closed his mouth and relented. "Okay."

"I'm fine." Tali said anyways to try and reassure him, "It's just… Keelah, John. I can't even…"

"We'll worry about it later. Don't get too caught up in it right now."

"How can I? There's an A.I…. on this _ship_."

"We'll delve more into it later. Believe me. We will."

"What do you think of it, John? About having it with us? On the ship?"

"…I don't know." John answered truthfully, "It doesn't exactly make me feel comfortable, but Cerberus isn't stupid. There must be fail safes or blocks in place to prevent EDI from doing anything that could jeopardize us or the crew."

She sighed. "It's the principle, John."

"We both know they don't work on principle." He breathed before placing his hands on his hips when the elevator doors opened.

"But _you_ do." Tali said, neither of them stepping out of the elevator, "And what's your say about it? You're the captain now."

"Tali." He took a deep breath, "I don't know."

Tali suddenly felt… disappointed.

"I thought you of all people would understand." She murmured before looking at the floor.

"I _do_."

"Then _do_ something about it." She said before looking back at him, "Get _rid_ of it."

"…I haven't seen enough to make that decision yet Tali."

She took a step toward him.

"Have the geth taught us nothing?"

John grimaced and severed eye contact with her before putting his hands on his hips again.

"We don't even know anything about them either, Tali. Even after all the time we've spent fighting them." John argued as delicately as possible before placing both his hands on her shoulders, "For all we know, the geth could have been forced to work with the reapers the same way Saren was. Indoctrination maybe. Just for machines."

Tali took a breath and took in what he had to say.

It's not like she hadn't thought of that before. The geth falling under the whim of what seemed to be an infinitely more superior machine.

But hearing it… it just felt… different.

She couldn't really put her finger on what it was.

Irrational anger?

Rational anger?

Fear even?

She sighed. "…I don't like it John."

"I know, Tali. I know." He drew her in for a hug, "We'll cross that road when we need to. Come on. Let's go see that engine."

"You really think that's going to cheer me up. Don't you."

"Well, it wouldn't hurt to try." John replied with a small grin, "Plus. This'll be a great time to meet your new team."

They walk into engineering and they first thing they walk into is EDI discussing something with both the Normandy's engineers.

Tali couldn't help but grind her teeth at the chilling voice.

"Of course, Ms. Daniels."

"Thanks EDI."

"Logging you out, Ms. Daniels."

Gabriella Daniels turned to Kenneth Donnelly. "You were right. I can't believe it."

"I'm _always_ right." Kenneth said before hastening his smile with unneeded ego.

She rolled her eyes and suddenly caught wind of John and Tali behind them before losing her breath and finally working her brain enough to salute him.

"C—Commander Shepard!"

Donnelly finally turned around himself and sipped his coffee before giving the man a casual salute himself.

"Wow. Commander Shepard in the flesh." Ken exclaimed before setting down his mug and nudging Daniels' shoulder. "Told you he'd come an' see us!"

He then faced Tali and smiled brightly at her. "And who might this youngin' be?"

"My name's Tali." She replied with a small, partly forced grin (Only because of EDI ruining her mood), "Tali'Zorah vas Neema."

"She's your new chief engineer." Shepard remembered to add before nodding to them both.

"Look at that, Ken." Daniels smiled, "We've just got ourselves a quarian boss."

"No complaints there." Ken said with an appreciative nod, "You know them quarians. Ingenious little rascals."

"Glad you guys are okay with it." Shepard started, "And you guys can keep the military formalities on the minimum. We're on a Cerberus vessel. Not an Alliance one."

"Ah, sorry. Old habits die hard, commander. We were both with the Alliance up until a little after you, ah… passed."

John nodded. "I see. Good to have some familiarity then."

"And about us having a quarian boss? Of course we're okay with it." Daniels piped up assuredly, "It's _Tali'Zorah_, commander."

Tali couldn't help but slightly blush at the unintended compliment.

"Now, I'm assuming the boss wants to see the engines?"

Tali nodded to Ken. "Please."

* * *

><p>"—and, of course, EDI the artificial intelligence aboard Normandy. Down in Crew deck just behind infirmary. Sure you overheard discussion I had with her."<p>

Both Olasie and Juel give each other looks.

"…So…" Juel cupped his hands together and stared at them, "Do you, uh, think the AI is… _necessary_?"

Mordin turned around to Juel, away from his lab table, his empty mug forgotten momentarily as he thought over the question.

Finally he answered.

"Understand quarians have history with Cerberus. Also understand opinion of AI." He began as he crossed his arms, "Concern understandable. Animosity expected. Would be worried if you didn't."

He paced around his table and took a spot next to them.

"Short answer? Yes. Philosophy not strong suit of mine, but ends justify means at current moment." He said before removing his whistling teapot off a hotplate, "Must remind you, no such thing as absolutes in philosophy."

"What about trust?" Olasie wanted to add, "Do you trust them?"

Mordin sniffed, poured a mug full of hot water, and delicately placed a spoonful of salarian herbs into an infuser.

"Difficult to answer. Cerberus manipulative. Devious. Coercive even. But not short sighted. Trust more for _personal_ relationship. Usefulness to sociopathic organization typically better. Worth more."

"That's… an interesting way of putting it." Olasie mumbled.

"But, true." Mordin supplied, setting the infuser into the mug, "Seen as resource. Usefulness necessitates job security."

"For your case." Juel intoned as politely as possible, "You're the only one who looks like he can even counteract the Collector drones."

"_Correct_." Mordin smiled, "Case in point. Ex STG Salarian biologist of my field not easily replaceable."

Juel took a breath and shook his head. "Still can't believe there's a goddamn AI on the ship. Can only wonder how Tali's going to handle that when she finds out."

"Ms. Zorah has been made aware of my presence." EDI answered.

"Oh." He paused for a second, "…How'd she take it?"

"She does not like me." EDI said disappointingly.

Juel nodded mostly to himself before giving Olasie a look.

"Not surprising." He uttered.

"Not surprising at all." Olasie repeated.

Juel took a breath and realized they were digressing from the tour.

"Sorry for the interruption doc." Juel apologized, turning back to Mordin, "Please, continue from where you left off."

"Have feeling not too interested in cell tissue replication or microscopy." Mordin said rather sadly as he looked over several of his cultures sitting on the table.

Olasie started wringing her hands while Juel tried to rub the sudden kink in his neck.

"Sorry…" Juel said to express some form of regret, "We appreciate the art… but we don't exactly understand everything."

Olasie caught the awkward silence that would have ensued after. "Say… why do you keep drinking tea?"

Mordin looked down at his mug before smiling. "Did test earlier. Won't bore you with details. Tested collector countermeasure on self. Side effects for failure minor… if _uncomfortable_."

He took a sip and shrugged. "Helps discomfort."

"…right." Juel breathed in surprise, "Uh, what's next?"

"Conference room." Mordin said before urging them to follow him, "Then Armory."

* * *

><p>"Wish they'd hurry their asses up and see me." Joker grumbled mostly to himself, but not out of earshot of Jacob.<p>

"They said they'd be here soon after they check the engines." Jacob decided to answer.

Joker leaned out of his chair to look at Jacob standing behind him, "He's still the same right? I mean, nothing off or…?" Joker trailed off and Jacob took the hint to reply.

"—From what we've gathered on the psyche history? He seems pretty much the same. Remembers everything he should at least."

"Yeah. I guess I shouldn't worry." Joker said, finally leaning back into his seat and sighing, "Tali is with him after all. She of all people would know if there was something wrong."

"Exactly. When we were all on Freedom's Progress, it was hell at first. The quarian was pissed. Thought Shepard was still alive and just up and left her."

Joker hadn't heard much of this. So he turned back around to face Jacob. "…No shit?"

"It was bad, yeah." Jacob panned with a sigh as he thought it over, "It took some convincing, but she was told the whole story and never looked unconvinced by it."

Joker shrugged. "She's a good judge of character."

"True that. She trusts Shepard that much."

Joker suddenly caught himself. "Whoah whoah whoah. Hold on. Why am I even talking to you about this? This is some kind of Cerberus hat trick to make me think you've done a good job rebuilding Shepard or something."

Jacob rose his hands sarcastically in the air. "Whoops. Guess you ou caught me red handed, Joker. Fooled my plans to win you over to the baby eating side."

Joker's expression went blank before he sighed. "You're joking. You've got to be joking."

"Mr. Taylor overheard your criticism involving the overuse of the term 'baby-eater' and felt it necessary to remind you." EDI butted in.

"Oh." He waved his hands into the air. "Of course he did."

Jacob shrugged and gave the cripple a smile. "Sorry."

Joker ignored him and decided to click on the PA down to engineering.

"Ahem. This is Joker requesting both Tali and John to come up here ASAP to see your favorite pilot waiting for you. Please."

He waited for a reply.

"Joker!" John called through the PA. Jeff smiled at the voice, "Sorry you weren't the first thing we saw coming aboard. Tali here _really_ wanted to see the engines."

"And what does she think of them?"

"They're amazing." Came Tali's silky voice, "Sure you can handle all that junk under the trunk?"

Joker didn't miss the intentional innuendo. "Ah, Tali. She rides just fine. Believe me."

Tali laughed a little. "We'll be right up, Joker. Sit tight. Okay?"

Joker felt himself nod out of habit. "Right. Got it. See you guys shortly."

He clicked PA off and felt himself lean into his seat. "Oh man. Life's going to be good now."

"Better than what it was?" Jacob prodded.

"What the hell do you think?" Joker quipped, "Ex-captain Miranda's a bitch and you're her side-kick. I've been waiting for a change of pace since day one."

Joker's tone told Jacob he was joking.

Mostly.

"Ah, Mr. Moreau." Miranda greeted as she entered the helm before looking over her tablet and a little display next to EDI's avatar, "Such flair to your vocabulary."

She didn't bother looking at him.

Joker squeezed his eyes shut and thought of the smartest comeback he could come up within the span of a second.

"…I'm a humble man of honest words."

"Better than spoiled child full of lies, I suppose." Miranda replied before selecting something off her tablet and walking back down toward CIC.

Jacob kept a straight face and didn't say anything. "She gonna write you up now, Joker."

"Who cares? I don't. Definitely _don't_ care."

"Why do you try so hard to be on Miranda's bad side? Remember what Lewinsky did just yesterday by accident? Made her mop the grates. With her own _toothbrush_."

"…I'm crippled. She can't make me get on my knees for manual labor."

"It's just going to make your punishment all the more creative." Jacob shrugged.

"She's not the captain anymore." Joker shot back.

"She's still your commanding officer. Which means she's still going to be Shepard's XO."

Joker rolled his eyes.

"She didn't earn the title of ice queen for no reason, Joker. Remember that."

"You know what Jacob? Just _let it go_."

"Fine. I'm gonna leave. Tali and Shepard should be here soon anyways and I should probably give you all some space."

"Good idea. A little peace would be nice."

Jacob finally turned on his heel and walked down the Normandy's neck, past the CIC, and into his armory.

Which was phenomenal timing since both John and Tali stepped out of the elevator to the CIC.

"Hey guys." Garrus greeted from a console at the CIC, "Joker's at the helm waiting."

John nodded to him. "Thanks Garrus."

"I'm going down to the forward battery. Have fun."

Everyone around the CIC cautiously glanced at their new visitors before returning to work.

"You know John, we should change the lights. Make it more like the old Normandy." Tali said, turning to John, "It'd save power too."

"Maybe a blue hue to compliment the walls?" John said when he finally laid his eyes on the galaxy map.

The map put a twinkle in his eye and he smiled.

He should have suspected the new Normandy to keep true to its original design. Good to see the new and old mix in seamlessly.

"Maybe." Tali said before pointing with her chin toward the helm, "Let's go see Joker already."

They started walking. When they stepped up the Normandy's neck leading to the helm, John leaned in slightly to Tali and whispered.

"Think he's changed?"

Tali scoffed. "What do you think?"

He shrugged. "I don't know."

As they walked, Joker turned his seat around with a whopping grin spread from ear to ear.

"Christ. It is so goddamned good to see you guys again!" Joker shouted.

"I'm back." John said before spreading his arms in the air in a welcoming gesture, "With a lot of strings attached as always."

Joker faced Tali and his smile got a little brighter. "And hot damn, Tali's looking no worse for wear."

"Believe me, I haven't washed my hair in a week." Tali said before playing with the imaginary locks on her head since she had a helmet in the way, "You wouldn't be saying that if you saw me without the mask."

"No, Tali, I don't think I would have." Joker panned with a grin.

"So. What's up?"

"That's it? A 'what's up'? You've been gone for two years and that's the best you got, Shepard?"

John shrugged and smiled, "To me it's only been, like, what? Three months?"

"Somewhere around there." Joker said with a dismissive wave, "Nothing's been up, really. But I bet you're wondering why I'm not in the Alliance anymore."

"That would be nice to know, yes."

"Believe me when I say, the only reason I joined Cerberus was so I could fly again, and because of you."

"The Alliance grounded you?"

"Hell yes they did." Joker frowned, "Split up everyone. So I got out and left."

John nodded and decided he'd touch up with the subject later.

"And Chakwas?"

"Only reason why she's here is because of me. And you of course."

"Ah. Makes sense." Tali nodded, "Always forcing the crew to keep up with their vitamins and whatnot."

"You think she's bad? Mordin's been handing out these weird supplements to the crew like candy. Running everyone like a freakin' experiment." Joker leaned in a little closer to them, "Mordin said he put Ralston on a placebo, but I saw him yesterday at lunch stabbing his food with the wrong end of a fork."

Then Joker stared at his elbow. "And just last week, after I saw Mordin, I had this tickle on my elbow… and now there's this… bump..."

"You… should take that up with him." Tali said in a slightly concerned tone.

Joker shrugged. "Ah. It's probably nothing. Mordin's a cool guy though. But enough about him and me. What about you guys?"

Tali leaned into John. "Well. We're a thing now."

"A thing... Wait. You weren't a thing on the old Normandy?"

"…well, we were… kind of." John tried to remember, "It was complicated."

"Mm. _Complicated_." Joker repeated with a drawl, "It's good to see nothing's changed. Congratulations guys."

"I'm surprised you would approve." Tali said.

"Surprised? Come on, Tali. Give me some credit. You guys are perfect for each other."

"Thanks Joker. Got a girl in your life yet?"

"Not exactly." Joker said with an exaggerated frown, "All I need here is Lucy. She's good enough for me."

"Who's Lucy?" Tali wondered, "She a crewmember?"

"No, Ms. Zorah." EDI replied, "Mr. Moreau is referring to his right hand."

Tali would've laughed, but she forced herself to remember who was saying the joke.

Joker rolled his eyes. "And there's the down side to the new Normandy. I'm surprised Tali hasn't peppered your blue box with buckshot yet."

EDI didn't say anything and Tali felt relieved enough to know Joker could shut it up.

"Sorry for the AI, Tali. It wasn't my choice. Believe me. It was nicer when the old Normandy was quieter."

"I concur." Tali said with a sigh.

"But if it brings you any comfort, there's nothing she could ever do to hurt us."

"It's the _principle_ though, Joker." Tali had to repeat herself, "That's the only thing that bothers me."

"It's Cerberus, Tals." Joker shrugged, "Sorry."

Joker immediately perked back up as if he'd just remembered something. "Hey. You saw the engines, right? I was hoping maybe later we could start up with a list of refinements I've got here that I'd like to make with you. Dampeners and mods. Stuff like that."

Tali nodded brightly at the idea. "Of course. Just give me the list and I'll get started."

"You made her chief engineer right, Shepard? Cause she should be."

"Already done." John assured him.

"Good. So. Ah, what's this mission we're doing exactly?"

"Mission brief's in two hours. Get anyone who needs it up to speed with what's going on." John answered.

"Can you give me just the gist?"

"It involves the Reapers." Tali said to get his immediate attention, "The system we're going to has a star that erupted into a red giant prematurely. And Sovereign was studying it when he was alive."

Joker's face went serious and he glanced between the both of them to make sure they weren't joking. "_What_."

"Yeah. We're going to find out why Sovereign was there."

"Shit." Joker panned with a long sigh, "Reapers."

"Collectors too." John reminded, "And they could be working together."

Joker frowned. "Yeah. I know. What're we expecting there?"

"We're not entirely sure." Tali explained, "we're hoping it's nothing. You'll get the finer details in the brief. As for what we could be facing? Geth probably. If we're lucky, just the sun. So bring sunscreen."

"Funny joke Tali. Is that all?"

"I can't think of anything else. So I guess that's it." Tali said.

"Fine." Joker turned back around his chair, "It was nice catching up with you. But I think it's Chakwas' turn now."

"Oh come on Joker, sick of us already?"

"Would it hurt if I said yes?"

John smiled. "Don't change Joker."

"Definitely won't."

"I guess it is a good time to go and check on Chakwas then."

"Do it. She'll be excited to see you guys."

"Bye." Tali waved.

"Bye, Tali." He said with the dip of his head, "You too Commander."

* * *

><p>"Where the hell's Shepard?"<p>

"Talking with Joker." Garrus replied without ever glancing at the half naked girl next to him, "Why?"

"I wanna see him."

"For what reason?"

"Uhm. Because?"

"Maybe if you put on on of the shirts we gave you, he'd be more opted in meeting you, Jack."

She cupped her breasts mockingly to try and get the turian's attention. "Why. You don't like my jugs?"

Garrus finally faced her with a glare. "What do you think? I'm not human, Jack. You're not taunting me with anything but balls of fat."

She frowned and put her hands back down.

"So, shirt then?"

Garrus finally stopped his calibrations on the forward battery and stood up straight to finally face her. "Look. You want to see him. I get that."

"But?"

"You should wait until he comes to you."

"Why?"

"Because, Jack. He needs to find reasons to stay on the Normandy, and right now, you're not one of them."

Jack actually looked offended by Garrus' well put remark. "Whatever." She said, "I don't give a shit."

Garrus returned to his computer.

Jack still didn't leave.

"You're still here." Garrus panned with a monotone.

"Was wondering why you're the only one who wanders around while your gang sits in that room in engineering."

"I told them too." Garrus answered finally, seeing as how telling her that wouldn't hurt, "It's to keep things quiet around here."

"They scared of me?" She laughed.

"No." Garrus said before glaring at her harshly, "You should be scared of them."

"Garrus. Fuck, dude. Can't you see I'm fucking trying? I'm pouring myself out here and you keep stonewalling me."

"We're _not_ here to be friends, Jack. It hasn't been a day since you left that cell. It takes longer than that to reconcile your mistake of killing my _men_."

Jack felt a pit wrench around her stomach. "...I'm sorry." She mustered to say as she swallowed whatever was about to come up as a tear, "I know I fucked up."

Garrus didn't give her the luxury of replying. Nor did he offer his attention anymore. She didn't really deserve it.

He was still pissed two of his people died at the hands of this pent up psychotic. Which made him wonder how the hell this 'relationship' was going to pan out for all of them in the future.

Would he _really_ get over it?

What about his team?

He didn't know. And as much as he didn't want to admit it to Miranda, he wanted her gone.

At first, when he released her from the cell, he felt sympathetic from all the stuff she'd been through. But the more he thought about it, the more enraged he felt over the whole ordeal.

Part of him wished she'd just try and do something stupid so he could shoot her and be done with it all.

"Garrus, I said I was sorry."

"Leave, Jack."

Jack flexed her hands and fought away the pain she felt welling in her heart. She hadn't felt these feelings in a _long_ time. Why did she even care as much as she did? Why was she even looking for his acceptance anyways?

She didn't want to know, but she did.

Garrus was the first person who'd _ever_ been straight with her. And the first to ever look like a person who actually _cared _for people. And to see that for the first time? To see the disappointment, and anger, and pain that radiated from him killed her inside. Made her felt like she'd finally woken up to smell the ashes of all of the terrible choices and mistakes she'd made in her life.

She worked so hard in her life to get back at the universe for what it did to her. But now she realized she had become the thing she hated most.

"I'm sorry." She repeated in a whisper before finally leaving the man and walking out of the main battery.

She needed to go back to her hidey hole and rethink her life even more.

Things to do.

Things to say.

Things to change.

And it would start with a fucking shirt.

But before she could even make it down to pass the sleeper pods, she bumped into the two quarians and Mordin.

"Erhm. Hi." Olasie said before extending her hand awkwardly for Jack to shake.

Jack stared at the hand for a moment.

"Hey." Jack said as she finally took the hand, "What's up."

"Just touring." Juel replied curtly as he couldn't help but ogle her breasts with concern.

"Hello Jack." Mordin greeted, "Know you haven't had proper time to acclimate to Normandy. Maybe joining us in tour would help?"

"Ah, no thanks." Jack said as she stared between the three of them, "Got things to work out."

"Very well. Please take supplements next to bed. Helps brain and biotic symbiosis."

"Uh... Right."

As Jack left, Juel felt like cringing at how awkward of an encounter that was.

"So, she a recent addition to the Normandy?"

"Yes." Mordin answered as he stepped up next to a sleeper pod, "Was released from Normandy cell earlier this morning."

Olasie looked flabbergasted. "You're kidding me."

Mordin only shrugged, "Not my decision. Personally consider Jack dangerous. Witty. But very capable. Reckless also."

"What did she do to get into a cell?"

"Jack originally on prison ship run by Blue Suns. Cerberus negotiated contract to transfer her to us."

"So, you just put her in a cell in the meantime?" Olasie tried to figure out.

"No." Mordin shook his head, "Contract terminated due to Zaeed Massani's attendance."

"Who's Zaeed?" Juel asked.

"Zaeed Massani. Formerly Blue Suns founder."

"Formerly?"

"Yes." Mordin nodded, "Affiliation and history contributed to partial mission failure."

"You say partial..." Juel said worriedly, "What happened to make it partially fail?"

"Jack attacked team on purgatory unprovoked. Killed several of crew. Two of Garrus' team members included."

"And she gets to waltz around like it... didn't happen...? What."

"Need her." Was all Mordin could say.

"Keelah." Olasie breathed, "If that's how desperate you all are willing to go, then John's got quite the plate ahead of him."

Mordin sighed. "Indeed. All do."


	52. Haestrom

A/N: Apologize immensely for the long delay and short chapter. With school and me re-writing a whole bunch of chapters (I did A LOT of Rewriting), I finally had the time to sit down and finalize the most recent one.

Hopefully you'll enjoy! Have a questionnaire again for you guys. Shorter than the last two I've done.

* * *

><p>If lack for better word, the past day and half had been a lot of touch and go. Between getting up to speed with everything and everyone on the Normandy, and ignoring TIM's calls for a reunion of things, was Tali telling him right before they both went to bed to really consider tossing EDI's blue box out the airlock.<p>

There were a lot of things John needed to sort out, and Cerberus gunning up next to the quarians right here on Haestrom was definitely one of the ones he needed to worry about most.

If the quarians found out they were working alongside a Cerberus detachment and not an Alliance one?

Who knew what could happen.

All John could see were all the bullets and grenades that would start flying. And then the geth would catch wind of it all and mop up whatever was left.

"Three minutes until final approach. Helmets on, people."

John dawned his helmet after giving Tali a grim smile.

They could see Haestrom's sky now and the deserted city below.

What a mess.

No doubt Tali relished it though.

Or not, depending on the circumstances.

"Joker. We still clear?" John checked over the radio.

"Wouldn't be quiet if it weren't Commander. Don't worry."

"You're keeping check with the Paltino too, right?"

"Yup. They're doing just fine up here. What about you?"

John glanced out the helm window to the two kodiaks flying ahead of them.

"Checking now." John said as he gave Tali a dip of the head.

She took the hint and radioed Juel in the other shuttle.

"Tali to Juel, how're you doing?"

"Fair." Juel answered, "We're all okay. You?"

"Just fine." Tali nodded before giving John a thumbs up.

"We're all green on our end, Joker." Shepard answered, "We'll be on the ground shortly."

"Sounds good. We'll, uh, be up here in the meantime. You know. Waiting."

John sat down between Garrus and Tali.

Then he looked to the Cerberus unit, glanced at all the unfamiliar faces of Garrus' squad, and spoke.

"Listen up, people." John called out to get everyone's attention, "We hit the ground, we secure the perimeter, and help the quarians in any way we can. Do _not_ give them any trouble, we clear?

"Clear." The entire cabin of people called out.

"And if you do, you _will_ answer to me." John warned with a piercing stare, "Respect the chain of command, and answer to your superiors. The quarian officers included. Clear?"

"Clear." The kodiak's cabin repeated.

"Good."

Tali was happy no one could see her smile.

* * *

><p>"Give me the run down, EDI." John asked as they all stepped out of the Kodiak, "What're we looking at here?"<p>

"As per the briefing at 0700, multiple geth outposts run in equatorial orbit around Haestrom with several more stations on all gaseous bodies in the system. Armament potential and server numbers unknown. Estimates indicate geth server population to be at least in the tens of thousands. Able bodied platforms for immediate combat readiness are estimated to be at least two thousand based on prior large-scale engagements with the geth."

"Right. Anything on Haestrom's sun yet?"

"Not entirely. Premature eruption of Dohlen is still eluding me."

"Keep working on it then. We'll do what we have to down here."

"_Commander_." EDI said anyways even though she sensed their conversation was coming to a close, "I have questions about the original Normandy being stranded on Ullipses."

John frowned and tried to think of why this would be a good time to start asking questions about the past now.

"Uh. Does it have to do with our mission?"

"Yes."

He watched a small beetle walk out from the shade and sizzle under the sun and winced slightly. Tali had seen it too and frowned.

"Go ahead EDI, shoot."

"Alliance sources claim Ullipses was eradicated by means of a black hole or other powerful singularity forming in the center of the planet. Is this true?"

John's frown got a little deeper as the others walked by him from out the shuttle. "I'm not sure if I should be the one answering these, but yeah: Ullipses doesn't exist anymore because of some kind of black hole."

"I believe the collectors were responsible for the destruction of Ullipses."

He shook his head as the quarians established a perimeter to get the teams ready to roll out into the city.

"I don't think anyone finds that hard to believe, EDI." John panned with a sigh before guessing what she'd ask next, "I bet you're going to ask me about the meteors falling through the ground on Ullipses now too."

"Yes."

"EDI? My guess is the same as yours. Whatever those meteors were belonged to the collectors. And that they probably destroyed the planet. It's not beyond the scope of imagination."

"Understood, Commander."

"I'm surprised you didn't know more about this." He said with a bit of surprise, "I thought the Illusive Man would've informed you of all these facts by now."

"He did." EDI admitted, "But he wasn't there."

"Covering your bases I see." John said as he stepped in next to Tali before looking out to the old cityscape, "Good. Now tell me why you think all this could be related to Dohlen."

"Based on studies conducted since entering the system, I have found fair sized concentrations of element zero and dark energy, which indicates Dohlen's core is under enormous signs of corruption. If there is a connection between the reapers and collectors, then I believe they are researching a means of eradicating entire systems by weaponizing element zero on a cosmic scale."

John blew some air through his nose and closed his eyes.

Jesus. The scale of the problem escalated quite quickly.

"How did you get to that?" John asked as calmly as possible.

"It is still just a guess." EDI admitted before explaining her hypothesis, "Element Zero, when subjected to powerful electric currents, manipulates and releases dark energy to create mass effect fields; which, in turn, raises or lowers the relative mass of objects within its influence."

"Whoah. Hold on. You're telling me Sovereign stuck a shit ton of eezo in the sun and turned on the power?"

"Correct." EDI answered, "That is my guess."

"You think that's what made it erupt into a red giant then."

"I believe so. It is unknown how a celestial body of this size and magnitude reacts to the concentrations I am detecting inside Dohlen."

"How sure are you of this?"

"As you said it: 'It isn't out of the ball park.'"

John gave the sky a confused look. "I… I never said that."

"I'm sorry. My memory banks must be corrupted."

"EDI?"

"That is a joke."

"Uh…? right. …Keep me updated if you see anything else then."

"Yes Commander, logging you out."

John ended the call and caught up with the large group of others trotting toward the city's wall.

When he caught up with Tali and Garrus, he gave them both looks and said nothing.

"What was that about?" Tali asked as a squad of quarian marines took the lead in a column to continue their walk, "What did you talk to EDI about? Anything particularly useful?"

Garrus just nodded his head to show John he was thinking the same thing.

"Yes, actually." John said to both of them, "She thinks the collectors, Ullipses, and Sovereign are all connected to this."

"As if we hadn't thought of that already." Tali remarked timidly, "Anything else?"

He nodded. "Yeah. There is. But I wish there wasn't."

Garrus took his chances and decided to ask. "How bad?"

John gave him a leveled stare. "Real bad."

The three of them stopped with everyone else when they reached a high gate that would lead into the city. Several quarians get working on how to open it.

"Tell us." Tali said.

"EDI thinks the reapers are testing element zero as a weapon to blow up stars."

Tali's mouth went dry.

So did Garrus'.

"What?" Garrus guffawed and actually forced a choked laugh, "Run that by me again."

"You heard me right. Blowing up _stars_."

"This is just a guess though, right?" Tali wondered rather frantically, "There's a chance she could be wrong. _Right_?"

"Yeah." John nodded to try and stave off some of the worry they both had, "She said she could be wrong."

"Keelah, I hope she's wrong."

"Me too." John rasped.

Garrus stared at the gun in his hands and sighed. "So that means the thing on Ullipses _was_ connected— how it got sucked into a black hole the way it did… right?"

"It very well could." Is all John mustered to say.

The three stood silent and stared blankly at the ground to chew it all over.

As Tali crossed her arms, she started thinking over every question that'd been hounding for years about those dreadful days they'd all spent on Ullipses.

She brought up the mental list, but knew many of them had been left completely unanswered.

And for all she knew, they'd probably stay that way.

"This is a nightmare." Tali murmured out loud. She turned to see Prazza and Kal discussing something outside out of ear-shot while Juel and Olasie stood together at the door, waiting for it to open.

"What should we do if that's true?" Garrus asked.

"I don't know." John said with a shrug, "I have no clue."

Tali couldn't help but shrug with him. "Let's hope it doesn't have to come to that."

"Yeah." Garrus agreed, "Let's hope."

"And guys?" John added, "Let's keep this between us. At least for now."

"Right."

* * *

><p>Night came for the group on Haestrom.<p>

The group was largely relieved by the stricken heat and shining sun, but was disappointed to realize the concrete walls and buildings around them would start radiating out whatever rays they'd collected for the day well into the night.

Which meant the city would stay blistering at a solid 102 degrees.

It was **_hot_**.

_John_ was hot.

Bone dry heat or not, being this hot in full gear was bound to give you a great case of swamp ass.

John had taken off his his chest plate a while ago and stripped down to just boots, pants, and t-shirt. His face was slick with sweat, as was his arms.

As uncomfortable as it looked, Tali couldn't help but think how ridiculously attractive it made him.

"You look good like that." Tali said as she walked up to him with a canteen to hand him, "Here."

"Ha." He scoffed as he accepted the canteen, "Thanks."

He drank the cold water deeply and nodded satisfyingly. "Jesus. Thanks for refilling that. Gotta keep the fluids running. Pissed around eight times already the past two hours."

She laughed a little before sitting down next to him. "That's a lot."

John capped the bottle and set it down before picking up his food pouch to eat his chicken dumplings. "You eat dinner already?"

"Mhmm." She nodded, "You know. The usual. Modeling clay."

He smiled at her joke before stuffing another dumpling in his mouth. "You still remember that? I said that years ago."

She nodded again. "Yeah. I do."

He ate little more and gave her a loving look.

"How's everyone doing?" John decided to ask, "They all okay?"

"Doing fine." Tali answered, "What about you? How's your uh, '_marines'_, doing?"

"Sweatin' up a storm. Just like me. They're behaving, if that's what you wanted to know."

"Good."

They both continued to sit and enjoy their company in silence.

Occasionally, John would stare out between his spoonfuls of chicken to the quarian camp, the stars, Garrus' camp, and then the camp for Cerberus.

They'd been faring well, honestly.

No complaints from Cerberus standing shoulder to shoulder with the quarians. Maybe TIM had enlisted a detachment of more open minded individuals just for the Normandy. Or maybe they knew enough to keep their mouths shut and to just deal with it. Regardless of the fact, everyone he'd met on his ship hadn't made an issue of working with nonhumans so far.

Which was odd, considering the stigma and number of complaints he'd received back on the old Normandy.

Odd indeed.

John suddenly laughed as he remembered something.

"Speaking of sweating, did you see Miranda earlier? She looked like a goddamn tomato."

Tali chuckled. "I did."

"Good to see her like that." John breathed as he finished whatever was left in his pouch of food, "Just a reminder that she's every bit as human as the rest of us."

"Minus me." Tali added with a laugh.

"Yes, Tali." He said as he rolled his eyes, "Minus you."

Tali sighed and dipped her head down. "So... we've been taking careful measurements of the sun."

"And?"

She shook her head and the joy in her eyes was gone. "Dark matter. Lots of it. EDI was right about that."

"Shit."

She put a hand on his arm to get his attention. "But that doesn't mean she's completely right. We don't know for sure if Sovereign was trying to blow up stars. It's _still_ just a guess."

"Let's hope the guess is wrong, Tali. Because we've got enough on our plate as it is, dealing with the collectors."

"I know, John." She nodded before squeezing, "It's a lot to deal with."

He set the food pouch down next to his gear and sighed. "I'm just... completely clueless of what to do."

He stared off into nothingness, his smile gone.

Her grip on his arm got stronger.

She smirked slightly. "Hey. It's amazing what you can still solve with a gun, John."

"Ah." He smiled lightly at the joke,"A quarian with the right gun and attitude. She sounds dangerous."

"She is."

He nodded at the light-hearted sentiment. "I believe it. Wouldn't want to mess with her."

She laughed before dipping her head down to look at her hands.

"I, uh— There's something else I want to tell you." Tali said in a whisper.

"What?"

"The Paltino received a transmission from my dad..." She said rather worriedly, "It's probably nothing, but the captain said it sounded urgent... so..."

John gave her a serious look. "What did he say?"

She shrugged. "Not sure. The message was scrambled and unintelligible."

"...Maybe EDI can take a look?"

Tali took a breath and nodded. "I, uh... I guess so."

"Good. Cause if your dad broke protocol trying to get in touch with us... then I don't think the news he's trying to bring is good."

"I know," Tali nodded, sullen, "You're right."

"When did he contact the Paltino?"

"Almost ten minutes ago."

He nodded mostly to himself. "Okay." He said before reaching for his omni-tool, "Let me get in contact with Joker then."

Just before John could actually call Joker, Joker called him.

Puzzling, John thought before accepting the call.

"Joker?"

"Commander," Joker said in haste, "You need to hear this. _Now_."

"What? What is it?"

"It's from Tali's dad. EDI deciphered the transmission since the Paltino couldn't make out what it was. You really need to listen to it."

The message played.

"THIS IS A PRIORITY MESSAGE: EMERGENCY RECALL OF HAESTROM OPERATION IS EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY. AUTHORIZATION FOR TERMINATION GRIEGO LINX FOUR SIX THETA ALPHA ONE. SOVEREIGN'S MOTIVE OF HAESTROM HAS BEEN DISCOVERED. YOU MUST ESCAPE. THEY'RE COMING."

John felt his face drain of blood and Tali was much the same.

* * *

><p>AN:

Another questionnaire for you guys! Thanks for participating!

**1.)** Dark Matter Theory: What's your idea of it? Do you have your own well made explanation or plot line for it? What do you want to see, progression wise, for Mass Effect Premonition: End Of Dawn progression wise?

**2.)** When I finally finish finalizing all the rewriting of most of these chapters for both books, would you be willing to re-read the whole story? (I'll tell you now that you won't regret it if you do.)

**3.)** How long would you like these chapters to be for the future? 3,000? 4,000? My typical 5,000? More?

* * *

><p><strong><em>Remember<em>**, your input can shape the future of this story. I write this for myself just as much as I do for all of you!

Have any questions for me regarding a character or the plot? Let me know! I love questions!

Will hopefully continue dishing out a chapter once a month. (As I have been doing)

If we're lucky, twice a month.

No promises about the twice a month thing, however, unfortunately.

As a remaining promise to all of you, I'll never give up on this story.

Ever.

So if I stop, it's because I'm dead. (If that happens, I'm hoping you guys'll figure out a way to keep the chapters rolling without me.)

-Narcrotic


	53. AN

A/N:

Hello everyone. Just thought I'd get you all caught up on some news.

I finished the rewrite. And I want to tell you all this will be the very. last. time. I do it. Because now I know completely that the writing style I've adopted is much smoother and organic than what it was before. IE No more wordy bullshit.

I'll be re-rolling out the chapters for _Mass Effect Dissolution: The Fall of Normandy_ shortly.

If you haven't read it before, I'd highly suggest that you do.

If you _have _read it before..? I'd highly suggest that you do.

Then, when I'm done after that, I'm re-releasing _Mass Effect Premonition: The End of Dawn_. Because I touched up on some stuff. Well, a lot of stuff.

lol. Nothing _huge_ though. There isn't anything I subtracted away from. Believe me. I wouldn't ever do that.

If you guys have something to say or want to yell at me, you can shoot that rant through review or PM and I'll apologize and frantically ask for forgiveness.

Oh, I should probably add that I'm going to release these every three days. Or somewhere along there. If you have any quarrels with that, you know what to do.

That is all. :)


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